The Best Night Ever
The Best Night Ever
As she looked into the mirror, Dash sighed. What she saw just didn't feel right. Rarity had convinced her that she needed to look fashionable tonight, but this was a bit much. Her multicolored mane was braided into a ponytail tied together with a brooch at the bottom. The small item glimmered with tiny stones of different colors, in the middle of it sat a bright red heart shaped gem embedded with delicate golden letters reading ‘Blue Feather’. She stared at the brooch, she hadn’t put much thought to it, but Rarity had insisted that she ‘simply had’ to wear the brooch along with her dress.
Dash smirked; what was it Rarity had said? Something along the lines of: ‘You must wear it, the one who gave it to you might very well be at the gala. It would be the worst thing if you did not wear it and he showed up.’
She adjusted it uncomfortably as she remembered how Twilight had taken a light hearted jab at her for her tom-colt attitude. The purple mare had smirked while she nudged Dash in the sides. ‘Now Rarity, keep an open mind, it might just be that the secret admirer is a mare.’ It’s not that she minded the lighthearted humor they had between them, she felt quite the opposite really, she welcomed it.
Dash turned to the side looking at her dress as the rainbow colored gown slid behind her, ending in details looking like clouds. She shook her hoof and looked at the golden hoof-wear tied up her leg, it was comfortable to wear. She wiggled her flank around and adjusted her golden leaf like crown, she had to admit, Rarity had done a good job with this dress. The cyan mare’s cheeks got a faint shade of red, it was hard for her to say, but in this getup she felt... pretty.
While looking in the mirror she saw pearl white light striking the floor through a window, illuminating bigger parts of the room. Next to the mirror on a small table, stood a candle which flickered in a soothing orange glow, gently kissing her cheeks with warmth.
She turned her head towards the window, she heard the girls outside, chatting over how great this night would be, the best night ever. Dash took a last look in the mirror, Rarity had puffed up her face with mascara, she felt a bit uncomfortable by it, but as Rarity said: ‘Darling! It brings out your beautiful eyes, you must stop denying yourself this. Even an athlete like you needs to feel pretty sometimes.’ Rarity was probably right when it came to this, but Dash couldn't help feeling strange as she looked at herself, it wasn’t her, but for some reason it felt entirely comfortable.
She shook her head as she started to make her way out; Dash stopped as she reached the nightstand next to her bed. On it lay a small locket the brooch had arrived in, it shone greatly considering the dim light that was in the room. Dash tilted her head, her eyebrows cocked up as she stared at the engravings. On the top, her cutie mark had been engraved with great detail. Looking at the sides, one could read delicate letters spelling a verse ‘When the heart makes a promise the mind has to keep, it leaves only truth to find. When a spirit is crushed, making scars so deep, will love bloom again between you and I?’
Dash didn’t get into much thought about it, after all, she was awesome, she was bound to have a secret admirer somewhere. Though Twilight, the egg-head she is, just had to point out that the inscription mentioned ‘again’. And of course it was followed by a lot of questions from the others, like who was she with before, did she crush somepony's heart in the past...
Dash snorted, she wasn’t the kind of mare to forget her companions. The only one who didn’t ask any questions was Twilight, she just stood in the back and stared at the locket, before she eventually turned her light violet eyes at Dash as she pressed forth a shallow smile.
She stroked her hoof over the locket, feeling the details of the engravings. She had to admit, she was curious, how could she not be? Somepony had made a huge effort in creating this locket and brooch, just for her. Retracting her hoof, she felt an uneasy void growing in her stomach as she wondered if she would meet the sender tonight.
The door creaked as Dash made her way out, she walked through the hallway draped in a dim lustrous light. She stopped before a window looking out at her friends, letting go of a chuckle as she spotted Rarity adjusting Fluttershy’s dress.
The white fashionista flew over every inch of Fluttershy, who stood frozen with a terrified look smeared over her face. Rarity shook her head in a melodramatic gesture as she adjusted the small leaf like hoof-wear, nodding quickly, she moved over to the green gown. Lastly she jumped up in front of the yellow mare and fixed the blue butterfly brooches in place, she stared at it a little before letting go of a happy glee. Fluttershy’s cheeks tinted over to a faint shade of red before she slowly nodded towards Rarity.
Dash continued to make her way out, pushing the heavy wooden door open. Squinting as a bright light shone from a lamp right over the entrance; before she could gather her wits, she felt a warm embrace around her neck.
