Twilight Sparkle stood alone in her private study ( or her room as most called it ) staring off into space. It had been only ten minutes since she had sent an emergency letter to the princess and already she was feeling emotionally drained.
Please, I need your help princess. Come as soon as you can
Normally Twilight would feel horrified with herself for not even bothering to sign the letter, but to her that didn't matter. Nothing mattered to the mare that was deemed the Element of Magic. Just thinking that she was an element of anything that related to harmony sickened her now. The world hardly mattered, even the flurry of hoof steps that were obviously belonging to royal guards just outside her balcony. Even the princess did not matter, sure, she knew that the princess had just entered her room through the balcony, but she did not feel like looking up.
"Twilight! I came as soon as I...could?"
"..."
"Are you hurt?! You said it was an emergency!"
"..."
Celestia looked back at her guards who simply shrugged. "Twilight? TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"
This time the unicorn jumped and looked around. "S-sorry princess I-"
"Are you hurt?" She asked in concern.
"No."
"Is something wrong with Ponyville or your friends?!"
"No."
"...Twilight Sparkle, I demand as your princess that you tell me what is-"
"Celestia?"
"Y-yes Twilight?" She had rarely known her student to ever call her by her first name in private.
"Are we so closed minded as a species that we have to see an enemy race as nothing but an enemy?"
"I don't, um, what?"
"I attacked a changeling today." Every statement that Twilight spoke with seemed cold, and she showed no emotion.
"D-did it attack you first?"
"No."
"Was it working with other changelings?!"
"No."
"Was it even trying to steal love or pose a threat or-"
"No! I just attacked him and he was just a colt, he looked barely old enough to be any older than Rarity's sister!"
"I see... and are you certain that he was not with other changelings or attempting anything like the other changelings?"
"I'm certain, I-" Twilight stopped talking when her voice was caught in her throat as she tried her best to choke down her own tears.
"Twilight, you are to find this changeling and apologize."
"But-"
"No, you will apologize. I don't know anything about him but if he was trying some sort of friendly approach to us ponies then it is our duty to show him kindness. After I get all the facts you will be punished for using your magic on an innocen-"
"Innocent?! Was it innocent to attack my brother’s wedding?!" Twilight stood off her chair and stepped forward as she advanced on her teacher.
"No Twilight it-"
"Was it innocent to nearly tear my friends trust apart, including yours?!"
"No-"
"Nopony even apologized to me! I was right, ha! And nopony, not even you apologized when everything was fixed! You think it's easy pretending everything is fine when it wasn't?! To get lectured by my teacher and friends for doing what was right? Changelings nearly wiped out our capital city and nearly they..." Twilight could not finish her sentence, she had backed up the alicorn into the corner of her room as the guards stood by, too shocked to do anything. The mare broke down crying. Celestia wasted no time in scooping her in for a near bone crunching hug.
"Twilight listen to me. First off I want to say I am sorry, I suppose we all overlooked that big detail. I am truly sorry and it was your instincts that saved us all." There was no response from her as she kept on crying. "But why are we ponies Twilight?"
"Huh?"
"What have I taught you over the years?"
"I- d-d"
"Deep breaths first. In and out." It took a full two minutes to calm her student down but she eventually stopped sniffling.
"I don't understand."
"Well it should be simple. Love, tolerance and harmony are the basis on which our society was founded. Now I don't know all the facts on this changeling... where did you find him and was this his first approach to our town?"
"It’s a long story."
"I have time my dear student."
So Twilight told her everything she knew about Saving Grace, the campsite and the changeling. "I think it’s just those two living together, Princess."
"I see. Well my order still stands, Twilight. You will march over there and apologize. I will wait here and when everything is settled, I would like to speak with this changeling myself. Understand?"
"But what if they don't listen?"
"I believe you can make your friends listen, you did after all say they had befriended him, according to this, Grace, right?"
"Yes, okay, Princess. And I'm s-"
"No, I'm sorry, Twilight, for not seeing if you were okay after the invasion was over with. I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart." Twilight smiled.
"I love you, Princess..." She blushed while saying it but felt it was a good of time as any.
"I love you too, now go!"
