10: Calm Before a Joke
It was well past noon. Spike’s stomach growled. The strong wind on the rocky terrain stung his eyes and his teary face. He curled himself in a ball, the hard pebbled surface pressing into his scales.
Why? Rarity… I would have done everything… anything for her. Why? A fresh bout of tears escaped the assistant as he huddled on the bleak plain.
Didn’t I do enough for her…? No, I could never do enough … I’m just a kid… why?! I’m so hurt! Twilight’s… so much better than me in so many ways… I’ll never be able to compete with her. The dragon scraped his claws on the ground in frustration, not caring about the grime that gathered on the insides of his scales.
Rarity… please… save me. Only you can save me from this pain… Spike’s thoughts turned to a plea. I’ll do anything! I’ll be good … I just wanted you to like me. You’re the best thing that happened to me! Except for-
It was ironic. The two most important ponies in his world just had to fall for each other. The purple dragon heaved a choked sigh, his face scrunching into an expression of even more sorrow. I could mope every day for the rest of my life… but she’ll never, ever know.
------ ------
“Owloysius!” The lavender unicorn looked at the skies and saw the swooping figure that she had been fervently waiting for.
The owl glided down and landed on Twilight’s shoulder. “Who?”
“Did you find Spike? Is he in the Everfree?” asked the studious mare, half eager, half apprehensive. If even Owloysius couldn't find him…
Her nocturnal assistant lifted a wing to point a direction, his knowledgeable eyes giving assurance to the worried unicorns. He then slightly shook his head side to side to answer the second question. “Who.”
“Lead the way, Owloysius!” Twilight and Rarity broke into a quick trot, following the owl that had spread his wings and taken to the air once more.
“It seems I was really wrong,” remarked the lilac genius. She wanted to apologize again for letting the fashionista come with her only to have wasted their time, but thought the better of it at the memory of her marefriend’s previous lecture. “Eh… at least we got some… exercise?”
Rarity did not miss the scholarly mare’s guilty glance at her dirty mane and coat, and gave her a warm smile. “Yes, indeed… and I do admit perspiring and getting dirty can sometimes be very, ah, rewarding.”
The lavender unicorn grimaced with a playful exaggeration and lifted her head pompously. “I, on the other hoof, feel quite uncomfortable with all this muck on me.”
The alabaster mare narrowed her eyes sternly. “Twilight Sparkle… is that me you’re impersonating?” Her tone then took on a more evil but flirty edge. “I should warn you that if it is me, I will feel extremely insulted and shall have to think of a fitting… punishment.”
“Um, it was actually somepony from the past but let’s not talk about him… hmm – I should have just said it was you and let you punish me, whatever you were thinking of.” The lilac unicorn pouted teasingly. “Would you mind telling me?”
“No. I would rather not ruin the surprise, as I have full reason to believe that I can carry it out at another time.”
“Um…”
Twilight couldn’t help bursting out in laughter. She was immensely grateful for these moments with Rarity, which she could not have had with her other friends. The peace and confidence that the fashionista gave her whenever she was around; it was something she had never experienced before.
Spike was her friend and family, so she was in quite a dilemma – but her bonds with both the dragon and the fashion designer strengthened her, and she knew she would do anything for a bright future with the two of them. Well – that was the best-case scenario…
------ ------
Meanwhile, the number one assistant was so tired and drained from crying that he couldn’t even think anymore. It was as if his mind was a blank, only projecting the grey landscape which his eyes saw. The dust swirled in a breeze as he lay motionless, his eyes long dried from the wind and his tears exhausted.
Faint whispers from gusts of air were the only sounds that he could hear. Why? Why?! That one word kept resonating in the walls of his head.
Gradually his tortured thoughts calmed and, as he felt the silence of the world sinking into him, the baby dragon’s thoughts turned back to the last coherent thought that had formed in his mind.
I could mope forever, but it wouldn’t make a single bit of difference.
Things could have been better. The mare he adored… how? How could it have been better?
It could not have been better, but it could be better, answered a very faint voice in his head.
How? Spike asked, inviting the voice to come out and answer him.
Not by sitting here. Nothing has changed.
