Rotten Apples
Twilight was dreaming again: Rotting apples the size of ponies shambled through Ponyville's streets, chasing the citizenry to and fro. It appeared that the poorly behaved fruit had the goal of devouring her friends and neighbors, despite being apples and having no mouths. As she finished the thought the apple-zombies split their skins vertically, opening gaping maws with rotting, worm infested, teeth. "I have got to stop doing that," she chided herself. Her sarcastic commentary on her own dreams had led, on prior occasions, to some rapidly escalating and very disturbing nightmares that bothered her to this day. Upon describing this pattern of worsening nightmares to Luna, back in happier days, the alicorn had cryptically told her "Never get into a staring contest with your soul, it will always win."
A different, and equally unexpected, side-effect of becoming a lucid dreamer was boredom. Unless a dream was particularly disturbing (or insightful) she no longer had any need to participate in the dramas playing out behind her eyelids. If she were still dreaming passively, she would have been frantically running around trying to save her friends from the undead fruit. But since she was fully aware that no one was actually in harm's way, her only choices were either to half-heartedly playing along with the dream and its characters or to just ignore the whole dream-carnage business and find something else to do. She was still working on developing a spell to allow her to insert books she hadn't already read into her dreams, so far the results had been nothing but disappointing.
Twilight had just made up her mind to try going to Sugarcube Corner and have some calorie-free baked goods when there was a knock on a door. She turned towards the noise and saw a door, large, wooden, and black, standing freely in the middle of the road. Rampaging fruit dodged around it, so she surmised that her subconscious must be aware of its existence. She walked around the door to the other side but it was entirely identical on that face as well. She noted that it opened outward from either direction. The knock sounded again. Looking to her left and right, and then feeling embarrassed by her embarrassment within her own dream, she responded as normally as possible. "Who is it?" she asked.
The somewhat muffled reply was unmistakable, "It is I, Luna. May I come in?"
Twilight smiled. "Well, this is new. And far more thoughtful than usual," she thought. She considered invoking the power of refusal, simply because she could, but then remembered how bored she had been just moments prior. "All right, come in."
The door opened as the silver doorknob turned. Within was a darkness that tugged at Twilight's memory, begging to be named but she was unable to do so. Luna stepped through the blackness as if it were a membrane and was suddenly bathed in dream-provided sunlight. The alicorn looked oddly naked, she was without her diadem, pectoral, or even her elaborate shoes. The total took a few centimeters from her height and make her look quite a bit younger. She smiled warmly at Twilght and she felt her heart do a little flip of joy despite her attempts to both "play it cool" as Rainbow Dash had suggested she do. The suggestion was remarkable in that it was quite likely the first thing Rainbow and Rarity had ever agreed upon in her presence.
"Twilight, it is good to..." Luna had started to greet her but then was distracted by the horde of undead marauding apples. "Well, this is new," She understated; the wings were a common enough occurrence in Twilight's dreams that they didn't even merit comment anymore. "Is everything all right?"
"There's kind of a problem with Apple Bloom,"
"Your earth-pony friend's daughter?"
Twilight's eyes widened and then she remembered that the two of them were very much alone and calmed down. "No, heh, I can see why you might think that. She's her little sister. She just got her cutie mark today."
Luna's eyes shifted to take in the scenery of the appleocalypse. "And that leads to all this, how?"
"Her talent seems to be necromancy."
Luna paused before confirming, "She can speak with the dead?"
"Finally!" Twilight exclaimed in relief and feeling a strong pulse of affection for Luna
"Finally what?" the princess asked.
"You didn't ask about the zombies."
"She can raise zombies too?" Asked Luna, confused.
Twilight face-hoofed and groaned in psychic pain.
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The two alicorns were seated calmly at a table inside Sugarcube Corner while the screams of dying ponies, the moans of the zombie apples, and the roar of collapsing buildings all passed by in the background, unacknowledged. Twilight was having pie a la mode and a coffee while Luna was enjoying a vanilla milkshake.
"I have to agree, this is one of your better ideas," Luna said after a particularly delicious sip.
"Sadly, it is also one of our better dates." Twilight ruefully quipped.
"At least I can blame you this time if something goes wrong," Luna countered with a crooked smile.
Twilight gestured to the carnage filling the streets, "And how is this my fault?"
