The light of the day pierced Twilight’s eyelids, waking her from her slumber. She rolled in her bed, trying to think of an excuse not to get up – and an even better one not to have to face her number one assistant. Urgh! Why did Spike have to like Rarity? He will hate me! I don’t even think he’ll forgive me, why bother explaining? But I can’t keep this from him. It’s best that he knows the truth before he finds out by himself and gets hurt even more.
The lilac unicorn stared dully at the walls of her room, feeling very apprehensive. But she knew that stalling was of no use, since she would have to deal with her dragon assistant sooner or later. Best to get it over with… Pulling herself out from under the sheets, she took a look at the purple dragon lying in his basket. Oh, Spike…
Twilight trotted down the stairs, thinking through her plan of action. She decided that she should make breakfast and tell Spike the news afterwards. Her heart lurched as the thought of breakfast brought back memories of the exquisite meal that Rarity had prepared for her the previous day.
The lavender pony went to her cupboards and dug out some cupcakes that Pinkie had dropped off for her when she was at the Boutique. Placing them on the table along with two glasses of juice, she heard muffled sounds coming from her room that indicated her assistant was getting up.
"Good… morning, Twilight,” mumbled Spike groggily, trudging down the steps. “Wow… you prepared breakfast?” he asked, rubbing his eyes and stretching. “What’s the occasion?”
"Good morning, Spike!” the scholarly mare gestured to the chair on the opposite side of the table with a wide grin. “I thought that you could take a day off and everything, since… you’ve been such a great assistant!” she pursed her lips, hoping her expression didn’t look too fake due to the sudden anxiety she was feeling.
Spike hauled himself onto the chair, stuffing down the cupcakes and downing the juice in big gulps. Setting down the glass, he said, “Pinkie Pie’s cupcakes are always great! So, does that mean I get to take a rest today?”
“Yeah, you should take the day off! But before that… um… actually, Spike, I have something I have to… talk to you… about.” Twilight heard her voice becoming smaller and smaller as she said this, involuntarily cringing in unease.
“What is it, Twilight?” the baby dragon recognized the tone of the unicorn’s voice, which usually meant that something majorly bad was about to happen.
“Mmmmf.” The librarian was sure that her throat just had an emergency shut-down. She tried opening her mouth to speak again, but only succeeded in making another strange grunt.
“What?”
“I, um, uh,” Twilight wanted to facehoof. Hard. She made a guttural sound when she made another attempt to speak coherently.
“Twilight? Are you choking?” the baby dragon tottered to the lavender mare’s side and patted her.
The unicorn took a deep breath to steady herself and placed both hooves on the table. “Spike, I need to tell you something.”
“Yeah, I know! You told me that already.” The number one assistant couldn’t help grinning. Twilight was obviously freaking out again… but wait. What if it really was something serious? What could put so much stress on the unicorn? “So, what is it? Are we – are we going back to Canterlot?” That was the only thing serious enough that the dragon could think of.
“No. It’s not that.” Twilight Sparkle, you had better do this before you chicken out! “Spike… I-I’m dating… Rarity.”
The assistant’s jaw dropped in a comical look of disbelief. Then he burst out in laughter. “What?! Come on, be serious! Just tell me already!”
Twilight’s expression remained as somber as before.
“Come on! You’re kidding me, right?” Then he noticed his best friend’s look. Her eyes were sad and pleading – they told the truth. The dragon abruptly stopped laughing. “Twilight?”
The mare brought herself to look the tiny dragon in the eye. “Yes, Spike. I… am dating… Rarity.”
“D-dating…? Like… kissing?”said Spike, very slowly. His brow knotted into a hurt and confused expression when the unicorn nodded in response. “But-but… what? But… huh?” Now it was he that was struck speechless.
His mouth agape, he started stumbling backwards, muttering under his breath. “Twilight… Rarity… impossible… why… why?” He blinked several times in succession as something seemed to click in his head.
Then he turned his back on Twilight and scrambled out the door. “NOOOOO!”
------ ------
Spike kicked at a rock. He had kept himself hidden behind bushes or in the shadows so far while making his way to the Boutique. Twilight had yet to call him back, so far; that was good, because he was running away, never to return. He just had to see the mare he adored so much one last time.
Screened by the foliage near Rarity’s boutique, the baby dragon strove to peer into its windows. It was still quite early in the morning, so the Boutique was probably not yet open for business; this was confirmed when Spike saw that the lights were dimmed and there was no sight of his crush inside.
