The Unoffical Guide to Failing at Fanfiction

by MasterFrasca

Writing the Plot

Writing the Plot

After we have finally finished the ordeal of choosing our theoretical topic that may or may not fall under any or all of the categories listed in the previous chapter, we must get right down to the actual text, the actual substance of the entire novel, granted you are willing to stick it out until the very end. Although you may feel as though you are prepared to tell of Rarity’s rise to fame in Canterlot as she invents dress after impossible dress, while in reality, Rainbow Dash is supplying all the designs while hiding in the shadows of the common ponyfolk, you can always run into a roadblock if you don’t tread carefully
over the icy surface of the literary threshold.

A mental check is necessary to solidify your stand on proceeding down the perilous path many writers fear to tread, as fan-fiction is set in a controlled environment in which the author has limited control. Pinkie Pie suddenly deciding to settle down and go into accounting would be a hazardous step forward, just as having Fluttershy fighting a full-grown dragon without batting a precious eyelash goes against all the rules of those character’s personalities. This act would not only ruin the entirety of your story, but the resulting post would most likely catch you computer on fire and send a message to space satellites telling them to launch the missiles of every country currently in possession of any, big or small, to correct this horrible mistake on humanity.

But I digress, as I have gotten a little off-topic in the last few sentences. Once more, a mental check is necessary to begin. First we check to see what topic, if any, we have thought about choosing. Once that is done we mentally dump every idea about that topic and forget we ever thought that we, as writers, could think of anything near what many believe to be a “successful topic.” Once all thoughts have been cleared from your head, we must proceed to the wonderful and mysterious “internet” to scout for different topics to rip off. Creativity, although made out to be the best thing to have since your top of the line pony toys in which Celestia is an odd pink color that no human on earth has ever made her out to be, is something to avoid, and, being so, requires an extensive rip-off of another famous story.

Remember your place, however; as the internet is a dangerous place that even the one and only, great, and supreme ruler of the land, Celestia, fears to allow public access to; one of the only reasons ponies in Equestra are void of such technological advances. Every type of plotline can be found, from a simple meeting of the ponies discussing whether or not to have Derpy help in the next winter wrap-up due to her nature of accidentally setting various buildings on fire while searching for birds hidden in chimneys, to the more complex battle for Equestrian prosperity in which Dr. Who comes in and helps his counterpart, Dr. Whooves, invent a new machine to turn the cute cutie mark crusaders into war machines with the push of a button.

Once you’ve found a good enough story to completely rip “your” ideas from, start a new draft that nearly copies the original manuscript except for a few minor details that don’t affect the overall plot arc that is occurring in said story. Changes such as having Fluttershy volunteer to test out a new love potion for Zecora instead of Rainbow Dash are ok, as this can be resolved by having Dash steal the potion and revert the story back to its intended path. Major things, such as which pony will have to give their life to save the rest of Equestrian society to stop Discord’s tyrannical takeover of Celestia’s revolting empire as society collapses around everyone, should be left as is, as trying to change any of these around will result in the same scenario as trying to actually writing an original work.

Remember while writing the story to be grammatically correct, as this aspect can be the difference between you’re story being great or horrible. Using punctuation properly is another thing to watch so that you dont make any runon sentences and people can understand what it is you are trying to get across to them as it is very hard to follow when you have one sentence after another with no breaks or pauses in between them. Leanring to sepll words corrcetly as they appaer in the Engrish dictionary is anothre thing to watch for, as seplling words rihgt makes you seem more intellegent than otehrs arund you.

After finally preparing yourself with another story to follow closely so that yours may be perfect in the creation of the next big fiction, and you have written the first chapter of a minimum of three hundred words, you should post it immediately onto the site, not bothering to proofread it one iota, as a rough draft is always the best thing. Once your story has passed moderation by the almighty knighty (or one of his trusted minions that feed off the wasted hours of helpless souls trapped forever browsing the site), you should sit back and bask in the glory of readers looking at your content. Remember once you have posted to never go back and change any aspect of your story as your first draft will always and forever be as good as Pinkie Pie’s iconic cupcakes.

