Mission 4: Deep Space
[A/N: Hi everypony! The story will be following random ponies on the Mothership for the next few chapters and will then continue following Starlight Eclipse. This Psych Report will explain why. Also this is revision 6 of this chapter as I wasn’t happy with the way the previous revisions turned out, also this revision is the first to exclude Eclipse.]
~~Time in Hyperspace: 7 Hours~~
~~Location: Briefing room 3~~
Analysis of the flight recording recovered from the vessel captured at Kharak reveals that the Kharak missile defence heavily damaged the attacking fleet, but we have determined that at this time they could still easily defeat us. We have thus plotted a course to a deep space asteroid field where we bide our time and prepare our fleet to enact retribution upon our enemy.
~~End Briefing~~
As the various Captains and Squad leads left the briefing room, one particular captain with a mane like fire locked on to her target.
“Rainbow Dash, a word,” she suddenly called out.
Trotting over to the captain Dash snapped into a smart salute, “Yes Sir, Captain Spitfire, Sir! ...um Ma’am! ...uuum?”
“At ease. And its Ma’am, do I look like a stallion to you?”
Dash dropped the salute but still remained tense, “No Ma’am, it wasn’t my intention to imply that you were, Ma’am.”
“Irrelevant, I called you over because I have bad news for you. I’m sorry to have to tell you, but your squad has been grounded indefinitely.”
“WHAT! WHY?”
“Let’s see, maybe it has something to do with the fact that both of your wing ponies have suffered extreme psychological trauma. Eclipse has become emotionally unstable and refuses to speak to anypony, while ‘Maelstrom’ has become somewhat aggressive and has already been involved in several... altercations, he is currently confined to quarters.”
“Oh... I see.” A suddenly dejected Dash mumbled
“Look Dash, I know that flying is what you live for, both with your wings and in a ship, but I cannot in good conscience allow your squad to go out in the condition your wing ponies are in.”
“I know Captain, but isn’t there anything you can do?”
“I’ll see if I can get you a temporary position on one of the non-military ships, but I can guarantee anything.”
“Thank you Captain.”
“Like I said, no guarantees. You are dismissed, I have paperwork to do”
Dash pulled another salute and left the room.
~~Psychological Report of Dr. Spoonbender~~
Patient: Eclipse, Starlight
Age: 22 Years
Race: Pegasus
Rank: Wingpony 1st class, Corvette squadron
Psych Evaluation:
There is not much I can say, Starlight has become extremely withdrawn. So much so that I believe that she isn’t even aware of her surroundings. This can be attributed to the shock of the sudden loss of her entire family.
I have thus declared her unfit for active duty, and have prescribed a powerful anti-depressant. I also suggest that she not be left on her own as I fear she may attempt suicide.
I will attempt to help her recover in our subsequent sessions.
~~End of Report~~
~~Time in Hyperspace: 3 Weeks~~
~~Location: Research department~~
Giving the blue coated unicorn in front of her desk a glance before returning to the research proposal floating in the air in front of her, Twilight flipped through a few pages, before putting the report down.
“Trixie, this is a good idea, but there seems to be a problem you’ve overlooked”
“The Intellectual and Calculating Trixie has overlooked nothing.” Replied the blue unicorn with a huff, “Lasers are the answer!”
“At extremely short range yes, but you are forgetting diffraction. Over a few hundred meters lasers ARE effective, but in the distances of normal space combat the diffraction renders a cutting laser useless.”
“Trixie knows that! That’s why Trixie had developed this!” she exclaimed flourishing a second docket
“And what is that?” Asked Twilight suddenly intrigued.
“This is a new lens crystal lattice design that I, The Intellectual and Calculating Trixie have developed. It will better focus the laser so that diffraction is negligible.”
“I see, and where on a corvette would you mount this lens that’s as large as a corvette?” twilight deadpanned.
“Well right on the... on the... oh.” Trixie replied, head hanging low, “Trixie has failed to take size into calculation. Trixie will now go and correct her research!”
With that exclamation Trixie reared up and brought her hooves down releasing a small cloud of smoke and ran out the door.
“What a weird pony.” Twilight sighed before returning to organising the checklist she was busy with before Trixie burst in.
~~Ship wide announcement~~
>> 5 minutes to Hyperspace exit
~~Deep Space~~
All is calm
Suddenly a Hyperspace gate opens and spits out the Mothership before sealing itself up again
>>Hyperspace jump successful
Scanner data indicates asteroid density is very high in this region.
We are to commence resource gathering immediately.
Due to the fact we know little about this region of space. All resourcing operations are going to have an escort of at least two wings of fighters.
