Responses To A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by keaton-furman-prower

The Stare Master

Author's Note:

Original letter here.

Dear Twilight Sparkle:

If Fluttershy wishes to have her animals eat little ponies for dinner, you probably shouldn’t interrupt her, especially if one of said ponies is inbred. Come to think of it, you could probably allow her to “babysit” those two idiot unicorns who necessitated the new eugenics program.

But I must say I’m surprised that you would want to ask the zebra for anything. Didn’t you want her lynched? On the other hoof, that “tea” she made you sounds pretty good, given how that night turned out. In fact, I think you should drink Zebra tea more often. I enjoy the thought of you getting stoned

It’s a shame that the fillies didn’t end up getting eaten by the animals, though. I guess that just proves that children are pretty effective at being parasites. You ought to get used to them, as you might one day have a foal of your own.

Oh, that would be hilarious. Especially if it ends up like those three. Seriously, if you don’t end up chasing your filly into the Everfree forest because she went looking for a lost chicken, I could have you banished to the moon for child abuse. Then, since you didn’t have the ability to “stare” a cockatrice into submission, you’d be stoned forever!

Oh my, that would be the best thing ever! I’d have to tell Fluttershy not to go looking for her chicken, though. I wouldn’t want you to recover.

Your non-stoned ruler, Princess Celestia.

P.S.: Please bring me that chicken. I'm very hungry.

Comments

[Lag Incarnate]

Mmm, chicken. You know which pony reminds me of chicken?

Gilda.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

3658970 Did you order original recipe? Or extra crispy?

[Mr Zelda C Brony]

3658970 i was leaning more towards scootaloo. does that make me a monster if i imagined seein scootaloo used like a chicken? I MEAN LOOK AT HER -->

[Mr Zelda C Brony]

3659403 Slightly crispy please WITH SOME FRIES AND A SODA!!

[Neko Majin C]

I am sure with her demeanor Twilight would make someone the perfect first wife.

KBO.

[user123]

3659403
EXTRA CRISSSPY.

[The Real McCoy]

3658970
She's not a pony, you know...