"I do remember some alicorn princess of the night saying something similar a few weeks ago."
"The Canidian embassy dinner?" Twilight asked, archly.
"How was I to know that they were going to serve veal? Anyways, they took it away after you were...ill... and replaced it with a potato dish."
"Poutine is not acceptable food for a pony," the purple mare insisted.
"It was mostly fried potatoes and cheese," was Luna's flip response.
"And gravy, don't you dare forget the gravy. You kissed me that night and I could still taste it!" Twilight shuddered at the memory. "I was so hungry by that point it almost tasted good."
Luna gently laughed at the memory of the ridiculous night and felt like giving Twilight a vanilla milkshake-flavored kiss to make up for the sullied one. But all joking aside, she could tell that the subject was still a sore one for Twilight and deliberately changed the subject. "So, a necromancer you say."
Twilight was unsure as to which topic was less romantic, beef bone gravy or a child that speaks with the dead. "Yeah."
"It must be really bothering you."
"Why do you say that?" Twilight asked.
Luna arched an eyebrow and gestured out the now blood-streaked window.
"Ah, that, ok, I admit that I'm kinda freaked out. She seems like a pretty normal filly. She wasn't into anything weird. She didn't go around cutting up small animals or anything. Everyone thought she would get a mark for carpentry or something."
"Twilight, what does torturing animals have to do with talking to ghosts?"
The purple mare sighed, she hated admitting to irrational bias. "Nothing," she muttered.
"How are her par- her family taking it?"
Twilight caught the correction but chose not to say anything. "Heck," she thought to herself, "I've wondered the same thing myself once or twice." She addressed Luna's question, "They are worried, protective, and afraid: both for her and of her. They were the one's originally asking if she had done anything wrong in order to get this cutie mark."
"I hope you corrected their misconceptions, Twilight. The poor filly is going to have a hard enough time as it is. The last thing she needs is her family thinking that she's some sort of cultist."
"I did what I could but they had the usual questions that any paren- family member has when a child develops a mark they don't approve of." She mock-scowled at Luna as the other alicorn grinned at having induced Twilight to make the same mistake regarding Apple Bloom's parentage. She resumed her story," 'Can it be removed? Can she get a replacement one? Could you please write the Princess to make sure?' They love her but its just so far outside of their idea of normal they have no way to handle it."
"Love," Luna replied. "As long as they follow what the love in their hearts tell them to do, they'll be fine in the end."
"Luna, she's already come close to dying from this once." Twilight then told Luna an condensed summary of Apple Bloom's encounter with the 'Blanks.'
Luna sat without speaking for a few moments while pondering Twilight's story. Twilight turned to face the window again. She could see everyone she knew and loved torn to bloody shreds on the streets of Ponyville. The screams had finished, the rotten apples had won. A rattling gurgle dragged the purple mare's attention back to her companion as the milkshake died at the hooves of Luna.
"I think you may be right Twilight. Love won't be enough to help this girl. I do have a suggestion but you won't like it. In fact you may get very angry with me for even suggesting it."
Twilight's blood ran cold, fearing what drastic measures the Monarch of Darkness might suggest.
"She needs training, from another necromancer."
"Oh," Twilight said, surprised at how simple and reasonable the suggestion was. "Ok, that sounds good. Are you willing to help her with that?"
Luna took an awkward moment to answer, "Twilight, I am not an expert on necromancy, despite its reputation as a dark art."
"Oh, heh. Ok then, do you know anyone who is?
"Yes, but only the one do we know." Luna said with trepidation.
Twilight noticed Luna's slip into the self-plural. She only did that these days when she was nervous.
"Tis Grogar."
"Oh, Luna no!" Twilight wailed.
"Yes, for this I am deeply sorry." Luna lowered her head.
"But he's such an asshole."
Luna looked up, mouth agape in shock at Twilight's vulgarity.
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Twilight was sleeping on her back, arms and legs akimbo underneath the translucently thin sheet covering her. Her lips were twitching as she talked in her dream, but they were smiling. The indigo alicorn standing over her watched those lips as a portion of her consciousness walked alongside the mare she loved through the overrun ruins of Ponyville. Luna knew that this wasn't exactly fair, Twilight could only be at one place at a time, but as she gazed at Twilight's unguarded face her whole self was in agreement: Totally worth it.
