scootaloos wish

by Derpylicious

chapter 1

"Scoots! Scoots!" Rainbow Dash gasped shaking the filly awake "Come on! We'll be late!"

The tired filly opened her eyes, blinking in the harsh light she was exposed to. "Dash! I think your more exited than me!" she yawned, rubbing her eyes.

"First day at flight school Scoots! I knew you would do me proud..." Rainbow Dash had tear's in her eyes, a rare sight for anypony.

"Oh come on I'll be fine! nothing bad will happen,why do you think it would? so stop crying!" giggled Scootaloo misunderstanding the crying.

"No, its good crying, it's liquid pride, I have waited so long for this moment, and now its here!" dash said smiling with glee.

"Well, I need to go to a good school if I will be a wonderbolt. they don't want some badly educated idiot on the team, they need someone intelligent like me!" scootaloo stated, now full rainbow dash mode.

Rainbow dash relaxed hooves behind her head and laughed "Oh your so clever, ok squirt, spell princess mi amore kenza..." Rainbow dash instructed, a smug look on her face. a face that told scootaloo she was about to get owned.

"Umm... well there's p-r-i-n-c-e-s-s, uhh... m-i.." she paused and looked at Rainbow, who was struggling not to laugh.

"You. Are. Evil..."

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"Got your bag scoots?" smiled a ecstatic Rainbow Dash.

"Yes I have, where are Sweetie and Applebloom ?" scootaloo twisted her head to both sides of her looking fore her friends, who where going to wave her off. Then two colourful, galloping spots, came into scootaloo's view. They then raced at the orange pegasus and pulled her her into a group hug.

"Gunna, miss ya Scoots" smiled Applebloom, who was sounding more and more like Applejack each day.

"Yeah, we all will, and be careful now..." started Sweetie Belle "I hear some off the stallions there-" Rainbow gave Sweetie Belle the look she gave Rarity when she was about to gossip, "ANYWAY!, bye Scoots , I love you!"

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When they arrived at the flight school Rainbow stood awkwardly at the gates, looking around her then she gave in, and hugged scootaloo, and gave her that little snuffle that she gave tank, when she was feeling affectionate.

"be good, kid." Rainbow said holding back as many tears as manageable. scootaloo yet again hugged dash, and set off to school, for her first day.

Rainbow shouted after her, "BE GOOD, I LOVE YOU, LITTLE SIS!"

for Scootaloo if was the perfect start to what should have been the best day ever

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Author's Note:

this fic is for my best friends Jennifer and aga, they truly taught me friendship is magic!

Comments

[IceQB]

Hii there xD looks like you need some editing grammatically :P but other then that, keep writing. You'll do good kid

[Rainbow87dash]

"Scoots! Scoots!" Rainbow Dash gasped shaking the filly awake "Come on! We will be late!"

Ok which one sounds better?
"We will be late!"
Or
"We'll be late!"

Try to make your dialogue flow better than it is, coz it won't sound right if it doesnt, but thats about the only mistake I saw in this apart from-

"Oh come on I will be fine! nothing bad will happen!" giggled Scootaloo misunderstanding the crying.
"No, its good crying, it's liquid pride, I have waited so long for this moment, and now its here!" dash said smiling with glee.

Why would Rainbow Dash say that if Scootaloo never asked? also

"Oh come on I will be fine! nothing bad will happen!"

another part where the dialogue doesn't flow right, "Oh come on I'll be fine! nothing bad will happen! (so stop crying!) "

anyway I'm gonna fave this and see where it goes