* * *
BOOK TWO
NO MARE'S LAND
* * *
CHAPTER ELEVEN - BAD PUDDING
"We are not bound for ever to the circles of the world, and beyond them is more than memory.” - J.R.R. Tolkien
I never dreamt of Trottica again. I didn’t dream of the Wasteland at all. Not for a little while anyway. You’d think that would be a relief, but it wasn’t. Not after the way I was yanked away from my friends – away from Twinkle Eyes.
When I got back from the Wasteland the first time, a little piece of me had been left behind. I could kinda sorta catch glimpses of what was going on, (and doodle on construction paper to figure out the rest). But now the mission was over with. Done. There were no hints. No clues. No pictures in my head. Nothing.
Strawberry Lemonade was safe at last, and that was all that fucking mattered apparently.
I opened my eyes. Just barely. It was like staring straight up into the Sun.
“Twinkle,” I moaned, and shut them again.
My voice sounded like it was a million miles away. But my throat felt real up close, like it was full of broken glass.
There were other voices all around me. Panicked voices. Excited voices. I couldn’t quite place them. It sounded like echoes on the other end of a long hallway. I forced my eyes open and grunted. Somepony must have noticed, because they clutched my hoof in reply.
“Rose Petal,” she said. It sounded sweet – laughing and crying at the same time.
The sound split my head open like a great big old hammer made out of all-that-is-loud-in-this-world, but it was still a voice that was good to hear.
“Roseluck?” My voice creaked.
“Get over here, get over here, get over here!” Yapped a voice that sounded like Cliff Diver’s.
The sound of urgent hoof-clopping followed. It shook me so much that I forced my eyes open again, as much as I hated it.
“Whu?” I said.
The walls were bare. No Sapphire Shores poster, no toys, no construction paper doodles. Nada. In a moment of stupid panic, I thought my room had been packed away – that Roseluck had fretted over me one too many times, and decided that she was sick of it. Sick of me. But her joyous relief and giddy hug told me that that was a stupid thing to think.
That annoying hoof-clopping sound gathered closer around me, and with it, a smug murmur followed. The kinda sound that only a gaggle of doctors could ever make. I was in a hospital.
Bleep-bleep. Bleep-bleep.
I hate hospitals.
“Rose Petal, can you hear me?” A condescending voice.
It was a doctor. I hate doctors.
“How many hooves am I holding up?” He shoved a single hoof in my face.
“Shut up,” I groaned.
Cliff Diver snickered. When I squinted, I could finally see him.
“What are you doing here?” I wasn’t trying to be rude. I was just confused.
Cliff frowned and hid behind his mane.
“Sweetie, I need you to tell me how many hooves I’m holding up,” the doctor sang.
“Too many,” I said.
I looked past the army of lab coats, “Thanks for coming, Cliff...”
“...Mumble mumble mumble,” I added for good measure.
“Anytime,” he chuckled and chewed on his blue hair.
“Rose, you’re in the hospital,” said my sister as she squeezed my good hoof again.
“I know.”
“Do me a favor and answer the geese, okay?”
My brain snapped wide awake. Just for a moment. I’d completely forgotten! When I was very young, Mom used to call doctors that. Geese. It was all the white coats. The way they followed the Mama Doctor around, taking notes. The tight little clusters they made as they wandered the hospital doing their rounds. Sometimes she dubbed them silly geese if she thought they were being particularly annoying.
Answer the geese. I had to hoof it to Roseluck. She always knew just what to say. I looked to her and nodded.
“One hoof,” I told the doctor.
He smiled. All his little doctor goslings scribbled in their notepads.
“But you already knew that, didn’t you?” It hurt like crazy to talk, but I just couldn’t resist mouthing off. “You seem like a smart guy.”
One of the goslings brought a hoof to his mouth to cover up his smirk. The rest of them just scribbled sternly.
“Hehehe," Mama Goose forced out a joyless chuckle, and looked to my sister. “You’ve got a spunky one on your hooves. That’s good.”
I hated him. Hated his guts. I didn’t go to Hell and back, destroy a town full of filly-slavers, and watch my own best friend die in my hooves to have some dope talk down to me when I got back, just because he was a grown-up with a big fat fancy degree.
“So Rose Stem,” Mama Goose continued.
“Rose Petal,”
He lit up his horn, levitated his clipboard and murmured to himself.
“Can you tell me what happened to your hoof?”
“It’s Evil," I said dryly.
A long uncomfortable silence followed. Nothing but the whirring of some unseen machinery on the other side of the room, and the shrill chirps of my own medical bleep-a-majig.
“I see,” said the doctor.
Bleep-bleep. Bleep-bleep.
“Ms. Roseluck,” said Mama Goose. “I’d like to talk with you in private please.”
He paced all the way around to the other side of my bed, and went right up to Roseluck.
Cliff and I looked at one another in confusion. How exactly was standing right next to me supposed to be “in private”? It seemed to make perfect sense to Mama Goose, though. He just pretended like I wasn’t there.
The flock of goslings migrated around the bed to be with him. One tall blue mare in a white coat tripped on the wheel of my hospital bed mid-yawn.
“Ms. Roseluck, your sister is going to be fine. The results came back from last week’s tests…”
“Last week?!”
No. That couldn’t be right. It was just tea!
The doctor grunted. Roseluck looked over his shoulder and nodded at me with a shrug. It really had been a whole week. She held up an apologetic hoof. She knew I was freaking out, but she was also trying to get answers out of the goose.
I glanced at Cliff Diver who just kinda shrugged and tip-hooved over to me 'till he was standing right by my side, where the goslings had perched just a few moments before.
“How do you feel?”
“Fantastic,” I said dryly.
Cliff snorted and ran his hoof through his ratty, tangled-up mane. Either he’d had a terrible accident involving an egg-beater and a drum of paste, or the poor bastard hadn’t slept.
“Have you been here all week?” I groaned.
“Well, sorta," he said. “Not all week, I mean, mostly…”
“Thanks," I said.
He smiled. After a long silence, he tapped my shoulder to get my attention even though I was already right next to him and already looking in his direction.
“Yes?”
“Did you save the kid you saw?” He whispered.
“I-I don’t know.” I thought about it. “I think I might have. I can’t be sure.”
“Oh.” He scratched his head.
Bleep-bleep. Bleep-bleep.
“What about the girl in the drawing?”
“She’s fantastic,” I said, venom on my tongue.
The whole damn Universe would just shrivel up and die if Strawberry Fucking Lemonade wasn’t safe.
“Oh,” said Cliff. “Well, that’s good, I guess.”
I looked down. He was touching the Bad Hoof. The moment I realized he was doing it, I yanked my whole leg away. Covered it with a blanket. I moved so suddenly that Cliff jumped back. And left me huddling there. Like a huddley...huddling...thing. Cliff made a point of putting his hoof on mine. Unwrapping it from the blanket, and just holding it to show he wasn't afraid.
Like Twinkle had.
“Thanks,” I whispered meekly.
I was not about to get caught crying in front of all these other ponies, so I just shut my eyes - drifted for a while.
* * *
Twink was gone. Actually gone. Every time I tried to rest, that fact just came creeping out of my chest to kick me in the brain. Twinkle Eyes was dead.
I’m not sure how long I lay there with my eyes shut. Wading through hazy memories, kicking myself for every single one.
I hated myself for judging Twink when she’d kicked the Nurse’s ass. I hated myself for throwing that stupid tantrum over the last healing potion - getting her all worked up and worried. How many times had I allowed Twinkle to stop everything and comfort me? She had even held my hoof right before she got shot. Told me to fucking swim when she should have been paying attention.
I was afraid of the dark like a pathetic little foal. Twink didn’t even see the pony who shot her because of me. She should've been blowing every last one of those cockmuffins away. Why couldn’t she have just smacked me and told me to quit being such a wuss? Why the fuck did Twink have to be so kind? I ran it over in my head a thousand times. She died cause she took her eye off the ball. There was no way around it. It all lead to one terrible conclusion.
“I killed her,” I whispered faintly.
The Most Horrible Friend Ever To Walk Equestria. Even Priestess Happy Sad was better. She, at least, had stood by her cloak. Loyal to the very end.
Clonk! As I swam through random memories of Twinkle, I hit one that physically hurt. Like a 2x4 to the head.
“Nopony picks on my friends,” Twinkle had said.
What?
“You’re my friend. And you’re picking on yourself. And if I ever catch you doing it again, I’m gonna kick your ass.”
I stared at the Twink in my head as she boiled with rage. Even through veils of memory, that little girl was still scarier than fire.
“Nopony picks on my friends. Nopony.”
Twink had a point. I hadn't killed her. I’d done everything right. It was Fate.
I mean that not in the serene “it was meant to be,” kinda way, but in the, “if I could condense all that mystical mumbo-jumbo tossing me through space and time, stick it into one pony - something with a body and a face - I would have shot the fucker with one of those giant battle saddles, and set the body on fire” kinda way. And I’d have had the right.
I’d been used.
The more I let that realization ferment, the more I finally started to understand Twinkle’s slave rage. I was not my own pony. I was a puppet. I didn't even know who or what was standing above the strings, but it was fucking heartless. The Way It’s Supposed to Happen was nothing more than a twisted joke. The idea of doing any more dream favors for It made me sick to my empty little stomach. But the shadows were coming for me, and all that Fate Junk was gonna end up getting involved all over again. I didn’t have any choice at all. It pissed me the fuck off.
* * *
With a sigh, I pulled my eyes open. There was Cliff, sitting right by my side. Watching. Fretting over what he could do to help. The answer of course, was nothing, but there he was just the same. That was worth, at the very least, a smile.
“I’m glad you’re here,” I said.
He nodded and crooked his cheeks into a faint little smile - right back at me.
“How long have you been here?” I asked him.
“A while,” he replied sheepishly.
I licked my lips. Dry as dust.
“Don’t your parents mind?”
“Naw,” he boasted. “They’re cool about this sorta thing.”
“This happen to your friends a lot?” I snorted meekly.
“All the time,” he rolled his eyes.
“What about Miss Cheerilee?”
Cliff Diver froze in place like a deer in the woods. He said one word. “Oooh!” And was off. Bolted right out the door. I was left lying there - just sort of drowsy and confused. He couldn’t possibly have forgotten about school for an entire week!
I turned my head and groaned. On the other side of me, the doctor was still yammering science at my sister.
“Science, science, science, science, science, science, science,” said Mama Goose.
“But what about science, science, science, science, science, science, science?” Snapped Roseluck.
Mama Goose grimaced. Roseluck had science’d right back at him. She was always that kinda smart. I was not. I couldn't even figure out how to keep my gums from itching. Out of the whole giant buffet o' pain that was my body, that stupid itch was the one thing that my brain decided to go hog wild, and really feast upon.
So fucking annoying! I tongued at it while the grown-ups blah blah blah'd their science crap.
One of the goslings turned to face me at last. A green colt with a pink mane. RX notepad for a cutie mark.
“How you holding up, champ?”
I groaned in confusion and smacked my crusty old lips. He can’t possibly be talking to me. If I could have, I would’ve looked over my shoulder to see what was going on. Instead, I just sorta shifted my eyes.
“Um…okay,” I groaned.
“Science, science, science, science,” said Mama Goose.
“Oh!” Whispered the kind young doctor. “Well, hang in there.” He winked at me in a hurry, and went back to scribbling notes.
Then more silence. So much for that.
I wasn’t aware of much of anything going on around me 'till I caught a couple of words that I actually understood.
“The pain in her hoof was caused by cellular damage,” said the doctor. “Oddly enough, it resembled the opening stages of frost bite.”
My heart skipped a beat. That shadowy cockface gave me frost bite.
“What?!” Said Roseluck.
“Oh, no, no, no. Calm down, Miss. We can save the leg.”
