On the Subject of Relationships
On the Subject of Relationships
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Up the stairs. Across the room. Ignore Spike, ignore Twilight. Out the door. Door shuts behind me, slamming like a starting gun. Sun blinds me, wakes me up properly. Blink. Blink. Blink. Okay, keep going.
This is the first thirty seconds of my day, and I can only pray I don't smell terrible (I haven't showered or anything since I got here) as I make my way to Rarity's again. I'm an hour early, but I'll need it. I take a left, a right, another right, and I'm at the Sugarcube Corner. I step into the sugar-scented world that Pinkie Pie works in, and find a table set at a spot that keeps it invisible to anydragon who happens to look in from the outside. The shop's not as full as I thought it would be; fine by me. I want some quiet, and if I can't stay in my own bed then I'll settle for here. Here, I can get something that isn't gems for breakfast, and-
"Hiya, Emerald!!" A plate slams down in front of me, and it's full of donuts glazed with sparkling red frosting. Across from me is Pinkie, who's got her head in her hands in a way that makes me feel like I'm on a date with her. She tilts her head one way, then another, then points at the donuts.
"You asked for no gems, right? Those are gem-free. And on the house, by the way. I know you have money now, but I can tell you've got something on your mind, and when that happens to one of my friends, I can't let them pay for comfort food, and nothing's more comforting than Sugarcube Corner's Comfy Creme-filled Donuts!"
Maybe coming here for some peace wasn't a good idea. I glance down at the plate of pastries before me.
"I didn't tell you what I wanted, Pinkie."
She giggles again. "Of course not, silly! But Auntie Pinkie always knows what dragons want. So,"--she pulls a milkshake that wasn't on the table a few seconds ago close and takes a long, glass-emptying sip--"what'cha wanna talk about?"
Yep. Definitely a mistake. "Pinkie, I don't want to talk about anything. I need to think about what I'm gonna do in the next few days. Rarity and I have a date, and I have to find my way back home, and now Spike-"
"-knows you're Spike too?"
She's looking at me like she's supposed to have known that. I'm probably looking at her like she's a psychic that's just correctly guessed what I've had for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the past ten days. Like an idiot, I sputter out:
"Spike told you."
"Nope." She puts her head back in her hand. "You did. Just now. Actually, I guess Spike did tell me. Just not the one you were thinking of." She's very unimpressed by the presence of a Spike from another universe. Then again, it is Pinkie. I used to think she always faced things like this. I slide down in my seat a little, feeling like I'm about to explode. Pinkie just sucks down more milkshake.
"How did you know?" I finally ask.
More giggles. "Silly Spikey! As if I wouldn't recognize you! Just 'cause you've got scales instead of fur, doesn't make you unrecognizable. I mean, you didn't even change colors or your voice or anything! If you really wanted to hide, you shoulda done that. When I first saw you, I thought 'Oh wow! Spike got that one spell right, finally! I bet he's on his way to see Rarity and give her the good news!' But then you saw me, and you got all scared, like I wasn't supposed to be there or something, so I decided to get things figured out, only my head works really super fast, so by the time I'd gotten to you I'd already figured out you didn't know who I was. So I thought, 'Hey, this is cool! A dragon-Spike that doesn't know us!' So I introduced myself like I didn't know you, and you acted like you didn't know me, and it was super duper fun, until I got all confused when Rarity fell in-" She hiccups, or does something like that, and I take the chance to interrupt her.
"OK, I get it. You know who I really am." I glance around like there might be somedragon listening in on us. "Please, don't advertise it. I don't want things getting too out of hand."
Pinkie nods. "I Pinkie Pie Promise (insert the proper motions here) not to tell anydragon that you're really Spike from another dimension or something." She takes another sip. "So...wanna talk about it?"
I sigh. There's really no point arguing with Pinkie. Besides, it might be helpful to be able to talk with somedragon who can know what my real predicament is without freaking out. "Alright Pinkie, yes. I want to talk about it."
The pink dragin claps her hands together. "I'll get another round of milkshakes!"
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We talk for most of the hour I have before I have to go to Rarity's. Most of that time is used up by me as I tell my story (or, as much as I know about it) to Pinkie, who is a surprisingly good listener for somedragon so loud and energetic. When I'm done, she taps her fingers against her chin and hums some song I've heard somewhere on a radio. She scrunches her face up like she's thinking hard about something, and for a second I have this glittering feeling of hope that she'll have a solution to my problem.
"So, you get a tailboner every time you see a dragon that's larger than you? Like, even drakes?"
Of all the things to comment on, she picks on the one little spot in my story where I mention how odd it is being around somedragon huge like Applejack. I almost slam my face into the table, but switch at the last second to my hand.
"Pinkie! I really need your help here!"
"I know! You've got a serious size problem, Spike! I didn't even realize-"
"Pinkie!"