Twilight wasted no time in running as fast as her legs would carry her, after a bit she began to teleporting in order to speed things up before finally arriving at her friend’s cottage. A few knocks on the door later and she eventually came face to face with Fluttershy.
"Oh, um, hello Twilight."
"Hi Fluttershy, are they here?" She asked in a quiet voice.
"Yes, but they don't want to see you."
"I- Alright, can you just tell them that I'm truly sorry?"
"I can, but Twilight why did you attack?"
"I thought, well, Fluttershy did I ever tell you girls how I felt after the invasion?" She slowly shook her head but was starting to understand right away. "I felt hurt, only Applejack apologized but the rest of t- no the rest of you girls barely said anything when it was all over."
"So you did that to feel better-"
"No! I was just scared okay, I guess I'm afraid of changelings..."
"Because of what they almost did to your life?" Fluttershy finished with an air of sympathy. All Twilight could do was nod her head in shame. "I see. Well... In that case I may have an idea, I'll just be right back." Twilight patiently waited for the mare to return. She was shocked to find the changeling opening the door with some of his magic and shutting it leaving them both alone. Night Shade could literally taste her shame and disappointment it tasted like...
"Blueberries!" Twilight stepped back in shock and confusion.
"I- W- What?!"
"Your emotions they taste like blueberries." He replied and giggled after licking his lips a few times. This was quite literally the last thing she expected to hear.
"O-okay, good... Um." Twilight stammered but could think of no other reply.
"Hmm."
Twilight tried several times to say her apology in a calm manner, but eventually she knew that another approach was the only way.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry for hurting you and I'm sorry for attacking first and not talking it out and... I'm sorry..."
The changeling burped in a response and smiled. Twilight was unsure what emotion to feel, anger for not being taken seriously, sadness for what she did, or happiness for obviously being forgiven? "That... tastes so good! It was like that ice cream stuff that Fluttershy gave me only with anger on top!" Twilight blinked a few times in response. "Oh! Sorry, Fluttershy explained to me that you were afraid of me cause of what happened at the invasion and well she made it sound better, but anyway.... I forgive you!"
"You do?"
"Yep, as long as we can be friends?"
"...Yes! I would like that- Oh! Um, do you want to meet the princess cause she wanted to talk to you?"
"Is she gonna ban me or something?"
"No, in fact she was the one who told me to apologize to you."
"Can Grace come?" Twilight nodded and was soon joined by a very angry Grace.
"I have some demands if we are gonna see the princess!" She stomped and angry hoof on the ground. Night Shade then whispered into Twilight's ear.
"Please, keep her angry, it tastes sooooooo good and I never get to see her like this!" He then smiled and joined Grace's side again.
"Alright Grace, and I want to say I'm sorry."
"Fine. Number one, you do not get to be in the room with the princess."
"Okay..."
"Number two, no casting spells anywhere near Night Shade."
"Right..."
"Number three, Fluttershy has to be with us at all times."
"Oh I don't think I could- Eeep!" She was gathered in Twilight's magic and gently placed outside of her cottage right near them.
"Good. Let's go!" Her voice instantly changing from pure anger and hatred to her normal self. The changeling groaned with his 'meal' flow stopping.
Bowing seemed like the proper action when they stood in front of the princess so the young changeling did just that, sandwiched in between a bowing Fluttershy and Grace.
"Rise my little- Well, please rise there is no need for that." So they stood up and waited. Grace would be lying if she said she felt uncomfortable while under the princess's gaze. Night Shade however furrowed his brow and groaned causing the princess to turn her attention to him.
"I don't get it!" Celestia opened her mouth to respond, but then realized that she had nothing to say. "Why can't I taste your-"
"Night Shade! Stop obsessing on food!" Celestia smirked when she finally figured it out and cleared her throat.
"It is alright Saving Grace, I'm well aware of his race’s... affinity for tasting emotions. I'm not offended. How long have you both known each other?"
"A while, your highness..." Grace squeaked out.
"I see. And he is your friend?"
"Yes."
"And you trust him?"
"With my life." She replied without hesitation.
"Very well. Do you trust him, Fluttershy?'
"Yes, I do. He's very friendly."
