The Cutie Mark Crusaders were walking in the street... or, to be precise, one of them. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo staggered as the scene they had witnessed left them speechless. Only Sweetie Belle walked normally, but she looked very confused.
"I want to unseen that," Scootaloo moaned.
"Me too. I'm never gonna look at Rarity or Thunderlane the same way again." Apple Bloom shivered.
"So, guys, what were they actually doing?" Sweetie Belle asked but received only confused looks from her friends. "Do you think other ponies do this too?"
"No way!" Apple Bloom shouted.
"I hope not," Scootaloo whispered, still clearly horrified.
"Something fishy’s going on here, guys, and I’ve got a weird hunch it might be connected with those pills." Sweetie Belle said angrily. "My sister bought them and now we saw her doing whatever she was doing. Plus, Applejack is covering her!"
"How's that?" Apple Bloom asked with a puzzled look across her face.
"Don't you think Applejack was pretty nervous when we asked her about these pills?" Sweetie Belle questioned, shooting Apple Bloom a curious look.
"Yeah," Apple Bloom frowned. "If Ah think of it now, she stammered ‘n she looked around all the time." She gasped. "Mah sister was lyin' to us! How could she do such a thing?"
"We need somepony to explain everything to us, and I know just the right pony!" Sweetie Belle said confidently and hurried off. After quickly exchanging glances, the other fillies followed suit.
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The Cutie Mark Crusaders had ended up at Twilight’s library… which was simultaneously her house. Sweetie Belle knocked on the door almost viciously, which was quickly answered by a confused librarian.
“Oh, hi, girls. How can I help you?” Twilight asked.
"Do you know what these are for?" Sweetie Belle asked, showing the pills to the lavender unicorn.
"Um, contraceptive pills?" Twilight frowned, running the word through her mind. Finding no answer to the question, she responded, "I have no idea, but I’ll take a look around. I think I had a book with a similar title."
She started to look shelf-to-shelf for anything similar, while Scootaloo and Apple Bloom observed her. Sweetie Belle, on the other hoof, noticed a few books stashed behind a nearby desk.
"Hm..." the curious little unicorn decided to check them out. "Hey girls," she whispered to Scootaloo and Apple Bloom, "Let’s check those out." She pointed with a hoof, so Scootaloo and Apple Bloom came over. They snuck over to the desk silently and began sorting through the hidden books.
"Girls! I found it! There must be something in 'Contraception for Everypony'." Twilight exclaimed and started to search through the pages. Seemingly satisfied in her find, she closed the book and turned back to… an empty floor. Where had the Cutie Mark Crusaders gone?
Back behind the desk, Scootaloo read aloud, "’Everything You Wanted to Know About Bucking But Were Afraid to Ask.’ Now THAT sounds like the answer to all our questions!"
Twilight saw the fillies crowded behind the desk, so she walked up to them curiously. "Girls, what are you doing? Did you find something?"
"That picture looks like Rarity and Thunderlane!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed, pointing to an image in the book. The other two fillies appeared to start suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, which resulted in Scootaloo fainting and Apple Bloom vomiting.
"AAAAAAH!!!" Twilight shouted in horror, hurriedly swiping the book away from Sweetie Belle with her magic, "How did you girls find this!? You can't read that. Even I can't read that Well, I can, but I shouldn't!” She enveloped the three fillies with her lavender aura and moved them directionally away from the table. She then took the book and threw it out the window.
Spike was outside and shouted as he saw the book falling on the ground, "Twilight!? What's going on!?"
"DO AWAY WITH THAT BOOK!" Twilight shouted back, her hair beginning to frizz.
"Buh… what!?"
"BURN IT!"
"Alright," Spike accepted the order, picked the book up and engulfed it in flames. "Oh, wait…" he realized that, by breathing his magic fire on it, he had accidentally sent the book to Princess Celestia in Canterlot. Twilight is SO not going to let me hear the end of this one… he thought to himself, weighing his options, then scurrying off to somewhere else in Ponyville.
