The Interview of a Winning Pony
The Study of a Winning Pony
Chapter 11: The Interview of a Winning Pony
Rainbow Dash is terrible at apologies. I have determined that this is a fundamental law of the universe. Like gravity, mathematics, that fact that Applejack couldn’t lie to save her life, Star Swirl's fourth law of quantum trans-morphic phaseology, or that Pinkie Pie defies any kind of explanation whatsoever. I find a level of comfort in certain things being undoubtedly true. Not that I’m not annoyed by those facts sometimes.
“So, um, yeah.” Rainbow Dash looked away from me as she rubbed at one of her forelegs. “It wasn’t completely radical what happened to you yesterday at the party.”
“Nooo, Dashie,” Pinkie whined. “That isn’t how an apology is supposed to work. You need to apologize for what you did to Twilight, not just say something bad happened.”
I rubbed my forehead as I felt the beginning of a headache. Pinkie and Dash had come to the library to apologize for what they had done to me at the “Let’s Get Twilight A Date” party. Unfortunately, progress had ground to a standstill with Dash’s fourth failed attempt. Applejack hadn’t had nearly as much trouble when I had met her in the market to pick up a few things. I was beginning to suspect that Pinkie had come over to make sure that Dash actually went through with the apology instead of blowing it off.
Dash stomped a hoof. “Well, it’s hard and dumb.”
“No. it isn’t!” Pinkie protested. “Here, let me show you!” Before I had time to react, Pinkie was on the floor and had her forelegs wrapped around my own. “Twilight! I’m sooo sorry!” she wailed, tears streaming down her face as she looked up at me with quivering lips. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you, or make you feel bad, or hook you up with a pony who already had a special somepony and isn’t into mares anyways, because oops, sometimes I gets a bit excited about something and don’t quite think it through! Can you ever forgive me!?” With that said, the waterworks suddenly stopped and she looked up at me with an expression that was far more serious then I was used to out of my hard-partying friend. “But no, seriously, I am trying to apologize here. Please accept my apology.”
I sighed as I tried to keep from falling over. “It’s fine, Pinkie. I know you didn’t mean to hurt my feelings. How about we just put this behind us?”
“Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie hopped back to her hooves and gave me a hug that caused me to groan from the pressure. “You’re such a great friend, Twilight!”
“Oh come on!” Dash protested. “You’re going to let her off the hook just like that!?”
I frowned at my stubborn friend. “Yes, because she gave me a sincere apology. Pinkie told me exactly what she was sorry for, and I believed her.” I shrugged as best I could in Pinkie’s hug. “So I forgave her, simple as that.”
Dash grumbled something I couldn’t make out.
“That didn’t sound like an apology either,” Pinkie said, walking back over to our friend. “Don’t make this so hard.”
Dash’s wings flared out. “But Twilight should totally go out with Raindrops! I went through all that trouble to get her with the most awesome pony available in Ponyville. Ya know, other than me.”
“Because you’re dating me, right Dash?” Pinkie wrapped Dash up in a tight hug that I was pretty sure threatened to block off Dash’s windpipe. “And we’re so lovey-dovey and huggy-wuggy!”
“Yeah ... right Pinks,” Dash gasped out.
“I didn’t ask for any of that, Dash,” I said firmly. “Nopony asked me. How would you have felt if I did something like that to you?”
The fact nopony had even consulted me over if I was even interested in dating—which I wasn’t—was one of the bigger sticking points with me. I’m sure I was more than capable of getting a date for myself once I read some books on the subject. It couldn’t be that hard. No reason for my friends to go to such lengths for me. I wasn’t that socially pathetic, right?
“I think it would be awesome,” Dash said without a moment’s hesitation. It was almost as though she didn’t even think about what she was saying.
“You still need to apologize,” Pinkie stated with firmness I wasn’t use to from my hard-partying friend.
Dash groaned and applied her hoof to her face. “Okay, fine! I’m sorry ... for things.”
“What type of ‘things’?” I asked. Sure, I could have let Dash off the hook right then, but she really needed to get better at her apologies. Also, I was still pretty upset from the previous night. I’m not a perfect pony.
Dash gnashed her teeth. “For doing all that stuff without asking first.” She looked at the ground and let out a long sigh. “And for the whole not wanting you to die alone thing. That wasn’t cool.”
Now that sounded more like an apology. “I forgive you, Dash. Was that so hard?” I wasn’t exactly happy with how all my friends had treated me the night before, but I didn’t want to make it a bigger deal than it already was. Which meant I was going to have to let bygones be bygones.
“Yes,” Dash said bitterly. “So are we cool now?”
I gave Dash a smile to try and put her at ease. “Yeah, we’re cool.”
Dash let out a huff. “Finally. So, do you want to just hang out today? You should totally join us for pranking one of these days, Twilight.”
I shook my head. “Sorry, I have other things I need to take care of today.”
“So, are you really doing some big report-thingy, or is this just a really clever attempt to bang Cloud Kicker?” Pinkie asked as she rubbed her chin.
I coughed a couple of times before I could answer. “It’s an honest, straightforward report, Pinkie. I’m not doing anything other than interviewing her. And no—” I cut Pinkie off before she could say anything, “—that isn’t a euphemism for sex in any way, shape, or manner.”
Pinkie smiled one of those innocent, oblivious smiles of hers. “Okie dokie lokie then!” She pulled a wrapped candy from out of her mane. “Taffy?”
I took the offered taffy. “Sure.”
“So you're sure you don’t want my help with your project?” Spike asked.
“I’m sure,” I said, trotting down one of Ponyville’s streets on the way to Rarity’s. Spike was perched on my back, and he was leaning around to get a better look at me. “I’ll be fine for one interview, Spike. Really, just enjoy your day collecting gems with Rarity.”
“Okay then.” Spike sounded less than convinced by my assurances. I wasn’t wild about just dumping Spike on Rarity like this, both because I didn’t like imposing on my friend and because I really was trying to do better where Spike was concerned. But I felt a lot better doing this than having Spike around when I interviewed Cloud Kicker. I didn’t even want to think about Cloud Kicker being interesting if Spike was on hoof.
I decided to change the subject to something a little happier. “So, I was thinking about going to visit Canterlot soon. You want to come? We can visit any family that’s in town.”
“Sure,” Spike said. “It’s been a while since I saw everypony. Anything else you were planning?”
I considered my answer for a moment. “Well, assuming they aren’t busy or anything, it’s always nice to see the Princesses. We can’t just bother them for personal reasons.” Princess Luna’s sociology project aside, I really had to wonder what she was thinking when she assigned me this project. “I was also hoping to do some research and pick up a few things, like the materials I need for my new summoning circle. It’s easier to just pick a lot of them up in Canterlot than it is to have them shipped to Ponyville.” I really needed to make a list for all that.
Spike gave me a hopeful smile. “Can I help?”
“I don’t see why not,” I told him. “It’d be nice to just walk around Canterlot, wouldn’t it?”
