Across The Gap
Across The Gap
"Come on Twilight!" said Lyra. "I just know it will work this time!" Twilight Sparkle, student of Princess Celestia and the element of magic, (as if you didn't already know this) looked up at the teal unicorn with a mix of frustration and exhaustion in her eyes. "Lyra, there is no solid evidence that points to the existence of these hue-mans. There are no credible records, and even the Princesses have no knowledge of them.
"They're just myth." she said. Lyra responded, "Look at all the things we have with us, door knobs, sewing machines, books and quills, they were all meant to be used with hands, like Spike's. Except that dragons have never had need for such things. The technology we use has been adapted to work with magic, but that's not it's original function. These things were not made by us. Just one more time OK?" "Fine" Twilight said, dropping a copy of 'Transdimensional Theory' on the floor. "At least I'm getting practice with my magic. Building up such magical endurance will greatly help me later in my studies, although I still think you're wasting your time with this old ponies tale."
Lyra responded with a sigh. "Just like Nightmare Moon and the elements of harmony are an old pony tale too right?" It was Twilight's turn to sigh.
"Well, let's say for a moment that you're right, and 'hue-mans' are real. Judging from the legends, the LAST thing we want to do it bring one to Equestria" Lyra turned back. "While, if we succeed, we'll have Equestria's most powerful unicorn to control it. Just think of what we could learn from it. That is, assuming we succeed of course." Lyra was obviously rubbing Twilight's ego, to which she simply shushed her, and said she was trying to concentrate.
Meanwhile, back on Earth, Davis was running for his life. The internal personnel were easily dispatched via having all their stamina sapped from them, making them fall asleep on the job. Davis took some of their clothes to replace the ones that had been stripped off him. Making everyone fall asleep also served to recover Davis' energy, as he was in a full out sprint the entire time. For being such a medical visionary, Richard was an idiot when it came to strategy. He hadn't changed the codes on the doors, and since Davis worked there in maintenance, he knew them all, as well as the building's layout, by heart. Richard also hadn't informed the guards about him, which Davis discovered when he bumped in the head of security.
"Working late I see?"
"Heh, yeah." Davis replied.
"Well, you better watch it, the boss already likes you. If you keep that up, you'll be in for a raise!" The guard let out a chuckle. "You seem to be in a hurry, so I better let you be on your way, I don't wanna keep the future employee of the month from doing his job." Davis hurried on his way, realizing that while he may be under the radar for now, eventually the guards would be alerted to the fate of their boss, and would be out for blood. At the same time he laughed at the delicious irony of it all. The man who tried to kill him was dead, and the one whose job it was to make sure that DIDN'T happen just complimented him. Davis took Richard's car, having taken the keys off his body prior, and drove home.
"Gah." Said Twilight. "This isn't working. Something with the universal co-ordinates must be off."
"I'm trying as hard as I can Twilight." said Lyra. This spell was particularly difficult, and so, only able to be done by one with incredible magic, like Twilight. The problem being, Lyra was the one who knew about the humans, Lyra was the one who had dreamed about the humans, and Lyra was the one who was trying to hone in on humans, wherever, and whenever, they might be. Searching all of time and space in multiple universes was straining, and Lyra didn't have nearly enough stamina. Twilight did. So Twilight would provide the energy needed, and Lyra would do the fine tuning. It required them to be perfectly synchronized, and to say it was difficult would be an understatement.
"I'm exhausted Lyra, and I can tell you are too. Although I appreciate you helping me build up my magical endurance, I think it's time we call it a night." Lyra responded, "Yeah, you're right, I suppose the research can wait for another day." Twilight showed Lyra to the door, and wished her goodnight. Lyra looked up, and judging by the position of the moon, it was already 3 in the morning. "Oh boy, Bon Bon is gonna be pissed."
Davis ditched his former bosses car a ways away from his house, and went inside to get some things. He didn't have much, and lived alone, and where he was going, he didn't need any of the comforts of society. He was a wanted man now, or at least, would be soon. Figuring the only place he could hide from the law, was where there were no other people, out in the wilderness. Davis took some survival gear from his garage, 2 hunting knives, a fishing net, several sets of warm clothes, some heavy boots, and his black trench coat with hood. Thinking he could dress warm, and the coat would hide who he was would be great for sneaking past the patrols he would eventually encounter.
