Chapter 4: With a little bit of help from my friends
In the depths of Canterlot Palace, the Queen of the Changelings couldn’t believe the situation she was in. Chrysalis had believed her ally and….”beneficial” friend Princess Luna was above something as childish as hazing, much less the crudeness of her methods.
Her trap was set and now she simply waited. Yes, timing was of grave importance in this matter and the Queen would not squander her chance when she got it. Muffled voices grew near, Luna’s was among them. Wait for it…
***
“How could you fail to pull of the most basic prank, Duskwing?” The Princess of the Night’s voice thundered as she walked with her guards. “Surely planting a whoopee cushion where the Queen was going to sit isn’t a challenge for a guard of your caliber.”
The guard hung his head. “I planted the cushion appropriately during dinner, however your sister saw me and used her magic to banish it.”
The Night Princess frowned. The cushion had somehow found it’s way onto her royal throne without her looking last night, embarrassing her immensely at the start of Night Court. It hadn’t helped that Chrysalis had been in attendance to help relieve tension between the noble ponies about the upcoming peace with changelings.
Despite the Queen’s great amusement at her misfortune, Luna knew who the real prankster was and that this particular pony was probably sitting in her chambers still laughing.
The Princess was still thinking of ways to get back at her sister when the nearby closet sprung upon and a great black shape sprung at them, cackling wildly.
***
The next morning the murmur of a growing crowd outside the gates awoke Princess Celestia. With a groan, the Princess pried herself from her bed. Sounded like a big crowd today. After her morning ritual of a bagel and raising the sun, Celestia made her way to the dining room for breakfast. Upon opening the door and taking one look inside, she suddenly felt the urge to simply turn around and fore go breakfast for a day.
“Tia, come on in!” echoed Luna’s voice from the room. Reason number one Celestia wanted to avoid breakfast for a change. She was sure Luna was cooking up some scheme to get back at her for that prank during Night Court.
“Yes, please! Your sister can’t seem to grasp the concept of Strip Poker very well. I’m sure you could give her a few pointers!” snarked a second voice.
Reason number two Celestia didn’t wish to go in, the bug queen herself was in attendance. Together the two were a potent combo. Not two days ago three of her most decorated officers were found in a closet, quite green in the face. Apparently three Changeling guards and three Lunar guards had cornered them and “dutch ovened” them inside the closet. She had no clue what it meant, but if the slight scent that clung to the three were any indication, she really didn’t want to know.
As it was it revealed a new trend that she found both encouraging and distressing at the same time: the Lunar Guards and the Changeling Praetorians were bonding. If her Solar Guard were included she wouldn’t have minded so much, but it seemed as if the tensions caused by the wedding invasion were still present.
The queen’s voice interrupted her train of thought.
“Hey! Sunbutt, get your carcass in here!”
“Chrysalis! Manners!”
Celestia shook her head and promptly opened the door completely. Both Chrysalis and Luna were present a deck of cards between them, but neither wore any clothing. Hesitantly she stepped through the door. No “water over the door” trick.
“You two need to be wearing clothing for strip poker.” She said calmly.
Luna looked thoughtful. “But we don’t wear clothes normally. The most we wear are our regalia and our tiaras and that’s it.”
The Changeling Queen simply looked bored. “You know what? This was a daft idea. Let’s go get that thing we talked about last night done.
The younger alicorn brightened up. “Oh really!? Yes! So who goes first”
Chrysalis merely smiled. “I’ll tell you once we get some place more private.”
Princess Celestia had tried her best to edge away as stealthily as possible for somepony her size and stature and even made it as far as the door before she was detected. “You two sound busy, so I’ll just-mmph!”
The Princess’s mouth was suddenly closed by a blue aura. Soon a series of blue and green tendrils of magic immobilized her as well.
“Before we start anything, is there anything you want to impress upon your dear sister?” asked the large changeling gleefully as she watched the larger sister frantically try to communicate with her sister through an elaborate display of eyebrow waggling.
Luna, having missed her class on eyebrow semaphore, simply shrugged. “Not really. Nothing too bad at least, but enough to make up for that prank last night.”