“You betcha,” he confirmed. He leaned in to whisper to me. “Can we just not buy anything ... weird, like last time? The guards were looking at us like we were about to blow up Canterlot.” I didn’t know what his problem was. Sure, a lot of the materials I had gathered were military-grade, or had other questionable uses, or could be used in combinations that were highly illegal. But just because I sometimes caused explosions, ripped holes in reality, or produced other disasters didn’t mean I didn’t know what I was doing. Sometimes things didn’t work out the way I planned. Science is volatile at times, and science must march on.
“We had perfectly legitimate reasons for having what we did,” I assured him.
Spike fixed me with an incredulous look. “Uh-huh, suuure,” Spike snarked. “I’ll remember that next time the Guard tackles me to the ground.”
I groaned irritably. “It was just the one time! You were fine. The soot marks cleaned right off your scales, and the gendarmerie only tackled us a little.”
Spike narrowed his eyes at me. “We almost went to jail.”
“Almost doesn’t count,” I said wisely. “Everything got sorted out eventually.”
“Yeah, after they figured out shackles don’t fit baby dragons so well,” Spike grumbled.
I shook my head at my assistant’s whining. “Well, we know what not to do next time, don’t we?” Not screaming in terror at one of my bags being dropped would be a good start.
“Not do anything that will make the Guard arrest us?” Spike asked sarcastically.
“Yes, Spike,” I snarked back. “That’s exactly what we should do.”
Silence fell over the two of us for a few minutes as I trotted down the street. It had long since become uncomfortable when Spike finally broke it. “So why did you leave the party early?”
I nearly stumbled, probably due to a rock that had found itself in the road. “I just felt like leaving,” I said, trying to brush the matter aside.
“You didn’t ask me if I wanted to leave with you,” Spike said dully. A pang of guilt clutched at my heart. I was afraid to look back at him to see what expression he wore on his face.
“You looked like you were enjoying yourself, and I didn’t want to disturb you.” The excuse sounded lame even to my own ears. I looked back at him with a smile intended to allay his worries, but he frowned back at me.
He stared at me for a few seconds before speaking. “Did you freak out because everypony was trying to get you a date?”
I winced at the piercing question. I had hoped that Spike hadn’t been told why that whole party had been set up, but on reflection, that had been hopelessly naive on my part. Bad enough that my friends had gotten it into their heads that I needed a special somepony, worse still that they had gotten Spike into the mess too. I decided it was best to be honest with Spike.
“It’s nothing to get worried about,” I told him. “The girls thought I needed some help getting a special somepony. They were just being silly. You know how they can get.”
“You have kinda never been on a date before, Twilight,” he teased. “Unless you’ve been holding out on me.”
“And what’s the matter if I’ve never been on a date before?” I asked, sounding more defensive than I intended to.
Spike shrugged. “I don’t know, just seems like the thing most ponies do. Don’t ya think?”
I let out an annoyed huff. Was Spike getting on my friends’ bandwagon too? That was not something I needed. “Well it’s not something I’m into. I can spend my time doing something a lot more useful than looking for a special somepony.”
I felt Spike tap his talons on my neck. “If you say so. Just saying, your friends might have a point.”
I shook my head, glad that it looked like I had put that matter to rest. “Don’t worry about it. After this weekend, things will go back to normal, and we’ll get to visit everypony in Canterlot. Just enjoy spending some time with Rarity, and get some nice gems for yourself.”
Spike licked his lips. “Mmm, Rarity and gems. That’s a combo I can enjoy.”
Spike was an easy dragon to please.
I found myself pacing about the library. Everything was as ready as it was going to be. I had done my research, conducted interviews with ponies that knew Cloud Kicker, made notes, carefully prepared questions, and had my supplies ready. Any minute now, Cloud Kicker was going to be opening that door, and we would start the interview. I stopped and tried to take a calming breath, reminding myself that I was going to get through this interview, write the report, turn it in, and get my A-plus. Just like every other report I have ever written. Nice, easy, simple.
I had gone up against monsters from the Everfree Forest, Nightmare Moon, and Discord. I was not going to let some sex-obsessed pony beat me. Some sexual innuendo was not going to be the obstacle that kept me from reaching my objective of a complete report. I knew what Cloud Kicker was all about now, and I was ready for her.
There was a knock on the door, and I jumped despite myself. I felt irritated at my overreaction. I promised I wouldn’t let Cloud Kicker get to me, and this was not a good start. I breathed in and out to calm my nerves. Reminding myself not to walk too quickly and seem impatient—no point letting the shark smell blood in the water—I walked up to the front door and opened it. On the other side, I saw Cloud Kicker giving me a big grin.
I gave her my own smile, though it didn’t feel particularly natural at the moment. “Hi, Cloud Kicker. Thanks for coming.”
She nodded to me. “Heya, Duchess.” My ear flicked at that nickname.
I stepped back and opened the door wider to let her enter the library. “You ready for our interview, then?”
“S'why I'm here.” Cloud Kicker walked into the library, and I closed the door behind her. So far so good. She might just be waiting for the right moment to strike, but she hadn’t opened up by hitting on me like I expected. According to my timetable, there was about an eighty-five percent chance she would ask to engage in intercourse within the first five minutes of the interview.
I motioned towards the library table. “Feel free to make yourself comfortable.”
“Sure.” Cloud Kicker sat down on one of the cushions I had by the table. “So, what's the deal here? Standard you ask questions, I answer them?” She fixed me with one of her typical sultry grins. “Or is this gonna be more of a hooves-on exam?”
My eyes rolled towards the ceiling. Obviously I had gotten my hopes up about her not hitting on me. The good part was that my timetable was holding up quite nicely, and I could deal with what was planned for and expected. “Just a standard series of questions. Nothing hooves-on about it,” I said with special emphasis. “Shouldn't be anything difficult. I just ask my questions—and as long as you’re comfortable with them—answer them to the best of your ability.”
“I can do that.” Her smile turned into a teasing pout. “Though I was hoping for something a bit more fun.”
“I'm afraid interviews weren't designed to be fun,” I calmly informed her. “They’re supposed to gather information from an interviewee.”
She sighed and shrugged. “Too bad. Maybe we can have fun afterwards.” I sincerely doubted that. “Got any snacks? I could use an eclair or a donut. Maybe both.”
What is sad is that I had actually foreseen her continued attempts to ruin food groups for me. I still hadn’t gone to Sugarcube Corner to shop since the eclair incident. Just looking at the store was enough to make me feel queasy now. At least I had managed to keep my composure here.
I started my way to the kitchen. “I think Spike cut up some vegetables. We also have some cookies and crackers. If you want something to drink, we have some juice and tea.”
“I'm good for now. Not really hungry,” she said dismissively. Okay, now I was sure she had done that to get a rise out of me. “Where's Spike at, anyway?”