The hunting knives were for once he got to Canada, so he could kill wild deer or turkeys, once they were asleep of course. The same for the fish, which is why he only needed a net and not a fishing pole, he could just catch them when they floated to the surface. First he had to get across the border. Luck was with him, because he lived not too far away from it. He didn't take his car, because he didn't want to be tracked. For the same reason, he threw out his cell phone, and any other electronics he had, save for his Ipod nano. Having everything he needed, and throwing out everything he didn't, Davis headed north, his destination being across the border, and into the untamed wilds beyond.
After Lyra got chewed out by Bon Bon for being out so late, the two room mates finally went to bed. Apparently, her excuse of 'Learning magic with Twilight' was good enough to get her out of trouble, to which Bon Bon replied,
"Well, at least it wasn't more of that human nonsense, I'm glad to see you trying to better yourself, but try not to take it so late into the night, the rest of us have jobs in the morning." Lyra laid down on her bed, and after a few moments, was out cold. She dreamed of the humans again, but this time was different. The dreams were not peaceful. The human she saw was afraid, and running from something. What it was, she did not know.
Davis crossed the border without incident. After being recognized by the border guard as, 'The murderer of Richard Trip' he simply caused the guard to pass out, and went by.
"Just great." He thought. "Well at least now I know I'm being chased." He just hoped when that guard woke up they would dismiss it as a dream. For 2 weeks, Davis traveled, before finally a small military task force, 5 special forces units, caught up to him. For the same 2 weeks, Lyra and Twilight worked together, trying to perfect their spell. Lyra was getting a little frustrated at the lack of progress they were having, but Twilight, currently not having any other projects to work on, was just pleased that she could practice magic. Luckily, by the time Lyra went to bed, the incident with Davis and the special forces had already happened, because she would not have liked what she saw.
"Hold it right there, you are under arrest for the murder of Richard Trip." Davis rolled his eyes. Since when was the military's spec ops units police officers? Especially since they weren't wearing badges belonging to any nation.
"Cut the crap Commando Joe, we both know damn well what's really going on here." The squad leader seemed stunned, but decided to negotiate.
"Very well then. we are a private military force under the command of the Verant military corporation."
"So, you're mercs." Davis replied sarcastically.
"Alright, then that makes this easy. We get paid to bring you to HQ, dead or alive. We get more money with you alive though, so if you would just come quietly we won't have to forfeit our bonus." Just great, more humans who don't care about anything other than money.
"You know, assaulting someone, kidnapping them, and running experiments on them is a serious violation of human rights." Davis spat back at his potential captors. The merc leader gave a little chuckle. "We know what you can do, you can't be considered human any more. Draining the life force of others? Sounds more like a vampire to me. Face it, you're not human, you're a monster."
This realization struck Davis right in the bone. Humans know only hatred and greed. When they commit an act of kindness, they only do so to be rewarded. Whether they are rewarded by the person they help, or in the afterlife, they don't care. They just want for themselves. Davis helped someone who he thought was his friend, only to get stabbed in the back. If all humans are evil and greedy, then Davis figured he didn't want to be a human.
"You're right, I'm not human. All humans know is greed. They take what they want, and if any resist, they call them monsters so they can justify killing them and taking it anyway. I guess that makes me a monster. Since you know what I can do, we both know how this is gonna end. Come and get me you son of a bitch."
The mercenary sighed. "Well, there goes my bonus, kill him. The eggheads can find what they need from picking him apart later." Before anyone fired a shot, 2 of the 5, one being the leader, had already dropped unconscious. The other 3 emptied their rifles. The bullets ripped through Davis' body, but there were no wounds. The 3 reloaded their guns only to drop dead from their own attack. Davis considered taking one of their guns, but it would attract too much attention as he traveled, and since he could just do what he did to anyone else he encountered, he figured he didn't need the extra weight.
Somewhat distressed that he now had the deaths of 4 people to think about, Davis let out a little chuckle. "I guess I really am a monster now."
