I Got a Dog. She is Best Girl(If Your Definition of Dog Translates to Magical Fox Thing)
I sat in pure silence, having been explained what a consort was, what it entails, and all that other fun stuff, Luna sat with a huge smile on her face. Be the husband of a Princess, or a companion. Whatever the fuck ‘companion’ implies. I stared down at my now empty plate, while Celestia sat there with a smug grin on her face. Now, on one hand, I don’t know if I could handle being a consort of any sort, husband or not, but I can’t deny that Luna’s huge, bright smile made it hard. Those magenta eyes of hers were also so full of hope… With how Luna spent so much of her time being rejected by the very people she ruled over, that hope would make sense.
“Well, Ostri? Will you take my sister’s offer?” Celestia peacefully smiled, her pink mane flowed with a nonexistent wind.
I turned to and from each Princess while my brain worked out the upsides and the downsides. “Can I make my own terms if I were to be a consort?”
Celestia started to open her mouth. “Well-”
“Of course! I wouldn’t want you to be upset the whole time!”
“Well, for one thing, we aren’t getting married, not yet. I’ll be your consort as a friend; we humans take at least a few months to get to know somebody they’re in love with. Sometimes a decade just to get married if it even gets to that point. I’ve known you for about two days, Luna.” Luna nodded, she was still so happy. “But that doesn’t mean that may change in the future; I might end up falling head over ass for you, which I could see happening. Next, I don’t want any perks from it, I’ll happily have the title alone, but I don’t want my place in the world known as ‘that one guy that was friends with a Princess.’”
“But… you wouldn’t need to work a day in your life-”
“Luna, that isn’t how I roll. I would love some luxury, who doesn’t? The thing is though, I know a life of pure luxury would be boring and unfulfilling. Doing those odd jobs, those were fun, and exciting because I didn’t know what they would entail. One of those jobs led me to playing with a pack of wolves. I got to blow shit up with fireworks. Humans, as much as they don’t want to admit it, thrive on challenges. It’s what kept us moving forward. Back home, we got to the moon because getting there was a challenge and we just wanted to touch the moon. I’m not different, I guess. I like having something to do.”
“I… suppose. No guards as well?”
“If you think I need guards, I won’t deny them, but I don’t think I will need them. Sure, I can barely walk straight, but I’ve got a brain, some common sense, and the innate knowledge of knowing how to murder the shit out of a threat that humans have. So far, fireworks have been a tried and true method, and I’ve got a few that were confiscated when I got arrested for no reason… and because you, Luna, are adorable, I can’t see myself saying no to you. Not with that smile you were doing earlier.”
“I am Princess! I cannot be cute!” Luna raised half of her now cold grilled cheese sandwich to the air.
“You could be the Cute Princess. Celestia’s already got the Tall One down.”
“That could work… if only my subjects would agree.”
“Hey, your subjects are bumfuck stupid. And also pretty racist towards each other apparently. If they think you, who has an award winning smile, is evil, then they’re dumb as hell.”
“I know…” Before Luna could continue wallowing in her sadness, I walked right up to her and bopped her on the nose. “W-what?”
“I don’t like seeing you on the brink of tears. So I bopped you on the nose. It worked, didn’t it?”
“You…” Luna’s eyes were now hidden by her mane. “You… have booped the Royal Nose.” I cocked my head. “Now you must face my wrath.” Needless to say, I learned how ticklish I was, and how good wings were for tickling the hell out of somebody. By the time Luna was done, I was bumfuck tired, and any energy that I had left, was used up on trying to squirm out of what could only be described as literal telekinesis. Of course, Celestia wasn’t happy about how her little sister was bonding more with some guy she just met, then y’know, her. So she left early on the guise of ‘she needs her rest’ or some shit.
I woke up again, under Luna’s wing the next day, and left without a word. Of course, I left a note saying that I was gonna go find some more odd jobs, and that is exactly what I did. I did a few less dangerous jobs, which only ended up with me making about twenty five bits after six of them. That was retarded, because I almost fell off a roof and broke my neck during one of said jobs, so I went to the bulletin board and found a job that involved taking care of a monster. So I went, got a contract for the job, a sword, and of course, more fireworks should I need to kill said monster.