The answer had been his mind all along. I have to go back. I have to accept it for now. It’s real. I can’t not.
I still can’t believe it… but nothing will get better if I stay here. They’re probably looking for me anyway. I can’t lose either of them – I’ll think later.
As the dragon slowly got to his feet he spotted Owloysius banking in lazy circles overhead. Which probably means…
“Spike? Spike!” Two unicorns with rather unkempt coats galloped into view and, spotting him, hesitantly made their way to his side.
“Twilight… Rarity…” he managed to murmur weakly.
“Spike, I’m so sorry,” gasped Twilight, making as if to step closer but then checking herself, afraid that the purple dragon did not really want to see her.
“Why are you apologizing? Let’s just go home now, okay?”
The seemingly nonchalant tone almost made Twilight choke. “But-”
“I don’t want to talk right now… but can we just go home? Please?”
Rarity gave Spike an apologetic smile. “Spike, I-” She, too, was cut off by a raised paw.
“Please… Rarity, I really want to listen to everything you say, but - not now. Please.”
And so the trio made their way back to Ponyville in silence. Once back at the library, Spike announced that he was going to take a bath and then after a quick supper go straight to bed. “I’m tired, and I really don’t feel like talking today,” he stated firmly in response to the two concerned glances this plan received. “Maybe tomorrow.”
Celestia’s sun set, Luna’s moon rose and Rarity returned to the Boutique, after promising that she would come by the next day. What the next morning would bring none of them knew, but all three of them hoped, and thought - and waited.
------ ------
“Spike?” The first thing that Twilight Sparkle noticed upon waking up was the empty basket in which her number one assistant usually slept. As she stared, she felt her sight suddenly blur and defocus. What?
She blinked a few times and rubbed her eyes as the room swam around her. Her horn began to throb as she felt a slimy, queasy sensation slither through her stomach. Shaking her head, she managed to focus once again on Spike’s empty basket. Hmm, I guess I should get up if he’s already awake.
Quickly leaping down from her bed and descending the stairs to the main room of the library, she noticed that it had been tidied – books that had previously been strewn around her writing stand had been returned to their respective places on the shelves, and the wooden floor bore a sheen from having been swept and mopped.
There was, however, no sign of Spike. Twilight trotted to the kitchen, still feeling a bit uncomfortable, to see that the dishes had been done and the trash taken out. She frowned, although she was touched that the dragon had finished his chores before she even had gotten out of bed. But where in Equestria is he? I really hope he hasn’t run away again!
Just then the door swung open to reveal Spike, who was carrying several paper bags with various vegetables and fruits poking out of their tops. “Good morning, Twilight! I went grocery shopping!”
“That’s great, Spike! Actually I was wondering where you had gone to, and why did you get up so early?” Twilight asked, her features softening in relief.
“Oh, well, just thought I hadn’t been the best assistant yesterday,” Spike replied in an offhand manner, now unpacking the groceries and storing them away.
“Um, yes, about that-” Twilight braced herself for an argument – surely Spike hadn’t forgiven her so easily? I don’t think he’d accept the situation just like that. Nothing is that easy. “I know you’re … not okay with it.”
“About what?” replied the dragon, with the deliberate air of avoiding a topic. He smoothed the now empty bags and placed them in the recycling bin.
Twilight’s face fell, and she couldn’t find the words to speak. No, of course nothing’s that easy; it’s a lot worse than I thought! A shouting match, she could deal with; but Spike’s unwillingness to talk and her own heartfelt knowledge that thoughts kept inside could easily ferment into something toxic were setting off warning signs that screamed danger!
“About what happened yesterday? What I told you?” prompted the unicorn, her voice almost pleading.
“Oh, that. There’s not really much to say, anyway,” Spike answered, now rummaging around for a gem to snack on. Finding one, he gobbled it down in a single bite and continued, “Really, what good would it do? I-I just want you two to-to be happy.” A choke almost escaped him, but he fought it down.
Twilight pawed a hoof on the ground. It was too much, for Spike to be acting so nice when she felt that it was so wrong. Suddenly her horn throbbed again, her vision swirling around her. She felt nauseous and braced her hoof on the kitchen table, her heartbeat pounding in her ears. “Ooof,” she moaned weakly.