"What?" It takes a few seconds before-"Ohhhhhh, the Celebration!" She shrugs, and fiddles with her straw. "I didn't think there was a problem with that. Really, just wear something nice, I bet Rarity's already making you something. Don't get nervous, don't worry about other-Spike or Twilight or anydragon, and just have fun. Ooh, and don't forget: if you really want to get her hooked, kiss her when the fireworks start, under the gazebo at the park! That place is secretly the best area in town to watch fireworks! You can-"
"Pinkie," I interrupt, placing a claw over her mouth, "I don't think you understand what I'm saying right now: I can't have a relationship with Rarity."
She pushes my hand out of the way and gives me a frustrated look. "Well, why not?"
A frustrated sigh lets itself past my lips without my permission. "Pinkie, I have to go back to my world. I can't leave Rarity here with a broken heart. I couldn't do that to her."
"Then don't! Tell her who you are!"
"Tell her--Pinkie, are you crazy? I can't do that?"
"Why not?"
"She'll think I'm crazy, or a liar, or some kind of pervert!"
"Not if you prove it to her! If you tell her something only Spike would know, then you'd be alright!"
"What could I possibly tell her that would keep me from getting burnt to a crisp?"
Now Pinkie gives me the most mocking look I've ever seen her make. "Uh, the Fire Ruby incident? Duh?"
I need to tell her that she's wrong, that that would never, ever work, not in a million years, but some part of me is saying that it might just. I pause long enough for Pinkie to glance at something behind me, and her eyes widen suddenly.
"Oh no! It's almost ten! You're gonna be late!" She gets up at lightning speed and yanks me up with her. "You've gotta go tell Rarity who you really are!" She pushes me towards the door of the Sugarcube Corner. "Go go go! Now! And remember, if you need to talk about this, Auntie Pinkie's always here for you, Spike. I Pinkie Pie Promise." I have no time to say anything before I'm outside, the door's shut behind me, and when I turn around Pinkie's back behind the counter of the bakery, serving some blue drake I've never seen before. She gives me a look that tells me to hurry up, and I'm about to argue when I realize I'm blocking the door to the Corner, and there's a burly white drake about ten time's my height looming over me. I thank him for not stepping on me by accident, and walk away from the Sugarcube Corner hesitantly. I wonder if I'm actually going to take Pinkie's advice, and tell Rarity who I am. I want to, badly, but if I do, I feel that I might be doing more harm than help.
Of course you will. She would think you're crazy. You would leave her brokenhearted. And you can't do that. Not to her. And yet, plans form in my head that would never work, and I find myself lost in my own thoughts on my way to the Carousel Boutique.
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I know from the moment Rarity answers her door that it isn't going to be easy to get her to simply sit and talk. How, one might ask, do I know this? The answer is this: when Rarity answers the door to the Boutique, she's using the "I've just stepped out of the shower" technique on me. I'm actually a little flattered: she'd never do that in Ponyville. The best way to describe the way the "I've just stepped out of the shower" technique works, surprisingly, is the line she always opens with:
"Oh, Emerald!" Rarity said, adjusting the embroidered towel wrapped around her body to keep it from slipping off. "I wasn't expecting you just yet; I'm afraid you've caught me getting out of the shower."
Yeah, it's like that. Now, normally, this wouldn't get to me (completely), because I've seen her try this on a few of the colt's she's seduced over the years (100% success rate, by the way). However, I have never seen a dragoness with wet scales before. I have never seen dripping spines that hang down the side of her face like they're bangs. I have never seen a towel cling so tightly to such flattering curves, or scales that shimmer in the sunlight when wet, or a dragoness that knows exactly how to move her spines out of her face in the sexiest way imaginable. And because I have never seen these beautiful, amazing things before, I am rendered a total blubbering mess by the combination of all of the above. And boy, does Rarity use that to her advantage.
"Oh dear!" She puts a claw on my forehead. "Are you alright? You're shivering!" She's evil, she's merciless, she's making a complete fool out of me, and dammit, I wish I had control over my body! She tells me I should come inside, and I nod. In my head, I'm remembering the last time this happened while I was in the Boutique. It wasn't me being flirted with back then. Rarity and I had made an agreement that each time this happened, I had to get out of there without the nameless colt she was wooing seeing me. Usually, this ended up being a situation where I just sat in the closet until I heard a door slam shut. Of course, when I hit those wonderfully rebellious teen years, I felt the need to watch her go through the motions, just to see what it was like.
To put a long story short, the claw marks I made gripping the door that day are still there. She never found out.
She leads me to her couch, I sit down, and she leaves, telling me she'll be right back and that then we can "get down to business." I have the time to regain my senses, and I spend the precious few minutes before Rarity returns telling myself not to act like the bumbling, love-struck lizard I was ten years ago, and that it was ridiculous to get nervous about seeing her with a towel wrapped around her body, as dragons in this town usually go around naked anyway (some traits from both worlds stick, I guess) and that's probably what she'll be like when she comes back to me. Rarity returns after what feels like only a minute, dried off and primped up. As I guessed, she's naked, save for a golden chain necklace that runs down onto her somehow less-noticeable chest. I wonder briefly what the towel did to make the situation so awkward before Rarity sits down next to me. She still has bedroom eyes, which means I'm still in for something I think I might actually want.