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Meanwhile, at Canterlot, Princess Luna and Princess Celestia were playing the noble game of chess. Princess Luna was in control of the black pieces, while Princess Celestia had the white pieces. It was clear that Princess Luna was losing… badly.
"We do not enjoy this game anymore," Luna stated flatly.
"Oh, you say that because you can't beat me," Celestia remarked, attempting to hide a snide grin.
Suddenly, a book, which materialized right in front of Princess Celestia, appeared over the chessboard and fell on it. A few pawns broke, along with the chessboard itself.
"Hah! That's a draw, sister!" Luna exclaimed and started a victory dance while Celestia was gazing at the title of the book.
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"Why did you throw it away? There were answers for our questions!" Scootaloo groaned, leering at Twilight.
"You girls are too young to read that. There will come a time for that, but it certainly isn’t now. Now that we got that out of the way, let’s get back to your question about the contraceptive pills," Twilight said, happily beginning to search through the book she located earlier. "Ah, here we go! The contraceptive pills are..." Twilight began reading aloud but slowly faded to quiet murmur. After a while her cheeks started to turn a bright shade of red.
"So?" Apple Bloom was showing her impatience.
"Nothing. Nothing here! Not the thing you’re looking for." Twilight said nervously, throwing the book out the window.
"Twilight!" Spike shouted from outside, clearly annoyed, "What's with these books?"
"Crusaders, let's go out and get the book!" Scootaloo commanded and the three fillies trotted outside.
"BURN IT! BURN IT!" Twilight was terrifyed of the possibility that innocent kids would read such a book.
"But..." Spike tried to argue.
"BURN. THE. BOOK!" Twilight shrieked out the window.
"Alright." Spike sighed. He shortly engulfed the book in flames, sending it to the Princess.
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Meanwhile, at Canterlot Royal Castle…
Princesses Celestia and Luna were gazing at the book sent by Twilight.
"I am unsure what to think of this." Celestia was confused.
Suddenly, 'Contraception for Everypony' appeared over the already broken chessboard and stacked on the first book.
"That is… unusual." Celestia said.
"We think that thine student wishes to tell you something," Luna remarked.
An awkward silence hung in the air.
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"Spike, how could you do that!?" Apple Bloom shouted angrily at Spike.
"Sorry, guys. I have to do what Twilight asks me to," Spike explained, turning to go into the library. He opened the door and stepped inside, then slammed it loudly.
"Stupid lizard!" Apple Bloom shouted angrily.
"I heard that!" Spike retorted through the door.
"Well guys, at least we know what bucking is," Sweetie Belle tried to comfort her upset friends.
"Yeah, but we don't know what it’s for," said Scootaloo, placing a hoof on her chin in curiosity.
"And, what's worse, it looks like all the ponies do that… ugh!" Apple Bloom said, shivering in disgust.
"Why don’t they want us to know?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"Maybe because it's disgusting?" Scootaloo said.
"Yeah, but I still wanna know." Sweetie Belle folded her forelegs and frowned.
"What’cha wanna know?" Pinkie Pie said, suddenly standing behind the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
"Oh, hi Pinkie," Apple Bloom greeted the party pony with a firm hoof shake, "Nopony wanted to tell us what bucking is, and now we know but we don't know why ponies do that."
"Oh, silly, that's simple as pie!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, throwing her hooves up for emphasis.
"Will you tell us?" Scootaloo asked, face brightening. She stared at Pinkie expectantly.
"Sure! I can sing a song..." Pinkie began, stepping up on sta- wait, where did that stage come from?
"No, no, no, no!" The three fillies tried to discourage Pinkie from singing, all waving their hooves in a frenzy, attempting to halt her.
"Okie dokie loki, I’ll just tell you then.” She cleared her throat, “So, when one pony loves another pony, they buck! That's simple as that!" Pinkie said happily.
"Love?" The fillies were taken aback by Pinkie's explanation.
"Yeah. That's why love is so cool!" she explained, giggling audibly.
"Pinkie, do you, um, y’know… buck a lot?" Scootaloo inquired.
