Celestia's Daughter

by Splodge Inks

Princess Stardust

My name is Princess Stardust. I wasn't actually meant to be here as Celestia, my mother, doesn't really have time for children. I am an Alicorn. I was born with a wavy mane which is really weird, because you are meant to have it when you are fully grown up, but my mother had the same, born with a flowing mane. It's the same thing with my mane colours. It's a dark blue with white stars that stream to the bottom, instead of colours. I'm also another Element of Harmony. It's a strange one, to me. The Element of Wisdom. I didn't think I'd be very wisdom-y, because I think I'm not as smart as Twilight Sparkle. But I came top of class too.

I don't know who my father is. I always worry about it. I sometimes panic, thinking it is a bad guy. My coat is jet black, so when I saw King Sombra I had a heart attack. 'No, Stardust,' Mum would say. 'King Sombra isn't your father. I'm not like that.'

I often resorted to asking Auntie Luna. I thought because she really loved me, she would give in and tell me. But of course, she said the same thing. 'What? Where did you get THAT idea from?'
'Well, I thought I looked like him, so here I am.'
'It isn't true. I'm not meant to tell you, you know that.'

So then I would try Candace. Only to find out she had no idea who my father was anyway, so it was no use asking her. I went to the library. I searched through the thousand books. Myth books, History books, Royal Family books. And I found nothing. Or "The father is unknown" blah blah blah. When I am at Ponyville, I get Twilight to stare through her books, but then she'd say, 'Look, Stardust, see? I've flicked through all my books for the 10,000th time, and no word saying who your father is have magically appeared!'

I then almost died when I remembered Discord. Imagine, Discord, a father. MY father. Ew. It's a thought never to be thought of, to be honest. Mum used to tell me the story of how she defeated Discord with her sister when I was young. I loved the story so much and I always got her to tell me it as a bedtime story. But I don't think Mum would have anything to do with Discord. Auntie Luna was Nightmare Moon back then. When Mum told me about her I asked "Where is she now? I want to see her!" But Mum said it would be best not to see her. The first time I actually saw auntie Luna was at the Sun Raising festival. I told Twilight she was crazy, thinking a mare would come down from the moon. But there auntie Luna was. Auntie Luna just laughed when I told her my theory of Discord being my father.

I then thought it must just be a simple pony. Unicorn, Pegasus, or Earth. But Mum said she couldn't tell me. I said,
'Oh, well... THEN IT MUST BE DISCORD!'
'What? No, you silly filly, Discord, you're father! Ha!' She said mockingly. I thought she said it strangely though. So it's always a possibility. I flew around the whole of Equestia thinking if I ask as many people, one might say "Oh yes, Princess Stardust! Your father is..." But of course, it never happened. My friends said I should just give up. Well, all apart from one. Another secret Element of Harmony. The Element of Inspiration. Splodge Inks. The book author. She was BORN an Alicorn. Which is impossible. The media, the world and my mother came to see this strange foal. She told me it's because her mum is a Unicorn and her dad is a Pegasus and she kinda just got the two things mushed together to create her.

I haven't given up... yet. My friends see that, and help me anyway they can. But we have never came to a conclusion. There is a giant possibility of ponies. It's just an unknown fact. But my father will be awesome! Well, if he isn't Discord. Or King Sombra. Or any bad guys.

I don't see why Mum wants to keep this a secret. Do I not get to know who my own Father is?! I even snooped around Mum's room and found my Birth Certificate. "Father: Unknown". Well, that was unexpected. I thought she would tell the Hospital who my own Father is, but NO! I just don't get it. Is she ashamed? It must be a bad guy. It MUST be! This is the reason!

Discord wouldn't make a good dad. Being Chaotic nightmare all the time. I have freckles on my nose and Discord said he had "Always admired my freckles." and I said "Well, that's because you are a weirdo!". Liking someone for their freckles, that's random. They are MEANT to be a sign of beauty. So Discord thinks I shouldn't have them, I should think. I now officially don't like him.

I can't find any books at book stores about anything that I think I should be able to find my Father is in. I can't find anypony I can squeeze any information out of, because I am a Princess. Auntie Luna gave me the power of raising the stars for her. So I am Princess of the Stars and Wisdom (or Thought). Maybe my Dad had something to do with the Stars... Starswirl the Bearded? No. He is an old man. I pretty sure he's dead, or something. I don't know. Why can't Mum or Auntie Luna just TELL ME?! I always thought my Father is out there. And I'm sure he is. It's just, WHERE is he?

Author's Note:

OK, this is my first story. I'm not promising anything, but if you do so enjoy and think I should carry on, please tell me in the comments! I also accept if you dislike it or something. But please, don't just insult me. Bye!
P.S
My user name is Splodge Inks, yes. She is my Ponified me and I just thought "Well, I could add her too..." into my story, so that's why she is there.

Comments

[ShagDragon]

when I saw King Sombra I had a heat attack.

I think you mean heart attack.
Not bad, not bad at all. I like the concept, and you don't seem to have a lot of spelling or grammar mistakes. However, I somewhat dislike that you added two elements of harmony.
Overall, good work for your first time.

[Splodge Inks]

2312849 Thank you. Yeah, I meant heart attack, I'll go sort that out. I know about the 2 new Elements, but I decided to give the OC's some significance. Thanks for your view points!

[ShagDragon]

2312862 Always happy to help.

[Metool Bard]

2312862 Um, there are ways to do that besides making them Elements of Harmony, you know. Actually, I wouldn't mind it so much if you explained it better. Consider that these two Elements were somehow not needed for the banishment and subsequent reformation of Luna, nor the defeat of Discord, nor Twilight's ascension to princesshood. It simply raises too many questions.

Other than that, I guess this story is not bad for a first try. I've seen worse reasons for alicorn OCs, and the first-pony narrative is a nice touch. I will say that you spelled Cadence's name wrong, and the formatting and punctuation could use a bit of polish. Also, show, don't tell. If you have Princess Stardust tell us who she is, it comes off as a sloppy exposition dump. Instead, let us see who she is. Have her interact with other ponies before she addresses the audience. Give her a bit of introspection before launching into the greeting. Make us connect with her, and thus care about her.

Alright, I'm done. I hope that helped.

[MetaKnight145]

Celestia's Daughter

Oh Sithis here we go.

[Lady Alucard]

This is just my opinion but maybe you should add more sentence structure. Some short sentences create part of the story but creative, long sentences give the story its 'wow'. Revise some sentences, give them more and make 'em sound good! Right now your sentences are short and sweet WHICH IS OK but if you want a REALLY good story, try this.
For example: Let's say someone wrote a sentence like this. "Twilight had fear because of the pony's look." Doesn't sound to good, right? Let's change somethings.
Change one: "Twilight felt fear because of the pony's look." Sounds a little better, right? Let's add some more to give it some WOW.
Change two: "Twilight felt fear rising up inside her because of the pony's look." Oh! Let's give it some SHAZZAM.
Change three: "Twilight felt fear rising up inside her because of the pony's glare." Maybe one more tweak will fix it.
Final Change: "Twilight felt fear rising up inside her from the pony's sinister glare." Sounds WAY better, right?

Starting Sentence: "Twilight felt fear because of the pony's look."
Finished Sentence: "Twilight felt fear rising up inside her from the pony's sinister glare."

All I'm saying is give your sentences some WOW and SHAZZAM and you'll have a breath-taking story! They don't ALL have to be long but a few makes the story. Just trying to help, ok? Not saying your story bad but, just make your sentences a little more interesting.

Have a nice day,
Princess Nightwing