The fighting had been going on for two days, now, the explosions and gunfire outside the vast shield encircling Canterlot sporadically growing and shrinking in volume as time passed. Fliers of all sizes and shapes fought for air superiority all across Equestria, while ground troops fought tooth and nail to force their enemies back.
It was one of the biggest battles Equestria had experienced, and all Celestia could do was sit by the wayside and watch.
Ever now and then, she'd see a blinding beam of energy strike from far above, followed by a low, rumbling tremor. The beams never seemed to last too long – later, she'd been terrified to find out the beams were, in fact, a Vasari bombardment weapon, capable of causing devastating earthquakes to diminish a planetside fortification's defensive capabilities. It was thanks to Rebel strike craft that the aggressors' beam platforms didn't last too long once deployed, and Vasari capital ships were constantly tied up in fierce combat to prevent them from reaching bombardment range.
The Ortalian Executioners were constantly visible as their matter colliders repeatedly blasted at something out of sight, their missile batteries launching salvos of roaring projectiles at whatever hostile aircraft tried to strafe them. Sometimes, their matter colliders rose upwards, spewing destructive energy skywards at some faraway enemy, and debris later rained down from low orbit, hitting the ground with dull, distant thuds that made Celestia cringe. Humming with worry, she made her way to the communications station set up in the throne hall.
"I CAN SHOW YOU THE WORLD," Lieia bellowed, the Vasari soldier in her grip flailing ineffectively before she threw him, the warbling alien soaring high into the air. "SHINING, SHIMMERING, SPLENDID." She backhanded another two Vasari before a missile struck her shields, knocking the Rebel Queen on her face, her armour beeping incessantly.
"WHO DID THAT? WHICH ONE OF YOU CHUCKLEFUCKS TRIED TO PULL A FAST ONE ON ME?" Her voice rose above the battle din as she got back to her feet, quickly locating the culprit – a Vasari Loyalist in a light mech that was quickly making its way towards her, its guns blazing as it spat a hail of energy bolts at her.
Immediately, she turned her rifle on it, its payload of armour-piercing rounds making the Vasari mech twitch and judder erratically as she held down the trigger, cackling maniacally.
"DANCE, BONEDADDY! DANCE!" The mech couldn't endure any more abuse and fell like a puppet with its strings cut and she snorted derisively. "You bastards think you can take me? Come on, then! I'll-"
"My Queen, you have an incoming message. Shall I connect you?" A voice on her intercom interrupted her murderous ravings.
"Sure, do it." There was a momentary crackle before it resolved into Celestia's voice.
"Queen Grisova, do you have a moment?"
"Kinda busy here, but go ahead. What's crackin'?"
"Trouble is brewing near the Whitetail Woods. Your scouts detected a number of cloaked units advancing through there."
"Shit. Well, they had to use their brains someday. If there's one thing the bastards are good at, it's getting behind enemy lines. I'll retask some gunships to take care of it."
"WHAT?!" Lieia cringed at the alicorn's shrill tone.
"Look, that's all I can spare right now. For the time being, the rest of my forces are tied up beating the Vasari back, and deploying reserves to deal with this new threat will take time, considering all the fighting in low orbit. If you've got a better idea, I'm all ears!"
Grumbling, Celestia had to concede. "Fine, you've made your point. Do as you will."
"Sweet. Those bastards will be dead before they knew what hit them. Now, if you don't mind, I've got to get back to it. Talk to you later." Another missile hit her, eliciting an infuriated bellow from her. "WHO DID THAT? SHOOT ME AGAIN, I DARE YOU."
A queen's work was never done.
It hadn't taken too long to mop up the last of the invading forces – the Vasari Loyalists were demoralized by a long string of costly victories and even costlier defeats. There were few prisoners to take in the end, and those were quickly sent off for the Vasari rebels to deal with.
As promised, Lieia's forces helped undo whatever had been destroyed during the brief, but brutal campaign against the Vasari. Destroyed roads were laid anew, ruined buildings were reconstructed, and injuries, scarce as they were, had been taken care of. Seemed like peace had returned to Equestria.
Except for the fact that Discord's statue was covered in hundreds of hairline cracks, its deteriorating state gone unnoticed due to the recent events...
"Don't worry, princess. We'll keep this planet a secret. I'd hate it if the likes of Aegis found out about this place. Trust me, that's definitely something you don't want to happen. And my people will keep quiet, too."
"Are you sure?" Celestia queried, the two leaders standing atop a hill, watching heavy carriers land and lift off, carrying soldiers, vehicles and more back into orbit.
