A Dragon's Depression

by rarityxspike

First published

Spike's depression has lead him to do something that puts his life on the line.

TW: Eating Disorders and mentions of death

Spike's feelings for Rarity have grown stronger over the years. He feels like Rarity is just ignoring his feelings, for Spike, this feeling like rejection. This causes minor depression in the little dragon, but as the 'rejection' continues, it could lead to 'life-threatening depression.

Fluttershy makes a few appearances.

Chapter 1 - The Problems Begin

View Online

Spike was just laying in bed thinking of Rarity. He couldn't go to sleep with Rarity on his mind and before he knew it, it was morning and he was hearing hoof steps.

"Morning Spike" Twilight said as she passed Spike on the way down the stairs.

"Morning" said Spike with a yawn shortly after. Twilight looked at Spike, clearly concerned about her number one assistant

"Spike, couldn't you go to sleep last night?". Spike looked at Twilight and said,

"No. Not really".

Twilight frowned in worry as she made her way into the kitchen to prepare breakfast for her and Spike. Spike sat down at the table trying to forget about Rarity, but this seemed impossible to the small purple dragon. Spike still had feelings for Rarity, in fact they have grew stronger over the years, but it seemed to him Rarity had pushed his feelings aside, this felt like rejection to Spike. So when Spike thought of Rarity (which was all the time) he'd get depressed and could only think of 'rejection' and this had recently effected his self-esteem.

Twilight came in with a plate full of hay fries and a daffodil and daisy sandwich which were both surrounded by a lavender aura. With her magic, she placed the plate of hay fries in front of Spike and placed the daffodil and daisy sandwich in front of herself when she sat down. Spike looked at the hay fries and said,

"Twilight"

Twilight lifted her head to look at Spike,

"Yes Spike"

Spike looked at Twilight and done his best to hide that he was upset,

"I'm not really hungry"

Twilight immediately got concerned, since the young dragon has always ate his food,

"Spike, you didn't eat your dinner last night and now you're not eating your breakfast. What's wrong?"

Spike just shrugged and pushed his hay fries away from him before he got up and started his daily chores.

"Spike, what are you doing?" Twilight asked when she saw him get up.

"My chores"

Twilight was really concerned, her 'number one assistant' couldn't sleep and wasn't eating.

"Well... be sure to have a big lunch then, okay?"

"Okay Twilight" Spike faced Twilight and smiled the best he could.

Twilight ate her daffodil and daisy sandwich and started an assignment that was due next week.

A few hours had gone by and Spike had just finished dusting the books. Twilight was lost in a book until she was distracted by her rumbling stomach. She looked at the clock and was surprised at the time.

"Wow! Two O'Clock already? No wonder I'm hungry"

Twilight went upstairs to see if Spike was done. When Twilight got upstairs she saw Spike sat on the floor.

"Spike, I'm going to get lunch started, do you mind helping?"

Spike stood up and looked at Twilight

"I'd love to help"

Spike weakly smiled and followed Twilight into the kitchen. Twilight was getting her salad ready. Spike saw Twilight was making salad and said,

"Oh, Twilight I can make the dressing, if you want"

"No it's okay Spike, I can do that after. You go ahead and make your lunch"

"Oh, okay Twilight"

"And Spike..." Twilight looked at the purple dragon very seriously.

"Yes Twilight"

"Remember what I said this morning, have a big lunch, okay?"

Spike looked at the serious pony and sighed

"Okay Twilight, big lunch it is"

Twilight grinned as she finished up her salad and started on the salad dressing.

Spike just decided to warm up his hay fries he didn't eat this morning. When Spike was finished warming up his hay fries, Twilight was finished with her salad.

"Finally done. What about you Spike?"

"I'm done as well" Spike responded before sitting down at the table. Twilight sat beside him and started to eat her salad.

Spike hesitated for a moment, but eventually started eating his hay fries, very slowly. Twilight looked at him and was at least happy that he had stopped ignoring his food. She had just finished her meal when there was a knock on the door.

"I'll get it Twilight"

"No, you finish your fries, I'll get it"

When Twilight made it to the door there was another knock. Twilight opened the door to see her friend Rarity

"Oh, Hi Rarity"

"Hello Twilight, is Spike here?"

"Uhh... Sure, how come?"

"Well, orders in the boutique are building up and up and I was wondering if Spike wouldn't mind helping me, if that's okay with you of course "

"Of course it is, do you want to come in? Spike's just finishing his lunch"

"Oh, thank you Twilight"

Twilight stepped aside to let Rarity in. Twilight led Rarity into the kitchen where they saw Spike eating his hay fries.

"Hello Spike"

Spike looked up to see the mare of his dreams standing there with her beautiful combed mane and her pure white coat. Spike smiled at the sight of Rarity

"Afternoon Rarity, what brings you here?"

"Well, I wanted to see if you wouldn't mind helping me in the boutique"

"I'd love to, is that okay Twilight?"

Twilight walked over to Spike

"Yes, it's okay"

"Alright, well I better be going then"

Rarity stopped Spike with her hoof

"Don't you want to finish your hay fries, darling"

Spike looked at his hay fries and shook his head

"No, I've had enough"

"Spike, you've hardly ate anything"

"But Twilight, I'm full"

Twilight wasn't too concerned since the young dragon had eaten.

"Alright, go and help Rarity"

"Thank you Twilight"

Spike started to make his way to the door.

"Thank you for letting me borrow Spike, Twilight"

"No problem Rarity"

Twilight moved closer to Rarity and quietly said,

"Can you keep an eye on him while he's round yours? He hasn't really been eating much"

"Sure thing, Twilight"

Rarity met Spike at the door.

"Shall we go then Spike?"

Spike followed the beautiful mare outside

"Bye Twilight"

"Bye Spike"

Twilight waved until Spike and Rarity were out of view. Then walked in the library and closed the door. Still worried about Spike.

What's going on with you Spike? You've always told me everything, what are you hiding?

Chapter 2 - Working too Hard

View Online

Rarity looked at Spike. She could see he wasn't his energetic self.

"Spike, you look a bit tired, has Twilight been asking you to do too much?"

She chuckled slightly, implying it was a joke. Spike looked up at the mare to see her smiling. As Spike gave a weak chuckle, Rarity's smile soon changed to a serious look.

"Something wrong Spikey?".

Spike looked at the mare's ocean blue eyes. It didn't take him long to realise he was staring.

"No. Nothing's wrong". Rarity was not convinced and glared at the dragon. Spike frowned. With a sigh he said,

"I wasn't able to sleep last night". Rarity immediately got concerned.

"Why not? What's wrong, darling?". Spike didn't want Rarity to know more so he... lied.

"I guess I just wasn't tired".

Rarity, as much as she hated to do it, gave up and carried on walking. As Rarity continued, Spike couldn't believe what he had just done, he lied to one of his closest friends, or even worse, to Rarity, the love of his life. Within seconds Spike was back by Rarity's side following her to the boutique.

They reached the boutique within a few minutes. Rarity unlocked her door and walked in. Spike followed the beautiful mare into her exquisite boutique. As Spike followed Rarity into her inspiration room, he saw fabrics rolls on the floor and needles all over the table. It was more of a mess than usual. Or what Rarity liked to call it 'organized chaos'.

"Wow! You've been busy these last couple months"

Rarity looked around at Spike and smiled.

"Yes, indeed I have" Spike smiled back.

"No wonder we haven't seen you"

Rarity tried to keep her smile when Spike said this.

"Yes. It feels like I haven't seen you, Twilight or the others in ages"

"I felt the same way about you"

It didn't take Spike long to realise what he just said.

"I mean we all did. We all missed seeing you"

Rarity chuckled at how quickly the dragon had 'corrected' himself.

Rarity walked over to a shelf and picked up a piece of paper with her magic and handed it to Spike. Spike looked at the paper then looked up at Rarity with a puzzled face.

"What's wrong, darling?"

Spike looked at the paper once more before speaking.

"Nothing, I just thought that you wanted help with your dresses"

"Oh, you will be as soon as you've done everything on that list"

Spike smiled and got to work. Spike looked at the list, the first thing he had to do was to clean Rarity's room. Spike made his way upstairs wondering why Rarity would need her room cleaned. The door squeaked a little as Spike pushed it and walked in. The sight before him was a massive shock, her bed was unmade, her clothes were all over the floor, "This isn't like Rarity" Spike thought to himself. He brushed it off and got to work. Spike started by making Rarity's bed, he placed her pillows correctly then picked up her blanket, made sure it was straight and placed it over her sheets tucking in any excess blanket under her mattress just how Rarity liked it. As Spike started to pick Rarity's clothes off the floor he started to feel a bit dizzy so he sat on the floor for a few minutes to recover before picking up Rarity's clothes again.

Rarity was busy making a dress for one of her clients when suddenly Twilight's words echoed in her head 'Can you keep an eye on him while he's round yours? He hasn't really been eating much'.

"Oh my!" she gasped as she slowly ran upstairs to check on Spike. When she was at the top of her stairs she saw her bedroom door was open. She made her way into the bedroom.

"Spikey? Are you in here?". The sound of Rarity's voice made Spike shoot straight back up on to his feet. When Spike saw Rarity he said,

"Hey Rarity, just picking up your clothes" Spike smiled

"Thank you, darling. I just came up to see if you were okay"

Spike gave Rarity a warm smile.

"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you Rarity"

Rarity smiled back at Spike.

"Okay, well, I'm just downstairs if you need me"

"Okay Rarity"

Spike watched the mare as she left the room. As Spike heard Rarity walk downstairs he sighed in relief.

After Spike finished cleaning Rarity's room he took her dirty clothes downstairs to wash them. He got to the kitchen and saw piles of dishes, taller than him. The young dragon sighed. He separated the whites from the colours and put the whites in the washing machine. Spike started on the dishes and had a hard time reaching the top ones. As he was doing the dishes he thought to himself 'Wow! Rarity must be really busy if she hasn't had time to do some cleaning.' Once he finished the dishes he looked at his list and checked off 'Clean Room' next was 'Clean Dishes'. Spike chuckled to himself quietly 'Looks likes I'm psychic'. Spike continued to look at the list, the next thing he had to do was 'Mop the Floors'. Spike went to grab a mop on his way he felt a bit funny. His legs were shaking, his breaths were irregular and his purple scales were going pale.

Rarity just finished yet another dress.

"Ah! Perfect! Right, that is... 17 finished dresses"

She got some materials ready for her 18th dresses, when she thought

"Oh, I better see how Spike is doing"

Rarity heard him come down the stairs a while ago. She checked in the kitchen, but saw nothing, but clean dishes. As she went into the next room the sight before her scared and worried her.

"Spike?"

She saw his pale purple scales, ran up to him, turned him around to see his legs shaking, and could see he was breathing irregularly.

"Spike?!? What's wrong? Speak to me, darling"

Spike could hear Rarity, but didn't have the energy to speak. He just wanted to say 'Rarity, I'm fine', but he wasn't. His vision got blurrier and blurrier.

"SPIIIKEEEYYY!!!" was the last thing Spike heard before he blacked out and fell to the floor.

Chapter 3 - Over The Top

View Online

"RARITY!!!" Spike shouted waking up.

Spike sat up sweating. He was in his basket in the library. He heard hoof steps coming up the stairs. The door swung open, it was Twilight looking very worried.

"Spike are you okay?"

Spike took a few deep breaths trying to slow down his racing heart before speaking.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry Twilight"

She walked over to Spike and hugged him. Spike started to think and became confused as to why he was at the library.

"Umm... Twilight?"

Twilight broke the hug and looked at Spike.

"Yes Spike?"

"What happened? Why am I here?"

Twilight was trying to forget the moment she witnessed, but Spike's question had made it creep back in.

__________________________

Twilight was reading a book called 'The Diets of a Dragon'

"Dragon Fasting? Hmm... this may hel--"

The library door swung open so fast Twilight thought is was Rainbow Dash until she saw Rarity with tears streaming down her face.

"Twilight!" Rarity managed to say through her sobs.

Twilight, who was concerned, walked closer to the door where Rarity was.

"Rarity, what's wrong? Where's Spike?"

Rarity was crying so much, Twilight couldn't understand her. As Twilight went to comfort Rarity, Rarity pushed her off and looked up at her.

"Spike's... in... the hospital"

Rarity continued to let tears stream down her face

"WHAT!? I told you to keep an eye on him"

Rarity looked at Twilight with disbelief

"I did, but when I checked on him, the second time, he was all pale and wasn't answering me"

__________________________

"TWILIGHT!"