Do not try and add onto the story, as people need to become aware of its existence, and so you need to give them at least a night to read and tell you their brutal honest opinion. Whatever they suggest you do next you need to do regardless of how ridiculous the request. If someone wants you to have Fluttershy brutally murdered by Cheerilee for suggesting a fieldtrip to Sweet Apple Acres so all the little fillies could get drunk from the immense stores of hard apple cider that Applejack hides from the rest of the world, then you do it, even if your story deals with a loving relationship between Luna and Twilight. The context is no matter when it comes to fan changes; you must always respect your fans whishes as they praise you and erect giant statues of you in their backyard next to all the mane six that they hand-built themselves from imported marble from Greece.

Finally, once your story inevitably derails from all of the idiotic suggestions that all the readers feel it is necessary to give you, you must then turn and make everything a rushed version of “Cupcakes,” because once you put that into the fiction, your story will quadruple in ratings, and that type of writing requires no skill from the author. Every “Cupcakes” rip is successful in the end regardless of who dies, because, by mere association, even a passing mention of the fiction is a popularity booster.

Comments

[MasterFrasca]

167270 I'll definitely take that into consideration, as I'm trying to make this "guide" more guide-like by adding more sections. Thanks for the input, I may have to do that when I can't think of what else to add.

[JasonTheHuman]

This is wonderful.

Oh, God, if I ever listened to my reader's suggestions from the comments...

[PheerthaniteX]

Wow...

Before this came out I was trying to write an original fanfiction, but thanks to you I realize I should just rip off Until You Met Her and My Little Dashie, then end it off with my OC losing his marefriend Rainbow Dash to Pinkie Pie, who lives on the other side of Equestria, then when they get to Pinkies house, she tortures RD and makes her into Cupcakes.

[Lumine]

If only half the authors on this site would read this...

[DahDoctow]

You get an A+.

[ugugg93]

So my new "Slice of Life" genre with a "everypony" rating ripoff story needs a cupcakes ending...

static.tumblr.com/nv5z8ec/QiTlk68p6/challenge-accepted.png

[ShyFoggy]

I get it, to be popular i should change the theme from tortured souls cracking under pressure and wreaking havoc on those who deserve it, to wreaking havoc on the mane 6 whilst also name dropping cupcakes to boost the success of a novel that has no business to be successful.

plot change: protecting peaceful rule of equestria changes to, protecting peaceful rule of equestria by turning popular ponies into assorted desserts.

Just kidding though all in all a good guide into weeding out bad fics, my commendations to you fine brony

[MasterFrasca]

176351 Um... if this is for me thanks, but I'm fine with stories.
This was supposed to be sort of a troll, and I'm actually laughing at the fact that I actually helped someone. I didn't expect anyone to actually take these serious, but whatever.

[Your Antagonist]

This is brilliant, but you...you're an ass... a brilliant glorious golden ass. I only call you this because I was reading this while lying down and eating white-chocolate covered pretzels, and I reached the part about grammar. Needless to say I choked from laughing too hard. Khorosho sir

[SSky]

Changing my fic from having a semblance of a plot to an all-out Philomena VS Scarlet cupcake making match is GO.

But seriously plot is overrated. Rip-off fics get all the views nowadays.

[WorldWalker128]

178644
Actually it was aimed at anyone, not any specific person.
-
I knew it was made with 'smart mouth' as the main objective, I was just trying to be helpful in case any poor dope took this to heart.

[Shefira]

the buck did I just read laymark.com/l/o/117.gif

so much win in this story

[Princess Twilicorndog]

OK then, in my horribly original story, I will now...
-Make Pinkie go insane and kill everypony, making them into muffins
-Make Dashie come back inexplicably and have a make-out session
-Make Dashie then disappear again into the human world, raised by a human woman, totally not a man
-Then everything is all better, and never lives up to the 'adventure' tab I so mistakenly put up and had a great idea for.
Thanks so very much, Mr. Master Troll,
Your Faithful Troller,
Starlight

[Skeeter The Lurker]

That grammar bit was just... Beautiful.

~Skeeter The Lurker

[Tennis Match Fan]

I actually want to do this and see what happens to the story.