It didn’t exactly take a mental giant to figure out what Cloud Kicker was getting at: no doubt she wanted to know if there were going to be any major obstacles to her trying to bed me. I was going to give her the benefit of the doubt that even she wouldn’t want a child to interrupt the act, if for no other reason than it would ruin the mood. An especially cynical side of me regretted sending Spike away. If he had been here, then Cloud Kicker would have been considerably restricted in what she might have been willing to pull. But, at the end of the day, I knew I had made the right decision. I could withstand Cloud Kicker’s sexual teasing, but the same teasing could scar Spike for life.
“He's at Rarity's,” I said. “They’re going out to collect some gems for her work. Since I wanted to be able to concentrate on this interview, Rarity doesn’t like digging in the dirt, and Spike always likes to have a few more gems to chew on, it all kinda worked out.”
Cloud Kicker nodded. “Plus, we don't have to worry about the baby dragon overhearing and asking questions.”
“We ... might be covering some adult topics I would prefer he not hear at this point in his life,” I acknowledged.
“Yeah, and finding ways to give good but kid-appropriate answers would be hard,” she said.
“Right, and I want to make this as scientific an interview as possible,” adding emphasis to the one word in the hopes that it would get across to Cloud Kicker I wanted to keep this professional. Most likely in vain, if I was going to be honest. “That’s why these things are usually done on a one-to-one basis.”
“Okay then.” Cloud Kicker leaned on the table. “So let’s get started.”
“Sounds good to me.” I sat down opposite of her—exactly, geometrically opposite. I levitated over the paperwork I had prepared for the interview and pulled out a pair of sheets from the pile and placed them in front of Cloud Kicker, along with a pen and inkwell. “Just need you to sign that to release this interview for the purposes of this study—both for my purposes and the university’s.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Her eyes glided over the forms, probably just to make sure there wasn’t anything objectionable in them. “Standard stuff.” She dipped the pen into the inkwell and promptly signed the forms.
I pulled the papers back over to me and looked them over to make sure everything was filled out correctly. “Alright, everything looks good.” I put the forms away in one of the sleeves of the folder I had for the project. I put the folder down on the table and faced Cloud Kicker. “Before we start, are there any topics you don't want to discuss? While this study is intended to be all-encompassing, it shouldn't make you terribly uncomfortable either.”
It was traditional to cover these types of things before an interview. There wasn’t any sense asking questions about topics an interviewee wasn’t going to answer anyways, or could even drive the interviewee to walk away from the interview. Worse, an interviewer or the institution she represented could gain a bad reputation for such conduct.
Cloud Kicker seemed to consider my question for a moment before answering. “Some Flight Camp stuff, and some secrets that aren't mine to tell. Aside from that, we should be fine.” She thought for a moment before continuing. "Fluttershy’s off-limits. Some stuff about Rainbow is sensitive, too.”
My eyebrow rose at the topics that had been restricted, but I didn’t press. Instead I just wrote down notes on a notepad. It wasn’t surprising to me that whatever had happened at Flight Camp was off-limits—frustrating to a degree, but not surprising. I just wished I could get a little more information on what happened at Flight Camp instead of everypony clamming up about it.
I also wondered what it was about Fluttershy that she specifically didn’t want to talk about? I could think of a few answers, but I didn’t have nearly enough evidence for a solid theory. I could come up with any number of scenarios for why she might not want to talk about Dash. I could only imagine the type of trouble she was capable of getting into when she was younger.
I looked over my list of interview questions, making another check to make sure they were as good as they could be. Confirming that everything was good, I cast a spell and a quill next to some ink floated up and wet itself. It then hovered over a stack of papers I had set up.
“I cast a spell that will cause this quill to record everything we say,” I explained, pointing at the now-enchanted quill.
“Hey, anything that keeps your hooves, mouth, and horn free is fine by me.” Cloud Kicker wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.
I decided to ignore her provocation. “So, how about we start with some early stuff? What can you tell me about your parents?”
“Well, they're both career Guard,” she said.
I decided I needed to clarify a bit more to get more of an answer. It would be nice to have a bit more biographical information before moving on. “Where did they both come from?”
Cloud Kicker gave me a mischievous smirk. “My grandparents, presumably.”
I sighed with exacerbation. This was going to be a long interview if she didn’t take it seriously. “Okay, so how did the two of them meet?”
“At West Hoof. They were in the same class,” she said.
Finally getting somewhere, I pressed one. “So when did they marry?”
“Pretty soon after graduation.” She gave me a questioning glance. “Didn't you interview my mom already?”
“I did,” I grumbled, remembering the less than helpful interview with the almost absurdly stoic and terse pony. I decided to avoid that issue in order to not offend Cloud Kicker. Most ponies didn’t react well to having anything bad said about their mothers.
Really, I just wanted to get some additional biographical information and see if Cloud Kicker could give any interesting new bits of information I hadn’t run across yet. From what I had read, these types of questions also helped to make an interviewee more comfortable before we got to more personal questions. “Do you know how long they were married before you were born?”
Cloud Kicker looked up as she thought the question over. “A couple years. Wanted to get settled in before they tried for a foal. I was born at the Guard hospital in Canterlot.”
I double-checked to make sure that my transcription spell was working before continuing. We were going to start to get to some of the more interesting questions, and I didn’t want to lose anything.
Seeing that the spell had written everything said during the conversation, I turned back to Cloud Kicker. “Any fond memories from your early childhood?”
“The usual stuff,” she said. “Hanging out with parents and such. It was pretty cool to do some training with them. Mom and Dad were always taking a bit of time to teach me stuff that would be helpful in the Guard, like how to use a pair of wingblades.” She smiled serenely. “It wasn’t easy, but those are some of my best memories.”
I marked down some notes on that and regretted how I couldn’t get Nimbus to be a more cooperative interview subject. Still, I had gotten Cloud Kicker to open up a bit. “How would you describe your family?”
“I...” Cloud Kicker paused for a moment before shrugging. “They're family. We can be a bit closed-off at times, but we know what's important.”
The manner in which she had answered piqued my curiosity, and so I decided to ask a follow up question. “Closed off? In what manner?”
“We don't go for the whole hugs and kisses thing,” she said impassively.
“Any reason for that?” I asked, pushing the line of questioning.
She gave my question a shrug. “It's just how they work. Our clan kinda sticks to the old ways ... like being a clan at all.”
The Kicker Clan was notable for being the last of the pegasus clans, dating back all the way to old Pegasopolis, the rest having been disbanded at the end of the Lunar Rebellion nine centuries ago. I knew from my own interactions with Kickers in the Guard that they could be sticklers for tradition and old ways of doing things. They had adapted somewhat to changes over the centuries, but they had struck pretty rigidly to at least a sense of stoicism and austerity. It seemed that those traditions extended to the treatment of their children as well.
I thought that would make for a good opportunity to transition to one of the other questions on my list. I didn’t like deviating from the ordering of my list, in fact, it made me cringe inside, but you had to be at least somewhat adaptable when conducting an interview. “What's it like being a member of the Kicker Clan?”
