The frozen wastes of Stalliongrad teem with conflict and strife as pony, machine, and the wild battle ferociously for control. One unicorn, on a mission she did not ask for, makes her way into Tartarus itself.
9445392 Thank you for the feedback and critiques! They really mean a lot to me as I fumble and bumble my way through this story. And actually the "rebuilding foals" story quest thing is pretty much exactly what I thought; this was a quest I very much would have liked in Fallout 4 and that's where the inspiration came from and I'm glad to see someone else share the same thought I had!
I keep looking at the nitpicks and thinking: "Man... I really need to slow my butt down and proof read more!" So, I'm thinking... once things settle down with work (getting used to a brand new job (yay!)) I think I'm going to go through the old chapters and edit, just to make them more palatable grammar-wise. I'm sure with hindsight I'll probably have more things to add too, which I'll figure out some way to integrate it so as to not break continuity.
Anyway, thank you again for the feedback, I love it! And I reaffirm my promise; this story, no matter how long it takes my busy (and sometimes lazy) butt to post, it's not going to die.
9449455 As I have said to a few other people that have been feeling the blues after seeing my nitpicks do i rarely read stories in here that I don't post a few nitpicks on, and beside that am I literary a professional editor with my name credited in 3 published books by this point. I can't write to safe my own life, but i can damn well make up for it by reading and talk about what I have read. And with that said, if you don't have a second pair of eyes looking over your shoulder while you write am I surprised that there ain't more mistakes poking their heads up.
9466153 Thanks! I truthfully don't have anybody pre-reading... I asked a few times in the group to find an editor, but either no one bit or the people who volunteered couldn't do it. I had a friend who did the first few chapters, but he's... lazy. I would ask him for an edit or proof read, he would say "Yeah" and then I wouldn't hear a peep about it for 2-3 weeks. I know he's not too busy. So at that point I decided to just do what I could. I'm already slow on updates as it is.
Hah! I called it, a major cliffhanger, and we are not even at the end of the Stable yet!
Nitpicks: "so what warrants having this much on hand?" I know that it is a widely debated topic if ponies would use this term or not, but I am honestly not a fan of it in my pony fics. "Those things are rights outside and all we fucking need is one noise and we’re trapped.” No need for the plural s " Its sickly underbelly limbs loss their grip and I fell" lost
9258112
Thanks! I was worried how that would turn out.
9445392
Thank you for the feedback and critiques! They really mean a lot to me as I fumble and bumble my way through this story. And actually the "rebuilding foals" story quest thing is pretty much exactly what I thought; this was a quest I very much would have liked in Fallout 4 and that's where the inspiration came from and I'm glad to see someone else share the same thought I had!
I keep looking at the nitpicks and thinking: "Man... I really need to slow my butt down and proof read more!" So, I'm thinking... once things settle down with work (getting used to a brand new job (yay!)) I think I'm going to go through the old chapters and edit, just to make them more palatable grammar-wise. I'm sure with hindsight I'll probably have more things to add too, which I'll figure out some way to integrate it so as to not break continuity.
Anyway, thank you again for the feedback, I love it! And I reaffirm my promise; this story, no matter how long it takes my busy (and sometimes lazy) butt to post, it's not going to die.
9449455
As I have said to a few other people that have been feeling the blues after seeing my nitpicks do i rarely read stories in here that I don't post a few nitpicks on, and beside that am I literary a professional editor with my name credited in 3 published books by this point. I can't write to safe my own life, but i can damn well make up for it by reading and talk about what I have read. And with that said, if you don't have a second pair of eyes looking over your shoulder while you write am I surprised that there ain't more mistakes poking their heads up.
9466153
Thanks! I truthfully don't have anybody pre-reading... I asked a few times in the group to find an editor, but either no one bit or the people who volunteered couldn't do it. I had a friend who did the first few chapters, but he's... lazy. I would ask him for an edit or proof read, he would say "Yeah" and then I wouldn't hear a peep about it for 2-3 weeks. I know he's not too busy. So at that point I decided to just do what I could. I'm already slow on updates as it is.
Hah! I called it, a major cliffhanger, and we are not even at the end of the Stable yet!
Nitpicks:
"so what warrants having this much on hand?" I know that it is a widely debated topic if ponies would use this term or not, but I am honestly not a fan of it in my pony fics.
"Those things are rights outside and all we fucking need is one noise and we’re trapped.” No need for the plural s
" Its sickly underbelly limbs loss their grip and I fell" lost
9515999
Lol, I will, and thank you for the continued comments and support! Working on 17 as we speak, as things settle down bit by bit in daily life.