Save the leg?! It had never even occurred to me that I was in any danger of losing it.
Roseluck snapped. She had an entire anxiety attack in the span of a few seconds. I could see it. And when it was up, she lunged up at the doctor and stared him down – eyeball-to-eyeball.
“What.” She backed him into a literal corner until he had no place to go but down. “Is wrong. With my sister’s. Leg?!”
“Nothing. Nothing. Medically, she’s fine!” He pleaded desperately, a thousand breaths a minute. “She’ll make a full recovery.”
“Geez!” Roseluck sighed relief, her old self again.
When Rose got mad, it was terrifying. But she couldn’t hold on it too long.
“Then why didn’t you say so?”
“Well,” the doctor laughed nervously. “It’s a funny thing…”
He looked over and suddenly noticed all the little goslings snickering at him, and snapped back to attention like a member of the Royal Guard.
“Ahem," he cleared his throat with authority - Big Mama Goose once again. “While her hoof is not necrotic…”
Roseluck was on edge again.
“...And there’s absolutely nothing medically wrong with it,” the doctor added in a hurry. “It’s still black, and shows no signs of regaining coloration, even though tests confirm that it’s almost completely healed.”
“I don’t understand," said my sister.
“Ms. Roseluck, I’m afraid that that leg is just plain Evil.”
Hospital silence. Even the sound of pencil scribbling stopped. The whole room was nothing but a pool of dull whirring sounds, and that old familiar bleep-bleep, bleep-bleep. One-by-one, the goslings’ heads turned to my direction. Two-by-two, all eyes were on me. I waved at them with my Hoof O' Evil.
“Heh-heh," I laughed nervously. I hated being belle of the ball.
“Guess what?!” Cliff darted back into the room with a smile and a crash.
He was waving a giant piece of oak tag that left a cloud of glitter behind it wherever it went.
“The whole class made you a card!”
He flashed the sort of grin that squeaked, but the room was still somber and quiet.
“What?” He asked innocently.
* * *
By the time the geese finally left us all alone, I felt like my brain had been pounded down flat like some kinda brain-dough. I wanted to crawl into a hole somewhere and simply cease to exist, but I didn’t have that luxury. The hospital was fresh out of holes.
I opened my eyes and turned to Roseluck. “There are no do-overs, are there?”
She shook her head 'no.'
I nodded solemnly, and stared off into space for Luna-only-knows how long.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Asked Cliff.
I shook my head 'no.' How could I possibly explain what had happened? Where would I even begin?
No way, I said to myself firmly. The shadow thing was coming - at least I thought it might. I had to cut straight to business. Any other train of thought just sent me careening down Memory Lane anyway. Face first into a 2x4 of Guilt from Dream Twinkle. Nopony talks that way about my friends.
“Cliff,” I groaned. “Is the library open yet?”
“Yeah. The dragon wouldn’t send the letter.”
“Figures. What about books on zebras?”
“A couple of rare plant books by zebras - nothing about them.”
“Ooh, I should check those out,” said Roseluck, always the plant enthusiast.
“But I got the next best thing!”
Cliff rummaged through a saddlebag full of candy wrappers and crumpled up old assignments. Finally he produced a notebook.
“Miss Cheerilee said we could do our Hearth’s Warming Eve assignment together so you don’t fall behind.”
He flipped the book to a sketch of the Equestrian flag and shoved it in front of me.
“What do you see there?”
“The flag.”
“A Sun Alicorn and a Moon Alicorn.”
“Like I said: The flag.”
I messed with that sore spot in my gums some more.
Cliff stared at me. “This flag was made at Equestria's founding. Hearth's Warming. Long before Princess Celestia and Luna!”
He beamed a bright, enthusiastic smile. I turned to Roseluck as he passed his notebook over to her. She examined it closely.
“I never thought about it before,” she said. "You're right."
“Maybe the flag we use is just wrong," I said. “Like all our pageants are just bad history or something.”
“No!” He snatched the book out of Roseluck’s hooves.
“Excuse me?” She said with polite indignance.
“Ssh, he’s on a roll," I whispered.
“I checked it out! I did my research,” said Cliff. “Twilight Sparkle even dug up some bound copies of old records and stuff. The flag is older.”
Bleep-bleep. Bleep-bleep, Bleep-bleep. Hospital silence.
“You think somepony like Rose Petal might have seen it in their dreams?” She leaned forward with interest.
“And leaked a spoiler,” I added.
The smile fell from Cliff Diver's face. He scratched at his chin.
“I suppose that would explain it too.”
He rummaged a pencil out of his bag, frantically whipped some pages around, scribbling notes here and there, and everywhere.
“Nope,” said Cliff at last, snapping his notebook closed. “My explanation is way better.”
He went back to rummaging - spilling trinkets and peanut shells and homework assignments from last year everywhere. Roseluck tensed up at the sight of it – always the neat freak.
“Are you okay?” She asked.
“Yes,” he said, sticking his tongue out as he dug. “See, I’ve been reading up – the kind of books you don’t see in the library.”
Roseluck and I glanced at each other with raised eyebrows.
“They’re afraid of the truth,” he continued.
“Out with it,” I said.
“A ha!” Cliff Diver dug out the book he had apparently been looking for.
He shoved it in my face. Literally.
“Other Worlds and You: Applications of Interdimensional Theoretical Physics in the Everyday World,” I read the cover out loud. “By Professor Science? What is this?”
“Let me see that,” said Roseluck.
As I passed it to her, Cliff yanked more books out of the bottom of his bag. Papers spilled over onto the hospital floor. They strew themselves over the tiles like cedar chips in a hamster cage.
Piercing the Veil
Searching for Otherworld
Lower the Moon – Fluctuations in the Celestio-Lunar Balance Field – A Dialectic Analysis of How Nightmare Moon Tore a Hole in the Fabric of Existence.
All by 'Professor Science.'
“Careful with that last one," said Cliff. “It’s rare. The Professor’s first published book. A thesis. A bit more academic than the rest.” He beamed.
“Ummm okay,” I said. “What are you getting at?”
“Alright, here’s what I figure. You ready?”
“I’m all ears,” said Roseluck, genuinely curious, even if not exactly a believer.
I have to admit, I was curious too. Cliff Diver’s enthusiasm was adorable and, in its own way, kinda contagious.
“The flag was the symbol of the union of the pony races. A symbol of friendship and unity and stuff. You follow?”
“Yes.”
“When Discord reigned, millions and millions and millions of ponies were in misery, right? They looked to that symbol for hope. Thought about unity and stuff. And all those thoughts rolled together and blasted across Universes all the way to some other world like one of those comic book superhero symbols shining in the sky.
'And, um...in those dimensions, the rules are maybe different – like all sorts of things are real there that can’t be real here. And the two alicorns came to Equestria when they were needed the most, from the distant Magical Land of Awesome 'cause of all that hope energy and stuff.
Another one of those show-stopping tooth-grins.
But we replied only with stunned silence.
Hospital silence. Bleep-bleep. Bleep-bleep. Bleep-bleep. Bleep-bleep.
It’s no wonder he believed my crazy story about dreaming my way into the future. Cliff was out of his bucking mind.
“This is what Professor, um…Science says?” Roseluck hooved through one of the books.
“No! This is my discovery!” He squeaked. “Applying the principles Professor Science wrote about in Chapter 17 of the book you’re holding.”
“Of course,” said Roseluck.
“Cliff?” I asked nervously. “Is this what our Hearth’s Warming Eve report is going to be about?”
“No, no, no, no, no," he said.
“They’re not ready for the truth." Cliff winked at me. "...Well, not all of it anyway." A tight little chuckle escaped Cliff's nervously-clenched teeth. 'Cause he totally had turned in a paper all about alien alicorns. A paper with my name on it.
“Ok, Cliff," I said. “Can you do me a huge favor?”
Time to get down to business. I didn’t know how much energy I had left to think, or to strategize, or even to talk.
“Anything,” he replied.
“Can you go back to the library, and find a way to look up the address of a colt named Misty Mountain?”
“Who’s that?”
“A friend. He lives in Fillydelphia. We’ve got a lot of figuring-out-of-things to do and I think he might be able to, you know, get us some answers.”
That pierogie-eating douche had info about the shadows. I could smell it on him. He seemed to know his way around the Wasteland pretty damn good too. I didn’t really have a plan, or even an idea of what I hoped to find out from him, but Misty was still my best and only lead.
I was gonna track him down if it killed me.
“Ummm…okay.” Cliff lowered his eyes.
“What’s wrong?”
“Well,” he laughed nervously. “It’s kinda awkward.”
“What?”
“I was so excited about my discovery that I kinda shared it with Twilight Sparkle before I could prove it, and she kinda...well, she didn’t mean to be discouraging, but she shoved a bunch of ‘real science’ books at me.”
Cliff put his hooves up in the air and made quotation marks of contempt.
“You’re a kid,” said Roseluck. “You can get away with it. I’m sure you’re welcome back there anytime.”
“Besides,” I said. “What’s the point of being a weirdo if you’ve got to be ashamed of it all the time?”
“I’m a weirdo?”
Sad eyes of doom.
"Yeah.” I shrugged, though my shoulders felt like rocks. “But don't worry. You get used to it.”
* * *
Hospital hours are long. I needed real rest. But exhausted as I was, that kinda beauty sleep just wasn’t gonna happen. It felt a lot like that cage room in the Trottica Town Hall basement. You spend so much time drifting out of bad sleep, that night and day start to blur together into a sort of terrible pudding, and before you know it, you can’t even tell the difference between a couple of hours and a couple of weeks anymore.
But Cliff and Rose were there a real long time. Whenever I opened my eyes, boom! There they were. Haggard. Tired. Cheerily supportive.
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Roseluck filling out paperwork, chewing on her mane as she wrote. I knew that face. She was worried about making ends meet. You know, boring grown-up stuff.
“Hay there,” I groaned.
Like a kid caught red-handed doodling during class, her hooves casually drifted over her lap to cover up the papers.
“When’s the last time you sold any flowers?” I cut to the chase.
“The flowers are fine,” she said, patting my hoof. “We’re fine.”
“I’m not stupid.” I let that sink in. “That a big order?” I glanced at her lap.
“Don’t worry, I’ll--;”
“Looks big,” as I spoke, it sounded like there was some kind of frog jamboree in my throat.
“It is,” Roseluck sighed. “It’s a wedding. I wish I--;”
I held up my hoof, all dangley with wires and tubes and stuff.
“Do it,” I said.
“What?”
“Go home. Get your flower on. Come back. I’ll be fine,” I lied through my itchy teeth.
I would rather rot there alone and afraid than be responsible for the family downfall.
“Zzznnnnngggggg...” Cliff Diver was on the floor to my right, snoring up a storm.
“No, really,” said Roseluck. “It’s not that bad. Besides, what would you have me do? Just leave you here?”
“Do the wedding. You’ll be able to afford to take off later,” I said with a perky smile.
“Who cares about taking off later? You need me now.”
“But I’m gonna need you , later," I said.
My connection to the Wasteland might have been gone, but there was more apocalypse drama on the horizon. I could feel it in my bones.
“You know,” I added with a smirk. “In case something serious happens with all this Wasteland stuff.”
“Something serious?!” She snapped.
Grown-ups have no sense of humor.
“You almost died!”
“Oh, yeah. That.” The old guilt-knife was twisting in my sides.
Roseluck shook her head at me. “Do you even care?”
Suddenly Twink’s words in my head all over again. Do I even care? It was a low blow, and my sister didn’t even know it.
“Sorry,” I whimpered.
“Cause I do," said Roseluck. "I care.”
I couldn’t take it anymore. The whole dam broke and I was left lying there sobbing. Heaving. Wheezing. Wailing inarticulately. You can only push your whiny piratetry aside for so long before it sneaks up on you and explodes. Then explodes again. It can do that.