Her pupils dilated as she focused on Twilight standing in front of her with a warm smile. The bright illumination cast a glimmering shine to the light colored stars on the dark blue dress. Twilight lifted a hoof to her ear, adjusting her ear-star before she focused her eyes on Dash, standing in the light, her bright violet eyes glimmering in a brilliant luster.
Twilight ran a hoof across Dash’s braided mane as she smiled at her. “You look beautiful, Dash.”
Dash turned her head slightly away as her cheeks got a tint of red in them. “Thanks, Twi, you don’t look so bad yourself.”
Twilight stared at the brooch in Dash’s mane with empty eyes, she slowly nodded while distantly answering. “Thank you.”
Dash furrowed her eyebrows. “Something wrong?”
Twilight stood still for a while as she seemingly let the question sink in, she slowly shook her head. “No... I’m just wondering who sent you this delicate piece of jewelry.”
She sighed. “I’m as clueless as you.”
Twilight smiled, seemingly reassured by Dash’ statement, she looked up at the star filled sky. “Beautiful evening, isn't it?” She tilted her head down, facing Dash. “Come on, the others are probably waiting.”
Dash stood back a little as she watched her friend walk away; she smirked, thinking back on the recent year. Her and Twilight had become close lately as Dash’ interest for reading had increased. Twilight had happily shown her more books than she thought have possibly even existed in Equestria.
For the last half year or so, they’d had almost weekly meetings, or sleepovers as Twilight loved to call them. They had their own places in the library which was stacked up with books relevant to their interests, often sitting under a blanket while sipping on a hot beverage as they read.
One night though, when Twilight was feverish, she asked to sit under the blanket together with Dash. At first, she had felt uncomfortable in the situation, but the contact felt... good. She read aloud for her friend that night, until she fell asleep in her lap.
“You coming, Dash?”
Dash snapped out of her thoughts, staring right at Twilight, who stood there patiently smiling. “Y-yeah... sorry, got a bit lost in thoughts there.”
As they made their way to the rest of the group, Dash turned her head up, looking at the faint glimmer of the stars above. Twilight was right, it was a beautiful evening. She smiled as her eyes wandered across the landscape as they walked, fresh dew lay on top of the grass, making the dim light from the moon reflect off the ground, glistening softly as short gusts tufted the grass over to the side.
Scouting down the streets of Ponyville she spotted a few ponies walking between the street lights, either getting ready to close up for the day, or making the final preparations for a night of work. A small group of fireflies danced while their lights flickered in tact with their graceful movements, the little group of insects danced together with the reflection of the moon in the river that went outside of the town.
She felt a hoof softly patting her on the back. “You alright, Dashie?”
Dash blinked and stared into Applejack’s emerald green eyes. “Yeah, I’m just a bit absent-minded today.”
Applejack took a step back, her dress was the same as last time they were at the gala, green with dark and light brown details, finished with a fancy hat, apple brooches and buttons. A grin tugged itself over her face, putting great contrast between her light orange coat and her teeth. “You worried bout that brooch, arnt ya?” Playfully she nudged Dash in the side. “Ah’m sure no pony would think of standing you up on a date, you are after all... how y’all say it? Tha most awesome pegasus in the whole Equestria.”
Furrowing her eyebrows, she glared at Applejack. “It’s not that...” She halted her sentence as she swallowed hard and looked around at her friends. “It’s just that... I feel like I should remember something about the name on the brooch. I feel like I have heard it before... I just can’t place it.”
From behind Applejack, a pink mare jumped forth with a grin to challenge the sun. “O-o-oh! A guessing game!” As she landed, her pink dress draped behind her, the light blue and white details shone in contrast in the pale moonlight. Adorned with small buttons resembling different type of candy, complemented by pink hoof-wear and a big pink ribbon.
Pinkie Pie fluttered her eyelashes and took a deep breath. “It’s Caramel! The way he looked at you when the Flim Flam Brothers were here, it’s gotta be him!”
Dash placed her hoof on her forehead. “Pinkie... It’s no-”
“If it’s not Caramel, it must be that Wave Chill fellow!”
“Pinkie... it’s not tha-”
“Oh! I know! It must be Soa-”
“Pinkie!” Rarity stared at Pinkie Pie with an angry glare. “Who Rainbow Dash’ suitor is, is none of our business!”
