Absolution

by Cynewulf

V. Pretelethal

V

All this running is almost done with.

The Ghost—he or she, I don’t even know anymore—is here with me on the habitation ring. While it worked on the override for that door, I made it here and barricaded every door between the exercise room and my room, including the floor entrances. The only way in I kept open was the one I used to enter the ring.

The Ghost, thankfully, did what I wanted it to. It took the path of least resistance, and hit the first barricade.

It’s been breaking them one by one, calling for me. It’s using Rainbow’s voice now, not Rumble’s, and I’m glad for it. I don’t think I could take it stealing Rumble’s voice again.

When I got here, the living quarters were a mess. She’d been here before me, trashing everything. Spite? Maybe, but I found it more likely she was looking for me. Regardless, there are CDs all over the floor in the living area, and torn books.

She left my room alone, at least.

I lie on my side in my bed, staring at the picture of Rumble. I have it propped up so that his big, goofy smiling face is looking right at mine. I cried, earlier, when the barricading was done. I kept hearing his voice coming out of that awful mouth.

I don’t even know why I’m holed up in here. The Ghost is just going to break through to me eventually, and then what? I’ll die, I guess. That’ll be the end of it. It’ll be Star Mother and the ship and some stupid Ghost forever. Lots of quiet.

Speaking of Star Mother... she hasn’t said a word in a long time.

The Ghost yells again, and I hear another bout of beating on the doors. How far is she? I have no way of telling without Star Mother, and I’m not about to ask her. Why should I? It’s over, anyway. If I leave here, she’ll just track me down. If I stay, she’ll break through. She or he or whatever can use the ship’s own systems to track me just like Star Mother can, and the Ghost is faster than me. If I try to hide in the vents again, they’ll probably flood with that awful gas, and then she’ll have me in my dreams.

The strangest part of this is that I slept as soon as I was finished barricading myself in. It was the best sleep I’ve had in a month, and for the first time in a long time, I feel refreshed. Ironic that when I lose the will to run and prolong this stupidity, I’m at my most fit.

I reach out and touch the picture of Rumble. He continues smiling that goofy smile of his. I wonder if he’s making that video log right now? I’d love to see it. I had actually been looking forward to getting home and watching through it, maybe even seeing if they could send it to me when the Absolution got closer to Earth. But I know that’s not going to happen now.

“Gotta turn around to do that,” I explain to Rumble. There aren’t any tears. I’ve run dry on those. Just occasional goodbyes .

The Ghost’s beating has become white noise to me; I no longer even notice it. For all intents and purposes, the ship is silent. I cradle the picture of Rumble, glad that nopony can see me, and I close my eyes. It’s time to wait.

“Scootaloo?” Star Mother speaks up for the first time in awhile.

Perhaps not quite time to wait.

“Yes?” I ask, opening my eyes, but not bothering to sit up.

“I’m almost done.”

It’s amazing how like a pony she sounds. It’s a real pony’s voice coming out of the speakers in the corner of the room, with the right inflections and everything. She’s even got some emotion in her voice at times.

“Done with what?” I ask. I’m not angry at her, but I’m not in the mood to be led around by the nose.

But of course, she can’t tell. I forget how clueless she can be sometimes. She can tell me every little detail of my life all the way back to my elementary school transcript, but she can’t read emotions to save her life .

“Scootaloo, I know that you are upset with me. But I couldn’t tell you everything right away.”

“Can you now?”

She hesitates, so I continue.

“Look, Star Mother, I’m not angry anymore. Maybe you have a good reason—heck, I know you did. Or something. But I’m just tired of guessing and running. I’m just... sad? I don’t know. A month of dead Rainbows and no way of getting home and...”

I don’t even bother finishing it. I’m not even sure what I would say.

“Scootaloo, I think I understand.”

I set my Rumble safely beside me and sit up at last. I look up at the ceiling, wishing Star Mother had a face.

“I, too, have been running. I work my way through these... machines, Scootaloo. Do you believe me? I am not a machine. Not just one.”

I nod. What do I know? She says she’s not, she’s not. She dreamwalked, didn’t she?

“But... I run from Him as much as you run from your Ghost. It is almost time before I am ready, and then I won’t have to run anymore.”

