A Dragon's Depression

by rarityxspike

Chapter 1 - The Problems Begin

Spike was just laying in bed thinking of Rarity. He couldn't go to sleep with Rarity on his mind and before he knew it, it was morning and he was hearing hoof steps.

"Morning Spike" Twilight said as she passed Spike on the way down the stairs.

"Morning" said Spike with a yawn shortly after. Twilight looked at Spike, clearly concerned about her number one assistant

"Spike, couldn't you go to sleep last night?". Spike looked at Twilight and said,

"No. Not really".

Twilight frowned in worry as she made her way into the kitchen to prepare breakfast for her and Spike. Spike sat down at the table trying to forget about Rarity, but this seemed impossible to the small purple dragon. Spike still had feelings for Rarity, in fact they have grew stronger over the years, but it seemed to him Rarity had pushed his feelings aside, this felt like rejection to Spike. So when Spike thought of Rarity (which was all the time) he'd get depressed and could only think of 'rejection' and this had recently effected his self-esteem.

Twilight came in with a plate full of hay fries and a daffodil and daisy sandwich which were both surrounded by a lavender aura. With her magic, she placed the plate of hay fries in front of Spike and placed the daffodil and daisy sandwich in front of herself when she sat down. Spike looked at the hay fries and said,

"Twilight"

Twilight lifted her head to look at Spike,

"Yes Spike"

Spike looked at Twilight and done his best to hide that he was upset,

"I'm not really hungry"

Twilight immediately got concerned, since the young dragon has always ate his food,

"Spike, you didn't eat your dinner last night and now you're not eating your breakfast. What's wrong?"

Spike just shrugged and pushed his hay fries away from him before he got up and started his daily chores.

"Spike, what are you doing?" Twilight asked when she saw him get up.

"My chores"

Twilight was really concerned, her 'number one assistant' couldn't sleep and wasn't eating.

"Well... be sure to have a big lunch then, okay?"

"Okay Twilight" Spike faced Twilight and smiled the best he could.

Twilight ate her daffodil and daisy sandwich and started an assignment that was due next week.

A few hours had gone by and Spike had just finished dusting the books. Twilight was lost in a book until she was distracted by her rumbling stomach. She looked at the clock and was surprised at the time.

"Wow! Two O'Clock already? No wonder I'm hungry"

Twilight went upstairs to see if Spike was done. When Twilight got upstairs she saw Spike sat on the floor.

"Spike, I'm going to get lunch started, do you mind helping?"

Spike stood up and looked at Twilight

"I'd love to help"

Spike weakly smiled and followed Twilight into the kitchen. Twilight was getting her salad ready. Spike saw Twilight was making salad and said,

"Oh, Twilight I can make the dressing, if you want"

"No it's okay Spike, I can do that after. You go ahead and make your lunch"

"Oh, okay Twilight"

"And Spike..." Twilight looked at the purple dragon very seriously.

"Yes Twilight"

"Remember what I said this morning, have a big lunch, okay?"

Spike looked at the serious pony and sighed

"Okay Twilight, big lunch it is"

Twilight grinned as she finished up her salad and started on the salad dressing.

Spike just decided to warm up his hay fries he didn't eat this morning. When Spike was finished warming up his hay fries, Twilight was finished with her salad.

"Finally done. What about you Spike?"

"I'm done as well" Spike responded before sitting down at the table. Twilight sat beside him and started to eat her salad.

Spike hesitated for a moment, but eventually started eating his hay fries, very slowly. Twilight looked at him and was at least happy that he had stopped ignoring his food. She had just finished her meal when there was a knock on the door.

"I'll get it Twilight"

"No, you finish your fries, I'll get it"

When Twilight made it to the door there was another knock. Twilight opened the door to see her friend Rarity

"Oh, Hi Rarity"

"Hello Twilight, is Spike here?"

"Uhh... Sure, how come?"

"Well, orders in the boutique are building up and up and I was wondering if Spike wouldn't mind helping me, if that's okay with you of course "

"Of course it is, do you want to come in? Spike's just finishing his lunch"

"Oh, thank you Twilight"

Twilight stepped aside to let Rarity in. Twilight led Rarity into the kitchen where they saw Spike eating his hay fries.

"Hello Spike"

Spike looked up to see the mare of his dreams standing there with her beautiful combed mane and her pure white coat. Spike smiled at the sight of Rarity

"Afternoon Rarity, what brings you here?"

"Well, I wanted to see if you wouldn't mind helping me in the boutique"

"I'd love to, is that okay Twilight?"

Twilight walked over to Spike

"Yes, it's okay"

"Alright, well I better be going then"

Rarity stopped Spike with her hoof

"Don't you want to finish your hay fries, darling"

Spike looked at his hay fries and shook his head

"No, I've had enough"

"Spike, you've hardly ate anything"

"But Twilight, I'm full"

Twilight wasn't too concerned since the young dragon had eaten.