There was a long pause before Cloud Kicker finally answered. “I wouldn't trade it for anything.”
Given the far-off look Cloud Kicker was giving, I was guessing she was reminiscing on her clan. I would have liked a bit more elaboration on one of the more unique families in Equestria, and this struck me as the perfect time to gather more information. “What's it like growing up being a Kicker?”
“Well, you get a lot more combat training than the average filly,” Cloud Kicker offered. “We're not crazy about it or anything, but I got a couple hours of training a week from pretty early on.”
I leaned towards my interviewee, my interest piqued at this line of questions. “Anything else noteworthy about growing up as a Kicker? It is a pretty well-known family.”
Cloud Kicker crossed her forelegs over her chest and looked up at the ceiling while she thought. “Well, it's kinda assumed you're going into the Guard.”
I made some more notes, making sure to do some research on the Kicker Clan. The topic was starting to catch my interest. So much to read, so little time. “Is it generally expected for everypony in your clan to join the Guard?”
She nodded. “Pretty much, at least for one tour. It's not a bad deal; ponies who wanna start a business or something instead of being career Guard just do their four years, then use their saved up pay as startup money.”
I made sure to write down to look that up someday. It sounded like something that would be interesting to research. I wondered if I could make studying the Kicker Clan one of my study projects in the near future.
Alas, I needed to move on with my interview if I were to finish it before it became unpleasant. I looked down my list of questions to see where I was at. “Okay, so, do you have any siblings?” I, of course, knew the answer to this question, but it was considered the norm for an interview to ask questions as though you didn’t know the answer.
“I have a little sister named Alula,” Cloud Kicker said. “My cousins Storm and Star are kinda like that, too.”
I double checked my notes on Cloud Kicker’s family to double check I remembered her relations to Storm and Star. “Those are your cousins, right?”
“Yeah, I'm kinda like their big sister substitute and role model.” Cloud Kicker put on a big, goofy grin and chuckled. “I'm their role model, Celestia help them.”
One of my eyebrows cocked at the idea of Cloud Kicker being a role model for anypony. I had to bite back my first response and think for a moment to think of a more neutral manner to ask my question. “How did that come about?”
“The way it usually does. I was the cool, older kid,” she said.
I was afraid to think about how her cousins had turned out, and there wasn’t exactly a tactful way to ask ‘Did you end up turning your cousins into sexual deviants too?’ I could have asked more about her cousins, but I was disinclined to do so considering I wanted to get the information I needed to complete this project and finish it. That attitude, in turn, galled me; I had never cut corners like that before. I decided to just move on with my pre-planned line of questions. That was the safe path and would get me everything I needed. If I absolutely needed to, I could just meet with Cloud Kicker again. As much as I didn’t like that idea.
I rechecked the wording I had for my next question. “How would you describe your relationship with Alula?”
Cloud Kicker’s lips upturned into a gentle smile. “About normal for a big sis and little sis, I guess.”
I felt a pang over what it would have been like to have a little sister. I had to admit to being a little bit jealous of my friends Rarity and Applejack. Sparkler too for that matter. They each had their own little sisters to interact with, each with their own unique and wonderful dynamics. It was a shame that was never going to be something I was ever going to experience.
Cloud Kicker looking at me with a worried frown. “Everything okay?”
“It’s nothing, really.” I shook my head, a motion as much to shake old thoughts out of my head as a motion meant for Cloud Kicker. She looked like she was about to say something else when I cut her off. “Moving on. You said you were born in Canterlot. Did you live your entire childhood there?”
Cloud Kicker stared at me for a long moment that made me uncomfortable before finally speaking. “Nah, we moved around. Guard life and all that.”
I knew a good bit about that based on my big brother’s lifestyle. Shining was always moving to some new place in Equestria on one assignment or another. It had certainly made it harder to meet with him on occasion. His traveling demands had only increased since becoming Captain of the Royal Guard.
“How did that affect your life?” I asked.
She gave me a noncommittal shrug. “It was life.”
And another frustratingly terse answer from Cloud Kicker. I was beginning to worry I was going to have to pull out the metaphorical pliers to pull some real answers from her. This was not when I wanted the Kickers’ legendary stoicism to kick into effect.
I decided to press with another question to try and get Cloud Kicker to open up. “What were some of the places you lived?”
Cloud Kicker tapped at the top of the desk as she thought the question over. “Las Pegasus, Manehatten, Fillydelphia ... all over, really. Probably why I didn't end up with a Canterlot accent.”
“Where does your family live now?” I continued with the line of questions.
I sensed Cloud Kicker’s mood sour at the question. “Dad's in Canterlot, Mom's here.”
That struck me as a bit odd. “Is it normal for your parents to live separately?”
“No,” she said tersely, giving me the impression that she did not want to talk anymore about that. Was Cloud Kicker’s family having problems? I decided to see if I could subtly find out more.
“That just a temporary thing because of their duties to the Guard, then?”
There was a moment of silence between us, all of Cloud Kicker’s usual cheer and humor gone. “No comment.”
“Oookay then, moving on.” It seemed that Cloud Kicker wasn’t particularly wild about talking about certain aspects of her childhood and family. Unfortunately, there weren’t many ways I could make her talk about it against her will. It was probably best to go to my next group of questions—though now that I looked at them, it didn’t look like I was going to instantly move back into Cloud Kicker’s good graces. “So what was Flight Camp like?”
She ran a hoof through her mane and sighed. “Less than great. From what Rainbow tells me, you probably did your research.”
I thought of a neutral manner to express what I had discovered. It wouldn’t do for the interviewer to become too much of a factor in the interview. “I did find out that Flight Camp had been improperly managed during the year you were there.”
“Yeah,” was all she offered.
I rubbed the side of my head, trying to fight off a headache. “So that’s when you first met Rainbow Dash, right?”
Cloud Kicker gave a slight smile. “Yep, she’s the reason I moved out to Ponyville.”
I cocked an eyebrow at that answer. I knew she and Rainbow Dash were friends, but that didn’t sound like the basis for suddenly picking up and moving to a new town. I mean, sure, my moving to Ponyville hadn’t been expected on my part, but there were saving the world factors involved. “That was your sole reason for moving to Ponyville?”
Cloud Kicker cracked the barest smile. “Main reason I picked Ponyville, yeah.”
“Why not anywhere else, then?” I asked, a bit of a growl finding its way into the question. Did I have to beat her over the head with questions to keep from getting terse answers? I just wanted her to elaborate a little bit more.
She hesitated for a moment before answering. “Why go somewhere else when my PFF lived here?” I had to wonder why indeed? That answer sounded elusive to me.
I decided to be more direct in my questioning. Having open-ended questions had just let Cloud Kicker squirm out of them. “I’m sure there were other places you could have gone. You must have had other friends and family.”
“Dash has always been one of my best friends,” she said with a hint of annoyance. “She was there for me when I was going through a rough time.” An image of Cloud Kicker getting ‘help’ from one of my friends flashed in my brain. It was not an image I liked, not at all.