Twilight snapped out of her thought and looked at Spike

"Yes Spike?"

"You never answered my question. Why am I here?"

Twilight didn't want to scare Spike, but knew she couldn't lie to him either. Twilight sighed before answering the young dragon's question.

"Spike, when you were at Rarity's boutique working for her you... fainted and Rarity had to take you to the hospital"

After Twilight finished speaking she started to remember Spike laying in that hospital bed a couple of hours ago. The thought just made her want to cry, but she managed to hold her tears back. Spike looked at Twilight and gave her a hug which she returned instantly.

"It's okay, Twilight. I'm alright now"

Twilight broke the hug and looked at her 'brother'

"Spike, I'm not convinced you are. I have a feeling this is just the beginning"

Spike just looked puzzled, but before he could ask Twilight what she meant she was on her way out his room.

"Get some more rest Spike. Hopefully things will be better in the morning"

__________________________

Spike slowly opened his eyes and looked at the clock.

"Two-fifteen am!"

Spike jumped out of bed, being careful not to wake Twilight.

"I can't believe it. I was meant to get up at two"

Spike got down on to the floor and started doing crunches.

"1... 2... 3..."

All you could hear from Spike's room was counting, motivation and insults about himself. This went on for an hour or two.

"99... 100"

Spike stood up, proud of himself.

"Okay, that's a hundred crunches, fifty push-ups, fifty leg lifts, a hundred sit-ups and thirty minutes of jogging on the spot"

Spike walked weakly to his bed. Once he got there he just fell asleep.

__________________________

Twilight opened the door to Spike's room slowly and quietly. She walked over to the purple dragon and started to cry, she couldn't hold back her tears, every time she looks at Spike led down, she can see him laying in that hospital bed.

"What's wrong, Spike?" Twilight started

"Why won't you talk to me?"

Twilight knew she was talking to herself, but she wished Spike would just talk to her. As she walked out of Spike's room she sighed and walked downstairs.

"So... he's still asleep?" said a soft and elegant voice

"Yeah Rarity, he's still asleep"

"Twilight I can't help, but feel responsible for this"

Rarity looked down at her cup clearly upset. Not long after, Twilight sat beside her.

"Rarity I told it's not anypony's fault"

"But Twilight, you said he hadn't eaten much and I made him work"

Twilight gave Rarity a comforting smile.

"Look Rarity I--"

"GAAAAAAH!"

Twilight was cut short when she heard a scream from upstairs. Twilight and Rarity quickly looked at each other with looks of horror on both their faces.

"Oh my goodness, Spike"

They ran up the stairs, Rarity behind Twilight. When they finally reached Spike's bedroom door

Twilight swung the door open.

"Spike?"

Spike shot up and ran over to Twilight.

"Twilight, I'm so sorry I overslept. I'll get to work right away"

Spike went to go downstairs, but Twilight stopped him with her hoof.

"Spike, why did you scream?"

Spike looked at Twilight who had a concerned look on her face.

"Because I overslept and I'm late doing my chores"

Twilight and Rarity sighed in relief. Spike noticed Rarity standing next to Twilight.

"Oh, uhh... Hey Rarity, sorry I didn't see you there"

Rarity smiled at Spike.

"Oh that's quite alright Spike"

Spike smiled back. Then a thought crossed his mind.

"Oh my gosh! Rarity! I didn't finish helping you at your boutique did I?"

Rarity smiled faded as she remembered what happened.

"Uhh... No Spike, you didn't, but it's fine"

Spike sighed clearly disappointed with himself. Then he remembered what he got up for.

"Well I better get on with my chores"

Again, Twilight stopped him with her hoof. Spike looked at Twilight, confused.

"No Spike. The doctor said you have to take it easy for at least forty-eight hours, which means no chores"

Spike looked at Rarity then back at Twilight.

"Okay, no working"

Twilight and Rarity smiled at the dragon.

"Well do you want me to make you some lunch?"

"Oh, no thank you Twilight"

Twilight smiled.

"Spike, I'm afraid that was a rhetorical question. I'm making you lunch"

Spike started to feel scared.

"Wait, Twil--"

Twilight cut him off.

"NO SPIKE!!!" she shouted making Spike and Rarity jump. Twilight sighed.

"I'm sorry, but Spike you're eating whether you like it or not"

Spike was becoming more terrified every minute. Twilight made her way downstairs to make Spike's lunch. Spike walked over to his bed at just sat down terrified and upset. Rarity walked over to him, she sat next to him

"Please don't welcome it, Spike. Fight it."

Spike didn't understand a word Rarity said, but before he could ask what she meant she was on her way downstairs.

"Be sure to come down soon, Spike" said the elegant pony as she was on her way downstairs.

Spike faced his door.

"Okay" he said quite loud.

Spike sat there for a few more seconds, then when he was sure nopony was in sight he got up and reached under his bed and pulled out some scales. When he managed to pull them out all the way he stood on them.

"SIX STONE AND FIVE POUNDS!!!"

Spike frowned.

"I'm never going to be four stone"

"Spike! Your lunch is ready!" Twilight called from downstairs.

Spike quickly pushed the scales back underneath his bed and went downstairs.

When Spike was downstairs he walked in to the kitchen to see a salad sprinkled with tiny sapphire shards.

"Why Sapphires, out of all gems?" he mumbled under his breath.

"Come along Spike, you can sit next to me" Rarity said she was patting the chair next to her.

Spike walked over to the chair next to Rarity and sat down. Not long after he sat down Twilight came in with two salads without gem shards. Twilight, with her magic, placed one salad in front of Rarity and one in front of where she was sitting. It wasn't long before Twilight and Rarity started eating.

"Twilight, I must say, this sauce is simply divine"

Twilight, who was still chewing, finished her mouthful before speaking.

"Thank you, Rarity"

Twilight looked at Spike who was just looking at his salad.

"Spike, please eat"

Spike looked up at Twilight then back at his salad. He started taking out the Sapphire shards. Twilight saw what he was doing.

"Spike, please don't"

Spike thought to himself 'I did do a lot of exercise this morning I guess I could eat this. Spike put the shards he'd taken out back in his salad and started to eat it. Twilight was really happy Spike was eating. Rarity looked more pleased than Twilight, although her smile sooner turned into a frown.

"Spike...?"

Spike, not wanting to be rude, finished his mouthful before answering Rarity.

"Yes, Rarity"

Rarity looked at Spike clearly upset.

"I would like to apologise"

Spike was confused. What could the mare of his dreams possibly be sorry for?

"What for?"

Rarity looked down then back up to Spike.

"For making you work when you were... well, you know"

"Rarity, you didn't make me work. You asked me if I wanted to and I said yes, with Twilight's permission of course"

Rarity thought about what Spike said, and she knew he was right.

"I know Spike, but I still feel like I should apologise"

Spike smiled at Rarity.

"Well, okay. Then I accept your apology"

Rarity smiled at Spike.

"Thank you Spike"

Spike returned the smile. Then they both returned to their lunches.

When Spike was finished he felt guilty for eating. What have you done? You idiot. A voice came from somewhere Spike looked around, but only saw Twilight and Rarity eating. You're never going to reach your goal if you keeping shoveling food in your mouth. Spike looked around once more, but only saw Twilight and Rarity.

"Can you guys hear that?"

Twilight looked up at Spike.

"Hear what, Spike?"

"That voice"

Twilight and Rarity stopped eating for a moment to listen for a voice. They waited and waited, but nothing.

"I can't hear anything, Spike"

"Neither can I, darling. Maybe it was your imagination"

Spike smiled.

"Yeah, maybe. Uhh... Twilight, may I be excused"

Twilight nodded at Spike since she had a mouthful. Spike got up and started to walk to his room. He turned and faced Rarity.

"I guess, I'll see you again then, Rarity"

Rarity looked at Spike.

"I guess so"

Spike smiled back and went upstairs to his room.

Chapter 4 - The Voice

View Online

Thank you everyone for your kind words. In return I finished Chapter 4. Enjoy.



Spike entered his bedroom closing the door behind him.

You're so fat!

"What? No I'm not!"

Ha! You're stupid too, look at yourself

Spike looked in a nearby mirror, he saw a small, fat, pathetic dragon.

"Looks like you're right"

Spike was on the verge of tears.

Don't worry, I can help you. I'm your friend

"Really?"

Of course, I'm always here for you

Spike was having a conversation with 'the voice' until he was interrupted by a knock on his bedroom door.

"Spike, darling. Are you okay?"

Rarity became worried when there wasn't a response. She decided to knock again.

"Spike, is it okay to come in?"

A few seconds later, Spike opened his bedroom door and walked back to his bed and sat down. Rarity followed him and sat next to him. Rarity was waiting to see if Spike would say anything, but after a moment of silence she decided to speak.

"Spike, I want you to look at me"

Spike slowly looked up at Rarity.

"Spike, please promise me one thing"

"What's that, Rarity?"

Rarity closed her eyes and sighed, when she opened her eyes she held on to one of Spike's claws.

"Please, don't forget who your friends are"

Spike gave Rarity a warm smile.

"I promise Rarity"

Rarity returned the smile.

"Thank you Spike"

Rarity let go of Spike's claw and looked at his arm, although it wasn't really thin, she could tell he had lost weight. Rarity couldn't hold her tears in anymore, so to prevent Spike from seeing, she got up and started to walked towards the door.

"See you again, Spike"

"See you again, Rarity"

As Rarity made her way downstairs, she let a few tears escape her eyes. By the time Rarity was downstairs she had a very thin, black line running down from each eye to each cheek. Twilight saw Rarity had been crying and walked over to her.

"Rarity, what's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing Twilight, I'm just worried about Spike"

Twilight sighed and faced then floor.

"Me too"

Rarity cleared her throat to get Twilight's attention, Twilight lifted her head to look at Rarity.

"Well Twilight, thank you for the delightful meal, but I must get back to my boutique"

"Oh, of course, Rarity"

Twilight followed Rarity to the door.

Rarity opened the door, but before she left she turned around to face Twilight. She looked at Twilight with watery eyes.

"Twilight, if anything should happen--"

"You'll be the first to know"

Twilight gave Rarity a warm smile, which Rarity returned.

"Thank you Twilight"

They both smiled, and then Rarity left and made her way to the boutique. Twilight shut the door and sighed, still worrying about Spike.

Spike started to exercise and 'the voice' was encouraging him.

"...99 ...100"

Come on, a hundred more

"But I've already done three hundred"

Okay, fine. Jog on the. spot, GO!

Spike started jogging on the spot, but he was so exhausted he kept stopping every five minutes, but 'the voice' kept him jogging.

After about three hours of exercise Spike heard Twilight coming up the stairs he immediately stopped exercising and wiped his forehead with a towel. Spike heard Twilight get closer and closer to his bedroom door until...

*Knock knock*

"Spike...!"

Spike got up and opened his bedroom door. Spike looked at Twilight, she seemed very happy.

"Spike, dinner will be ready soon. I'd like you to come down"

Spike didn't like the idea of dinner, but he didn't want to make Twilight angry and upset again, so he went downstairs.

You're gonna eat?

"I don't really have a choice"

Yeah, you do. Your life, your body, your choices

"Yeah, but--"

Listen! You can't eat. If you do, all that exercise you did will be a waste

When Spike was downstairs he stayed silent he didn't want Twilight to think he was talking to himself. Spike made his way into the kitchen.

"I'm down" Spike informed.

Twilight looked around at Spike and smiled. Spike was wondering why Twilight was in a good mood.

"Twilight, has something good happened?"

Twilight chuckled before moving aside to show a cake half covered with tiny shards of Rubies, Sapphires and Amethysts. Spike's eyes were as wide as they could go.

"I'm guessing you like it?"

"Yeah"

"Good. Oh yeah, Spike, can you start setting up th--"

Spike dashed off before Twilight finished her question.

"...table. I guess that's a yes"

A few seconds past before Twilight came in with the cake. The sight before her was a surprise. Spike had already set the table and was waiting for his part of the cake.

"Wow! Spike that was fast"

Twilight placed the gem half of the cake on the plate in front Spike and placed other half on a plate in front of her. Spike looked at the cake before taking a bite out of it.

"Thank you, Twilight for the cake" Spike said after he finished his mouthful.

"You're welcome, Spike"

Twilight was really pleased with Spike, he didn't hesitate and wasn't eating ridiculously slow.