"Alright, go and help Rarity"

"Thank you Twilight"

Spike started to make his way to the door.

"Thank you for letting me borrow Spike, Twilight"

"No problem Rarity"

Twilight moved closer to Rarity and quietly said,

"Can you keep an eye on him while he's round yours? He hasn't really been eating much"

"Sure thing, Twilight"

Rarity met Spike at the door.

"Shall we go then Spike?"

Spike followed the beautiful mare outside

"Bye Twilight"

"Bye Spike"

Twilight waved until Spike and Rarity were out of view. Then walked in the library and closed the door. Still worried about Spike.

What's going on with you Spike? You've always told me everything, what are you hiding?

Comments

[Kiro0613]

This looks good. But a bad sign is when I have an error report, and I havn't even read it yet.

Spike's depression has lead him to do something that puts he life on the line

It's in the short description. "His," not "he." Probably just a typo. Will read.

[dwpeters84]

Me likey
Me want more

[Kiro0613]

So far, pretty good. I'll certainly be watching this story. Now, let's get down to business. *Cracks proverbial knuckles*
Writing: 84/100 Definitely could be a little better. Could be a LOT worse. Looks about average to me. I'd keep going with this.
Grammar, etc.: 94/100 Saw a pretty big error, but I already gave you that one. (2167908) Nothing else, as far as I can see.
Plot: 82/100 Overused theme, but you play a nice take on it. I like that.
Overall: 260/300 Not a bad score. Keep going, I'll be tracking.

[ChowderT]

Not much happens but I guess your just setting things up.
I am interested though.

[A Chiller State of Mind]

thids caught my attention, cant wait to see it play out

[Darklordtheslayer]

Pretty good so far, I'll be happy to see where this goes.

[rarityxspike]

2167908 Yes it was a typo in the small description

[Max]

I'm not sure why but i hate when some people overuse the "OK" and use it in almost every single reply from the characters, besides that, i'm looking forward to the next chapter.

[Kenshi]

Nice chapter, i hope to see the next chapter soon

[GAPDashie]

2168353 It's a pet peeve of mine too, I think the short version just looks really awkward. The full word 'okay' works much better in my opinion.

[Brony Bro]

im interested please make another chapter please and guy's cheack out my fan fic to here is the link http://www.fimfiction.net/story/86018/a-colts-journey-to-success

[Osama Bin Laden]

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/86149/the-greatest-islamic-pony

[Metroid Prime]

2169008why are you named after a terrorist

[Osama Bin Laden]

2169314
I am not dead....

[spikethed]

Too many OK's other then that it is ok.

[Christian2400]

Good start, looking forward to future chapters.
Just one itty bitty little thing.
That's a Lot of "OK" 's, 9 of 'em to be exact, seems to be kinda reused, especially when in Caps form where they just stand out.
Not to utterly annoy your bum off, but can you try to make the OK's look less Caps lock-like in the future? or just use the normal form of the word?
It seemed to me they shouted "OKAY" every time the word was used.

[Evil Paladin]

This felt kinda like a chapter 2 or an "En Medias Res" start.
Especially the first paragraph.
Tracking to see how this goes

[Rarityfan87]

I see less spelling mistakes. Still a great story! Looking forward to chapter 2!

[Path_of_cloud]

This hurts my eyes. Either add a extra space between paragraphs or hit the button at the top of the editing page to indent. Your paragraphs need more length, mostly because you have what should be one split into 2 or 3. Repetition issues throughout, prime example

Twilight looked at Spike with a concerned look in her eye and asked,

Change it up to something like, "Twilight looked at Spike, clearly concerned about her number one assistant." You really need to use more pronouns. Example,

Spike hesitated for a moment, but eventually started eating his hay fries, very slowly. Twilight looked at Spike and was very happy he started to eat something. Twilight had just finished her salad when there was a knock on the door.

This sounds better, "Spike hesitated for a moment, but eventually started eating his hay fries, very slowly. Twilight looked at him and was at least happy that he had stopped ignoring his food. She had just finished her meal when there was a knock on the door." There's a possibility this could be as great as people are claiming, but, at the moment, it just hurts to look at. Also, you used the word salad seven times in about two-hundred words

[Author of MADness]

My only wish is his for this o became a SpiLight

[Ignaltus]

HEY? HEY, YOU? YOU, LITTLE PONY! I SAY: HURRY, ANOTHER CHAPTER!

[rarityxspike]

2172339 Calm down LOL

[Dragon Master Spike]

I will read this when there's more.

[rarityxspike]

2179383 You want second chapter that bad? LOL

[AL]

waaa D: i want read more !! plx keep it up this fic !! :DD

[mlpfimfan5192]

Amazing!!!

[Poputrash]

Boy, that was some speed reading!