Unintended Consequences

by Daedalus

Aristotle, Dream Crusher

It was the night of the Grand Galloping Gala, and and Twilight Sparkle and company were on their way to Canterlot in a carriage she had made for them. Also, Aristotle was there. He had gotten in as Prince Blueblood's "plus one". For his sake, since he had been summoned to the pony realm after the whole "Ticket Affair", everyone else was talking about what they wanted to do at the Gala.

Pinkie Pie was rambling excitedly about how the Gala would be the bestest party ever or something like that. Aristotle told her that it would be a stuffy, boring event that was more about mingling than fun. She didn't care. Applejack, slightly irritated at Aristotle's newest attempt to make Pinkie Pie depressed, decided to mention her plans to get rich by selling her family's specialty, food. Aristotle naturally deflated this dream by pointing out the likelihood of free food being provided at the Gala. Rainbow Dash, her jimmies considerably rustled by Aristotle's trolling ways, decided to push it aside for the sake of her friends' happiness (Rainbow Dash is said to possess self-awareness for one day of the year, and this was that day) and told the man about her intention to impress the Wonderbolts, so Aristotle, being the devilish and genre savvy individual he was, regaled Rainbow Dash with an explanation of the fact that celebrities at public events are always busy doing things that did not include hanging out with fans, even the ones who had saved those celebrities' lives.

At this point, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Twilight were worried that their own hopes would be forcibly deconstructed. Spike wasn't worried about himself, for his hopes were modest enough. So when Fluttershy's lack of experience with Canterlot animals, Prince Blueblood's hatred of traditional gender roles that led to the most uncouth behavior one ever saw, and Princess Celestia's probable busy schedule were used as a +5 Sword of Disembowelment on the Shambling Mound of the combined wishes of Fluttershy, Rarity, and Twilight, Spike leaned back and smiled to himself.

As fun as it was to crush hopes and dreams (it really isn't if you're not a sadist; the ranks of sadists do not number Aristotle), it had come to an end sooner or later. And so, with their friends acquaintances left behind weeping in the carriage, Spike and Aristotle went over their plans for the night.

First, they would meet up with the Cutie Mark Crusaders to provide the Gala's music. (This was the case because the originally scheduled band mysteriously ended up in Saddle Arabia three days before they should have arrived in Canterlot, and Princess Luna suggested Apple Core as a replacement since she liked their music.) Secondly, Apple Core would start off the night playing appropriate music and gradually move to other, cooler genres. Thirdly, Apple Core would escape the inevitable angry mob on their jetpacks. Fourthly, they would all head to Pony Joe's Donut Shop when the coast was clear. Fifthly, they would meet up with Trixie (by now reasonably adjusted to being a woman and not a mare) flee Equestria and explore strange new lands for the next five years or so and be infamous pirates. This plan was too big to fail, so it necessarily crashed and burned big time.

To elaborate, things started off on the wrong foot hoof when Princess Celestia was immediately suspicious of Twilight and Co.'s absence. She put her suspicions aside to deal with the perennial crowd of admirers and sycophants, so Apple Core was in the clear after that. Apple Core's plan was a success up until the "escape on their jetpacks" part. Spike had forgotten which way was up, so Apple Bloom, being the strongest one available, had to carry him. As to be expected, the trip to Pony Joe's shop took a while. Twilight and Co. were already there and completely hammered, so Apple Core left without a single doughnut. When they went to rendezvous with Trixie, she was, even if it was justified by her previous dearth of friends, too insistent on ensuring everyone's safety for anyone's comfort, considering the time pressure. The good ship S.S. Platypus sailed out of Manehattan Harbor into a horrifyingly large storm, and the three-master was beached on a small deserted island with no trees to supply wood for the necessary repairs to the hull. Apple Core (and Trixie) spent the next five months getting a patch job done so they could sail back to Equestria. When they got back, everything was fine, since Discord hadn't shown up yet. No one really remembered that they had problems with the equine Robinson Crusoes. Spike and Aristotle sent a letter to Princes Celestia about what they had learned.

Dear Princess Celestia,

We have learned that it's not a good idea to crush someone's hopes and/or dreams and not expect bad things to happen.

Sincerely, Spike and Aristotle
P.S. Please don't ask how we learned this.

Author's Note:

I am doing some editing, and this chapter needed it. Hopefully, it is now tolerable.