After they both finished their half of the cake, they both went to the living room. They both sat on the couch. The voice spoke again.

This is pathetic

Spike stayed silent not wanting Twilight to become suspicious.

Okay, smart guy

Spike felt his whole body tingle, but brushed it off. Twilight and Spike were sitting quite close on the couch.

"You know Spike, I love moments like this"

"Moments like what, Twilight?"

Twilight looked at Spike.

"Like this, when it's just you and me"

Suddenly the cake popped into Spike's mind.

"Twilight, I need to use the bathroom"

"Okay, Spike"

Spike got up and then looked back at Twilight.

"I love those moments to"

Spike gave Twilight a warm smile before going upstairs to the bathroom.

Spike opened the bathroom door and quickly ran in and shut it.

"I'm such an idiot, why did I eat that cake"

Spike was feeling so guilty. He just wished he could get that cake out of his body.

"There's only one thing to do"

Spike kneeled over toilet got his claw and tried touch his throat. He was gagging so much.

"Come on, this cake can't stay in"

Eventually Spike got his claw and almost shoved it down his throat. He threw up and glad that 'the cake' was out of his body.

"Finally... Oh my..."

Spike saw the mess he made. He flushed the toilet and wiped the toilet with bleach and disinfectant. As soon he walked out the bathroom he heard Twilight call him.

"Spike! I'm off to bed okay?"

"Yeah, me too"

Twilight met Spike at the top of the stairs. They walked to the bedroom and both got into bed.

Chapter 5 - Rarity's Past

View Online

Rarity opened the door, but before she left she turned around to face Twilight. She looked at Twilight with watery eyes.

"Twilight, if anything should happen--"

"You'll be the first to know"

Twilight gave Rarity a warm smile, which Rarity returned.

"Thank you Twilight"

They both smiled, and then Rarity left and made her way to the boutique. Rarity was still worried about Spike.

"I hope I can get through to him" Rarity thought out loud.

Rarity just kept thinking.

What could have possibly set it off though?

As Rarity tried to answer her own question, she started to worry.

Oh no! What if I've made it worse! I would never be able to forgive myself for hurting my little Spikey-Wikey

Rarity was lost in he thoughts until she bumped in to somepony

"Oof!"

After Rarity recovered from the collision, she looked up to see she had bumped into Fluttershy.

"Oh my goodness, Rarity, I'm so sorry"

Rarity smiled

"It's okay dear, no need to apologise, after all I wasn't looking where I was going"

"Oh, if you say so, Rarity"

Fluttershy had noticed Rarity wasn't herself.

"Rarity, is everything okay, you seem... down"

"Oh yes, darling. Everything is fine" Rarity smiled

Fluttershy wasn't convinced, but didn't want to bother her friend.

"Well... okay, but you know I'm here if you want to talk"

"Yes! Thank you, dear"

Rarity and Fluttershy both smiled.

"Well, I better be going, Angel needs to have his tail fluffed"

"Sure, dear. Are we still on for tomorrow?"

Fluttershy's expression showed that she was lost. Rarity was just about to help her out, but before she could say a word, Fluttershy remembered.

"Oh yes! Our spa appointment! Most definitely two O' clock, right?"

Rarity nodded

"That's right, dear. Well, see you tomorrow"

Fluttershy waved as Rarity started to make her way to the boutique. As Rarity started to walk she was, once again, lost in her thoughts about Spike.

I couldn't have made it worse, I chose my words very carefully, didn't I?

Rarity made it to her boutique, she unlocked the door and walked in. Once she was inside she started to think out loud instead of in her head.

“I hope I'm not making it worse, I know what it's like”



----------Back when Rarity was a teenage pony----------



“Bye mum, bye dad, I'm off to school!”

“Bye sweetheart!”

Rarity was on her way to meet her friend, Fairy Heart, so they could walk to school together. Fairy Heart and Rarity has been best friends ever since they met back in Year 1, in Primary School.

Rarity made it to Fairy Heart's house and knocked on the door, there was no answer for a while, Rarity was about to knock again then the door opened, it was Fairy Heart's mother.

“Oh! Good morning, Mrs. Heart. Is Fairy ready for school?”

“Oh, Rarity! I'm sorry, but Fairy's not feeling to good, she is unable to make it today”

Rarity excited smile turned into a frown.

“Oh, okay. Be sure to tell her I said, I hope she gets better soon”

Mrs. Heart smiled

“Thank you, Rarity, and of course I will”

Rarity started to make her way to school.

“Bye Mrs. Heart”

“Bye Rarity”

Rarity kept waving until Mrs. Heart went back inside. She slowly continued walking to school letting out the occasional sigh of disappointment now and then, but then she thought,

Come on, Rarity. It's not Fairy's fault she's ill

So she held her head high and started to walk her original speed.

When Rarity made it to school she went straight to class and sat down at her desk. She sat silently waiting for the teacher to start the lesson, when suddenly she felt something hit her head, she looked around and saw two colts whistling suspiciously, Rarity just turned back around and saw the teacher walking in. After a few minutes she felt a tap on her shoulder she looked around to one of the colts from before with a note in his mouth, Rarity took the note.

“Read it!” said the colt.

Rarity turned around and placed the note on the desk in front of her, she unfolded the note cautiously. When it was fully unfolded it read:

Where's your girlfriend? FILLYFOOLER!!!

Rarity screwed up the note, turned around, and threw it at the colt who, at the time, wasn't looking.

“Hey!”

He gave Rarity an evil glare as he continued to speak.

“Don't chuck things at me!”

“Then don't pass me offensive notes”

Rarity turned back around not seeing the colt smile mischievously. He then raised his hoof.

“Miss! Rarity chucked a piece of paper at me with offensive things on it!”

Rarity looked back around.

“What!? No I didn't!”

Miss Marsh, a white unicorn with a blue mane, looked up at the two ponies. She walked over to the two ponies.

“Let me see the note”

The colt handed her the note, smiling evilly at Rarity. Miss Marsh read the note and she couldn't believe what she saw.

“Rarity! You know this sort of language is forbidden in my classroom, whether it's spoken or written!”

“But Miss Marsh I didn't even---”

“No excuses, I'll be calling your parents to let them know what has happened”

Rarity pupils shrunk.

“What!? NO!!”

Miss Marsh started to walk back to her desk, while the young colt was poking his tongue at Rarity. Rarity just faced the front with her hooves crossed in annoyance, that's when Miss Marsh stood up from her desk to start teaching.

“Okay class, today we...”



----------Present Day----------



Rarity was just pacing around her living room, thinking out loud.

"A few days after that, everything got out of control. Fairy Heart wasn't in school that whole week, the teasing just got worse, I got grounded for two months for the note incident, then got grounded for four extra months because of my so-called bad behavior at school when nothing was my fault, it was that colt, he kept getting me in trouble, and my parents or teachers wouldn't listen to my side of the story"

Rarity took a deep breath and continued to think of her past. She then remembered what happened when Fairy Heart came back to school.

"Ha! Oh yeah! Then my one and only friend ditched me, because she didn't want to be around an easy target, then again... I couldn't blame her"

Rarity went into the kitchen and made herself a cup of tea, she started think when she got in the same situation as Spike.

"I had no friends, my parents wouldn't listen to me and I was crying myself to sleep every night. I no control over what was happening in my life, and controlling my weight and what I ate was my way of getting control over something"

Rarity took a sip of her tea

"At first it felt great, but my mum caught me on many occasions, skipping or throwing up meals. It wasn't until that one day, that one day she caught me, that one day... she had enough"

----------Back when Rarity was a teenage pony----------

Rarity came downstairs about 11:00am. She sat down on the sofa next to her mum, who was watching TV.

“Morning dear”

“Morning mum”

“Would you like some breakfast?”

“Yeah, I'll get some in a minute”

Rarity's mum stood up and started to make her way to the kitchen.

“No worries, I don't mind doing it”

Rarity's pupils were now the size of pinpricks.

“WAIT... MUM!!”

Rarity's mum looked back with a surprised and puzzled look on her face.

“Ahem... Sorry, but don't worry, you were watching TV, I'll do it”

Rarity smiled sheepishly.

“Well... okay, but you didn't have to shout”

“Sorry mum”

Rarity's mum went back to the sofa, made herself comfortable and continued watching TV.

A few hours had passed and Rarity's mum was cooking lunch, and when she went to chuck some carrot peels in the bin, she found most of Rarity's, so-called “eaten breakfast” in the bin.

“Oh, that mare is in major trouble”

She stormed up to Rarity's room and swung the door open.

“Care to explain why you didn't eat your breakfast, young filly”

Rarity seemed startled and hid a bag behind her back as her mum walked up to her.

“And do you mind showing me what's in that bag you just hid behind your back?”

“It's nothing!”

As her mum got closer, Rarity tried to cover the bag even more. Rarity's mum used her magic to grab the bag. What she saw in the bag horrified her and she was about to rage.

“Rarity! Is this what I think it is?”

Rarity sheepishly smiled at her mum.

“That depends, what do you think it is?”

Rarity's mum was about to explode out of anger.

“Don't be smart with me young filly, did you throw up what you did decide to eat this morning in this bag?”

Rarity slowly nodded

“Right! That's it! You're seeing a doctor, I thought after what happened to Fairy, you would've stopped! You have no idea...”



----------Present Day----------



Rarity chuckled

“I remember begging for forgiveness, I was promising to eat, and I hated my mum for making me go to the doctors, but now I couldn't be more grateful”

Rarity smile soon turned into a frown a she thought about Spike.

“I hope Spike is okay, please don't let him get worse”

Chapter 6 - Getting Caught

View Online

*groan*

Spike woke up at looked at the clock, it was 3:00am

"I suppose I better get up and do some exercises"

Weigh yourself first, you idiot.

The voice in Spike's head had just become so natural to him, that he didn't even think about it that much anymore. Spike slapped his claw on his forehead.

"Oh yeah! I'm so stupid"

Spike got on the floor and pulled out the scales from underneath his bed. He then stood up and on the scales.

"Wait...WHAT!? Six stone and twelve pounds"

That was the cake you ate yesterday.

"But...but... I threw it up, it shouldn't have made me gain weight"

Spike rushed across his room to look in the mirror, and he saw an overweight, unattractive dragon. Spike's self-esteem just lowered after seeing this. Spike just walked over to his bed, slowly, with his head down, he sat on his bed and started to think, it wasn't long before his thoughts were about Rarity. The young dragon smiled at first, thinking of the mare of his dreams, with her pure white coat, her lush royal purple mane and her all-around exquisite figure. She was simply amazing. Then Spike's smile turned in a frown as he remembered the last time he tried to ask Rarity out for lunch.

____________________


Spike was finally ready, he had shined his scales, he had bought the perfect flowers and he finally had enough bits to take Rarity out to a perfect restaurant in town, 'The Cœur Florissante'. He walked up to the door of the Carousel Boutique and knocked.

*Knock Knock*

'Oh! I wonder who that could be!'

Rarity walked over the door and opened it to find a very dashing Spike holding the most beautiful bouquet. Rarity knew what was about to happen.

'Oh, Spikey! You do try your best, but we're not right for each other and more importantly, I don't really have the time'.

Rarity forced a smile, although, she didn't have to try too hard.

"Spike! What a pleasant surprise. How can I help you?"

Spike held up the flowers.

"For you, my dearest"

Rarity's smile grew.

"Aww, Spike, they're lovely, thank you"

Spike stood up straight and took a subtle deep breath.

'Here it comes'. thought Rarity

"May I ask the most beautiful pony out for a fine lunch at The Cœur Florissante?"

Rarity's eyes widened, the first part she was ready for, the second part, she wasn't.

'The Cœur Florissante!?!!?'

Rarity cleared her throat and composed herself before responding to Spike's question.

"Wow Spike! The Cœur Florissante? That place is really fancy and expensive. I can't accept something so expensive from you, I'm sorry".

Spike waved a claw at Rarity and tried to reassure her, not knowing that she was just trying to turn him down without hurting him.

"It's okay, Rarity. I have worked hard and have saved up for this specifically, so it's okay".

'Oh Spike, you make it so hard to turn you away'.

"Okay, Spike. I don't want to hurt you because you are really special to me and I don't want to lose you as a friend, but I really don't think we're right for each other".

____________________


Those words kept repeating in Spike's head, but I really don't think we're right for each other. He started to tear up.

"What am I doing wrong?" Spike thought out loud.