The morning sunlight had not yet forced Twilight to wake, despite its bright golden stream falling directly upon her. The beam illuminated the air above the unicorn's nostrils, revealing the normally invisible motes of dust and fluff lurking within. Each breath the mare took stirred the air before her, causing the glowing dust to swirl in a miniature vortex. The sight reminded Luna of the fireflies that she loved so much. It reminded her how beautiful and alive her Twilight was. It reminded her how much she loved her and how much the thought of losing her scared and hurt the alicorn. She wanted nothing more but to worm her way underneath that sheet and hold and be held by her lover. But she also knew that things weren't well enough between them for that. She had lost the implicit permission for such things that a happy relationship conveyed. That too hurt.
Things were going well during their stroll back to Golden Oaks. That gave Luna some hope. It wasn't salvation or absolution but it was a step in the right direction. She could feel Twilight's dream drawing to a close; when the mare overlapped the location of her waking-world body she would rejoin the waking world herself. Luna reminded herself that she couldn't be here when she woke up, that Twilight would take her uninvited presence within this intimate space as a violation of her privacy. Luna spent one last moment to look over her shoulder at her sleeping beauty and then fled to the kitchen below. Luna only knew how to cook two things, porridge (that Twilight called oatmeal) and coffee (a mandatory skill for dating Twilight); she would begin making both.
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Twilight felt the glowing warmth of the sun on her body and caught the scent of fresh coffee. She pulled the sheet off of herself and flopped about the bed, stretching like a lazy cat. She could feel the smile on her face and the one in her heart. While her dream was macabre and conversation with Luna serious, she had enjoyed herself. Her dream last night was one of the best dates they had had during the entire tenure of their relationship. The smell of coffee tantalized her and let her know that Luna had arrived while she was sleeping.
At the thought, Twilight's smile faded. "She was here, in my home, and didn't join me in bed," she thought to herself. As much as she loved the fact that she had coffee waiting for her, she was disappointed that Luna hadn't surprised her with some morning snuggles. Twilight frowned as she ran a few simulations in her head to analyze what her possible responses to finding Luna in her bed would have been and found that part of her would have resented the intrusion. She sighed, hating the complexity of relationships, the frail state of her one with Luna, and her own neuroses. "Maybe Luna had chosen the safest route by waiting for her in the kitchen, coffee in hoof," she admitted to herself. But in avoiding upsetting one portion of her psyche, Luna had disappointed the part of her that ached to be woken up by her marefriend kissing her in some totally inappropriate places.
Resisting the urge to beat her own head against the wall, Twilight got up to go to the bathroom. "Queen of Dreams or not, Luna would not appreciate being greeted by morning breath," Twilight told herself while dragging her hooves down the hallway.
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Luna saw something purple move at the edge of her vision and turned to greet her marefriend with the brightest smile she could muster. "Good morning, darling. I let y-" she then saw she was speaking with Spike, who was yawning and rubbing his eyes.
With a smirk he answered, "Hey there snooki-wookums, got anything good in the pot?"
Luna laughed as soon as she regained her composure. "Sorry Spike, We are slightly on edge this morning."
He shimmied up one of the stools surrounding the kitchen table. "Things aren't better between you and Twilight yet?"
She paused for a moment, not knowing what or how much to tell the young dragon. While still an infant by the accounting of dragons, he was of an age where many ponies would start having their first tentative explorations of romance. Also, she didn't know what Twilight had told him and how much she wanted her ward to know about her love life.
"I'll take that as a 'no'," said Spike after the pause had grown too long.
Luna offered him a pained smile. "You are right, Spike. But I want to talk to Twilight first before I discuss the details with you."
He responded with the non-committal reply universal to every teenager of every species everywhere: "Whatever."
Luna levitated a bowl of porridge over to the wyrmling while pulling a shaker half-full of crushed amethysts down from a high cupboard and placing it besides the bowl.
Twilight arrived while Spike was still shaking the purple grains across the top of the oats, the entire bowl had a thin crust of gem-dust. "Spike, that's enough for now."
"Fine," he replied while sneaking one more shake in before putting the container down.