"Then that is enough for me. Welcome to my kingdom, Night Shade."
"Uh, thanks?"
"You’re very welcome. Twilight, however has informed me that you two are living on your own?"
"Yeah-" Night Shade was interrupting by a loud snort from Grace. It did not take a genius to know why she did this, Celestia knew.
"Saving Grace, what my student did was my fault."
"...What?"
"When the changeling invasion happened, it was Twilight in the end who saw through the queen’s act even when I and her friends doubted her. We never once apologized-"
"Except Applejack." Fluttershy interjected.
"Right, except her and I failed to see how much that hurt Twilight. When she saw Night Shade, she must have panicked with her worst fears coming to the surface. The fear that everything she knew was to be in danger again. So I'm sorry to both of you, but please do not blame Twilight or throw away her friendship."
"I-I'll try princess." Grace stammered out.
"I already forgave her! I just want more anger..." Muttering the last part.
"I'll see what I can do about that, Night Shade, but we have another issue. Grace, are you both actually living on your own, outside?"
"Yes but-"
"Well we can't have that." Celestia decided while turning to Fluttershy and disregarding the filly’s protests.
"But we're happy this way!" Grace practically screamed, the princess glared down at her but kept her expression mostly neutral.
"Princess, I do believe her and for what it’s worth I told both of them that they are welcome at my cottage anytime."
"Be that as it may, I still cannot leave two children unattended or unguarded. And I'm sure that Night Shade would have a better future if he was enrolled in school, wouldn't you agree Grace?"
"...I guess. But what are you saying?"
"Well, not saying much. Fluttershy, would you agree to be their legal guardian?"
"I, erm-" She looked over the two, Grace smiled and as did she. Night Shade simply shrugged and waited. Fluttershy then remembered the moment they shared and had already agreed to take them in before. "Yes, I would be very happy to be their guardian."
"Wonderful and I'll talk to Twilight about schooling for Night Shade if the local school disagrees with him. As for Grace..."
"I can go to school if you like, but-"
"But, I sense a wonderfully creative mind and Twilight did praise you during our talk. Perhaps you can help her with her private studies that come directly from me? You could go far and I sense that although the local schooling system would be sufficient... this might be more akin to actually teaching you something?" Celestia finished with a smirk and a knowing smile along with a wink that only Grace caught.
"That sounds good to me!"
"Excellent, then I think this might call for-"
"A PARTY!" Pinkie Pie sprang up, seemingly out of nowhere but in reality it was from behind Twilight's couch. For a little while nothing was said, Celestia looked almost shocked that the party pony was indeed hiding this entire time, but then a loud audible burp was heard from the smallest in the room.
"Cotton Candy?" They all giggled except for Pinkie who for once during a joke looked confused as anypony.
You made him burping machine xD
He only burped twice, c'mon......... 2297589
2297600
But it felt like he do this all time :P
He's burped three times in the whole story, what can I say? A guy likes to eat 2297604
Well looks like Celestia was silenced by her guilt
Hmm... This chapter seemed much more rushed than the others. The scene transitions are abrupt, with no pause in between. The dialogue doesn't have any pauses where pauses would be, either. It's not a grammatical error, it's just a bit unnatural considering their emotional state. There is also little in the way of descriptions.
Well my job is to edit the grammatical side. I leave the story writing to Spike. Although I did add a sentence right before Night Shade bowed as there was no transition there. One moment they're in front of Flutter's cottage and the next moment he is bowing in front of Celestia.
I still like the story though.
2297606 This is good but there better be a sequel cuz.....
I NEED MOAR!!!
I would say poor Fluttershy, but as inclined as Saving Grace is, they will probably be a positive contribution to her free time as opposed to a deleterious one.
Twilight seems to have some serious PTSD going on.
Nice, but the dialog feels a little sketchy sometimes. It’s a bit confusing keeping track of who’s speaking with no explanation or description attached.
