(With apologies to Steve Earle)
About a thousand years ago, in the old days of yore
I saw my first crystal in the jewelry store
In the jewelry store, when I was thirteen
I thought it was the finest thing I ever had seen
l asked if I could have one when I grew up
Mama dropped a dozen eggs and she really blew up
She really blew up and I didn't understand
Mama said the crystal is the devil's right hand
She really blew up and I didn't understand
Mama said the crystal is the devil's right hand
The devil's right hand, the devil's right hand
Mama said the crystal is the devil's right hand
I got my first crystal as a starry-eyed colt
Shines as bright as lightning but it can’t match a bolt
It can’t match a bolt and I’d soon understand
It can satiate your hunger but it can’t make it end
Then I used dark spells to get a big tiger’s eye
All my friends left me but I didn’t know why
I never knew why and I didn't understand
Sombra says the crystal is the devil's right hand
Never knew why, I didn't understand
Sombra says the crystal is the devil's right hand
The devil's right hand, the devil's right hand
Sombra says the crystal is the devil's right hand
Well I learned about some ponies in a faraway spot
Heard tell of their crystals so I conquered the lot
Conquered the lot, made them my thrall,
Made them mine for crystals and of course I kept it all
The Princess of the Morning came to stop my reign of dread
Asked me why I’d done it, have mercy, I said
Have mercy I said, you don’t understand,
Nothing sought the crystals but the devil's right hand
Have mercy I said, you don’t understand,
Nothing sought the crystals but the devil's right hand
The devil's right hand, the devil's right hand
Nothing sought the crystals but the devil's right hand
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You realize, of course, that this story doesn't end here. It continues with another song you might remember from our friend Johnny Cash:
I hear that train a'comin. Its engine's runnin' warm.
Six ponies step on out and I send them a storm.
I'm stuck in Frozen Prison, and time keeps draggin' on…
But I'll retake the Empire soon as that bubble's gone.
When I was just a young colt, my momma told me, "Lad,
Don't ever touch a crystal, they're the devil's right hand"
I learned the darkest magic for a tiger's eye
Then my momma started crying. (I still do not know why.)
I see them weaving baskets, and watching jousting brawls
That unicorn is looking for my heart inside my halls
I just need to delay them, and then I can break free!
Now I've got you, little dragon —
— Excuse me, sir, did you just throw your WIFE at me?
AAAAAGHHHH!
Well, it's back into my prison,
With its fancy walls of ice
Some curtains or a crystal or a crossword would be nice
Here in Frozen Prison, where I am forced to stay
But some day, some day, some day … yes, I'll get out some day.
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Your move.
2304258
Of course you realize what this means.
We're making a mistake by focusing only on Sombra. The way we're going about this, it looks like the ponies are just one-dimensional antagonists, and that's just sloppy storytelling.
But no, the ponies are deeper than that. In their own version of the story, they're the good guys. They're capable of empathy and reason, and, yes, even love.
But how to illustrate that? Who could write a song about a love so pure and true it could overcome anything in its path—anything at all?
Oh. Right.
I’ve kept a close watch for this crystal heart
I’ve kept my eyes wide open from the start
I’ve kept you and this empire apart
To end this strife, I’ll throw my wife
My aim had better be exceptionally true
This is the hardest throw I ever threw
Our love will start the empire anew
To end this strife, I’ll throw my wife
As sure as night is dark and day is light
She kept the shield online both day and night
In an attempt to stop your evil blight
To end this strife, I’ll throw my wife
The crystal heart has finally been spied
And she has more than strength enough to glide
The time has come to catapult my bride
To end this strife, I’ll throw my wife
2504354
Ehh, don't overthink it -- it's deleted scenes after all
2507940 i was talking about the epilogue from Mortal. the story ended in tradgedy, with no redemption for twilight in the end. it was actually a rather dark sendoff for the mane six.