The Study Never Ends
The Study of a Winning Pony
Chapter 34: The Study Never Ends
It was nice that everything was finally settling down after so many weeks of craziness. There was a point where it felt like my whole life was getting turned on its head. Finding out about two half-sisters and a niece you didn't know about, your brother getting married, and having said marriage nearly derailed by love-sucking bugs would do that.
There was still a lot of ground to cover and a lot of thorny issues to sort through, but it at least felt manageable. At least relatively manageable, if we were lucky. After everything that happened at the Doo Manor, Ditzy had asked that we give her and her family some room to let everything sink in. That memory caused a pang of guilt spread in my chest. We had dumped a lot on Ditzy and her family. Part of me was still getting over the shock of everything that was revealed. I could only imagine what Ditzy, Sparkler, and Dinky were going through. I didn’t doubt they needed the space, and I had every intention of giving it to them.
Granted, we still had a long way to go. We had only begun to address Sparkler being abandoned, the outstanding issues with Shiny and Dinky, where we stood with one another, and a dozen other issues. Just one talk wasn’t even going to begin to cover all of that. Our first talk had gone well, but when I thought on it, I didn’t see all of them going nearly so well. Sparkler and Ditzy had some legitimate reasons for being angry, and sooner or later, that anger was going to express itself once the shock wore off.
Shining was going to need to be told about them, and I doubted he was going to be thrilled to hear he had a long-lost daughter. The good news was that I had my parents and Ditzy to help break it to him, once he got back from his honeymoon. They also said I had gone through enough stress for a while, between organizing the wedding and then defending it, and encouraged me to go back to Ponyville to relax. While I felt at least in part responsible for this whole situation, I couldn't argue that I did need some time away from all this craziness.
Dinky was a whole other issue entirely. I was initially worried about her telling everypony she had a dad and that she was going to meet him. There would of course be a time for that, but now wasn't quite it. Not until we could bring Shining and Cadance up to speed about his daughter and give them time to digest that. It was the only fair thing to do, after all. Thankfully, we had been able to impress on Dinky how important it was to keep who her dad was a secret for now, even if it hadn't been easy. Hopefully she wouldn't accidently let it slip, but only time could tell.
More than a little bit of me was sad that Dinky hadn’t shown up to her weekly magic lessons. I hoped that wouldn’t become a long-term issue, but I didn’t have the confidence to approach Ditzy or her family about that quite yet. I would see how things stood in a couple of weeks.One bit of good news was that I was continuing to exchange letters with Vinyl, which for now seemed good enough. And who knew? Maybe in good time I would get to spend time with Sparkler and Dinky.
Still, what would come would come, and I would deal with it as it came. Sitting in the library and catching up on my reading was certainly a lot calmer than having to plan two weddings back-to-back, never mind the other family drama. I had fallen a bit behind on my book list, so it was nice to be able to catch up.
I was in the middle of making some notes when someone knocked. “Hello? Anypony sexy in here?” Cloud said through the door.
Wondering what Cloud was up to, I opened the door and grinned at her. “Sorry, only librarians.”
Cloud returned my grin. “Librarians are very sexy.”
“I'll just have to take your word on that,” I said, intentionally sounding disinterested to tease her. No sense letting her have it that easy.
“Nah, put yourself in some nice glasses and artfully tousle that mane a bit, and I'd go wild for you,” Cloud said.
I snorted with amusement. “Shame I don't have a problem with my vision, then.”
Cloud let out an exaggerated sigh. “Alas, the sexy librarian look only works with glasses.”
“I guess I'm just doomed to unsexiness then,” I said, with overstated dissapointment.
“Or you'll just need to go for a different version of sexiness.” Cloud gently brushed aside my mane to get a better look at me. “You've got no shortage of options.”
“That would be the optimistic look at it,” I said. “So, you want to come in, or shall we hold an entire conversation at the door?” Considering she had knocked, that probably meant she wanted to come in to visit. Though I wasn’t sure exactly why. The two of us really hadn’t talked since we had last seen each other in Canterlot. Of course, that might be exactly why she wanted to see me.
“Since you asked so nicely...” Cloud grinned and trotted inside.
“I figured it might be a bit rude to not let you in.” I closed the door after her. “I'm sure you would just look sad, standing outside all day like a puppy out in the rain.”
“If it was raining.” A mischievous smirk creased her lips. “But since I'm a weatherpony, I could arrange that.”
“Rainbow would probably have something to say about that,” I pointed out.
“That's true.” Cloud puckered out her lips in a sexy pout. “You gonna tell on me?”
“I don't know.” I poked her chest teasingly. “Rainbow is my friend. She might get upset if I kept a secret from her. Especially when you’re being bad.”
Cloud somehow managed to make her pout even more attractive. “But I thought you liked me...”
“I do.” My resolve faltered as I couldn’t look away from that cute pout. She really was good at pouting when she turned it up.
Cloud gave me a friendly nuzzle and I returned it. “And I know I like you.”
“It's a bit obvious,” I said.
Cloud smiled warmly. “And speaking of liking you, I still owe you a date.”
After considering that for a moment, I nodded. “That is true, and I'm going to guess that because you're here you had something in mind.”
“Yup. I was thinking we could stay in.” Cloud gestured at the interior of the library with a wing. “It is the third date, after all.”
I tilted my head at the unusual suggestion. “Huh, really? I never really thought of a date taking place indoors. At least not to start with.”
“All a date takes is two ponies spending time together,” Cloud pointed out. “As long as it’s the two of us and we’re enjoying one another’s company, then it’s a date.”
“That is true.” I rubbed at my chin. I hadn’t really expected a date all of a sudden, but then again, I didn’t have to stick with my schedule, and often didn’t when something came up. Otherwise, being a friend with somepony as spontaneous as Pinkie Pie would be very difficult. Thankfully, Spike was visiting Rarity to help her out on some project, so I didn’t have any awkwardness from that angle. “It seems worth giving a shot. At the very least it would be something a bit different.”
“Yeah, I think so.” Cloud gestured towards the kitchen. “Want me to cook? I could make you something nice.”
“I could help,” I offered.
“Sounds like fun.” Cloud lead the way to the kitchen. “What are you in the mood for?”
“Hm, I'm good for just about anything,” I said. “That is, if we have the ingredients in the kitchen. Otherwise we’re going to need to head to the market to get something.” I checked the clock and, to my mild surprise, saw that time had gotten away from me. Who knew a book about electro-harmonic resonance could hold your attention like that. “Assuming anyplace is open anymore.”
“Right, I suppose we can see what you have, then decide from there,” Cloud offered.
“Sounds good. No sense getting ahead of ourselves.” I started looking around the kitchen to take an account of what we had available to cook. “Spike does most of the cooking here. He really likes to cook. So I'm not always aware about everything we have on hoof.”
Cloud let out a fake sounding gasp. “You mean you don't have an alphabetized and itemized list?”
“I do!” An old, well known annoyance boiled up in me. “But I don't have it memorized! And Spike doesn't always keep track of what he uses, so it's almost always inaccurate.”
There was a noticeable passage of a moment before Cloud spoke up. “I'm gonna guess that bugs you, so dropping the topic.”
“Just a bit,” I grumbled.
“Sorry something in your life isn't perfectly ordered and itemized.” Cloud pecked me on the cheek.
I huffed. “Story of my life.”
“So, let's bring order to chaos by turning these ingredients into food.” She bumped my hip with her own and turned to the pantry, looking its contents over as we considered what to make. “How about some sort of pasta or a casserole?”
“Both of those sound good to me.” I checked the icebox to make sure we would have enough fresh produce for something like that.
“Hmm.” Cloud rubbed at her chin. “Split the difference and make a pasta casserole?”
“Sure, let’s go with that.” Using my magic, I levitated everything we would need to the kitchen counter.
Cloud helped get everything ready by pulling items out of the pantry. “Pasta, cheese, veggies, and some soup to tie it all together.”