Hey, sorry, I lied. I guess chapter 5 is when the main story is actually gonna get started. So far, I like how this is turning out. Also, don't complain about me suddenly switching to 3rd person in this chapter. It's my fic, I'll do what I want. The 1st person thing worked for the first 2 chapters, because it was from Davis' point of view. Now that I've introduced other characters switching to 3rd person seemed like a good idea. At least I kept half the promise and introduced the ponies. While Lyra is a major part of this chapter, I plan on dropping her time in the story. She's basically a plot device right now, and will be in chapter 5. After that, there will be some mention of her, and she will probably make another major appearance later, but for the most part, after Davis goes to Equestria (Come on, it's not a spoiler, you already know its an HiE story, it's gonna happen) she's gonna be taking a break. There may be some romance and sexual innuendo in this fic, but I'm not gonna make a Pinkie Pie Promise on that, I don't want a red faced pink pony to punch me through my computer. I changed chapter 2 once already to make it more better-er, and also partially because I'm still getting used to how the FimFiction website works. I happened accidently chapter 2, so I had to the whole thing again. (yes I am speaking in memes). It turned out much better. Also, there will be some serious D'aww in this, giving you warm fuzzy mental images, as well as some comic relief. It's not gonna be all doom and gloom. It just is right now because we're still dealing with the evil of humanity. Bad, BAD human!
Side note. Props to Nightgazer for tips with the paragraph style. It was all bunched together before and I agree, it made reading it difficult. It looks so much better with the spacing and is easier to find your place. I went through chapters 1-3 and in addition to the paragraph spacing, made some very minor changes with word choices to make it flow a bit better.
Stats
Page generated in 0.036 seconds
Total duration
969 users online
2,282,614 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I don't like how this started, but I'll track it, and give it a chance.
Well I can say you nailed the part about how "humanity is mostly greedy and evil, often manipulating things to their own benefit," those are just one of the (I guess it would be appropriate for the term) pointers about humanity, though I'm resisting the urge to get philosophical about this, so I shall stop here.
Also, I am enjoying how this story is turning out so far, tracked.
"An HiE story, no the main character will not be ponified, because then it would lose the whole point." Finally someone gets it!
Good story, I dont particularly like anti-human themed stories but this one is an exception. Good job! I hope when he explains humans to the ponies he isnt too harsh! Make sure to have him mention good stuff too!
Wow, only out a day and I have 13 people tracking it. Pretty cool. I made a couple minor adjustments to the first chapter, like adding Davis' age, (he's 19) and a couple spelling and grammatical corrections.
Oh by the way, commenting is appreciated. Props to Jiropracter. Explaining humans to the ponies was something I was thinking about how to do, mostly because I wanted to do it right, and I suppose I can add a bit of history, people like Mother Teresa and other good humans, but it's mostly going to be about how people like that are few and far between . Now I've already mentioned in the story about the "legend" of humans, and how they might NOT want to bring one to Equestria, so Davis, who is ticked off at the whole of his species, will be giving mostly a negative opinion of humanity. As for how this started, I read a bunch of HiE fics, and they normally go from, "I'm emo life sucks." To "OMG ponies I love everything!" in like 2 chapters. There wasn't ever really an internal struggle. This is going to be about someone with a buckload of pain and heartache trying to overcome it. There will be a bunch of philisophical stuff in it, but nothing too confusing.
One thing that kills this fic and made it so I couldn't read it.
You don't use paragraph breaks.
Whenever someone new speaks or does an action, you are supposed to put it in a new paragraph.
You do something like (He jabbed me in the shoulder with a scalpel, twisting it around before pulling it out. My screams of pain seemed to be like music to his ears. "Now then, heal yourself." "This is illegal, you assaulted me, kidnapped me, and now you're running experiments on me? Soon as the police get here you're going to jail." He jabbed me again. "Idiot, who do you think owns the police, who do you think controls the government? We do! We have money, and the world runs on money. people can be bought, officials can be bribed. Myself and the 3 on those screens can do whatever we want!" He was laughing maniacally now. "So, I am your friend for years, and I give you an extra year of life, and this is how you repay me? What happened to 'making amends'?" He stabbed my chest, missing anything vital, but making it hurt like hell. "I only wanted to make things right because I though i was going to die. Who cares about the afterlife if I'm never going to go? If you aren't going to heal yourself, then I guess I'm just going to have to kill you. Then my eggheads can run tests on every single piece of you!" That idiot. As soon as I said immortality, he had forgotten completely about how it's a trade off, how something has to be lost in order to gain. I was indoors, so there weren't any plants, and the dumbass locked me in a sealed laboratory, without bacteria. Richards associates were in other countries most likely, only here through the screen. So it was just me and him. He stabbed me in the neck, severing my jugular. Fine, I'll take part in his little demonstration. He is going to kill me, I might as well make him pay for what he's done.)