Pinkie froze and looked at the white fashionista who stood in front of her in a light pink dress, embroidered with butter yellow lines in the ruffles of her gown. The opals covering it glimmered softly. The pink mare scraped the ground, before looking at Dash. “I’m sorry, Dash, I got a bit carried away.”
Dash let go of a long drawn sigh. “It’s alright, Pinkie, no harm no foul, right?”
Rarity clapped her hooves together. “Splendid, let’s get going shall we? A lady shows up in good time, and our transport has been here for some time.”
Looking over Rarity’s shoulder, she saw a vintage carriage waiting. The black vinyl color shone as if it had been newly polished, around the edges it had a bleak wooden texture. In the front, a driver sat on a velvet cherry red cushion. He smiled as he saw the six mares approach the carriage.
As he jumped down, his black suit clung on to him, and just barely shifting the white bib on his chest. He tipped his black top-hat, and greeted them with a smile between his light brown beard, which ran from over his muzzle and all the way back to his ears.
He pressed down on a pedal under the door of the wagon, releasing a metal spring loaded step, making the entering of the carriage easier. The inside had a rustic style to it, there were two sets of cushions inside colored in the same cherry red color as the one at front. Behind each of the sitting areas hung small oil lamps with a flame that flickered as a small gust of wind blew through. Between the sitting places there was a small table with a dark oak color, on the edges there were a few delicate silver glass holders. The walls had much of the same texture as the small table except for small golden leaf details.
As they entered the carriage, Dash took a seat closest to the window. Twilight rushed past Fluttershy and sat down next to her, smiling softly. She returned the smile and shifted a bit to the side so Twilight could sit better.
Applejack put down a small keg before the table as she closed the door behind her, she looked around before she let go of a grin. “Ah saved some of the cider we made this summer just fer tonight.”
Rarity pushed forward and opened up a small box under the table, drawing out six crystal glasses. “Splendid! You could have told me, Applejack, but luckily, a lady is always prepared.”
As Applejack slowly poured their drinks, Rarity handed them out as they got filled. The white mare raised her glass. “To the-”
“U-uhm... Rarity... how did you afford this carriage?”
Rarity turned her head towards Fluttershy who hid as good as she could behind the thin glass. “Do not ponder on that, Fluttershy, price or terms of acquirement is not of importance tonight.”
Rarity smiled as she continued. “To the best night ever!”
Everypony shouted the toast simultaneously as they struck their glasses together. Taking a small sip of the cider, Rarity tapped her hoof on the ceiling of the carriage, signaling to the driver that they were ready to leave. The wagon yanked forward before it continued on at a steady pace.
Dash followed the landscape with her eyes as they passed it; in the background she heard buzzing from conversations her friends were having. They discussed everything from how Pinkie planned on making an ice cream pizza filled with cupcake dough, or how much work Rarity had been having after she got an order from Hoity Toity.
Dash turned her head as she felt something on her shoulder. Twilight had been up many nights before today to deliver a study on the effects of Poison Joke to the academy in Equestria, and now it seemed that fatigue had overtaken her, along with a few glasses of cider as she now slept soundly on Dash’ shoulder.
She smiled as her eyes stared out the window again, Dash appreciated Twilight’s company. She was smart and caring in her own clumsy way, but that was what made her who she was.
Dash’ mind wandered off to the night where she had read aloud for Twilight, it was that night she realized that Twilight was becoming more than a friend to her. Twilight was growing to become the sister Dash had never had. Growing up as an only child was strange. Dash had looked at other ponies wandering around with their brother or sister and had always wondered how it would be if she had one, someone she could share everything with, and for the last year, she had gotten the chance to experience that with Twilight.
She almost let go of a small squeak as she thought of her plan to get into the Wonderbolts; meet up with Spitfire and challenge her to a race. When she managed to beat the leader of the Wonderbolts in a race, there would be no doubt, she would become a Bolt.
Dash nudged Twilight softly as she spotted the castle in the horizon. “Wake up Twilight, we’re here.”
Twilight opened her eyes as she looked around, she let go of a yawn as she shifted her mane back in place. “Sorry, I’m just a little tired from the amount of work I’ve been doing lately.”
Rarity giggled while holding a hoof in front of her lips, her cheeks had a small hint of red in them. “That’s quuuuite alright my dear, but see now, we are here.”
