Corrupt
Push the boulder up the hill,
Let it roll back down again
Try to save a single friend,
But leave the other five for dead
Over and over, Rockhoof tries,
But ultimately, all he does is fail.
“For goodness sake, ya ol’ geezer, hold onto the damn shovel!” Rockhoof shouted.
Starswirl held limply onto the metal blade with one hoof, dangling over the edge of the precipice – the bottom of which swirled with dark energies, crackling and snapping at the two above.
The old stallion’s eyes were pools of blackness from which opaque dark tears flowed freely down his face.
“I’m sorry friend, but this is the end,” Starswirl replied sadly.
“No, it ain’t, you bloody codger! Every time we do this, you’re all ‘woe is me, I deserve this’, and I’m getting right sick of it.”
“I know not what you mean, but I agree that I do deserve this.” Starswirl smiled bittersweetly. “I can’t keep ruining your lives like this.”
“Of all the— you aren’t! And even if you were, you can make it up to us by not dyin’. For the so-called smartest unicorn of a generation, you can be pretty stupid, Swirl. Now, hold on—”
“I don’t have the will to carry on, Rockhoof.”
“Will you just—”
“You’re the ever-dependable one—”
“Stop talking and—”
“—and the one I trust to lead the others in my absence.”
“There’s no one left! They’re all gone and it’s just you and—”
“Stay strong, friend. I believe in your strength.”
“Swirl, don’t you dare—”
He let go, falling down into the abyss.
A trail of black tears marked his path, suspended in place by unknown magic. As Starswirl got closer to the bottom, the darkness reached up to meet him, swallowing him within its cold embrace. In mere moments, there was no trace of the stallion.
Chimes rang in the distance.
“Dammit!” Rockhoof pounded the wooden floors under his hooves. “Dammit, dammit, dam—”
“—mit!”
Glass shattered as Rockhoof’s hooves slammed down onto the hourglass that appeared before him. He was back in the main foyer of the accursed place he had become trapped inside. A massive chamber with high vaulted ceilings and a checkerboard marble aesthetic. Paths stretched out from this central area and deeper into the depths of the elaborate house.
“Back here again, then,” Rockhoof muttered. He rubbed his forehead as he heaved a weary sigh. “Well, startin’ with Misty didn’t work and I still don’t know the damned timing for whatever makes Swirl start acting like a fool.”
He paced back and forth, a click resounding through the room every time his hoof made contact with the tiled floor.
“Flash and Swirl are definitely last. Brook, Misty, and Som are somewhere in the middle of dat mess, so that would mean…” He stopped and pivoted to face down one of the corridors. “Styg must be first!”
Rockhoof galloped down the hallway.
“Is there any way I can convince you not to look for the book?” Rockhoof asked.
Rockhoof stood by Stygian in a large library, rows of shelves sagging under the weight of hundreds upon hundreds of books leading into entire sections of the room dedicated to specific categories of reading. Dim lighting lit the way through open corridors laden with casual sitting areas and work desks.
“It is vitally important that I acquire the book in question, as it is the only way I can conceivably see us escaping from this place without resorting to drastic measures that, considering our track record, I would greatly appreciate avoiding.” Stygian narrowed his eyes. “Why is it that you want me to abandon the search?”
“Well, I, uh…”
“Rockhoof, I can already tell you are attempting to come up with a reasonable lie, which, need I remind you, you are terrible at. What is going on?”
Rockhoof heaved a weary sigh. “Remember that witch back in the Forbidden Jungle?”
“Yes, of course, I do.” Stygian rolled his eyes. “I in particular had a rather nasty time with it since I couldn’t— ah, you cannot speak of the reason why or you will burst into flames.”
“Not gonna be burned, but things do get worse if I try to tell others ‘bout it.”
“Truly unfortunate circumstances, but hopefully remedied shortly once I find that accursed book. I shall start in the Historical—”
“No!” Rockhoof shouted, memories of burnt fur filling his senses.
Stygian stepped back, a hoof to his chest. “That was rather overblown. I never knew you despised the fiction genre so much. Though, I don’t why it surprises me considering the tastes of—”
“No, I mean the book isn’t there.” Stygian raised a hoof to interrupt. “It's part of what I cannae tell you.”
“Fine, I suppose. This curse you are under is making my efforts rather frustrating. Mayhaps I could give you a suggestion as to a place to search and you can tell me whether or not that is the correct course?”
