(With apologies to Steve Earle)
About a thousand years ago, in the old days of yore
I saw my first crystal in the jewelry store
In the jewelry store, when I was thirteen
I thought it was the finest thing I ever had seen
l asked if I could have one when I grew up
Mama dropped a dozen eggs and she really blew up
She really blew up and I didn't understand
Mama said the crystal is the devil's right hand
She really blew up and I didn't understand
Mama said the crystal is the devil's right hand
The devil's right hand, the devil's right hand
Mama said the crystal is the devil's right hand
I got my first crystal as a starry-eyed colt
Shines as bright as lightning but it can’t match a bolt
It can’t match a bolt and I’d soon understand
It can satiate your hunger but it can’t make it end
Then I used dark spells to get a big tiger’s eye
All my friends left me but I didn’t know why
I never knew why and I didn't understand
Sombra says the crystal is the devil's right hand
Never knew why, I didn't understand
Sombra says the crystal is the devil's right hand
The devil's right hand, the devil's right hand
Sombra says the crystal is the devil's right hand
Well I learned about some ponies in a faraway spot
Heard tell of their crystals so I conquered the lot
Conquered the lot, made them my thrall,
Made them mine for crystals and of course I kept it all
The Princess of the Morning came to stop my reign of dread
Asked me why I’d done it, have mercy, I said
Have mercy I said, you don’t understand,
Nothing sought the crystals but the devil's right hand
Have mercy I said, you don’t understand,
Nothing sought the crystals but the devil's right hand
The devil's right hand, the devil's right hand
Nothing sought the crystals but the devil's right hand