“That should work just fine,” I said. “I take it you know the exact recipe for this?”
Cloud examined what we had spread out, nodded in satisfaction that everything was set, and then got to work preparing the ingredients. “Not an exact one, but I learned the rules of making a good casserole from my uncle.”
“I believe you mentioned him and casseroles once.” I stepped up next to her to begin chopping up the vegetables.
Cloud nodded as she went about setting up the pasta as a base in the glass dish we were using to put the casserole in. “He makes the best carrot casserole around.”
I pushed the vegetables that I had cut for Cloud to put into the dish. “I'm willing to give it a shot. Hopefully Spike won't mind us using anything. Sometimes he plans meals well in advance.”
“He'll survive.” Cloud spread some tomato soup on the bottom of the dish and then added a layer of cheese on top.”
“Probably,” I said. “And I can always apologize to him later if he gets annoyed.” If he got grumpy about it, I could always give him a gem or two to make him feel better. Besides, if he wanted to make sure I didn't use something I wasn't supposed to, then he should have made a list of what was off-limits and put it up somewhere where I could have seen it.
“Yeah, I'm sure if he gets that worked up over it, you can deal with him.” Cloud added the vegetables, and once that was done, splayed in more soup and cheese. “Hope you're taking notes, Duchess. Some day you might want to make a casserole on your own.”
“Oh, right!” I grabbed a pencil and notebook sitting on the counter by the icebox. The pencil flew over the paper as I wrote down everything we had done thus far for the casserole.
Cloud snickered as she watched me. “I wasn't being serious.”
The pencil stopped when I heard that. “You weren't?”
“No, silly sexy Twilight.” Cloud playfully booped me on the nose. “I'm just teasing you.”
A bashful smile worked its way onto my face. “Would you mind if I kept making notes? I mean I've already started writing, and I don't want to forget any details if I want to make this again, not to mention if I want to give Spike instructions on how you cook this...”
“As long as you remember the most important rule of all.” Cloud grinned and leaned her head in a bit closer to mine. “Kiss the cook.”
I rolled my eyes at the little bit of cheesiness. “No sense letting you go disappointed.” I kissed her on the lips, something she readily returned. Cloud really was a corrupting influence; she had gotten me to kiss her on the fly and everything. Admittedly, it was pretty fun.
“I would be most upset if you hadn't,” Cloud said.
“Crisis averted.” I waggled my eyebrows at her. “Sexily.”
Cloud chuckled. “That’s the best way to avert a crisis.”
The two of us finished up the rest of the pasta together, putting on a final layer of cheese and adding seasoning from the well-stocked supplies available. Cloud rubbed her chin as she examined the casserole. “Any last touches you want, or shall we put it in the oven?”
“It looks good to me,” I said. “Might as well get it going.”
“Alright then.” Cloud carefully put the pasta into the oven. “And now we just need to wait until it's done. Probably about forty-five minutes to an hour, so I hope you have something fun for us to do while we wait.”
“I'm sure we can come up with something,” I said as I set the egg-timer.
“I'm sure you've got some games we could play,” Cloud said.
I nodded. “Oh definitely. they're all upstairs.”
“Upstairs it is, then.” Cloud lead the way to the stairs and I followed her.
As we ascended the stairs, I noticed her rump swaying back and forth in time with her hoofsteps. Technically speaking, it was a nice butt to watch in motion. It was when I thought that that I realized I had been staring at her rear and immediately started blushing at my behavior.
Cloud reached the top of the stairs and stopped, giving her rump a final little waggle as she grinned down at me. “You coming?”
Darn it, she had been doing that on purpose. She just couldn't stop herself, now could she. “Y-yes! Of course. I'm coming!” I hurried up the stairs after her.
“Words I'll be hearing again before the night is over, if I play my cards right,” Cloud said with a wide grin.
I narrowed my eyes. “Reeeal classy there.”
“I'm always classy,” she said with confidence. “So where are the games?”
Putting aside Cloud’s crassness, I headed over to the closet that contained the games. “Oh, we have a large variety of games to play. Was there one in particular you were wanting to play?”
“Your choice,” Cloud said.
I hummed as I looked at the game boxes. “It would probably be best if we picked something quick.” Seeing something Cloud might like, I pulled the game out and showed it to Cloud. “So how about Twister?”
“Sounds good,” Cloud said.
“Great.” I quickly spread the game mat along the floor. “I figured you would like something a bit physical anyways, and it is pretty short.”
Cloud pulled out the spinner and placed it down next the mattress. “It's nice for working up an appetite.”
I grinned. “Then this should be highly efficient. So, you want to go first?”
“Sure.” Cloud spun the spinner.
Cloud examined the spinner some time later. “Right hind leg ... blue.”
“Um.” I stretched out my hind leg to try and reach a blue circle, but I was coming up short. It would have been a bit easier if my forelegs weren’t in an awkward knot with one another. “I think I might be stuck...”
“Lemme see if I can...” Cloud shifted around, she was in a better position to move around than I was. Still, she slipped slightly and we suddenly found our chests pressing against one another.
I smiled awkwardly as the two of us were nearly face to face with one another. “Seems we're both a bit stuck now.”
Cloud grinned, clearly enjoying the awkward moment. “Yes. Yes we are. Can you reach it now?”
“Err.” The new position allowed me to stretch my leg a bit to reach the blue circle. “Yes!”
“Nice.” Cloud used a free hoof to spin the spinner again. “Some day, we have to try out my homerules for this game.”
“Oh? And what homerules would those be?” I asked.
“Well, I place the hooves on other locations.” A mischievous spark lit in Cloud’s eyes. “For instance... Twilight's lips to Cloud's.”
I chuckled at her boldness. “Ah, now I understand. Your homerules turn it into that type of game. Well, as long as we're having fun...” I kissed her lightly on the lips.
Cloud gently returned my kiss, murmuring in pleasure as she did so. “Cloud's hoof to Twi's chest.” Her hoof touched my chest gently to caress it.
I giggled, feeling giddy as I did so. “This is silly.”
“A bit, yeah. Fun, though.” Cloud spun again, but this time she didn’t even pretend to look at the results. “Twi's hoof to Cloud's rump.”
I placed my hoof on her rear and started rubbing it. It still felt odd to be doing something like that, but ... engaging, I would say. “I can see you’re enjoying this.”
“Yes, yes I am.” The game forgotten, she stroked my cheek.
I felt my cheeks warm. “Looks like I picked the right game, then.”
“I'd say so.” Cloud drew me into a hug. “I like this kind of thing.”
I hugged her back, enjoying the warm touch of her coat on mine. “I can see the appeal of it.”
Cloud placed my head on her chest and gently ran her hoof through my mane. “Mmm, I could get used to this.”
“Can you now?” I leaned up against her. Her support felt nice. Natural, even. “I think I could too.”
“Who would've thought we'd get this cozy with each other?” Cloud asked.
“It's a bit crazy,” I said. “Though it probably helps that you're so ... forward? Bold. Bold is probably the world. With me being an introvert...”
Cloud smiled, though I couldn’t read the exact emotion behind it. “I like bold. Fortune favors the bold. And ... I guess I did kinda help you out of your shell.”
“You did.” I nuzzled her soft chest. “I never really considered getting into a relationship with anypony before I met you. Not seriously, anyways.”
“Thinking about it now?” Cloud asked.
I nodded. “At least experimentally. It's at least worth trying out, I think. Considering I am enjoying this.”
“Just gotta find the right pony now,” Cloud said.
“That's always the trick to it, now isn't it?” I rubbed her chest.
“Yeah. I ... well, I'm a bit taken as far as long term relationships go.” Cloud shrugged. “Kinda. Still working out exactly where I am with Blossom and Eepy.”