"Better, Emerald?" she says, fluttering her eyelashes. She's made herself up well; I wonder how long I've actually been sitting on this couch sweating. I nod, and she smiles and says, "Excellent. Now we can begin..." She leans in closer, and I don't even resist what's about to happen. I can feel her slide her arms around me and up to my neck, as she brings our faces closer, closer, closer...
And then she wraps the measuring tape around my neck. Lips that are only an inch away from mine stretch into a sly grin, and she whispers, "...your fitting." She shakes a few spines out of her eyes, and moves back enough to see the size of my neck. "We'll need to get your measurements today, if you want a suit for our date in a few days." Her bedroom eyes are gone, her bedroom tone is gone, and its like what just happened didn't happen. She checks the measuring tape, mumbles a number to herself, and her horn lights up. From the designing table across the room floats a quill and piece of parchment, which writes down the number I assume is the width of my neck. Then she gets up and gestures to the small stage set up in the shop portion of the boutique, visible from the room we're in.
"Well then," she says, giving me a smile, "if you'll just step up to the stage, then we can get the rest of your measurements."
So it goes, for the next fifteen minutes: Rarity sets up something that could turn into us going at each other right in the middle of her designing room, then passes it off as her simply measuring part of my body. Checking out my biceps? Nope, we need to make those sleeves fit. Ooh, feel those pecks...or just get the width of my upper torso. Oh Spike, you're tail is so thick! That might make it difficult to make the pants, you don't mind wearing suspenders under your jacket, right? I am certain that this is a form of torture they use down in Tartarus, for the ones who really deserve it. It becomes too much when she begins measuring the width of my thighs (I don't even think that's a real measurement!), and I try to voice my problem to her.
"Uh, Rarity? When'll these be done?"
A jolt runs up my spine as her claws brush dangerously close to Spike Jr. She replies: "Oh, this won't take long. Just one more measurement to make." To my intense relief, she begins to move upward, leaving my crotch alone. "Why? Do have somewhere to be anytime soon?"
Uh oh, bedroom voice. "Um, I was going to start figuring out where I am. Twilight wanted to try something to jog my memory, and-"
I choke up when Rarity slides her arms around my neck. She's staring at me with her bedroom eyes, and she talks in that bedroom voice: "And?" She begins measuring my neck, something I know we've already done. I glance past her: the clipboard where she's been writing down my measurements is sitting on the design table nearby, completely forgotten.
I try to continue. "A-And I wanted to see if where I'm from is anywhere nearby, so I know how long it'll take to get back-" Again, I'm stopped, because Rarity has just tightened the measuring tape a bit too tightly around my neck.
"Ooh, terribly sorry, darling." She loosens it, but doesn't seem to be measuring me anymore. We're dangerously close, and I pray that Sweetie Belle is asleep or not here, because if she comes down the stairs, things are going to go horribly wrong for everydragon.
"So, you're going to try and remember what happened to you?" she continues, not moving away, or moving at all, for that matter. "A--Are you going to leave when you find where your town is?"
"W-Well, yeah." I'm very much in a bad place right now. I think I'm sweating. "Why wouldn't I?"
Rarity gives me a hurt look. "Well, you might just leave something behind..." She leans in closer, and our noses touchOhCelestiaI'mNotGonnaMakeIt.
"...something very important." She's opening her mouthOhSweetLunaStopHerStopHerStopHerNowYouIdiotStop.
"Rarity!" My body, on instinct, does some sort of primal survival squirm, and I end up shoving myself off of the stage. I land hard on my spines, bending some to the point of snapping. Those are definitely sprained. A shadow falls over my face as Rarity comes to my aid.
"Emerald! What in Celestia's name was that?" The annoyance in her voice is well hidden, but it's still there, and I know she expects an answer from me. I rub my head, straightening the spines that will allow it, and mumble, "Don't want..." Which, admittedly, probably wasn't the smartest thing I could say. I look up and see a slightly sad, mostly still shocked and annoyed face peering down at me.
"'Don't want'?" Rarity leans in closer, squinting. "'Don't want' what?"
I have to explain. "I don't want to be like that with you!" As I say this, I put my arms up like a shield in front of me, and I can almost hear her heart shatter like fine china. I gaze at her through my arms, and she's looking very much shattered. "Um," I say, thinking before I speak for once, "I mean, right now."
She moves her head away, and I cautiously lower my arms. "I-Is that okay?" Again, wrong thing to say.
Rarity's holding her head in her hands. I think I've just made her cry. Stumbling over myself trying to prevent that from happening, I blurt out my next few sentences like a whelp whose voice is just changing:
"I mean with the sex thing! I don't want that from you! I mean, I do, if that's alright with you, that is, but I want that after I get to know you! Like, actually know you, and we've gone out on a date or two! I just don't want you the way you came on to me just now! I really, really want to go out with you, please understand that! Like, to the Summer Sun Celebration! With a new suit!" I don't think even I know what I've just said. Rarity gives me a sickeningly sad look, and I feel like vomiting. I step up to her, and she doesn't do anything. I still have to explain.
