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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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just saying, but Australia IS FREAKIN' AWESOME!
ok you have my intrest
2728112 I don't trust the jellyfish
hummmm
this is one schapter i thought i readed alredy 2
wow this is one awesome story and
LUNA
can't gat enough of her
is a little weid but i hope i wil understand while i read futer
good job so far
2756388
I've been stung by one. It was luckily a small one but was still painful as fuck. It left a smiley face mark for a month or two on my leg.
She got intrigue by his computer, gamer Luna incomming !
i read the sequel first
2728112
I dunt liek et.
Ahh...naming the Kata brings back memories...not all pleasant.
Great first chapter! But now I'm really wondering if he goes to equestria or is this just Luna stalking him the whole time?
Two things of note:
1. His arms hang down to his KNEES? I don't believe there has ever been a real life Human being who has had arms quite THAT long.
2. 'Spot The Typo'
What an original way to introduce the main protagonist of a story. I give you an A+ for originality.
5215927 Non of my memories of Karate are pleasant. I was too kind to hit people at full strength, so I always lost. I have short hamstrings so I get debilitating pain if I try a round house kick. I learned 2 Kata, then my older brother decided karate looked cool and proceeded to go crow white to brown belt in the time it took me to get from short blue to long blue. Finally, it turned out that I hade a degenerative rash on my arms, which caused pain from muscle use. So I had to quit or I could pass it on to people I sparred with. Dishonourable discharge.
2749229 But he doesn't have your spelling.
Jesus schools finish early in the US...
Martial arts, as a category, teach you how to hurt people and break things. That's pretty much the only thing they all have in common. Capitalizing it does not give it more moral character.
Some martial arts instructors may happen to include philosophy or moral guidance with their lessons, and certain martial arts may have a long tradition of doing so, but this is not a natural or necessary consequence of it being a "Martial Art".
Ditch the capitals.
Numerals or words. Pick one and stick with it!
Also, it never ceases to amuse me how much terminology is shared between karate and go.
7116540
Because they start early!
*Cough* foreshadowing *cough*
Could be worse but most of the information given just came off as an obvious exposition dump. Also you try too hard to make the character seem cool it just comes off as cringe when you milk it.
Yeah, you do that. I'll be knocking on you door with a troop to drag yo ass to jail.
Jeez...
I do Isshinryu