"Is it because I'm a dragon and she's a pony? Is it because in pony years, I'm younger than she is? Is it because I'm not charming enough? Is it because---"

...you're fat.

Spike nearly jumped when he heard the voice, even though he had become so used to hearing it.

"Huh?" Spike asked with confusion.

Yeah, maybe it's because you're fat.

Spike clenched his fists, as he was starting to get angry.

"I don't think Rarity is that shallow!"

Really? You think that the most gorgeous pony in ALL of Equestria, is going to choose just ANYpony or... dragon.

That make Spike start to think.

Also, she has such a high-profile and a successful business. Would you really expect her to ruin her image and reputation, just for the likes of some chubby dragon?

Spike unclenched his fists and started to cry. As much as he hated to admit it, maybe the voice was right, Rarity is so gorgeous and has a successful fashion business, she wouldn't want to ruin that, and most importantly, neither would he.

Hey! Don't be like that. I told you I'm your friend and I will help you.

Spike wiped his eyes and sniffed.

"Really?"

Yeah, trust me! Rarity will be yours in no time!

"Okay, should I start doing some sit-ups?"

Actually, I think maybe you deserve a night off. Go on, go to bed and get some rest, you can exercise tomorrow.

Spike smiled, walked over to his bed, got in and fell asleep within seconds.

____________________

Spike woke up to the sun rays that managed to break through the gap in his curtains. The young dragon groaned has he got up and went over to the mirror. After he had gotten used to the light and had managed to open his eyes properly he looked at himself in the mirror.

"Wow! No wonder Rarity doesn't think we're right for each other. I probably would ruin her"

Spike looked down at the floor, but then he had a thought.

"No matter! I shall start exercising"

Wow! You're really motivated this morning.

Spike smiled, he loved feeling motivated.

"Well, yeah. You gave me the night off last night"

True! Okay, start with crunches... say about 100.

Spike led down on his bedroom floor raised his knees with his feet flat on the floor and started exercising.

"1... 2... 3..."

Spike was in the middle of jogging on the spot when he heard Twilight come up the stairs. He quickly stopped, grabbed a towel from underneath his bed and wiped the sweat off of his scales. As he chucked the towel back underneath his bed there was a knock on his bedroom door.

"Spike! Are you awake?"

Spike sat on his bed trying to cool down.

"Yeah! I'm up Twilight! Did you need something?"

Twilight opened Spike's door and walked in slightly.

"Breakfast is nearly ready"

Spike put on a brave and seemingly convincing smile.

"Okay, Twilight. I'll be down in a minute"

Twilight smiled and walked out of Spike's room while closing his door with her magic, as she did so, she made her way downstairs. As soon as Spike knew Twilight was out of view, he let out a sigh of relief, but then started to panic when he thought the idea of having breakfast.

"Oh my goodness! What can I do? I don't want to eat breakfast! I'll never lose weight if I do!"

Spike started to breathe faster and faster, his heart started to race and he started to shake.

Hey hey hey! Take it easy! Come on, slow breaths, in.... out.

Spike managed to control his breathing thanks to the voice.

"Thanks! But what about breakfast?"

Follow what I say and Twilight will think you have eaten when, really, you haven't eaten a thing.

"Really? I don't have to eat a thing and not get noticed? I'm in!"

Spike was so excited, not having to eat anything was one thing, but having nopony complain about it, sounded amazing. Spike made his way downstairs, ready to follow the voice's instructions. Spike sat at the table waiting for his breakfast. It wasn't long before Twilight came in with two plates both with salad with two sliced apples on the side.

"Wow, Twilight! Healthy start! Is this because of that cake yesterday?"

Twilight smiled as she placed the plates on the table and sat down opposite Spike.

"I guess you could say that"

Both Twilight and Spike laughed for a bit before starting to eat... or at least Twilight did.

"Spike? Aren't you going to eat?"

Spike looked up at Twilight and gave her a smile.

"Uhh... yeah, sure I am"

Spike started to eat a piece of lettuce and was wondering why the voice wasn't telling him it's plan. Spike had nearly finished the salad before the voice spoke.

Right, you have eaten most of the salad, that's okay, because they're not many calories in that, but that apple WITH salad... that's a no.

Finally Spike thought.

Look, I know I said 'not eating a thing', but salad isn't too bad, plus, we don't want to raise any suspicion.

Spike thought the voice had a point and then waited for the plan.

Right, ask if you could go get a drink, then go and get a non-clear cup out of the cupboard.

Got it! Spike replied.

"Hey Twilight, could I be excused for a minute to go get a drink?"

Twilight finished her mouthful.

"Okay, Spike"

Twilight watched Spike go in to the kitchen and was just so pleased that this whole 'not eating' thing seem to be over. When Twilight was sure that her little assistant was out of earshot she let out sigh of relief.

"I'm so glad this little phase seems to be over, but just in case, I better read that book. It did have a chapter called 'Dragon Fasting', which may have the answers I'm looking for" Twilight thought to herself out loud. Twilight got up from her chair and made her way into the main room, as she continued to think out loud.

"At least I'll be prepared if it were happen again... but dear Celestia, I hope it doesn't"

She walked into the main room to find the book still open on the stand where she was last reading it. She levitated the book near her and carried it with her magic back into the dining room. She sat down in front of her food and began to read.

Spike was looking through the cupboards trying to find a non-clear glass or cup. As he opened the second cupboard he saw a medium, blue cup.

"Ah! This isn't see through" Spike said to himself quietly.

Perfect! Now fill it up with water and have a drink to fill up your stomach a bit.

"Yeah! Good idea"

Spike did as the voice said and had some water. The voice started to speak while Spike was drinking.

Right! This is important, when you're finished, fill the cup again, but empty the water down the sink quietly and take the empty cup back into the dining room.

Although Spike was confused, he followed the voice's instructions and filled the cup with water and put the cup so close to the plug hole when he emptied it, so it wouldn't make a sound. Spike walked back into the dining room to see Twilight reading a book instead of eating. Spike tapped Twilight on the shoulder.

"Oh!... Spike, you startled me"

"Twilight, what have we both said about reading at the table?"

Twilight sighed.

"If I have most of the day to study, don't try to do it around other things"

"Right! So put the book away" Spike said, pointing towards the main room. Twilight levitated the book into the main room, as she tried to hide her frustration from Spike, even though he was right, she did want to be prepared. Twilight continued eating her food. As Spike sat down the voice continued it's instructions.

Right! All you have to do is, chew the food up, and spit it into the cup. Just make it look like you're having a drink

Wow! That's great! Spike thought.

When the cup is full, just say you need to get another drink, and empty the cup, fill it up with water, empty it quietly and repeat the process until the food is gone

Spike did just that. After he finished all the slices of one apple the cup was full. Spike tipped up the cup making out he was drinking the last of it, making sure no chewed up apple slices fell out and also making sure he didn't drink the juice coming from the apples slices, as Spike put the cup down on the table, the same Twilight had finished her breakfast.

"Right! Well, I'm going to get another drink" Spike said as he stood up.

Twilight stood up and started to make her way into the kitchen.

"Oh! I can get you a drink Spike, I'm going into the kitchen anyway"

As Twilight grabbed her plate and Spike's cup with her magic, she felt a slight tug, she looked around to see that Spike wasn't letting go of the cup. At first she thought it was a joke, but she saw Spike had a worried expression on his face. Twilight made her way over to Spike.

"Spike what's wrong?"

Spike had a beam of sweat running down his face at this point.

"What do you mean, Twilight? Nothing is wrong"

Twilight saw the beam of sweat on Spike face and now knew Spike was hiding something. Twilight's soft expression changed almost instantly.

"Spike! Let me have the cup!"

Spike didn't want to raise suspicion, nor did he want to get caught, but before he could do anything Twilight had managed to grab the cup from him. Twilight gave a Spike an angry look, then looked down in the cup to see chewed up apples. Twilight was shocked, angry and upset, she just stood there in disbelief. Spike was really worried as Twilight was just stood there in silence, he was about to say something, then he saw a single tear fall to the ground.

"Twilight... are yo---"

"YOU STUPID DRAGON!!!"

Spike was interrupted by Twilight's outburst.

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS!? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!?"

Spike was really scared, he was shaking.

"Twilight! You don't understand! I can't eat!

"Why not, Spike? Please tell me!"

Spike took a deep breath.

"I feel too ill, and my mind is not in a good place right now!"

Twilight had it, that was the last straw.

"Too ill!? And your mind is just not in a good place!? Why are you LYING TO ME!?!?"

Spike became overwhelmed and started to cry.

"I am NOT lying to you, Twilight"

"Oh really! Pretending you're eating your food, because your mind is not in a good place?"

"Twilight, I thought you understood me. I thought you understood, how I felt sometimes"

"Oh! Don't start that again! Do you know what Spike? The truth is, now.... I don't understand you, I don't even feel like I know you"

"Fine! Then I guess you're not one of my friends if you don't really know me"

Twilight didn't believe what she was hearing.

"Spike.... I never sa---"

"NO! You've said enough! I am going for a walk"

"No! You get back here!"

Spike ignored Twlight and just walked out and slammed the door behind him.

"YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T WALK AWAY FROM YOUR PROBLEMS!!!"

After the moment of anger had past, Twilight just sat there and started to cry even harder than before.

Spike! Why are you not talking to me!? What has driven you to do this?

Chapter 7 - The Search

View Online

Spike was just walking around Ponyville, trying to stop crying.

"All this time, I thought she knew and understood me", Spike thought out loud.

He continued to walk, and realised he had made it to the park, he looked around and saw there weren't many ponies in the park, so he decided to go in and sit down on a bench where nopony was walking by. Spike let out a big sigh, which helped him stop crying. Spike kept thinking about what Twilight said.

__________

... "I don't understand you, I don't even feel like I know you"

"Fine! Then I guess you're not one of my friends if you don't really know me"

__________

Spike tried to stop himself from crying again, but it seemed to be close to impossible. As Spike was trying to calm down Rarity's words echoed in his head, 'Please, don't forget who your friends are'.

"Rarity's right", Spike thought. "Friends listen and try to understand each other, friend's don't lash out over silly little things, as Twilight did", but then Spike realised. "But where do I go from here, I have nowhere else to go, I don't want to become a burden to my real friends".

Spike let out a big sigh and put his head in his claws. A couple of hours goes by and Spike is still sat on the bench. As the Ponyville clock tower reached noon, it began to ding, this snapped Spike out of his thoughts.

"GAAH!", Spike looked over at the Ponyville clock tower.

"Wow! 2 o'clock already, well, I suppose I better stretch my legs". Spike got off the bench and continued walking through the park, once again, getting lost in his thoughts.

Twilight was rushing around Ponyville looking for Spike, asking everypony she could see if they have seen Spike, but then she had an idea.

"Of course! Rarity's!", Twilight thought out loud, as she headed to the boutique.

After a couple of minutes, Twilight could see the boutique, and she sprinted to the door. Not realising it was locked the purple mare face plants the door and falls to the ground.

"Ow! What the---!?", Twilight looked up to see a note taped to the door which read:

Back in 1hr

"Ugh! Are you kidding me!? Where else could he be!?" Twilight said in frustration as she continued to run around Ponyville.

Fluttershy was reading a magazine while patiently waiting for Rarity to arrive, just as she was reading the last page she heard the bell above the door ring, she looked across to see Rarity through the door.

"Fluttershy! Sorry, I'm late" Rarity said trying to catch her breath.

"Oh! That's okay Rarity, you didn't have to rush, are you okay?", Fluttershy asked concerned. Rarity took one last big breath and exhaled.

"I'm okay, I just hate being late to our spa appointments, since I am unable to do them every week like we use to", Rarity hung her head down slightly remembering the weekly appointments. Fluttershy could see Rarity wasn't too happy about the situation.

"It's okay, Rarity, I understand that you're getting a lot more orders after becoming more well-known in the fashion industry, and I couldn't be prouder" Fluttershy smiled. Rarity looked up and saw Fluttershy smiling, Rarity returned the smile.

"Thank you for understanding Fluttershy" Rarity walked over to the desk where a blue mare with a pink mane was sitting.

"The usual", Rarity said confidently. The blue mare smiled and took both her and Fluttershy into the massage room.

Spike was still lost in thought until he stepped on a branch, it was just then he realised he was at the entrance of the Everfree Forest. Spike just stood there, staring into the forest. The young dragon just sighed and continued walking. As Spike was walking into the forest he heard his stomach rumble, Spike was not in the mood for this.