"Rarity, there's a lot you don't know about me. You don't know where I'm from, or how I got here, or even what my favorite gem is. One thing you really should know, though, is that I really, really like you. I like you so much, that I actually want to take things slow with you. I'm that bent on not messing this up. You get that, right?" Please, please, please, please, please, please...
Rarity wipes at something in her eye, and turns away from me. "You mean that?" she asks. As if I could lie to her about that.
"Yeah. I really do." No response, and she does something with her face while she's turned away from me. When she turns back to me, thank Celestia, Luna, and the heavens they control, she's smiling.
"I suppose I acted a bit unladylike." She steps close. "And I would love to get to know more about you."
I'm going to tell her, just like Pinkie said. I'll tell her where I'm from, and how I got here, and when she starts yelling that I'm crazy I'll prove it by telling her how beautiful she looked as we fell together, that faithful day when I honestly, truly fell in love with her. I'll say this, and she'll realize it's me, and she'll be so happy to hear me finally say it, and we'll kiss and end up doing what I just stopped myself from doing right here on the dressing room floor. I'm going to tell her.
Just as soon as I know I don't have to leave.
"Listen, Rarity," I say, swallowing my other plan and letting it burn in my flame sack, "I really am sorry about earlier. I-" am interrupted by her claw, which covers my mouth to let her talk.
"No, Emerald, I'm afraid I have to apologize. I acted extremely rude, and I hope you can forgive me for such uncouth behavior."
I laugh when she moves her hand away. "Hey, I'm getting a suit and a date out of this. I've gotta forgive you."
She giggles in response. My heart flutters. "Thank you," she says, and gives me a sudden sly smirk. "And, if I may offer some advice..."
"What?"
Her arms wrap tighter around my neck, and our noses touch. She stares me in the eye, and for a second I think she's gonna try and kiss me. Cue drumroll. I hear her whisper:
"The next time we're this close together, don't pass up any opportunities. You might hurt somedragon's feelings." Then she moves away, and steps over to the list of measurements she took down from me. She picks it up and brings her glasses over to her face with her magic. She mumbles a bit to herself as she takes in my measurements, and looks up at me when I do nothing but stand and gawk. "You can go now, Emerald, we're all done now. Come again tomorrow, and you can try on your suit."
I don't wanna go. "Don't you need help?" I protest.
Rarity smiles slyly again. "I can manage one ensemble on my own. Besides, if you worked on your own outfit, that would ruin the surprise, now, wouldn't it?" After many complaints, all of which are received well and promptly ignored, I'm pushed out of the Boutique, and it's only 11:30. I suppose that's payback, and I suppose I deserve it. So, I've got nothing to do for the rest of the day. Unless...
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Pinkie's face droops momentarily when I waltz back into the Sugarcube Corner, and her cheerfulness seems a little more forced as I stand in line behind other customers. She doesn't look at them very much as I wait for my turn, so I'm relieved by the time it's my turn to order.
"One..." I scan the menu, but Pinkie is already writing something down on a pad.
"One emerald shake with extra whipped cream and caramel sauce and an order of Surprise Glazed Donuts, along with another session with your old Auntie Pinkie, coming right up!" she rattles off quickly, grinning not-so-widely. "I have a break in a few minutes. Just head on back to our usual table, and I'll be with you in a jiffy!"
I think I've only just now realized that this is Pinkie I'm talking to, and not just some dragin that looks like her. I assume our "usual table" is the one we sat at a few hours ago, so I make my way there, imagining different ways that Pinkie could have known what I wanted before I did (heck, I don't even know if I wanted a milkshake) and trying to remember if I'd made a Pinkie Pie Promise to tell Rarity who I was today. Of course, Rarity being Rarity, the mere thought of her drags my mind away from Pinkie Pie and over to the date I have with her. I sit down and stare at the grain of the table, lost in the fantasy world I so often go to when I imagine how perfect being with Rarity would (no, will!) be. I don't even notice Pinkie approaching, and when she slams my milkshake down on the tabletop I yelp and dig my claws into my seat, effectively scarring it permanently.
"Okee dokie, Spikey Wikey!" she shouts. To my horror, a dragon at the table nearest to us looks over at us, or me, specifically. He looks me up and down, and confusion turns to shock as he recognizes my color scheme. I act like I don't get why, and give him a weird, accusing look. It works, and he turns back to his meal. As calmly as I can manage, I smile at Pinkie and tell her what's wrong with calling me "Spikey Wikey" so loudly. She, having not seen the drake's reaction to her outburst, nods and glances around mischievously.
"Good idea, Sp- I mean, Emerald." The way she says this and winks at me makes me feel as if everydragon around us already knows who I am, and I'm part of some practical joke that ends with a "We Knew You Were Really Spike The Whole Time!" party. "How'd it go with Rarity?"