To increase resourcing efficiency we are going to place a resource controller in close proximity to the asteroid field.
--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--
~~Location: Mess hall~~
“Heya Dash!” called a pale yellow Pegasus mare
“Hi Flare, what’s up?”
“The Cap’n said you was lookin to fly a few civ jobs cus your team is grounded, an we gots an opening flyin a resource collector cus if yous is interested?”
“What happened to your regular pilot?”
“Crunch done give himself alcohol poisonin from drinkin too much of dat ‘shine that Berry makes, ah told him to go easy, but you think he gonna listen?”
“Berry has a still? Cool!” exclaimed a very excited Rainbow Dash, “Anyways, thanks for the offer, but I’ll pass on it.”
“Why you passin? I thought you loved flyin?”
“I love flying FAST! Collectors are slow as hell, and you can’t do anything cool in them, they’re too big and clumsy.”
“C’mon Dash, we needs you on this job.” Pleaded Flare, “Also, Berry dun owe me a favour, so if you do the job imma put in a good word for you and score you a discount wit her, an I’ll buy ya two bottles.”
“Twist my hoof why don’t you. Fine, you make it three bottles and you got yourself a deal!”
“Deal” replied Flare spitting on her hoof and holding it out to Dash, who proceeded to shake it
~~3 hours later~~
Dash broke the holding pattern around the chunk of space rock as the phased disassembly array finished stripping it of all useful elements. Checking the meter on storage capacity she saw it at 100%
“Come in fleet, tank is full, heading to resource controller.”
“Acknowledged resource 1, cleared to proceed.”
Sensor Alert!
Long range sensors indicate a Mothership class mass signature, its coming in fast, power readings are off the scale.
Full combat alert!
Stand by for contact.
A massive grey ‘U’ shaped ship rapidly approaches the Mothership stopping a few hundred Kilometres away, before turning so that the opening of the ‘U’ is toward the Mothership
>>Ambassador away
An unarmed corvette class ship exits the Mothership and heads towards the Alien vessel
Trajectory locked in. Hailing signals open on all channels.
Entering magnetic field now...
Almost there... Fleet, we’ve lost guidance and are being drawn in...
There’s a lot of lights... there seems to be... some kind of activity inside, I can see... >Signal lost<
A new signal is picked up from the alien vessel a few minutes later
We are the Bentusi and welcome you among space-faring cultures. The Unbound. The Outer Limb trade Routes were established in the First Time by our ancestors.
The resources you collect are of value to the Bentusi Exchange. They will serve as an acceptable medium for trade.
It has been our custom to equip trading partners with an exchange unit. It has therefore been provided to your ambassador as a gesture of good will.
"Fleet, this is ambassador. We are clear of the Bentusi vessel, all systems green. Harbour control has released guidance and the exchange unit is secure. Receiving crews, prep the quarantine chamber."
"Roger that. Quarantine standing by."
>>Bentusi Trading link established.
>>Sole item for trade is schematics for a directed energy weapon called the Ion Cannon
>>Purchased
>>Forwarding Schematics to research department
>>Bentusi Trading link disconnected
Turanic Raiders, servants of the Taiidan are arriving. They must not learn of our contact. We must depart.
All that moves is easily heard in the void. We will listen for you. Farewell.
With that parting statement, a yellow Hyperspace gate opens and takes in the Bentusi vessel.
Sensor Alert!
Sensors have detected incoming vessels, EM scanning indicated these are the same ships that destroyed the Kar’Selim.
All units prepare for combat and engage the enemy with extreme prejudice.
~~R&D Report – Ion Cannons~~
The schematics for the Ion Beam Cannon provided to us by the Bentusi are amazing. They detail a directed energy weapon of devastating power, and the power generator required to supply enough energy to fire it.
This however seems to have angered my colleague Trixie Lulamoon, as she has been trying to develop something similar for the past few weeks with little to no success. I am starting to find myself rather annoyed at her constant referral to herself in the thirdpony. This however is a minor issue and can be ignored for now.
As for a possible ship to be constructed housing the Ion Beam cannon, due to its significant power requirements it can only be mounted on Frigate class chassis or larger. We will continue to study the technology so that we might be able to reduce the size of the assembly.
H.O.D – Twilight Sparkle
~~End report~~
~~Ambassador’s Report~~
Upon docking with the Bentusi vessel, I was greeted by a group of creatures with a body structure very similar to ours, in fact, if not for their colouration they could easily be mistaken for ponies.
