Well, I’m a Horse Now.
The first thing I noticed was that I was not lying in my bed, instead I was laying in the grass of… some sort of field. My eyes weren’t even open yet, so I didn’t know where I was. Speaking of which, when I did open my eyes, first I shut them tight again because of how bright the sun was. Secondly, I opened them again and rolled off of my back onto… four hooves. That is not normal at all. For one, I am human. Last time I checked, humans had two feet, two hands, two arms, and two legs. No more, no less. Unless you had some sorta of birth defect of course. Or a mutation, mutations are pretty shape altering.
The next thing I noticed, I was a horse of some sort. Cool, that would explain why I have hooves. It doesn’t explain why the ever fresh fuck as to why I’m a horse though. Like I went to sleep as a human, in my bed. I shoulda woke up. Again, as a human, in my bed. Instead, I’m a horse, in the middle of a fucking forest, on my own and alone. “What the fuck did I sip on last night? Mountain Dew? I knew constantly drinking that would turn me into a fucking yellow horse!.” Huh, my vocal chords still worked and could form words…
If I run into literally anyone, I will get bisected. On the bright side, I don’t have to worry about taxes, bills, or hearing another Nickleback song. So really, who’s the real winner here? Me, obviously. I could smell flowers that were on the opposite side of the clearing I eventually found myself in… Walking wasn’t too hard once I figured out how to not trip on my left hooves. Overall, I wasn’t minding being a horse. Would eating grass as a human turned horse allow me to get high off my ass? Or would it literally just be food now? Well, worse comes to worse, I just die. So I took a bite… and that actually tasted pretty good. Like a salad that was already covered in ranch.
Needless to say, it was pretty good, and I kinda liked that. So of course, as I wandered, if a flower was on my path, I ate it. Each flower had a distinct taste, dandelions though, those tasted like shit. Like the flavor wasn’t all that bad, but all the seeds made me nearly choke and die. Fuck dandelions; stupid little weeds. There were these weird blue flowers, now those, those tasted like an angel pissed in my mouth. That is a really weird way to say those are my favorite by far.
Of course, my wandering led to a bunch of tents, where horses walked between them and talked and chatted happily. With those tents was a nice, long caravan of carts. There were fire pits, the smell of bread, and it looked kinda cozy. And reminded me of something that might’ve been a thing during the Great Expansion in early-day American history. Overall, it looked cool, but I didn’t want to stick around. Because I am the luckiest fucker in the world, one of the horses noticed me. “Oi, what the hay is a pegasus doing here?” I slowly turned my head to my sides.
Huh. I have wings. That’s pretty cool. Can’t use them, but it’s pretty cool. “Uh… I got lost somewhere.”
“Why ain’t you flying?” An orange horse walked up to me, wearing a nice, fancy stetson that had a little nip in the front. “If yer a pegasus, you wouldn't have gotten lost to begin with, with your fancy ability to fly.” I blinked a couple times.
“Is wanting to take things nice and slow a bad thing? I like walking more than I like flying; I like to stop and smell the flowers rather than live in the fast lane, y’know?” The best part? I wasn’t lying. I do like to smell flowers when I’m not in a hurry to get somewhere.
“Ah’ll be damned… a Pegasus that doesn't like flying,” it was then that I noticed that the horse had an apple tattoo’d on its ass. “So what’s yer name? I’m Red Delicious.”
“I’m…” That’s the name of a type of apple. Cool. “Bald Ostrich, I came from…” I hummed for a second for a dumbfuck horse-town name. “Las Pegasus. I left that snobby place to find something more in life.”
Red Delicious grinned. “Well, Ah think we’ll get along; Las Pegasus is filled with a bunch of snobby, noble ponies that think they’re holier than thou. The only thing that Ah can say is that they aren’t as annoying as the unicorns in Everfree City; sadly we’re headin’ dere to sell our produce to them.” Wait, that dumbfuck town name is the name of an actual city… Why. what kinda fucked up world do I live in now? It’s clearly not Earth.
“You don’t mind if I tag along? I’ve been lost for a really, really long time. Seeing some… civilization would be nice.”
“Of course! And sorry if Ah sounded a tad bit racist to ya, most pegasi we come across are still getting over the fact that we Earth Ponies are their equals in Equestria.” That’s a dumbfuck name for a country.
“Meh. I’ve been called worse than a few slightly racist remarks; I literally grew up being called various, random slurs.”
“Why’s that?”
“I’m a pegasus that doesn’t like to fly. Even my fellow pegasi call me names.”