Spike didn’t notice the pain Twilight was in at first, thinking it was because Twilight had just woken up. However, as the unicorn collapsed on a chair, clutching her head, her eyes scrunched up in agony, the dragon realized that there was truly something wrong. “Twilight, are you all right? You look a bit sick.”
“Yeee- my horn, it hurts,” gasped the librarian, stray sparks now running up and down the length of her horn.
“Woah,” exclaimed her assistant, running over to Twilight, but there was nothing he could do except watch as the glow surrounding her horn grew horrifyingly intense, crackling and discharging magenta beams, toppling a row of bottles on the kitchen cabinet. It wouldn’t be long before the room was wrecked if Twilight couldn’t bring her power under control soon.
“Spike, run!” yelled Twilight, despite the pain engulfing her. She gritted her teeth, letting out a snarl as another torrent of energy escaped her and almost hit Spike. “Run! I-I’ll get this under control! Don’t worry!”
“But,” said the dragon, using his claws to shield his face. I can’t just leave her here, like this! Another beam whizzed toward him, leaving him no choice but to flee the room. “I’ll go get the others!” he shouted, dashing towards the door of the library.
Bam! The dragon’s vision went black as he collided forcibly with the door. No - it was the door colliding with him. “Wha-?” he groaned, raising a paw to his forehead.
“Spike?” a melodic voice queried. The dragon felt a hoof on his shoulder. He squinted, his vision not yet recovered, and saw a pale mare standing in front of him. The mare did not have a mane; a crown of indigo feathers extended from her horn to her back.
This must be an illusion… Spike pressed his hands to his eyelids, feeling relieved that he could see properly again when he removed them. Then he looked up to see the mare again, and discovered that it hadn't been an illusion. It was Rarity, and she was covered from head to hoof with feathers!
“Oh, Spike! I’m terribly sorry for striking you like that, I didn’t know you were behind the door,” Rarity gabbled. “But as you can see, a great crisis has befallen my coiffure! Has Twilight awoken… normal?”
Another bang from the kitchen answered her question. Rarity dashed to the door, some feathers drifting away from her ‘mane’, Spike close behind her. As they peered nervously around the door jamb, they beheld the room beyond awash in a flurry of crackling magical energy, singed objects flying across the space; it was a mess. A single lilac unicorn stood rigidly beside a knocked-over chair, her brow knitted in concentration in a futile attempt to control the beams erupting from her horn.
“Twilight!” Rarity put a hoof forward as if to rush into the room, but was pulled back by a claw.
“Don’t go in yet! It might get worse, you haven’t seen her when she loses it like this – it hasn’t happened since she was a filly,” he warned, his expression serious.
“Then whatever shall we do?” asked the fashionista, standing at the brink of the room, looking on worriedly as another beam struck the table and charred a hole in it.
“I was going to get the five of you, but since you’re a unicorn you’re probably the only one that could actually do anything if Twi’s magic gets out of control.”
“Out of control? Is this not out of control?” said Rarity, biting her lip.
“No. If it were, nopony but the princess could stand a chance.” He glanced into the kitchen again and was relieved to see the magical storm had slightly receded - the sparks were noticeably weaker and dimmer, gradually dying down as Twilight finally managed to gather the energy back within her.
“Twilight!” shouted the dragon and Rarity as the bookworm slowly opened her eyes.
“What just happened?” the unicorn moaned as she saw her marefriend and assistant outside the kitchen. Her eyes snapped wide open as she saw that Rarity’s coat resembled – a chicken?
The pieces clicked together within her mind. My magical outburst. Rarity’s coat… oh no! We must have stepped into some poison joke yesterday!
“Don’t come in yet!” she called to the two. “I know why this is happening! It’s poison joke!”
“Poison joke?” Spike’s jaw gaped. “But doesn’t that stuff grow in the Everfree Forest? Since when have you gone there?”
“Well, ah, Spike, we passed through the Everfree yesterday, in fact,” Rarity said, brushing off a loose feather. The things were so annoying, making her look like a molting bird.