I sighed and nodded. Once again, old baggage was making life difficult for me. Why did nothing seem simple? Fluttershy didn’t want anything to do with me romantically because of Cloud, and now Cloud was committed to a relationship with her two fillyfriends. Figures I would get involved with a pony already in a love triangle. I sure knew how to pick them, and I was feeling my old reflexes to just dump the whole romance thing completely reassert itself.
“Right, right, and that all is why I didn't exactly seek you out for this third date,” I said. “I didn't want to mess up what you three had going on. Not when it seemed to be making all of you happy.”
Cloud smiled appreciatively. “Thoughtful of you. But you didn't really want long term from me anyway, did you?”
I pressed my lips together as I considered the question. “I don't know. I mean, I've never done any of this before. If you come to love a pony, wouldn't you want it to become long term? Or at least give a relationship the opportunity to see where it goes.”
Cloud blinked. “Er ... are you saying you love me?”
I blushed when I realized how my words must have sounded to her. “Er, not seriously. At least I don't think so. Remember the whole inexperienced issue I brought up earlier? This is probably just a friend thing, but I'm not exactly the best pony at judging where my heart is on this sort of subject.”
Cloud nodded. “Right, that. I mean, I love you to bits too, but in a more ... er ... fond way than what I've got with Eepy and Blossom.”
“I can understand that.” While I could understand, it still hurt for Cloud to say that. Really, I was happy for the three of them, and I knew everything Cloud had said was right. It just seemed that rejection always hurt, whatever the circumstances. I slowly removed my hooves from her. “And you're probably not really interested in me. Especially when you've got going on with Fluttershy and Blossomforth.”
“Depends on what you mean by ‘really’ interested,” Cloud said. “Long-term committed relationship? Probably not in the cards. Something a bit more casual?” She leaned in and kissed me, and where her words might have failed in getting across her message, her kiss certainly didn't. She cared about me, maybe not in the way she did for Fluttershy and Blossomforth, but she cared.
“Could you define ‘casual’ for me?” I asked, feeling a bit giddy while doing so. “Sorry, this being the first time I have done this. I want to make sure I understand where we're both standing.”
Cloud looked me in the eyes and smiled. “Basically? We do the fun stuff, and don't stress over commitments and where our relationship's going. We're friends. And if you're feeling a bit ... feel like you want some physical release, I'll do the friendly thing and help you with that.”
“And that wouldn't cause any issues with the others?” I asked. “I don't want to do anything to risk what you have with them.”
“Both of them understand that I have some special friends I fool around with sometimes,” Cloud assured me. “Doesn't mean I don't love them, or that they're not the most important ponies to me. It's ... we're still figuring it all out, but it's alright.”
I was still a bit worried about how all of this might turn out, even if we kept things casual. I had never done anything like this before, so I didn't want to mess anything up for anypony, especially my friends. “If you're sure about that. It's not like I'm so desperate I need to be a homewrecker.” If it came right down to it, it wouldn't be the end of the world to end any romantic entanglements with Cloud. It might not be fun, but I could do it if it was the right thing to do.
“No homes are being wrecked, Twilight.” Cloud placed a hoof over her heart. “That's a promise.”
After thinking everything over again, I nodded. “Good. I think we can make this work, at least for the short term.”
“I think so too,” Cloud said.
“And we can figure out the details as we go, I think.” I rubbed my chin as I considered the practical side of the issue. “I'm sure I can add that to my schedule.”
Cloud grinned with amusement. “So from now on, Twilight's monthly schedule has a ‘bang Cloud Kicker’ slot?”
Despite myself, I smiled at the rib. “How about we just mark it down as a 'Spend Time With Cloud' slot, or maybe ‘Special Time With Cloud?”
“Works for me.” Cloud pecked my cheek.
“Glad we can agree.” I nuzzled her and felt much more confident about the situation.
“So ... how about we—” Cloud sniffed at the air. “Oooh, casserole. We better get to it before it burns.”
“Burned casserole is a huge waste.”
It wasn't long after that before the two of us were sitting at the dining room table with the steaming casserole between us. We ate in silence until the edge was taken off of our hunger, trading glances over the table a few times. I finally spoke up.“So, what made you decide to stop by, anyways?”
Cloud shrugged. “Hadn't seen you for a bit. Not since Canterlot, really.”
“Hm, that is true.” I dipped my fork into the casserole as I mulled that over. It felt like a year had passed since we had really talked to one another. “Guess we've both been busy. I know I have. How have you been holding up?”
“I'm doing a lot better than I was,” Cloud said with an easy smile. “Finally got a bunch of stuff settled in my life.”
“That's good to hear,” I said. “Fluttershy seems a lot happier.”
“I hope so.” Cloud let out a long, released breath. “I want her and Blossom both to be happy.”
From everything I had heard, it had been quite a mess between those three. Ditzy too for that matter, considering she and Cloud had decided to end their relationship and just go back to being friends. “Hopefully it will be smooth sailing from here.”
Cloud nodded. “That'd be nice. How're you?”
“I'm getting along,” I said. “There was some family drama. A ton of family drama, really, but I think it's under control now. At least it’s better than it was before. Kinda, anyways. We still have a lot of work to do.”
“Yeah, Derpy told me about it.” Cloud put a mouthful of pasta on her own fork.
“She gave you all the details, then?” It felt a bit of a privacy violation to tell Cloud that little bit of information, but if there was anypony who had a right to tell anypony what was happening, it was Ditzy. That, and Cloud was a close friend of hers.
Cloud nodded. “Yeah. So Sparkler's your sister...”
I rubbed at my face, feeling some of that lingering frustration coming back. “It's a bit crazy.”
“How you handling that?” Cloud asked.
“One day at a time.” I said. “Sparkler's having a rough time with it. Explaining the whole situation to her hasn't been easy, especially when even my parents admitted they made a big mistake in giving her up. Really, I expect her to explode on them sooner or later once she’s had time to digest everything. She's just had the rug pulled out from under her, after all.”
“Oooh.” Cloud grimaced. “Yeah, that’d be rough. She'll bounce back though. She's a tough kid. I'll talk to her when I can. Sometimes it helps to have somepony not involved with a big mess to talk to.”
I smiled appreciatively. “I'd appreciate it. I... well, I just want my sister at the end of the day. And a niece out of the deal, to boot.”
“Big family expansion,” Cloud said.
“You're telling me.” I looked down and played around with the casserole on my plate. “Hopefully Shiny and Cadance take the news well.”
Cloud winced at that unpleasant, and inevitable, scenario. “Oh, that'll be a fun present for when they get back from the honeymoon.”
“No kidding.” I shook my head. “Mom and Dad say they will take care of the worst of it, but it's not something I look forward to.”
“Well, his issue to deal with,” Cloud said.
“What my parents told me,” I said, not feeling happy about the whole situation. “His mistake, his problem at the end of the day. Not that putting it that way makes me feel a whole lot better. I don’t like dumping problems on other ponies. Especially family.”
“Still, you're in a bit of spot.” Cloud reached over to pat me on the shoulder. “You're tough, trust me. And while it might be rough now, it’ll get better eventually. These things usually do.”
“Oh, I'll get through it. I'm sure about that.” I let out a sigh. “I think the worst is over, really.”
“Yeah, sounds like it.” Cloud pecked me on the lips. She hummed after doing so and chuckled. “Casserole lips.”
I chuckled too at the silliness. “It's the consequence of eating casserole.”
“That it is,” Cloud said. “I bet I have it too.”
I grinned. “Just a little bit.”
Cloud’s lips cracked in a playful grin. “Here come the casserole lips!” She leaned in, her lips pursed in a kiss.
“I have them too, you know.” I kissed her without hesitation. “That's going to be a bit hard to gross me out over.”
“Beware! My lips taste like delicious food!” Cloud said with exaggerated horror.
“Oh no! That's the worst possible thing!” I returned with equal exaggeration. “Right up there with a monster attack or a late friendship report!”