The Queen looked thoughtful, tapping a chitinous hoof on her chin. “How about we make the legend of Molestia live again for one day.”
Celestia’s eyes practically bugged out as the two leaned in to begin their spellwork, fiendish grins plastered across their faces. Resigning herself to her fate, she closed her eyes.
On the outskirts of the town of Ponyville, an alicorn and a changeling queen hid beneath a veil of magic as they conspired against the owner of the quant cottage beneath a hill. A butter yellow pegasus flitted about, feeding and grooming an entire menagerie of pets. The larger of the two stalkers smiled. Her information was spot on.
A patter of hooves heralded the arrival of her specifically chosen changelings for this prank. Shapeshifting specialists. Most changelings learned how to shift into a pony and left it at that. These four changelings took the ability to transform and made it into an art. The Queen didn't want to admit it, but this quartet could probably teach her a thing or two about transformations.
Five flashes of acidic green fire and instead of the Changeling Queen and her team of changelings, there stood a prim and elegant white unicorn who’s dress and attire spoke of noble upbringing. In her magic she held the leashes to four basset hounds who were sniffing the area, their ears and jowls dragging on the ground.
“Come, my pets, we have work to do!” proclaimed the unicorn in the Queen’s voice. Four canine heads nodded in unison.
***
It was about midday, right after Fluttershy had made sure all her little friends had eaten their lunches when the knock on her door came. After a short delay in which Angel Bunny had rallied her birds to help extract her from the rafters, the timid pony opened the door just a crack, revealing a tall posh looking unicorn mare with a white coat and standing on the other side. She was currently adjusting her stylish navy blue mane in a mirror when the door cracked open.
“H-hello?” Fluttershy stammered from behind the door.
“Ah! Good Afternoon,” said the unicorn, dismissing the mirror, “I’m looking for a Miss…..Flute-orshy?”
“It’s Fluttershy.” Whispered the pony.
The unicorn flicked an ear with a hoof before rotating it towards the pony “I beg your pardon? I couldn’t understand you.”
“I said my name is Fluttershy.” Came the reply, only marginally louder.
The disguised Queen stifled a huff of annoyance. She decided to just go with what she already knew. “Oh! Oh! Fluttershy! My apologies, my dear.”
The shy pegasus gave a faint smile. At least she didn’t have to shout like she normally did to have her name heard. “Th-that’s fine. How can I help you?”
Her answer came in the form of a loud bass woof from the outside. The unicorn’s horn flared pink as she tugged on four leashes.
Curious at the dog’s barking, Fluttershy opened the door up a bit more to reveal the low-set, long-eared forms of basset hounds. Her fear dispersed as she came from behind the door. In a flash the four hounds were in front of her sniffing her hooves, wings, and one adventurous dog even tried to sniff her tail before the unicorn pulled him back with a sharp reprimand.
“Bate! Bad dog! You do not sniff ponies there, understand?!” The hound hung his head and gave a soft whine.
The unicorn’s face softened as she scratched behind his ears, setting the dog’s tail to thumping on the ground. “There, there. Be a good boy and behave while mama talks to the nice mare.”
Fluttershy was impressed. This pony knew how to handle her dogs well. “Oh it’s fine, he’s just curious.”
Chrysalis had to fight hard not to arch her eyebrow at that statement. Clearing her throat, she explained. “I’m in town for the day, but a lot of my business will have me running from shop to shop so I need some place to leave my babies while I’m gone for three hours. I heard you were a pony with a gift for handling animals so I came here. Could you please look out for them?”
The unicorn fixed a pleading look on Fluttershy, one that was enhanced by her dogs joining in. Fluttershy, a pony who is routinely walked on by her own pet rabbit, never stood a chance.
“I’d be happy to look after them, Miss…?”
“Love”
“What are their names?” asked Fluttershy as she petted the dogs on their heads.
Chrysalis smiled. Hook, line, and sinker. Pointing a hoof at each, she gave each of her changelings a code name. “You’ve met Bate. The three in front of you are Larry, Curly, and Moe.”
