• Published 27th Dec 2011
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Mythbuckers - AuroraDawn



Join Dash and Applejack as they buck the myths!

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Episode One: Unicorn Failures

Who are the Mythbuckers? Join Rainbow Dash-
“Am I missing some feathers?”
And Applejack-
“Oh Luna not the grain silo-”
Together, they have over thirty seconds of special effects experience! They are...

THE MYTHBUCKERS!

“Good evenin’, fillies and gentlecolts, and welcome to the first episode of Mythbuckers!”

“Who are you talking to, Applejack?”

“Oh, come on, R.D. Y’all just gotta get in the spirit of things. That’n there magical box thing Twilight’s rigged up for us records everything we’re doin’ and sends it to more magical boxes. I hear a lot of people in Canterlot own them boxes.”

“Wait, you’re saying ponies all over Equestria are watching the one and only Rainbow Dash?”

“Well, I suppose-”

“Hey, everyone! Take a look at this!”

Before Applejack could comment, Rainbow Dash took off into the blue Equestrian skies, leaving Applejack far below in the foothills beyond Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack stared up, slack-jawed as a piercing white light shone from above. Rainbow Dash landed next to her with a soft thump.

“The famous Buccaneer Blaze! How about them apples, Canterlotians?”

“Uh, Rainbow Dash?” Applejack smirked, trying not to laugh as she tapped the pegasus on her shoulder.

“Yeah?”

“You gotta stay within the line a’site of the... whatchamacallit. You know, that box.”

“It’s called a camera, girls,” spoke Twilight, poking her head out from behind the device. “And she’s right, Rainbow Dash. You have to warn me ahead of time so I can follow you. I’m really sorry, but I missed that.”

“Aw, horsefeathers. I can’t even do two of them in a day! Totally lame.” Rainbow Dash kicked a hoof into the ground, throwing up a tuft of posies.

For a moment, the ponies on the hilltop stood in silence, taking in the scenery. Behind them stood the boundaries of Sweet Apple Acres, the miles of apple trees almost glowing with the colours of fall. In the distance of the camera’s view, the foothills of Equestria stretched, seemingly indefinitely. The light of the autumn evening revealed vast stretches of land, and the edges of Cloudsdale could be seen on the horizon. Applejack was the first to start talking again.

“... Gettin’ back on topic, seeing as we only have an hour for this apparently, today, we test the common myth: Unicorn spells fail easily and spectacularly. Care ta’ explain, R.D?”

“Sure thing, A.J! So you guys have probably all heard the stories. Some unicorn will be doing something simple like a teleport spell or a growth spell or something awesome, when suddenly, BAM! Something scares them, or they miss a word, or forgot to wave a wand or whatever, and suddenly there’s giant hairless talking monkeys running around.”

“Exactly! So to put this to the test, we devised a couple simple experiments. First, we’re going ta’ see if unicorns do fail spells really easily and all that. If’n that don’t work, we’re going to see what it does take to get a unicorn to fail a spell, and thirdly, we’re going to see if a failed spell really does interrupt the space-time continumajig.”

“Continuum,” Twilight corrected.

“Yeah, that word.”

“Now A.J,” asked Rainbow, following the script, “Just who are we gonna find who’s willing to let us endanger and possibly destroy them in a tragic yet epically amazing display?” Dash struggled not to laugh at the absurdity of her line. “Who came up with this stuff, anyways?”

“Well Dash,” Applejack continued, ignoring the pegasus’ comment, “I’ma real glad you asked that. Joinin’ us today is our good friend and fashion expert, Rarity. Welcome, Rarity.”

Rarity perked up as the earth mare queued her, and walked forward from behind the camera. An uneasy look overcame her face, and she questioned the crew nervously. “Wait, endanger? You never said anything about danger. I offered my help under the assumption it was all for fun and games.”

Rainbow Dash flew over to the unicorn and ushered her forward with a wing. “Think about the fabrics you could buy with the royalties, Rarity! It’s gonna be so cool! Anyways, don’t worry. I won’t let anything bad happen to you!”

“Yeah,” Twilight spoke up. “And if not for your friends, would you do it for science?”

Rarity was silent for a moment.

“... Oh, girls. You know I’ll do anything for you all unless my beau-tiful mane is directly threatened.”