He grew a bit desperate, knowing that there would never be another chance for him to lay his eyes on the beauty again. He searched for a tree that would allow him view to the upper floors of the home of the elegant unicorn, and found one. Placing his claws on the trunk, he tried to get a purchase on it.
After many increasingly-embarrassing failed attempts, he gave up. He remembered his fantasies of being the heroic knight that would save his lady. Now he just felt useless and inept. He had even nearly become a peeping tom! And he was pining for a pony that was already taken – by the mare he had grown up with.
Feeling betrayed and wronged, he slowly started walking away. Self-exile was the only choice now.
------ ------
One hour. Twilight sighed as she looked at the clock. She had wanted to stop Spike when he had run out the library, but had decided to give the dragon some time alone. She was unsure if anything she could have said at that point would have comforted the assistant, and was even more certain that she would have made it worse.
But an hour was a bit too long… she had tried to get some work done on the life cycle of bees report, but was too distracted. The scrolls in front of her bore a few crossed-out sentences, nothing more.
Clearing her writing stand, the studious mare let herself out of the library... but then stepped back inside again, trotting to the resident owl’s perch. “Owloysius…? I know this is your resting time, but I have a feeling that I’ll need your help finding Spike… please?” she asked.
“Who?” the owl spread his wings in confirmation, then soared past Twilight out of the door.
------ ------
“Spike?... Spike?” called Twilight, walking through the streets of Ponyville. A feeling of déjà vu was creeping on her: a memory of once before searching like this, only for Owlowiscious and her to find the purple assistant being assaulted by a fully grown dragon in the Everfree Forest…
The lilac mare shook her head. She had thought Spike would know better than to run away into the hostile forest again, but it seemed she was wrong. By then the growing worry was starting to make her regret not searching for her trusty helper sooner.
If I don’t find him before long, I might have to ask the girls to help me… wait! I have to let Rarity know about this! Twilight galloped to the Boutique while she silently berated herself for not thinking of it earlier.
“Rarity!” the anxious bookworm used her magic on the front door, and to her relief it swung open. She trotted in and immediately glimpsed the fashionista tidying up in the back of the room.
“Darling! Ah, you surprised me!” the fair unicorn was glad she had removed her glasses before Twilight stepped in. “Whatever is the matter? You seem so stressed!” She closed the distance between the two of them and put a hoof to Twilight’s face.
“Rarity…” the lavender mare felt tears streaming down her face and buried herself in Rarity’s embrace. “I just… told Spike about us, and… he ran away.”
“Wha-?” the fashionista couldn’t comprehend at first the connection between Twilight’s distress and her statement... then it dawned on her that the dragon – “Oh, Twilight, you didn’t have to do it alone!”
“I wanted… to apologize for… hurting his feelings…” choked the distraught mare, grateful for a shoulder to cry on. “But… he’s mad at me now!”
The indigo-maned unicorn nuzzled the mare in her hooves gently, cuddling her and trying to soothe her. “Darling… don’t cry… we’ll find him and talk it over, and then everything will work out…I’m sure of it.”
Twilight nodded weakly. “Thanks… I’m really glad I met you, you know. Ponyville wouldn’t have been the same without you…” She closed her eyes, breathing in deeply the rose blossom and skin musk fragrance of Rarity’s coat. She slowly calmed down with the comforting feeling of the hooves holding her close and the body heat from their chests pressing together.
“Twilight, dear, I’ll do anything I can to help you find him,” assured the designer, helping the librarian to her hooves. “I know he will be… in despair, and we have to be there for him.”
The lilac mare chuckled feebly. “And I was the one who made him feel so bad in the first place…”
Rarity held her and stroked her mane until her sobs slowly ceased, then levitated a hoofkerchief to the lavender mare. Twilight wiped the moisture from her cheeks, smiled tremulously at her love, and together the pair set out together to find their heartbroken friend.
------ ------
Spike treaded wearily over the rocky terrain before him. It was where he and Rarity had encountered the Diamond Dogs... a lifetime ago, or so it felt. If only Rarity were here to show me where the gems are… His tears were blurring his sight and dripping down his face, but he kept stumbling around anyway. All the rubies and gems in the world, none would matter any more – because the most beautiful mare in his life with the three most perfect of diamonds as a cutie mark would not be his.
Finally collapsing into a sitting position in grief, the baby dragon drew a claw along the dust, making the letter R, but then wiped it out angrily. Thinking of the unicorn only made him want to curl up and die. Arrrrgh! Twilight. Kissed. Her! Another bout of sobs escaped the little assistant.