"Will you shut up!?" Spike said out loud while punching his stomach.

"Ow! Perhaps that wasn't such a good idea"

It worked though, didn't it

"Oh, you're back!" Spike smiled.

It's okay, you're never alone, you've got me

"It's just all this time I thought of Twilight not just as a friend, but also as a family"

I know it hurts, but isn't it better to know rather than having a fake friend

"I guess you're right, but I don't have anywhere else to go," Spike said worryingly "So I'll have to go back home eventually"

YOU CAN'T DO THAT!!!, Spike jumped at the sudden outburst, even though it was just a voice in his head.

"Well, where else can I go?" Spike asked.

What about your other friends?, Spike's pupils shrank.

"WHAT!? NO! They'll tell Twilight where I am or worse, try to convince me to go home"

If they do that then they're not real friends, because as you said, real friends listen and understand each other

"That's true, it was Rarity who helped me realise that, maybe I should go and see her, hopefully, she'll understand". Spike starting to make his way out of the Everfree forest and towards Ponyville.

Twilight was running towards the park hoping Spike would be there, when she ran into Applejack.

"Howdy Twilight!" Applejack greeted.

"Applejack... have you... seen---" Twilight managed to say through her deep breaths.

"You alright, sugarcube? You seem to have worked up a mighty sweat". Twilight tried to restart.

"Me and Spike... argued and... then he walked out... and now... I can't... find him", Applejack immediately got concerned.

"What!? Have you asked anypony?"

"Yes! Almost everypony in town", Twilight replied. Applejack was in shock.

"You mean to tell me nopony has seen Spike since he walked out" Applejack managed to say after composing herself.

"Exactly! I've tried almost everywhere, even Rarity's, but there was a note saying 'Back in an hour. I was just on my way to the park" Twilight informed. Applejack was confused but was more than happy to help Twilight.

"I'll help you search, Twilight, he can't be too far," Applejack said trying to help Twilight worry less.

"Thank you, Applejack", Twilight smiled, "Let's go!", Twilight and Applejack ran towards the park.

Spike just reached the back entrance of the park when he saw Twilight and Applejack running in asking ponies if they've seen him. Spike ran and hid hoping nopony would see him, but then Spike had a thought.

They... care, Spike went to get up and out of his hiding spot, but the voice stopped him.

No! Stop! They don't care at all!

"But they're looking for me", Spike said quietly.

They're looking because they can't handle not being in control of you

"Wait... really?"

Yeah! And who's in control of you?

"Me!", Spike said proudly

Exactly! So don't let them see you

Spike did his best to make it to the other end of the park without being seen. Once he reached the gates he looked back to see where Twilight and Applejack were, when they weren't looking he bolted out of the park.

"I do feel very re-energised", Rarity said as she and Fluttershy were leaving the spa.

"Me too!", Fluttershy agreed.

"Shall we say the same date and time next month?" Rarity offered.

"Are you sure, Rarity? I mean, if it's too much trouble---", Rarity cut Fluttershy off.

"Nonsense, darling. What do you say? Are you free?" Rarity asked informing Fluttershy it was okay.

"Oh, okay Rarity, and yes I am free" Fluttershy smiled. Rarity returned the smile.

"Good! Now, I don't mean to be rude, but I must get back, I have many orders to complete"

"I understand, Rarity, I need to get going myself, I'm going to the market to get some food supplies". The mares hugged and waved, then headed to their destinations.

Twilight and Applejack had been around the entire park. Twilight looked at the clock.

"It's nearly three o'clock, I don't know where else to look" Twilight looked like she was about to cry. Applejack gave Twilight a comforting hug.

"It's alright sugarcube, we'll find him", just then Applejack noticed a pink mare with a yellow mane.

"Twilight, I'm going to ask that mare over there", Applejack said as she broke the hug.

"What's the point? She'll just say what every other pony has said" Twilight said feeling defeated.

"It's worth a shot", Applejack walked over to the mare.

"Excuse me, ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you", the pink mare looked up to see Applejack stand next to her.

"Oh! That's quite alright, can I help you?" the mare asked.

"Yeah! I was just wondering if you had seen Spike, you know, dragon, small, scaly, purple...", the mare chuckled.

"Yeah! I know Spike. I saw sitting on that bench over there about thirty minutes ago" the mare pointed to the now-empty bench. Applejack beamed.

"Thank you so much, ma'am, you have a lovely day"

"You too", the mare replied as she layed back down on the grass. Applejack ran back to Twilight who was led down looking defeated.

"Twilight! She said she saw Spike!", Twilight jolted up.

"What!? Where!? Where did she see him?" Twilight asked eagerly.

"She said she saw him on that bench about thirty minutes ago", Applejack pointed to the bench. Twilight's smile quickly changed into a frown.

"Thirty minutes ago? He could be anywhere by now" Twilight hung her head. Applejack lifted Twilight's head with her hoof.

"Hey, Twilight, it's okay, at least we now know somepony has at least seen him", Twilight tried to smile.

"I guess you're right Applejack, but where else can we look?", Applejack thought for a minute as she looked down the path where the bench was.

"Well, I know that path leads to the Everfree Forest, you don't think he went in there do you?", Twilight looked worried.

"I hope not, he said he'd never go in there alone"

"Okay, I'll go and look in the Everfree forest, you go back to town and continue looking"

"What!? Applejack I can't let you go in the Everfree Forest alone", Applejack put a hoof around Twilight.

"Twilight, I can assure you, I'll be okay", Applejack gave Twilight a reassuring smile.

"Okay AJ, maybe splitting up will help", Twilight returned Applejack's smile.

"Okay, I promise, I'll be safe", Applejack started heading towards the back entrance, while Twilight headed for the front.

Spike, where in Equestria's name are you?

Chapter 8 - A Real Friend

View Online

Spike was rushing through Ponyville, trying to get Rarity's while not being seen, he was hiding behind buildings, in bushes and even in the balloon at one point. Rarity was just about to unlock her door when she saw Spike hiding behind a bush.

"Spike!?", Rarity called out confused. Spike jumped and looked over to see Rarity, he ran over to her.

"Shh! I don't want anypony to see me", Spike said looking around to see if anypony was looking.

"Why ever not, darling?", Rarity asked. Spike looked at Rarity with a worried expression.

"May I explain, you know, inside?", Rarity could see how worried Spike was, so she unlocked the door and let him in while she followed. They sat down on a couch before Rarity spoke,

"So why is it you don't want anypony to see you?", Rarity asked Spike hoping to understand.

"Well, Twilight and I argued, I stormed out and now Twilight is looking for me along with Applejack and I don't want them to find me because they'll take me home, and I don't want to go back", Spike explained.

"Why did you and Twilight argue? And why wouldn't want to go back and talk things out?", Rarity was getting concerned as she knew what mindset Spike was in.

"Well, I didn't want to eat my apple because I was full and Twilight just got furious and said 'I don't understand you, I don't even feel like I know you, and friends are supposed to understand each other", Spike explained. Rarity was shocked but tried to help the young dragon.

"Spike, I'm sure she reacted that way because she loves you and she worried", then Rarity remembered something, "Do you recall what I said about remembering your friends?", Rarity smiled. Spike nodded.

"Yeah, you told me not to forget who my real friends are"

"Exactly, so---", Rarity was cut off by Spike.

"And now I know Twilight and Applejack for that matter, are not my real friends", Rarity's expression quickly changed into disbelief and sadness.

"Spike, why on earth would you think that?", Rarity asked.

"Well, as I said before, I feel friends should understand and listen to each other and Twilight said, she doesn't understand me, actually she also said she doesn't even know me, how can she be a real friend if she doesn't even know me?", Rarity had to hold back her tears, she knew exactly what stage Spike was at, and how vulnerable he would be at this point. There are so many things Rarity wanted to say, but she knew, from her own experience, it wouldn't help, so she bit her tongue and chose her words carefully.

"I understand, Spike, but I think Twilight just meant she doesn't understand why you... didn't want to... or lied about eating your apple, because friends shouldn't lie about sort of thing, she didn't why you would lie to her", Rarity said slowly, trying to not make things worse.

"Well... I knew she'd overreact, and I was right", Spike said a bit louder than intended. Rarity was taken back by Spike's volume.

"I understand, Spike, but what did Applejack do?", Rarity said, remembering that Spike said Applejack also wasn't a real friend.

"Well, she's helping Twilight look for me, if she was a real friend, she'd understand that I didn't want to go home and that Twilight was out of order", Spike said trying to keep calm.

"Spike, they're looking for you because they care about you, as do I", Rarity tried to reassure Spike.

"They only care about controlling me!", Spike blurted out. Rarity covered her mouth with her hoof in shock.

'Oh no! It's worse than I thought', Rarity thought to herself. Spike thought he made Rarity jump.

"Sorry, Rarity, I didn't mean to upset you", Spike looked down and faced his lap, feeling bad about his minor outburst. Rarity lowered her hoof.

"It's okay, Spike, I understand your frustration", Rarity placed a hoof on Spike's knee, he looked up to see Rarity giving him a comforting, but weak smile.

"Rarity are you okay? You don't seem... yourself", Spike tried not to use the word happy since he saw Rarity was trying to smile. Rarity put her hoof back on her lap before replying.

"I'm okay, I just care about you, Spike", Spike smiled, but then thought.

"Hang on a minute...", Spike stood up, Rarity was confused at the sudden change in mood.

"What is it, darling?" Rarity asked.

"You're pretending to care about me, so you can make me go home", Spike said pointed at Rarity.

"Spike I---", Rarity was cut short.

"Argh! You're all the same! Do I have any real friends?", Spike said heading towards the door", Rarity quickly got up.

'Oh no! What did I say?, Rarity thought while going after Spike.

"Wait, Spike!", Rarity called. Spike looked around in anger. Rarity caught up to him.

"What!?" Spike said furrowing his brow.

"Spike, I'm not pretending, I care about a lot because I---", Rarity was cut short by a knock at the door. Both Spike and Rarity looked around at the door, then Rarity looked through the small glass window to see who it was.

"*gasp* It's Twilight!", Rarity said pulling her face away from the window.

"WHAT!?", Spike nearly shouted. Spike ran as fast as he could and hid behind some curtains. Rarity waited for the curtain to settle, then she cleared her throat and opened the door.

"Twilight, is everything alright?", Rarity asked.

"No! Spike and I argued, he walked out and now I can't find him, have you seen him"

'Oh no!', thought from behind the curtains in a ball not to be seen.

"Hmm... I can't say I have, Twilight, if I see him I'll let you know", Rarity lied. Twilight came to a realisation.

"Oh no, if he's not here, that must mean that... he's in the Everfree Forest! I gotta catch up with Applejack", Twilight an off without even saying goodbye. Rarity closed the door and let out a sigh. Spike came out from behind the curtains.

"Why...why did you do that?", Spiked asked in shock.

"Well, not that a feel great about lying to Twilight, or the fact that my lie had led her to believe you're the Everfree forest, but I truly do care about you Spike, and I can see how much you don't want to go home", Rarity smiled, then suddenly both she and Spike realised what she had just said.

"Oh no!", said Rarity

"That means...", Spike continued

"They're both heading towards the Everfree Forest!!!", they both said in unison.

Chapter 9 - She Really Does Care

View Online

"Oh my goodness, that's terrible", Fluttershy was stood on her doorstep listening to Applejack tell her about Spike.

"Yeah, so he might be in the Everfree forest, I was wondering if you may have seen him go by?", Applejack asked.

"I'm sorry, Applejack, but I was at the Spa with Rarity today, so I wouldn't have seen him this afternoon.

"It's okay, Fluttershy, Twilight and I are just trying to get as many clues and/or help as possible", Applejack explained. All of a sudden they saw a purple blur running towards the Everfree forest.

"Is that... Twilight?", asked Fluttershy.

"I think it is", replied Applejack. When the blur reached the entrance to the forest, it stopped, and it was clear that it was Twilight.

"Applejack! Spike! Are you in there?", shouted Twilight.

"Over here, Twilight!", Applejack called while waving trying to get Twilight's attention. Twilight looked around to see where the voice was coming from, then she saw Applejack waving along with Fluttershy. Twilight ran over when she reached her two friends, she was out of breath.

"Fluttershy... Spike... has... I mean he...", Applejack put a hoof to Twilight's mouth.