You know I thought it wasn't all that confusing when I wrote it, but a lot of my editors have told me I need to be clear with stuff like that, it does make more sense but it seemed to me obvious who was talking, but maybe I need to just break that habit. 2298963
I suppose I may have rushed a few things but this story was never meant to go on for this long. Also I wanted to end it but mainly because of the lack of comments but now that I made a few mistakes I finally get them I didn't feel the need to write explanations of their surroundings this late into the story but I do understand the lack of understanding when someone is talking, bad habit I need to break. So, sorry about that. I guess I just somewhat lost interest in this story when NO ONE was calling me on mistakes or commenting much at all, not to seem rude but maybe I need to start begging for comments lol.
Scene transitions, I felt that when I was typing, sorry I suppose they are rather quick. I think it is why I like writing longer stories with chapters that fill 5000 words over shorter ones. 2297993
2299094 Of course it’s going to be obvious from your point of view; you imagined the story and bought it to life. Just try to be a bit more thorough is all I can ask, having a good story in your head and putting it onto paper needs good description and explanation so the reader can visualise the awesomeness of your idea.
Its why I like writing longer stories, I could have made Grace like a 50K word story but then my other stories would suffer. 2299135
2299146 Well I suppose it’s best to concentrate on what you like to do. I suppose I would have just fleshed it out a little more myself.
I could have. I wanted to try something slightly different, i mean usually when two kids are on their own they are not happy so I reversed that and usually when a changeling approaches the Mane 6 they are not trusting so I reversed that lol. 2299160
2299167 Oh I’m not referring to the plot line, I mean what I said earlier, that I would have taken a little more time to explain and describe the events that are already there.
Maybe one day I will go back and rewrite some chapters and maybe a sequel but there is one story me and a friend have been working on FOREVER that I want out. Though I do appericiate this feebdack, it means a few of my readers are actually interested in giving me constructive criticism! I'm happy because usually I get:
1. Fix Grammar
2. Fix Canon
3. Fix OOC
Instead of actual advice. 2299177
2299221 Well I'm just happy to help. Either way best of luck with your endeavours!
Thank You! 2299252
2299104 This late in the story, there is indeed little need to describe the surroundings. There are other things that do need described, though, such as feelings, expressions, and actions.
I really don't see a lack of any of that... I like to agree with my readers but I do try hard on these stories, if you had examples though... Besides through it all both Grace and Shade are pretty happy for the most part and I did not feel the need to just keep calling attention to that. 2301843
I like that this story point out that Twilight was deeply hurt after Canterlot invasion while acting like nothing happened, and that only Applejack apologise to her when others acted like nothing happened, and scene between Twilight and Celestia was cool, pointing out mistakes on both parties.
But I still have issue by how fast this story go, talks are to short, conclusion go out to fast, character development go like on hyper speed, the whole acceptance and change take far to fast.
I would like to suggest to slow down a bit, make chapters longer and do not make everything to change up so fast and easy, it just make change less interesting and less important.
This is why I always say that short stories are tough to do, if this story was longer it would have been better quality but I never planned on it being like that. 2306873
2314260
I see.
Well, stories I write are a bit longer and I try to develop characters further, the only problem is that I have hard time finding editor who can increase quality of my story, and as result I have many stories what I do not upload ( one of the my stories is changeling story ).
drat all caught up
Good story, a little fast, but still decent. I have 1 question though...
How did Twilight know that Night Shade and Grace were at Fluttershy's cottage after she attacked them on their way to the camp site?
Assumption based on her nature. I suppose I could of had a tiny line about that or paragraph where Twilight tries to figure where they are, but it makes sense to me. 2493829
man, this story should have a sequel about how hard life for them is being accepted into the town.
It is technically not finished. But I might do that... I just have plenty of other stories... 2557818
You're welcome, and sorry it has taken so long for this one to update. 2610754
10# hummm and lol
I've always assumed everypony apologised to Twilight off-screen, including Applejack since hers was only a line during the actual episode. However, it's entirely valid that they neglected to, and if they had, it's all too easy for me to see Twilight bottling her emotions up and taking it out on a Changeling, representative of the race that caused the whole schism between her and her friends and mentor.
I did notice the lack of Fluttershy's family being mentioned, and was going to comment on that in the last chapter if it hadn't already been revealed by then (though to be fair, I did go through this story in one night, instead of chapter by chapter across several weeks).