I am a dude who has been hit in the balls.

It's actually equivalent to every bone in your body breaking. Twice.

Meanwhile, giving birth only equivalent to breaking 2 bones.

I LIKE IT!!!!!!!!! and I am a dude, and I laugh at groin hits.

high heels man, the kind with the point at the tip of the toes.

so much pain

As well as I.

This is a piece of fucking art

>posts chapter that involves dick shenanigans
>7/8 comments are about the author's note
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4908-Muffins_40b417f852c83bcea6829d55207f20ed.jpg
I'll take what I can get. But seriously, getting hit in the nuts HURTS.

dude, normally i'd avoid stories like this (just cause i'm weird that way), but i'm truels interested to see where this goes.

I'm a JROTC cadet. I went to JCLC (week long mini-bootcamp). A combat boot stomped me in the dick. I marched funny the rest of the time I was there.

1895733 I was already getting some serious yuks from the lines in this story that would be even funnier out of context.
But now:

dick shenanigans

My New Year's resolution is to use that phrase.

Well... crotch hit for men is like.... shit I can't even explain it... it's just not funny, okay ladies´? And I really don't have problems with pain. A broken arm while in a soccer match? ha no problem at all, but a groin hit and I can't even watch tv in peace.

It was like someone had taken a sledgehammer forged from the essence of solid PAIN

Oh man, I gotta find an excuse to use that sometime!

Luckily for me, I don't recall any time that I've ever been hit in the junk, and I'm hoping I never will.

It's not the hit to the dick that gets you, It's to the balls.

Once I fell while windsurfing, and the metal sail pole just happened to shoot upwards…and hit me square on the testicles. After squirming in agony for several minutesI had to paddle back to the shore because it hurt too much to kick.

1897084Damn man. Ouuuuch.
So your face was pretty much this?

1898495 That's what my friend told me. Along with some of this

The reason why watching people get hit in the balls is so funny is because I know how much it hurts, and am glad it isn't me.

1900884 Oh, shit.

Bit of advice to all interested in avoiding a ball shot go with the blow
Trust me my friends and i had a bet that they could hit me in the nuts 10 times in five days thats how i developed this move they never made it past 3 hits and i walked away with 150$ from the group thats at a rate of 5$ a person this was not a small contest and i did this six times my kung foo is strong they never scored another hit and trust me they tried but the hit didnt count unless i hit the dirt but this method is not easy to learn and you need to know how to shift you weight around its not easy but it works 100% of the time every time and will make people think you are much stronger than you are but o sweet merciful celestia the pain of those first two hits i prayed for the sweet merciful release of death at both times and at both times death just laught at me while pointing

While I am not a fan of Chicks with Dicks. I like this story. But you have some problems with the Texain accent.
It be don' insted of don't and take out the g in ing words. It is hard to write trust me. But none the less I laughed a few times and I crighed at how hard she was hit down there. Ouch.

There will never ever be too much futa fan-fics. Thanks for the addition to the collection!

1903431 You'd have to offer me a hell of a lot more than that to put my nuts on the line.
1906150 I'm not really going for Texan. Just sort of a generic "south". Basically if it sounds Applejack-y I just roll with it. (yeah, i'm not thinking too hard)
1906517 You're welcome. More is on the way.

1906548
Fun Fact:
Male groin impact pain is a very very big pain. HOWEVER, the pain a girl feels when the womb (the bit that's completely inside the vagina at the end of the "love" canal) is about fifteen times worse.

1906683 Given that pain isn't actually quantifiable, how exactly do we know this? Also, I don't think that it's very easy to accidentally hit a girl in the cervix.

1906739
From a biology/anatomy lecture during my college years. Plus it happened to me in person. Unfortunately for me the girl was what one would call a "pain = rage" type person, so for only being literally five foot nothing she was able to kick me off the couch and give me a black eye. It was not a pleasant thing.
Thankfully none of you know who I am.

Well, I read the first two chapters. I like it.

Do have a question though. Is the whole pissing problem going to be entirely for joke moments? If so, I'm okay with that.
But yeah... My point is, golden showers aren't really my thing, so I hope you won't give that end much focus.

who ever said my nuts where on the line there was a chick at my school who just felt the need to hit every guy she passed in the junk that was the first two hits because i didn't know about her but that's how i developed the dodge and the contest was stacked in my favor i was never in any danger im basically part goat and hid my nuts behind my leg when they where near and they where none the wiser
secondly pain is quantifiable
A human body can take of to 45 DEL (Unit of Pain) before it starts to become unbearable. The pain a woman feels giving birth is around 57 DEL of pain, the equivalent feeling of fracturing 20 bones at once. A hard kick to the nuts measures over 9000 DEL's, the equivalent pain of giving birth to 160 babies and breaking 3,200 bones at once. Girls, when you're giving birth, remember that being kicked in the nuts is over 157 times as painful. Scientific Fact.

1906793 Nah, I'm not really into that either. I just thought it would be funny if AJ had trouble working out the plumbing. I mean, if you've never had a dick before you wouldn't quite know how it works.