The four mares shared a laugh, giggling in the warm autumn air. A gust of wind blew over the hill, briefly chilling the ponies.

“Oh,” Rarity voiced, wiping a tear from her eye. “I must ask, however, why you chose such an odd meeting spot. Wouldn’t the farm offer a much more serene image, and provide better composition for the shots?”

“Applejack was all concerned about the farm getting destroyed by me, accidentally.” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, whistling.

“And on purpose,” Applejack accused, shaking her head.

“You asked me to destroy that barn!”

“It’s the corn field I was talking about.”

“I Pinkie-promised I wouldn’t do that again.”

“Girls,” Rarity interrupted, trying not to think of the response, “Back on topic please. What is it you need me to do?”

“Okay. Right. Test number one! Tell’em, A.J!”

“You got it, Dash. How this is gonna work is like so, Rarity. You start doin’ some fancy spell or whatever that takes a lot of concentration, and Rainbow Dash is gonna make all sorts of a commotion, and see if your magic kerplodes.” Applejack waved her hooves around as she spoke, excitement starting to overcome her.

“Well, that sounds easy enough. Hmm... Oh, ideeea!” Rarity perked up and cantered behind the camera to her saddlebags. She returned levitating a half-knit scarf and two knitting needles in front of her. She sat down, dead center of the camera’s view, and started focusing intently on the scarf in front of her. Her eyes narrowed as she maneuvered the needles, and the world around her faded away.

“You gotta be kidding me,” Rainbow Dash scoffed. “Knitting? Really?”

“Be quiet, please,” Rarity snapped, rolling her eyes. “Knitting is complex and difficult, and requires the utmost of concentration.” She turned back to her scarf, frowning as she immersed herself in the act of creating it.

Rainbow Dash shrugged and quietly took off. Moments later, she returned with a large black cloud, positioning it above and behind Rarity. The blue pegasus struggled not to laugh as the rest of the crew hid behind trees and bushes; anything that could provide cover in case the result was catastrophic. Twilight created a magical barrier between the camera and Rarity, and projected large numbers into the air so as not to warn the white unicorn. As the numbers counted down to zero, Rainbow Dash bucked the cloud. A massive bolt of lightning with an even larger burst of thunder was unleashed from the cloud, striking just behind Rarity.

She dropped her knitting needles, and with a scream cantered around the barrier to where Twilight was standing.

Applejack tilted her head in concentration. “Hmm. Looks that this myth is Plausible. Y’all alright there, Rarity?”

“Eep! The! With the! And!” was all Rarity could muster, her nonsense spouting in between bouts of deep breaths. “If you ruffians ever even think of trying that again, I’ll-”

“Well, Applejack,” Rainbow Dash interrupted Rarity, shushing her with a wing, “It looks like this myth is Plausible.”

“I already said that.”

“Oh, right.” Rainbow Dash laughed nervously and continued. “Anyways... but we’re not done yet! That wasn’t so much of a failure, rather a distraction. If anything, it wasn’t spectacular. Now we’re wondering, what does it take to get them to fail, and fail awesomely at that? For this next test, we’re going to need Twilight Sparkle as our subject pony.”

Twilight blanched. “... Why me? I thought you had Rarity for this?”

“You not only survived having an anvil and piano dropped on you, you got up and walked away. You’ve also burst into flames, which was totally awesome. You’re a unicorn that can take a beating, so we know you’ll be safe.” Rainbow Dash smiled brightly.

“...Ugh, fine. Rarity can operate the camera, I guess, seeing as she seems to know about proper composition and all that. If you want, Rarity, I can lend you my “Photo Finish’s Autobiography and Beginner’s Guide to Filming”.”

“That’s, uh, quite alright, my dear. You go off and be fantastic, okay?”

Applejack nodded approvingly. “That’s th’ spirit, Rarity! Now, Twilight. I just need you ta’ teleport over to that other hill over there, so we’re niiiice and safe, and start doing some complicated magical mumbo-jumbo stuff. Alright?”

“Right. How will I know when we’re testing?”

“Oh,” Rainbow Dash giggled, landing next to her. “You’ll know.”

Twilight shook her head, defeated, and popped out of sight. The rest of the crew looked over to the distant mound and watched as she reappeared. Applejack turned back to the camera.