Needless to say, the pay was gonna be huge, because apparently the monster ate ponies. So I went out, following a crudely drawn map to where the beast was supposed to be residing, hoping I didn’t run into Starswirl, since apparently he’s a heavily gifted unicorn making leaps and jumps in magical theory or whatever. So hopefully that old fucker took some sleeping meds to prepare himself for a long nap, and would leave me alone while I took care of the monster. The only description of the monster was that it's fox-like and pony-sized. Which is cool.
Because I ran right into the fucking thing. It was beautiful, honestly. It heavily resembled a Ninetales from Pokemon, but its tails ended in black tips of fur, its ears were the same color as the tips of the tales. The red eyes were cerulean in color. It was sitting on its haunches, and its head rested higher than mine, while its shoulders were at my head level. I paused in awe as I saw the fucking thing, because Ponyland, it also had nine tails. Its creamy coat looked incredible and actually really cool when combined with the black fur of its ears and tails. Along with some markings that were also fur, but didn’t look like runes.
“Greetings, Pony. Are you seeking passage? I’m more than willing to guide you… you’re the first pony who hasn’t run away in fear of me immediately.” Its mouth did not move as it spoke.
“I was told that you were eating ponies, and am getting paid, to murder you.” The fox cocked its head.
“Oh heavens no; you ponies don’t smell good, so I assume you wouldn’t taste good either. And I am unlike a similar creature, the Kumiho, as I would rather befriend travelers than eat and torture them.” Huh. “And before you ask, it is too far west for Kumiho to roam. It is also a little far west for me, a Kitsune, to be all the way out here, but my homeland is currently under siege, so I took refuge here. Do you still wish to kill me? Because I believe I will simply leave if that is the case. You ponies are quite unfriendly.”
“Nah. If you’re telling the truth, I don’t give a fuck about what the hell you are. You’re pretty cool looking, and quite pretty if I must say so myself. How the heck are you speaking without your mouth? I’m curious.” Am I dumb for trusting this thing? Yes. Do I care? No. It says it hasn’t eaten anyone, so it doesn’t need to die yet. If it’s lying, then yeah, it will die.
“I am using telepathy, and I can read your thoughts, pony.” Oh shit. “If you need your suspicions confirmed…” the Kitsune was up in my face now. It then licked me. “There, I do not do that to many, Bald Ostrich.” Huh. “You want to pet me now that I’m this close? Either you are suicidal, or not right in the head. Because most ponies would run before I even got this close…” It grinned. “Before I could get the chance to eat them.” Before I could react, it licked me again. “I’m merely joking; you may pet me if you would like.” I did just that.
“So, how smart are you in relation to a normal fox?”
“I am significantly smarter than a fox. I am capable of basic ‘levitation’ as ponies dub telekinesis. I also have an advanced level of telepathy, even if it is a little difficult to convey my thoughts into language; I am intelligent but language is something my kind is not very acute to. It doesn’t stop us from communicating, but we are not even capable of saying the words of this language… Equish as you may call it. I will stop reading your mind now; I can tell you have questions.”
“So, what do you eat?”
“I can get by for months on a single rabbit. Kitsune are magical beings; we don’t need to eat as much as you mortals do, and still retain a healthy figure. And I can hunt for myself. I refuse to hunt anything sapient, however, so ponies are off the menu for me.”
“So… I could keep you as a pet if I wanted to.”
“Would you want to?” I shrugged. “Well, it would be a nice change of pace in this life of mine. I’ve seen it all, have served a variety of creatures, but never as a pet. It sounds relaxing, where I lounge, and obtain food by doing nothing.”
“Do you think you can still hunt for yourself? I know ponies won’t be selling meat, and I can’t hunt for shit.”
“Of course. I do not mind having to do that. I assumed having a master, of a mostly vegetarian race, would come with a few caveats.” The kitsune rolled over onto her back. “Rub my belly; I am a cute, cuddly fox that wants affection.” I grinned and couldn’t say no to such an offer, so that’s what I did. “Oh… yes this is nice. I see why some other canines have been warming up to ponies.” The kitsune’s tongue started hanging out the side of her mouth as I kept on going. “I believe you wish to give me a name?”
“Hey! I thought you’d stop reading my mind.” I didn’t relent in rubbing that belly despite my outburst.
“I did for a few moments. And I will stop for the most part… this just seems that it would come naturally. A sign that we’re bonded; I am named, and belong to you.”