"Of course I do. I do a LOT of bucking!" Pinkie answered questions oblivious to potential harm that could be done to the minds of innocent fillies. I mean, seriously. Would you expect her to realize what she was saying in the first place?
"So, you love somepony?" Apple Bloom nudged Pinkie, looking up at her with a grin.
"No, silly! I do this for fun!" the fillies recoiled slightly, not expecting such an answer.
"For fun?" Scootaloo asked, looking up at Pinkie curiously.
"I can always find someone to buck at my parties! Well, girls, sorry, but I gotta go buy some things for my party tonight!" Pinkie excused herself and jumped away. Literally. She bounced away.
"Love is disgusting..." Scootaloo remarked.
"Shure is…" Apple Bloom agreed with a nod.
"Hm..." Sweetie Belle wondered. "Girls!" she shouted excitedly. "Do you know what that means!?"
"No?" answered the orange pegasus.
"That means that Rarity and Thunderlane are in love!"
The other fillies gave Sweetie Belle blank looks.
"Gotta ask Rarity when they're gonna get married!" she exclaimed and trotted to her house.
"She's pretty optimistic, isn't she?" Scootaloo asked.
"Eeyup," Apple Bloom answered.
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Meanwhile, at Thunderlane's home…
"That was something, Thundie. I had better, but that’s not bad for such a young stallion," Rarity said indifferently.
"Oh, thank you," he answered, pretty abashed.
"All right, I will be going home. It was a nice afternoon, really. If you will get bored with Cloudchaser, let me know. Bye!" Rarity said and went outside.
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When Rarity returned home, Sweetie Belle was awaiting her.
"Rarity! I know what you were doing!" the younger sister exclaimed.
"Whatever do you mean, Sweetie!?" Rarity was startled by her sister.
"I've seen what you and Thunderlane were doing!"
"WHAT!?" Rarity shouted in terror.
"Yeah! You and Thunderlane were bucking! Pinkie said that means that ponies are in love."
"Um, Sweetie, it's not exactly this way..." Rarity struggled to find a suitable answer. She would never expect that her sister, that anypony would know.
"No?" Sweetie Belle saddened. "So you do this for fun?"
Rarity laughed nervously trying to find a good answer. It was hard time for her. She could easily manipulate any male pony into nearly anything but her charm could do nothing against her little sister. To be honest, the situation was exceptionally awkward.
Thankfully, Rarity was quite lucky as at the very moment Twilight stormed into her house.
"Rarity! We need to talk!" Twilight shouted. "Oh, Sweetie Belle. You're already here."
Scootaloo and Apple Bloom went in after Twilight. "I think you all should tell us something!" the orange Pegasus was angry.
"No, you shouldn't know that. Not yet!" Twilight exclaimed nervously.
"Twilight, quickly, cast the reverted memory spell!" Rarity finally found a way out of the situation. "They won't remember anything!"
"Okay..."
Twilight concentrated her magic and before Cutie Mark Crusaders could actually react, they were struck by the spell. "I hope I've done it right." Twilight looked at three staggering fillies.
"Sweetie Belle. Are you all right?" Rarity asked her sister.
"Yeah, I guess so. Oh, Rarity. I wanted to ask you about something. Could you tell me what are those pills for?" Sweetie Belle gained her consciousness back and showed her sister the box of pills. Sweetie didn't know what they were because her memory was cleared to the moment of finding them.
"My pills? How did you get them!?" Rarity trotted up to the chest of drawers and opened it. "They weren't there!? I took... vitamin A!? This means I did it without.... AAAAAAAAH!!!" she shrieked, nearly fainting.
"Rarity?" Twilight was worried about her friend.
"Gotta buy after-bucking pills!" Rarity shouted and galloped outside.
"I don't get it" Sweetie Belle was confused.
"So, girls... Do you want some ice cream?" Twilight asked.
"Yay!" the fillies agreed on the proposition.
Innocent fillies are innocent, Twilight thought, smiling.
THE END
Rarity and Twilight were sitting at the table outside a café. Several passing stallions tried some cheesy pick-up lines and some tried to be at least seen by her.