“Truly, there is nothing worse than this.” Cloud gave me more delicious, casserole flavored kisses that I returned. Without really thinking about it, our kisses lingered long and became more deep, making my heart race as a result. “Mmm. I think dinner's done. Ready for dessert?”
“A little bit of dessert wouldn't hurt,” I said, my voice airy.
“Well then...” Cloud nibbled at my neck, the sensation both ticklish and arousing. “Shall we head upstairs?”
I found myself squeaking at the sudden escalation of intimacy. “Wait, you don't mean…?”
Cloud spoke with a sultry, deep-throated voice. “Yeah ... that kind of dessert.”
That caused my face to take on a new shade of crimson. “It's so sudden.”
“Oh.” Cloud leaned away from me. “Well, if I'm going too fast...”
“All of this is a bit new to me,” I said quickly.
“Alright then.” She kissed me on the cheek that was significantly more chaste than her earlier affections. “No pressure.”
“Right, I guess I just found it as unexpected, is all.” I took a calming breath. “Though I really shouldn't have.”
“Hey, all of this is up to you,” Cloud said. “I’m not going to pressure you into anything. If you’re not comfortable, I’ll stop, just like that.”
“Mind if I ask a few questions?” I nuzzled her gently along the neck.
Cloud nodded. “Go for it.”
Thinking it over, I asked, “A big question I have is, and this is an academic question, why should we ... you know?”
“It's fun, it feels good, and we'll both enjoy it,” Cloud said.
“Though you have to admit, it's a very ... intimate activity,” I countered.
“Yeah, it is.” Cloud took my hoof and squeezed it. “But I'm okay with that. I trust you enough to let you get intimate with me.”
I squeezed her hoof back as I carefully considered my next words. “Hm, though from everything I have read, this can change a friendship. It’s a big change in a relationship.”
“Yeah, it can be,” Cloud agreed. “But change can be good.”
“True,” I said. “I don't want to make this too academic, but this is an opportunity for me to learn what this is like. I can’t help but think that.”
“It is.” Cloud drew me into a hug as she wrapped her wings around me. “But I don't want to do this unless you're sure. This should be something, not just a random experience you have.”
“That is a good question, do I want to do this?” I asked.
Cloud nuzzled me gently. “What do you think?”
After another long moment of thought, I said, “I think I would be willing to give it a chance. Or at least start.”
“That sounds good to me.” She pecked my cheek. “You set the pace and take the lead, okay? We only go as far as you’re comfortable with.”
I returned with a peck of my own. “That sounds like a good idea to me.”
Cloud nodded and leaned back, giving me room to act. “So then ... your move.”
“Right.” I nodded in the direction of the stairs. “So how about we head to the bedroom?”
“Sounds good.” The both of us stood and walked to the bedroom.
When we reached my bed, I couldn’t help but giggle giddily. “This feels a bit naughty.”
Cloud waggled her eyebrows. “The best kind of naughty”
I prodded her on the chest. “You would say that.”
“Yes, I would,” Cloud said without a hint of shame. “I'm consistent that way. So ... your move.”
“My move?” I lay on the bed. “You promise you won't laugh, whatever I do?”
Cloud moved onto the bed next to me. “Well, unless you tickle me or something.”
I chuckled. “I'm tempted to do that. But that does bring up what should I do with you?” I kissed her lovingly.
“Mmm, that's a good start,” Cloud murmured as she returned the kiss. “I'm all yours.”
“All mine?” I grinned. “A bold statement.”
“I'm a bold pony.” Cloud ran a hoof along my side, causing goosebumps to form at her touch. “And now you are, too.”
“You can tell me if I'm pushing too hard,” I said. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable either.”
“I will.” Cloud cupped my cheeks, looking me deeply in the eyes. “So ... make your move.”
I wrapped my forelegs around her neck and pressed my forehead against hers. “I think I'll do just that.”
The two of us kissed each other again. “I'm looking forward to it.”
I smiled as I committed myself to this decision. “Let's see where this leads then.”
And then we made love.
Well, that had certainly been something. Describing what that something had been was quite another thing entirely though. Not when I hadn't experienced anything quite the same in my life. No, sex was certainly a unique experience.
As the two of us lied there in my bed in the afterglow of the act, we stared into one another’s eyes. Cloud slowly and lovingly rubbed my side, a happy, content smile on her features. I smiled right back at her. “You look happy.”
“Well, yeah,” Cloud said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I just had sex.”
“Well, I hope it was as good as you were hoping for.” I know I had certainly enjoyed it.
Cloud pecked me on the lips. “You were amazing.”
I felt my cheeks warm at the compliment. “You're just saying that. I mean I felt so awkward, and only had half an idea of what I was doing, and—”
Cloud gently put a hoof on my lips before I could go further. “You. Were. Amazing.”
I smiled shyly. I did feel a bit silly, but it was good to know I hadn't botched my first time. “If you say so...”
“I do,” Cloud said without any room for debate. “And since I'm an expert on the subject...”
I snorted. “Okay, okay, Ms. Expert of Sexiness and Sexing.”
Cloud nodded sagely. “I hope you're going to listen to my expert opinion. Especially when you're a fast learner. So, don't worry if you needed a bit to learn a few things. Banging is like most skills; you need practice to get better.”
“Right, everything needs to be learned,” I said.
Cloud rubbed at my side. “And you learned as well as I'd expect from Celestia's student.” She paused for a moment before adding, “Is it just me, or does that sound a little dirty?”
“Maaaybe just a little bit,” I said.
“Hmm.” Cloud rubbed her chin, and evil grin on her face. “Next Nightmare Night: sexy Celestia.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Don't you dare.”
“You know you'd like it,” Cloud teased. “Me, dressed up as Celestia. Letting you work out some ... unresolved feelings.”
My blush became about as bad as it had ever gotten. “B-b-but she's my teacher!”
“Twi, sweetheart.” Cloud took my hoof and squeezed it. “We both know you're nursing a crush on her.”
I frowned in a pout. “It was a fillyhood crush...”
Cloud pecked me on the lips. “I think it's cute and sweet.”
“But very improper,” I pointed out.
Cloud shook her head. “Nah. Her and you hooking up would be improper. A little roleplay is harmless fun.”
“But she's the Princess!”
Cloud booped me on the nose. “Twi? Sweetie? Less post-coital prudish panic, more cuddles.”
“Oh, right. Sorry.” I gave her a shy smile.
“It's fine.” Cloud nuzzled me.
I took a moment to breath, taking in the situation I was in. “Still, that was ... wow.”
“Glad you liked it,” Cloud with a hint of smugness. “It's the best, isn't it?”
I grinned mischievously. “Hm, I don't know. I still like books a lot.”
Cloud chuckled. “Maybe instead I should show up to Nightmare Night as a sexy book.”
“Oh, then you would just drive me wild,” I said, my words dripping with sarcasm. “Nothing turns me on like a good book.”
“No way you could resist my sexy book charm,” Cloud said. “You'd read every single one of my pages.”
“Why stop with just one read-through?” I asked, playing along.
Cloud grinned. “I like the way you think.”
“What can I say?” I poked her in the chest. “You're a corrupting influence.”
“You're welcome.”
“My, isn't somepony a little bit smug?” I gave her a playfully suspicious look. “You know, a filly might get the idea you had evil intentions coming here.”
Cloud gasped. “Me? Perish the thought. My intentions were pure.”
Gave her a flat look. “Uh-huh, pure as the driven snow?”
“Exactly.” Cloud smiled widely. “My intentions were pure. Purely sexual.”
I chuckled at the joke. “Oh, good save.”
“It's the truth, I swear,” Cloud said.
“That I can believe. So...” I cuddled up with her, enjoying the warm touch of her body. “Where do we go from here?”
“Hmm.” Cloud wrapped her wings around us. “Well I like the plans we made before: friends.”
I nodded in agreement. “I would like that.”