“Well, I was gonna call you Blaze.”
“I…” The fox hummed. “It’s good and simple; easy to remember. You may call me Blaze.” Blaze sighed before batting my hoof away with a paw. “That’s ticklish, stop.” My hoof had moved up to her neck before that. “I said stop!” Blaze squealed as I kept tickling her. It was cute as hell. A toothy grin worked its way onto my face until I found myself being pinned down by my new pet. “Ostri, what did I request that you do?” Her legs were slightly shaky, probably because I just tickled the shit outta her.
“To stop tickling you?”
“What did you do?”
“Keep tickling you.”
“My tails are very useful for tickling, remember what happens when you cross a kitsune.” By the time I was done, I was a heaving mess, using Blaze as a bed of sorts while she covered me with her tails, like a nice, fluffy blanket. “That was… fun. Quite fun. Is this what being a pet is like?”
“I dunno. I never had one… is it normal to love the hell out of their pet immediately after meeting them?”
“I am uncertain. I’m not complaining; I am certain by the end of this, I will be crying when you are gone.”
“Because you’re immortal?” Blaze nodded. “Oh…” I reached up with a hoof, and somehow directed her muzzle towards me with it, despite not having fingers. “Well, that’s more of a reason to make use of the time you have me, eh?”
“You are correct. Come, I can carry you back to your village, and you can get me settled into your home.”
“Uh… I don’t have one. A home, that is.”
“How?”
“I wasn’t a pony four days ago.”
“That makes far, far more sense now. You don’t act like a prey animal in front of a carnivore that can eat you whole. Well, let us go anyway. I believe the nearest settlement is Everfree City, correct?”
“Yup. I’m staying at the castle in the middle of it. Hopefully Celestia and Luna won’t mind me having a pet.”
“We will have to wait and see.” So we started walking back, or rather, Blaze carried me by the scruff on my neck. I didn’t even know that was there, and felt degrading. But I guess I was still catching my breath, so I didn’t complain, or fight back because I literally couldn’t. My body, legit, acted like a kitten and just stopped doing anything I told it to do, and just went limp in the kitsune’s grasp. “You seem fully rejuvenated. I shall let you walk now.” Blaze stopped, lowered me onto my hooves, and kept on walking.
Halfway through, I got bored, and tossed a stick. Blaze, wagged her tails, and went after it only to stand with it in her jaws until I caught up with her. We repeated this, and it took us a little while longer, but we got back to Everfree City. The amount of discord my pet’s new presence was fucking funny. Like they saw me, gave me the stink eye for having wings, and then hid under a cart, in an alley, or in somebody else's home as soon as they saw Blaze. Of course, Blaze wasn’t super happy about ponies giving me the stink eye, but made no move to even attack them.
“Watch it!” Blaze grabbed me by the scruff, tucked me in under her forelegs, and rolled over. The sound of an arrow planting into the side of wood made it acutely aware as to what happened. I slowly turned to the thing, before looking up at the kitsune, who was now peering down at me under a ball of light that was deflecting more arrows. “Did you get hurt, Ostri? You almost took an arrow for me without knowing it.”
“I’m fine. Is this another one of those things you are capable of?”
“Of course. I can create magical fields that act as weak shields. Somebody hitting it with a very strong hammer could get through, but a volley of arrows? My shield wouldn’t even falter for a second.” Blaze turned her gaze up. “Though I am not appreciating being shot at with my, now, favorite pony hiding underneath me.”
“Wait!” I slipped out from under my fox, but just under the magical shield she was still holding up. “Stop shooting! For the love of everything that pisses, stop shooting at my god damn pet, you bunch of fucking horses!”
“Watch your language, there are foals listening.”
“I don’t give two damns, you simple bitch!” I yelled back.”
“Ostri,” the arrows had stopped, and now Celestia was calmly walking forward. Wings flared, walking all regally. “How do you, in three days, get arrested, make enough money to buy a small house, and then come back home with a bucking Kumiho? Not only that, but it is peacefully laying down behind you, and even saved your life. What the actual-”
“That’s not a Kumiho, Celestia. It’s a Kitsune. The main difference is,” I booped Blaze on the nose. “I can do that to a Kitsune and not get murdered.” Blaze then took my hoof in her mouth and held it there. “Can I have my hoof back? I need that to walk.”