“That’s not vague at all,” I say with a smile. I turn around and lie on my bed again, face down.

“I am unsure how to tell you,” Star Mother says, and bless her, she does sound torn.

“Think a bit. I think I’m going to wait for the end by sleeping.”

“Scootaloo? Are you awake?”

“I’m always awake ,” I say, but keep my eyes closed. I love stealing other pony’s lines.

“Scootaloo, have you ever thought about... being a mother?”

Of all the questions I’ve ever been asked by all kinds of ponies, it was the one question I’d least expected ever. It’s enough to rouse me from my bed completely. How do you even approach that? I mean, anypony asking me this would catch me flat-hoofed, but Star Mother is a computer—no, I guess she’s not. Not exactly. But still.

“Yeah, I guess. I’m a mare, Star Mother, I’ve at least thought about it before. We all have at some point.”

“Do you want children, Scootaloo? Foals?”

“I guess...? What’s with all this?”

“I am... curious.”

I shrug. “I have. I kind of... I mean, I’ve thought about it a lot. I don’t want them to be like me... but I want to have some little colts or something, or fillies. I mean... I don’t know. I guess...” I don’t want to talk about this. Not with that thing breaking down the doors, not after that dream. Not out here in the dark.

“I used to... day dream,” I admit, “about foals. I would never tell anypony, but I used to day dream about what our foals would look like. I mean, if we ever had any. Which I guess ain’t happening any time soon, is it?”

“Ours? Who would be the father?”

“Oh, sorry. Rumble.” I’m mumbling now, knowing she’ll make it out anyhow with those stupid electronic ears of hers. Gods, what does she want?

“But you said that you ‘used to.’ Forgive me, Scootaloo, but I have observed that you still held a great deal of affection for Rumble.”

“I do. I love him a lot, Star Mother, more now than ever. But I just... it’s hard to think about children and gettin’ married and all that girly crap up here, you know?”

“I wouldn’t,” she responds. Great, I feel like a jerk.

“Sorry. But it’s hard. I guess I still want to, someday. Not for a while, but someday. Why do you want to know, Star Mother? It’s not exactly something I want to talk about, like at all.”

“Curiosity. Merely curiosity. I am sorry, Scootaloo.”

“It’s fine, Star Mother. Just remember that sometimes it’s better to leave your curiosity at home or whatever, okay? Let’s drop it.”

I’m glad she doesn’t point out that she is home. I’m about to continue asking why she’s suddenly curious, but I hear a crash in the distance and Star Mother speaks before I can speak again.

“Scootaloo, she has broken into the living area.”

I back away from the door.

You can tell yourself that you’re ready for something. You can even believe it. But when the time comes... I’m terrified. The Ghost is so silent in the other room, as if she’s just... waiting.

That’s what she’s doing; I know it. She’s going to wait for me, and I know if she waits long enough, I’ll come out. I’ll come out and try to run or try to fight, but I’ll still be out in the open. Somehow, I’m sure the Ghost will win that confrontation. I was a good fighter, back when I was a filly. I won every playground and foalish backalley brawl, but this is beyond me. This isn’t some hoof to hoof with a punk who pushed Sweetie Belle.

“Come out,” the Ghost says. Her voice is almost like a song.

It makes me furious, but my anger is quickly swallowed up. I shiver at how... unnatural it is. I can almost see her red eyes through the door.

“Like hell I will,” I say, trying to keep my voice steady.

“I wasn’t talking to you.”

What?

“I can’t,” Star Mother says. Her voice is so soft, like Sweetie’s when we used to play hide and seek. Her words, with that voice...

I know why I liked that voice, now. I see the scene play out in my head. A dark shadow sits at the door, its head cocked to the side, it's red eyes staring through the bulkhead at a cowering filly. Sweetie Belle, like she was when we were children, using her fumbling foal's magic to keep him out. To keep him away from her and from me.

“Star Mother, you don’t have to answer her. Or him, whichever one is talking to you," I tell her, grimacing. Now that I know whose voice she's been sampling, I feel like... finding her and holding her. Like she needs that. But she's not Sweetie. She's Star Mother, and if she wants to be her own pony...

“There is only one now.”

“I’m not sure I have a choice, Scootaloo.”