Rose didn’t say a word. She just sat there, let me get it aaaall out of my system, and pumped out tissues at me whenever I reached for them. Then, when it was over, she said, “Need more?”
I shook my head.
A calm silence followed. Then my sister looked down at me with great big eyes and pleaded. “I have your back, Rose Petal. You know that.”
I nodded.
“So does that lump over there.”
Cliff Diver was still asleep on the floor. “Zzzzzzzzznnnggg!”
“Thanks,” I sniffed.
“But enough is enough. You have to meet me halfway.”
I frowned. I was kinda hoping that, if nothing else, breaking down into a great big blubbering mess would have a silver lining, and that I’d get a little space.
“You know you’re not protecting us with this ‘everything’s fine’ stuff.” She gripped my hoof in desperation. “Come on. What the buck is going on?”
Bleep-bleep. Bleep-bleep.
Roseluck never cursed. In Ponyville, 'buck' was the closest thing we had. It made me stop for a second just to make sure that I’d heard her right. Then I thought on what she'd said. Twink had hated it when I acted all secretive like this – when I tried to be a one-mare army. Roseluck hated it too apparently. I couldn’t stand the stress of talking about Trottica - not so soon anyway - but no matter how I tossed it around in my brain, it’s what Twinkle Eyes would have wanted me to do.
“Alright,” I said at last. “But you gotta do your flowers.”
Roseluck considered it. I could see the gears turning in her brain.
“I can handle myself,” I said firmly and calmly.
I survived Trottica. I survived the Priestess. I survived the fucking shadow. I could be left alone in the hospital for a day or two.
Roseluck took a deep breath. Shut her eyes.
“I swear, sometimes..." she grumbled. “...Alright. Deal.”
“Cupcake?” I said.
“You drive a hard bargain.”
“In the eye, or the deal’s off.”
We both brought our hooves to our faces and made the appropriate gesture. When I lowered my hoof, she was staring at me. Waiting.
Oh, yeah. Time to fulfill my end of the bargain. I gulped. It hurt.
“I think—“ I started to tell her, but didn’t have the courage to finish my thought. Instead I just sort of drifted off and stared into space. “Whatever’s happening,” I said at last. “Whatever’s going on – it’s gonna get worse.”
I examined my Evil Hoof. It was inky. Still a little bit cold even. It felt wrong. Just plain wrong. The damn thing terrified me.
“When you dreamt your way through time, you know, all that Pona Lisa stuff, did you ever meet anything not-entirely-pony? Like, made out of shadows and stuff?"
I finally looked Roseluck in the eye. She just sort of shook her head slowly. She was as confused as ever.
“I’m sorry," I said softly. “I think I might have brought something back with me.”
“A not-entirely-pony?”
I nodded.
“Made out of shadows?”
I nodded again. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
“But how?”
“It was, um…” I thought back to my experience in the tunnel. The fear. The helplessness. The guilt. “…Inside my head,” I said with a whimper.
Roseluck, like me, is a cream-colored pony. When she realized what I meant, she turned marshmallow white.
“Do you still feel it?” Tremors in her voice.
I thought hard. Felt around inside. (If that makes any sense). “Hmmm. No, not a trace,” I said at last.
If anything, it was too quiet. The shadow was nowhere near us. But it was still watching somehow. Just hanging back, waiting. It had to be. I’d seen its thoughts back in the tunnel when we were connected. One way or another, it was coming to Ponyville.
“Something’s wrong," I said. “I can’t figure it out, it’s just...wrong. We don’t have a lot of time.”
“You’re not really making a compelling argument for why I should leave you here.”
“You promised!” I whined.
Roseluck stared me down. She couldn’t go back on a cupcake promise. Not no way. Not nohow. But it still ate her up inside.
“Think of Mr. and Mrs. So-and-So," I smiled. “Could you really deprive them of the best floral arrangement Ponyville has to offer?”
“Lyra and Bon-Bon.”
“Really?”
Roseluck nodded.
“About time.”
“You’re changing the subject.”
“Yup!” I smiled.
She rolled her eyes.
“Look, I’ll be fine, I just--;” my lips stumbled over each other. There were words out there - ones that needed to be said - but they evaded my tongue. And left me with a vague sorta feeling. A silent impulse - not unlike the brain hornets from my dream, except I couldn’t quite put my hoof on it.
“It’s important I do this,” I said. “That you do this.”
Bleep-bleep. Bleep-bleep.
“I’ll miss you," she said.
“Me too,” I sighed. “But I’m in a giant building full of grown-ups, and I can’t even get out of bed to get into any trouble. I’ll be fine.”
She nodded.
I didn’t tell her that I no longer trusted grown-ups. Fact is, I could barely bring myself to tolerate being around anypony taller than me. But that was besides the point.
For a long, long while we just sat there. She held my good hoof. The one with all the tubes and wires sticking out of it.
Finally, she asked, “You wanna tell me about this Twinkle?”
I sighed. “She was the most amazing filly I ever met.”
Roseluck nodded.
For a long time, we just sort of hung there, side by side, my hoof in hers. I didn’t really have anything more to say, and she was done pressing me.
“It’s wrong," she said at last. “Leaving you here like this.”
“I know,” I said, patting her as she finally let go of my hoof. “But you gotta do what you gotta do.”
* * *
I sent Cliff on his way too. I appreciated the support, and liked having them both around, but really, it could only help so much.
“ZZZZzzzznnnnng!” Cliff snored.
Rose actually had to trot back in and kick on him ‘til he rolled over.
“Whu, wuh, wuuhh?” Said Cliff.
"Time to go."
"I really, really, really need you to get that address for Misty Mountain before the library closes again for another stupid wedding or something."
"It was a royal wedding," said Roseluck.
"Pfft!” I said. “I flunked my science project ‘cause of it. They locked up that darn treebrary for a week without warning anypony."
"We did have a whole month to do it," said Cliff. "You should have-;"
"Humph," I said.
"So uh..." Cliff Diver yawned. "Misty Mountain."
"Yes."
He hugged me. "Leaving you here doesn't feel right."
"Would you guys stop with that? Please just get going before the library closes. I'll be fine. Promise."
Not a moment to lose! At least that was the official story. I tried not to think about it, or even admit it, but the more time he spent away from me, the safer Cliff Diver was gonna be. I could just picture his adorkable face covered in mine dust and blood, wincing and gasping like Twinkle had.
No. Not Cliff.
“Are you sure it’ll be okay?” He said to me.
“What?” I froze. "Did I just say my brain-thoughts out loud?"
“I’m worried what Twilight Sparkle will say. She seemed to think I was stupid.”
“You’ll be fine,” I replied. “You’re just looking up an address. Geez! What did she even say to you, anyway?”
“Well, you know how in Chapter 32 of Piercing the Veil, Professor Science writes about how some of these worlds might be so similar to our own, that they might be home to only slightly different-ish versions of ourselves?”
Roseluck and I looked at one another.
“Um...yeah?” I said.
“Well, I was trying to explain how close these Universes are together, right? Because you know, that might make a visit from pan-dimensional alicorns more plausible, right? I mean, that’s totally obvious.”
“Um...yeah," said Roseluck.
"...Totally obvious," I added.
“Well, you know what Twilight did when I told her about all this alternate world stuff? That there was alternate everything. Me, you, her.”
Bleep-bleep. Bleep-bleep. Hospital silence.
“No.”
“She laughed at me! She laughed and she said at me, all sarcastical, ‘Alicorns. Mirror Worlds,'" Cliff did his best Twilight Sparkle impression, which wasn't very good. "’...What next? A world where I grow wings and fly?’” Cliff was mad. I could see him shaking. "She patted me on the head with her hoof and laughed at me. Can you believe that?”
"Pleeeease?" I said. "Misty has answers."
He nodded. Kissed my black hoof like a boo-boo, which, I'll be honest, came as a total surprise. I couldn't even stand the sight of the thing.
"Go on, get outta here," I laughed. "Fly on over to the library before it's too late."
Cliff cringed, and scuttled away shyly before I could figure out what the hell was wrong.
* * *
Rose left right after him. Hugs, kisses, promises to check on me, promises to come back in the morning.
It was the right thing to do - sending them away - the fair thing to do too. But the moment they actually set hoof out the door, I regretted it. I was alone. At my worst.
I lay there for Luna-only-knows how long. It was horribly quiet. Well, hospital quiet. Bleeps and bloops and hoofsteps and commotion.
Eventually, I got bored enough to reach for the giant glittery get well card from my classmates. There was literally nothing else to do.
Get healthier. It’s what you want to do.
From, Scootaloo
They all rhymed. Every last one.
No better friends than you and me,
Your personal idol, Diamond T.
Personal idol. Hard to believe, right?
Diamond Tiara was piggybacking on the class’ sympathy for me to boost her own popularity. A couple of days before, that might have gotten under my hide, but as I lay there, tubes in my veins, and Twink on my mind, nothing could make me care about Diamond T.
I looked over the signatures, the bright colors, and the hearts, and the scribbles, and the little cut-outs that got pasted on. I couldn’t even tell what half of them were supposed to be. It didn’t cheer me up any. If anything, I felt like all those happy children - all those well-wishes - were ten-hundred-million-thousand miles away. It was just so sweet. So innocent. They had everything that the Wasteland had stolen from Twinkle Eyes.
“You know, I wasn’t going to say anything,” came a squeaky little voice off somewhere to my left. “But I’d kill to have friends like yours. The owner of the voice let that sink in for a minute. “Why you wanna shove them away?”
A judgemental judgehead from the Land of Sunshine. Great. I craned my neck as best I could, but saw only curtains, dividing the room in half.
“I’m not shoving them away,” I said. “I wish they were here, but there’s, well, all this stuff that needs to happen.”
I don’t even know why I bothered to answer.
“Oh.” The filly on the other side of the curtain fell silent.
I kicked myself for blah-blah-blah’ing so openly. I hadn’t even asked if we were alone in the room! Cliff’s crazy theories, my mourning Twink, my argument with Rose. I must have looked like a real jerk. I brought my bad hoof to my face. The other one was still covered with tubes and wires.
As I looked at its inky inky blackness, I suddenly realized the sorts of conversations I’d been having. Evil hooves. Dead friends Not-quite-ponies. What else had this kid heard?
“Uh...uh. I don’t wanna bother you,” the voice said, quaking. “But is there a shadow monster after you?” She spoke in whispers. The poor thing had trouble even drawing breath.
Clonk! Clonk! Clonk! Clonk! Clonk! I smacked myself in the head with my bad hoof.
“No,” I said with a sigh. “There’s no such thing as monsters.”
I was so stupid. I’d been so careless!
“Oh. Ok,” said the filly behind the curtain, not terribly reassured.
For a long, long while, the voice was quiet, and I was left again with nothing but my own thinkiness. Bored out of my mind.
Bleep-bleep. Bleep-bleep.
I took a deep breath and sighed again. Curtain Girl was right. I shouldn’t have sent my family away.
I turned to the giant get-well card. I had this image in my head of glitter getting in all of the medical machinery. Sparks flying out. Explosions. The whole nine yards. I almost wished it would happen. Anything would be better than just lying around.
I read all the other passages.
Hope you heal up real, real soon.
Yours in Apples,
Apple Bloom
Underneath it was Cliff Diver’s entry. Dark black writing. The only friend who had actually come to see me. The only message not written in pastel.
You haven’t died, you’re a survivor.
By Your Side,
Cliff Diver
By your side. That part stuck with me. I stared a long while at his scribbley hoofwriting. I didn’t deserve a friend like him.
The giganto page was covered with a whole bunch more notes that barely even rhymed, and a couple of random doodles of Power Ponies and Daring Do.
The last message was Blueberry Milkshake's. “I’m so sorry,” was all she wrote.
That and her name. No rhyme.