“Right, now seein’ as we need one super distracting, massive, heck of a racket, we’ve called our local talent on surprisin’ ponies, Pinkie Pie! Welcome, Pinkie. Say hi to the folks in Canterlot.”

“Ooh, you’ve got one of those camera things that I keep saying is following and watching us but none of you ever seem to believe me but now you do and it’s all so exciting! Hi ponies in Canterlot! And hi to all you people reading this!” Pinkie Pie jumped and clapped her hoofs as she ranted.

“Eh, beg your pardon, Pinkie? You feelin’ alright?”

“Never better, A.J! Okay, how can I help you?”

“Er.” Applejack shook her head and let the issue slide. “We need a super big surprise for Twilight. Something really really big, y’understand?”

“Ooh! You don’t just need a surprise, you need an explosion!”

“Well... I suppose? We don’t wanna hurt Twilight, though.”

“Oh silly,” Pinkie giggled, “She’ll be fine. You girls are in luck! I’m actually really skilled in mixing explosive materials! I found that out after I got my cutie mark!”

“... I’m really curious,” Rainbow Dash muttered uncertainly, hovering in front of the pink earth pony. “How, exactly, did you find out you were skilled with explosives?”

“Well, after I got my cutie mark, I wanted to make as many balloons as I could, and let them all free to make random ponies around Equestria happy. But, living on the rock farm, helium was expensive. So I tried out hydrogen! The Rainboom may have curled my hair, but whoo-boy, it was when I accidentally made a spark in the silo I was storing them all in... Well, that made the curling permanent! I realised just how fun and hilarious explosions were! It was because of that that my parents sent me to work for the Cakes, actually!” Pinkie Pie finally stopped, her grin beaming at every-pony present.

“... Right.”

“Ooh! I have just the right thing, too!” Pinkie ducked into her saddlebags, pulling out a small container of liquid. In what was possibly the slowest her friends have ever seen her move, she set the bottle onto the grass and backed away. “Now, Rainbow Dash, you need to fly this over and set it down behind Twilight. Don’t put it right next to her, otherwise she’ll be Twilight Dust-le.” Pinkie took a moment to laugh at her joke, but then immediately returned to being serious. “This is three hundred millilitres of nitroglycerin. I’d say a good ten leaps away will keep her safe, and scare the ever-loving dokie-lokies out of her.”

“Goh ih,” Rainbow Dash spoke around the jar, having already grabbed and leapt into the air with it. She took off recklessly despite Pinkie’s cautionary manner. Rarity turned the camera expertly, following Dash’s quick jaunt through the clear sky to the other hill. The crew watched in anticipation as Dash carefully set the jar down a couple cart-lengths back from Twilight and flew back to fetch her thundercloud.

“Hey, R.D. What’s Twilight doin’?” Applejack asked curiously, making sure to step in front of the camera.

“She’s mumbling all these weird spooky sounding things. There’s this solid bubble of magic surrounding her. Could be a shield or something, I dunno.”

“Smart pony,” Pinkie muttered, her eyes unblinking, staring at the location of the explosive liquid.

Rainbow Dash gazed at Pinkie, narrowing her eyes in thought. With a serious nod, she grabbed her cloud and rushed off. Rarity focused the camera as Dash positioned the thunderhead over the bottle. She reached into the cloud with her front hooves and then burst away, flying so fast a light rainbow stretched from her tail.

“What in tarnation has you all in a hurry? And it didn’t even work. The cloud’s just sittin’ there, looking all angrily-like.” Applejack scrunched her face up in incomprehension.

“First of all,” Dash replied, “if Pinkie Pie is scared of it, I realised I should be scared of it. Second of all, I set the cloud on a timer. Just watch.”

They stared back, observing Twilight eagerly. The dark cloud rumbled and shook, brief flashes of light intensifying as the cloud built up another strike. Twilight sat oblivious to it all, concentrating intensely on keeping her shield up. Finally, a bolt of lightning slammed into the nitroglycerin.

The shockwave overcame the thunder as it reached the crew, shaking the camera and knocking the ponies back. In the distance all that could be seen was a blinding blaze of light as a massive ball of flame shot demonically from the ground, consuming the flowers and weeds that occupied the hill. As the ponies by the camera recovered, they gaped at the opposite hill. A thick, black haze of smoke obscured any image of the purple unicorn.