"I already told her everything, sugarcube, I thought I'd ask if she had seen him since the Everfree Forest isn't far from her cottage, but unfortunately, she hasn't", Applejack explained while also lowering her hoof. Twilight managed to catch her breath, but the purple mare didn't speak, she just hung her head low, Applejack and Fluttershy saw a single tear fall to the ground.

"Hey, Twilight! We're gonna find him", said Applejack lifting Twilight's head.

"Yeah, and I'll keep an eye out for him", Fluttershy tried to smile to help Twilight. Twilight removed Applejack hoof and just shook her head, she couldn't even talk, she looked defeated.

"Twilight we can't give up now, we have to keep trying", Applejack tried to reassure Twilight. All of a sudden Twilight lifted her head a little more to face Applejack with a determined look.

"You're right!", Twilight looked at Fluttershy.

"Thank you, Fluttershy, you'll keep an eye out for him?", Twilight asked.

"Of course!", Fluttershy smiled.

"Right, time to search the Everfree Forest", said Twilight with confidence. Fluttershy was concerned for her friends.

"Girls!", started Fluttershy. Twilight and Applejack looked towards the yellow pegasus.

"Please be careful", Fluttershy pleaded.

"We will", Twilight and Applejack said in unison. Fluttershy waved as her friends made their way to the entrance to the forest.

When they made it to the entrance, they both looked at each other, took a deep breath and nodded. Twilight took the first step when all of a sudden.

"WAIT!!!", Twilight instantly recognised the voice and darted her head around.

"Spike?", she looked down the path and she saw Rarity running towards them with Spike on her back.

Twilight and Applejack ran towards Rarity and Spike. When they finally met up with one another, Applejack was first to speak.

"Spike where were you? You had us worried sick", Twilight put a hoof up to Applejack's chest. Twilight levitated Spike off of Rarity back and pulled him in for a hug.

"I'm just glad you're safe", Twilight's voice was muffled from hugging Spike. Spike could feel his back scales getting wet.

"Twilight it's okay, I'm here now", said Spike, trying to make Twilight feel okay. Rarity could feel her heart being torn, she knew what was wrong, she knew she had to say something. Applejack walked over to Rarity.

"It's not like Spike to run off like that, and from what Twilight had told me during our search he hasn't been himself lately", Applejack told Rarity. Rarity tried to find the right words to say, luckily Applejack continued.

"I'm just glad he's safe, where did you find him, Rarity?", Applejack asked. Rarity froze, she had to think of something quick, she composed herself.

"I saw him walking past my boutique, not long after, Twilight had informed me, she couldn't find him", luckily Applejack was more concerned about Spike being safe rather than analysing Rarity's response. Twilight stopped hugging Spike, still in tears.

"Please! Don't run off like that again!", Twilight said in an angry, but sad tone.

Aww, look how happy she is to finally be able to control you again

"Shut up! She missed me"

"I'm sorry, Twilight", Spike responded.

"I'm sorry too, Spike, I didn't mean what I said", Twilight said with a sorry look on her face.

Sure she is

Spike just ignored the voice.

"It's okay, Twilight, I know that now" Spike informed. Twilight stopped crying and smiled and turn to face Applejack and Rarity.

"Thank you, Applejack for helping, and thank you Rarity for finding him", she hugged both of her friends.

"That's alright, Twilight, I'm going to inform Fluttershy that we... well, Rarity found him", Applejack made her way to Fluttershy's cottage. Rarity waited until Applejack was out of earshot, went to tell Twilight about Spike's condition, but no words came out, she was scared to think what Twilight would think, and her head started racing with negative responses.

'How long have you known?'

'Why didn't you tell me?'

'You didn't help?'

'You're so selfish!'

'You made him work?'

Suddenly the call of her name snapped her out of it.

"Rarity!", Twilight repeated. Rarity shook her head slightly.

"I'm sorry, Twilight, I was miles away", Rarity apologised.

"That's okay, I was just wondering if you'd like to come over for dinner, as a sort of thank you", Twilight offered. Rarity guilt started to settle in.

"Oh, you don't have to do that, maybe Applejack could come over", Rarity suggested.

"I was going to invite Applejack as well, but I remembered that she has a lot of things to do back at the farm since she has spent time helping me", Twilight smiled, Rarity was able to return the smile.

"What do you say, Rarity?", Rarity didn't see a way out of this.

"Sure, thank you, Twilight", she let Twilight lead the way.

After a few minutes, they made it back to Twilight's.

"You two sit down, I'll prepare dinner", Twilight said as they all walked in. Twilight made her way to the kitchen, while Spike and Rarity sat on the couch. Rarity turned to Spike and could see he was worrying.

"Everything alright, Spike?", Rarity said knowing fully well what was going through his head. Spike looked up at Rarity.

"Huh? Yeah, just, you know, being home", Spike said as he looked back down.

"Thank you, for what you did though", Spike said. Rarity looked back over to Spike.

"For not telling Twilight you were at mine?", Rarity said quietly making Twilight sure didn't hear from the kitchen.

"Yeah, you really are a true friend", Spike responded just as quietly. Rarity smiled at Spike's comment, but that quickly faded when she looked at him and see he was still struggling with the thought of eating. She was trying to think of ways to help.

"Spike?", Rarity started. Spike looked up at Rarity.

"Yeah?", Spike responded.

"How are you feeling?", Rarity asked. Spike slightly chuckled.

"You've already asked me that, Rarity", Spike chuckled once more, Rarity smiled.

"I know, darling, but I mean how are you truly feeling deep down inside?", Rarity explained. Spike's expression changed into a thinking one.

"I feel fine", Spike said looking confused. Rarity sighed.

I suppose he doesn't understand... that's okay, Rarity thought to herself.

"Well, if you're ever not fine, you know you can talk to me about anything", Rarity gave Spike a warm smile.

"Thank you, Rarity, that means a lot coming from you, and I'm always here to help you or listen if you need to talk, also", Spike returned the smile. They both smiled at each other, then Twilight walked in from the kitchen.

"Rarity, could I borrow you for a sec?", Rarity looked over to Twilight.

"Yeah, sure, please excuse me, Spike", Rarity said as she got up to follow Twilight to the kitchen.

"Sure", Spike smiled.

"What is it you would like assistance with, Twilight?", Rarity asked as she walked into the kitchen.

"I know this sounds silly, but could you maybe help me with the presentation of the food?", Twilight said sheepishly.

"Of course, but what ever for, darling?", Rarity asked.

"Again, I know this is going to sound silly, but I feel Spike might be more encouraged to eat it if it looked more appealing", Twilight knew it was stupid as soon as she said it out loud. Rarity thought about Spike not eating, and she knew she had to tell Twilight something, but not so much she freaks out.

"Umm. Twilight I---", Rarity was interrupted by Twilight.

"I know, I know, it's a stupid idea", Twilight sighed.

"No no! That's not it, I... umm... I need to talk to you... about Spike"

Chapter 10 - Twilight Finds Out

View Online

"No no! That's not it, I... umm... I need to talk to you... about Spike", Twilight could tell Rarity was worried.

"What is it, Rarity?", Twilight asked. Rarity was very hesitant, she knew she needed to tell Twilight, but how much could she handle? What part should be said first? What could make sure Spike doesn't get any worse?

"Umm... Spike... isn't going to want to eat at all", Rarity explained.

"I know that, but he needs to eat", Twilight said worriedly.

"I know, but he needs to be in the mindset to eat, and I don't feel like he is right now", Twilight didn't respond straight away, which made Rarity anxious. Twilight started to think about what Spike said.

"I feel too ill, and my mind is not in a good place right now!"

Then Twilight realised, she looked at Rarity.

"You know what's going on, don't you?", Twilight asked slowly. Rarity's heart started racing, she felt like she had said too much.

"Twilight let me explain!", Rarity blurted out. Twilight jumped at Rarity's sudden volume change.

"Rarity! I'm not mad or anything, but I need you to tell me", Twilight explained. Rarity took a deep breath of relief and composed herself.

"I'll try and make it short, something has happened to make Spike either feel not good enough or feel like he has no control over anything, so he has started to control his diet, and in return, he doesn't care whether he lives or... well... doesn't", Rarity felt a bit of relief telling Twilight what was going on, but Twilight looked more confused.

"I don't get it, he knows he's loved and cared for, he has the freedom to do as he pleases, within reason, I thought he was happy", Twilight said worriedly and started to get upset.

"I'm sure he does, but to help we need to figure out what triggered it in the first place", Twilight slightly perked up.

"Well, that's easy let's go and ask him", Twilight started walking towards the living room, but she was stopped by Rarity's hoof.

"I'm afraid that won't work", Rarity lowered her hoof when she was sure Twilight had stopped.

"Why?", Twilight asked in slight frustration.

"Spike doesn't know he has this problem, and telling him won't help as he will be in absolute denial", Rarity could see that Twilight was getting frustrated.

"Well, we can't just sit around and let him figure it out! We have to do something!", Twilight started to get more frustrated.

"Twilight, I'm sorry, there is not much we can do at the moment", Rarity tried to calm down Twilight.

"Yeah, well, how do you know anyway!?", Twilight did not like the responses she was getting from Rarity. Rarity took a deep breath.

"Because I went through what Spike's going through now", Twilight immediately calmed down and looked at Rarity shocked and confused.

"What?", Twilight asked softly.

"I also didn't want to eat, wanted to try and lose weight, didn't care whether I was alive or not, felt out of control, I thought I was the worst pony in Equestria", Rarity spoke softer with every word. Twilight just stood there in disbelief.

"Rarity... I'm sorry, I had no idea", Twilight said sincerely.

"It's okay, Twilight, it's not something I openly talk about, but it's how I know what Spike is going through, what to say or do and what not to say or do", Rarity took a deep breath and composed herself.

"Again, I'm so sorry you went through that, Rarity, so what do we do", Twilight asked.

"We need to make sure he eats, but without forcing him, letting him decide, no frustration, no bribing, no guilt-tripping, just compromise, and when we have managed to do that, we might be able to figure out what triggered this mindset", Rarity explained confidently.

"Okay, let me finished our food, and... you still don't mind making it look, you know, fancy?", Twilight asked.

"Of course not, darling", Rarity waited for Twilight to finish.

Spike was just sat there swinging his legs and trying to calm himself down when the voice spoke once more.

Why did you come back!?, Spike jumped, not expecting the voice to talk.

"Because Twilight does care about me, you were wrong", Spike replied in slight anger.

If she cared about you she wouldn't make you do things you didn't want to do

"If she didn't care about me, she wouldn't go into the Everfree Forest to look for me!", Spike was more and more frustrated with the voice.

Oh my god! You can't see it can you?

"See what!?"

She is trying to make you look bad in front of that Rarity

"What!?", Spike froze.

Yeah, making you eat in front of her, so she'll always see you as a fat, useless dragon, she'll never love you, Spike felt all his muscles loosen, his legs stopped shaking, and his eyes started to water.

Remember what she said, 'Please don't welcome it, Spike. Fight it'

"I don't know what she meant by that", Spike said while sniffling quietly.

She meant the feeling of wanting to eat, you want her to like you?

"...yeah", Spike replied softly.

Then show her that you're listening to her, maybe she's telling what you need to do to win her heart

"But how will I not eat in front of Twilight? She's going to be watching every move I make", Spike said wiping his tears.

All you have to do is throw it up as soon as you finished eating

"Oh, of course", Spike lightly slapped his claw to his forehead. "Plus, if I tell Rarity---", Spike was cut off by the voice.

No! You can't tell anypony!

"But if I tell, Rarity, she'll see that I'm listening and trying", Spike tried to explain.

A high-class pony like this Rarity, doesn't want to see trying, she would like to see results, plus she might see throwing up as cheating

"Wait! Throwing it up was your idea!", Spike said having to watch his volume.

Yes! Because you were convinced, Twilight cared about you, and now she's going to be watching you like a hawk

"I suppose you're right! Okay, I won't tell anypony", Spike said feeling stupid. Suddenly he heard hoofsteps coming towards the living room, so he quickly dried his eyes and put on his best smile. Rarity walked into the living room.

"Spikey! Food is ready, come and join us in the dining room", Spike followed Rarity, but as they were walking into the dining room.

Remember what I said

"Okay!", Spike whispered in frustration. Rarity looked back at Spike.

"Did you say something, Spike?", asked Rarity

"Uhh... no I didn't say anything", Spike said trying to not look suspicious. Rarity picked up on Spike's look but thought nothing of it. As they reached the dining room, Rarity remembered something terrifying from her past.