Here goes. "Well, uh, about that..."
Pinkie bites into a doughnut nonchalantly. "You didn't tell her who you were," she says, chewing thoughtfully. She licks her lips, rolling her eyes in pleasure. "Mmm. Strawberry Opal."
Remember, Spike, it's Pinkie. "...No, I didn't."
Pinkie sighs. "So, does that mean you broke it all off with her?" She takes an enormous gulp of one of the two green milkshakes on the table, ignoring the straw she's put in it. I try to answer her, but she sets the milkshake down and says, "Didn't think so," like I've already told her. "Well," she continues, "what's poor Pony-Spikey gonna do now?"
He's gonna go back to Ponyville instead of me, that's what. "I...I don't know."
Pinkie crosses her arms. "Well, you can't just keep lying about it. You know what happens when you do that."
"I know, and it'll probably blow up in my face if I don't get out of here soon, but-"
"You're leaving?" Pinkie tilts her head adorably. "Why are you leaving?"
"Because I have to, Pinkie. I can't just leave Twilight and the others in Ponyville without any idea what happened to me. Heck, I don't even know what happened to me! I could be dead, for all I know!"
I'm chilled by this new theory I've just thought up, and Pinkie frowns sadly as I shiver from the prospect of this all being some sort of pre-mortis hallucination. That drake is staring at us again. This time, I stare him in the eye, and he turns back to his food quickly.
"I don't think you're dead, Spike." Pinkie sounds very serious, a fact that frightens me more than the prospect of being dead. "I just think you're getting super worked up over something that doesn't need to be worried about." She reaches over and takes my hand. "You shouldn't worry about all of what's happening in some other crazy dimension right now. After all,"--she grins happily--"you've got a date to deal with."
Somehow, those words are comforting, and I feel myself smiling back at this crazy, hyperactive, amazing dragin. Rainbow Dash's words repeat themselves in my head:
You can't know how something will happen until it happens.
I laugh, and say, "I think you're right, Pinkie." I glance at the green and brown monster of a shake in front of me. "Hey, how much you wanna bet I can chug this in one go?"
Pinkie grins. The game is on.
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Absolutely nothing interesting happens the rest of that day, save for a pretty funny moment where Twilight tripped while sprinting down the stairs trying to get me to read some amnesia spell she found that might help me.
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Tomorrow arrives with a very shocking bit of news. Or rather, a lack of news. For the first time since I arrived in Serpentia, I have had no dreams.
A few nights ago, this would have made me happy: my dreams have been nothing but maddening flashes of events that I don't recognize. When I realized that what I had been seeing were my own lost memories (which, ashamedly, was only a day ago), I came to the following conclusion, presented here in this convenient scientific-sounding theory:
The amount of sleep Spike receives each night is directly proportional to the amount of memory he recovers that night.
So, when I wake up this fine morning, with only one more day between this one and the Summer Sun Celebration, to find that I've gleamed nothing from my good night's rest, I'm almost angry at myself for not sleeping well enough. I spend ten, fifteen, thirty minutes tossing myself around in bed before resigning myself to my internal alarm clock and getting out of bed. I stumble up the stairs and into the library kitchen, where Twilight and Spike are sitting down to breakfast. Both give me cheerful smiles, but Spike's easily looks a little forced. The now-familiar wave of repulsion washes over me, and I realize I'll never get used to them, however many times it happens.
"Morning," I mumble, heading for the fruit bowl immediately.
"Good morning, Emerald," Spike replies. "Did you look over those maps I gave you yesterday?"
Oh yeah, I got some maps from him as a way to "find just how long it'll take to get back home." I threw them into a corner of my room, and I think they're still down there. I didn't even unfold them.
"Yeah, but I can't find my town on the map. It must be too small, it was a pretty general map." Too easy.
Spike gives me a very unsettling smile, complete with raised eyebrow. "Are you sure? There was nothing that gave you any clue as to where your home is?"
Oh yeah, and Spike wants me to figure out how to send him to Ponyville. He must have expected me to figure it out by looking at whatever's actually on those papers or whatever. I guess there were a few interesting things that happened yesterday.
"Um...Nope, sorry!" I sit down and bite into an apple. "I'll have to do something about it today. Unless..." I turn to Twilight. "Did Rarity give you another message for me?"
Twilight shakes her head. "Nope. You're free today. Maybe we'll try that memory spell I showed you yesterday. We can figure out how you ended up outside the Everfree."
Somehow, I don't think that'll work. I say, "Maybe. I was kind of hoping to get used to the town. I've gotten lost, like, twice on my way to the Carousel Boutique. It would kind of suck for that to happen on the way to the Summer Sun Celebration tomorrow."
"Well then," says Spike, "why don't you check the map for the route? It's easy, and it sure beats wandering around Dragonsville for hours wasting your time!" His smile is so forced, even Twilight notices it, and she can be thicker than (forgive me) a dictionary.
