uhm at the part where luna talks to celestia it says that princess canence sat next to cadance, i was reading too fast to pinpoint the exact point but uhm yes
3109566 Couldn't find it. 3109517 Sarcasm? Now that I add magic and alicorn attacks into it, it becomes realistic? Wait what? 3109583 Spoiler: Next chapter has Luna.
3109504 Go suck a Lemon 3109509 The chapter where I write her having most emotions and reactions? And being funny? Of course Shiny could have written the letter better. But then we wouldn't have had that scene.
3109606 okay i actually did what i should have done and i have it here sorry for being a bother
They share a short kiss, both of them forgetting the royalty standing vigil right next to them. Princess Cadance moves to sit next to Cadance while Shining Armor gets to his hooves. He walks over to Princess Luna and motions for her to follow him to the balcony.
You have no idea how much you made my day, thanks for posting this and sorry about whatever crazy shit happened to you. Thanks for posting, really great plot and worldbuilding, love every minute. TL:DR Love it can't wait for more.
So much thank yous kind sirs for such warm words of encouragement! Such things are the thing that really makes writing worthwhile! Not the critique, not the insightful commentary, not even the guessing games on future events or assessments of character personalisations and continuity. No, my dear readers, you three embody the reason why I get up in the morning and look at my computer and the open documents, saying "Gee, I just wish I had more empty well-wishes so I could just keep on writing!"
3110144 She saved the useless little dragon who was only acting on Twilight's orders. He's a pet, after all. Then Cadance put the Crystal Heart back to its place, killed Sombra, and saved the kingdom.
3110317 But it was Spike who brought the Crystal Heart and ultimately played a very important role in saving the Crystal Empire. So both saved the day in all honesty.
I honestly didn't think Shining could break anymore than he has. That was proven wrong rather quickly.
Of course this chapter shows us the true victims in this tragedy: Diamond Dogs. Those poor, poor Diamond Dogs. They just want a new home...and perhaps ponies made of gemstone. Obviously the negotiations did not go well due to Cadance's stress over matters of the home. Thanks Shining Armor! Can no one think of the children?
Luna has been awesome this whole story and this chapter cranked it up a notch.
Sorry to hear that editing is making more work than necessary.
I don't think there's going to be any residual magic, it's just Shining armour being that messed up. It's going to hurt to find that out though, there's no easy way out.
I like your depiction of Luna, I think she should be talking to Ms Swallow's as well. It's cute how desperate she is to be able to do something and for people to like her but sad at the same time.
I think he's grasping for straws as well. If someone were to manipulate me like through a lover like Chrysalis did, I'd have trust issues just as bad as Shining, and it wouldn't take magic to keep the trust issues strong.
Honestly, I'm not sure if I'd ever fully recover from it. I think there'd always be hesitation on my part, and I'd never fully open up again. If the story branches towards a point where Shining fully recovers with no remaining scars, I think it'd be doing the story injustice.
Excellent stuff as always, but if I could make a suggestion? Don't kill yourself over this stuff. It's good, really good, but as with any art, it suffers when you're not enjoying it. I just hate seeing people with talent burn themselves out by putting undue pressure on themselves because of other people's demands. And I totally understand having to deal with the mad scramble of switching up your support staff, it sucks.
Basically, keep your chin up and try to enjoy what you do, because you do it damn well.
I wouldn't be surprised if Cadance develops (or has already developed) a creeping, irrational suspicion that her husband has an affair with her Auntie Luna. He's gotten so close to Luna, he went to Luna to find help instead of her (she came to his rescue, guns blazing!), and he wants to meet with Luna again (in the Garden!) for some arcane purpose that neither wants to tell her. Of course it'd be paranoid, and I'm certain, on some level, she'd even be aware of that- but keep in mind that Cadance is just as messed up as Shining Armor is.
Nevermind that this must be one of her worst fears: to lose everything once again, from her identity to the love of her life- not through the actions of an impostor this time, but by being mistaken for the impostor. That's the stuff that nightmares are made of.
3114407 Meh. She's just left in the dark about the whole thing because her hubby wants to keep secrets from him and would rather tell them to a mare he has met and talked with for maybe five times? Let alone her being a princess, more accepting of his lifestyle, understanding, powerful. Good thing she hasn't suspected him of cheating on her before and even told it to his face. And now they're meeting in the middle of the night in Luna's personal happy place to look at the moon together after being called names by that same mare.