Their colouration was most curious, all of them were only white with black stripes forming patterns over their bodies, and no two had the same pattern, also instead of having an image as a cutie mark, they all had some manner of glyph.
After being greeted, I was led to meet their diplomat who called herself Zecora (pronounced: Ze-core-ah), a very interesting individual as she only spoke in rhyme and was the only one to do so. From her I learned that they call their species ‘Zebra’ (pronounced: zee-bra) and their people are called Bentusi translating roughly as “Nomads”, she also gave me some documentation on their history in exchange for ours. (Documents have been added to archive)
They then presented me with the Exchange Unit and instructed me on its use and proceeded to escort me back to my ship.
~~End of Report~~
~~Mission Report~~
The Turanic Raider force has been destroyed, however they did manage to cause minor damage to the Mothership, repairs are already underway.
In an attempt to surprise us, the Hyperspaced several advanced Ion cannon Frigates into close proximity to the Mothership, we were able to capture all 8 of their ships.
The pilots were interrogated for several hours and we learned much about their race. They were then executed and their corpses were sent to research for xenobiology studies. All information gained has been entered into the archive.
We can now focus on our immediate goal: preparation for an attack on the Taiidan fleet that devastated Kharak. If we strike now, we can take advantage of their damaged condition.
Hyperspace co-ordinates have been transferred to fleet command.
~~End of Report~~
>>Hyperspace co-ordinates locked in.
>>Hyperspace jump initiated.
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FRICKING CELESTIA, YES. I was just going on and on about this game yesterday, lamenting the death of the fan community and the franchise. So glad to have found this. I'll read it as soon as I get a chance. ^^
No way. NO WAY. HOW have TWO PEOPLE stolen the name for my story! ARGH.
On a less RAGE-filled note... I'll have to read this later.
Everyone's stealing my good ideas before I even come up with them... rrrrgh. I have severely underestimated the Homewrold fandom...
Im going to take a guess at what the other races will be.
Taidan = Warlike Griffins
Turanic Raiders = Diamond Dogs
Bentusi being ancient unbound integrated into their own ships... Dragons?
Kadeshi are not exactly Kushan so maybe Zebra?
The only complaint I have is not enough epic space battles. Other than that, this story is good.
I wonder what Trixie would think of the Bentusi Super Acolytes? She'd probably get pissed off that they perfected the design so well they mounted it on a fighter, most likely.
2531728
Screw the overrated FO:E universe! The HW:E universe is where it's at!
Also, Poneworld
I love it!
Are you implying that Trixie invented ion cannons before the Bentusi even showed up, and just got shoved out of the way? Because that is awesome. Except that ion cannons are particle cannons, not lasers. But... eh, screw it: Trixie.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANO. Unnecessary! NO! EXTERMINAAAAAATE.
Just kidding. Keep it, for Christ's sake. That is awesome.
Zebras as the Bentusi... huh. I'm going with dragons, but hey, watchagonnado? Also, I can tell you've never played Cataclysm: The Bentusi are supposed to be fused to their ships like Karan S'jet is. Then again, half the fandom hates Cataclysm with a passion, so your mileage may vary.
And who are the Taiidan? Dragons? Or something original? And the Turanic? Because they should be Diamond Dogs, seriously. Diamond Dogs need more love.
In summation; this is good, but there's always room for improvement. Keep writing, and I'll keep reading. I hope you'll extend me the same courtesy once my iteration of this little tales is completed.
One thing that interested me... there hasn't been much reference to magic so far. Is there a reason for that, or has it just not come up?
Finally: Don't be afraid to break from canon more. You're sticking very close to the rails here, but I feel like if you'd just step out of the box a little more, this could really take off. Consider it, please.
2531743
I'm serious, man. Once we're all done we should get together, iron out a single continuity, and start building. This could be really awesome.
I really want to go with Poneworld, but Our Little Homeworld is honestly growing on me. If I was aiming for a comedy tag, it would be Poneworld, hands down. But comedy and Homeworld don't mix often.
2531831
Hey, I'm game if you are!
Also, while I agree that HW and comedy don't mix, I think if it's done in the right amount, it should be fine. For instance, mine contains several bits of comic relief throughout the chapters, partly because I never intended it as a serious drama or anything like that, and partly because I can never take anything seriously.
2531841
I don't think 500 is an impossible number. The heavy cruiser's crew numbered no more than 150. Probably because everything would be automated
2533649
I'm just taking into account the amount of crew the fleet would need by the end. Probably two-five destroyers, a carrier or two, a heavy cruiser or two... plus fighters, corvettes and frigates... even if we take some liberties and say some of the strikecraft are slave-circuited (as in, controlled remotely by the squad leader, which is what I'm doing eventually to stave off the massive death-tolls of later battles) there still need to be enough ponies to fill all those ships, plus run the Mothership. You're going to need to wake up some ponies to maintain any decent-sized fleet.