------ ------
The forest was alive. Faint buzzes and hums surrounded two ponies as they cautiously made their way through the undergrowth. Even the plants themselves seemed to be breathing and murmuring words of warning. Mist hung in the air, humid and heavy.
“I’m scared, Twilight…” Rarity huddled close to the lavender mare as another mysterious shriek rang out through the dense foliage of the Everfree Forest.
The Element of Magic nuzzled the fair unicorn’s neck, running her muzzle through the sleek coat. “Don’t worry,” she assured, feeling more confident than she normally would have been, because of their mission and her responsibility. “I’ll never let anything happen to you… or Spike. We’ll find him. And Owloysius is circling around Ponyville as we speak.”
The fashionista pressed her cheek lightly on Twilight’s in response. “I’m sure you’ll keep us safe… Captain Sparkle.”
The scholarly mare lost herself in the stunning eyes of the gorgeous pale unicorn. Scarlet, lilac and emerald undergrowth brushed their flanks as they went deeper into the forest, but neither of them noticed a brilliant azure plant as they passed by…
------ ------
Almost three hours had passed since Spike had run out the library and two since the pair of unicorns had entered the Everfree to search for him; so far they had found no sign of the baby dragon. Twilight glanced worriedly at Rarity, who was walking gingerly – it was an indication of fatigue rather than pettiness – and came to a stop.
“Darling?” asked the fashionista, not sure of the reason for the halt. “Have you found something?”
“No… it’s just, I think we need to take a rest… you’re tired. You don’t need to force yourself.” The lavender mare raised a hoof to brush off some grime and twigs that had caught on Rarity’s coat.
“Twilight, I am quite alright,” protested the fashion designer, but her haggard breathing told the truth.
“Let’s just stop for a while, please?” Twilight felt guilty for dragging the fair unicorn along, and she was starting to doubt her assumption that her assistant had come to the Forest when she did not find him in Ponyville.
They settled themselves on what seemed like a clean patch of grass, and the bookworm put a foreleg over the withers of the stylish mare. “Rarity, I’m sorry… I think I’m wrong, Spike probably didn’t come here at all.” She signed apologetically. “I shouldn’t have asked you to come.”
“You couldn’t possibly have known where Spike was, darling,” replied the alabaster unicorn sternly. “And what kind of marefriend would I be, if I had let you go into the Everfree alone?” she said in her usual sophisticated air.
Twilight rubbed Rarity’s shoulder with the hoof that was wrapped around the fashionista. “Kind of a bad one, I think…” she joked.
The indigo-maned unicorn rested her head on the shoulder of the studious mare. “Twilight…?” she asked, hesitantly bringing up something that had been preying on her mind for some time.
“Yes, Rarity?”
“I was wondering… ah, Spike… liked me, did he not?” It was not really a question, but more of a statement. She felt Twilight squirm a little.
“I’m sorry, Rarity… but I… can’t talk about it.” The librarian knew that her response was a confirmation in itself, making her feel even more ill at ease and causing her to release her hoof from around Rarity’s withers. I am such a bad pony! I never consider other’s feelings until it’s too late. I should have at least told Spike before I started dating Rarity… uh… Her thoughts trailed off to a dead end.
Rarity had been alarmed when the lilac unicorn had abruptly let go of her, and she carefully observed her marefriend’s features – Twilight’s expression was one of complete self-blame. “Twilight, darling… you are not to blame for anything-”
“It’s all my fault! I should have thought more carefully about-about everything!” The lavender mare started thumping herself on the side of her head.
Thump, thump, thump.
“Twilight, please-”
Thump.
“Twilight!” The fashionista jumped to her hooves. “I thought you would know better than to take every single responsibility into your hooves. We are together, are we not? Did you not think that I would be with you every step of the way? If you made a mistake, then I am at fault as well. This is not a problem you have to solve; it is something we are going to work out, together!” She finally paused, taking a measured breath and inclining her head regally. “Well, darling, I think I have rested enough…”
Twilight had been utterly shocked by Rarity’s speech. Then, she smiled sheepishly. “Yeah.”
Good story keep it up. As for your question I personally prefer longer chapter as it gives more for you to sink your teeth into. On the other hand write as much as you feel comfortable with and not burn yourself out. As for HHD I dunno I don't have a romantic bone in my body, I am a romantic jellyfish.