“Good.” She gave me a kiss that I retured. “Consider it another study on friendship. You are the friendship expert, after all.”
“I'm studying friendship, not an expert,” I said.
“Well, you become an expert in something by studying it, right?” A grin spread over her face. “So, does that mean you're an expert on me now?”
“I think I've done a pretty good job of studying you.” I ran a hoof along her wing. “Though I might require some more empirical evidence to be sure I'm an expert.”
Cloud made a throaty chuckle. “Hard to get much more in-depth than you already have.”
I sighed with contentment. “Still, this was pretty nice.”
“I loved it,” Cloud said. “Big surprise.”
I poked her in the belly. “Considering how much you've wanted this?”
“Only a lot.” She pecked me on the nose. “That’s what you get for being so cute. You seduced me with your weapons-grade cuteness. Only Rainbow's cuter, and that's because she denies she's cute in the most adorable way possible.”
I snickered at the image. “She can be pretty cute, especially when she tries so hard not to be.”
Cloud chuckled. “When she starts blushing and whining that she is not cute...”
“She just makes it worse for herself,” I finished.
“She really does,” Cloud said. “Denying one's cuteness just bumps the cute levels into overdrive.”
“She is good at dooming herself like that,” I agreed. “I suppose I can't be too offended being beaten out by her.”
Cloud nodded. “Still, you've got the whole adorkable thing going for you.”
“Still not a word, but thank you.” I pecked her on the nose.
“Do you know what I mean when I say it?” Cloud asked.
“I do, yes,” I said.
Cloud waved the issue off. “Then it does what a word needs to.”
I prodded her in the chest. “This is why the dictionary can never be truly finalized, you know.”
Cloud let out a short, bark of a laugh. “Oh, and that’s my fault now?
“As much as it's anypony's fault.” I nuzzled her chest. “But in the end, I can live with that.”
“Glad to hear it.” Cloud ran her hoof through my mane as my head lied on her chest. “I would hate to be exiled from bed because I sullied the purity of the Equestrian language. Being sent to the couch is the worst.”
I turned up the sarcasm in reply. “Truly the most horrid of fates, for that means no more cuddling.”
“Exactly! I like cuddling.” To emphasis her point, she went right on ahead and cuddled with me.
“Yeah, I do too.” I cuddled right back with her, enjoying her touch as the two of us savored the moment. “Especially when they're with you.”
“Awww, that's sweet.” She wrapped her wings around us and kept stroking my mane.
“Well, you can be pretty sweet too,” I said.
“Oooh, tell me how I'm sweet,” she said with a complete lack of shame. “I'm a sucker for compliments.”
“Now I see how you and Rainbow became friends,” I said. “You're both shameless about flattery.”
Cloud nodded matter-of-factly. “It's true, I've picked up some of her bad habits. Sometimes I find myself talking about how awesome and cool things are, too.”
“Careful,” I warned, “or you might start dying your mane rainbow-colored too.”
“Or wearing one of those wigs her fanclub uses.”
I chuckled at the image of Cloud wearing one of those corny Rainbow Dash wigs. I had to wonder where Scootaloo had even got them. “Those things are pretty funny, you have to admit.”
Cloud tapped her chin in contemplation. “Actually, think I'll use one of those anyway. Too much fun to be had with one.”
“I dare you to take one of those to work someday,” I said.
Cloud exchanged grins with me. “Careful. I'll do it.”
“Oh, I don't doubt it,” I said. “But I stand by that it would be funny.”
“Can't argue with you there,” she agreed.
I nuzzled her chest and let out a content sigh. “Yeah, I think we can make this friendship work just fine. Though sooner or later we're going to have to get out of bed.”
Cloud puckered her lips out in a pout. “Do we have to?”
“Not right away,” I assured her. “But you have a job to go to sooner or later, and I have my studies.”
“Yeah, I guess. But I'm comfy.” Cloud briefly stretched before reaffirming her cuddling.
“I admit, I'm not in a rush to go anywhere,” I said.
“Me either.”
“Then let's not be in a rush to go anywhere.” I kissed her gently, and she returned the gesture.
“Works for me.” Cloud drew me close, smiling as we looked into one another’s eyes. “Twi? Don't take this the wrong way, but you mean a lot to me. So ... thanks. For this.”
I nodded. “It means a lot to me too.”
We continued to hold each other, content to lay with a pony we cared about.
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Since I picked this up right after Life and Times had its last chapter posted, I figured the banging happened prior to the wedding.
Wonder what this means for Twilight in New Life.
Maybe.
I dunno, but it certainly helps.
It's fun to see these two do their usual back and forth.
She's right.
*snicker*
No.
Not going to disagree with you there.
Classy.
Subtle.
Takei, do the thing.
Call Back to the original story.
Naturally.
Please do.
Classy.
About time Twi! Woo hoo!
7167805
And then Twilight Velvet and Night Light were grandparents. Again. :D
Calling it now. TWILIGHT is the one that got CK pregnant in the other story, not Shy or Blossom. The Sparkle family must grow even bigger and invade into more homes!
...Well if no one's gonna make this joke then I will
That being the exact things running through Cloud's Mind after she said this line.
7167912
And how exactly does that work? They are both girls?
7167869
You mean
To quote Cloud.
And yes, I keep that quote saved in a notepad.
7167946
George CarlinCloud, you say?7167938 There are spells... SPELLS, and Magic man! MAGIC!
static4.fjcdn.com/comments/3534490+_94afb330664c00a24ca99ecf0ee93790.jpg
Well, I guess that happened. I'm not sure why, mind you... I admit, it was something I had been hoping wouldn't from the very early chapters, so I have a bias, but it just felt tacked on at this point. I mean, the expected tie in point with the core story during Tornado Duty passed without incident. There was a moment after their first date when things were charged enough and they kissed that I could have bought them going through with it, but they pulled back from that. Then there was the other suggestion in Winning Pony that Twi had lost her virginity before the Changeling incident, and we sailed right past that as well. So finally, when there really isn't any in-story reason for them to do so any longer and it's extra awkward because of Cloud's committed relationship with Fluttershy, they hook up in a super-casual way that has as much sexual tension as a date night between an old married couple.
It doesn't anger me, but it didn't work for me. It's not romantic, it's not dramatic, it's not exciting, it doesn't make a heck of a lot of sense regarding the other relationships of the story... It just feels kind of like an obligation being fulfilled, long after any "will they or won't they" tension had deflated.
I'm also not sure that it works as a culmination of the larger tale, or how it defines Twilight's conclusions on sex and relationships. Her brother has a casual encounter at a party and the fallout from that is still hanging over the events here. Her parents have relationships outside of their commitment and it leads to a half-sister kept secret from her for her entire life, and another half sister cruelly abandoned. Derpy ends up hurt/dealing with fallout from all parties of both stories for loving Cloud and being tangled in the affairs of the Sparkle family. Dash and Fluttershy are shaped by childhood tragedy because of an early relationship with Cloud going too far too fast, the hints of which hung mysteriously over all of Twilight's digging into Cloud and her habits. It just seems odd for Twilight to agree to be Cloud's bit on the side because "it feels good" in light of all of that.
I'm not saying that the right conclusion is that sex is to be avoided, or saved only for marriage, but everyone literally just came through massive relationship complications, both in this story and the original tale. Twilight's decision here just seems off as a result, and rather than her coming to a personal conclusion about these issues and then deciding on how her own sex life should go, it seems like she doesn't give them a thought, shrugged and said "Cloud's way sounds fun", and that was that.
In any event, I apologize for unloading all of that, as the story is written and apparently near completion, so it doesn't seem like there is space left to deal with any of this. I'm sure that some disgruntled reactions were expected when these events were published, and I'll have to be counted among them. I'll be sure to read the concluding chapters regardless.
7167950
Well Cloud was the one that I copy/pasted. Now that you mention it though, I could easily see that as a George Carlin bit.