“Such as?”
“Chicken, little bitch, cunt, retard, all that fun stuff.”
“Ah, so that’s probably why you left Las Pegasus?”
“Eeyup. I do enjoy not being verbally harassed, surprisingly.”
“Ah’m surprised that anypony would insult you; for a pegasus, you’re quite handsome.” I blinked a couple times. Before I knew it, we were standing in front of a firepit, and I was introduced to a bunch of ponies whose names I couldn’t remember for shit. Just know that they were, in fact, named after types of apples. Like Golden Delicious, Braeburn, Honeycrisp, all that fun stuff. One pony that stuck out was a midget named Crab Apple, and it’s only because I had to stop myself from laughing at that name and who that name belonged to.
I was handed food after chatting and joking around with the ‘Apple Clan’, which tasted pretty good. Purely because it had apples in it. If you somehow fucked up apple sauce and a simple sandwich with lettuce and apple in it, then something’s wrong with you. And yes, apple sandwiches existed I guess. It tasted heavenly, so I wasn’t complaining. Even though I could go without lettuce. Fuck lettuce, it’s dumb, stupid, and tasteless. Even as a yellow pegasus.
Later, I found myself sharing a tent with Red Delicious, or I would’ve had I not snuck out last second and just slept out in the open. I don’t wanna share a room, or a tent, with a horse. The ‘ponies’, as they called themselves, were very intelligent and friendly even if I could tell that there was a slight bit of racism. Still, I also just wanted time to myself to contemplate my current situation. I am no longer human, I’m now a pony, in some pony land where having wings is normal, horns are normal, and the ponies here are sentient and smart enough to form civilization and know the concept of trade.
And I have no idea how the fuck I am going to fit in.
For one thing, I can’t fly; never had wings, humans don’t have wings I think. I dunno, that’s the stuff legend apparently… HUMANS! I also have to find a job, while barely being able to walk properly, in what is apparently a lot more ‘old school’ in terms of what I’m seeing. Because so far, I’ve yet to see anything that screams ‘advanced technology’ at me. So how the heck can I get by in my new life? Now I know I have taxes to pay, bills to likely pay. I’ll need a house, or some cave to sleep in, but I suppose I’ll climb that hill when I get to it.
A job would be nice though; money keeps the world going round, and also keeps me from starving to death because I don’t know how to farm, hunt, or what I can actually eat.
With a new goal in mind(getting a job), I rolled over, covered my eyes with my wings, which was a pain in the ass, and went to sleep. The following day, I learnt that wings are amazing to sleep under the sun with if you’re like me, and literally cannot sleep unless it's dark. Anyways, the next day, we started moving along, and it was then that I noticed something. I can barely feel my hooves, which felt so odd considering how sensitive human feet are. Well, I wasn’t complaining because we were traveling for god damn hours; my hooves barely felt that.
When we first stopped at Everfree City was…. There was a whole fucking castle the center of a bunch of midieval looking buildings. As we got closer, I could see the smoke of a smithy rising as the sounds of a hammer meeting metal could be heard from all the way out here. I stopped and stared in awe, because it honestly looked pretty cool with the surprisingly bright colors for a town that looks like it came out during the middle of… well, the medieval period.
“Quite the sight, ain’t it?” I jolted slightly when Red Delicious nuzzled my cheek. “This ain’t even gonna be the capital and it’s still a sight to behold. Canterlot is still under construction; that still won’t stop the nobles from flocking to live next door to the Royal Sisters.”
“Well, every rich asshole wants to be near the politicians; then they can suck their teets and pretend like they have the well-being of their country in mind. Nah, they’re gonna try and lobby laws that help them make more money.”
“Pfft, ain’t that right! Ah knew you were a bright fellow the moment I laid my eyes on you!”
“Red, stop flirting with that stallion! We gotta get our stalls set up!” Crab Apple, the midget, shouted from wherever the fuck she was.
“But M’ah! He’s a hunk!”
I blinked a couple times, before deciding to ignore what the fuck was just said about me. Instead, I focused on helping the Apple Clan get their stalls set up in order to ignore that. I don’t want to think about that. It turns out, I wasn’t that bad at moving things despite my ‘reluctance’ to fly, which earned me a few points from the Apple Clan. of course, I also stuck around and tried to help drive sales up by dancing like an idiot while pointing to the Apples’ wares. Of course, because I am such a good(lucky), talented, marketer, it worked surprisingly well. Of course, I was dancing like an idiot, and got laughed at too, but I was helping.