“And why would Rainbow Dash be a friend of yours?” My tone sounded more condescending than I intended, but I was starting to wonder if I even cared. Cloud Kicker was getting more under my skin by the minute.
One of Cloud Kicker’s ears flicked. “You alright there, Twilight? You seem kinda stressed.”
“I’m fine,” I growled. “Let’s just continue.” In my frustration, I had lost my place and started scanning my questions to find my place again, determined not to let Cloud Kicker derail the interview.
Cloud Kicker leaned forward against the table and smiled invitingly. “Come on, Duchess, we don’t need to ram our way through this. We can enjoy ourselves, you know.”
“I just want to get through this,” I said tersely. The type of enjoyment she was no doubt thinking about wouldn’t help with our forward progression for this interview.
“You know what they say about all work and no play,” she teased.
“I’m not interesting in ‘playing’ with you.” The harsh words came out before I thought about them.
Cloud Kicker flinched at that remark. “Okay, now I know we need to take a break. No offense, but you’ve been irritable and twitchy since I got here.”
“I told you, I’m fine!” I put my questions down on the table—more like slammed. “I just want to get through this interview, finish this report, and put this behind me.”
Cloud Kicker leaned away from me and seemed to study me for a moment. “You don’t look like you’re enjoying this. And the way Dash makes it sound, you love this type of thing. What gives?”
“Whether I’m enjoying this or not isn’t important,” I hissed. “Can we just proceed. And not have to worry about how much I’m enjoying this or not?” I let out a huff and went back to looking at my questions. “Also, it would be nice if you elaborated more on your answers now and again.”
Cloud Kicker stood up, and I felt a brief moment of panic as I wondered if she was going to call the interview off. “Look, it’s clear you're upset. Maybe we just got off on the wrong hoof?” She flashed me a smile. “How about we just head out and get some dinner? We can relax for an hour, get to know each other, and then hit this up fresh.”
“I’m not hungry.” It wasn’t hard to figure out what Cloud Kicker meant by wanting to get to know me, given how she had treated me thus far.
Cloud Kicker waved a hoof at the walls. “Then how about we just hang out here?” She gave me a sultry smirk. “I know some great massage techniques that would help you relax.”
I’d had enough of where this was going. I determined that the only way I was going to get Cloud Kicker to stop was to be direct with her. I couldn’t think of any other way we were going to continue with the interview other than putting my hoof down.
“I’m not interested in ‘banging’ you, okay?” I said, irritation and anger coating the words.
Cloud Kicker took a step back. “Oookay, you just had to say so. Really, if I'm making you uncomfortable, you just needed to say so, and I’ll stop.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure.”
She scowled at my sarcastic reply. “Hey, I’m serious, Duchess. You have a right to not feel uncomfortable because of me. That’s not how I do things.”
I snorted. “And how do you explain how you treat Blossomforth? Every time I see you two together, you are driving her into a fit with your teasing.”
I saw the barest flinch cross Cloud Kicker’s face. “That’s because she likes the teasing. She’s my best friend, and I stop when it looks like I’m pushing it too far.”
“Seem like that’s all the time given how embarrassed she always is around you,” I sneered.
Cloud Kicker slammed her forehooves on the table. “Hey! She’s my best friend. I would never hurt her.”
“If you say so,” my lack of conviction at Cloud Kicker’s assertions clear.
She drew in a long breath and rubbed at her forehead. “I don’t get it. When I asked Dash, she said you had thick skin, and that you’re always being sarcastic. I thought my teasing wasn’t really bothering you.”
“Well it did,” I told her. “Every time I’ve interacted with you was an exercise in humiliation and pain.”
She gave me a pleading look. “I had no idea I was upsetting you. I figured you were just being your usual smartflank self. You reminded me of Blossom. You know? Acting embarrassed but still being sarcastic and witty. Most ponies tell me right away when they’re uncomfortable or just avoid me. I didn’t see why it would be any different with you.”
“Well I got this project to do for starters.” I stomped a hoof on the ground. “I can’t just give up or risk failing. I’ve never failed anything, ever.” Hay, I got myself sent to the hospital multiple times trying to study Pinkie’s Pinkie Sense. Compared to that research project, I had gotten off pretty light in the physical punishment department.
Cloud Kicker walked up to me and gave me a serious look. “Really, just ask and I’ll stop the teasing. It’s that easy.”
I let out an exasperated groan. Did she really expect me to believe all that? “Sorry, but I’m not used to bullies stopping just because I ask nicely.”
Cloud Kicker’s ears wilted. “You ... think I’m a bully?” She sounded shocked that I would use that word to describe her.
“Well...” I thought over my words carefully, putting together a logical and neutral argument. “You make me uncomfortable, you make unwanted sexual comments towards me, and you embarrass me in front of other ponies. So ... yeah, I kinda think of you as a bully.”
“Oh...” Cloud Kicker’s head drooped towards the floor. “I’m sorry, then.” She looked away from me. “Look, I’ll ... call it off.”
One of my eyebrows cocked up at that. “Wait, what do you mean ‘call it off’?”
Cloud Kicker scuffed her hoof along the floor. “I agreed to the research thing to earn a few bits and have some fun, not to hurt your feelings. Nopony deserves to feel like they’re being bullied. So I’m going to return the bits and tell the school that I’m not doing it anymore due to personal reasons.”
I stood up from my seat, almost stumbling due to the shock of what I was hearing. “Wait, no! You can’t do that—my grade!” Naturally, my grades were the first objection that came to mind. This was quickly spinning out of control. I’d never failed a project. Ever.
Cloud Kicker put up a hoof to me. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve heard how important your grades are to you. I’ll explain to them that this was all on me and tell them that you did everything you were supposed to be doing and that I had to stop due to circumstances beyond your control. None of this has to splash on you.”
For a long moment I wasn’t sure how best to reply to that. This whole project was going to be over, just like that? Part of me relished the idea of no longer having to deal with Cloud Kicker. She was giving me a pretty solid way out of this whole mess. One that should keep me from getting into trouble with Princess Luna or anypony else.
That didn’t keep me from feeling like I had done something wrong. Cloud Kicker looked absolutely miserable, with her ears flat on her head and her gaze failing to meet mine. Had I actually hurt her feelings? Was that possible? I hadn’t seen anything really bother her until today. This behavior was significantly different than what I had come to expect from this pony.
Cloud Kicker walked towards the door, and I was seized by a need to know what was going on here. I ran in front of her to block her way. “Wait, just a couple more questions. Please.”
She shook her head at me. “Really, Twilight. It’s fine. You don’t like me, and I get that. No need to put yourself in a situation you’re uncomfortable with.” She flashed me a strained smile. “I won’t even come around the library anymore. If I really need a book, I’m sure Blossom will be willing to pick it up for me.”