Back to the origins!
Know what I'm wondering? How Storm will react if she ever learns of this.
> STORMKICKER.EXE HAS CRASHED. REBOOT? Y/N
7167938
In the WinningVerse, it's entirely possible for two mares to conceive through "The Power Of Love." Hell, I'd say it's just as common, if not more than normal conception.
So much fuzziness in this. Wonderful
Things turned out pretty well the last chapter, but this was just an all-around feel-good chapter. And at least some tension was released. Yay!
Now that they actually banged...
Well I guess you can count me among the few who disagree with this. The only problem for me is figuring out why exactly, because I'm of several minds about this. On one hand I like how Twilight comes out of her shell in the romance department unlike a lot of the other stories i have happened to have read (at least in a believable way), but this seems far too casual and tacked on after the fact considering Twilight's personality.
Maybe it has to do with the fact that it's Cloud Kicker the one doing it. I mean I get that one of the selling points of the Winningverse is that CK has this "irresistible" charm and I do like her as a character (not my favorite though, I'm sorry to say that position belong's to Sunbeam) but my willing suspension of disbelief is at it's breaking point with how no one seems able to resist her advances and just say no. It's gotten to the point for me where whenever I start reading a new Ck-centric story, in the back of my mind i'm just thinking to myself you should just say she's banged every beautiful and/or popular mare in the show and be done with it. (only mare's mind you, because as much as the winningverse says that CK is bisexual I've never actually seen her show an interest in the opposite sex and just categorize her as a lesbian, but this seems to be a case of a "show, don't tell" situation though)
Perhaps it would be a better sell for me if I actually saw a mare that was completely unfazed by CK's attempts and doesn't bang her in the end. And no I don't mean CK is only able to get a small rise out of them (like when she jokes around with Rainbow). Having a notable character (not a main one mind you) that can find humor in how CK is able to get others so flustered and embarrassed even if they aren't interested, but be personally immune to it if CK tries it on her because CK just isn't her type would be a breath of fresh air for me at this point.
Overall this is still a good story, and I'll probably post a good view of my thoughts on it in about everything that went on it when it's completed.
Commence read.
Glad that Twilight and Cloud got a chance to sort through that.
I note that the editors missed an extra quotation mark.
Other than that, this was an awesome chapter! I'm pleased that they finally got to do the do.
Hey, there we go.
It would be sad (and slightly unexpected) if the magic lessons for Dinky ended as a consequence of the revelations last chapter.
Yet another date? At this point after the wedding, shouldn't Cloud be about to settle into an official relationship with Fluttershy and Blossomforth?
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻)
Well, so much for my long running hope that that would never happen. And not only did it happen, it happened after Cloud entered into her supposedly serious relationship. Frankly, it is a bad idea trying to crowbar this into Winningverse canon as any sort of sensible turn of events.
I'm going to have to reconsider whether I bother to continue following this story. Hell, possibly the Winningverse at all given how irritated this just made me. In the end, Cloud is just a sexual Mary Sue that is apparently irresistible regardless of the surrounding circumstances and whether or not they make any sense.
7167956 Pretty much all of this. At this point in the story, it no longer makes any sense for this to have happened.
+1 Benefits
Okay, more bitching since this made me actively angry.
Basically, this update just took more or less all of Cloud's hundreds of thousands of words of character development and threw them out the window in order to give her the status of having deflowered Twilight and having banged a full half of the Element Bearers. Did she learn anything from sleeping with Fluttershy while involved with other ponies back in story one? Did she learn anything from having been Blossomforth's first time while being involved with other ponies back in story one? Has she learned anything at all about faithfulness? Or even about not complicating things with uninvolved ponies? Apparently a great big "No!" Did the entire first Winningverse story even mean anything? At this point I feel like I've wasted probably a half million words worth of reading about a character that has more or less not grown in the slightest.
Had this taken place earlier in Cloud's character arc I could maybe have grimaced and bore it, but now? Ugh.
I dunno. This one just didn't really do it for me, I guess. I felt really bored reading the banter and the emotional resolution didn't click with me either.
I kinda of agree with 7167956 in that it wasn't a satisfying way to resolve this thread between the two of them. Feels hollow.
All that said, I'm sticking til the end with this one, if just to see how it all really ends.
I want to focus for a moment on this line: I kind of think this line is sort of emblematic of the problems with a lot of the more recent chapters, where the characters are saying and doing things that don't quite line up with the situation or characterization or whatever.
I realize that this line I've quoted is a call back to the original work with Cloud, but it's a clumsy callback that fails to really understand the line in context. "And then we made love" is probably one of the more significant lines in the story; it represents a turning point, both for Cloud and the story in general, where Cloud has started to fall in love with somepony--something she's essentially been avoiding--and is, surprisingly, okay with it to a degree. Suddenly Derpy isn't just someone she's causally having sex with, but someone she cares about (and her family) on a far deeper level. This line makes no sense here, or, at least, one dearly hopes it isn't meant to imply that Twilight's fallen that hard for Cloud*.
And there's other oddities here: As I've said before, it really didn't make much sense for Twilight to go out on a date with someone who's essentially a secondary friend, at best, on the eve of her brother's wedding. Again, we run into this problem here. It doesn't make sense for Cloud--and let us be clear here, Cloud basically shows up on Twilight's doorstep and ropes her into a 'date' with no preparation or such--It doesn't make sense for Cloud to be trying to engage in a sort of casual sexual relationship with another pony when that same sort of sleeping around destroyed her relationship with Derpy. It's one thing for Cloud to be having sex with one of her special friends, ponies she's been playing third pony for years and years to, like Lyra and Bon Bon, it's quite another thing for her to go out and start new relationships. I don't think its realistic for Cloud to be exclusive to Fluttershy and Blossomforth, yet it's something else all together for her to go out and act as if she's still an unattached pony.
Moreover, it makes even less sense for her to be doing this just after establishing a relationship, a serious one, and one that is probably a bit tender and fragile.
Similarly, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense for Cloud to know about Twilight's family issues--I get that she doesn't break off her relationship with Derpy completely, but, again, they literally just broke up and talking about this sort of thing is definitely more intimate and personal than Derpy really ought to be engaging in.
7167956 makes a very good point as well: in many ways, at least, outside of oddities that have shown up in recent chapters, Study reads somewhere between a cautionary tale and an 'in the mirror darkly' take on the original Winningverse story. In the Life of a Winning Pony, Cloud basically sleeps around and the biggest "problem" that comes from it is falling in love with three separate ponies, and being unable to resolve this. Yet this story is very much built around the consequences of causal sex. In the beginning, Cloud gets thrown in jail, forcing Rainbow to toss away her boon for her friend. Then it turns out that Shining has a bastard daughter he knows nothing about. From there, Cloud implies that her father has a causal sexual relationship with Vinyl's mother (or more to the point, it seems implied that her father is rumored to sleep with secretaries/other mares in general in his office: whether he's actually in a committed but secret relationship with Vinyl's mother is something that's unanswered.) From there, we find out that Twilight's mom has had a secret sexual relationship on the side too--one that led to Twilight gaining and losing a sister (who, in turn, spent 15 or something years lost in a system that doesn't care that much.) And on top of all that, Twilight has lost her time with Dinky--at least temporarily--and it wouldn't be unsurprising if Sparkler gets mad at her too. The only thing missing is STIs.
The logical conclusion might not be that 'casual sex is bad'--I think we can agree that Twilight is too intelligent to make broad statements of that sort, yet she has a lot of data that suggests that it isn't a good thing either.
To me, I think the appropriate response to Cloud's overtures in this chapter would have been Twilight putting the brakes on their "relationship" (I thought Cloud was just trying to show her how dating could work?) and pointing out that she didn't want to end up like her brother, or her parents, and end up pregnant or whatever else. I don't think Twilight could go back to seeing Cloud as some sort of depraved individual like she did at the beginning of the story, yet at the same time she's seen far too many ponies get seriously hurt to just jump in bed with Cloud.