“Oh, that explains it… but now that we know, we should get to Zecora’s immediately!” exclaimed the dragon.
“I’m not sure Spike, I think you and Rarity should go first. I don’t know whether my magic will explode again; it would be safer if I don’t walk through Ponyville just yet.”
“But darling-” protested the fashion designer, not wanting to leave Twilight behind.
“Wait!” interrupted Twilight, eyes gleaming. “Didn’t the spa twins ask Zecora for the ingredients to mix up our bath the last time? If they still have some left…”
“Okay, I’ll go there and ask them, pronto!” shouted Spike, already running to the door as fast as his short legs could take him. “Rarity, I think you should stay here in case something bad happens again!”
The dragon exited the tree house and started towards the direction of the spa. Oh, just look at me. I was so mad at them yesterday and now I’m helping them. It was the mature thing to do, after all. He promised himself he'd work on sorting out his own feelings and being a supportive friend and assistant from now on.
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Hmm why do I think Spike is going to have Rarity and Twilight kidnapped and torture them for this betrayal?
That did not go well.
Hopefully they find him before something eats him.
262661 Life really sucks...
262706 Not to mention they're totally in the wrong place
262840 So now what? Spike goes commit suicide or something? I mean Christ I think that's what he's going to do. IF you've done everything to woo the one you love and lose her to some other pony that was your closest friend, I think I'd kill myself.
262840
Then again, hopefully they find him before something eats them.
Epic truth time!
That was a perfect Spike reaction. Well done!
He'll get over it. He can't stay mad at them for long.
Keep it coming!
Well fuck, dawg.
SPIKE IS GOING TO COMMIT A MURDER SUICIDE!
262862 LOLOL If he were that psycho - there would be a dark tag
There's going to be some Spike monologue, don't know if it's gonna be boring
YES you found it! Sneaky fun stuff!
262864 Captain Sparkle made a promise
262911 Thanks
263453 Suicide bomber mission
263496
264914 Again, if you did EVERYTHING for you love and she go and not tell that she wasn't into you and that your closest friend is dating her, I think either A: Go make them suffer for the rest of their lives or B: Kill thyself. I'm thinking Spike is going to go with the latter since it does seem he lost everything and that he can't face another pony ever again.
sooooo is Spike going to find out that rage can also make a dragon grow in size? I think Spike should get big and have a snarky, nasty monologue
263496 thank Luna its not killing joke or all sorts of FUN would happen
Kinda helps to let other ponies know your walking into the Everfree Forest. That place is all kinds of freaky. Self growing plants. brrrrr
265134 Isn't there a third option that says happily ever after...? I mean like, love, then let go?
Hmm, Spike's not experienced in these kind of relationships at all, but still 
No, wait - pretend you didn't see that 
They never take caution 
265166 Get big.
265407 Perhaps poison joke--> Horny-itis? Bad, bad.
265697 Yeah, like if it weren't for the CMC, Twi would still have been a statue
266053 Sorry, but I don't see how Spike can get over this. Unless like one of the CMC (preferably Sweetie Belle) realizes what's happened to him and tries to find him, then I don't see how he can overcome this harshness. I mean that is a HUGE bomb to be dropped on, and Rarity even teased Spike with seeming to look like she liked him back in the earlier chapters. I just see Spike going all out merciless on Rarity and Twilight by making them drink an Anti-Love Potion that makes Rarity and Twilight NOT love each other and breakup. I know I'm so evil, but what's so bad about being bad?
266412 Hey I actually think the anti-love potion's really cool! And Sweetie Belle... ur actually not the first one to suggest Spike / Sweetie!
No, you didn't suggest that, just suggested she find him? Yeah, you're right, nothing's perfect, it's just I couldn't see Spike turning all yami and murderous 
But you've got a point there!
266431 Actually I kind of WAS implying Spike X Sweetie Belle. I just don't see how Spike X Applebloom (For some reason that's more popular) can work. If the potion does work for good, then you may want to add a Tragedy and Sad to the description as well since Rarity and Twilight's love for each other dies out. If somehow the potion's effects wear off then I don't know what to do with Spike, he'd probably go into exile and never return again to Ponyville.