“You kept that in your saddlebags?!” Rarity accused Pinkie, flabbergasted.

“Well of course. It’s always better to have something in case you need it! And we needed it today! Sugarcube Corner is full of those jars, and all sorts of other goodies that go boom and bang and that’s why the Cakes don’t let me use the gas ovens.”

“Shush, you two. Can anyone see what happened ta’ Twilight?” Applejack questioned, her voice thick with concern.

“The camera has a zoom feature, one moment dears.” Rarity took a moment to fiddle with the device, before looking into the viewfinder. “Oh, oh my!”

The ponies gasped. “What? What happened? Is she alright?”

“Oh, gracious me, this just simply won’t do! It won’t do at all!”

The rest of the crew started panicking, and Applejack sprung into action, spouting orders at her friends. “We have ta’ help her! Rainbow Dash, go on over there and bring ‘er back! Pinkie, go fetch Fluttershy!”

“Oh, girls, calm down,” Rarity spoke with disregard. “There’s an awful smudge on this viewfinder.” She lifted her scarf and used it to clean the glass, and then peered through it again. “Much less atrocious now, if I do say so myself. Twilight’s fine, if a little spooked.” She paused and looked at the others. “What were we supposed to look for?”

“Twilight called it...” Applejack paused, searching her memory. “She called it... a ‘Space-Time Continuum disruption. Yeah, that’s it.”

Rarity was taken aback. “What does a Space-Time Continuum disruption even look like? What am I looking for?”

Rainbow Dash flew high, scouting the rolling plains. “I don’t see anything that looks like a portal or a giant monkey.”

Suddenly Twilight appeared back in front of the camera. Her mane was disheveled and smoking, and one of her eyes had an incessant twitch that wouldn’t stop. The purple unicorn glared at everypony present.

“Crazy. Every one of you. Utterly mad! Why I even try to put up with it I have no idea! I’m going home. Hopefully no one will try to set me on fire or drop a piano on top of me!”

“Wait, wait!” Pinkie hopped in front of Twilight, blocking her way. “How was it from where you were sitting? It looked so amazing from where I was! That was really exciting! Right, Rainbow Dash?”

“That was absolutely amazing!” Dash cheered, doing a backflip in excitement. “And Pinkie’s right. We need to know what happened on your end. You didn’t get transferred to any alternate universe or anything, did you?”

Twilight glanced into the eager, excited eyes of her friends, and relaxed with a large laugh. “Oh, girls, I can’t stay mad at you. I guess.” She mumbled something about reviewing friendship letters when she got home, before raising her voice again. “No, all that happened was that the explosion hit my bubble and shattered my concentration. The magic just kind of... fizzled.”

“So nothin’ world-changing at all then hon?” Applejack looked thoroughly disappointed.

“Not so much as a wormhole.”

“Well, folks in Canterlot, and readers at home,” Pinkie jumped in front of the camera, “Looks like this myth has been Bucked!”

Rainbow Dash flew into Pinkie, knocking her down onto her side. “That’s Applejack’s line!”

Applejack leaped into Rainbow Dash, knocking the pegasus down and standing tall in the shot. “That’s right, an’ y’all know it. Well, folks in Canterlot, and... whatever readers Pinkie’s been rambling about I guess, looks like this myth has been Bucked.”

“Right!” Dash exclaimed, shouldering her way into the shot. “Unicorns are pretty good at not destroying the universe when they’re distracted.”

Twilight grabbed the camera and turned it towards herself, smiling into the lens. “Hi, mom and dad. Rainbow Dash is trying to say that Unicorn magic is very difficult to properly disrupt without simply distracting the caster. Even when the spell does fail--meaning it is actively destroyed by a commotion--the magic will simply dissipate. Unicorn spells are safe and quite stable.” She nodded proudly, maintaining an air of intelligence on screen.

“Join us next week,” Applejack grabbed the camera back to herself, “when we check out more myths! If y’all got a suggestion, send us a letter to the address in the credits.” Applejack paused, stretched her head out to Twilight’s ears, and whispered. “What in the hay is that supposed ta mean, and why did yah have me say it?”

“The editors will put in our names after the show, plus extra information. In the credits, there’ll be an address that viewers can use to send us ideas.”