Nah. There's no ways Cady would find any of this a problem. After all, Celestia told her it's k.
This story is epic and covers difficult, interesting subject matter. I haven't seen any fic follow or even come close to this approach and you have something you need to be really proud of. I know editors are put on this earth to make writers suffer, and trust me, it's always a love/hate thing and there are ALWAYS miss-communications and screw-ups, no matter how hard everyone involved tries to avoid them.
If you feel like you're dealing with too much, pick your favorite editor and fire the other, simplify, and accept that you might miss some things mistakes now and again. I think you have an established readership by now and we aren't going to run for the hills over the occasional type-o. Take breaks when you need them, don't worry about deadlines, and just do what you can when you can. I for one will be perfectly happy with an update every month or two, if that's how long it takes to produce something of high quality.
You have an amazing talent, and the fact that you are using it here, to create this, happens to make me and a lot of your fellow bronies very happy indeed. Keep that in mind when you feel stressed out: we're all here, looking forward to the next chapter and wishing you the very best.
3111677 Hopefully he can move past it. To be permanently scarred like that for the rest of his life would just flat out suck. I know you don't want him to fully recover but he should at least recover to the point where he and his wife can be happy together.
It is super weird reading this and Liquid Pride at the same time. One story has luna and shining as best friends and the other portraits Luna as a variable rapist.
3119724 I would very much appreciate if you did not compare the two fics. Shakespearicles writes funny stuff, but his quality is really abhorrent, as are most of his jokes, which are almost all ripped from other brony artists. At least he acknowledges them and links to them directly. It's mostly just a collection of 'pop' culture references to make his stories fun. LP has also taken some very dark turns lately, including turning Luna into a shape-shifting rapists (which I'm betting is actually Chryssie, but we'll see).
I'm not trying to bash his stories. They are funny and have made me guffaw a few times. They are also so surreal that most of the time the reader can't even be sure what has happened and what hasn't, which is sometimes a good way of tricking the reader, but not when he does it all the time in every chapter. His stories also lack any sort of coherence in narrative or perspective, switching from 3rd person omni to limited to first person to Celestia knows what else.
This must be a REALLY rough week for Cadence Her husband tells her that he's afraid of her, a diamond dog "dignitary", seemingly random assault by her aunt-that-used-to-be-the-thing-of-nightmares, and the impending couple therapy session. $20 says there is no left over magic affecting him but rather just psychological scarring from Queen cheese legs' mind-rape spell. Because casting dis-spell on his cranium would be too easy (as you would say in the comments)
3121919 Humm... should it be a 'dog-nitary'? With a strict diplomatic dog-ma? We're on the verge of new fanon here mares and gentlecolts! Or at least some very bad puns...
Oh... yay... some 3D PIG DISGUSTING ponies in my beautiful 2D world. 2D > 3D! Also waifus and stuff.
3122786 Hahahaha! I am completely for including "dog-nitary" into our collective brony vocabulary. We should also get on the horn with the Pound Puppies adult fandom and give them the wonderful gift of useable puns!
I'm so happy to see another chapter this story is getting better and better... the whole Luna incident and the almost mental break of shining trying to just write a letter was priceless
But if I can send you my opinion: This is a fanfic, not a book that you have to send to editors and etc... you need to relax a little or else you will end up like Shining Armor... And no, I'm not talking about the crazy part... if you know what I mean...
3123305 Don't good writers put something of themselves into their books? When does the abyss start typing my life story in its black letters on my soul? How much madness do I write until I realize it was my own broken mind trying to mend it self? Are all the events of CIAM parts of my life that I'm trying to figure out? Is the confusion and fear Shining Armor feels the same as my own from being alone so long? Are all the male characters just metaphors of my own confused gender identity, while all the strong female characters are the multitudes of ways in which I don't understand women? Are my erectile dysfunction and long-term psychiatric issues the seed for all this bile and darkness in the story? Can I do it justice and actually write a happy ending to it, even if my own life doesn't lead that way?
