The frozen wastes of Stalliongrad teem with conflict and strife as pony, machine, and the wild battle ferociously for control. One unicorn, on a mission she did not ask for, makes her way into Tartarus itself.
Kidding. In all seriousness, this was a very well thought out chapter. I liked the creepiness of the basement setting, the banter between Silver and Dust (as always), it's very well done~ ^u^
The more I read this story, the more do I feel that this kiddie arc could have been an amazing settlement questline in Fo4. Find some place or other, have a few kids camp it out like Little Lamplight, and rebuild the place. The catch is, as the story itself says, that kiddies can't do much work and is worth a lot in the wasteland, so it would be a hard place to get running. Now throw in a karma system like the older games and you could get a running quest were you could give them all of the teddy bears that you found in the wasteland for some good karma.
And thus did the faithfuls faith get tested, and only time shall reveal if she suceeded or failed… And the consequenses thereof
Nitpicks: "As I had done since I emerged from the Goddesses themselves." This sentence seems a bit misplaced "The glass was stronger than anticipated and I slide onto my face" I think that fell would be the right word to use here. "and I swing the torch wildly" swung "rows of sharp teeth" You need a space in the start of this sentence
“No, no…” I shook my head. “That’s crazy talk, Silver. Nopony is omnipotent. Only the Princesses have that kind of power. Nonsense.”
I do enjoy minute details like this reasoning. Silver rationalizing to herself something that really doesn't have to be rationalized, because of her background, is something you wouldn't think would come up until you encounter it.
Ghost smiled what could only be a sad but jaded smile. “You ask me why I don’t consider helping anypony? Why I don’t make a real effort? Because everyone ends up dying one way or another. I’ve survived on my own since I was nine. Anyone else has been a futile effort.”
“And me?”
Ghost simply looked at me. “A matter of time.”
Ah yes, the sniper who doesn't let themselves get close to anyone since they will eventually die. With his phrasing in that response, I can only assume he's betting against himself how long he can keep Silver alive.
I reeled, shocked by what I had just read. How could a mortal pony, let alone a stallion, save the Goddess of the Sun herself? What preposterous, scandalous nonsense was this?! Princess Celestia was immortal!
I'm surprised she's still getting outraged at her preconceptions being proven wrong. Though I guess this time her literal god being insulted does warrant a harsh reaction.
Nothing much to add on this chapter. The tension is palatable in the final scene, however. I would chalk that up to the structure.
8397193
Thank you! I definitely will.
Meh. I've read better. >w>
Kidding. In all seriousness, this was a very well thought out chapter. I liked the creepiness of the basement setting, the banter between Silver and Dust (as always), it's very well done~ ^u^
The more I read this story, the more do I feel that this kiddie arc could have been an amazing settlement questline in Fo4. Find some place or other, have a few kids camp it out like Little Lamplight, and rebuild the place. The catch is, as the story itself says, that kiddies can't do much work and is worth a lot in the wasteland, so it would be a hard place to get running. Now throw in a karma system like the older games and you could get a running quest were you could give them all of the teddy bears that you found in the wasteland for some good karma.
And thus did the faithfuls faith get tested, and only time shall reveal if she suceeded or failed… And the consequenses thereof
Nitpicks:
"As I had done since I emerged from the Goddesses themselves." This sentence seems a bit misplaced
"The glass was stronger than anticipated and I slide onto my face" I think that fell would be the right word to use here.
"and I swing the torch wildly" swung
"rows of sharp teeth" You need a space in the start of this sentence
I do enjoy minute details like this reasoning. Silver rationalizing to herself something that really doesn't have to be rationalized, because of her background, is something you wouldn't think would come up until you encounter it.
Ah yes, the sniper who doesn't let themselves get close to anyone since they will eventually die. With his phrasing in that response, I can only assume he's betting against himself how long he can keep Silver alive.
I'm surprised she's still getting outraged at her preconceptions being proven wrong. Though I guess this time her literal god being insulted does warrant a harsh reaction.
Nothing much to add on this chapter. The tension is palatable in the final scene, however. I would chalk that up to the structure.