"Um, is there something you two are in on that I'm not?" she asks, raising an eyebrow. My eyes are glued to Spike's, and the purple pony quicky answers in as deadpan a voice as possible.
"Nope. Just giving Spike some friendly advice." He taps his hooves on the tabletop, and his voice reverts to normal. "Welp, guess that's breakfast for me, then! I think I'll go get some more spellbooks for you to look through, Twi." He gets up and heads to the kitchen door before turning to me. "Emerald, why don't you come with me? There's a few interesting excerpts Twilight found yesterday that might shed some light on what might have caused your amnesia."
It's a very thin veil that's hiding Spike's true intent for calling me away from Twilight. Not wanting to leave the breakfast table so soon, I say, "Uh, besides hitting my head really hard on a rock? Sounds boring." I catch the dirtiest look I've ever seen Twilight give, and realize that I've just accidentally insulted her research. Quickly, I recover: "But, uh, maybe you and Twilight are onto something." I get up and follow Spike out the kitchen door, tossing my apple core in the trash and giving Twilight a small, nervous wave as she followed me out with a dangerous look.
The moment we stepped out of the kitchen and Twilight's line of vision, Spike dropped the act and went from cheerful and friendly to the irksome and angry colt I'd come to know. He trotted into the library maze, and I followed him hesitantly, wondering if he was actually going to show me anything. He had a great many reasons to kill me, and with the maze of the library as the crime scene, there was an all-too-likely chance that my corpse might never be found. Still, I followed him, trying to remember the path we took as we sank back into the depths of the library.
Left, left, right, left, right, left, straight, left, left, straight, right, right, right, left, right, right, left, three rows down, left, right, left, right, left, left, left, left, right, right, two rows down, right, four rows down, and then I lost count. I'll have to talk with pony-Twilight about this kind of expansion spell, see if I can make my room bigger; it would be nice to add a slide or two.
Finally, we reach a writing desk, not unlike the one I'd met the dragin Twilight at four days ago. Spike sat at it, took a very deep breath, then turned to me and let me have it.
"What are you doing? You're spending all of your time here sleeping and going to Rarity's and drinking milkshakes with Pinkie and-"
"Wait a minute," I interrupt. "Have you been following me whenever I go out?"
"That's not the point!" Spike shouts. "You're wasting your time doing all of that, when you should be figuring out a way to get back home. Or at least, get me back home." He stomps a hoof against the desk. "We had a deal."
I sigh and say, "Listen, bud, I can't just figure out how I got here or how to get back. I don't even know where here is. I've come up with a bunch of theories, but not a single one gives me any clue as to what could get me back to my world. And even then, I don't know if I could come back here once I leave."
"Well, that's why I leave instead of you," replies Spike. "If it's a one-way trip like you're assuming, just toss me through the portal, and we'll be fine."
"But I don't know if there is a portal! I might just blink out of this world and pop back into Ponyville. I might never be able to go back at all. Hell, I might not have actually left. I'm still open to the possibility that I might be dreaming this whole thing, or even worse, I might have died a-"
A blunt hoof strikes me across the face. I stumble backwards and rub my aching cheek. When my vision stops spinning, I see Spike smirking smugly at me, rubbing the hoof he no doubt just hit me with.
"Did you feel that?" he asks. In response, I rattle off a few inventive cuss words at him. "Good," he says, "that means you aren't dreaming. Now, think, Spike: what seemed off when you woke up here?"
It's a dumb question, and he's a dumb pony for asking it. "Oh, nothing. Just the countless dragon population in a place I thought was my home."
Spike groans and rubs his temple. "No, I mean right when you woke up. Was there anything off about the exact spot where you appeared?"
Oh. I think about that, and after a second say, "Not really. I just woke up in this pasture, just off the side of the road. I was in the dirt, and I felt like crap, and a mosquito buzzed into my ear, and I got up and-"
Wait. I remember now. There was one thing, one small, papery thing that was off about my arrival, besides the whole being in the dirt outside the Everfree thing. One thing that I've been ignoring and keeping in my storage center this whole time. And I think I already know what it means.
"Well, what is it?" Apparently, my realization shows, because Spike is staring up at my face with hopeful desire. "Do you remember something?" When I nod, he grins and bounces in his seat. "That's fantastic! What is it?"
I cough up the parchment, and slowly unfold it, in a way that's probably way too dramatic for my own good. My only message from my world, or at least something outside this one, stares out at me:
Two Weeks
I hand it to Spike. He looks over it, reading it once, twice, three times, before his face lights up with revelation.
"This is great! Now we know exactly how much time you've got before you leave!"
Hearing it from Spike's lips makes it solidify in my head: I have a time limit. I knew, I suppose, maybe not when I first read it, but for a long time to be sure. But it can't be true, not when I have Rarity.
"Are you sure? What makes you think that I'm going to leave?"
Spike looks at me like I'm an idiot. "What else would it be, Spike?" Hearing him say my name is weird, and I bet it's even weirder for him to say it. I search my mind for another possible answer.
