I like how this fic is progressing. I'm interested to see how Macintosh found out, cause in my head he already knows. It would be funny if he just casually drops the fact that he knew and that it doesn't matter who Applebloom loves, even funnier if he states that he thought they were already together before they actually were, but it's your decision how you write your story just voicing my thoughts. Either way I like your story and look forward to the next chapter.
So... APRILS FOOLS Tomorrow we will have the real chapter where Applebloom confesses to AJ and BM who proceed to "Buck the Gay outta her." The fic will end with mindbreak rape.
2362401 And now that Knighty has posted that it was all just a massive troll about the Human fics being banned I might, but I have no real idea where to go from here as all the chapters were based off of pics from the art blog and I have now run through all the images related to Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle.
Maybe not a direct sequel, but a same universe story.
1. I personally am relieved that things did not go the "cheaper" incest/orgy route, despite your inspiration of LunaIsMaiWaifu's fan-arts to that angle. Your tale of Applejack & Big Macintosh's fight for survival was a fairly well done enough.
2. Though as a minor technical (biological?) aside, arousal and the act of coitus may get the blood & body pumping, but post-coitus is actually a heat drain (the "afterglow," in which the body is venting lots of heat). So Applejack & Big Macintosh probably would have exhausted and frozen to death. But since that is not exactly "common knowledge," I can forgive & overlook it for your story ;) .
3. I too feel that this Chapter (#4) does not feel like a conclusive ending to the story. It is a good wrap-up over the Applejack & Big Macintosh portion, but not to Apple Bloom & Sweetie Belle, which I assumed was the core of this story. I just do not get that "The End" closure feeling with this.
4. A more conclusive ending would be something in the order of Apple Bloom & Sweetie Belle sharing an deeply emotional moment (not sex, but that can be the result of said emotional moment) now that they no longer need fear about, or hide, their Romantic relationship. A proverbial, but not necessarily literal, walking hand-in-hand into the sunset (or cuddled together on a rooftop watching the dawn rise ) moment.
5. Never say something is "your greatest work" until after you either you definitively stop creating (writing, drawing, sculpting, cooking, etc) for the rest of your life, or until you are dead; in the latter case, let others & history decide what is "your greatest work" ;) .
6. I do think this fan-work was well done, overall (besides my earlier points about not feeling conclusive, of course). As I posted before, I am generally not one for humanized &/or 'clop' stories, so that should also tell you something atop all this.
Clop aside (or in this cause would it just be fap?) I find this story to be really great, I find all the characters to be written quite well and some moments are just hopelessly endearing. The best being when Magnum's reply to Sweetie Bell about "liking" Applebloom. I just can't help but image that line being spoken by Red Foreman in his typical deadpan voice, and every time I do I start cracking up.
Really enjoyed what has been written thus far. Never expected the Applebloom/Sweetie Belle mix, but it makes really interesting. I can't wait to see how Applebloom outs her relationship to Granny Smith and Big Mac. Ahhhhhh!! Can't wait to see what you do with it!
Also, this just in my point of view being the youngest sibling. I would totally use the blackmail against Applejack if need be.
Well, I do have to say that I am impressed with the quality of your work. I have been looking for good quality 1st person fics, and this is one of the best ones I have seen to date.
I did notice some spelling and a few grammatical errors. Nothing major, but they were there. If you ever decide to go through and edit out those errors, I would be willing to serve as your editor.
2417895 One more chapter to come, but then like all good things it must end. I'm not going to continue this story and have it fall apart around me as things become stale or I run out of new ideas.
awww so no apple 3some? :P not a bad story its rare in the fact it has good story and character development and good sex too so good on ya! just hope to see a part 2 to this and maybe get Sweetie what she always wanted hehe
Okay, I finally read this chapter. It surprised me in a good way. I'm glad you didn't make it a creepy incest story like I was worried you were going to do. Overall, the story was good and you should feel good
That was was the classiest incest I have ever read Even though I don't care for the incest in stories that was well written, not to mention the previous chapters as well. The story was both romantic and sexy with a very nice open-mindedness which I enjoyed. The only issue I had was the strange sex craze that sweetie seemed to have, it seemed (at least to me and this was probably your full intention) out of character for her.
Overall an excellent story that I thoroughly enjoyed 8.5/10
great story! really surprised that AJ was so accepting but i knew she would be. also that part with big mac and AJ having sex to stay alive was a really good scene. so no three way between big mac AJ and AB?
i LOVE this story it is my number 1 favorite and i didn't expect applejack to say that she had seen them together
I like how this fic is progressing. I'm interested to see how Macintosh found out, cause in my head he already knows. It would be funny if he just casually drops the fact that he knew and that it doesn't matter who Applebloom loves, even funnier if he states that he thought they were already together before they actually were, but it's your decision how you write your story just voicing my thoughts. Either way I like your story and look forward to the next chapter.
Commence read.
Well, now their relationship is out there, Sweetie and Bloom, they can take it a bit easier and be happy. They have some very understanding family.
2355739
I wouldn't be surprised if he does. Macintosh is much more perceptive that he lets on.
So... APRILS FOOLS Tomorrow we will have the real chapter where Applebloom confesses to AJ and BM who proceed to "Buck the Gay outta her." The fic will end with mindbreak rape.
