[old]If anyone desires to see the original cover image to this story with Twilight soaking in a big puddle of pee please click here. (I self censored it as a courtesy to people browsing the mature section who don't think pony pee is delicious)[old]
122964>>122965>>122966>>122967>>122968 Please fellow brony, don't go spamming other people's stories simply because the content doesn't suit your personal likes. My story is hidden under the mature filter and the title of the piece obliquely states what the content contained inside is. If you feel that my piece of fiction had literary issues please explain them in the comments. If you feel that my story deserves a low score, please provide some constructive criticism with your rating. I always feel that a low score with a detailed comment containing issues you have with the story are infinitely more helpful than a positive score. I simply write this story in order to improve my creative writing skills and appeal to my personal sexual desires. Just remember that we all have our personal likes and dislikes, if we kindle an atmosphere of respect and tolerance life will simply be better for all . edit: deleted your excess comments (I will not delete anybody's comments unless they are repeated spam)
The only other explanation I can think of for your comment is that through the emoticons you were trying to commentate throughout the story and you accidently pressed submit too many times. Here I'll interpret your comments for others: Hmm this story sounds way overdone. Yes spike we know you are too much of a child to get up on your own, you would think you would have grown up after all these years! Poor Twilight working so hard she has to stand in her own urine. HOW COULD YOU EMBARRASS FLUTTERSHY TWILIGHT? Poor twilight can't catch a break can she? Oh my Celestia she really is going to make him pee isnt she? you know thinking about dragon urine pushes me the wrong way, but man would I like to feel that purple mare's steamy liquid flowing down my throat. Spike y u no have sex with twilight? If youre not going to do anything to her give her some privacy for fuck's sakes! oh god Twilight I dont think that cucumber will slide in very easily. I came buckets.goddammit spike you are an idiot sometimes.
I would absolutely love to see some commentary on what is happening in the story in the comments, quoting certain scenes or sentances that you felt strongly about and giving a little insight would be nice. It would also be great if you pointed out anything you disliked about a chapter
123041 Ahh the curse of sexuality, it allows you to feign quality simply by appealing to certain parts of the human psyche. I'll try my best to keep my plot interesting and hopefully have some meaningful exchanges between characters .
122283 Excellent insight into the deep literary recesses of my work coming from the person who probably caused me to write this in the first place.
122856 T.W.I - Twilight's Watersports Inclination: My Little Pony pee porn will never be the same !
122332 I feel so sheltered from the world of vegetables, I seriously had to do a google image search to know what parsnip looked like. The factory farming of cash crops is completely killing off any variety in the diet of Americans . Anyway thanks for reading my fic .
122308 Funny story. Some guy posted a sarcastic comment about "piss freaks" on my edited picture of Fluttershy urinating on the floor and apparently "maretorrent" was part of his vernacular. Of course I adopted it because it sounded cool .
122430 Thanks =p. You know I never really know with comments like this if a person genuinely enjoys urine play or not. I would find it amazing if someone neutral or even grossed out by the idea of their favorite colorful sentient alien equines emitting torrents of bodily fluids on each other enjoyed reading my fic .
124099 It is going to focus on a more friendly relationship between Twi and Spike. Their friendly relationship will of course eventually involve sex though =p... The universe I feel I am crafting is more open about sexuality and feels that casual sex is alright between friends even if one is in a relationship. I have somepony else in mind for who I'm shipping Twilight with, you'll find out who it is when I post chapter two either later today or tommorow .
123544 And thank you good sir for commenting on my story.
124408 124411 Where did you get Rainbow or Pinkie from? I left some hints as to who it could be inside chapter one, you just had to make the connection. The first thing you have to do is take in the scene found on the cover and realize Twilight is profusely apologizing to a certain pony on it. While in chapter one you could have picked up on the sentance "the closest she got to a horniness of this magnitude was when she used her hoof to rub her privates while urinating on one of her friend’s socks." What does the title image show? Twilight is in tears, sitting in a puddle of urine with a wet sock next to her. Why would simply urinating on an object produce such a significant amount of libido? Maybe it was because that object belongs to a pony that Twilight has strong feelings toward, eh? Cheers
I guess I really don't know what to say. The writing and description is excellent, but pissing really isn't my thing. But the whole orgy idea Twilight had sounded pretty good actually, so maybe that will carry the wait for this story. Either way, you're a great writer and I encourage you to continue writing, even if it isn't quite my thing, or many others.
BEST. CLOPFIC. EVER.
"She was tasting her own maretorrent"
i.imgur.com/sYOOC.jpg
Interesting I must say.