3122963 Glad to help! 3122786 Eh, true that the 3D Garry's Mod pony models can look a bit off and make all of them look like that they are all wearing lipstick at certain angles, but combining ponies and "Its always sunny in Philadelphia" is pretty... funny... I can totally see someone doing a longer You Tube series called "Its always sunny in Fillydelphia" where they directly remake each episode but with ponies. Either with original animation or Garry Mod. The one I posted in the comments was made with chunks from different episodes, so close but no cigar.
3123679 You may need therapy. or maybe just some testosterone supplements. I hear they work well for males with sexual issues whether psychological or physical. That may or may not have just sounded like a "low-t" marketing line. Still, it couldn't hurt to try semi-natural hormone treaments or something if that's your issue.
3109606 I meant realistic in the sense that the characters are thinking and acting more like an organic part of the story, rather than just character molds responding to various plot devices. it reads as a more realistic account of the after effects of something like a changeling invasion on the individual characters. it'sacompliment, not sarcasm :)
This story is just as good as I remember.
Now pick up the pace, ya dingus.
Sassy sounded rather mechanical in this chapter. Eh, might just be me.
Also... Shining could have probably contacted Luna just a touch better...
~Skeeter The Lurker
nice work :)
loving the realistic direction the story's taking, and I can't wait to see what you have planned next.
uhm at the part where luna talks to celestia it says that princess canence sat next to cadance, i was reading too fast to pinpoint the exact point but uhm yes
3109566 Couldn't find it.
3109517 Sarcasm? Now that I add magic and alicorn attacks into it, it becomes realistic? Wait what?
3109583 Spoiler: Next chapter has Luna.
3109504 Go suck a Lemon
3109509 The chapter where I write her having most emotions and reactions? And being funny? Of course Shiny could have written the letter better. But then we wouldn't have had that scene.
Great chapter. Not much else to say, I'm glad the issue between Shiny and Cady is finally being confronted. Update again as soon as you can <3
3109606 okay i actually did what i should have done and i have it here sorry for being a bother
They share a short kiss, both of them forgetting the royalty standing vigil right next to them. Princess Cadance moves to sit next to Cadance while Shining Armor gets to his hooves. He walks over to Princess Luna and motions for her to follow him to the balcony.
3109609
True enough. It just sounded odd.
And the scene with Luna was worth it.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Are we sure there is no Chrysalis present?
Anyway, it's just after Celestia allows Shining to talk briefly with Luna on the balcony.
3109644 Funny. Haha. Fuck you.
Oh great the issue deepens further with misunderstanding yet again.
3109720
All jokes aside, this is getting crazier and crazier, and awesomer and awemoser. I am looking forward to the next chapter.
You have no idea how much you made my day, thanks for posting this and sorry about whatever crazy shit happened to you. Thanks for posting, really great plot and worldbuilding, love every minute. TL:DR Love it can't wait for more.
Now you return, more powerful than before.
3109782 3109845 3109921
So much thank yous kind sirs for such warm words of encouragement! Such things are the thing that really makes writing worthwhile! Not the critique, not the insightful commentary, not even the guessing games on future events or assessments of character personalisations and continuity. No, my dear readers, you three embody the reason why I get up in the morning and look at my computer and the open documents, saying "Gee, I just wish I had more empty well-wishes so I could just keep on writing!"
Thank you. THANK! YOU!
3109991
troll.me/images/futurama-fry/cant-tell-if-sarcasm-or-legitimate-compliment.jpg
3110036 Issy loves us and would be floored without us. We must pour our empty well-wishes onto them like a tide that is made out of tides.
th06.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2012/316/5/7/spike_stained_glass_by_sooyou-d5krgzk.png
Uh . . . no you didn't! Way to act selfish Cadence and take all the credit for something Spike did!
Yessssssssssssss....
I missed this.
3110144 She saved the useless little dragon who was only acting on Twilight's orders. He's a pet, after all. Then Cadance put the Crystal Heart back to its place, killed Sombra, and saved the kingdom.
Spike might have guts, but Cady has PR.
3110317 But it was Spike who brought the Crystal Heart and ultimately played a very important role in saving the Crystal Empire. So both saved the day in all honesty.
3109991 I legitimately enjoy the story, you don't have to be a dick.
Oh ho! Sooo happy to see this update!
I honestly didn't think Shining could break anymore than he has. That was proven wrong rather quickly.