It hit me pretty hard. My almost dying had probably hit her pretty hard. She wasn’t my rock like Cliff and Rose were, but that didn’t mean she was heartless. We’d known each other our whole lives. We’d been through a lot together.
I could see her in my head, standing outside the hospital, itching to go inside. She’s always been terrified-edly afraid of hospitals. Who could blame her? I hated them too.
I ran my hoof absent-mindedly over the inside of the card, thinking about her. Blueberry might not have had all that crazy psychotic loyalty that Cliff did, but that’s an unfair comparison. Cliff was unusual. He thought the princesses were aliens. I still cared about Blue, and if my tea poisoning had affected her so bad, I was willing to bet I'd underestimated how hard it had been on everypony else.
I stared at that card. Pressed my hoof against it, for what good it could possibly do. I knew I couldn't reach through that oaktag and stroke Blueberry Milkshake's mane or anything, but still.
Eventually, I noticed a rough patch. The paper under her message felt weird to the touch.
I brought it in for a closer look. Underneath Blueberry Milkshake’s message was something else that she had apparently gone to a lot of effort to cross out. Under some glitter marker paste-ish crusty stuff was something that had been scribbled down frantically. I could only barely make out the words. “PS WE NEED TO TALK.”
It was unsettling.
Why had she written that? Why cross it out?
“Are you sure there aren’t any monsters?” The voice from behind the curtain interrupted.
“Yes,” I snapped.
“Ok. Sorry.”
After another long, awful silence, I gave up. “I’m sorry too,” I said. “I’m lousy company right now.”
“What happened?”
“I don’t really wanna talk about it.”
“Maybe I can help.”
“No offense,” I said. “But I doubt it.”
“Ok.”
Bleep-bleep. Bleep-bleep.
So much time to kill. I actually started reading Professor Science’s nonsensical ramblings just so I'd have something to do. Two chapters into Lower the Moon – Fluctuations in the Celestio-Lunar Balance Field – A Dialectic Analysis of How Nightmare Moon Tore a Hole in the Fabric of Existence, I heard the voice again.
“Rose? That is your name, right?”
“Yeah,” I sighed.
“I’m sorry for your loss," she said.
I closed the book.
I was being a jerk. There was no way around it.
“Thanks,” I replied.
It was good to hear. This girl was sweet. Kind. One of the good ones.
“Listen,” I said. “I’m sorry. I’m going through a lot right now. Can we start again? My name is Rose Petal.”
“Bananas Foster,” she replied.
“I’d shake your hoof right now, but I’m kinda hooked up to a bunch of wires and tubes and stuff like that. I owe you a hoof bump once we’re well enough to get outta bed.”
“No thanks.”
“What? Why not?”
The curtain parted, and I saw a yellow filly. She was actually older than me. A teenager. I’d expected something different from the smallness of her voice, and all that 'no such thing as monsters' stuff, but this girl had to be at least two years older than me. She wasn’t normal.
Her entire corner of the room was surrounded by this weird dome of magic. Almost like a bubble.
The girl lived in a bubble. And she was fragile. Afraid.
“If you touch me, I’ll die," she said.
* * *
Well, damn.
My jaw hung off my face by about a mile.
Pain makes you forget. You say things you wouldn’t ordinarily say. You do things you wouldn’t ordinarily do. (Even us “good ones,” as Twinkle once called me). You just plain forget that there are other things out there besides your pain, and it makes you kind of a dick.
I had been insanely rude to some kid who was living her entire life inside a bubble. The Wasteland had slammed me repeatedly with the harsh reality that what it means to be “good,” is sometimes actually kinda flexible depending on the situation. Slave revolts, violence, all that stuff. Extenuating circumstances. However, I’m pretty sure that, in all the craziness the world has to offer - past, present, or future - the one universal constant in any of it is: don’t be a cockmuffin to the bubble girl.
“Oh, geez! I’m--I’m…” I stammered. “I’m so sorry!”
Bananas Foster closed her eyes, took a deep breath and said, “Stop it.”
“What?”
“I don’t need your pity. I get plenty of that from the ponies who work here.”
“Sorry,” I repeated. “I’m not normally like this, I--;”
I struggled to find the words. Not even to excuse my behavior. Just to explain that this jerkface she was talking to - this cuntwaffle - wasn’t really what I was about.
Bananas just went back to her business. Arranging notes. She didn’t have much room to herself, but inside the weird glowing dome were stacks of books, notebooks, papers, pencils. It was almost like she’d built herself a fortress - an immaculate Fort o’ Knowledge.
“...I don’t feel like myself lately,” I told her.
It sounded like a weak excuse. But if I rambled all of the crazy stuff I was actually thinking, Bananas would just think I was throwing her more sympathy that she absolutely didn’t want. The truth is: I was really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really sorry.
“Who are you?”
“What?”
She just laughed at me. Giggled even. I marveled at how this girl could be stuck in a bubble with nothing but a bunch of books and stuff, and still find the energy to laugh. Still have enough light and hope left to, you know - shine like that.
“If you’re not yourself, then who are you?” Bananas Foster smirked at me. The damn girl knew exactly how cute she was. Her smile was like a little tiny needle stab straight to the heart.
“Somepony I’m not sure I like anymore," I said.
“Oh.” She frowned.
She didn't say much after that. I don’t think either one of us knew what to say.
In the silence that followed, I just lay there like a fool, staring at the ceiling. Counting the cracks.
I thought about Roseluck toiling away over her flowers. Without me. She was worried sick. I bet she fucking hated that.
I thought about Cliff, trying to pry Misty's information out of the town librarian without any talk about alien princesses from another dimension or whatever. I thought about Misty himself. What it might have been like for him. He'd been pretty weirded out by my presence in Trottica. I wondered if he was out there looking for answers too. Looking for me.
I thought about Twink.
“Not for nothing,” said the Girl in the Bubble. “But maybe you’d like yourself again if you didn’t push your friends away so much.”
“What business is it of yours?” I said.
“Hay,” said the girl. “You’re the one whining to me.”
“Am not!”
“Yeah, but you were.”
“I was being totally quiet”
“Yeah, ‘I hate who I've become, by the way, I'm gonna be totally quiet now for six whole minutes. I'm not whining I'm just sitting here and brooding about why I tried to kill myself.’”
Bubble Girl bobbed her head.
“I did not try to kill myself!”
“You ate a half a pound of sedative tea!”
“I was trying to get to sleep in a hurry cause I needed to see Twinkle!”
"The girl who died," she said dryly.
"Yes!" I squeaked.
Bleep-bleep.
I suddenly realized how crazy that sounded. How suicidal.
"Whatever," said the bubble girl. "Some of us are here ‘cause we have to be."
That girl had eyes that burned. She looked right at me and made me feel two inches tall.
“Look, I’m sorry to bring you into my problems. I don’t want to. It’s just complicated, okay?” I yammered. “Quit looking at me like that.”
Burn burn burnitty eyeballs of doom.
“Seriously, stop that.” I averted my eyes.
"You just shouldn't push your friends away like that. You don't like what I gotta say? Fine."
Bleep-bleep. Bleep-bleep.
I faced that cold white ceiling again.
“Roseluck’s business is important, you know? And sometimes, well...you gotta do what you gotta do.”
“That’s a grown-up excuse," said Foster.
She'd backed into a corner. I mean, yeah, she was totally right, but still. It wasn’t that simple. It just wasn’t.
“Stop!" I squeaked. I finally turned to look at her. She was no longer burning. “That's not fair," I added. "Sometimes food-and-work-and-stuff-like-that really does have to come first.”
“Morals follow on?” She said.
Suddenly, the bottom of everything I thought I knew dropped out from underneath me like some kind of sick carnival ride.
“W-what did you say?” I asked with shallow breaths.
Bananas Foster whipped out some old tome covered with protective materials. “The Rise and Fall of the Discordian Empire. You were quoting Dusty Parchment, weren’t you? What he wrote about all those failed rebellions? ‘Food first, morals follow on?’”
Had Priestess Happy Sad read ancient history? Philosophy? Had such knowledge even survived the explosion-y future?
“‘If ye unite without embracing the spirit of friendship, ye have not united at all,’” Bananas read straight out of her book, then started hoofing through it idly for her own pleasure. “Ponies tried for years to take Discord down, you know, but they just kept fighting each other instead. You should read it sometime.”
It’s easy to condemn somepony like the Priestess - somepony capable of persuading others to do such horrible things. But it was pain that had made her that way. Anger. Resentment.
It’s just as easy to condemn all those villagers for buying it hook, line, and sinker. A Way of Life - a whole gift-basket of lies to go with it. Just so they wouldn’t have to face the fact that they were jerkfaces.
But when I hurt bad, I forgot about everypony else too. I had to shut it all out just to keep from hurting some more. Twink's gone, I'd thought. Nothing else matters.
I bit my lip and squeezed my eyes shut. I refused to cry. I didn’t want anypony’s sympathy. Certainly not from some girl in a bubble who had it way worse than I did. The air passed my throat like sandpaper as I tried to choke back my tears in silence.
Food first. Morals follow on? Fuck that. I decided. I’d rather starve. I never felt so disgusted with myself.
“I think I’m gonna be sick,” I whispered.
Bananas started ringing a little bell, calling, “Nurse, nurse, nurse!”
“What? No!” I held up my hoof. “I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine.”
Not that kinda sick.
Moments later, there were three nurses in the room - two mares and a colt - ready to rescue Bananas Foster. She just pointed the second she saw them and sent them over my way instead.
“No, really. Really. I’m fine," I said.
The male nurse came up on one side and started checking the machines and tubes and wires and all that junk. A tall blue mare was next to him, grumbling with a clipboard in her mouth. Nurse Redheart flanked me on the other side.
“What’s wrong, sweetie?” She said.
“I’m fine. Really.”
She looked me over, then back at the nurse opposite her.
“Everything seems alright.” He shrugged.
The tall blue mare just sort of mumbled at me.
"Hay, I know you! You're a gosling!"
“A what?” She said.
“A doctor. I mean, you’re nursing, and doctor...ing.”
“I’ve been a nurse for a few years now, and decided that I wanted to train to --;”
Her voice trailed off into murmurs.
“You what?” The male nurse nudged her.
“Oh, what? What?” She looked at me. “I’ve been a nurse for a few years now, and decided that I wanted to train to be a doctor.”
She started to sway a little.
“Oh.”
The male nurse leaned over me.
“Don’t mind Prescription Pad, she hasn’t slept in a couple of days.”
“Oh,” I whispered.
I liked him. As a rule I like nurses better than doctors. I guess it’s because they actually care for you. Geese don’t do that. They tend to just kinda care at you. I could remember Nurse Redheart staying up all night to help me when I was little - to talk to me - to help my Mom. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that she didn’t have to do that at all. She could have gone home and gotten some sleep.
“You feeling okay?” Said the male nurse.
I lifted up my hoof - all dangling tubes and wires.
“When can I get rid of all this stuff?” I said.
“You haven’t even touched your pudding, honey," said Redheart.
The tray they’d brought me was sitting by my side next to Nursedoctor. The empty spot where Roseluck had sat and watched over me from just a few hours before.
The pudding looked like it sucked.
“If I eat, will you unhook me?”
Nursedoctor said, “No, but it’ll be the first step.”
Once she realized I was fine, Nurse Redheart looked past me straight at Bananas Foster. “What’s all this about?”
“She said she was feeling sick,” Foster answered meekly. “Honest.”
Nurse Redheart turned to her colleague. “Can you take it from here?”
I was already eating the pudding. Yup. Terrible.
The male nurse just nodded while she went over to Bananas Foster. Redheart slowly raised her hoof against the bubble.
“You hang in there, child," she said.
“I will,” Foster replied, bright as sunshine.
The nurse stood there for a short while, watching poor Foster, then perked her ears up and suddenly trotted on out the door in response to some noise from outside.