"Totally. The thing about leading from the front is that your subordinates eventually are more loyal to you than the government they fight for. They trust me not to make stupid decisions, and I trust them to do their jobs. Earn their respect and they'll follow you to the edge of the universe itself."
"I'll take your word for it, then." Celestia replied distractedly as she watched glowing tractor beams latch onto a Executioner, lifting the massive machine of war into a Voidhammer's awaiting hangar bay. "So, what's next in store for you?"
"I get back to winning this war. Still got a lot to do before we can sit around a campfire, roasting marshmallows and singing kumbaya at sunset." That earned her an odd look from Celestia. "There's some loose ends left to tie up here, like all that debris that ended up planetside. That one might take a while to..." Her voice trailed off as she saw several trucks roll past, stark white, decorated with a single red cross on each side.
Celestia felt a pang of guilt, knowing what the vehicles' cargo was. Voice quiet, she spoke. "They're heroes, each and every one of them."
"Amen to that."
Celestia turned to look at the Rebel Queen again, but froze as she saw something that was definitely not everyday occurrence – a prodigious amount of chewing gum gumming up the woman's boots, effectively rendering her stuck in place. Lieia noticed the alicorn's horrified look, and cocked a confused eyebrow in return.
"What is it?" She shifted around – or, well, tried to, at least – but her attempts were in vain. "What the fuck is this shit?"
"Ah, ah ah! Language, young lady!" A cheery voice announced from behind and she twisted around to the best of her abilities, freezing as she saw...
"Discord." Celestia whispered weakly.
"That's my name, don't wear it out!" The draconequus cackled. Lieia's mind, however, was already working. Quickly she unholstered her revolver, drawing a bead on Discord and squeezing the trigger.
The results were... more than a little underwhelming. Instead of a bullet that could pop one's head like a ripe melon, a red flag peeked from the barrel, adorned with 'BANG!'. Discord tsk'ed disapprovingly, wagging a finger at the woman.
“Now, now. Don't you know that it's rude to shoot others?”
Lieia blinked, examining her weapon before sighing frustratedly. “Motherfucker.”
“I-I would never!” Discord exclaimed in faux horror before leaning in closer to the human – however, she showed no fear, instead glaring murderously in return.
Too late he noticed the whine. Too late he noticed the human's left arm pointing towards him, as it released a bolt of blinding energy that struck him between the eyes, knocking the draconequus on his back.
Celestia stared, slack-jawed before she was shaken out of her reverie by Lieia. “Go! Get a fucking move on! Go and get those damned Elements of yours! I'll keep this bozo busy in the meanwhile!”
Shakily, Celestia nodded and took to air as Discord let out a dazed groan, stirring from the shot.
“Oooh, kitty's got claws on her...”
“Damn right. And I'll claw out your goddamn eyes, given half a chance.” She hissed hatefully as more bubble gum appeared from the ground, mummifying all but her head.
“Feisty, aren't you? Now, let's find out what makes you...” Discord chuckled lowly, pressing a claw to the woman's forehead. “Tick.”
That had been his original plan. To find out what made Lieia Aladara Grisova tick.
Experiencing the memories of said woman being tortured to the brink of death, however, was not part of the plan, no matter how one looked at it. Screaming, gibbering things of flesh and whirring machines of razor-sharp knives assaulted his senses all at once, seemingly lasting forever.
Divine intervention came in the shape of several hundred tons of weight that flattened his corporeal form against the ground, for which he was grateful, seeing as it broke the mental link he'd set up.
Except for the fact that a giant, irate machine of war had pummeled him into the ground.
“WE MEET AT LAST, SPAWN OF QUESTIONABLE PARENTAGE. YOUR TIME IS AT AN END. PREPARE TO FACE THE FURY OF ORTALIA.”
Ow...my metaphorical neck is suffering whiplash. Forgot how fast pace this story was, anyway. It was enjoyable.
Something seems off... Lets look deeper.
There is something amiss in the force... fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2014/014/e/1/meaniepie_by_comeha-d7259oq.png
GAH! roundstable.com/forums/images/smilies/flail.gif
That startled me... giant mech of death and destruction... MAYBE IT'S FRIENDLY!quickmeme.com/img/8d/8d0f3ff4ab0b75070a0e972f4f87a23045ad7dd305c5c8b30e6db4ad1b594e34.jpg
Yep, that about sums it up. All of that for the description of a fic that I don't even think I want to read... Because yeah, possibly-friendly, giant, malfunctioning, weaponized (obviously), mechs...i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/555/893/0c3.png
Not exactly what I mean to say, but that pic pretty much sums up my thoughts on your plot as delivered by the description... yep... 5:30 AM with no sleep at all, which should make me more open to reading things of questionable quality or planning...