Of course this chapter shows us the true victims in this tragedy: Diamond Dogs.
Those poor, poor Diamond Dogs. They just want a new home...and perhaps ponies made of gemstone. Obviously the negotiations did not go well due to Cadance's stress over matters of the home. Thanks Shining Armor! Can no one think of the children?
Luna has been awesome this whole story and this chapter cranked it up a notch.
Sorry to hear that editing is making more work than necessary.
I don't think there's going to be any residual magic, it's just Shining armour being that messed up. It's going to hurt to find that out though, there's no easy way out.
I like your depiction of Luna, I think she should be talking to Ms Swallow's as well. It's cute how desperate she is to be able to do something and for people to like her but sad at the same time.
3110815well, it's not really your descision now, is it?
3110815
I think he's grasping for straws as well. If someone were to manipulate me like through a lover like Chrysalis did, I'd have trust issues just as bad as Shining, and it wouldn't take magic to keep the trust issues strong.
Honestly, I'm not sure if I'd ever fully recover from it. I think there'd always be hesitation on my part, and I'd never fully open up again. If the story branches towards a point where Shining fully recovers with no remaining scars, I think it'd be doing the story injustice.
You are a horrible person, and I hope you die in a vat of itching powder.
Jerk
3109609
mmmmm, lemons...
Excellent stuff as always, but if I could make a suggestion? Don't kill yourself over this stuff. It's good, really good, but as with any art, it suffers when you're not enjoying it.
I just hate seeing people with talent burn themselves out by putting undue pressure on themselves because of other people's demands. And I totally understand having to deal with the mad scramble of switching up your support staff, it sucks.
Basically, keep your chin up and try to enjoy what you do, because you do it damn well.
3109991
That little Twily icon facehoofing looks like a mini version of you!
Those writer feels.
If it's any consolation, I didn't see a single error or misspelling.
I wouldn't be surprised if Cadance develops (or has already developed) a creeping, irrational suspicion that her husband has an affair with her Auntie Luna. He's gotten so close to Luna, he went to Luna to find help instead of her (she came to his rescue, guns blazing!), and he wants to meet with Luna again (in the Garden!) for some arcane purpose that neither wants to tell her. Of course it'd be paranoid, and I'm certain, on some level, she'd even be aware of that- but keep in mind that Cadance is just as messed up as Shining Armor is.
Nevermind that this must be one of her worst fears: to lose everything once again, from her identity to the love of her life- not through the actions of an impostor this time, but by being mistaken for the impostor. That's the stuff that nightmares are made of.
3114407 Meh. She's just left in the dark about the whole thing because her hubby wants to keep secrets from him and would rather tell them to a mare he has met and talked with for maybe five times? Let alone her being a princess, more accepting of his lifestyle, understanding, powerful. Good thing she hasn't suspected him of cheating on her before and even told it to his face. And now they're meeting in the middle of the night in Luna's personal happy place to look at the moon together after being called names by that same mare.
Nah. There's no ways Cady would find any of this a problem. After all, Celestia told her it's k.
This story is epic and covers difficult, interesting subject matter. I haven't seen any fic follow or even come close to this approach and you have something you need to be really proud of. I know editors are put on this earth to make writers suffer, and trust me, it's always a love/hate thing and there are ALWAYS miss-communications and screw-ups, no matter how hard everyone involved tries to avoid them.
If you feel like you're dealing with too much, pick your favorite editor and fire the other, simplify, and accept that you might miss some things mistakes now and again. I think you have an established readership by now and we aren't going to run for the hills over the occasional type-o. Take breaks when you need them, don't worry about deadlines, and just do what you can when you can. I for one will be perfectly happy with an update every month or two, if that's how long it takes to produce something of high quality.
You have an amazing talent, and the fact that you are using it here, to create this, happens to make me and a lot of your fellow bronies very happy indeed. Keep that in mind when you feel stressed out: we're all here, looking forward to the next chapter and wishing you the very best.
311678
Truer words have not been spoken before or since.
The writer must know the butthurt was worth it, so that he could produce this labor of love.
You can almost taste the pain.
3111677 Hopefully he can move past it. To be permanently scarred like that for the rest of his life would just flat out suck. I know you don't want him to fully recover but he should at least recover to the point where he and his wife can be happy together.
