The Scottish Ploy
“By the pricking of my hooves, something wicked this way moves...” intoned the great and powerful Sethisto in a giggling high-pitched cackle.
“Sorry, that’ll be me. Burritos.” said Cereal, with a grin that was hard to see in the flickering candle-light. The three most powerful entities in the Equestria Daily offices - bar the Celestial twins of course - were huddled in their secret lair, muzzles close around a spitting bees’ wax candle.
“When I’m blog empress, you’ll be the first against the wall...sheesh.” said Phoe, waving a wing about, “Now, we have to plan our next move very carefully - they must never know what hit them. Failure is not an option!”
“Is the door fast with the three-fold seal of evil, my minion?” rasped Sethisto.
“It’s...it’s a bit tricky, yeah, but I think I got it to stay closed.” replied Cereal
“Ahem,” corrected Sethisto with impatience, “I said...”
“Oh, er, I mean...yes! Yes! The way is barred with the three-fold seal of evil. It’s a pretty evil seal too, damn thing near took my hoof off...”
“Are the runes cast, darkly, my sweet princess?”
“I’m not your princess. I’m Empress Phoe, revealer of the Cursed Arts, practitioner of the Secret Ways and...”
“And caster of the cheap D-20 die collection, if I recall correctly.” said Cereal.
“And caster of the Dark Runes, you mean. Yes, yes, they’re pretty well cast darkly. Can’t see a bloody thing in this place.”
Sethisto sighed, scowling, and resolved to ignore his recalcitrant colleagues, “All things stand ready, my minions, our plan is foolproof...those what would keep me from my prize shall fall before my hooves, cower in fear before me might, flee before...”
The broom-cupboard door opened and a cheery voice asked, “Are you three playing in here again? Don’t you have work to do? Out! Out! I’ve saved you extra muffins since you’ve managed to not set anything on fire this week.”
Celestia shooed them out with her wings and a horn, shaking her head, “And stop playing in that box, Sethisto, you’ll get stuck and then where would you be? Hmm?”
Sethisto clambered out of the smallish box with the odd design on the sides, head hung low, “Sorry Celestia.” he mumbled and followed the rest out.
The table was bare, apart from the tablecloth and an empty plate with a few crumbs on it. Beneath the table-cloth huddled Sethisto, Phoe and Cereal Velocity.
“Curses! Foiled again!” raged Sethisto, raising a hoof and shaking it, “All that planning! Thwarted!”
“Turns out it wasn’t that hard to get extra muffins anyway, was it?” commented Cereal, munching happily.
“Humph...” began Sethisto, before stealing a conspiratorial glance left and right, “When shall we three meet again?”
Phoe rolled her eyes and ate her muffin.
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Hmm are muffins worth not setting things on fire?
These are great btw.
I am somehow reminded of the Elucidated Brethren of the Ebon Night.
I love the concept of a story about the shenanagans of the EQD staff. :D
“By the pricking of my hooves, something wicked this way moves...” intoned the great and powerful Sethisto in a giggling high-pitched cackle.
This is the greatest sentence ever conceived by man.
358325 Its a reference to a Ray Bradbury novel called Something Wicked This Way Comes. Actual quote- By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way this way comes.
362670 I can't tell if you're joking or not.
You do know it's a reference to Macbeth, right?