“Makes as much sense as I’ll get outta yah, I reckon. Anyways, all y’all know to watch us at the same time!”

“Yeah,” Rainbow Dash cut in. “Make sure to watch, and we’ll blow even more stuff up!”

“Oh, goodie, that’s almost as much fun as a party!

“Quiet, Pinkie Pie. Goodnight, y’all!”

“Annnnnd.... Cut!” Rarity spoke sharply, turning the camera off. “Well, I dare say that that was pretty fun! What are you two planning on doing next week?”

“Oh heck Rarity, I’ve got no idea. How ‘bout you, Rainbow Dash?”

“I think I have a thought or two. We’ve got a week anyways, and plenty of people will send us ideas. That was just wicked cool, I can’t wait to shoot the next one. Huh?”

Rainbow Dash peered down the side of the hill, watching three little fillies struggle to race their way up from the farm. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo all met the mares, panting for breath. Apple Bloom was the first to recover and speak.

“We heard... a big ‘splosion!”

“And we saw the cloud, too!” Scootaloo fluttered her wings with enthusiasm.

“And we wanted to come help,” Sweetie Belle giggled.

“Now girls,” Rarity spoke sternly, “I don’t want any of you getting involved in this. It’s dangerous and-”

“And absolutely sweet if you wanna help out!”

Rainbow Dash!

“Don’t be such a spoil-sport, Rarity. Let the fillies have their fun. We’ll watch them all, won’t we Applejack?”

The orange earth pony nodded succinctly. “Of course, Dash. I won’t let anythin’ harm you or your friends, okay Apple Bloom? But y’all will have to listen to us whenever we say anythin’ at all, alright?”

“Oh, of course, of course big sister! What’ll we get to do?”

“Well what we’re doing,” Dash laughed, flying around the three fillies, “is testing things ponies say are true, and finding out if they actually are or not. We’re probably gonna blow a lot of things up in the process.”

“How does blowin’ stuff up help you find out if it’s true or not?” Apple Bloom asked curiously, elation in her voice.

“It doesn’t always,” Dash conceded, “but it’s glorious fun.”

“I can’t argue with that,” Scootaloo smiled. “When do we get to help you?”

“We’ll be doing it again next week.”

The fillies looked at each other, and bro-hoofed. Scootaloo looked up at Rainbow Dash, her gleeful face practically shining at the mare.

“So whadda call yourselves? Proving True Stuff Crusaders?”

“No, Scoots. We’re Mythbuckers.”

CUTIE MARK CRUSADER MYTHBUCKERS YAY!”

Everypony started laughing as they watched the fillies run down the hill back to the farm, sharing in their excitement. Pinkie was still chuckling as she grabbed the camera and turned it towards herself.

“Uh, Pinkie,” Rarity reached a hoof tentatively towards the earth pony, “you can give that back. It’s off.”

“Nuh-uh! Just give me a second!” Pinkie glanced into the camera, smiling. “Have fun, readers! We’ll see you later! Don’t forget to send in those myth suggestions! Seeya! Adios! Bon voy-”

“That’s quite enough, Pinkie.” Twilight hugged her, taking the device away from her and setting it on the ground. The rest of the ponies burst into laughter once again as they all came together into one group hug around the obviously annoyed Pinkie. She shrugged, and embraced them all in return.

---

Mythbuckers, Episode 1: “Unicorn Spells”

Concept by AuroraDawn and Autumn Wind

Support and Research by #EquestrianStudy

Produced by AuroraDawn

Edited by
FoolontheHillz
MaverickVox
Taggerung
Lysis

Suggestions for another episode? Send your Equestria-related myth ideas to AuroraDawn.mlp at gmail.com! We’re looking for fun ideas, such as parodies of fanon cliches (Unicorns fail spells, pegasus wings are incredibly fragile, ect) and show references (Chocolate milk is highly explosive).

Thanks!

---

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Disclaimer: This is a work of fan made fiction, based on the animated show “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.”, and the Discovery Channel show “Mythbusters”. I do not own, nor lay any claim to My Little Pony or any related intellectual property, nor to Mythbusters and any of it’s related intellectual property.

This work was made entirely for entertainment value and as a tribute to the amazing work of the Friendship is Magic and Mythbusters production teams. It is not, and will never be, distributed for profit.