It should be (He jabbed me in the shoulder with a scalpel, twisting it around before pulling it out.
My screams of pain seemed to be like music to his ears.
"Now then, heal yourself."
"This is illegal, you assaulted me, kidnapped me, and now you're running experiments on me? Soon as the police get here you're going to jail."
He jabbed me again. "Idiot, who do you think owns the police, who do you think controls the government? We do! We have money, and the world runs on money. people can be bought, officials can be bribed. Myself and the 3 on those screens can do whatever we want!" He was laughing maniacally now.
"So, I am your friend for years, and I give you an extra year of life, and this is how you repay me? What happened to 'making amends'?"
He stabbed my chest, missing anything vital, but making it hurt like hell. "I only wanted to make things right because I though i was going to die. Who cares about the afterlife if I'm never going to go? If you aren't going to heal yourself, then I guess I'm just going to have to kill you. Then my eggheads can run tests on every single piece of you!"
That idiot. As soon as I said immortality, he had forgotten completely about how it's a trade off, how something has to be lost in order to gain. I was indoors, so there weren't any plants, and the dumbass locked me in a sealed laboratory, without bacteria. Richards associates were in other countries most likely, only here through the screen. So it was just me and him. He stabbed me in the neck, severing my jugular. Fine, I'll take part in his little demonstration. He is going to kill me, I might as well make him pay for what he's done.)
Please correct this mistake as soon as you can so your fic will be readable.
Ahh thank you Nightgazer. I do have a tendancy to ramble. Thank you for the input. I shall correct this, as well as the previous chapters post haste. And I will keep it in mind for future chapters.
I'm really surprised by how the main character uses his powers. It doesn't feel at all like you needed to limitate him to advance the story, which writers often do with these characters to make the baddies seem more threatening.
Looking forwards to future chapters
179506 That's the thing. His powers are pretty much based on what he has around him. In an abandoned park, he's rather weak, but in a massive city, he's pretty much unkillable. However, the fact that it's always a trade off means he has to be responsible. He could get ripped to shreds by a machine gun, and if he can't find the shooter, he has to decide whether to kill off innocent civilians in order to stay alive, or to take it himself. His power is pretty much unlimited, but he has to choose to use it, and the moral choice wears on his psyche. There will also be situations where he might not have access to them. One thing I HATE about some fics is when they basically make the character Jesus in a Gundam, and throw balance and sensibility out the window. While his powers are incredible, they are all of the same nature, and that is life manipulation, and they do have their limitations which will be explained hopefully in chapter 4. I don't think I'll write chapter 4 today though. Today is mostly me handling the fic's reception, taking suggestions, pooling ideas. While I wrote the first 3 chapters all in one day, I had been thinking about it for the week before hand, and while I do have many scenes already thought out, (including the ending) I'm still thinking about how to string them together, what order to put them in, and many of the other scenes I haven't thought of.
Reading the first and second chapters was interesting. Got to agree with ya, human beings are selfish creatures. Sure there are a few good apples, but even they will do whatever it takes to achieve their goals if they must. If the goal is to live forever then any human being would kill their own family or someone else to get it, we strive to live forever cause we so fear death. To die is to be reminded that we are mortal creatures, and humans like to think they are immortal and above all laws and morals.
But thats just me. Love the fic so far. Very interesting power davis got.
Alright, I get what you are aiming at, and I believe it too, but your getting on to MAN! Territory.
Awesome!!
You know...if you fixed the walls of text this might be a good story.
3543647
GOD DAMNIT I QUIT!
If you wish I can slowly edit/ rewrite this, and send you my version. (it kinda needs it) And duh would he get attention, most guns are illegal here. (although one of my friends' crazy father seems to not mind that fact. He's a really nice and friendly guy, just a nut) I hope you know that only the north is wilderness, eh. The east is plains then rainforest then mountains. The west is fishing towns and islands. Lastly, southern ontario is trees and people. Nunavut is fuck all. Just a bit of geographical info you may or may not know.
That was awsum
218185
That is what we call a cynical world view