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
5780252 At this point, I kind of want to be done with this story - it's been so long since I started it, and I have other stories I want to begin writing.
5781131 Ar-ar-ar-ar-ar~
This. Story. Is. Fantastic.
10/10 burritos.
5781300 Nah, not really. I do, however, hope to improve in the future.
5781353 Then by all means, carry on.
Moth, moRE! fic must me 33k words!
5780298 this fic is hilarious, read it!
5782713 I have read plenty of hilarious fics, I would prefer something a little more serious...
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
5782726 More serious ones? I've got one or two of those planned once I finish the last chapter for this one.
5782733 Well, let me rephrase, I like my hilarity interspersed within longer spans of seriousness. I also have some kind of weird hate-boner for giant-ass mechs.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
5782738 I'm guessing that means you didn't like Pacific Rim.
5781300 10/10 LAVENDER POTATO TACOS WOULD EAT AGAIN
5784767 I thought about seeing it, by my hate-boner for overdone giant mechs kinda squashed any desire I had to watch it, also, the premise was beyond retarded to me.
I actually like mechs to a degree, but when they get past a certain size, it becomes ridiculous. That size is about twenty feet tall if it is a bipedal mech, if it is something else, about 15 feet tall. Any taller and my hate-boner for mechs will make me dislike it. I don't like Gundam or Voltron or Power Rangers, I also dislike the Mantis from Halo 4 (But not based on size, more on the terrible design of it). The Chickenwalkers from Star Wars are not too hated to me, They are a little bit tall, but the design is decent for what it is.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
5785136 I enjoyed the hell out of Pacific Rim. It has giant robots fighting giant aliens... what more could you ask for?
And the Halo 4 Mantis was shit, I agree. My own mech preferences are that it definitely feels like something humans made - big, bulky, utilitarian, has heavy armour plating and firepower galore. Something that makes ground quake as it advances, something that most definitely looks like it could weather a war.
I'll be sad to see it go. I'll miss that big, armored, deathbringer full of friendship and social awkwardness.
5785534 I am a bigger fan of Powered Exoskeletons and Powered Armor (which is essentially a powered exoskeleton with armor over it). Some of the power armors in Fallout 3, as well as the Crysis nanosuit.
Actually, believe it or not, the Halo Mjolnir armor isn't a powered armor; if you read the lore, it is just a layer of reactive crystal gel that amplifies kinetic force underneath a fancy composite weave and heavy ceramic plates, not powered by motors or synthetic muscles. Using a system like that is a terrible idea, because of how it amplifies kinetic force. What would happen if the wearer gets hit by anything? Hit by a bullet, well, the impact would knock the wearer over in the best case. Hit by a vehicle, the wearer's bones are turned to powder from the amplified force.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
5786361 You and me both.
In my infinite stupidity and boredom, I decided to try reading this. I know now that that was a mistake. How is this possibly considered comedy? The only things that could even be misconstrued as jokes are the obnoxious, random phrases that are neither funny nor interesting. Perhaps the comedy tag comes from the fact that bronies still think this poorly-written mess is good, but I don't have enough faith in the author to believe that. With that said, it's with great pleasure that I award you with a dislike. Congratulations, and may God have mercy on your soul.
5802255
So what else is new?
Is that supposed to upset me, or something? If so, you're doing a piss-poor job of it.
5802565
Why would I expect that to upset you? No one takes this stupid site that seriously. I'm just letting you know why I disliked this awful garbage.
5802832
*looks at your stories*
You know, people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw rocks.
5802843
That's the exact argument everyone uses when I criticize their work. I've never denied that my stories are anything but garbage, but having them compared to this mess is a huge insult. I actually read 10 chapters into this before passing my judgement while I doubt you've read anything I've written.
With that said...
5802861 I've never claimed that my stories are all that great, either. I've still a ways to go.
5802875
I'll say!
5802881 That's sorted, then. Now, I've a ChellDOS shipfic to read again.
5802888
As though I needed to be informed on your continued faggotry. Have fun, I guess.
5802843
I am Ethesto's #1 fan. His stories are the best of FIMFiction, and their odd or raunchy content does not mean it's fair to assume they're poor quality. Have you even read them? They're fucking hilarious.
5802942 How about I say we've all got different views on what funny is and leave it at that, hmm?
5802951
I didn't ask if you thought humor was relative. I asked if you'd read his stories.
5802951
No one cared who I was until I put on the mask.