Applejack gently took away Rarity’s glass. “Hey now... seems like you have had a’nough to drink for tonight.”
The carriage slowed down to an halt, after a few seconds they heard the sound of the metal step being released before the door swung open. The coach stallion stood beside the open door and smiled. “M’ladies, we have arrived.”
Dash sat still watching as the group left the wagon, smirking a little as she saw Rarity stumbling out in a not very ladylike way. Dash stepped carefully down and looked around letting go of a gasp as she saw the Canterlot Castle towering over the city.
From the yard where the arrivals came in by wagon all the way to the entrance, there were small lanterns hanging. The wind that shifted through the open plains before the castle caused them to dance joyfully.
Ponies came from all parts of Equestria, arriving at the castle in different ways of transport. From the looks of it, most of the residents from Cloudsdale arrived by a cart pulled up to a landing platform at the upper part of the castle, a long pathway lead towards a gate draped in the same fashion as the one they had arrived on. The only difference were the small bulbs of light around the platform which they landed on.
Around the walls bright red pieces of cloth were tied up to the windows, arching down while ruffling calmly in the wind. Overhead, small groups of weather patrol pegasi flew with a brightly colored dust which lay itself in the wind creating distorted rainbows.
Dash turned around and spotted Rarity in the arm of the kusk, giggling like a teenage mare with her first crush. The white mare ran her hoof over the stallions mustache. “You must excuse my indecent behaviour, but that is a magnificent piece of muzzle hair.”
His eyes jolted over towards Dash, screaming a silent cry for help, before he fumbled forth words in answer. “T-thank you, Miss, but I have to go.”
Dash let go of a chuckle as Applejack grabbed a hold of Rarity and pulled her away. The coach stallion was not one to be asked twice to leave as he darted to the carriage the moment he was free of Rarity’s grip.
Looking around she noticed that Pinkie had already gone inside, she spotted Fluttershy helping Applejack taking Rarity over to a bench nearby. Dash saw the huge gate which lead inside and remembered that she had her own reason for being there besides having fun.
She stopped mid trot as she heard Twilight calling her, Dash turned around facing her friend. “What is it, Twilight?”
Twilight walked towards her while she looked at the scenery around them. “It’s magnificent isn't it?”
Dash cocked one of her brows up as she watched Twilight closing the gap between them. “I... guess.”
Twilight turned her eyes towards Dash. “Listen... there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.” Twilight stood right in front of her and looked at her with a faint tint of red in her cheeks. “Dash... lately we’ve grown close, and I... wanted you to know that I really enjoy spending time with you and...” She turned her head down and stared at the ground.
Dash smiled and placed a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “I enjoy the time we spend together as well... you’re like the sister I never had, a pony I can share everything with.”
Twilight’s eyes dilated as Dash spoke those words and she started scraping the stones with her hoof. “Oh...”
Dash tilted her head to the side and looked at her friend. “Something wrong?”
Twilight shook her head. “N-no...” She lifted her head and pressed forth a smile towards Dash. “I-I’m glad you see me as family...”
Dash put her hooves around her friend. “After tonight we should get together and read again, it’s been too long.”
Twilight nodded slowly and answered distantly. “Yeah...”
Dash turned around and yelled back at her friend as she started to trot to the gate. “I’ll see you inside.”
She handed her ticket to the curator at the gate and headed inside; she stopped only meters past the gate and stood frozen in awe. The room was big enough to hold a full grown dragon standing up. The crimson floor carpets had been rolled out leading through every door in the main hall. Huge support columns stretched from the roof and merged with the floor around a decorative rock sleeve.
In the very middle of the room there was a banquet with food for all types of tastes, everything from hay to exotic fruits. Around it was stacked with many small tables, some occupied by couples or a small gang of friends.
Dash felt a stab in her stomach as she saw a stallion flirting with a mare at the far end of the room. She ran her hoof down her mane and stopped at the brooch, feeling the details as her hoof went over it.
She shook her head and started to make her way to the pavilion; if everything went according to plan, she would meet the Wonderbolts there and impress them enough to let her join the team.
Dash grinned to herself; there was no way she could fail two times, she was too awesome for that. When everything was over and she was a Wonderbolt trainee, she would spend the rest of the night with her friends. Letting go of a chuckle she proclaimed to herself. “Tonight will be the best night ever!”
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Alright!
With me on this fic I have.