This...this changes everything
[old]If anyone desires to see the original cover image to this story with Twilight soaking in a big puddle of pee please click here. (I self censored it as a courtesy to people browsing the mature section who don't think pony pee is delicious)[old]
122964>>122965>>122966>>122967>>122968 Please fellow brony, don't go spamming other people's stories simply because the content doesn't suit your personal likes. My story is hidden under the mature filter and the title of the piece obliquely states what the content contained inside is. If you feel that my piece of fiction had literary issues please explain them in the comments. If you feel that my story deserves a low score, please provide some constructive criticism with your rating. I always feel that a low score with a detailed comment containing issues you have with the story are infinitely more helpful than a positive score. I simply write this story in order to improve my creative writing skills and appeal to my personal sexual desires. Just remember that we all have our personal likes and dislikes, if we kindle an atmosphere of respect and tolerance life will simply be better for all . edit: deleted your excess comments (I will not delete anybody's comments unless they are repeated spam)
The only other explanation I can think of for your comment is that through the emoticons you were trying to commentate throughout the story and you accidently pressed submit too many times. Here I'll interpret your comments for others: Hmm this story sounds way overdone. Yes spike we know you are too much of a child to get up on your own, you would think you would have grown up after all these years! Poor Twilight working so hard she has to stand in her own urine. HOW COULD YOU EMBARRASS FLUTTERSHY TWILIGHT? Poor twilight can't catch a break can she? Oh my Celestia she really is going to make him pee isnt she? you know thinking about dragon urine pushes me the wrong way, but man would I like to feel that purple mare's steamy liquid flowing down my throat. Spike y u no have sex with twilight? If youre not going to do anything to her give her some privacy for fuck's sakes! oh god Twilight I dont think that cucumber will slide in very easily. I came buckets.goddammit spike you are an idiot sometimes.
I would absolutely love to see some commentary on what is happening in the story in the comments, quoting certain scenes or sentances that you felt strongly about and giving a little insight would be nice. It would also be great if you pointed out anything you disliked about a chapter
123041
Ahh the curse of sexuality, it allows you to feign quality simply by appealing to certain parts of the human psyche. I'll try my best to keep my plot interesting and hopefully have some meaningful exchanges between characters .
122283
Excellent insight into the deep literary recesses of my work coming from the person who probably caused me to write this in the first place.
122856
T.W.I - Twilight's Watersports Inclination: My Little Pony pee porn will never be the same !
122332
I feel so sheltered from the world of vegetables, I seriously had to do a google image search to know what parsnip looked like. The factory farming of cash crops is completely killing off any variety in the diet of Americans . Anyway thanks for reading my fic .
122308
Funny story. Some guy posted a sarcastic comment about "piss freaks" on my edited picture of Fluttershy urinating on the floor and apparently "maretorrent" was part of his vernacular. Of course I adopted it because it sounded cool .
122430
Thanks =p. You know I never really know with comments like this if a person genuinely enjoys urine play or not. I would find it amazing if someone neutral or even grossed out by the idea of their favorite colorful sentient alien equines emitting torrents of bodily fluids on each other enjoyed reading my fic .
img.ponibooru.org/_images/98ad7dbb366be21d35c3a88211471305/43458%20-%20artist%3Aunknown%20hat%20monocle%20moustache%20quite%20rarity%20reaction_face.png
I have 2 say my good sir this is quite the story please keep up the good work
So is this going to turn into a Spike X Twilight ship fic?
124099 It is going to focus on a more friendly relationship between Twi and Spike. Their friendly relationship will of course eventually involve sex though =p... The universe I feel I am crafting is more open about sexuality and feels that casual sex is alright between friends even if one is in a relationship. I have somepony else in mind for who I'm shipping Twilight with, you'll find out who it is when I post chapter two either later today or tommorow .
123544
And thank you good sir for commenting on my story.
Is it Rainbow or Pinkie Pie?
124123 Is it Rainbow or Pinkie Pie?
124408
124411
Where did you get Rainbow or Pinkie from? I left some hints as to who it could be inside chapter one, you just had to make the connection. The first thing you have to do is take in the scene found on the cover and realize Twilight is profusely apologizing to a certain pony on it. While in chapter one you could have picked up on the sentance "the closest she got to a horniness of this magnitude was when she used her hoof to rub her privates while urinating on one of her friend’s socks." What does the title image show? Twilight is in tears, sitting in a puddle of urine with a wet sock next to her. Why would simply urinating on an object produce such a significant amount of libido? Maybe it was because that object belongs to a pony that Twilight has strong feelings toward, eh? Cheers
124703
img402.imageshack.us/img402/1857/mlfw1935132453195683.png
125123 I can tell who it is just from chapter 1 (haven't read chapter 2 yet).
I'm sorry, but I have to ask;
What so fascinating about piss?
I don't know what I'm reading, but I really, really, like it...
Is that a bad thing?
235460
Click here
I guess I really don't know what to say. The writing and description is excellent, but pissing really isn't my thing. But the whole orgy idea Twilight had sounded pretty good actually, so maybe that will carry the wait for this story. Either way, you're a great writer and I encourage you to continue writing, even if it isn't quite my thing, or many others.
This...this I can clop to...just from the first chapter
I...I don't...I...What I...don't...Huh?
Why the hell did I drink apple juice when I read this?
Oh no, the strange force is coming over me again! Next chapter!
When I read that Twilight was mixing her pee, Spike's pee, and her lady-nectar, I was like "FUCKIN' ALCHEMY."
You are a disgrace this is the worst thing I've ever read. actually this isn that bad, never mind forget what I just said
2278187
And then twilight saw The Gate, and The Truth.
She pissed on both of them.