For romance stories that do not involve action/adventure, details are important. So longer chapters tend to be better, as long as repition is avoided. (enough was said about the salad, but a bit more about the massage would not have been a bad thing; say a scentence or two discribing what Twilight does beyond applying pressure to Rarity's back)
For this story, I would think Twilight was reading up on the history of the holiday to find something special she an Rarity could do for the occation, so something that could be considered a long standing tradition activity. Stars and night time are often considered romatic, and Twilight seems to like star gazing. (and had found something by they time she gives it to the CMC, but had continued reading cause it was a book)
Rarity could have her own something special planned, possibly something from one of her romatic fantasies, preferably something they have not done together in the story so far. (Not very specific, but she is harder since she seems to type come have a broader range of things she wants to do)
Whatever they do, it would need to keep Twilight from seeing the mess the CMC's silly antics cause so that she does not try stopping it.
Also I feel this dinner scene was more interesting than the last, keep up the good work.
A) t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS9uXxOeHX2lcTkgw8tjRiUybAHsVblKE3vexGxbOCGgS9uYWAErHiWEPhU
and B) chzbronies.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-party-reasonably1.gif
I want to let you know that I'm back completely onboard with this story. I'm loving this new domesticity between Rarity and Twilight. I do fear that the time is nigh (neigh?) for you to throw in a bit of conflict, whether that be from or from or having their feelings hurt, or feelings changed for one another.
Right now, though, you're doing everything right.
This is very interesting here. The time has come for Spike to go full out insane and blast Twilight. In fact who knows where this could go? In fact I don't know why but I keep seeing Spike run away and never come back for feeling he lost everything.
In fact if the chapter is going to be set on Hearts and Hooves Day, then damn is Spike going to be disappointed big time. I mean can you imagine the rage and anger?
A) longer chapters are nice, but have the flaw that we have to wait longer for them. So i would like that it stays how it is.
B) Rarity is hard like 218073 said but i can imagine giving her a accessory with
1) a plain Rock (to Remember Tom and the whole Discord-thing which was the moment Rarity became aware of her Emotions)
2)an Emerald and an Ruby (to remember the first Time they meet "Emeralds? What was i thinking? Let me get you some Rubies!")
Twilight i can imagine trying with the whole standard Date thing (You know a meal at a fancy restaurant, then a movie[do they have movies? well they have Video-games, that got just confirmed …])
EDIT: to add to 2) the piece holding the Gems could look like Twilights mane at that the time, but i doubt that Rarity would allow such a crime against fashion.
EDIT2: sry i forgot
cdn.polfurs.org/chanfiles/p/src/p_PFchan_130644424463.gif great work Starfall
This is going somewhere correct? Im not seeing a plot developing yet, unless its just going to be her coming out to all her friends and what-not.
Cheers
~iralqobstah
218018
To tell the truth, when I hadn't started writing my own fanfics yet, I often got lazy when I see a big, huge, thick lotta words chapter So when I started writing my own I thought I should make em not so long. But then I read this awesome big fat chapter and I was like 'what? so short?' and then I looked at the word count, and then I got guilty.
218073
Thanks for pointing that out! I'll try to make those improvements and add those details when I get the chance to revise my chapters again.
Yeah, I've considered using stuff from the HHD episode, but wasn't certain how to string things together... reading for a traditional romantic activity sounds just like Twilight! and she'd be busy so she doesn't notice the ruckus that the CMC are causing around Ponyville... thanks for giving me a clearer idea
Hmm, I was worried that writing twice about them eating would be repeating myself, but in the end I decided that cooking for a marefriend is totally different from eating out... it's what I thought 'cute' couples would do (wat's that supposed to mean, I don't really know how to explain) Thanks for your detailed comment and suggestions my brain really isn't the smartest thing
218649
Wow... first pic comment ever!!! and response to B): I sure hope they don't party like CRAZY
218911
Thanks To tell the truth when I look back at my first few chapters... I really, really want to facehoof. Hard. I just hope that I'm improving... and of course Spike's 'basic' reaction was something I planned from the very start, but now I have to fill in all the details and find it pretty complicated to write
219070>>219089
It is a really heartbreaking chapter (for me to write) I want to make Spike's reaction convincing, so! I forced myself to imagine long and hard what it would feel like if the girl that turned me down was now dating my best friend... and then I felt like puking Urgh!
219474
Thanks for the suggestion! I hadn't thought of Rarity giving Twi something to remind them of a time in their past, that's a pretty awesome idea! Video games? I didn't know about that just got confirmed? Wow another pic comment Starfall's great!
219500
Do you think from my previous chapters that I need to add a slice of life tag...? Well, I'm not going to end this with them telling their friends (apart from Pinkie who already knows), that would be waaay too boring
219623
yes they got confirmed in the current Episode.
