Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too short, I felt like this was another generic story. But seriously, all we got was Anon jacking off to a towel? C'mon. Try again man.
This story goes way too fast for its own good. We don't even get a chance to be properly introduced to the character before we see him violently masturbate to Applejack.
Also, to everybody else in this comment thread: >You're going to wake up in the morning and find the story deleted because the comments were too good for the author Calling it now.
2119262 "We don't even get a chance to be properly introduced to the character before we see him violently masturbate to Applejack." But that's the best part!
But author, that's correct. The pacing was crazy fast. For example, the character getting a job, a home, and a family to call his own is all told in just one sentence. Might want to space out the exposition too. You know, introduce any information when it's relevant, rather than all at the beginning.
Anyway, I thought the towel sniffing and towel-jacking-off-into was pretty cool. Would have been much better if he sniffed it afterwards.
Wow. What's with all the negs and shit? Yeah, it's short. Duh. You can tell that before even clicking on the story by the word count. It's just the first chapter. The pacing is really fast and needs to be drawn out a bit. But I certainly wouldn't neg a story for that. Besides, what did you want? For a confession and fuck to encompass a massive 1,237 words? Yeah, that would be good.
You've got a good start so far OP. You kinda killed it with how fast things are going and how non descriptive things are. But that doesn't mean you can't make the next chapter better! Just work on it a bit more and I'm sure the next chapter will be better. I'm following this to see how things go.
he reminds me a little on "Golden Boy"
keep it up
ill wait for the next part befor i juge you. but alrite so far.
Oh sure, delete all the negative comments huh?
You won't get very far if you don't know how to accept constructive criticism.
Way too short, and overall, this story's story's about as useful as a flat spoon.
I mean, 1.2k words in time for anon to jack off into Aj's towel? There's really no point in this at all.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too short, I felt like this was another generic story. But seriously, all we got was Anon jacking off to a towel? C'mon. Try again man.
Uhh.... I wonder what would happen if AJ found her towel covered in cum...
You delete my comment, I'll post it again.
This story goes way too fast for its own good. We don't even get a chance to be properly introduced to the character before we see him violently masturbate to Applejack.
Also, to everybody else in this comment thread:
>You're going to wake up in the morning and find the story deleted because the comments were too good for the author
Calling it now.
2119262
"We don't even get a chance to be properly introduced to the character before we see him violently masturbate to Applejack."
But that's the best part!But author, that's correct. The pacing was crazy fast. For example, the character getting a job, a home, and a family to call his own is all told in just one sentence. Might want to space out the exposition too. You know, introduce any information when it's relevant, rather than all at the beginning.
Anyway, I thought the towel sniffing and towel-jacking-off-into was pretty cool. Would have been much better if he sniffed it afterwards.
Wow. What's with all the negs and shit? Yeah, it's short. Duh. You can tell that before even clicking on the story by the word count. It's just the first chapter. The pacing is really fast and needs to be drawn out a bit. But I certainly wouldn't neg a story for that. Besides, what did you want? For a confession and fuck to encompass a massive 1,237 words? Yeah, that would be good.
You've got a good start so far OP. You kinda killed it with how fast things are going and how non descriptive things are. But that doesn't mean you can't make the next chapter better! Just work on it a bit more and I'm sure the next chapter will be better. I'm following this to see how things go.
This better not be as bucked up as your last story.
Ahhhhhh
Interesting start, I guess
Fuck it, I love AJ, let's read this bitch
Yea seems a bit rushed but its a clopfic. Im not gona complain