Pretending to check the sun, Chrysalis started. “Oh! Look at the time! I must be off! Now these four usually like a nap after eating and then are very energetic afterwards so be careful of that. Don’t let them roll in anything as I just had their coats cleaned as well! I’ll be back in three hours! Goodbye, my darlings!”
With that, the pony left. If Fluttershy had watched her long enough, she would have seen a green flash of light. However at that moment, the dogs started baying.
“Oh my! You must be hungry! Let’s get you some food.”
Later, after they had eaten, Fluttershy checked in on the snoozing dogs, smiling as a leg or ear twitched. As Ms. Love had said, the darlings had fallen asleep shortly after eating. When they awoke, the pegasus planned on curtailing their excess energy with a nice walk.
Watching the dogs for a short time, Fluttershy did her best to try and tell them apart, but found it unusually hard with these dogs. Normally she could identify individual animals fairly well, but Bate was the only one she could recognize with his white paws. Larry, Curly, and Moe were all a uniform brown so Fluttershy guessed they were from the same litter.
Thinking the dogs were settled, Fluttershy sat down for a nice cup of tea and some light reading. Before too long, with the aid of a warm sunbeam, she curled up and fell asleep.
***
“WOOF!” The loud bark shattered the peaceful doze Fluttershy had fallen into. As she slowly woke up, a frantic frenzy of other sounds assaulted her ears.
As she had been fearfully expecting, utter chaos awaited Fluttershy upon her return to the waking world. Birds flitted back and forth madly as four lowslung blurs raced around the house at top speed, careening around the rooms as fast as their stubby legs would take them, barking wildly the entire way.
Fluttershy’s pet rabbit, Angel Bunny, lead a small stampede of squirrels, mice, and other small critters as they tried to escape from their hyperactive doom. It was unfortunate for them that the hounds seemed to figure out what they were up to and started chasing them from different directions each time the small herd of animals got close to a window or door.
In the frenzy, Angel got turned around enough that he found himself staring down the long snout of one of the dogs. Before the dog could do anything, Fluttershy’s voice finally rose above the din.
“Bate! You leave that bunny alone!”
The dog looked at Fluttershy and back at the bunny several times as if deciding to continue his mischief or behave.
Feeling awful about having to do so, the pegasus leaned forward to unleash her last resort: The Stare! It came as a rather large surprise to her that instead of whimpering and whining, the dog instead chose to give her face a big wet lick, forcing her to close her eyes or get dog slobber in them.
Before Fluttershy could further enforce her will on the recalcitrant dog, a crash came from the neighboring room. Giving the basset one last look, the pegasus went to see if she could prevent any further destruction of her home.
As she got close to the room the noises were coming from, the door burst open as Angel’s army of small critters camp scampering out. Hot on their tails, came the other dogs who decided to go through the door at the same time, resulting in thrashing three dog pile up. After a moment, they finally disentangled themselves only to have an upset pegasus confront them.
“Larry, Curly, and Moe! You are being very naughty dogs! Sit down and be quiet!”
As if on cue, the hounds sat down at the exact same time. “Good. Now stay there while I get Bate.”
The pegasus wasn’t sure if they would listen, but as she rounded up the fourth hound and came back, she was pleasantly surprised to see them still waiting for her.
“Good boys!” She congratulated them on obedience with scratches behind their ears. As flustered as she was with the animals, she couldn’t stay mad at them. After all, Ms. Love did say they would be hyper after a nap and she had been featherbrained enough to fall asleep instead of attending to them.
“I’m so sorry about this. I shouldn’t have fallen asleep while I had guests.”
The dogs looked at one another as if confused.
“But I know what you really need is a nice walk!”
This was met by four wagging tails.
“Good! Let me get your leashes.”
***
Outside, after Fluttershy got the dog’s leashes, she noticed their naps had taken well past the two-hour mark. It would only be a little while before Ms. Love would be back to collect her dogs.
Seeing no need to make the pony come to her, Fluttershy decided to end their walk in Ponyville.