I had to move back in front of Cloud Kicker as she tried to get around me. “No, I mean—” I groaned with frustration. “Look, put aside the research project. I just need to know, were you being honest about the thing about stopping if I asked?”
Cloud Kicker nodded slowly. “Yeah, I know where the line is.”
She had finally stopped trying to get to the door. “And you really didn’t mean to hurt my feelings? Even with all the teasing?”
“Of course not.” She shook her head. “I just do it for fun. A lot of my friends like it, either as complements or because they think it’s funny. I’d never do it to hurt anypony.”
The ridges of my eyebrows scrunched up. “Wait, they find that fun? You’re honestly saying that ponies like being teased by you?”
I saw a grin returning to her mouth. “You’re telling me that you and your best friends don’t tease one another?”
I thought that over for a second before answer. “Um, no, not really. I mean Dash and Applejack can be a bit competitive. There are also Pinkie and Dash’s pranks, but those are nothing like what you do.”
“Well there’s your problem.” She gave me a friendly jab to the shoulder. “You don’t understand how great friends work. A good friend will help another get up when they fall down; a great friend will laugh at them.”
I narrowed my eyes skeptically. “That doesn’t make sense.” I shook my head, feeling my anger rise once again over that last comment. “Are you saying I don’t even know how friendship works. I’ve spent the better part of two years now studying friendship? I think I would know whether I have good friends or not.”
Cloud Kicker looked away from me and scuffed her hoof on the floor. “Sorry, that didn’t come out the way I meant it to.” She looked at me with an apologetic smile. “I mean you and your friends have been running around blasting things with weaponized friendship. Of course you know what true friendship is. Once again, I’m sorry.”
I groaned and found myself looking up at the bookshelves. “Fine, apology accepted.”
She let out a relieved sigh. “Okay, what I really meant was that there are different kinds of friendship. How you interact with your friends differs with each one, right?”
I nodded. “Yeah, that’s true enough.”
“And how I interact with some of my friends is different then how you hang out with your friends.” She flashed me a grin that bordered on predatory. “Look, I’ll show you. Let’s have a mares’ night out. We can go out and get something to eat and drink, do some socializing. You know, just have fun as a couple of friends.”
I gave her a scowl. “I told you I don’t want to do ... that with you.”
She shook hoof to dismiss the idea. “Forget about banging. This is just some basic, friendly hanging out. We only go as far as you are comfortable with. Though if you do want to have a bang later that night...”
“Which I don’t,” I said firmly.
She shrugged, though she was still wearing that grin of hers. “If you say so. No means no after all. The offer is still going to be on the table, though. But I’d be fine if we just hang out too. I’m not just all about banging, you know.”
I could hardly believe I was actually considering this. Unfortunately, the fact of the matter was that I didn’t want to fail at this project. Even if I wouldn’t get into trouble for it. On some level, I knew I had failed in my assignment. Plus, at the end of the day, I believed in giving a pony a second chance. It was possible I had misjudged Cloud Kicker. Shouldn’t I give her another chance if she was sorry about her behavior earlier? At the very least I would end up guilt-free if Cloud Kicker proved to be as terrible as I thought she was during what was supposed to be a friendly dinner.
“And the sociology project?” I asked.
“If the mares’ night out works, then sure, we can keep it up if you like,” Cloud Kicker said.
I considered that for a moment to see if there was some sort of drawback I wasn’t seeing. “So we just hang out somewhere for a couple of hours? That’s it?”
“Yeah, and have a fun time.” Cloud Kicker leaned in a bit closer than I liked. “Though like I said, if you want to do more later, then I won’t say no.” She must have noticed the skeptical look I was giving her, because she moved back out of my personal space. “Seriously, this isn’t a trick, Duchess. You determine how far you want to go in any of this. All I’m asking for is a meal.”
I ran my hoof through my mane as I made my final decision. “Okay, sure. I’ll give you a second chance. But I don’t want you hitting on me the entire time. It’s just going to make me unhappy anyways.”
She gave me a slackened salute. “Sounds like a deal. So how does tomorrow evening sound?”
I cast a spell to retrieve my schedule and reviewed it. “Um, I guess I can work it in without any major issues.” I had slated that time to start writing the report, but it looked liked that had been derailed for now. “You want to meet here?”
Cloud Kicked smiled and nodded. “That should work.” She started towards the door. “See you then, Duchess.”
“Yeah, see you then,” I said, watching as Cloud Kicker opened the door to leave the library.
What had I just gotten myself into?
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Disaster. And shenanigans. And also, quite possibly, a date.
Well, you brought it upon yourself, Twilight.
Aww, Cloud Kicker was so sad when she was accused of being a bully. Cloud Kicker is one of the nicest ponies in all the Winningverse, and it really got to me when her ears dropped. Twilight was accusing her the entire time, and she didn't even know it. It's a bad feeling when you hurt someone when you didn't even know it was an issue. You don't know how to fix it.
Hook, line, and sinker.....
2552497Explosives? You mean confetti.
All of Twilight's friendships are rated 'E' for Everyone
Cloud Kicker is talking about upgrading to 'T' with their night out
Of course, CK is still willing to go all the way to 'M'
2803138
Actually...as much as I love Cloud Kicker, I kind of enjoyed Twilight telling her how horribly she was treating her. CK was kinda being a jerk throughout the story. I mean, it's one thing to have an established relationship with a pony and CK doing her normal flirting and teasing--but to do it to a pony she knew next to nothing about and just assumed based on some minor conversation with a third party that Twilight would be okay with CK's brand of, let's be frank, harassment? I'm sorry, but...no. Just no.
Alrighty, now I'm interested in seeing just how much more insight into Cloud Kicker's life Twilight's going to get over their dinner. Or rather, how much Cloud is willing to open up.
2803314 These are all true points. The thing is Cloud Kicker wasn't trying to be a jerk. She wasn't even aware she was being a jerk. She's probably so used to ponies being okay with her particular personality that she didn't even stop and think Twilight was really serious, and that's what makes it so sad for me.
On the flip side, Twilight was so set into thinking that Cloud Kicker was actively bullying her that she saw everything Cloud Kicker did in the worst possible light. She was almost disgusted that Rainbow Dash would even consider being a friend to a "bully" like Cloud Kicker. In reality, 99% of these problems were probably misunderstandings, which I'm sure we'll see in the next chapter.
2803314
My two cents? They were both being jerks.
Cloud Kicker didn't seem to notice Twilight's exasperation, or even stop to think "maybe she's not okay with the teasing". There are plenty of ponies who can give better impressions of someone's personality that Rainbow Dash, and one would think that one of her best friends would know that.
Twilight was expressing hate for Cloud throughout the story without even getting to know her. And given how Twilight's first few weeks with her friends went, she should know first impressions aren't everything. Twilight's been so deep in her assumptions, and rush to get the project done, that she's been giving herself false information and the project would have probably turned out sloppily, and labeling Cloud Kicker a public meance
Someone should make Ace Attorney-esque animations of Cloud Kicker. Have some examples!
