The story is good, but you jump to the sex a bit fast and the spelling errors. Twilight would not be happy with you if she saw how many were in this story. Other than that it's pretty good. Keep up the god work.
1442527 chapter 1 clop 7.5/10 of that being said chapter 4 clop 8.5/10 of not bad for a start if thats what your aiming for. I've read clops fics that where ranging form 0 to 10 of and I've read over about at least 54 clop fics( what i keep in my clop file). and have a very good idea what makes a clop fix good..... chapter 1 clop was better after the rewrite much better
1442971 As I have said before, my normal writing-doodles are very short vignettes. The last thing I wrote that was over 2,00 words was for a ISO 9000 program. This is not only my first attempt at putting down a story, it's also my first adventure in writing erotica.
1442527 I would be perfectly okay wiith being one of your editors if you like. If you're not sure about something to do with grammar I can help you with that. Btw ignore the rest of thi comment I'm testing something
1442527 I would be perfectly okay wiith being one of your editors if you like. If you're not sure about something to do with grammar I can help you with that. Btw ignore the rest of this comment I'm testing something 1445731 My test is a success
I loved it all I'm happy that they are all so excepting of Rainbow dash and Big Mac relationship .And can't wait to see what happens between them and what happens next to them.
Ch1 got a MAJOR overhaul. Just posted Ch4.
1439410 good i thought the sex scene in chapter 1 was a little lacking... if you know what i mean.... but keep up the good work
The story is good, but you jump to the sex a bit fast and the spelling errors. Twilight would not be happy with you if she saw how many were in this story. Other than that it's pretty good. Keep up the god work.
1441049 My spelling is atrocious. If it was not for spell check I would be helpless. I'll preen my spelling again.
" Keep up the god work." I shall
1439683 How do you feel about the re-wright?
1442527 chapter 1 clop 7.5/10 of that being said chapter 4 clop 8.5/10 of not bad for a start if thats what your aiming for.
I've read clops fics that where ranging form 0 to 10 of and I've read over about at least 54 clop fics( what i keep in my clop file). and have a very good idea what makes a clop fix good..... chapter 1 clop was better after the rewrite much better
1442971 As I have said before, my normal writing-doodles are very short vignettes. The last thing I wrote that was over 2,00 words was for a ISO 9000 program. This is not only my first attempt at putting down a story, it's also my first adventure in writing erotica.
Thanks for the feedback, it really helps.
1442527 I would be perfectly okay wiith being one of your editors if you like. If you're not sure about something to do with grammar I can help you with that.
Btw ignore the rest of thi comment I'm testing something
1442527 I would be perfectly okay wiith being one of your editors if you like. If you're not sure about something to do with grammar I can help you with that.
Btw ignore the rest of this comment I'm testing something 1445731
My test is a success
I loved it all I'm happy that they are all so excepting of Rainbow dash and Big Mac relationship .And can't wait to see what happens between them and what happens next to them.