Taking their leashes into her mouth after placing them on the dog’s collars, the pegasus gave them a slight tug to get the dog’s attentions.
“Come on, boys, let’s go for a walk!”
The pegasus couldn’t help but feel her stomach drop as the dogs seemed to look at one another and nod once.
“Um…Let’s go eas-YEEEEEEEE!”
Before she could finish her sentence, the dogs took off like a team of four-legged rockets. The lightweight pegasus knew she didn’t stand a chance so instead of allowing herself to be dragged over the ground, she spread her wings.
Noticing they now had a pony-shaped kite, the hounds thundered over the bridge in front of her house dragging the hapless Fluttershy along with them.
“S-slow down please!” Fluttershy managed to say around the leashes in her mouth. The dogs paid no attention this time as they raced ahead. Fluttershy found herself having to dodge tree branches more and more often as the dogs raced along the road.
“I said please slow do-Oof!”
Brushing twigs and leaves from her face, Fluttershy finally descended trailing her hooves along the dirt road to help her slow down. Thankfully, the dogs seemed to have used up their energy somewhat and slowed down as well.
Finally able to coax them into stopping, Fluttershy walked up to the line of dogs. “You really shouldn’t drag ponies along like that. It’s very rude and mean.”
The dogs hung their heads bashfully. “There, there. I know you wanted some exercise. Let’s just go at a slower pace.”
As the dogs nodded, she felt at ease. The upside is the dogs had towed her right to the outskirts of Ponyville and the time limit was almost up.
She enjoyed animals, but these four were more than a hooffull and she had other animals to take care of.
“Howdy, Fluttershy!”
Confused and a little surprised to hear her name, Fluttershy turned and looked up the dirt road she had just came from. Sheepishly she remembered the road ran alongside Sweet Apple Acres and a very familiar pony was trotting towards them.
“Oh! Hi, Applejack! I wasn’t expecting to run into you. How are things at the farm?”
The farm pony trotted up next to her. “They’re going good. I’m headin’ to town to fetch a farrier. Big Mac managed to throw a shoe, pulling up a big ole tree stump.”
Fluttershy gasped “Oh my! Sounds painful.”
The cowpony shook her head. “Not really. More inconvenient than anything. Anyway, who are your new friends?”
Fluttershy started. A quick glance showed her three very bored looking bassets. The last was inspecting something on the ground. “Oh how rude of me! Applejack, this is Larry, Curly, Moe and- BATE, DON’T ROLL IN THAT!”
Flutteshy finally realized what the small pile on the ground was and realized the dog’s intentions. Time seemed to slow down as the hound flopped on his back to roll over onto the pile. During that timeless moment Fluttershy couldn’t help but notice how pristine and glossy his coat looked. Without thinking she launched herself at the dog, intending to prevent him from rolling in that.
Splat
As time seemed to speed back up, Fluttershy noticed two things. One was aside from a little dust, the groomed coat of the dog in her hooves was clean. The second was a sensation of something heavy and moist clinging to the fur on her chest.
“Fluttershy! Why in tarnation did you go and do that?!” Applejack scolded as she walked up to her friend. She looked about for a towel. Seeing none, she sighed.
“Let’s get you to th’ farmhouse and cleaned up.”
Fluttershy’s lip quivered. “B-but I’m supposed to meet somepony in town! These are her dogs I’m looking after!”
Applejack gave her a flat look. “You want to town with that on you?”
Fluttershy looked embarrassed. “Well….no, but-“
“But it won’t be necessary, my dear.” A third voice finished.
Both ponies turned to look at the unicorn trotting up the road. Larry, Curly, and Moe were already by her side.
“Ms. Love! I was just coming to meet you!”
“It looks like we’ll just have to meet halfway then,” teased the noble pony. Her eyes widened upon seeing the stain on the pegasus’s chest.
“I saw the whole thing from down the road. I’m so sorry for Bate’s behavior. Let me get that for you.”
A flash of pale pink magic removed the offending stink and stain.
Ms. Love reached into her saddlebags and pulled out a small bag of bits. “Here’s a some bits for your service, Ms. Fluttershy. I hope they weren’t too much trouble.”