“You booped my nose, so I get to keep your hoof.” Blaze paused. “I’m bored of it; you can have it back now.” She then released my hoof and started licking it.
“See? Hoof’s fine-Blaze, stop grooming me-and I’m still alive and kicking. Blaze is actually really sweet. And she’s my pet Kitsune now, so if you can not murder her, that would be really appreciated, Celestia.” Blaze didn’t stop grooming me by the way.
“Ostri, you worry me sometimes… Guards, leave this pegasus and his pet fox alone. They aren’t here to hurt anypony. You may continue living in the palace, Ostri, but you are responsible for your pet. If it eats anypony, I will hold you accountable, and I will kill blaze.”
“You’d be lucky to even do that, your highness,” Blaze said with a serene little smile. “Kitsunes are incredibly hard to kill. However, I won’t harm anyone, as it goes against our very nature. Trust me, if I wanted to hurt your ponies, this one,” Blaze hopped on her hindlegs, resting the upper half of her body on me. “Would be dead already,” the Kitsune then nuzzled me.
“That’s reassuring.”
“You give good belly rubs, Ostri; you’re safe.”
Celesita sighed as she began walking back to the palace, muttering about what the fuck I get up to in my spare time. “So, what do you wanna do now?” I turned to Blaze. “I still have a day to kill, and your head was about to be my main paycheck today…” I grinned. “Perhaps there is some way to still get your head.” Blaze simply rolled her eyes. “What? I know you probably don’t have the concept of money in your head, but I need that money.”
“Watch.” Blaze’s head was now off her shoulders and in my hands. “Illusions are a part of my skill set. You can still get your money, and I can still be alive!” Blaze’s headless body wiggled. “My actual head is merely invisible. Just drag me by the leg into wherever you collect your money from, hold my fake head up, and go on your way.” I shrugged and did just that. I now had three hundred bits, a kitsune, and was now playing with that kitsune.
As in we were wrestling for the fun of it. I didn’t win a single time; Blaze is fucking huge, leave me alone. “You know, today’s been a good day,” I rested my head on the fox’s chest as she rested on her back. The two of us were bone tired, how Blaze, a ‘magical’ creature was tired, I dunno, but I didn’t question it. It gave me a good chance to test the pillow properties of something so fucking fluffy. Spoiler: Blaze is a very good pillow. “Got paid, got a new pet and friend, and we get to sleep under the night sky to end the day off.”
“And I have somebody to scratch my belly when I demand it. Just know that I will demand attention for five seconds… like a dog.” Blaze filled my head with her version of a giggle. “I actually won’t; that would be annoying. I will, however, demand pets and belly rubs at times. I am your pet, and it is your job, as my owner, to pamper and spoil me rotten. In turn, you will have my unyielding loyalty,” her tails wrapped around us. “And cuddles. Don’t forget those.” Before long, Blaze was snoozing away, and I wasn’t too far behind.
Now I don’t feel as alone as I did.
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Celestia going be learning some hard lessons. Although I feeling nightmare moon is still going happen because when only one person appreciate you and the rest hate you well it hard to keep your spirits up. And Celestia isn't doing anything to help her sister.
Blaze best dog indeed. Blaze, do you have some friends who wish to be a pet like you do? I'm available to be their owner. Being pure magic I can finally have a pet I'm not allergic to.
It's just me..... but I hope blaze was a cool greek mytgical creature, just like everything else in mlp first season.
11607415
Karma gonna be on everypony's asses if they keep being OOC assholes.
I'm a sucker for all things fox so... Take a fave and a thumbs up!
So is ostri, blueblood ancestor?
Kitsunes are the BEST!!!! That is all
I am absolutely Delighted. Kitsune are one of my favorites.
Ostri knew that the ponies of Everfree thought that Blaze was a monster and instead of doing something reasonable and intelligent, like keeping Blaze inside the forest for a moment, so that he could talk to Luna and Celestia to clear up the misunderstanding. He just marches the assumed 'pony-eating monster' straight through the centre of town and acts SHOCKED when ponies act with fear and violence.
AND THEN! Instead of calmly trying to de-escalate the conflict, he screams profanity and insults at everypony around him!
I know that you are trying to write Celestia as the 'bad guy' here, but she has the patience of a fucking Saint to put up with Ostri's antics.
Ugh a fox?