"You simply cannot trust young stallions these days," Rarity said angrily.
"Hm?"
"Thunderlane bragged about our little date. His friends told their friends and now everypony in Ponyville thinks I am one of those easy mares," Rarity said sadly.
"Maybe you should write a letter to Princess Celestia about that?" Twilight giggled and put some parchment and ink in front of her friend, who frowned upon seeing this.
"Hey, Rarity! You've got a beautiful mane today," Caramel complimented Rarity.
"I always have a beautiful mane," she answered nonchalantly. Caramel shrugged and went away.
"I'm not that easy..." Rarity drank another glass of wine, looking at Caramel, who was slowly walking away. "Oh, whatever. Write the letter for me," she said and trotted after Caramel. "Carameeeel!" she said seductively as she caught up with him.
Poof! The second chapter is here!
If you care, let me know in the comments what you think of the story.
(and do me a favor - if you like the story and haven't upvoted it yet, please do if you are okay with that.)
I hope you enjoyed this story
I laughed whilst simultaneously turning every shade of red in the color spectrum visible to the human eye, and at least three that aren't.
Good stuff. Take ALL MY MUSTACHES NOW!!!!
Pinkie likes to buck all the time
Rarity really should have noticed that the pills weren't in the wheel thing.
1476765
On Celestia's Beard!
Pinkie Pie you idiot, you're not suppose to tell little fillies what bucking is, didn't your parents or the Cakes ever teach you about bucking and when you should and should not do it?! //
1476807
Actually, her parents are Amish, so... I doubt they taught her about this.
And the Cakes, well, they are her employers, so, they avoid such subjects I think
1476823 Well why wouldn't the Cakes explain it to her, after all where else does she think Pound and Pumpkin Cake came from (even though I'm afraid of the answer)?
1476789 Well this is Louis we're talking about.
1479196
The Cakes hope she knows.
But Pinkie has her own theory about this.
Very enjoyable fic. It was more hilarious than I thought it would be
1479444 Well exactly what would make Amish parents believe that they shouldn't teach their kids about the birds and the bees, and futhermore the Cakes don't strike me as ones to assume and I would have thought they would have explained once Mrs. Cake was pregnant.
1480495
Mr. Cake: "Pinkie, my wife and I are expecting a foal."
Pinkie: "Ohmygosh, how it happened!"
Mr. Cake: "Magic of love, Pinkie."
Pinkie <puzzled look> Oh, I get it! (thinks: it's some kind of spell, right?)
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And Pinkie doesn't understand sarcasm or metaphores. She could have understood her parents' explanations too literally
1480547 What could they have said that could be taken literally, considering how down to earth they appeared to be I don't think they would be capable of using metaphores.
And I doubt they were sarcastic towards her, if anything they always told her exactly what they thought of her and most of the time it was probably not positive.
Well, that escalated quickly. But what's up with Pinkie? And I'm sorry, but I don't remember Caramel from the cartoon, was in an episode? I usually have a bad memory when it comes to these things, so..yeah. Take all of my crazed Pinkies now.
1481597
He appeared at least twice.
He was in the Best Night Ever - he pulled their cart along with Lucky.
He also was in Winter Wrap-Up - Applejack said there something like "Caramel lost the grass seed again, didn't he?"
He is absolutely canon :)
Love the pinkie pie part its true she wouldnt, very well done, love it!
Definetly favouriting this!
You can listen to this fanfic on YT!
I don't really appreciate you making Rarity into a "mare of the evening"
1494898
Oh, well. Somepony had to.
At least, she had some fun
Don't worry, it's just a comedy
1494926
I know.
I still gave you an upvote.
But still
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=6vwNcNOTVzY]
1494963
thanks!
1494987
THOU ART WELCOME!
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRLbyosW0l_FoMyMDTRXdnrXs9oqN6COGix4uvb22hExku6WvFo
What the actual buck did I just read?
Meh, no matter!
It was hell-arious!
Fave and upvote for you, my friend!