“I’m coming, I’m coming,” she said.
“You didn’t have to do that, you know?” I said to the girl.
“You said you were sick.” She shrugged.
What's up with her? I never knew a kid to holler for grown-ups so fast. I guess when you’re stuck in a bubble, you get used to calling for every little thing. Or maybe the little things actually were big things to her. I mean, if anypony touched her, apparently, she would die. As I lay there, all grouchy-like, the reality of that smacked me in the face. Had Bananas Foster ever even been hugged?
“Hospitals are no fun,” said the male nurse. “Are they?”
He was sitting beside me in Roseluck’s seat.
“Oh, hi,” I said.
I watched him for a minute as he watched over me.
“It seems like an eternity now,” he said at last. “But you’ll be out of here in no time. Just you wait and see.”
“And Bananas Foster?” I was really worried about her.
He ran his hoof through his mane. “Yeah, um, well…”
Right away, I was sorry I’d asked.
“We’re not allowed to discuss other patients.”
“Oh,” I said.
Bleep-bleep. Bleep-bleep.
“Hay, Nurse?” Said Bananas Foster at long last.
“Yes?”
“It’s Wednesday,” she sang.
“Yes it is. Wait. Oh, gee…” the male nurse just sorta trailed off. “I’m not sure I’ll have time today.”
“But storytime!” She may have been older than me, but Foster pouted like a foal.
It was like...a whole other side to her. Fucking weird.
“I’ll try, I’ll really try," he swore.
The girl in the bubble looked like she was about to cry.
“I--; I--;”
“Paging Nurse Stethoscope. Paging Nurse Stethoscope.”
He brought his hoof to his face.
“I’m so sorry. I’ll try to be back here tonight. I really will. It’s just so--;”
“Nurse Stethoscope to ICU,” said the tinny voice in the megaphone. “Stethoscope to ICU.”
“It’s not usually quite so crazy around here.”
“I”ll come up with something,” I said.
“What?”
Time to quit hiding in the folds of my own brain. I couldn’t do much for Foster from where I lay, but I could find a way to occupy her. Keep her spirits up.
“We’ll find something to do - Bananas Foster and me.”
I gave him a hoof’s up.
Nurse Stethoscope nodded and darted off.
* * *
So apart from a a few nosy doctors poking their heads in, stabbing my big black evil hoof with needles, and jotting notes down when I screamed "ow", and of course, the occasional nurse, it was pretty much just Bananas Foster and me all day and all night.
“He's not coming back,” she pouted. She was still upset about Nurse Stethoscope.
“You don't know that.”
"’I'll try,’" she mimicked him. “That's grown-up for 'no.'"
I couldn't argue with her there.
“Do you really care that much about something called storytime?”
“It's boring here!” She snapped.
“See this?” She held up one of her books. “I read this one twenty-seven times.”
Bleep-bleep. Bleep-bleep.
“I don't even like this book!”
She threw it against the wall of her bubble. To my surprise, it went straight through. Whacked right into a railing on my bed and wedged itself against my mattress.
"Okay then, um...well...once upon a time there was a sandwich named Ryelight Sparkle who came to Sandwichville to oversee the Summer Sandwich Celebration."
Foster looked at me. Just looked at me.
"Ok so not a sandwich fan."
“It's alright,” she said. “You tried.”
Then came more of that awful hospital silence. I was getting sick of that stuff. Fucking bleeps. Foster went back to writing in her notebook. I went back to digging at my itchy gums with my tongue. So fucking annoying.
Finally, I gave up and reached for the book she'd thrown. “Your bubble isn't book-proof?”
“It stops living things," she said “Germs. Ponies.”
“Ah. Neat," I replied.
She rolled her eyes.
“I mean…“What about you?” I said.
“I'm not book-proof.”
“I mean, when's the last time anypony asked you to tell them a story?”
“You want me to tell you a story?”
“No.” I scratched at my face. Fidgeted with that damn itch in my gums. “Just, you know, wanna know about you.”
“Me?”
“Yeah.”
She looked at the ceiling. Ran her hoof through her mane. “Uh…”
“I mean. No pressure or anything. I don't mean to.”
“Well it's just that I'm not supposed to say,” Foster’s voice trailed off.
“It's ok, just...wait, what?! Why?”
“The doctors said it would scare everypony.”
“Who cares what those stupid geese say? What about your family?”
She shrugged and hid behind her mane. Fidgeted with her blanket.
In that moment, I knew.
“Oh,” I said.
Bleep-bleep, bleep-bleep.
“I'm sorry for your loss.”
“Thanks,” she replied.
All her masks. All her crazy. It all just sorta crumbled away.
Bananas Foster bit down on her hoof. Tried not to sob, but there were still tears all over her cheeks. She bit down even harder. Her hoof was starting to turn bright red. Finally, she caught her breath.
"I miss my brothers," she said at last.
"Jeez."
Her brothers? Somepony so young?
"I miss my Mom too," she coughed.
My heart skipped a beat.
"I know how you feel," I said.
She turned to me and stared me down with the fear, anger, and desperation of a wounded animal. Everything about her screamed "you don't know how I feel."
"My Mom!” I said. “She died when I was two...."
Yeah, I know. I put myself out there and opened up to a total stranger. Again. I needed practice keeping my fucking mouth shut.
"Your brothers," I added. "I don't...I can't even imagine."
She looked at me with so much hatred, I would have stumbled backwards had I been standing.
And then the moment was over. She took a deep breath, spat the words, “It’s okay,” grouchily, and that was that.
We both just sorta lay there. Alone in our separate bubbles.
She couldn't talk about it. I couldn't talk about it. At least not in the way I really needed to. And she was fucking pissed at me. I wasn’t even sure if I could’ve said anything differently. It totally sucked.
I wished with all my heart that I could just rip my tubes out, go over there and stroke her mane. But of course that was impossible.
"Bananas?" I said.
She didn’t reply.
As she sat on the corner of her bed, waiting for me to ask what I wanted to ask anyway, I suddenly heard another one of those whispers in my brain. A simple phrase. I honestly can’t say where the hell it came from, because it wasn't like all that other stupid hornet stuff. It came from me. Somehow, if that makes any sense. But it was a message just the same. And it just sorta spilled right out of my mouth.
"There's always the bomb," I whispered.
“What's that?” Said Foster.
She was caught so off guard that her anger melted away. I was caught so off guard, that my anxiety melted away too. I found myself laying there, on the cusp of talking about the fucking apocalypse to a stranger who was totally batshit insane.
Still, I knew that I had to. Not just to get through an awkward night alone with a stranger. Not just to get my own baggage off my chest. But to get through to Bananas. To help her.
I couldn’t have explained the feeling even if I’d tried, but there was still some of my heart left intact - even after Trottica, and it suddenly woke up on me, right then and there. I followed.
“Hey, um...Bananas? Do you want to hear a different kind of story?”
* * *
I remember back when Twilight Sparkle’s brother-I’d-never-heard-of got married to a princess-I’d-never-heard-of, and I flunked my science project because the library shut down for a week. I was mad. Real mad. 'Til I read all those eyewitness accounts of what had actually happened at the Royal Wedding.
I remember feeling alone because everypony else was sooo thrilled that True Love had won the day, that they forgot all about the one thing that should have been haunting their nightmares. I'd dropped the newspaper all over the floor when I realized it.
Princess Celestia was weak.
The most powerful pony in all of Equestria - a fucking immortal alicorn - and she was taken down like a chump by some bug lady, all because she had eaten recently. The love of one guy.
For a while, I’d felt like the world had ended. I slept with a lamp burning in my room. I flinched when I stepped around corners. I kept waiting for civilization to collapse upon itself or something. But it didn’t. It was just business as usual everywhere I went. Folks buying fruit at the market. Kids going to school. Shopkeepers selling stuff.
It wasn’t 'til I saw what life was like for ponies after civilization actually did go kaboom that I finally understood.
The world is a fragile thing. You have to believe in it. Celestia’s power didn’t come from being the most magical pony in all of Equestria. The place we know and love stays true to itself, not because she is invincible, but because we all believe in her. Because when we all pitch in for the greater good, we believe in ourselves. All because of a simple bedtime story. The beautiful myth that Celestia has everything under control.
The Wasteland was totally dead. The war had poisoned everything, but in two whole centuries, they could have fixed it if they’d put their minds to it. The real problem was that nopony believed in themselves anymore. Nopony believed in each other. The Wasteland was a place where stupid actresses could just waltz right into some horrorshow down-on-their-luck town, tell a halfway-engaging story, and bam!! Something to believe in. Something to work for. Something to kill for.
A story is a powerful thing. Bigger than princesses. Bigger than bombs.
I trusted Bananas Foster with my story because she needed a friend, and I needed to follow my heart a little. What I didn’t know is that it would end up saving my life.
* * *
I rambled a bit. Told her about my cutie mark quest, and the explosion, and the screaming of millions of ponies coming from inside my brain. I got as far as the billboard before she snapped. The zebra with the cauldron.
Foster dropped all her papers on the floor and brought her hooves up to her mouth.
“No,” she whispered.
It's hard to take news of the apocalypse well. Unless you're Cliff, of course.
“Zebras fighting ponies. You’re sure that’s what made the uh…”
“Big kaboom?”
Bananas nodded frantically.
“Yeah.”
I started to tell her more, but she just sort of stared off into space. I wasn’t even sure she was listening anymore.
“Bananas?” I said. “You okay?”
She nodded.
“What is it?”
Just then, Nursedoctor poked her head in the door. “Night time, girls."
"Ah!" I yelped.
"The rest of the ward’s sleeping.” She let out a great big yawn herself as she closed the curtain between Bananas Foster and me.
Not that it mattered, the bubble girl had a lever.
Disappearing as quickly and as drowsily as she had come, Nursedoctor left a horrible silence between us kids.
“Foster?”
She didn’t answer.
“Hello?”
Bleep-bleep. Bleep-bleep.
“I think I’m gonna get some sleep,” she whimpered at last.
I would have pushed the subject a little further. Something was clearly wrong with the bubble girl. But at that exact moment, I got a little distracted. The source of all that damn itching finally came loose.
It was a hair. A purple hair.
Misty Mountain’s tail hair. There in my hoof.
It wasn't till I held it up to the light that I realized what I had there in my hoof. It was a strand of Misty Mountain's tail, brought back with me through the centuries.
Ordinarily, I'm a real graceful-like pony. Not the slightest bit accident prone. But I was weak. Focusing my eyes was an effort. Gripping it between my hooves was, likewise, an effort.
What if I drop it? I thought. They'll sweep it away!
I needed that hair. I didn’t know what I was going to do with it, but fuck, I needed the damn thing.
In desperation, I reached for the one thing I could think of to hide the hair in. To keep it safe before I smuggled it home. My giant glittery get well card. I flossed it right into that rough spot where Blueberry Milkshake had crossed out her note with paste and paint.
And hoped that I could keep it safe until morning.
Then I just lay there. Terrified. For a long, long time.
If only I hadn't sent my family away, I thought. So stupid.
Clonk. 2x4 o' Friendship.
Yeah, thanks, Twink.
My world was spinning out of control. I felt like I was gonna vomit. My heart was pounding like a bass drum. The future of Equestria was tucked loosely into an arts-and-crafts project. And the memory of my best friend kept whacking me in the head, telling me to feel good about myself. I was so freaked out, I literally couldn’t tell which way was up, and which was down. But then, I heard a terrible sound, and everything sort of snapped right back into place. That old familiar warning. The barking of dogs.
Oh, no, I thought. Not again. Not here.
Nice contrasting between Ponyville and the Wasteland as Petal gets used to (apparently) being done with her "mission", along with her opinion on Fate. And you continue to have great turn-of-phrases:
And Ryelight Sparkle is best sandwich!