1906834 ...you said your nuts were on the line:

Trust me my friends and i had a bet that they could hit me in the nuts 10 times in five days

Also, yeah, it is really painful.

I really need to get the next chapter done so we have something else to talk about besides getting hit in the balls.

Yes as i am running out of things to say though i may just fade into obscurity like i always do

1895733 i've taken three successive ball kicks before. It was not fun.

You right bro they are awful feels good but it's awful

And yet woman still think its not that big a deal to get hit there. They just dont know. They just dont know...

1895411 I am a dude who's been hit in the balls with a football, a baseball bat, a lacrosse stick, and about ten or twenty paintballs with about 150-300 000 psi behind them. The only two sports that've not landed me on the ground are actually golf and bowling. Ironically, those are the two sports I derive the greatest satisfaction from while playing.

.... And I'm not kidding. We had this battle of the sexes Dodgeball game once, but since there was two more dudes than chicks, I got to be on the girl's team. And the guys were bloody merciless. Let's just say that if my balls aren't made of steel by now, I've been playing a fiddle with a broken string since I was only a wee lad. Yeah. I am pretty sure my cannon's locked and loaded, but still. You do get used to the pain after a while.

l do understand the pain. I've been hit in the crotch twice by a girl and a man who haven't experienced the pain.
Then again I laughed at this:

Does this make me a bad person?

God why are our nuts so sensitive.

1916833
For this simple reason: We dont do much when it comes to raising children, so wemen can recreate the pain of childbirth to motivate us. Its an instinct lol

I question whether childbirth is more painful than a nutshot.
When women give birth, they scream. Very f'n loudly. Then pass out afterwards from exhaustion.
When men get hit in the balls they grunt, groan, and - most of the time - fall to the ground. That's it.
So either women are complete f'n pussies. Or men are just used to it. I dunno.

I dived off a (approximately) 15 ft. high houseboat and landed in the water at just the right angle to take a substantial hit to my balls.
Fuck, was it hard to stay afloat.

getting hit in the balls is the worst pain imaginable! one time my brother threw a football at me and hes 26! twice as old as me! the foot ball hit me in the balls and i blacked out for 3 hours! even i found that hard to believe!

2010406

Bro golf ball to the balls with shorts on. hurts like hell but at least you blacked out.

Yeaaaahh. . . It's bloody painful.

Which is why I take sweet satisfaction whenever I deal one out for justice.

And now. . . an ode to the nutshot.

My kiwis have already taken a severe kick....
Here's the lyrics to a song that describes how I feel about it.
I do not own the lyrics to said song.
One

One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
Two can be as bad as one
It's the loneliest number since the number one

No is the saddest experience you'll ever know
Yes, it's the saddest experience you'll ever know
`Cause one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
One is the loneliest number, worse than two

It's just no good anymore since she went away
Now I spend my time just making rhymes of yesterday

One is the loneliest, number one is the loneliest
Number one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
One is the loneliest, one is the loneliest
One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
It's just no good anymore since she went away
(Number) One is the loneliest
(Number) One is the loneliest
(Number) One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
(Number) One is the loneliest
(Number) One is the loneliest
(Number) One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do

worst groin shot that ever happened to me was when i was fighting my brother and he was so pissed off he grabbed them and squeezed, I thought I was going to die. to any one who has had that done can agree that is the worst

Straight up kicked in the nuts by my brother because he's an ass. More pain in the five minutes after that than in the entire of the rest of my life.

i once got kicked in the balls by a chick wearing pointed high-heels
I promptly fell on the ground and threw up

1906834 so a kick in the balls is... OVER 9000!
All joking aside though, getting hit in the junk really fucking hurts.

1906834 Scientifically, DELs don't exist, and are inaccurate. However DOLs exist, and are used to rate pain on a scale of one to ten. Also even though DELs don't exist, there have been some studies have shown that testicular pain is worse than child birth pain, whether this is accurate I don't know, but there are actually legitimate studies showing that pain effects different genders and races differently, and have definitively proven that generally women have a lower tolerance and threshold of pain than men.

"seriously you aren't allowed to laugh at dudes getting hit in the balls unless you are a dude who's been hit in the balls. If not, YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE PAIN"
It isn't any less painful for the other set of genitals (or so I've been told)

I'm a guy who can laugh at this ... I used to play baseball in high school ... But then I took a 60 MPH ball straight to the boys after forgetting my cup that day ... Pretty sure I won't be able to have kids

My Worst Nut Shot Was When Me And My Classmate Were Messing Around And I Made Him A Biiiiiiiiiiit Angry And I Think You know The Rest.(He Was Also Wearing Academic Shoes)

N64 controller, my younger cousin intended for me to catch it. His aim was off and one of the prongs caught my right one against my thigh... Hunched over and wheezed for 2 minutes and walked tenderly that day. Why are they designed to just Hang there when not in use, we have a ribcage to protect the important organs, why can't man have developed a ball-cage?