An interesting take on AJ and Mac's relationship, though I'll admit a bit disappointed they're gonna break up in such a way
2357174 This fic was posted after midday in my timezone so tradition means that it cannot be a trick.
2355739 Glad to hear you liked it. I've already used the casual 'I already knew' theme with Pearl and Magnum, so I won't be doing it again with Mac.
2355626>>2355651
After the final chapter, I think there should be a sequel!
2362401 And now that Knighty has posted that it was all just a massive troll about the Human fics being banned I might, but I have no real idea where to go from here as all the chapters were based off of pics from the art blog and I have now run through all the images related to Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle.
Maybe not a direct sequel, but a same universe story.
2362433 you could always include ab and sb telling Scootaloo and maybe something involving scoots. "hint" "hint" "wink" "wink"
@Fimbulvinter...
On Chapter 4...
1. I personally am relieved that things did not go the "cheaper" incest/orgy route, despite your inspiration of LunaIsMaiWaifu's fan-arts to that angle. Your tale of Applejack & Big Macintosh's fight for survival was a fairly well done enough.
2. Though as a minor technical (biological?) aside, arousal and the act of coitus may get the blood & body pumping, but post-coitus is actually a heat drain (the "afterglow," in which the body is venting lots of heat). So Applejack & Big Macintosh probably would have exhausted and frozen to death. But since that is not exactly "common knowledge," I can forgive & overlook it for your story ;) .
3. I too feel that this Chapter (#4) does not feel like a conclusive ending to the story. It is a good wrap-up over the Applejack & Big Macintosh portion, but not to Apple Bloom & Sweetie Belle, which I assumed was the core of this story. I just do not get that "The End" closure feeling with this.
4. A more conclusive ending would be something in the order of Apple Bloom & Sweetie Belle sharing an deeply emotional moment (not sex, but that can be the result of said emotional moment) now that they no longer need fear about, or hide, their Romantic relationship. A proverbial, but not necessarily literal, walking hand-in-hand into the sunset (or cuddled together on a rooftop watching the dawn rise ) moment.
5. Never say something is "your greatest work" until after you either you definitively stop creating (writing, drawing, sculpting, cooking, etc) for the rest of your life, or until you are dead; in the latter case, let others & history decide what is "your greatest work" ;) .
6. I do think this fan-work was well done, overall (besides my earlier points about not feeling conclusive, of course). As I posted before, I am generally not one for humanized &/or 'clop' stories, so that should also tell you something atop all this.
2362433
I'm just thinking that you can try to write something not influenced by a picture.
2372109 and just wait until you see where it goes.
Clop aside (or in this cause would it just be fap?) I find this story to be really great, I find all the characters to be written quite well and some moments are just hopelessly endearing. The best being when Magnum's reply to Sweetie Bell about "liking" Applebloom. I just can't help but image that line being spoken by Red Foreman in his typical deadpan voice, and every time I do I start cracking up.
2376563 I try.
Really enjoyed what has been written thus far. Never expected the Applebloom/Sweetie Belle mix, but it makes really interesting. I can't wait to see how Applebloom outs her relationship to Granny Smith and Big Mac. Ahhhhhh!! Can't wait to see what you do with it!
Also, this just in my point of view being the youngest sibling. I would totally use the blackmail against Applejack if need be.
Well, I do have to say that I am impressed with the quality of your work. I have been looking for good quality 1st person fics, and this is one of the best ones I have seen to date.
I did notice some spelling and a few grammatical errors. Nothing major, but they were there. If you ever decide to go through and edit out those errors, I would be willing to serve as your editor.
2410018 I may take you up on that offer for the last chapter.
Is there an ETA on the next chapter? I fucking love this story so far.
2416302 Just that I am working on it. I took a break to write something else for a bit, but now I am back on this one.
Cannot give you any form of ETA on this one at this time.
nooo
dont end it nooo
2417895 One more chapter to come, but then like all good things it must end. I'm not going to continue this story and have it fall apart around me as things become stale or I run out of new ideas.
Incest avoided!!!!!
awww so no apple 3some? :P
not a bad story its rare in the fact it has good story and character development and good sex too so good on ya! just hope to see a part 2 to this and maybe get Sweetie what she always wanted hehe
Fucking awesome story! I need more like this! I swear, I have never found clop as magnificent as this (next to Molestia)!
Okay, I finally read this chapter. It surprised me in a good way. I'm glad you didn't make it a creepy incest story like I was worried you were going to do. Overall, the story was good and you should feel good
Alright, time for the hot lesbian four way!
Beautiful! I love clop with plot! (Pun intended)
That was was the classiest incest I have ever read
Even though I don't care for the incest in stories that was well written, not to mention the previous chapters as well. The story was both romantic and sexy with a very nice open-mindedness which I enjoyed. The only issue I had was the strange sex craze that sweetie seemed to have, it seemed (at least to me and this was probably your full intention) out of character for her.
Overall an excellent story that I thoroughly enjoyed 8.5/10
i Love how on chapter 3, everyone was like " incest ugh."
Chapter 4 comes along however, "Oh It was Really Good!"
aw! Tell me there is a sequel???!!!!!
excellent 9/10 great keep the stories coming
Awww... my idea was dismissed.
This. Story Was. AWESOME. Thank You.
One word. Sequel. That is all
great story! really surprised that AJ was so accepting but i knew she would be. also that part with big mac and AJ having sex to stay alive was a really good scene. so no three way between big mac AJ and AB?