4327845
Thanks. :)
Ryelight is actually Roseluck's bedtime story to Rose Petal from Chapter 1.
Best Sandwich.
4329504 I actually forgot about that; guess it's been a little while since I read the first chapter. Still awesome though.
Also wondering what exactly Petal is thinking of trying to do to get in contact with Misty Mountain, since they're separated by seemingly hundreds of years, cause I got the impression that while Petal went forward in time to the Wasteland, Misty went back in time. Or it could be that Misty is also in the present, but that he's a more experienced Dreamer, and has thus found out more about the future history (another interesting phrase/concept). Well, I guess time will tell (pun intended ).
Doing additional thinking about the entire story, and can't believe that it took me this long to realize that Rose Petal is one of the few beings that has experienced both pre- and post-war Equestria (in regards to the people in FO:E), and of the even smaller subset that has experienced prewar Equestria and the Wasteland. The only other ones that I can think of for the second group is Fluttershy and the ghouls. True, Littlepip, Spike, and Celestia know all about the Equestria before and after the bombs fell, but Spike and Celestia "merely" watched the Wasteland on the monitors, and Littlepip also "merely" experienced the past vicariously through the orbs. As always, Pinkie remains a special case (given the wackiness of her visions). Given all that, it's nice to see Rose Petal beginning to try to do something to avert the war (as impossible as that is, due to Fate) by wanting to start learning more about zebras and how the war could have started (given I assume that that's why she's interested in a book about zebras).
All in all, good stuff.
4330056
Thanks.
Their plan actually involved research from the beginning. They went to the library to find out more, and to try to get Spike to send a letter. It was closed.
Originally I was just going to reveal that plan when the library was open again, but originally, the Trottica storyline was supposed to be one chapter. Lol.
It took me way longer to come back to the original storyline than expected. Thanks for giving me your perspective as a reader. Now I see that the idea of looking into researching zebras, for example, would feel new, when in my head, it was Rose's plan all along.
Little things like that are very helpful feedback. Thanks. :)
4330329 Sure thing! At what point in your head-canon did Petal come up with the idea to learn more about zebras? Cause I take it that it is to learn more to attempt to prevent the war, not to just provide additional context about the war.
Also find myself curious about the message from Blueberry, as well as what Petal will do (if anything) with Misty's tail hair. Mysterious mysteries...
As a side note, since she brought The Shadow back with her, along with Misty's hair, I wonder if Petal brought some radiation back with her? Since I figure that it's always building up in the bodies of Wastelanders, even between taking doses of Rad-Away. Or is it that only Important Things come back with her (which is actually justifiable given the weird way that the Dreaming works)?
And the chapter 4 review is up
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4331297
After Rose and Cliff got the milkshakes, their next step was going to the library, which, if I recall, they called "Sequence Alpha" of their plan - spy talk for "Step One."
They were going to the library to try to convince Spike to send a letter, and to find out as much about zebras as possible
4335301 Okay, just read it a bit ago and, I do remember the going to study and learn more about things part, but not any mention of using Spike to send a letter.
4352528
Thanks. This chapter was my first action sequence and it took me a long time to get the sense of space right. Glad it worked for you.
As for unicorn horns, I always thought of them like bone, and bone shatters when you throw a rock at it. Then again they might be more like tusks or ram's horns, which are really dense bone. I imagined that they wouldn't be because they didn't evolve out of a need to engage in physical combat.
It raises interesting anatomy questions.
There is also the fact that Wastelanders aren't necessarily getting all the calcium they need.
Though, given the physical duress a lot of these ponies go through, you're right, I imagine the horns would need to be strong.
4352572 Well, go more into it in the full write up but, it's not out of the realm of possibility for that to happen, just feels unlikely. Though there are plenty of reasons it could have worked.
We do know horns are rather tough, and in FOE we saw unicorns using them as an improvised melee weapon, though it was rare and only a last ditch or accidental thing, so they can stand some abuse. But there are factors that mitigate it. raider, or at least close to it, so likely fairly undernourished and not the healthiest in the first place, plus greater stress on his body already. And it does seem and is generally agreed on that channeling magic makes the horn more sensitive, so it's possible that it also renders it a bit weaker because of the power. Or might even trigger a kind of blow back, the power getting unleashed quickly if the spell was the right type and it's hit hard enough.
So I could see ways in which it might work logically, just, still feels a tad off to me, just a bit excessive to have the shatter. Crack sure, but outright shatter like that. Eh, like I said it's not a huge issue cause I could think of plenty of reasons it works, just feels a tad to much, just a bit off. Good headcanon for how it worked, the rock didn't break the horn, just cracked it, and he was to stupid to head the pain and kept pumping power into his horn, causing it to overload. yeah that works Ohhh so many ideas just one this one thing....
But again just amazingly well done chapter, will get to the full write up after thinking it over a bit. Few minor, huh the could have been better moments but overall amazing.
4354977
Thanks for your enthusiasm for the story in general, and my condolences regarding Twinkle.
She really brought this story to life, and I miss her.
4408720 I'm really glad you're enjoying it.
The scene with the stampede and the shadow thing was not planned. It just sorta happened, and writing it scared the crap out of me. Lol.
When I look back on it, it's probably one of the segments that I am most proud of.
Thanks for reading and thanks for commenting. I find it really helpful to hear what other people thought.
4452797 Well enjoy if you ever get around to it, would love to hear others thought on what I bring up.
And this is nothing, you should see the one I did for the original FOE.
4452787
Thanks. I'm glad you like it. I try to update approximately once a month. Sometimes a little less, and sometimes a little more. I'm a parent with a full time job, a special needs kid, and a side-gig scoring independent films. I really do wish I could pump out material as fast as a lot of other authors. Sorry for the wait.
On the brightside, I think the story itself has benefited from the space between chapters. Because I think about it a lot in my spare time and digest it, which really gives me a chance to edit each chapter with fresh eyes and iron out a lot of kinks before publishing.
Anyway I'm pleased you like it and I'm always thrilled when someone else discovers this story which means so very much to me.
I'm sorry that I didn't manage to read this amazing chapter weeks ago. Although part of me is glad that I put it off so that there will be a shorter wait to the next one.
This chapter was beautiful. After the horrors and excitement of Trottica, this was a perfect time for a change of pace -- a chance to slow down and examine things, remember characters, and build on the relationships Rose Petal has in Ponyville. It was great to see Roseluck and Cliff Diver again. The character interactions were great. ("Do me a favor and answer the geese, okay?", "In the eye or the deal's off.") But what struck me even more was how you retouched on Blueberry Milkshake. I also really liked Diamond Tiara's attempt to use Rose Petal's situation ("piggybacking on the class’ sympathy") to boost her own popularity. Very Diamond Tiara.
My only regret is that you didn't describe Rose Petal's emotional scene with Roseluck more; I didn't realize she had actually told her about Twinkle until later, and I still don't know how much was said -- which I consider valuable information for interpreting the dynamic between them and with the "bubble girl" later.
The new character, Bananas Foster, is interesting and I look forward more of her. The interactions between her and Rose Petal were realistic (although I did stumble at Rose Petal calling her crazy and insane... I wasn't sure where that came from) and create an interesting dynamic. Bananas is a unique character that I suspect we will learn a lot more about.
Your storycrafting is excellent. For example, you make great use of the heart monitor sounds (bleep-bleep) through repetition to enhance the feelings of silence or isolation. And of course I am always enamored by your inventive imagery (such as the geese and gooslings -- that was gorgeous -- and "alone in our separate bubbles", "like a little tiny needle stab straight to the heart") and turns of phrase ("an immaculate fortress o’ knowledge", "ten-hundred-million-thousand miles away"), especially with how they help characterize Rose Petal ("like a great big old hammer made out of all-that-is-loud-in-this-world", "2x4 of Friendship").
As I've said before, one of my favorite aspects of The Hooves of Fate is that you take the time to grapple philosophical context, and frankly do it better than I think I ever did. Your grasp and use of the themes is simply amazing. This chapter was another beautiful example of that. Especially towards the end, where you touched on one of the most important themes of Fallout: Equestria and then took it a step further as Rose Petal came to grasp both the need to have something or someone to believe in and the power of storytelling.
I can't wait for the next chapter. This is one of the stories I most strongly recommend whenever I'm asked, and for very good reason.
4525804
I'm speechless. Thank you.
This is a fantastic and unique story, and I'm really enjoying this. Watching Rose Petal essentially have to relearn to rely on others after her return to Ponyville feels completely natural, and as much as I just want to give her a hug and tell her it'll all be okay, I realize that's exactly what Roseluck and Cliff Diver are trying to do. But then Rose simply wants to stew in it, and I can't blame her for that. Twinkle's death was heart-wrenching for me, let alone for Rose.
Honestly, I liked this whole latest chapter, most especially Rose's nicknames for all the doctors and nurses, and the way Rose tunes out the other talk ("But what about science science science!").
But the Trottica arc here, holy crap. This whole Baal religion sham makes so much sense, and I love how it fits in thematically with the ideas presented before, that ponies just turned a blind eye.
But at the same time, there are moments that blur the line enough to show that it isn't a simple issue. For example, when Rose has time to stop for a moment and focus on Twinkle gunning down the ponies during their escape, she is still upset about it, but practicality ends up shoving it aside. Looking back on the moment, I'm glad she didn't try to stop Twinkle and have a whole ethic debate about it like some pair of mopey pirates.
I can definitely see the more childlike voice emerging from Rose's observations, and I'm glad for it. A few points earlier on were just a tad too mature, never quite immersion breaking, though. These chapters have solidified in my mind that Rose is absolutely around the age of the CMC.
Finally, these two plot threads of Misty and the shadows. At first I had interpreted the shadowy entity that forced Rose to relive her mother's death as a sort of cruel taskmaster, re-motivating Rose to save Strawberry Lemonade (I love that it was her!). But with her hoof still being corrupted back in Ponyville, and the way it creeped Roseluck out to hear about it, I'm not so sure. The fact that this isn't some sort of hereditary power Roseluck and her family have adds to this mystery. I'm eager to see Misty and Rose meet up to compare notes, and I really want to see where the story as a whole goes.
Once again, an excellent job, sir. You've got something great here, and I'm looking forward to more.
Another great and wonderful chapter, really I'm kind of sad that there's only one more chapter left before you have to sit down and wait... and wait.... and gosh,waiting sucks to the point where after a while you forget, then you feel guilty for not getting back to an amazing story. Wah.... >.>
Roses character is lovable and enjoyable. She's lost a lot of innocents, but even somehow children in war torn countries tend to hold onto something, even in all of the death. I believe she'll pull through and make it out. I'd love to see Froster and her become good friends. Froster is an interesting new character as well. One to step in after Twinkle bit the dust... *Sniffs* Twinkle, we'll never forget you, you little bitchy girl. And this chapter really focuses on the aftermath of coming back from the brink of destruction and the loss of a dear friend. She's thrust back into her own life where real and personal stories directly affect her. Because, that's her life, not the future where she's only there for so long. I wonder if she'll see some of the others again, or perhaps she'll skip to a later date, when Pip is out and during her thing. Or even in the civil war... That's the thing about this story, and that you've got so much potential and ability at your fingertips here, almost anything is open to touch on, dark and light subjects alike.
Gonna read the next chapter and I'll see about becoming a regular good reviewer. I think it's pretty cool that you've even got Kkat reading this awesome tale. it goes to show how good it truly is.
Major question, do you have any original works, or have you only written fanfiction?
Quaver Ava
Well after THAT... ending. that turn...... how will Rose deal with this? How will Roseluck be able to help her? Cliff? Just, poor Rose Petal... and, her hoof on top of all of that....