266449 Well, there's one reason I wrote this as my very first fanfic. I
Rari-Twi, they just seem so 
together. So unfortunately this is going to have a very happy ending (for 
&
), but yes, every single relationship is far from perfect. And yes, you don't always get everything you want in life. So sure, there will be ups and downs, however, the point is going through it together 
Seen the end of the Scott Pilgrim comic? It was so true I almost cried 
266459 I just wonder how Spike will overcome this. I mean this was all a bomb just dropped on him, and Rarity didn't even tell Spike she wasn't interested in him. I like RariTwi as well, but my only real issue with the pairing is that I've seen FAR too many fics where Twilight or Rarity don't think about Spike's feelings and just trick him into thinking he still has a shot at Rarity. It kind of makes Twilight and Rarity look a little heartless to Spike for making him think he still can win Rarity's heart. Granted there are a few fics where Spike already found another pony to love, but for the most part most of the RariTwi fics have Rarity and Twilight acting a little heartless for tricking Spike and not saying anything to him. I'll give Twilight credit for her having the nerve to drop the bomb on Spike though.
266481 They'll communicate about it, I wouldn't overlook such an important link of a Rari-Twi story - that would probably be like suicide!
I don't think Rarity really had an obligation to inform Spike - he didn't really tell her about his feelings (but then, it was Rarity that stopped him)
I'd really like to hear your opinion on what Rarity was thinking when she stopped Spike from telling her in Secret of My Excess, though!
266520 I personally think Rarity knew about Spike's feelings and that she acknowledged that she too liked him as well. Even if Rarity had no obligation, she still should've found a way to break it too him gently before this got out of control.
Honestly I don't want this to end in tragedy in which Spike goes in a killing rampage or ends killing himself. However I do expect him to go apeshit on Twilight and Rarity if he sees them, so those two looking for Spike by themselves is not a good idea, it just will make Spike more angry, more depressed and make things worse; yeah sucks to be Spike right now
. I suggest a SpikexApplejack to make a happy ending for this: Instead of Spike being found by Twilight and Rarity, he is found by the rest of the mane 6, they confort him and convince him to return to Ponyville, but since he is still depressed and resentful he refuses to get anywhere near the library or the boutique, so he ends up in Sweet Apple Acres instead 
Anyway, good story man!
I waiting for the next chapter!!!
266948 She too liked him as well...? Then why did she stop him
But then that's just my own opinion, since I really don't think Spike's what Rarity wants in a relationship. She might have stopped him because she wanted them to be just friends before Spike tries to tell her again, so there won't be that awkwardness in between. I personally think she should have let him tell her then say 'oh sorry but I like somepony else' or whatnot, but then everything's enexpected, and if she were to tell Spike suddenly: I really like Twilight and I'm going to tell her, so I'm sorry I'm not interested in you, that would totally be weird 
So either way I think she didn't have a good enough opportunity to break it to him beforehoof.
267080 Side shipping encouragement?
That's going to make this a real long story for sure 
Spike's going to grow up a bit from this experience of course, and yeah there should be some way to fill his heart back or something.
268584 I just think there should be at least some sort of high price Twilight and Rarity should pay really. Like Spike goes back to Ponyville, but never goes back to the Library or Carousel Boutique ever again. He'd probably find some other pony like Fluttershy or Applejack to like and stay with them, but the scars he got psychologically makes him unable to ever truly look at Twilight or Rarity ever again, and decides to cut off all means of communication with them. He would eventually fall in love with either Applejack or Fluttershy, but never goes back to see Twilight or Rarity again.
268640 Great! I mean you totally gave me an idea! Thanks
Now off to write.
269974 Oh um.....thanks. Didn't know I gave you an idea.
Hmm I want more.. Track Dave like
Hmm I want more.. Track Dave like>>273631.
Damn auto correct *fave
270381 Comment/ discussion really mean a lot to me, you all think of lots of stuff I hadn't b4
273634 Eyuup, that happens to me as well @mobile.fimfiction.net
Glad you like it 
273892 Well I am a fan fic writer here and on DeviantART.