Yay! the young ones have been cleansed!
Who knows what could have happened if their young minds were... "plucked" before they were ripe as it were.
They might end up doing something like always wanting activity and noise to keep themselves distracted possibly even then becoming victim to random outbursts just to keep themselves from face their tainted realities.... actually now that I think about it that may explain some
I think that it's the letter from Celestia that Twilight should be worried about, let alone Shining Armour interrogating every stallion in Ponyville to determine who is doing the nasty with his baby sister.
1466587 That would spell disaster, luckly for her she DIDN'T get pregnant.
1473822 How the heck did you find them in the first place, futhermore how old was your sister if I might ask? (If she was still a teenager and she was taking those than I sure hope your parents approved what she needed them for.)
i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/10/16/5iEn4EcSJEKGSNy0Yz4NZw2.gif
By the gods that was Funny! Ohh damn. Starting to think it was Sweetie Belle's Proximity to Discord that freed him by funneling much needed Chaos to finally break the enchantment.
I'm ok with playing a character outside of their canon slightly, but i still think Rarity would hold her standing higher than some fun, especially after she had a close call of the large kind. But that's just my opinion.
This was freaking Hilarious and the CMC's acted as they should have to a T.
Upvote of course!
Great job! Thanks for the read!
1602329
Thank you I'm happy you liked it!
...01:30 already? <buy sum applz>
Twilight trolls Molestia!
Too funny. My only problem: Pinkie isn't a slut. She's a grown, responsible mare who acts after she's considered the consequences. I just can't see her doing that. <shrug>
Back to the cheers: Vitamin A!
1739450>>1739519
Thank you
And about Pinkie being a slut - in my opinion, she fits the role perfectly - you know, all this "party" and "fun"... Or, at least she makes a more believable "slut" than other characters from the show would ever do
1745705
Maybe it's just me but when I ship characters together I try to have real love involved. It seems like I'm taking away a little of their innocence <Pinkie shrug>.
I guess if one of the mane 6 is a slut yeah it would be her. And Carrot Top for the other Mane 6.
Awesome, I love it.
It was a great way to traumatize the CMC and maintain their innocence all at the same time, bravo!!
Also I really liked the great reaction Rarity gave when she found out what she took.
Good job
Funny, but I have to admit the ending irked me. The ethical problems with so nonchalantly tampering with someone's mind without their consent aside, the "memory-erasing magic spell" trope is only slightly above the "all just a dream" trope on the lazily-restoring-status-quo totem pole.
Not going to lie, that was kind of creepy. Than again, I did read the whole thing. So what does that say about me?
I hope that Rarity and Applejack both get pregnant. Serves them both right. It's punishment for fucking and also trying to hide what you are really doing from apparently innocent fillies....because there is no such thing as innocence in my world.
Seriously, if Rarity and Applejack just horsed up and tell them that Rarity was having sex with Thunderlane, and Applejack was having sex with Caramel, I honestly think things would have been easier. The CMCs are gonna learn that from Ms. Cheerilee in health class at some point anyway. Frankly, I would rather have a family member than a teacher, but get the facts straight. Plus, they are kids, even if you tell them exactly what's happening, they won't understand for real until they know.
I learned about sex and babies at 10. It never bothered me. Personally it is never too young to learn about this kind of thing. Stop being such puritans about it, because the more you try to stay away from it, the more you are gonna confuse the kids, and the kids are eventually going to figure it out, and they are gonna get the wrong info.
Good story, but bad end. Seriously, mindbleach that's a low hit Twi.
I wonder how Twilight managed to explain the princesses about the accidentally sent books.
At least we know that Rarity gets plenty of vitamin A and D.
Honestly, the second chapter is a bit of a disappointment. I was expecting either something with a bit more bag of comedy than just that anticlimax of an ending by erasing the CMC's memories (given we didn't even wrap up Celestia and Luna's POV, which could have been hilarious), or a sudden shift into a dramatic ending.
I imagine Twilight Sparkle will be confused when she gets books on baby rearing for her next birthday from the Princesses, in any case.