Breaking out the Tolkien... and, very appropriate quote given what this chapter is likely going to be dealing with. And just, the whole way death is portrayed in LOTR, or how it is meant to be, not something to be feared, but a gift, the ability to leave behind the mortal shell and transcend beyond the boundaries of the world. Right now Rose needs something like that, some hope someway to make this less horrible for her.
Well, they are out of Trottica so no reason to go back there. but get what she means. The next part, tad more "huh do you mean this or that?" just, possibly a bit oddly worded. Or maybe it's just me. And yes it wouldn't be a relief, because of what she's leaving. Her friends. And even worse.. as bad as this is for Rose, how bad must this be hitting Strawberry? She finally makes some friends that care about her, that save her from a life a slavery, that push her into helping to free hundreds of other foals. And above all, care for her. And just as things look clear, one of them dies in front of her, and the other two just vanish. But, she's alive, that seems to be all 'Fate' gives a fuck about.
Heh, as Rose points out. because, Strawberry mattered, she was important. Twink was not....... You know, Doctor Whooves IS canon to exist in the FOE verse. Bet he would like to have quite a few words with whatever force is casually deciding who is and isn't 'important'.
And this whole thing, looking back, has even more impact given Rose's thoughts before heading back to the Wastes the second time. Deciding to take change of things, to save who SHE decides needs saving. Screw what 'fate' wants, she's not doing this because some force tells her to, but because it's right. Only to have the one she'd most want to save killed in front of her. And hints that she's go back. be sent on another mission. How would she take that one? becoming bitter, cynical, starting to think there isn't any point in giving a fuck about anypony except the one her mission was about? becoming like Misty? Is that what caused him to be as big a douche as he was? Or, will it just cause her to become even more dedicated to her initial goal. To ignoring what 'fate' wants and striving even harder to do what SHE thinks is right. Saving everypony she can, treating everypony as important, everypony as being as deserving of help? Hopefully the latter. Or will it be something else entirely?
...
Well, enjoying your first hangover Rose? Granted not the exact same deal, but downing that much of a sleep inducing herb that quickly cannot be healthy.
Given that memory.... yeah easy to see why. beyond most kids fear of doctors and such, just the personal emotions to brings back.
Same thing. They didn't save her mother. Even if she knows there isn't anything they could do, that feeling won't change. it's not rationale, but it is understandable.
That, seems like something that would never really work, then again the basic premise is the same, see if they are having double vision.
Also, in the hospital so, will be interesting to see what they make of her hoof. And no luck hiding that now.
That was adorable. forgot how great the sister dynamic between these two was. how well they know each other and just what to say, how to be there for each other.
Pre-Wastes Rose as snarky enough, but post-Wastes Rose? With Twinks influence, this could be quite entertaining, especially if she forgets where she is and slips into some of Twinks more colorful language.
Ow, something I didn't think about. the shear change between what she just did, and how she'll be treated now. A foal, a kid, nearly helpless. yeah after doing what she did, saving so many foals, escaping THAT. To then be treated like, well the Doctors are treating her. That is going to be harsh. Hmm wonder if some of the foals that get chosen to do this jump at the chance, get more and more addicted to it, want to go back into the 'dreams' as much as possible, because in there, they matter, they are doing something important. Not just some useless kid every adult talks down to.
Okay..... this would totally clash with the story, but now I have a mental image of her hoof being possessed and trying to kill her, till she has to chop it off, and it still goes after her till she replaces it with a chainsaw.
Wow, that's some really powerful tea. Though, likely it's also from the shear mental and physical exhaustion her little adventure put he through. The tea put her down, her body and minds need to rest kept her there. Though even then, a week seems a bit of a stretch. but just a bit. Then again migh not have been a full week, just a few days and it went through the weekend.
Well, that is pretty much a sure thing. Since the only foals they lost were the Sub-Mine F foals. And he would have been with the foals in the cages, or in that group with all the drugg-o's. So, yeah odds are he's saved, but she's right she can't be sure.
okay, to be fair, she DOES have a rather vital role to play, and without her Sunshine and Rainbow's and/or activating The Gardens might never have happened. So, again, to be fair, it was rather important she live. BUT, that doesn't mean other ponies shouldn't have been just as important, that everypony isn't important in some way, matter just as much. And really hope Rose doesn't let the resentment turn on Strawberry herself. It wasn't her fault. Now 'Fate' sure, go nuts on blaming that. but not Strawberry.
At least she has Cliff to help her too.
Okay, decent start, don't really know much but good o see that the instant something went wrong Roseluck got her to the doctor. And Cliff, sticking with her. Way to go. Reestablishing just how close the sisters are, how well they are able to read each other and help. The Doctors=Geese thing was rather cute, but, does bring to mind the question of just why so many of them are there. Ponyville hardly seems large enough to have that man med students, let alone a teaching hospital, and why would they stick around that much? And why with Rose? But the joke did more or less work, unless you overthink it.
Oh fuck... I was afraid of this. I hoped she wouldn't but, somehow, I knew Rose would end up blaming herself. No BAD ROSE! BAD PONY! You stop that right now!
Even now, Twink continues to be awesome. Way to go little filly. Glad to see at least some of what Twink told her sunk in. Because the pint sized terror was right in all of it.
Though simply transferring he rage to somepony/thing else, while healthier then turning it inwards, still isn't all that healthy compared to accepting it and moving on.
Ouch, big change to how she went into the dream..... I cant blame her for being angry, though hard to really join in the blaming without knowing more about who or what is controlling these things and why. Motivations mater, WHY is very important, so without knowing that, had to know how wrong 'fate' is. We KNOW Strawberry had to live, that if she died, many man many more ponies would suffer and die, the Wastes might have never recovered, just an endless spiral of destruction till there was nothing left worth saving. But, what is it's motivation? Does it see ponies as nothing more then pieces? As puppets for it to manipulate without caring about them as beings? Or, does it care, if possible, would it have saved twink as well? Is it more like The Doctor? But on a grander scale. Feeling that every life is important. Worth saving, but also knowing that sometimes you can't save them all, that sometimes sacrifices need to be made. But always wanting to prevent that, to win without having to make those sacrifices if at all possible?
So yeah while Roses anger and feeling are justified, hard to call them 'right' without knowing more about what is doing this.
Well, it IS Ponyville, they do have some catastrophe every other week or so....
Well not that I'd blame him, but yeah that.Though given how lax Cheerilee seems to be overall, and the whole.. everything about the town, could see her not really caring. If she knows they are friends and he's spending the time with her. yeah can see nopony complaining about missing school for a few days for that.
Though would kind of like to hear what they are actually saying. still a nice joke.
Okay, that makes sense, the cold and all, though... turning black isn't the OPENING stages of anything. Though if they mean the amount and type of damage is more like the first bits, with the blackness just being an oddity...
Huh.... CALLED IT! So the cold caused frostbite, which caused the numbness and pain, and the blackness is a secondary sign of what caused it? That, makes a good deal of sense. Though... then again a hoof is little more then a giant fingernail... but that's real hooves, pony hooves.... how do they work?
Okay you made me burst out laughing at that. And the best part is...... given Equestria and all, that's not really that much of an out there diagnoses. given all the random magical ailments and conditions that could drop up, things like this are likely to be far less odd then for us.
Nice timing. Glad to see the humor coming back.. we need it after.. after.....
Okay her reasons for not talking about it right now are good ones. Just, not sure where to start, the pain still being so fresh that she doesn't want to think about it right now. Yes, take some time, precess it. but do NOT bottle it up for to long, again. Eventually, you NEED to talk about it.
Granted some random foal, not even the one that saw it.. yeah unlikely to believe. But Rose herself? Given the oddity with her hoof, and knowing some things she simply couldn't know. She should be able to at least get Twi to listen.
Okay that... THAT is brilliant, taking that little bit of odd trivia, and the theories about how it might have worked, and then using them as an actual plot point that it was like that!
He's going to pull out some Equestrian Enquirer level conspiracy theory stuff, isn't he?
Okay, did not see THAT one coming. Bringing in a multiverse theory? hmmmmm, doubt it, just given that we KNOW time travel is really in Equestria, and also that it always results in a Stable Time Loop.
hmmmm was this pre or post Dash-Con and the ball-pit meme? Save the one we want you to, and you get an extra hour in the ball pit?
...
Okay those other books.. soooo.. random whacko? And Professor Science? no wonder nopony takes this seriously. Still be interesting to see what he says, maybe he is onto something about this, just, not what he thinks.
Huh, the funny thing is.... that.. sounds almost plausible. I mean, we know it was seeing the suffering ponies were enduring under Discord that caused Tia and Luna to confront him, and that it seemed to be the first time they direct interacted with the ponies. No hints where they came from before it... and.. hell stranger things have happened in Equestria.
Now the question is, how right is he?
So we have Fox Mulder colt? but again given everything that's already happened in that world, hard to claim anything is 'impossible'.
Making a pretty large assumption there Rose. Who says Misty is a foal now? that he came from the same time you did? He might have lived a hundred years ago, or not even be born yet.
Also the Equestria has the kind of census data.
At least she handled it better then Pinkie Sense. but still, of ALL the ponies to try and talk to about that.. you picked the WORST one. Try pinkie Pie next time. Or maybe Lyra. Claim one of those alternate universes has humans, and she'll trying top bang a sledgehammer on the walls of reality to break them down and get to it.
D'awwwwww Really liking how those two play off each other. You can tell they are close, and it's a different enough dynamic from her and Twink to not be.... repetitive and also creepy and saddening.
okay really REALLY do not see Equestria screwing over ponies that get sick like the real world does. That affording medical care is ever an issue for ANY pony.
OHHHHHH Okay not a hospital bill issue, but a spending the week siting around the hospitable instead of working issue. That one makes sense. Also, what is with the itchy teeth?
And, very nice transition, just, no rel buildup, Rose trying o be strong, brave, push it all away, and a few very well chosen and lucky words from Roseluck, and the dam breaks, all the pain, grief, everything we knew was inside overwhelm her. And even the odd perfectness of the words, it's not at all odd. it's EXACTLY what anypony that cared about her would say. It's why they both said the same thing, they both care about her, and they both see the same thing. See how badly her desire not to burden other ponies with her pain is hurting her, how much she needs to open up and talk about it.
YES actually getting it out, and for Twinkle, because it's what the little ball of awesome would have wanted. So proud of you Rose Petal.
So is it really, or is that just Rose being paranoid? Agian impossible to say without knowing more about it. is it something that can only affect time travelers? And seriously you are worried about it attacking PONYVILLE! Again how many times a month does that town get destroyed in some way? it's the home of the mane 6, the Elements of Harmony. LET IT! Let it just try something here.
YAY! one of only two ships I actually really like and support. (Don't care for shipping in general beyond those two. the other is Scratchtavia)
Rose Petal... i know you well enough y now to realize, even staying in bed you could find some way to 'get into trouble'
Uhhhhhh, great. Yeah really think the Trottica parts needed to better emphasize not all the grownups were assholes. Yeah it did do so, but, given her reaction... not well enough. (okay it was well done, but just, might just be a personal thing but really wish it had hit that point harder.) then again i hate labeling ANY group based just on the actions of a few. labeling Grownups=assholes, because some grownups were assholes, rather then Assholes=Assholes.
Ehhh, wording choice here feels off. 'I sent him off' then a rather large bit about her doing just that? Doesn't quite work well.
Given how often the mane 6 head off on adventures out of the blue, seems you'd be used to that by now. Though... a lot of the time Spike isn't with them, so maybe that's what he's doing? Keeping the Library open, tending to Fluttershy's animals, helping take care of the other things the mane 6 leave behind...
Rose, NO bad Pony! Stop that. isolating yourself will NOT protect anypony, it will just make them that much more desperate to protect you, or lead to them dealing with hings they are unprepared for because you weren't around to help and tell them what you know. (Somepony make her read The Dresden Files please? At least till the point Harry also realizes this fact.)