"Uh, well, it could...mean somepony else is coming?" Actually, that sounds logical. "Yeah, somepony else is coming! In two weeks! Well, actually it's only about nine days away, but-"
Spike hits me again to shut me up. Then he says, "Stop it. You're being stupid, and if I know that, then so do you. There's nopony and nodragon coming here from your world besides you. You're in denial because you really don't want to leave."
He's right, but I yell, "That's not true!" in a childish voice anyway. Spike rolls his eyes at me.
"As if." He squints at me, as if trying to see something he's not sure is on my face. "Y'know, it makes me wonder what happened to you before you came here, to make you not want to go back so badly."
"Yeah, well, you'd understand if I told you," I reply.
Spike's eyes widen. He stutters, "Y--You remember what happened to you? How-"
"Not all of it," I interrupt. "It's not everything, but I'm certain I know why I left, or wanted to leave anyway." I look down at the floor, and add hesitantly, "You've gone through the same sort of thing, in a way."
In a flat, but very worried tone Spike says, "You and Rarity had a falling out."
I laugh, despite how sad it is that he's right. "That's only one piece of the puzzle. There were...other circumstances that made things go bad." I sigh. "Let's just say it was the perfect storm, and when it finally calmed down, I was here."
Spike stares at me, silent. I want to turn and leave, but I'm not sure if I can get back without my unicorn counterpart. So I just stand and stare back at him.
"Tell me what happened," he finally says.
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"If you don't tell me why you're so bent on staying here, I'll ensure that you can't." He leans forward in his seat. "So start talking."
I'm not sure if he's actually capable of getting the townsdragons to hate me, but something in the menacing tone of his voice tells me that the first dragon he's going to mess with is Rarity. So, figuring that a little storytelling will be good for me, I say, "Fine. It'll help with the stress.
"It began when Rarity was invited by Hoity Toity to a Fashion Expo held for a weekend in Canterlot. There, she would be able to put a line of outfits on display for the world to see, and if she did well, she could become rich and famous like she'd always dreamed, not that she wasn't already famous for the whole Element of Generosity. She immediately accepted, and when Twilight caught wind of her trip, she wrote the Princess and had her provide us with rooms and transportation to the city. As it happened, Rarity needed an assistant to help with perfecting her dresses, so I was able to go on. I only realized I was only taken along as an assistant, and not a friend, later, when everything fell apart.
"Anyway, we arrived at the castle, and right off the bat things began to go wrong. The guards, under Celestia's orders, had prepared six bedchambers for the girls. For me, they did nothing...No, that's not true. They gave me a pet bed, in Twilight's room. It was actually very comfortable, when you rolled up into a ball so you could fit in it.
"The first day there was the day of the Expo's opening at midnight, but Rarity wasn't presenting until the day after, so each of us took the time to check out some sights in the city, except of course Rarity, who shut herself in her room and demanded that no one enter, not even me. So, I spent the day roaming around. At some point I reached the Royal Kitchen, and the moment I stepped in, I was tackled to the ground. Everypony there either didn't recognize me or didn't know me, so they thought I was some attacking monster. I was almost murdered by a sous-chef.
"That was the first incident. Then came when Rarity and I had to go into town to get supplies. While Rarity went to pick out fabrics, I stayed at a nearby park and met a few foals playing. We started a game, but one of the kid's mothers thought I was actually a monster trying to hurt her child. She hit me and sent me away, something that actually pissed her kid off more than it pissed me off. Rarity and I were going to have lunch next, but when we reached the restaurant Rarity wanted to go to, the head waiter said 'no pets allowed.' At that point I was sick of the whole thing, so I left her there, which was probably pretty rude of me. I got bored at one point during the day, and read through a bunch of library books. One had a description of dragons that made them all look like these horrible, dumb monsters that had no minds and no feelings. And I could have taken all that, if it wasn't for what happened while I helped Rarity with the dresses and what happened after that.
"We were working on them, and I was, well, basically admiring her blatantly. I was so lost that when she started talking to me, I kinda told her I loved her. Ironic, huh? Years and years, and it comes out in one brainless moment. What I was expecting was the worst few minutes of my life. Instead, I got something maddeningly ambiguous: she told me to give her more time. Of course, I did, without complaint, but it was nerve wracking, the way we kept working. There was this awkward subtext to everything that happened, and we barely managed to finish Rarity's dresses in time. When we did, though, it was like a weight had been lifted off of her: she lit up like a candle and popped a celebratory champagne bottle. We went out onto the balcony overlooking the entire city, glasses in our grip, and toasted to her success. That was when things went wrong, because I decided I couldn't wait any longer.
"I brought it up as smoothly as I could, trying to pull her in gently. But...I lost control of myself. Before I knew it, I'd kissed her, and amazingly, impossibly, she was kissing me back. It was the most perfect moment in my life. Until she felt my teeth. Or my fangs, I should say. My deadly, gem-crushing, potentially flesh-tearing fangs.