Taking the bag Fluttershy found herself in a unique position for once. Did she tell the nice mare her pets were a right hooffull?
In the end she found herself shaking her head. “Not at all. If anything, I’ve gotten a little rusty when dealing with dogs, especially with ones with a lot of energy. Bring them back any time!”
The unicorn flashed her a radiant smile. “I just might do that, Miss. Fluttershy!”
Waving farewell, the unicorn trotted off with her dogs.
After watching until the unicorn disappeared up the road, Applejack turned to her friend. “Did you really just dive into a pile of poop for a dog?
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Mr. Bate... Old pun is old.
"Drug" is not a verb, so unless the soil is made of meth, the word you're looking for is "dragged".
Don't be fooled by my critiques and corrections. I've been enjoying this so far.
More! And sooner! We must see what happens next!
That whole thing was a setup to get Fluttershy to say masturbate.
Why am I wasting my time with this shit?
2563622 Actually the overall prank was animals that Fluttershy couldn't control who ran her ragged. The masturbate joke was the obvious joke that people would keep watching for.....Actually I might change that.
2566685 What do you mean too specific?
What's a matter Judgey-Wudgey?
Wow, dogsitting sure is a crappy job.
...I actually missed the pun with Bate until I started reading the comments. I feel so ashamed
2569402 You didn't miss anything. I changed it to where nopony ever actually calls him Mr. Bate.
heads*
usually*
Pick one.
OH MY GOD LETTER SPAMMING WOULD BE HILARIOUS.
I'd crap myself.
This is amusing, and I was wondering if you had considered a Celestia impersonation for Twilight. There are an incredible number of ways to work with that ranging from sexual favors to forcing her into situations she is unprepared for and from impossible tasks to arbitrary punishments. I am thinking that something sexual would probably be the easiest, but there are plenty of other possibilities. I am thinking a report would be the best because it doubles as a second prank for Celestia, especially if Chrysalis gets Twilight to word it as something for Celestia to try (maybe even with Twilight).
2868542 Some good ideas in there. I won't go full sexual of course, but considering Twilight's first love is books followed by more books, I imagine even light teasing would cause her to have a permanent blush.
2868559 Thanks, that is exactly what I was thinking. You can easily make her an awkward mess without pushing the teen rating.
You might also want to consider using Cloud Kicker because she will do a lot of the work for you (or more accurately for Chrysalis) by pushing for casual sex, and Twilight will not refuse if that is what "Celestia" wants her to do.
2868592 Probably not CK as I don't want to draw too many parallels to Chen's story, but there's always Aloe and Lotus.
What about some of the other characters? I plan on doing Rariity next and considering how light the pranking of Fluttershy was, I was going to make this one a little nastier to compensate.
2868624 Fair enough, she just comes to mind whenever I think of sexual humor because she is very good at it.
I'm not really sure what to do with Rarity, although you could do a work-prank on her with a changeling coming in as a celebrity and running her ragged.
My best idea (in a brutally insensitive sort of way) is to send in a pair of changelings as Applejack's dead parents to really mess her up, but that would probably wind up being more cruel than funny. A slightly less evil method would be to draw Big Mac away and impersonate him, although my only thought here is once again sexual humor with one (or more) of the mane 6 (possibly including AJ).
You could also do something with the Crusaders against Rainbow, AJ, or Rarity because they would probably get along fine with the Changelings and could tag-team for some real insanity. Just imagine what kind of mess you could make with three or four sets of Crusaders.
For Rainbow I only have two vague thoughts. The first is sending in a fake Wonderbolt, and the second is adding copies of ponies to the weather team on a busy day.
The one I have no idea what to do with is Pinkie because I feel like her Pinkie Sense would catch changelings. If not you could do something with changelings swapping forms to create a horde of new ponies that vanish before she can throw a party, but I cannot see her falling for that ruse.
I can't help but think that impersonating parents or alleged past lovers would be a good prank. Spread a few (or more) embarrassing stories that they can't keep up with or easily disprove...