Twilight shuffled up against the table, taking a seat at a stool next to her number-one assistant. Before she could say anything a large, steaming mug of black coffee slid to a stop directly underneath her muzzle. A bowl of oatmeal slid next to the mug an instant later with an slight "clink" as the two pieces of earthenware touched. The unicorn looked up and saw Luna less than a meter away with an alarmingly wide, and forced, smile on her face. "Um, thanks" she said and then concentrated on her coffee "I'm so not awake enough for this yet." she thought to herself.
"Good morning, dear." Luna greeted with a forced lightness that gave the words a saccharine tone. Twilight's left eye twitched in response.
"Morning, Luna." Twilight grumbled. She wasn't upset at the mare but the tug-of war going on inside her head had seriously soured the unicorn's mood.
"Are you feeling ok?" Luna asked as she noticed Twilight's sudden change in mood from the dream to now.
"I...I just have a headache. Don't worry about it, the coffee should help." Twilight lied.
Spike was the one who broke the awkward silence that then enveloped the kitchen. "So, Luna. Are you here to take Apple Bloom away from her family?"
Twilight spat out coffee while Luna looked stricken. "No, never!" Luna exclaimed.
"Spike! Whatever gave you that idea?" Twilight demanded.
"I heard that she got her cutie mark in zombies," he answered, cowed by the strong reaction his question prompted.
"From who?!?" His mother-figure continued.
"I was over at Rarity's last evening and Sweetie Belle came by and told us that Apple Bloom was a necro-thingie. Rarity said it has something to do with zombies. They had a fight about it though. I left after that started but I heard Rarity tell Sweetie she can't play with Apple Bloom anymore because she was dangerous."
"Did she." The statement from Twilight wasn't a question, more a declaration of war.
"We will need to act quickly," Luna added.
"Yeah, we need to head straight over to Carrousel Boutique and give Rarity a talking to she’ll never forget!" Twilight rubbed her hooves together.
"Um…I was more thinking that we needed to get Apple Bloom to Grogar and begin her lessons as soon as possible. Getting her out of town will give people time to calm down and be less fearful."
"Oh…I guess. Wait, Luna I think you're wrong on this," Twilight interrupted herself.
"You think she doesn't need training?" Luna asked, confused.
"No, that I agree with," Twilight clarified. "The problem is if we do carry her off to wherever Grogar is lurking, everyone will think exactly as Rarity did. We can't let ponies think that we needed to swoop in and rescue everyone from her. She'd never recover their trust."
Luna nodded along, seeing Twilight's point. "So, we are going to invite Grogar back to Ponyville." Luna cocked an eyebrow at her marefriend. "Are you going to be able to tolerate this?"
Twilight sighed, "I'll deal with it, somehow."
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Best misunderstanding ever.
Twilight really doesn't have the same level of loathing for Grogar, even if he basically killed her before. It's funny though. An excellent chapter, now we need pictures of rotten apples slowly masticating ponies.
Canidians... I'm guessing Canis? Wolves or Dogs?
Canis Canukus - or Winter Wolves.
images.wikia.com/mlpfanart/images/d/d7/Luna_Scooting_by_Vapgames.gif
I liked the jokes in this chapter and was glad to see Twilight and Luna get a decent date going. Enter Grogar scene left.
Some amazing jokes here
Oh look, Grogar.
............
GROGAR!!
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m16k2fglvz1r1ickyo1_250.gif
twi doesn't actually have a problem with grogar, just his personality!
one thing; sometimes it's kinda confusing too figure out who's saying what (it's not obvious) when you're not writing any kind of indication, it's not a big deal really, but it does break the flow a bit as i have to figure out who's saying what.
1944374
Is that better?
1944630
a lot better thank you
That last line of Twilight's amused me greatly.
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Agreed! The lessons are bound to be a riot.
Expectations:
"But he was an evil demi-god capable of breaking out of Tartarus and almost killing Celestia!"
Reality
"But he's such an asshole!"
Priceless... Simply priceless xD
Twilight, you should be a lot more concerned about this than you currently are.
Please consider flipping out.
rereading 'cause the story is that good ^^
Aaaataaaack of the Zombie Apples!
Poutine is wonderful. That bit was hilarious.
And i lost my shit right there.
Cue the 'Scream of Infinite Rage' aka the 'Earbreaker.'