“Say, Bald-”
“Please, call me Ostri; I hate my first name.”
“Ostri, you dancin’ like dat helped like wonders for our business!” Crab Apple trotted up to me and lightly socked me in the shoulder. “It looked buckin’ stupid, but it helped!”
“That was the goal!”
“And for that, we believe you deserve a bit of a cut-”
“But you guys literally housed and fed me for a day while I was traveling with you guys. It’s the least I can do-”
“Ostri, you can’t put a price on just being nice to a stranger.”
“Then take this as me returning your kindness. I am a firm believer in karma; what comes around, goes around. You paid me in your hospitality, and I will try to return it by helping you guys sell a few extra apples.” Crab Apple sighed, before pulling out a brown bag.
“You really aren’t making this easy, Ostri. We want to pay you. Red thinks you’re a sexy little thing,” Crabby looked me up and down. “And she’s right. Just let us pay you though. You don’t have to stay with us, but just take this bag of bits. Red told us of where you came from, and we believe this bag of bits will help kickstart your new life.”
Now, there are a few times where I felt like crying, this wasn’t one of them, but it almost made me cry anyways. “You…” I swept Crab Apple into a tight ol’ hug. “You guys have to be the nicest folks I’ve ever met. Where I come from, I’d be lucky to get a loaf of bread.”
“Just remember our kindness and pass it along to the next pony that’s suffering.”
“You got it!” I took the, admittedly, small amount of bits, and tucked it under a wing. “I hope we meet again, my friend.” Oh yeah, this is also why Crab Apple stood out. I slowly lowered her to the ground. “And if nothing else, you’re adorable, and you can probably seduce some guy with your cuteness into swindling him for bits.” Crabby snorted.
“If Ah ever have to do that, Ah’ll kill myself.”
“Yeah, I would too. Unless you kill the bastard and hide the body; he can’t fib about what you did.”
“Your… humor sure is interesting,” Crabby smirked. “Ah like it though. Good luck to you, Ostri!” we shook hooves and I was well on my way. Well, on my way, I found a few beggars and handed them a couple bits each. Their eyes widened, so I guess I either gave them a lot, or gave them basically nothing. Eitherway, the beggars thanked me and quickly went off to probably get a loaf of bread. I was honestly a bit busy just looking around, and by the time I noticed it was dark, it was night with a full moon above me. It was… fairly peaceful.
The once bustling little ‘city’ was now barren and empty, and I forgot to look for a place to bunker down for the night. Honestly, I was down to go out of town, find a random patch of grass and sleep on that. For now though… god that night sky. As much as I ignore the night sky, even I’m not above just sitting down and enjoying the constellations, or just how nice and peaceful it is to hear a symphony of crickets as I lie on my back and stare up. The moon was also kinda pretty, so there’s that.
“Why are thou out so late? Shouldn’t thou be resting with everypony else?” Now my ears were ringing. Of course. I can’t have a nice moment of just enjoying the night sky. “Perhaps a pony finally decides to bask in our night?” I rolled onto my stomach to see… a midnight blew unipeg? Alicorn? A fucking horse with wings and a horn, standing over me. She was wearing some crystal horseshoes, which had to hurt; they were heels. Black, crystalized regalia consisting of a necklace and a crown. A beautiful mane that sparkled and shined, and looked as though the night sky itself was captured within the mane. She was also notably taller than most of the ponies I’ve come across so far. “art thee going to speaketh? we supposeth yond a pony yond enjoys our night wouldst still beest afeard of us.”
“Oh no, you’re pretty as fuck and I was taking it all in; it’s not everyday you see a Royal, ain’t it?”
“thee's speaketh so vulgar at which you are talking to thy princess?”
“Can you speak normally? You’re loud as hell and I can barely understand your ‘olden’ talk.”
“Tis tradition to speak like this, but we supposeth we will tone it down…” The Princess cleared her throat. “And speak untraditionally. Why are you out so late? Everypony usually shuns my night sky despite how much work I put into it.”
“I was honestly stupid and didn’t find an inn to sleep in. Dunno if I can even afford an inn with this,” I pulled out the bag of ‘bits’ and handed it to the princess.
“Judging by the weight, you could probably sleep in an inn for months.” The Princess sighed. “So you don’t enjoy our night?”