Well, so he's right, at least in part. But just a bit of meta humor, or will this actaully come into play in the story?
Also side note, it's amazing just how close to the show FOE still is, how much happens in the show that not only stays in line with what FOE has, but even confirms things about it. Like the Canterlot Shield and all. And pretty much every major deviation, the points where show canon makes FOE impossible in major ways. They can mostly be resolved by just one single change. One single event going differently. Twilight not Ascending. Not onl does it clear up the whole, she's not a princess thing. But a lot of the other major events. Giving back the Elements? okay this is going by headcanon but the timing fits that it was the Element of Magic being taken to the EQG world that triggered the events of Princess Twilight. The the Elements being taken to another universe broke what remaining connection the tree had to it's power and let the plunder Vines reach it. (Odd that after all the time it happen RIGHT then, just the timing is to close to be a coincidence.) So no Plunder Vine attack, no returning the Elements. Then, with them still having the Elemtns, Tirak is no issue. Tia lets Discord try, soon as he double crosses them, she sends the Mane 6 out with the Elements to zap them both. Defeating Tirak and reimprisoning Discord since he didn't have time to realize he was screwing up and regret it.
what?... are... are we sure she's not dreaming? I mean.. what!?
Damnit Rose, you're going to need to be happy again at some point.... Though yeah still fresh so, that reminder.. not a good idea.
Okay, that whole scene.. hilariously awesome.
If anypony could do that, it's you Rose.
On the one hoof, good of her to be caring about this, to know she's affecting others, to think about, even if she tries to push them away to protect them, she's just making them worry more. On the other hoof, this could lead to her blaming herself for even MORE and sending in even more self loathing at making them worry.
Also, nice to see her thoughts on Blue, yeah Blue wasn't exactly a great friend, but she was at least a friend, after a fashion.
What!? Okay, this.. come on, it can't be THAT serious.. maybe she just wants to apologize in pony? or or.. break up? but still.. i can't be some dire, massive emergency thing.
Yes but in our defense, you did have a rather rough experience. And plenty of reason to be on edge, but, at least you now this and are trying to tone it down. Characters acting like jerks sometimes can work. IF they have a good reason to be acting that way. If not, you get OOC horrible, character defilement like Putting your Hoof Down.
Oookay then. bubble fillie. Well then... this ummm.... okay then....at least with maic they have better options for tring to help.. I guess. but still wha? Also, not sure if it's sad or telling or what that that is actually better then what I thought might be behind the curtain.
Wow very nice way of putting it, just, just a perfect way of describing things and.. just spot on.
And more of why, well one reason why, I love this story so much, that whole last part, just, such an amazingly well done, spot on and direct way of putting things. Just, very well worded and effective, and then ending with something, while still true, is phrased in roses unique way to make it hilarious, but still true and effective.
OHHH I like her.
Okay that came out of nowhere. Yeah I could see how it might look from the outside, but why would she suddenly think like that? Suddenly assume that's what the other filly was thinking about? Bring up the subject of it with no reason? I mean hat it addresses is rather important but having Rose be the one to bring it up just.... feels forced and really off to just come out of the blue like this. EDIT: that was my first response, tuns out I goofed, thought the stuff in italics was Roses internal monologue not Bananas talking.
okay the tea is THAT potent that it actually could be lethal? Well.... this IS the same country whose dominate taste in architecture will be unguarded catwalks over heavy machinery in a few years.
OUCH! And again, this does go back to stuff from before. About when Rose was thinking about 'innocence' and it being that which separates the foals from the adults, and all that. But, more in line with my take on, everything about how Rose views things. It's not innocence, so much as simplicity. Seeing thing in simpler ways. But now, she's seeing just how complicated life is, how it isn't always as simple as she thinks it should be. Just... damn, some amazing character progression here. And full in line with everything the story's been saying so far, just, love it!
WHAT! No no, seriosly HOW!? How could she!? that is WAY to perfect, way to exact..... Though in Rose defense. She is not FULLY wrong, the operative word being sometimes the issue is where line is drawn for those times. And no not a defense for Happy Sad, because she ignored that 'sometimes' part. Though again.. HOW!?
Oh that was amazing. Very VERY nice! So, Happy Sad took it from something else. Also REALLY nice way to bring that up and have it make SO much damn sense, that.. was epic. Leaving just enough time for "Wait What? how could she know to say that!?" before showing how it does make sense. great.
Such a perfect line. Do, do i really have to sa anything about it to explain better just how perfect this is?
Well it WAS discord, he likely helped with that part.
And, this whole bit again, so well done, he thoughts, her worries, realizing that it was, so much of it was just trying to escape the pain, the loss, the sadness and grief, looking for anyway to end it. How it can twist you, make you lash out, try to get rid of the pain by inflicting it on others. So much said, in so few lines... Pretty sure I've said this before about this story but.. Sir Pterry would very much approve.
I think I love that 2x4 more then I should.
Good. Just, the whol chapte so far, Roses inner struggle, trying to deal with this, and her own reactions, deal with how it's making her think and lash out.
And suddenly. I.. I really want to know more about Happy Sad. Is this what happened to her? She lost her friends? became consumed by rage and grief? But, without ponies around to help pull her back like Rose had? Or, refusing their help, turning inward, isolating herself out of the pain till it warped her. twisted her, but always there, always hurting, as much as she tried to mask it.... Just the parralelle, and none of it stated, all just a guess at what might have happened. And yet, still powerful, just, the implications of it being that.... suddenly, I, can't find myself hating her. What she did yes, her actions, but, I can't just loathe her totally. Take note, THIS is how you do a tragic "feel sorry for the villain even though they are a horrible monster" backstory RIGHT!
Huh... not fully accurate, but as just a generality... I can see where she'd get that and why she'd feel that way and, it does kind of make sense.
Okay was wondering when the title would come into effect though still no sure what's up with it.
Really curious what is wrong with her....
....
okay, damn suck in the bubble, at least the nurses really seem to care and go out of heir way for her. but still. Alone, now dealing with Rose, who has her own issues. And yet, just what Rose needs. Not only in the 'Damn somepony has it worse then me so I should stop bitching' way. but also, giving her something she can do to help somepony she can help in some way. Something she can do to take her mind off her own trouble and just, be a foal for a bit. talk, laugh, try to sheer her up. Just.... I am REALLY liking her.
Nice aim.
At first i was like... but then, I was like very nice call back.
....
Okay the whole scene between the two.. just.. again so well done. (though just getting more and more curious what is wrong with her the more the story goes out of it's way to NOT say it.And is it related to her family?) Both of them having issues, once that are very close to each other in ways, and yet both still filled with pain, unable to talk, as much as talking about it, especially to each other, might help. Not able to bond, not really and yet, still connecting on some level. If barely and with great struggle. But, the hardness in talking helping, making Rose try harder, make her thinking, work at it. So good.
OUCH, yeah that is, quite the revelation for somepony to deal with, and, yeah could see it slipping by unnoticed.
........................................
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WOW!
Just, I, I'm not even sure what more to really say.....
The first part, is completely right. the second.. ehhhh maybe not so much. It all hinging on believing The Princess was in control? I mean, I CAN see how that could help, but not be the sole foundation for it... not so much.
Noooot really. Made it whole lot better then it was? yes, but not fixed. Not with the radiation, taint, monsters, and lack of sunlight. but yes they could have improved things.
And that... is just.. one of the most perfect explanations for why The Wastes are as bad as they are that is possible. It, it does perfectly sum up the root cause of everything. Nopony believes. They don't believe in others, that other ponies can be trusted, can help them. The don't believe in themselves, that they can make any difference, they don't believe that things could get better. And, it's why Littlepip was so vital, why her journey saved everypony. It wasn't the threats she defeated, the ponies she saved directly, not even taking over the SPP and getting The gardens activated. Yes those are what gave ponies a chance at a fresh start, gave them the ability to try again. but it was more then that, it was her selflessness, her willingness to throw herself into harms way over and over, just because it was right. And above all the inspiration she gave to the ponies. Giving them something to believe in once more. Not just in The Stable Dweller, but in the simple fact that one pony CAN make a difference, that the darkness CAN be fought. And though that, believe in each other, in themselves, believe that things can be better, and that it was worth fighting for that chance. THAT is how she saved Equestria, through reminding ponies, what it meant to BE ponies.
And then this. Just just... Stories HAVE power, stories are some of the most powerful things there are. I could ramble a hole comment about just how true this statement is but, really, there is only one thing to trully say, but I've already said it. So yet again. Terry Pratchett would be proud.
So, her reaction to that. Issues with Zebra's before? but good or bad?
Is it something about how she lost her family? Or, was it because of a zebra "Likely Zecora" hat she is still alive while they aren't?
WHAT! okay so, umm WHAT! They can, she can.. take stuff with her? And.. WHAT! Well this is... that.. is some unexpected payoff to her biting his tail and, really nice payoff to the itchy tooth build up. Just, did NOT see that coming!
Given this i Rose, the weakness might actually make her LESS accident prone, but still, that is.. no idea what she even COULD do with it but, simple fact she has it... damn.
And then... cliffhanger! already? Without any change to REALLY relax? To cope? And, what is causing the barking? Why? But, DAMN!
Okay the chapter. Nice little breather after the last few, time to relax, touch base, for Rose and the audience to process what just happened, to try and come to grips with it.
Some really nice character development for Rose. Her dealing with,... everything.... was just, so well done. And, Twink.. poor Twink, yet, she still matters. THIS even more then the previous chapter, shows this story knows what it is doing, and this is how you, if you MUST, you kill a character right, make their death mean something, give it the weight it deserves and, this while think, the effect it's having on Rose, both good an bad, it DID matter. It wasn't just for the sake of killing a character, or for the shock, it was an important, if tragic and saddening, part of the story. And, I have to say this, This story is handling it far better then the Original FOE handled Steelhooves' death. it was a sad, tragic event, but one that mattered. Twinkle Eyes, mattered was important, even if 'Fate' didn't seem to think so. Just so beautifully done...
Really liked Bananas and really REALLY want to learn he story. Just, he interactions with Ros were awkward, but real. And, yeah loved her.
Then the ending and.. well.. we'll see where THAT goes.
I know, right!?
The more this appears the more I like the concept.
Also I'm going to imagine it with Plank's face just because.
Well now... Interesting chapter, indeed. I wish, as ever, I could think of more to say. But yes.
Also now that I know what bananas foster are, HOT DAMN I want some.
Also...
This bit shows up twice.
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lets say, i have read fimfics for quite some time after learning about ponies, from the short greentexts on /mlp/ to big things like fallout equestria project horizons. fallout equestria being the first big one that i wasn't scared of the 600000 words. i knew about fimfiction site, but after i came across the hooves of fate spotlight on equestria daily, your story is what made me finally open up an account on fimfiction. even if it was just because i thought about giving a thumbs up for this fimfic after reading chapter after chapter all day.
Evrytime Misty is mentationed:
pbs.twimg.com/media/BD6_VJUCcAEEwJr.jpg
7314588 Well, if Misty came back too, it makes sense that his hair returned as well.
Cliff is right. FO: E isn't the future -- it's an alternate reality. Shame that Twilight laughed at the idea of alternate realities.
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I was in an Emergency Room once. ICR, 2-3 AM something like that. I was a convenience store clerk & got beat up for daring to complain that some drunken moron threw a Slurpy on the floor for me to clean up. They were bringing me in at the same time they were taking someone out with a sheet pulled over their head. Pointed & said "Oh, now there's an encouraging sight. Inspires real confidence, that does" & started laughing. Start laughing in an Emergency Room & sick as they are, people take time out from their busy schedules to give you weird looks
The barking of dogs...
She should try and bring a material possession back with her.
And 5 years later it would be canon!
Thought this was really funny.
This too.
Sleep is for the weak he lies!
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I admire your ability to plow through all of this.