Also, where did you hear 150 for a heavy cruiser? I've never come across that figure.
2533795
Ahh yes, I forgot about future crew needs. I guess you could get some people from the cryo trays (assuming they have the experience to be on a military vessel).
As for the 150 crew thing: http://homeworld.wikia.com/wiki/Avatar-class_Heavy_Cruiser
"The ship's complement of 150 engineers, gunners, and command crew, are the most vied-for positions in the fleet and the competition for them was even fiercer than that for bridge assignments to the Mothership during the Homeworld War."
One could argue that the 150 are specifically for those three positions only, but I think it was more of an example of what roles were played aboard the HC, rather than all of them.
2531831
Regarding the lens thing. I'm trying to illustrate the directed energy weapons research process, and no, Trixie did not "invent" an Ion cannon before meeting the Bentusi, she merely tried to create a war grade laser capable of being used in space, considering the distances involved even the most accurate laser wouldn't be much good except for point defense. IE: directed energy weapons research is Trixie's responsibility. thus her anger at having several weeks research shown to be wasted buy the purchace of the ION cannon Schematics
No I haven't played cataclysm, i only have HW 1+2 with R.E.A.R.M
I already have the Races figured out in my story. Forgot the dogs... mmm i wonder...
magic will show up later, in some form or another.
Also gonna break canon in a few ways later
2531588
I seriously didn't know there where other HW:E fics. Hell, every time I've ever mentioned HW to another gamer i get met with a blank stare.
2531841
Dash is all about Loyalty, she saw Eclipse quitting as abandonment, she doesn't take that well.
Xenobiology studies... Know thine enemy... all of him
The mane thing was to try show a slight personality shift. I'll extrapolate more later.
Take note, when the Mothership first left the scaffold it was running on minimum crew with karen Sjet/Celestia automating most procedures. Fleet command is more than capable of running the Mothership on her own, the crew are mostly colonists, engineers and combat personnel. Source: Historical and Tactical guide installed with the game.
Also 5/6 trays where saved and i altered the number of ponies on each tray.
2533649
Probe golfing
2531707
I've already set the Races. U'll see later. also excluding HW:Cataclysm canon
2531505
Another Fan woot!
See my latest blog entry if you have any questions
Here is a song to compliment your story.
2531831if this gets to Homeworld 2 who would the progenitors be? Human maybe?
2542186
Credits song. always loved it.
2542221
I figured I'd jump that gate when i got to it
The biggest issue I have with this is that you rush through everything. You don't spend enough time with each scene to fully explore the characters, plot, and setting. This story could be three times the length that it is. (And it would be a lot better if it was.)
The second biggest issue is the mood. I think you're trying to put in too much humor, and make it too light hearted. Yeah, ponies are like that, but Homeworld is the opposite. This game starts out as a hopeful but precise scientific endeavor, and then turns into a desperate quest with no turning back, where pretty much everything wants to kill you. The first few missions are filled with grief and revenge. Emphasize that.
You already have in place some great ideas that can work as a framework, but you need to flesh them out more. Eclipse losing her brother was like a gold vein that was discovered but never mined. And don't feel like you need to stick so closely to the Homeworld canon. Don't let it hold you back from something even better.
2559061
thnxs for the advice. I'll definitely work on exploring the characters and plot more.
2559061
I think I can agree with you there. Actually make those chapters 6 times as long, or more. If really fleshed out this could be such a huge adventure! As it is now it feels like dry bones and needs a lot of revision. This is coming from someone who loves both franchises and has always wanted to see them come together.
2445817
I'll take the Hiigarin Battlecruiser anyday!
2714436
In HW2 the Kadeshi Lance ship is where the devastation is at
27155341
Nah. Just give me a thousand swarmers and I'm set.
2716303
In the gardens in my HW 1 PT (for plot reasons & i never finished this one) i destroy the fuel pods and leave them stranded. i am an asshole
2716330
I dunno, dude...A thousand swarmers could probably obliterate a large fleet on a single tank of fuel.
Or a giant nest of space bees...
2731976
HOLY MOTHER OF CELESTIA! HOW THE FUCK!!!
also i saw a green ion beam! how does i maek for that!!
2740092
I honestly don't know. Maybe the fighters dock faster than they launch, so if you do it long enough, you get...well...that.
As for the green ion, I think it's just a mod.