“Oh no, it’s awesome.” I pointed up. “Like there’s the little dipper. Follow the stars until they stop, boom, Polaris, the most northern star, I think, and boom, big dipper. I wish I was more in astrology growing up; the night sky’s an amazing view in its own right. Not to mention the peaceful atmosphere the night brings, and you get yourself a perfect place to nap, or sleep in a field of grass lit by moonlight.”
“I.. you find the night beautiful… and you are so knowledgeable.” I blinked. “Not even my sister knows what a little dipper is! Let alone a big dipper!”
“Wait up, if you’re one of the Royal Sisters, the heck are you doing out here?”
“We guard our subjects during the night. While my sister is asleep, along with the rest of the kingdom, I rule… it’s hard to rule over anything when all that you rule over is asleep. So I get bored and wander the streets of the city… and tonight I found a stallion that actually appreciates my night!”
“Don’t get me wrong, I sleep during the night too; everyone’s gotta sleep, right? Anyways, I will happily admire the night sky when given the chance, but I will have to go to sleep at some point. I have to, or I’ll probably die from exhaustion after a few days.”
“That… is fair. Ponies were never night creatures, after all. But thank you for basking in our night. Perhaps you would like to spend a night or two in the palace? I’m certain Celestia wouldn’t mind; she’s constantly bringing home mares, stallions, anypony she can possibly sleep with, so why can’t I?”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We are not going to sleep with each other.” Luna actually giggled at that. “You didn’t mean we were gonna fuck like a couple of slutty rabbits, were you?”
“Of course not! I was offering you a place to stay as a friend!”
“We… just met though. Meh, we can probably work through the details of us actually being friends by literally just hanging out.”
“Hanging… out?”
“We just spend time together. You know, chat, laugh, tell jokes. I will steal your kidney afterwards, it’ll be fun.” Luna giggled again.
“That doesn’t sound like a terrible idea… though please leave my kidney in my body; I quite enjoy having that.”
“Fine…. Will you settle for giving up a lung? You got an extra to spare”
“No. I quite enjoy having both of those in my body.” Fuck.
“I suppose that would be a thing you’d enjoy… I’m Bald Ostrich by the way, but I prefer going by Ostri.”
“I am Princess Luna, but I believe I don’t need introductions… everypony demonizes me as is.”
“How in the fuck? You’re so pretty looking… and also pretty chill if you were so willing to joke around with me when it came to your kidney and lungs.”
“You don’t think I’m a monster?” Luna looked genuinely shocked.
“Nope. unless you kill somebody, I don’t see a reason for me to see you as a monster of any sort. You’re not too bad from what I’m seeing, and you literally just offered me a place to sleep tonight,” we began walking, with Luna leading the way. “I dunno why everyone is demonizing you; I wasn’t in civilization for a good year or dozen, I can’t remember, and you shouldn’t let that get to you. If they can’t appreciate you, and your sister is apparently doing nothing about it, just up and leave. Find somewhere you are appreciated and cherished.”
“I…” Luna wrapped a wing around me. “You may refer to me as Luna. You and I will be best friends!” I chuckled as the princess suddenly started being really cute and geeking out over her personal interests. Like the night, her love for complex math, all that fun jazz. Hell, she had a checkerboard in her room and we just played that for a few hours until I blacked out from exhaustion… every time she won, she pranced in place, which was criminally cute.
Needless to say, I already kinda liked Luna.
Stats
Page generated in 0.023 seconds
Total duration
1,023 users online
1,422,447 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Nice work! It's kinda rare to find stories that focused in the past of Equestria like your story ^^
another one ? well okay iam here for it , hhmmm maybe this time we will get different changeling queen or maybe princes ?
Is the next chapter of 'Changed' began writting yet?
11605710
that’ll come when it comes. i’ve got some of it drafted
|･ω･)
More please, i would appreciate it greatly.
Edit: oh. Didn't realize you posted this yesterday. Greatness takes time and all, so take as much as you need.
Caught a typoe.
Good start. Looking forward to more chapters when you get to them.
Mc x Luna?
Aw, poor Red Delicious got dumped.
Crab Apple was absolutely hilarious.
This looks delightful.
IMO, that’s Poison Joke. Nò? Oh well.
THIS IS NOT A DRILL, PONIES DO NOT PAY TAXES AND BILLS, I REPEAT PONIES DO NOT PAY TAXES AND BILLS, EVERYONE TURN INTO PONIES NOW!
Jokes aside I am reading any stories that take place before S1E1 took place. Let's see what this one has to offer.
11803149
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
You almost killed me with how funny it was. I literally almost choked while laughing.