'Oh no! Was he talking to... the voice?', Rarity thought worriedly.

Chapter 11 - It's Getting Worse

View Online

'Rarity remembered how bad 'the voice' controlled her, but she tried to forget about it since she wasn't sure that's what Spike was doing. Spike and Rarity sat down at the table opposite Twilight. Spike looked down at the plate and saw that it was beautifully presented.

"Wow, Twilight! The presentation is beautiful", Spike said impressed, Twilight smiled.

"Thank you, Spike, it was Rarity who did the presentation though", Spike looked over at Rarity, and she smiled at him.

"Oh, well, thank you, Rarity, it's beautiful", Spike smiled back. 'Just like you', he thought to himself.

"You're welcome, Spike, are you hungry?", Rarity asked. Spike looked at Rarity, then looked at Twilight who was patiently waiting for his response and then back at Rarity.

'Is this part of the test? What do I say? Twilight is right there!', Spike thought, he knew he had to eat in front of Twilight.

"Umm... Maybe a little bit", Spike smiled weakly, worried about the response he might get.

"That's okay, Spike, you eat what you can", Twilight said smiling at Spike, with Rarity's advice still fresh in her mind. Spike was surprised at the mare's response.

"Oh, umm... thank you, Twilight", Spike almost stuttered in shock. Twilight and Rarity both smiled and began to eat their food, Spike subtly took a deep breath and then began to eat his food. Twilight noticed how Spike seemed to be eating normally, she subtly looked at Rarity who looked up, Twilight pointed to Spike with her eyes and Rarity looked across at Spike, back to Twilight and subtly nodded, then they both went back to eating their food.

After a few minutes, Twilight and Rarity finished their meal and Spike was on his last bite.

"That was so delicious, Twilight, thank you", Rarity lightly wiped her face with a napkin. Twilight smiled at the compliment.

"You're welcome, Rarity, and thank you for making it look beautiful", Spike put his fork down, Twilight looked across as she heard the tap of his fork on the plate, she could see he was chewing the last of his food. "What about you, Spike? Did you enjoy it?", Spike looked up at Twilight and nodded since he had his mouthful and Twilight smiled.

Nice! You fooled her, but hurry before your body digests the food

Spike hardly reacted when the voice spoke.

"Twilight may I be excused? I need to use the bathroom"

"Of course, Spike", Twilight watched Spike, waited until he was out of earshot, then looked at Rarity.

"Rarity, he ate all of it! Look!", Twilight smiling and pointed at Spike's empty plate. She used her magic to lift and look inside his cup and smiled even more.

"And no chewed up bits in his cup!", Twilight couldn't be happier. Rarity smiled at how happy Twilight was, but then a memory emerged from her past

"Mum! May I use the restroom?"

Rarity's smile dropped, her eyes widened and her pupils shrank, Twilight noticed the sudden scared and worried expression on Rarity's face.

"Rarity! What's wrong?", Rarity didn't respond, she just ran towards the bathroom. Twilight ran after her worried and confused.

Spike knelt over the toilet trying to put his claw down his throat.

"Come on! You did it before", Spike thought out loud before trying again. Spike managed to touch his throat and make himself throw up. Rarity heard through the door, she couldn't stop him in time, she put her hoof to her mouth and started to quietly cry. Twilight came up to her.

"Rarity! What's wrong?", Rarity shushed her to talk more quietly.

"It's worse than I thought", Rarity whispered, Twilight didn't understand what was going on.

"What do you mean?", Rarity didn't want to worry Twilight, but also knew she had to tell her, she hesitated and took a deep breath.

"Spike just made himself throw up", Rarity tried to hold back her tears. Twilight couldn't speak for a second, she was trying to process what Rarity had just said.

"Wha--- He--- Why would he do that?" Twilight just looked at Rarity shocked and upset, Rarity let out a short sigh.

"When somepony with this condition feels they can't pretend to eat, they'll eat to trick the people around them, but then throw it up so it was like they never ate it", Rarity remembered being in that mindset.

"But why? Why doesn't he want to eat? It can't be just to have some control", Twilight made her way back to the dining room, Rarity followed.

"Twilight, it starts that way, but it leaks into one's self-esteem, it makes you think you're fat, so he's trying to lose weight", Rarity was trying to stay comprehended for Twilight, but inside, she was crying, she had no idea that Spike's condition had gotten to this stage, and she knew what had to be done. Twilight and Rarity sat back down at the dining table.

"I'm sorry, that we couldn't do anything about Spike throwing up, Twilight", Rarity felt so guilty, but she knew from experience it may have made Spike spiral even further.

"It is hard for sure, it feels like I'm not caring for him as I should be", Twilight felt like a horrible carer and friend. With Rarity now knowing Spike's condition is now in a severe stage, she had to find out what had triggered it.

"Twilight, do you have any idea what could have caused this?", Rarity asked eagerly. Twilight looked up to see Rarity looking serious. Twilight thought for a moment.

"No, I care for him, I let him go on walks when he needs to, I don't work him too hard, so I don't know", Twilight just looked defeated, her once bubbly and happy assistant is now, depressed and hates himself. Rarity thought it might help to ask the right questions.

"When you first noticed a problem, had something happened that day or the day before?", Twilight thought about Rarity's question for a good few minutes, Rarity waited patiently for Twilight.

"There's nothing I can think of, I remember him not wanting to eat dinner, not sleeping that night, then not wanting breakfast the next morning, that was the day you came round to ask if you could borrow him, but the day before we were just doing what we normally do", Twilight was lost, she wanted to help, but couldn't think of anything that would be useful. Rarity thought for a second, but before she could say anything she heard Spike coming back from the bathroom.

"He's coming back, remember because he's not aware of his condition, saying anything won't help", Rarity felt more pain with every word she said. Twilight nodded knowing Rarity was also hurt by not being able to help.

Chapter 12 - A Small Bit Of Information

View Online

Spike sat back down at the table, as he looked at Twilight and Rarity he could see that they were both abnormally silent.

"Uhh... Is everything alright?", Spike asked confused. The two mares suddenly realised they were not talking and then smiled at Spike.

"Yeah, everything's fine, Spike, we were just waiting for you to get back", Twilight said trying to put on her best convincing smile. Luckily it worked.

"Oh, okay, thank you", Spike returned the smile.

"Well, I hate to dine and dash, but I must get back as there are some dresses that simply must be finished by tomorrow", Rarity said while getting down from the table and headed for the door.

"Spike, could you take the dishes to the kitchen, please", Twilight said following Rarity to the door. "Wow! That was hard!", Twilight whispered.

"I know, but you can't just let him sit there and not let him do anything, he'll know something's up", Rarity responded. They both reached the door. "Before I go, is there anything you can remember, even the smallest thing", Rarity stood by the door. Twilight thought for a second and she remembered one thing, but she didn't think it was very important.

"The only thing I remember is that the day before he didn't eat his dinner, he went for a walk, he seemed a bit down when he got back, but when I asked if he was okay, he said he was just tired from walking", Twilight's expression showed that she was sorry that the only thing she could remember was useless.

"You don't know where he went?", Rarity asked. Twilight shook her head.

"No, I don't ask, I trust him", Twilight explained. Rarity smiled.

"Of course you do, I was just wondering because the more information we have the faster we can get to the bottom of this", Rarity explained. Twilight smiled. "So, this was two days before I came over to borrow him?" Twilight had to think for a second to work it out.

"Yes, two days before"

"Okay, thank you, Twilight, I must go, but if you remember anything else..."

"I will let you know", Twilight said, finishing Rarity's sentence.

"Thank you, Twilight, I will see you soon", Rarity said as she opened the door with her magic.

"You're welcome, Rarity, see you soon, and good luck with those orders", Twilight said as she watched Rarity leave. Rarity smiled to say thank you and made her way back to her boutique.

As Rarity was on her way back she thought about the information Twilight gave her.

"Something must've happened when he went for a walk, but where would he go?" Rarity asked herself. It wasn't long before Rarity was back home at her boutique. She walked into her inspiration room and she saw the flowers that Spike gave her when he invited her out to the Cœur Florissante. Seeing the flowers made her smile.

"He's such a sweet little dragon, and the Cœur Florissante came as a massive surprise", Rarity thought to herself out loud. Then she remembered, that only happened a few days ago, which made Twilight's words echo in her head.

'Yes, two days before

"Oh my! He came to see me?", Rarity realised. "It couldn't be because I turned down his invitation, could it? Am I the reason Spike is doing this to himself? No, I turned him down before and he's been okay, and if I accepted his offer I'd give him the wrong impression, which would hurt him more", Rarity grew more worried the more she thought about it.

"What do I do if that's the reason?", Rarity thought.

Spike was sat in his room reading one of his comics when 'the voice' spoke again.

Hey! Guess what you haven't done in a while?

"Digest a meal", Spike chuckled.

Well... yes, but also you haven't weighed yourself recently

"Oh yeah", Spike remembered as he got the scales from under his bed. Spike stood on the scales.

"Oh my goodness! Five stone eleven! I've lost just over a stone, looks like throwing up meals work well", Spike smiled.

Maybe, seeing results like these, might make it easier to throw up

"Most definitely", Spike said as he made his way to the mirror. Spike's smile dropped as soon as he saw his reflection.

"I still look fat, worse even", Spike was confused. "I don't understand, I've lost over a stone and I still look fat", Spike said in frustration.

Yeah, but now you have more motivation to throw up, combine that with exercising and you will lose a lot more weight

"Amazing! Thank you", Spike felt better after what the voice said.

Always here to help

"I want to exercise right now", Spike said excitedly.

Alright then, go on, you could start with sit-ups to get that belly in some more

Spike kept exercising and when he sat on his bed to rest, he realised it was starting to get dark.

"Wow! I've been exercising for a long time", Spike said proudly.

Yeah, you even surprised me

"Do you think Rarity will notice?", Spike asked.

Maybe, but she may not say anything until you're the perfect weight for her

"This just doesn't seem like, Rarity", Spike said with a confused tone.

Really? A high-class mare who makes perfect dresses, and has even changed herself to impress other ponies, yeah, doesn't sound like her at all

"Well, when you put it that way...", Spike remembered the way Rarity has been in the past. Spike took a deep breath and exhaled.

It's okay, she's still a great mare

"Oh, I only took a deep breath because I'm tired from exercising, might get an early night", Spike said as he got into bed.

Good idea, we don't want your metabolism getting any slower

"Exactly", Spike said with a yawn as he drifted off to sleep.

Twilight was deep into a book when she realised she hadn't heard from Spike for a couple of hours. She made her way to Spike's bedroom.

"Argh! Stupid books!", Twilight said frustrated with herself, then she suddenly stopped in her tracks.

"Wow! There's something I never thought I'd say in my life", she continued making her way to Spike's bedroom. As she reached the door she knocked, there was no response, she knocked again, no response, at this point Twilight started to worry, she hesitantly opened the door, and saw Spike in bed asleep. Twilight sighed in relief.

"At least he's okay", Twilight said as she closed the door at made her way back downstairs. As she made her way back to her book, she realised she was on the last page. The purple unicorn sighed.

"Yeah, it's a problem, this book has no diets similar to what Spike is doing", Twilight said as she put 'Diets Of A Dragon', back where she found it.

"What has hurt you so much that you hate yourself, Spike", Twilight thought aloud.

Chapter 13 - The Bad Habit Continues

View Online

"What can I do?" Rarity said pacing around the boutique. "What do I say?", Rarity's mind was racing. "How do I explain this to Twilight?", Rarity stopped in her tracks, took a deep breath, then exhaled. "First, I need to know if this is the case", Rarity thought about how to go about it lightly. "I'll have to pop by tomorrow and talk to him", then Rarity remembered about her orders and sighed. "I hate to do it, but I have to focus on these orders, there's no more I can do today", Rarity started cutting out pieces to make the orders she had received in the past week.

----------The Next Day----------

Spike groaned as the sun broke through his curtains and into his eyes, he then opened his eyes and stretched.

"I feel so weak", Spike thought out loud.

Come on! You have to get up and exercise before breakfast

"But I can't, I'm so weak I can't move", Spike replied.

Look, Rarity wants to see progress, not someone lazy and doesn't want to work hard, Spike led there thinking of how proud Rarity would be if he lost the weight. After a couple of minutes, he was able to move and get up slowly. He sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"What do you suggest first?", Spike asked the voice.