"She was afraid of me, in that moment, and it ruined everything. I felt her shiver against me, and I got mad. I got really, really mad. I was probably meaner to her than I should have been, if I should have been at all, but I didn't care at the moment. I yelled, I think, and left as fast as I could in my numb state. I was horrified to find that the mare of my dreams was afraid of me, after all these years of us working together. It tore me apart.
"But time doesn't stop just because your world does, and Rarity's fashion exhibition was tomorrow. I was required to go, being credited as one of the 'creators,' though nopony seemed to believe that, including me, so I put on a fake smile and the suit she'd made for me and headed out with the girls. I wasn't sure if I could make it through another handful of hours getting gawked at and made fun of behind my back, but I found I had an easier time when something alcoholic was in my claw. I spent most of the Expo standing in isolated places, though I did chat with a few of the ponies who knew me. One of them convinced me to try and patch things up with Rarity, and I began to make my way over to her. And then..."
That was it. That was all I knew. Spike gathered this from my silence, and looked away from my face for the first time since I'd started. He stared down at the floor, and it occurred to me that he hadn't said anything, made any sound, or faces, or even the slightest of movements during my entire monologue. I watched him silently, and, as a way to postpone the awkward silence filling the row of books we stood in, I said, "That's all I remember, now." I sigh. "I don't know how I'm here, Spike, or what brought me here or when or if I'll go back forever or temporarily, but I do know why I want to be here: no matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, I can never have a normal life in Ponyville."
Something drips on the wood floor of the library, from Spike. I know what it is, and say nothing. I feel my own "liquid sorrow" well up in my eyes, and I pinch the bridge of my nose to stop it. I feel a hoof rest on my shoulder suddenly, and looked up into the eyes of my counterpart. Once more, perhaps because we are in a place very similar to where it first happened, I feel a shock run through my body from the spot he touches. This time, though, we aren't forced away from each other. It feels more as though we're bonding together, and I almost think that his hoof might not be able to remove itself from my body.
Spike smiles up at me, understanding me more than anything in any world could ever understand me. He opens his mouth and chokes on something, takes a deep breath, then tries again. And this time, he makes noise:
"I'm sorry."
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man... pony-spike was a dick!
I loved everything in this chapter except one thing, it made Rarity sound easy. It basically goes as far as saying she would sleep with any random colt who had her fancy for the day. To make matters worse, she does this with Spike in the boutique helping her. Just doesn't sound like the romantic Rarity plays out to be, or the friend.
I love these encounters with Spike and himself. They are creating a bond based on understanding and pity.
Poor Dragon-Spike. Love betrayed by biology.
Finally, something is looking up a little, even if it's only the Spikes bonding a little. And clearing up the chronology for the events was nice, I was a little confused because I couldn't quite figure how the flashbacks fit together and what the time frame was. Though I think it is technically bad form to have both flashbacks and an explanation of the flashbacks afterwards, so it's my problem that I couldn't keep the flashbacks straight.
One thing though, it occurred to me, again, that your PonySpike in particular just strikes me as off. First, the thought "He had a great many reasons to kill me, and with the maze of the library as the crime scene, there was an all-too-likely chance that my corpse might never be found.", even if in jest, sounds over the top and frankly, mildly psychotic. Some guy coming on to the one you love is not "a great many reasons to kill (him)". But that might just be me.
Also, the PonySpike hitting Spike? Neither cool nor in character, the Spike I remember from the show was, other than in the grip of greed-growth, sarcastic, whiny and angry at times, but he showed it with sharp words and looks, not violence. Just pointing it out.
Damnit all, I still have to know how this goes, so that goes to show your writing is still good.
Poor Dragon-Spike biology is a cruel mistress.
It was heart warming when both Spikes were bonding.
"Sometimes...
... are the only magical words you need." ~Timmy Turner in The Masked Magician
2629024 It's not simply the sex, but more that she does it knowing how he feels about her with him there. I mean that's just a bitch move.
Pinkie Pie, the Element of Honest
...wait
Pinky is Pinky in any world place, or dimension.
No more, poor Spike, but, now, he have a brother.
Wow Rarity.... That's.... kind of a special kind of evil!
And this happens AFTER the greed growth incident where he overtly told her how he felt?
Was she doing that as an indirect way to tell Spike the dragon that she didn't want to date a dragon?
I mean, I'm not against her dating other chars that aren't Spike (I like me the Blue BloodXRarity, HumanXRarity, Fancy PantsXRarity, and Rarijack) but at least have her a bit mindful of Spike's feelings to where she lets him down gently.
Spike has earned enough Quantum of Solace from Rarity to get THAT much!
Ah, good to know the two are bonding...
This story is slightly depressing me.
There was another slip up in this chapter. You said "colt" instead of "drake".
3853327
Boom. Done.
—NARP.com
Maybe I misread but I have a hard time picturing Spike sitting in a closet while Rarity has sex with some rando.
Spike watches rarity fuck a couple of ponies but he can't let someone pull up the chair to her and help her sit down like a gentleman (chapter 1)