7th pic from the bottom
PS: that was my first Pic-comment ever, so i hope Starfall is honored
219623
Writing about eating more than once is fine, as long as it is not done really close together and there is variation*. Possibly once for each milestone they reach (or are about to reach) in the development of their relationship (starting out, telling the one that most likely to take the news hard, and so on). Then the meals become a symbolic thing and having them come up more than once serves a purpose. If used that way then there is at least one more meal to tell about: the Pinkie party for when they are ready to tell all their friends (or have told) and are ready to make out.
* some combination different place, food, conversation (if any), and reason for eating together.
219667
Hoo boy, I did read that, but I guess I forgot about it Thanks for posting the link for me
219681
You're really quite the reviewer Love your insights on the plot and everything, it's always great to read your comments And... "...and are ready to make out" - that line kind of killed me
219623
I noticed the lack of colour on your comment board and had to fix it.
219623 I can just imagine Spike blasting and yelling at both Twilight and Rarity. Hell I think he'll even go as far as stealing back his Fire Ruby he gave to Rarity on his birthday. I mean that was a token of love and affection.
Spike just seems to be getting nowhere with Rarity. Been reading this along with the newest "To be a better Stallion." I'm gonna go look for that Spike fic I've held off on reading.
220168
I'm not really a Spikety-fan, I see it as puppy-Love which won't go anywhere.
219991
hmm i think that would be a little bit to extreme. I can see him being pissed off at Twilight, because she knew that he had a crush on her. But angry at Rarity? extremely sad yes, but i can’t see him angry at her.
So far I like how this story is doing, and I do think you're improving. Longer chapters would be nice, but then I like to read for hours on end....Honestly it's whatever suits your schedule best in my book.
The only problem I have with most twi-rarity fics is that they make Spike explode. I can't see Spike doing that to either of them, Twi is like his mom and Rarity is the object of his affections. I think he would go off on a random non harmful tangent like in the Owls Well That Ends Well episode, more off a mild revenge but he is still good natured. Maybe running away or something, just not the whole act of betrayal and violence that I see some do. Honestly I'd think he'd be at least a little relieved that at least he could see her more often, but that could also be more harmful.
Oh well, I'm no writer so take anything I say with a grain of salt.
I am reading Your fic after all.
219705
Pinkie said it first.
Did Rarity ever show up in Hearts and Hooves? I have seen comics with a picture of her that seems (based on the use) to be from the episode but do not remember seeing her. If she did show up it might provide some idea about her day.
219887
Thanks Having pic comments is pretty exciting for some reason I can't pinpoint
219991
Hmm, I do believe Spike is good at heart and would not want to hurt Rarity, despite feeling hurt and everything. I think he would try to act normal after the initial breakdown, keeping the bruise near his heart and nurse and tend it until it heals with time. I believe he's not a crazy psycho-contro-path and mature enough to at least know that hurting others would be no help at all. But feeling betrayal does bring out the worst in somedragon sometimes...
220168
I can't really express my opinion about Spike's crush When watching season 1 episode 1 I didn't really like the show yet, and when they met Rarity the first time I was like oh what the heck rolls eyes and make gagging sounds. But then again, I was like that throughout the very first two episodes I watched until I finally fell in with MLP in during the 3rd
220433
Yep, I think most of us probably had these kind of crushes when we were kids. For my part, I just forgot about them completely in the shortest period of time possible Hell yeah sometimes I was pained, but it's just... natural. Spike is really a kind kid, and he'll gradually pick up the pieces of his heart and put them together again.
221845
Nah, if the suggestions and opinions are good of course I'll put great thought into them You've got a good point there, I can't see Spike going all psycho-emo and smashing demolished hitting stuff berserk either - it would be totally unhealthy. Surely he knows better than that - he's a good kid.
224041
Yep. Crazy Pinkie Okay I was quite unsure whether to keep that line at first, but it stuck - so I kept it there...
I don't remember seeing her either, only Sweetie Belle at the Boutique... and a great view of Twilight as well At least Rarity-dating-someone-else was not made canon
221845
i don't think Spike is gonna be angry at twilight for the relationship with Rarity, but hes gonna feel betrayed.
He told her that he has emotions for Rarity and Twilight started Dating her without even a thought about Spike.
I love this! You have great attention to detail!
I'm excited for Spike's reaction! Update!
250591 thanks! And I'm glad you liked moonlit balcony as well :)
253719 hoo boy, I really apologize for the long delay, but as my proof-reader has been quite busy lately... And I would rather not post it until it has been run through to the best of my abilities I'm as excited to post it as you are but in the meanwhile I've been working on even further chapters so hopefully there won't be many delays like this in the future:)