Maybe some cold water on your face, you're still half asleep

"Okay", Spike said as he struggled to stand up and go to the bathroom. When he got to the bathroom he turned the cold tap on cupped his claws and splashed some cold water in his face.

"Woah! That's woken me up a bit", Spike said in slight shock, he turned the tap off, dried his face with a towel, and went back to his room, as he entered his room he passed his mirror, he looked at his reflection and sighed, "Right, I'll start with the plank position, to work on this stomach", Spike said looking down at his stomach. Spike continued exercising for an hour. "Woah! Hang on, I'm starting to feel faint", Spike said as he walked over to his bed to sit down.

Maybe this is a good time to weigh yourself

"Yeah, I think you're right", Spike pulled out the scales from underneath his bed took a deep breath and then stood on the scales. "Five stone ten!? I've only lost a pound!?", Spike led down on his bed upset, with his claws over his face. "This is impossible!", Spike said sounding muffled. Not long after that, he heard Twilight coming towards his room, he didn't think anything of it until the voice spoke.

THE SCALES!!!

"Gah!!", Spike jumped. "Oh yeah!", Spike rushed to push the scales back underneath his bed, then he jumped on his bed as Twilight opened the door.

"Morning, Twilight!", Spike said trying to act and sound casual. Twilight looked at Spike confused.

"Morning, Spike, is everything okay?", Twilight asked confused by his odd behaviour.

"Yeah, everything is good, just haven't long woken up", Spike said with a yawn.

"Okay, well, I'm just about to make some breakfast, since your awake I can make you some too", Twilight said with a smile.

"Oh, umm... thank you, Twilight", Spike knowing he couldn't deny food.

"You're welcome, Spike, I'll see you downstairs", Twilight then left Spike's room shutting the door behind her. Spike sighed in relief.

'It's so much easier not having to deny food, but still not having to gain weight', Spike thought. Spike got up made his bed and went downstairs.

Spike walked into the kitchen and found Twilight buttering some hay toast. Twilight turned around and noticed Spike.

"Oh, Spike, you're down", Twilight picked up a plate with two pieces of hay toast on it with her magic. Spike held his hands out to grab the plate.

"Thank you, Twilight", Spike smiled. Twilight returned the smile.

"You're welcome, Spike, you can go ahead and sit at the table I'll be there now", Twilight said finishing off making her daffodil and daisy sandwich.

"Oh okay, Twilight", Spike went and sat at the table and a few seconds passed by before Twilight joined him. They both started eating their breakfast. Twilight knew what Spike had planned after his breakfast, and she was dreading it, knowing she couldn't say anything. Twilight was holding back tears and masking as if nothing was wrong. Spike took his last bite.

"Thank you, Twilight, that was lovely", Spike said as he got up. Twilight was quick to react.

"Where are you going?", she said a bit faster than usual. Spike was caught off guard.

"Just... taking my plate out to the kitchen", Spike said picking up his plate confused with Twilight's worried tone. As Spike put his plate in the sink, he knew what he had to do, so he started heading to the bathroom, but on the way, he passed Twilight, who was taking the last bite of her sandwich, and gave a look as if to say, 'where are you going now?'.

"Just heading to the bathroom, Twilight", Twilight swallowed the bite and tried to quickly think of something.

"Could you help me... umm... find a book first", Spike wasn't expecting Twilight to give him a task.

Just say, you're desperate and you'll help after

"Sorry, Twilight, I'm quite desperate, but I can help you after I've been, I promise I won't be too long", Spike said, crossing his legs acting as if he were desperate. Twilight sighed knowing she couldn't stop him.

"Okay, Spike, thank you", Twilight took her plate into the kitchen as Spike headed off to the bathroom.

"I just wish I knew why he was doing this", Twilight whispered to herself while holding back tears.

Rarity was putting on her makeup whilst thinking of how she was going to talk to Spike.

"I know, I have to be careful, but not too vague", Rarity said putting on her false eyelashes. "Argh! It's so frustrating, I just want to help Spike and I don't know how", Rarity took a deep breath. "One step at a time, Rarity, first let's find out if your assumptions are true", Rarity checked to see if her makeup was okay and then went to continue making the dresses, but she couldn't concentrate. "Argh! It's no use, I have to talk to him, what time is it?", Rarity looked over at the clock it read 10:07am. "Is it too early to go over now?", Rarity looked at the partly made dresses and sighed, "These will have to wait", Rarity then made her way to Twilight's.

Spike was trying to do his chores but had to keep sitting down.

"I'm never going to get this done if I keep having to sit down". Spike said frustrated with himself.

Then stop sitting down

"If I don't sit down, I'll faint", Spike explained.

Oh my goodness! You're so dramatic

"I'm not being dramat--- *huff*", Spike just gave up and got on with his chores.

Twilight was trying to read a book, but couldn't concentrate after she knew what Spike did earlier. Suddenly, she was brought out of her daydream by a knock at the door. Twilight walked over to the door and opened it to see Rarity.

"Morning, Twilight", Twilight couldn't even smile, she sighed before she spoke.

"Hey, Rarity", Rarity noticed the sad tone in Twilight's voice.

"How's Spike?", Rarity asked reluctantly. Twilight invited her in before saying anything as soon as Twilight shut the door she spoke.

"He did it again this morning", Twilight started to tear up.

"What do you mean?", Rarity asked.

"He went to the bathroom as soon as he finished eating, I tried to stop him by asking him to quickly do something first, but he said he was desperate, and I couldn't think of anything else to say, so I had to let him go", Twilight was trying hard not to cry. Rarity hugged Twilight.

"It's okay, Twilight, it's not your fault", Rarity said trying to comfort Twilight. They hugged for a bit before Twilight let go and wiped her eyes.

"I'm sorry, what brings you by?", Twilight asked.

"I've come to talk to Spike, I believe I know the right approach to get through to him", Rarity explained.

"Really?", Twilight said with a slightly brighter tone.

"I hope so, but it will have to be just me and him", Rarity said apologetically.

"It's okay, I understand", Twilight said making sure Rarity knew she understood. "He's in the backroom doing his chores, let him know that I said he can take a break", Rarity nodded and made her way to the backroom.

Chapter 14 - The Confession

View Online

Rarity entered the back room and saw Spike sorting out some books. Spike heard the door open and looked around to see Rarity.

"Oh, hello Rarity, what brings you by today?", Spike asked putting away the last book in the M section.

"I came to see you, Spike", Spike looked back over at Rarity, surprised.

"You...you did?", Spike asked.

"Yeah, I was wondering if you were free to talk, Twilight told me to tell you that you can take a break", Rarity explained. Spike walked over to where Rarity was.

"Oh, then, I guess I am free then", Spike chuckled. "Did you want to sit on the couch in the main room or..."

"Is there anywhere we can sit and talk in private?", Rarity asked. Spike thought for a second.

"There's my bedroom, I guess"

"That'll be fine", Rarity smiled. Spike then made his way to his bedroom while Rarity followed.

Spike and Rarity walked into his bedroom and Spike shut the door. Rarity was nervous as she knew what she had to say but still hadn't planned how she was going to say it.

"We can sit on the bed if you'd like", Spike said pointing to his bed. Rarity nodded then they both sat down on the bed.

"So, what did you want to talk about?", Spike asked.

"Well, I wanted to see how you were feeling?", Spike was slightly confused

"I feel okay, why?", Rarity smiled then placed a hoof on Spike's claw.

"I'm glad to hear that, but if you ever feel low or upset, you know you can tell me anything, right?", Rarity said while looking Spike in the eyes.

"Of course", Spike said still slightly confused. Rarity cleared her throat, she was very nervous about what she needed to say next.

"So, I just wanted to say, that day you invited me to the Cœur Florissante, I thought it was very sweet that you saved up all that money just to take me out", Spike smiled, Rarity noticed this and she knew she had to choose her words very carefully. "But I had to turn down the offer because our friendship means so much to me and I don't want to ruin that", Rarity explained, worried how Spike would respond. Spike's smiled changed to a confused expression.

"But you said you thought we weren't right for each other", Rarity felt a pain in her chest when Spike repeated the words she had said.

"I apologise for my wording, Spike, what I meant is that our friendship is so special and you're so special that, I don't think it's right for us to date", Rarity explained.

"So, it had nothing to do with me?", Spike asked.

"No, of course not, you're a wonderful dragon and friend, and I feel honoured that I have such a close relationship with you, and what we have is so special", Spike just sat there confused.

"So, it's not because I'm ugly or fat", Rarity flinched when she heard that 'F' word, she had now, one hundred percent, confirmed it was her that had caused it.

"I'm so sorry if I have ever made you feel like that, Spike", Rarity said holding back tears.

What a drama queen, Spike did not like the voice's comment

"Shut up!", Spike said out loud. Rarity jumped at the sudden outburst.

"I'm sorry, did I say something wrong?", Rarity said getting more upset. Spike froze, he realised what he just did. Spike sighed.

"No, it's not you, but if I tell you the truth you have to promise to not think I'm crazy", Rarity wiped her eyes and was ready for Spike to confess.

"Of course, I would never think you're crazy", Rarity said warmly. Spike hesitated then he took a deep breath and exhaled.

Don't tell her, she's testing you

For the first time, Spike ignored the voice and went against what it said.

"I have a voice inside my head, telling me things and suggesting things", Spike said slowly, Rarity looked at Spike in the eyes.

"Okay, what kind of things does it say and suggest", Rarity asked, remembering the things the voice said to her.

"Well... it convinced me I was fat, and the only way you'd like me is if I lost weight because you're so beautiful and high-class", Spike looked down at his lap, but Rarity lifted his head with her hoof.

"I can see you're not fat, and I like you just the way you are, our friendship is special", Rarity said more confident.

You're going to regret doing this, the voice started to fade away until eventually it was gone. Spike's head felt clearer, he looked over at the mirror and he could see how skinny and ill he looked, he thought about what he had been doing to himself, which made him cry.

"What's wrong, Spike?", Rarity asked concerned.

"I...I have been doing awful things... I haven't been eating, making myself throw up and I was constantly exercising and weighing myself trying to lose weight", Spike said still crying. Rarity was glad he finally confessed and she pulled him in for a hug which he instantly returned.

"It's okay, Spike, I'm glad you told me", Rarity said hugging the dragon slightly tighter. Spike just continued crying on Rarity's shoulder.

"But I've lied to you, I've lied to Twilight and I've hurt Twilight too", Spike managed to say after calming down a bit. Spike released the hug.

"I'm so sorry, Rarity", Spike said disappointed in himself. Rarity smiled at him.

"I'm proud of you, Spike"

"Proud of me?", Spike said confused.

"Yes. Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery", Rarity continued to give Spike a warm smile. Spike just noticed the voice had gone.

"The voice is gone!", Spike said with a slight smile.

"Even better", Rarity said, knowing recovery would be easier with the voice gone. Spike hugged Rarity.

"Thank you, Rarity, you helped me", Spike said with a smile. Rarity returned the hug.

"You're welcome Spike, you know I'm always here for you", a few seconds passed before Spike released the hug after realising something.

"I better go and explain myself and apologise to Twilight", Spike then got up and made his way downstairs as Rarity followed.

Spike went into the main room where Twilight walked up to her and hugged her. Twilight was caught by surprise.

"Oh! Spike is everything okay?", Twilight said wondering why he hugged her out of the blue. Spike stopped hugging her before speaking.

"Not really, I have a confession"

"Oh?", Twilight said as she looked up at Rarity who smiled and nodded.

"Umm... yeah, you know I was skipping meals, but I was also making myself throw up what I did eat and also exercising excessively, so I could lose weight", Spike looked at the floor then back up at Twilight.

"Why were you trying to lose weight?", Twilight asked knowing she could ask now.

"I was depressed and then a voice in my head was telling me I was fat and was suggesting skipping meals and throwing up anything I had eaten and that would make...", Spike stopped and looked at Rarity who smiled. "you know, make me happier", Twilight was still slightly concerned.

"This voice, is it still there?" Twilight asked. Spike smiled.

"No, it faded away when I confessed everything to Rarity", Spike hugged Twilight again, "I'm sorry I hurt and lied to you", Twilight returned the hug.

"It's okay, Spike, I'm just glad you're okay now", Twilight said relieved that this nightmare was finally over. Twilight released the hug.

"Well, it's almost lunchtime, would you like to stay for an early lunch, Rarity", Twilight asked looking up at Rarity.

"That would be lovely, thank you Twilight", Rarity smiled. They all headed to the kitchen to make lunch.