"Wanna Bang?":
images.wikia.com/aceattorney/images/8/8f/Diego_Confident_1.gif
"No comment":
images.wikia.com/aceattorney/images/a/a6/AA_Miles_Edgeworth_Brooding_2.gif
"B-Bully?...":
images.wikia.com/aceattorney/images/4/43/Maya_Disheartened_2.gif
2803405 I'm not all that sorry for Cloud Kicker. She signed up for that sociological study primarily for the purpose of pushing Twilight's buttons and just generally jerking her around and then came in for an interview, which was supposed to be an incredibly detailed investigation of her life (which was what she more or less agreed to if Princess Luna's instructions are to be believed) and just gloss over most everything that doesn't concern her favorite hobby in some way. So yeah, not a whole lot of sympathy for her on that count. Whether she knew it or not, Cloud Kicker pretty much was bullying Twilight, even if she didn't realize it.
Personally, both were at fault in this chapter. Despite it being her nature to tease anything with a pulse, CK needs to tread lightly before going into a full gallop with the innuendos and junk when meeting a new face. As for Twi, her tendency to make assumptions based on secondary sources is turning her into a social hazard, let alone her noticeable lack of socializing in general.
A dinner date with a chance of bangs.
So, how much you wanna bet that this "Date" will get thrown in Cloudy's face when she tries to reconcile with Derpy?
2803748
That's a bit harsh there man, it's not like Twilight went after her with a vengeance. She was mostly polite as could be during the whole process, though you have a point since she did snap out a few times due to her assumptions.
Also, why is everyone calling this a date? And Derpy will be fine with it, at least I think so. At this point in the story, I think Derpy was fine with CK banging other ponies as long as she asked. And I'm very willing to bet there will be no banging. Though that makes me wonder if the romance tag is for Twilight or CK?
That... went better than I thought it would. It's a playdate in the end, not one of them absolutely furious and hurt over what happened and what was said. Huzzah!
Though there is one problem Twilight has (not with you writing her, but with her attitude). She seems to think that when she wants to fall in love, she'll go looking for it. That's really not how it works, you don't just meet a true boyfriend or girlfriend. It's always much more casual. The way her friends set everything up was much more normal, with single ponies like Apple Fritter being able to talk to her normally and get to know each other. You don't look for love, it finds you.
After all, that's how all the relationships (CheeriMac, PinkieDash) happened so far, really. None of them were looking, it found them!
2803487
Anyone would be, when forced to work with someone who's into something they find deplorable or incomprehensible. It's not that Twi's being a jerk, it's just that's a NORMAL response. The problem is we're all used to seeing her be above normal, so when she's pulling average it seems like she's fallen so far. At that point, it doesn't matter how nice or great of a person they might be if you gave them a chance, you just don't WANT to - you want to get whatever it is done and get back to not needing to have them in your life. Back to being comfortable. There is no one who can honestly say they've never felt like that unless they are so vapid that anything and anyone is pleasing to them, or just so lucky that throughout life they've only had to be close to people who are agreeable to them.
2803753
Pretty sure this was before Derpy and Cloud got really serious, since Blossom's not involved in the triangle yet, from appearances. And before that point, Derpy didn't mind if Cloud played around because they didn't have a committed relationship at that point. So going on a date with Twilight wouldn't bother her when she was well aware of Cloud still sleeping with other ponies.
Well, Twi. If your lucky, a new, and rather rewarding (Stop laughing Kicker!
) friendship. Certainly plenty of hijinks. 
Obligatory Dis Gun B Gud, is obligatory.
Yes, because it's not like Twilight's friendships are great enough to save the world or anything...
I have no doubt that Twilight can learn about a different kind of friendship from CK, but considering how much of a wrecking ball Cloud Kicker is with any deep relationship of her own, I think perhaps she's the one who could stand to learn the most. Not that it's going to happen in this story, considering how many screw-ups Ck still has ahead of her at this point from the main tale.
I really enjoyed the follow-up from last chapter's party, with Pinkie and Dash's apologies. I am curious about the romance tag and the focus on Twilight's perceived loneliness... Unless there is a time skip, none of the characters in this one seem to be available as romantic interests for Twilight when looking to the main story... And the hinted events during Tornado Duty week certainly don't seem like they would count (which, I admit, I hope are misleading anyway). I guess we'll see...
I did like Twilight finally coming out with how badly CK has been treating her from her own perspective... It was good for the pegasus to hear that, I'm sure.
no blossomlight?
Ooh well.... perhaps it can still be
Aw, poor Cloud. This chapter makes me want to give her a hug again. She really is a sweetheart, but she sets herself up for so much unnecessary pain.
I think somewhere in all of this there is a really big friendship report along with the sociology report.
"Oh, looks like my little ponies sent me... two letters?"
"Sorry sister, this one is mine."
"What-"
"Just a sociology report I commissioned."
"I don't remember dedicating the funds for something like-"
"Don't worry about it~"
"What has gotten into Luna today...?"
Huzzah! This fic has updated.
I love this development, keep up the good work and please keep the updates coming.
2803930 I meant Twi only saw her as a sex-obsessed Pegasus. If she learned to get to know CK better with the initial meetings, Twi would have seen her as a dedicated, loyal, caring sweetheart.
If I implied it was all an act of vengeance, my bad.
I tend to give the wrong vibe sometimes.
That was a great chapter
I think Twilight should have mentioned her issue a little earlier than CK's interview, but hey she is only a pony, and is defiantly not perfect 
Still have no Idea where the romance tag comes in unless Blossomforth or Derpy (but highly unlikely with Derpy because she hasn't spent time with Twilight) comes to Twilight after the debacle that happened during the funeral 
though I have a feeling you have something else in mind for your story 
I WANT MOAR SOON 
If that is alright with you 
2805256
True, but again CK also has the same issue here. Twilight formed her opinions from what other people said and from the rather misleading first encounters, you have to admit CK really doesn't give herself a good image with all the flirting and banging.
CK also did the same thing as Twilight; she heard from RD that Twilight is often sarcastic with her friends and assumed that meant she was okay with the teasing when she responded that way. So yeah, they both screwed this up right from the beginning and I can only hope they fix that.
Because CK is a wonderful friend to have, she is dedicated, loyal, caring sweetheart. She's also an ass though, in my opinion. Not most of the time, but there are these moments when CK just does something and it arses up one or all of her close relationships. Still I'm rooting for her goal of making everyone happy..
...I'd be dubious of hair-taffy if I were you...
I love how she takes it with practically no emotion whatsoever.
Awww...sadface...
This turned out quite differently than I had expected. I thought most of the time would be spent with Twilight getting info while deflecting Cloud Kicker's ever more creative advances (and me getting quite laugh out of it). But then all that happened.
I'm really excited to see how the mares' night out goes.
Yes thank you ponybus I was hoping for a new chapter
2803006 Y'know, I have a nagging suspicion this is all an elaborate plot to get Twi and Cloud hooked up, with Luna instigating.