Commisionermuffin
Aridifolia
Ahalfbronyfromitaly
And Slashawar as pre-readers and editors, big thanks to them.
I'm trying a new style of writing, so please, leave a comment.
I hope you enjoy.
Cheers!
Oh yeah, it has begun! Well, you already read my opinion so now let's see what anyone else thinks
Very nice! Looking forward to more!
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VERY well-detailed! Not too much, not too little, and enough to paint a picture in my head. I like that!
Not sure if there's anything in this story I really disagree with.
Well done!
ic2.pbase.com/o4/97/388497/1/64021719.CHPTbjAb.applause.gif
Argh! Poor Twilight, first chapter and already in the friendzone.
Can't wait to see where you're going with the brooch, could this be another future Twilight ? Could be cool
So can we have another chapter, please ?
Cédric
I'm interested...
Keep it up!
Twilight isn't just in the friend zone! She is in the sibling zone!
I really enjoyed the first chapter and I am looking forward to more.
I was going to write asking if you would like my services as an editor, but I see you have a team.
Oooowwwww... That drop, not into the friendzone, but the SIBLING zone, was almost painful to read. Poor, poor Twilight.
Nice story you got here, but it could be better. I've been spotting a ton of amateurish grammar mistakes. No big deal though, I was able to ignore them and focus on the story. I recommend getting a prereader or editor to comb through your chapters before publications.
Good luck!
Interesting so far......... Must make more chapters!
1430376
Are you that bored waiting on 'The Rope'?
1432020
Oh yes, you have no idea how bored I am.
1433030
Also why hasn't his been posted yet?
Like a sister? Ouch, gotta hurt twi *mentally hugs twilight*
SIR THIS IS AN ORDER
YOU WILL GO ON PAYED LEAVE
YOU WILL USE ALL OF THE CASH IN YOU HAVE TO PURCHASE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN
LAYS POTATO CHIPS
1L MOUNTAIN DEW BOTTLES
THEN YOU WILL SPEND THE REST OF YOUR DAYS FINISHING THIS STORY YOU GOT THAT!?
IF YOU DO : $1000 WILL BE SENT TO YOU VIA GOD
IF YOU DONTdata.whicdn.com/images/33995163/funny-gifs-the-anger-of-the-queen_large.gif
Nice. Can't wait for the next chapter.
Last I checked, emerlards were green, and only green
Poor Twilight, getting sister-zoned must be as bad as being brother-zoned.
iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/mlfw4496-BVqwB.gif?1342342614
poor twi the sound of her heart breaking must of been loud
good story will be good to see were this goes
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Anyway, tracking this.
Looking good. Two things I did notice, though:
> Dash sighed as she looked in the mirror, what she saw just didn’t feel right.
This is a runon sentence.
> “Fluttershy sat down next to Dash, but moved as Twilight politely asked her to shift over.”
Why is this in quotes?
1527194 The quotation part should not have been there.
Was something I put in as maybe an alternate sentence there when I went over this fic, and for some reason it followed the upload. 
Runon sentence, would you mind elaborate?
And glad you did enjoy it even with those 2 misshaps.
Cheers!
1527202
As far as this goes:
> Dash sighed as she looked in the mirror, what she saw just didn’t feel right.
It's really two separate sentences, separated by a comma. There should either be a connector word or phrase, or it should be separated as two sentences. The easiest change would be:
Dash sighed as she looked into the mirror. What she saw just didn't feel right.
or maybe:
As she looked into the mirror, Dash sighed. What she saw just didn't feel right.
Though you could do something like:
Dash sighed as she looked into the mirror, as what she saw simply didn't feel right.
Though that feels a little repetitive with 'as' twice. Or it could even go this way:
As she looked into the mirror, Dash sighed, her reflection simply not feeling right to her.
I'd go on, but I'm sure you've got the idea. I get rather carried away occasionally.
Error in the description?
1555424 I don't see it, that's in the synopsis?
1555437 Yes. Beginning of the 3rd paragraph.
1555442 Weird, it does not show for me.
Here's how it shows for me.
1555452 ...Wondebolts. It's Wonderbolts.
1555460 Bloody hell, I feel dumb for not seeing that. I got hung up at the fact that I didn't see the word chance on my screen.
Thanks for pointing it out though.
Cheers!
1555469 Oh. Sorry for putting that in there. I didn't copy/paste it, I just did it based on memory.