*A better, more Twilightish line might be "And then they had casual sex"
They laid together afterwards, not lied.
Oooh boy. I'd forgotten this happened. THE PLOT THICKENS
7168238 I think that part of my frustration/disappointment with this turn of events is that Twilight seemed uniquely in a position to be that mare that turns down Cloud after everything. Not in a harsh, or a bad way... I think anyone who made it through both stories thinking that Twilight would conclude that Clouds way of thinking was "wrong" was deluding themselves. However, there's still a lot of room between deciding that something is not wrong and deciding that it is right for you.
As noted by 7168914 as well, having examined a variety of relationships and seen the fallout firsthand from them, she was in a good place to filter it all through her personality and come up with her own boundaries and attitudes on sex, and they would be no more wrong than Cloud's because they would be true to her. She could have accepted Cloud, forgiven her parents, and learned from all of them before applying it to a healthy relationship in the style that she wanted in the future. Instead, by having this scene so close to the end of the tale, it feels like she has simply been won over by Cloud's views... That despite their differing histories and personalities, this was a story about her loosening up and seeing that Cloud is right about sex... And that just doesn't seem to do justice the the journey that she traveled to get there.
Well, that was disappointing. Rather than dealing with the serious problems from last chapter you swept them under the rug with a throwaway line that did nothing to deal with them, and then you added even more crippling problems on top of this mess as others have already pointed out in great detail so I won't waste time repeating what they have already said. About the only difference between me and someone like 7168438 is that the crippling problems that brought down the original story and comments from several writers in this universe leave me completely unsurprised at this turn of events so I'm really just mildly disappointed rather than angry like I was when the first story went off a cliff. I'll probably still read the rest of this because I don't expect there to be much more, but I have given it a thumbs down and removed it from my favorites list.
7167912
That wouldn't work, since love babies only happen when they want one to happen, and considering the situation, I don't think that's the case.
7168051 More so, thanks to MLP's adverse Gender Ratio.
I apologize for any incorrect incorrect assumptions I make here, and for the fact that my last few comments have been on the more critical side. While I might not preface everything with "in my opinion" or "I believe", that's very much what this all is.
Ponibius has said before he wants to finish this story, and the constraints of Life and Times haven't made writing Study as enjoyable as it could be. I believe the need to finish the story combined with writing a story that's released chapter by chapter and the constraints of writing a side story to Life and Times and its sequel, which both also do chapterly releases, are what gave us the latest chapters. In that, I think The Study of a Winning Pony is an example of what happens when all the story beats aren't locked in before starting a story. All of that wouldn't be a problem with traditional publishing, but because of the nature of chapterly releases you may find you've made too many promises in the earlier chapters that you just can't satisfactorily fulfill later on if you haven't got everything locked in. Especially if the other stories in the same world are also on-going at the time...
I'd be really interested to hear Ponibius' thoughts on the story as a whole after it's done, especially if he's happy how it turned out in the end. I don't mean this as a challenge or anything, I'm genuinely curious as he (you) has been expressing frustrations with the constraints before.
As for specific criticisms, I'm mainly concerned how these relationships fit in with New Life. Sparkler adopting Cloud as her "Momma", and Cloud becoming kind of a part of the Doo household somehow feel less impactful after the revelations about Sparkler, Dinky and the Sparkles. The relationship between the Doo family and the Sparkles in general is another thing I'm a bit curious and concerned about. While I appreciate the acknowledgement of those issues in this chapter it feels rather off-hand and handwave-y to me. And I suppose that brings me to possibly the main thing that makes me feel bad about the way this story seems to be ending.
The Study of a Winning Pony doesn't seem to resolve the storylines it opened. Twilight and Cloud's relationship seems to be resolved, as are Twi's issues with her parents, at least to some extent. However, the whole situation with the Doo family and the Sparkles is addressed but left almost wide open. Compare this to Life and Times where some possible future issues were left alone, like how Cloud, Blossom and Flutters' relationship would work out, while the current issues were dealt with. I suppose it's mainly a thing about how it feels, but I feel the emotional pay-off isn't there in Study.
All that said, I know the story isn't yet tagged as finished, and that between the end of Life and Times and the start of New Life there was a significant time skip when a lot of my issues could be addressed, be it in epilogue form or as a short sequel to Study with less constraints of having to work in the unwritten parts of Life and Times. I just felt it better to voice my thoughts now while it's still fresh.
I agree with other commenters about the "And then we made love" line feeling out of place due to the weight it was given in the original story and how the casualness of the act was emphasized by both ponies present. I'm not sure if "And then we had sex" would have been more fitting, but I can't help but feel it might have been a bit more Twilight. Them also having sex when they did does seem to directly contradict Life and Times, considering Flutters brought it up with Rainbow when they were leaving Canterlot and how Cloud referred to the discussion she had with Blossom, Derpy and Flutters. Personally, I think the story is better for them having sex like this rather than a quickie in Canterlot, but a direct contradiction is still what it is. Part of the reason why I feel all story beats weren't planned in advance in this story.
I'd feel horrible if I didn't add how much I love some of the warm and fuzzy moments this story, and this chapter, creates. The banter between characters is one of the highlights of the story for me, and that wouldn't change even if those issues mentioned above were left unresolved.
7169662
If they were going to have sex, they should have done so before tornado day, I think. I'm not the author, obviously, but I have the impression that Twilight having sex (with Cloud) was supposed to be the climax of the story. It's probably what was outlined. The problem is, I think that Twilight awaking to her parents crap and her relationship with (and concern that Dinky might be her niece) are far more compelling plot lines that took on a life of their own. In many ways, the story evolved out of world-revolves-around-Cloud as Twilight's own story developed--which, imo, is the hallmark of a good sidestory. And a lot of these recent chapters have been trying to force the story back onto the original outline where Cloud is far more important.
I kind of think Twilight should have slept with her early on, but after she found out about her family's fuckery, and then instantly regretted it/panicked that she was doing the same sort of crap her parents did, before confiding in Fluttershy (again) and working the stuff out. It'd give Fluttershy reason to know about Twilight's sex life, at least.
"...With me being an introvert...”
I'd like to note that's not quite true. Introverts are people who run out of energy at a higher rate when they are in social situations. They would enjoy themselves at a party, then go home straight to bed and crash. They might be the person who can stay home with a few good books and lose half a week, but still treasure their friendships and enjoy an outing, or the one who cowers at the thought of going out with people and stays home from everything.
Extroverts, meanwhile, GAIN energy, and by the end of the night they would be bouncing off the walls...until everyone leaves. Then, they might immediately pick apart anything they think went wrong. Or, they might just be too wired to sleep, and thus be useless tomorrow because their brain is So Done With Them Right Now, but they still can't wait to do it again.
Otherwise, remember the brain is a horribly confusing pile of vaguely useful mush and any generalization is going to get something wrong somewhere.
Happy writing!
7170261
Them having sex before Tornado Day was what I'd originally expected, as well. Well, Twi having sex with somepony, at the very least. However, if I recall correctly the relationship between Cloud and Twi at the time was such that had it happened, it could have come across rather badly.
Something to fact-check later for when the story is tagged as complete, I suppose.However, your alternate resolution of events could have been interesting, as well.Fluttershy knowing about Twilight's sex life did originally make me think it had been Flutters who'd slept with her. In this context, where it was Cloud, it could still have been explained as Cloud being honest about it with Flutters and Blossom between scenes when they were having their talks, were it not for the inconsistency with Life and Times and the time it was discussed.
The rest I mostly agree with, Twi's own storylines were really interesting.
"friendly nuzzle and I returned it"
"nuzzle, and"?
"a layer of cheese on top.”"
Ought that quotation mark to be there?
"slipped slightly and we suddenly"
"slightly, and"?