Can't give any proof, but it sure seems that way.
...and then they banged.
Too soon?
Seriously, those two need to have a real talk, instead of the "eyeball to eyeball confrontation" (to borrow some 70s political nonsense) of the interview.
Twi needs to learn not every interaction is scheduled and planned to death, and Cloud needs to use some of that West Hoof discipline and stop being an irritant.
"Nobody's right when everybody's wrong." - The Buffalo Springfield
Well, it's nice to see that Cloudy finally got the hint.
This chapter was hard to read. It's emotionally flat. The characters seem wooden, there's not enough environment around the dialogue, and the pacing is like reading a lecture even when the two start arguing.
It's not ruinous to the story, which I am overall still a fan of and still planning to keep following, but it's not good either.
Freaking finally. Took you long enough, Cloud, it's not like she was repeatedly asking you to stop or anything.
Hmm. That throwaway line about Twilight's extended family intrigues me. We haven't really seen much of House Sparkle in this universe...
In any case, glad to see both of the project's participants have already learned something. The not-a-date should be interesting to see. Especially for the Ponyville rumor mill.
I don't buy this reasoning at all, nor do I believe Twilight would take that response well. The point Twi was making is that none of her closest friends act at all like Cloud Kicker, who responded with an implication that Twilight doesn't have great friends, and that she herself isn't a great friend. Not only do I not see the reasoning or evidence behind this claim, nor even the steps she took to get there. Furthermore, it should offend Twilight on a deep level, given the importance of her connections, especially with the thin ice CK is already treading on
Oh! And on the whole Flight School shenanigans thing, let's remember what Cloud Kicker agreed to by taking a look at Princess Luna's instructions during chapter 2:
Keep in mind, Cloud Kicker agreed to this. To be honest, given a set of instructions like these, Twilight had every reason to ignore the warnings of Cloud Kicker's friends and acquaintances and look into the whole Flight School incident in exacting detail. Given how notoriously studios and detail-oriented Twilight is, Cloud Kicker was really setting herself up for some serious trouble by agreeing to this solely for some bits and a chance to keep teasing Twilight.
2803314
This. It may just be that Twilight is an unreliable narrator, but she's made it perfectly clear to Cloud Kicker that she's not interested a dozen times over. She crossed the line from funny banter to sexual harassment a long time ago. CK's "oh gosh I didn't realize you don't like it" rings a little hollow.
2803629
I was disappointed with the interview. Now, I'm pretty sure that was a conscious choice to make it frustrating and disappointing for the reader as it is for Twilight. It's just a lot of effort sunk into retelling us a ton of information that we already know. I'm hopeful that their little dinner date is when we'll get the character development I expected from this chapter.
2803753
CK's done so many things that are so much worse than a platonic hang-out session with Twilight since then it's not even going to be on Derpy's radar.
2810359
I definitely second the pacing critique. I think you could boil it down by about 1500-2000 words to give it a little more energy and momentum. The apology scene along with Twilight and Spike's story about almost getting arrested are both places where I would trim. Not cut them entirely, but just condensed down to only the good stuff.
"We do what we must because we can!"
You don't say?
I guess we can rule out parthenogenesis then...
Feels... So many feels.
(Youngest of 5 here)
2803314 2803405 2803487
It's one part Twilight being an unreliable narrator and taking everything Cloud Kicker did in a negative light and not doing a better job putting her hoof down when she should have, one part miscommunication, and Cloud Kicker crossing the line in a few cases when she should have been more sensitive instead of doing what she normally does. Not to mention that Cloud Kicker can be a bit of a relationship wrecking ball at times.
2803930 2804206
I assure you that there is a reason for the romance tag for this story.
2810359
I'm sorry that you didn't enjoy this chapter. I perhaps succeeded too well in making the interview frustrating and stilted, and it hurt the chapter here. I might give it some editing to cut down on.
2818496
I might need to add a line or two with Twilight being a bit more offended.
2823360
I'm thinking I might take your advice under advisement and do some trimming to this chapter, and patch some of those sections up where there are issues. So I'll probably make that my project over the next couple of days. Thanks for the constructive criticism.
The dinner date and follow up sections is where more significant character development will happen. That last scene is a bit of a catalysis for later development, and I hope it comes across better then this chapter.
2823360
Those horrible things haven't even happened yet and like I said before, at this time Derpy was fine with CK banging other ponies as long as she asked, though I may be wrong.
2818496
Agreeing with you, that line should really be changed or something because CK is in way too bad a spot to be making statements like that even in a joking manner.
I just caught up on the winningverse and have to say LOVE the story so far.
You do such a great job capturing Tiw's stubbornness and her social ineptitude. Kicker's personality and charm also carry through so well. Needless to say looking forward to the next installment keep up the fantastic work! 
I think this chapter was a bit disappointing in the internal dialogue department - because that's what sets this story apart; this story is great at dumping us into the mind of a brilliant, dedicated,
potentially insanescientific mindset.2826256
That's probably caused by the fact Twilight is subdued by her opposing, clashing feelings towards Cloud Kicker. She's both terribly annoyed by her, and somehow curious about her. You can tell that by the way she reacts during the interview. She is simply overwhelmed by the stress the whole situation is giving her, so her inner, OCD voice fails at making her reason, resulting in her burst of anger.
something has been nagging at me for a while now, since derpy's interview really... Could little dinky really be twi's neice? it seems possible at this point, but will it be confirmed or denied? i think it would make for an interesting twist in the winningverse as a whole, or even if it's just study of a winning pony possibility. I really hope this will be explained soon....its an interesting concept that could be turned into a back-story of derpy during her days at college..
2830610
What I will say is that nothing is by accident in the Winning Ponyverse. Us throwing out whose Dinky's father might be isn't something we are going to put out there without addressing sooner or later.
Twilight should just give in and bang cloud kicker
I missed this chapter!
But fortunately it's still here.
Mad Scientist Twilight really is best Twilight. Well, maybe tied with extra-OP Twilight.
Daaaamn. About time Twilight told CK how it is.
Also, question mark, not a period in that first sentence.
You don't even have to strain your imagination, Dashie. Just think back to a time when CK took you to a brothel. Think of how you felt about that unwanted "favor." This is pretty closely analogous.
Not for you, certainly. I mean, for one thing, CK may hit on you mainly to get under your skin, but that doesn't mean she's been lying. You're cute, adorkable, smart, and a national hero. As long as you can find some way to let potential suitors know you're on the market, you're golden.
See? Stop babying Spike so much. He doesn't like it when you shut him out, and he's not blind.
Oh, you are so far off from the truth.
That's rich, considering you're going to use her feelings for you as a weapon against her, then force her to play love triangle chicken (love triangle chicken is a horrible, brutal game) to get you.
Yeah, CK. I hope you're not going to chicken out of beating up the bully just because she's you.
Though you've been called worse than "bully." I know that to be a fact.
Wow, only one screen? I did not have much to say.