No clop I is sad.
But interesting twist. Edit faster ploz.
3118656
This is not a clop story.
It was not a twist as much as a plot-hole.
Fuck you.
It is super weird reading this and Liquid Pride at the same time. One story has luna and shining as best friends and the other portraits Luna as a variable rapist.
Very conflicting.
3119724 I would very much appreciate if you did not compare the two fics. Shakespearicles writes funny stuff, but his quality is really abhorrent, as are most of his jokes, which are almost all ripped from other brony artists. At least he acknowledges them and links to them directly. It's mostly just a collection of 'pop' culture references to make his stories fun. LP has also taken some very dark turns lately, including turning Luna into a shape-shifting rapists (which I'm betting is actually Chryssie, but we'll see).
I'm not trying to bash his stories. They are funny and have made me guffaw a few times. They are also so surreal that most of the time the reader can't even be sure what has happened and what hasn't, which is sometimes a good way of tricking the reader, but not when he does it all the time in every chapter. His stories also lack any sort of coherence in narrative or perspective, switching from 3rd person omni to limited to first person to Celestia knows what else.
So... two different worlds.
This must be a REALLY rough week for Cadence
Her husband tells her that he's afraid of her, a diamond dog "dignitary", seemingly random assault by her aunt-that-used-to-be-the-thing-of-nightmares, and the impending couple therapy session.
$20 says there is no left over magic affecting him but rather just psychological scarring from Queen cheese legs' mind-rape spell.
Because casting dis-spell on his cranium would be too easy (as you would say in the comments)
Something to help cheer you up Issues:
3121919 Humm... should it be a 'dog-nitary'? With a strict diplomatic dog-ma? We're on the verge of new fanon here mares and gentlecolts! Or at least some very bad puns...
Oh... yay... some 3D PIG DISGUSTING ponies in my beautiful 2D world. 2D > 3D! Also waifus and stuff.
3122786
Hahahaha!
I am completely for including "dog-nitary" into our collective brony vocabulary.
We should also get on the horn with the Pound Puppies adult fandom and give them the wonderful gift of useable puns!
3122794 Added that into the latest chapter because it was so bad. Thanks!
I'm so happy to see another chapter
this story is getting better and better... the whole Luna incident and the almost mental break of shining trying to just write a letter was priceless
But if I can send you my opinion: This is a fanfic, not a book that you have to send to editors and etc... you need to relax a little or else you will end up like Shining Armor... And no, I'm not talking about the crazy part... if you know what I mean...
3123305
Don't good writers put something of themselves into their books?
When does the abyss start typing my life story in its black letters on my soul?
How much madness do I write until I realize it was my own broken mind trying to mend it self?
Are all the events of CIAM parts of my life that I'm trying to figure out?
Is the confusion and fear Shining Armor feels the same as my own from being alone so long?
Are all the male characters just metaphors of my own confused gender identity, while all the strong female characters are the multitudes of ways in which I don't understand women?
Are my erectile dysfunction and long-term psychiatric issues the seed for all this bile and darkness in the story?
Can I do it justice and actually write a happy ending to it, even if my own life doesn't lead that way?
I don't know.
3122963
Glad to help!
3122786
Eh, true that the 3D Garry's Mod pony models can look a bit off and make all of them look like that they are all wearing lipstick at certain angles, but combining ponies and "Its always sunny in Philadelphia" is pretty... funny...
I can totally see someone doing a longer You Tube series called "Its always sunny in Fillydelphia" where they directly remake each episode but with ponies. Either with original animation or Garry Mod.
The one I posted in the comments was made with chunks from different episodes, so close but no cigar.
3123679
this was the most poetic and beautiful way to confess that you can't get laid because you have a erectile dysfunction
3123679
You may need therapy. or maybe just some testosterone supplements. I hear they work well for males with sexual issues whether psychological or physical. That may or may not have just sounded like a "low-t" marketing line. Still, it couldn't hurt to try semi-natural hormone treaments or something if that's your issue.
3109606 I meant realistic in the sense that the characters are thinking and acting more like an organic part of the story, rather than just character molds responding to various plot devices. it reads as a more realistic account of the after effects of something like a changeling invasion on the individual characters. it'sacompliment, not sarcasm :)