"my old reflexes to"
"reflex"?
"Cloud blinked. “Er ... are you saying you love me?”"
I imagine Cloud probably had some thoughts in the note of panic there...
"does bring up what should I do with you?"
Hm.
"does bring up the question of what I should do with you."?
"the two of us lied there in my"
"lay"?
"I know I had certainly"
"knew"?
"and evil grin on her"
"an evil"?
"Gave her a flat"
"I gave her"?
"a short, bark of"
Ought that comma to be there?
"as my head lied on her chest"
"head lay on" or "as I laid my head on", depending on what was meant?
"Especially when they're with you"
"when it's with"?
"had even got them"
"gotten"?
"content to lay with a pony"
"lie"?
Thoooooough depending on the particular meaning, actually, I could see this one working, and I think it might sound a bit better. I'll leave this comment anyway, though, in cast you think differently.
Squee
Good points by some of the more recent posters. As much as I campaigned against the Tornado Day possibility, that would have been a far more sensible place for it. If this was the compromise as opposed to that based on reader feedback, I have to admit that I deeply regret giving it.
7168914 This is a particularly good point. I didn't dwell on it, but the use of the "And then we made love."and line is part of what ticked me off so much. In the original story, Cloud eventually making love as opposed to just banging was a huge step for her character and her entangled relationships, and suddenly it just means so much less.
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I'm going to be addressing various issues at the end of the next and final chapter of Study when I post it up.
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I'm going to be addressing various issues at the end of the next and final chapter of Study when I post it up.
7170654 Is it going to be a reveal that this chapter was some sort of crazy dream and didn't actually happen?
Honestly, I was really hoping that the feedback given by so many different readers would prompt a few revisions, not just an attempt at damage control in the next chapter. If this one is only two chapters from the end, it wouldn't exactly be a huge rewrite to the overall story.
7170676
No.
For me to be happy with this story, I would have to do a top-down rewrite of the whole story. Not just a few revisions, and that would be no small project that could be quickly done. And to be frank, I am both mentally and physically exhausted with this story. I need to move on and do things that actually let me be happy.
7170686 When you have so many people telling you something is a bad idea, it's time to listen. Notice how of all the negative comments on this chapter, only one has a downvote, and it only has one? There's a consensus here, and unfortunately it's not a good one for the current direction of the story and verse.
Sure, you are five feet from the finish line and you just want to cross and be done with it, and I can understand that. But for the sake of sensible plot developments, please.
Edit: Haha, yeah, I was probably asking for downvotes on this comment, but that doesn't change my point.
7170652
I do apologize for any discouragement my comments may have caused... As I mentioned in my original post, I know that they come too late in the story to be constructive feedback for this tale at least. But after reading 300,000 (!) words, you have clearly gotten me invested in the story and I needed to let it out and discuss it with other readers.
While I have not written anything Pony related, I have done similar writing works to this, written and posted a chapter at a time over long stretches, and I have struggled with stories that were like unruly dogs, straining to break the leash and disappear into the brush instead of getting where they were supposed to be led. Some I wrangled through to completion... A few I simply let wither and die, their unfinished natures haunting me. I applaud that you managed to see this through to the end (300,000 words!) to reach some conclusion.
I'm very curious to read your thoughts on the story, and to read the conclusions that Twilight arrives at in the final summation. I do think that the story planted some very interesting seeds which I hope to see explored sometime in the future as well.
I have no idea what it is specifically about the dialogue but in a lot of places in the story it feels choppy, I really don't want to make this comment because it feels immensely unhelpful but it does feel like there is something different about the flow of the dialogue.
7170652
Thanks, I'm looking forward to hearing your overall thoughts on the story. Though with this 7170686 and other comments and blogposts I suppose I might already have a pretty good idea... I'm sorry, Ponibius, and I do commend you on actually soldiering through with the story to finally finish it after all this time. Three and a half years writing a story published as it's being written is a pretty huge undertaking. If anything, seeing all this has made me hate that system way more than I did before, even if it has its pros.
I also apologize for possibly contributing to that mental exhaustion in any way.
7170696
For what it's worth, at least I didn't expect or want Ponibius to go and suffer through the whole story again. I mean, I am not an editor or co-author, I'm a reader and a consumer, discussing how I felt about the story recently and the problems I'm seeing in it. I do agree with your sentiment since I am worried how this will affect the Winningverse as a whole, but the attitude I just can't agree with.
It is a shame, but the fact that Study is (was) being written as a sort of companion piece to Life and Times seems to be its biggest problem*, at least to me. At the very least, those are the things that jump out at me, and it would seem I'm not the only one. That isn't something Ponibius could really resolve without extensive work put into it, like he points out himself. I'll have to do a readthrough once the final chapter is published, but my suspicion at the moment is that the story will read and feel much better if I try and read it as its own story and ignore the possible issues with Life and Times and New Life. Restrictions breed creativity, but too many restrictions have the opposite effect.
*though there is the Doo and Sparkle situation that's all this story's own, which I feel didn't have the resolution it deserved as of yet
I guess what I'm trying to say is that while I share the concern and hope Ponibius and Chengar have something figured out I'm also very sympathetic to Ponibius' situation here. I'd love to see a revised and updated version of this story, I really would, but I just can't imagine demanding the author do something he clearly would hate to do...
I'd also point out that there are, at this time, 650 views on the latest chapter, and maybe like half-a-dozen people who commented on it with these issues. Even if a bunch of those were repeat views I'm not sure I'd call that a consensus or put weight on how there are "so many" people talking about this. Though I suppose everything's relative, so eh.
7170686 Well, that explains the problems here. There is no way you are going to be able to write well if you feel like that so it is really not surprising things have fallen apart.
Once you get the last chapter up, I think it would be a good idea to do a big detailed blog post about what happened with you personally and the external interactions with the other stories to get to this point. It should help you both clarify and vent your frustrations to help you move on, and it will help us better understand what happened here and what you think you should have done to take some of the edge off our grievances. You can also throw up a bit of an outline of changes you would make in a top-down rewrite even if you have no plans to do it which should help you get your regrets out and help us understand what you would have liked to do if you weren't so frustrated.
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I don't really expect it either, but I also don't really see it as particularly necessary. As has been detailed by a number of different commenters on this last chapter, there are a lot of themes to the story that could be wrapped up quite nicely with just a few modifications to the ending. A better handling of the reunion last chapter to deal with those concerns, and then a more sensible end to the date in this one.
I've been talking with some other people about this out of the comments section, and I think what really frustrates me about this is the consequences for the Winningverse as a whole. If this was just a standalone story, I'd probably just complain a bit and then downvote and move on, like a few other examples I can think of. But if this is canon to the 'verse, then any number of other stories later on could be affected by what happened here. If I want to kick the dust off my heels and move on, I'd have to move on from the Winningverse as a whole. Before yesterday, I couldn't have imagined wanting to do that. When you write in a shared universe, there's a larger responsibility at play than just what you write or whether or not you get tired of the story and want it to end.
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By more sensible I assume you mean Twilight and Cloud not having sex? Who would Twilight have had sex with, then? I mean, that is one of the things Life and Times pretty much forces a story dealing with Twi's point of view in this timeframe to address. Considering the emotional weight Twi puts on her first time, and how long it took for her to feel comfortable with the idea that wouldn't be a quick-and-easy fix to implement, I don't think. If you meant something else, though, I'd be interested to hear it.
On the rest, yeah, I agree with the concerns and the sort of responsibility writing in a shared universe might bring. I just can't seem to make myself care as strongly about it as you do.
I suppose most of my fight was spent like three years ago on Ponychan, butI do feel you. In any case, are there really that many on-going Winningverse stories, anyways? The most recent non-Chengar or Ponibius story was updated last October. Chengar, in a comment 7143125 on the previous chapter, assured us thatwhich makes me assume there is a plan. Maybe I'm just being too hopeful and positive about it, though.