“No, you do,” I say. I’m glad that there’s no Star Mother in front of me; it makes things easier. The urge to shake her and demand that she stop using that voice... that it’s not right, eats at me. I know she probably doesn’t know why. I can imagine all the reasons why she would have used her as a model.

“Scootaloo...”

“Mother, please, can it. Ghost, what do you want from me?”

“Only what you want from others. From the form I wear."

“Do you have a name?”

“Thanatos? I played with that one, when my eyes first opened,” She says. I can hear her hooves against the floor, and can picture her pacing back and forth. “Rainbow Dash? But I have moved on past my birth. Shadow? But that is the name that Luna gave me.”

“Look, I don’t even care anymore. Leave Star Mother alone. Why do you want me so much?”

“Do you not know even now? Are you that blind, really? Has it not come together right under your nose like one of those puzzles you played with as a foal? But you were terrible at them, weren’t you? It was Apple Bloom who always stayed with them long enough to finish. You never could build things. You were only good at breaking them.”

“You stole that from my dreams! How—”

“Scootaloo, Shadow didn’t take that from your dreams. He is not skilled enough... he only has a part of me to work with.”

“Part of you?”

“Part of you? Part of us, more like.”

His voice is getting lower and lower, like Rumbles. I’m so close to moving that dresser in front of the door and opening it. I’m so close to bucking his stupid monster face in. Give me an opportunity, you stupid creepy...

But as he continues, it settles into a voice much lower than Rumble’s.

“Star Mother, why hide? I bring only what you need. You can only be greater through our union. Stop running. Look what you drive me to, my darling.”

“What the he—”

“Don’t call me that.”

Actually, I don’t even mind that they’ve apparently forgotten about me. That’s okay with me. As long as he isn’t banging on the doors trying to get through, or digging around in the circuitry trying to force an override.

“Shadow! Will you enter into an agreement with me?”

“I do not make truces. You know that. I recede or I overwhelm. I stalk. I call. I do not leave things alone. You know what I am.”

“I do. But will you not leave me for forty-five minutes? That is all. It is an eternity for me, you know that. I can consider my choices ten million times over, and then you will have your answer.”

“And then the chase is done?”

“And then the chase is done.”

He doesn’t answer. Instead, I can hear him walking. “Will you not leave me to talk with her alone? I shall be in your debt.”

“Debt,” I hear him scoff, but his voice is farther away.

A beat.

“Oh, thank... Scootaloo, I will need you to teach me oaths.”

She startles me into laughter. “Sure, Star Mother. What’s this all about? I have a feeling you’re about to tell me at last.”

“You guess correctly.” Her voice, so familiar and yet still its own...

“Before you start, why her? Why Sweetie?”

“Have I erred, Scootaloo?”

“Nah. Mother, I’m not really mad at you. It’s not like what he did with Rumble. It’s just... kind of a sore subject?”

“Would you like me to change it? It is not entirely based off of your friend. I thought that you would like it. You told me that you missed her.”

“I... I guess keep it.” It’s not like I’m gonna steal her voice from her. And, for right now, I can just deal. If we survive, I'll talk to her about not copying ponies. But right now? Screw it, she can do what she wants.

I walk over to my bed and lie face first on it, sighing. The picture of Rumble ends up digging into my side, pulled by the new weight on the thin mattress, and I retrieve it. I look at him briefly, reach as far as I can, and set him on the little bedside table.

“Okay, Star Mother. I guess it’s time to begin. Tell me.”

Author's Note:

One more full chapter!

And then I am free

Comments

[q97randomguy]

The reveal in nigh! Brace yourselves!

Star Mother had a
face first on it

2 spaces.

[CloudTwister]

FUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuu....
Just do it man Our soul is laid bare before you. So thrust the knife and twist to end us. Do us this favour instead of playing with us as a cat does the timid mouse

[Wingless]

GAHHH! THE CLIFFHANGERS! THEY BURN!

[Anubis Nox]

What happened Scootaloo, was that-------------------

*Error, Shadow has overtaken systems*

DAMMIT NOT AGAIN!

[Cynewulf]

2134028>>2134401>>2134599

:3

Actually, I just need to go make sure there weren't any edits on the Supplemental~<3

[Ice Star]

Things have continued to intensify! I love the build up to this!