“Aye, that would work.”
“Right then. How about Arcane Magic, to start?”
Rockhoof felt the metal teeth of the traps closing around him, digging into his skin. “Nay.”
“Perhaps, architecture?”
Showers of acid descending from above, burning through fur and skin. “Also, nay.”
A huff of annoyance. “Surely, Spatial Magic can’t be—”
“Absolutely not!”
“Really? What could possibly be so bad as to avoid a theoretical school of magic?”
“You don’t want to know, lad.” A shudder of revulsion passed through Rockhoof.
“I am running out of places to search, unfortunately.” Stygian tilted his head side to side in thought. “Transfiguration?”
“That one might have it.”
“Then we have a course of action!” Stygian said excitedly. He looked down several of the corridors before starting a brisk trot down one seemingly at random. “This way, my compatriot.”
“Styg, slow down. Let me take the lead,” Rockhoof called out as he chased after him.
“Oh, please, Rockhoof. It’s a library, and a fantastic one at that!” Stygian gave a boisterous guffaw. “The depth of knowledge on display here is incredibly impressive, and, I dare say, makes me very jealous of whoever owns all these fine tomes.” He glanced at some words engraved onto an overhead arch. “Ah, here we are.”
“You need to be more cautious. This place is dangerous.”
A snort of disbelief. “Oh, please. What’s the worst that could happen? I get a paper cu—”
It took merely a moment for the spike to shoot out of the floorboards, a second for the twitching to subside, and a third for Stygian to release his last gasp of breath as blood dripped down the horrid metal contraption.
Rockhoof felt numb to the sight, one he had seen too many times. He calmed himself down as he told himself that he could always save Stygian in the next loop. He always had time. For now, he needed to refocus his efforts, and make this iteration worth going through.
“I’ll need to take a gamble this time. Going off my previous experience, I should check on Som, Misty, or…”
“... Brook,” Rockhoof mumbled.
His friend lay dead on the floor before him, her normally vibrant blue fur faded to grey. Purple sludge oozed from a corner of her mouth, the poison still bubbling away in a nearby cauldron. Various ingredients were spread out haphazardly across the table, filling the upscale kitchen with their fragrant scent.
Rockhoof smothered the heat under the cauldron using a pot lid. “Least I know who died first.”
Three chimes rang out, signifying the time. He thought about the progression of the loop and realized that Mistmane was due to die soon if he didn’t hurry to her location. Mentally deciding on his path from the kitchens, Rockhoof barrelled out of the room and down the winding corridors toward the indoor aquarium.
A spacious, well-decorated room greeted him, with the grand centerpiece, a massive empty glass tank, front and center. Overhead pipes spewed water into the container and onto the frantic form of Mistmane, as well as schools of dead fish.
She perked up at his entry. “Oh, thank goodness. Rockhoof, I’m trapped. I was just looking around and—”
“Aye, Misty, donnae worry. I’ll get you out of there.”
“Thank you, but please hurry. I don’t know how long I have.”
An hour, if he didn’t screw this up. Significantly less if he did.
Racing through an open archway, he found himself in a sitting room with two pipe valves embedded in the walls. He was unsure of the exact order, just that there were ten different valves in the adjoining rooms and only one correct combination.
He mentally recalled what he could of the previous order he had completed, and decided that he would start with the valve on the right.
Trotting up to the metal wheel, he grasped it firmly within his hooves and quickly began to rotate it, a horrible screeching emanating from the movement.
A clock chimed out, warbling loudly in tone before being drowned out by a loud crash.
Startled, he yanked hard on the wheel of the valve, snapping it off of the spoke it was attached to.
“Damn it all!” Rockhoof cursed. “Why would that accursed clock—”
“Rockhoof!” Mistmane screamed.
Galloping back to Mistmane, horror settled into him as he saw the tank begin to fill in earnest, already clearing Rockhoof’s head. Mistmane paddled desperately on the surface of the water, soon to be stopped by the closed top of the tank.
“Rock, I—” Mistmane gasped out as she desperately swam in place. “Please, I can’t— Rock, help m—!”
With panic gripping his mind, Rockhoof fell back on old habits and he began to slam into the glass with his full body. He bounced off the surface and to the ground. Unwilling to concede defeat, he got back up and tackled the same spot, over and over.
His energy spent, Rockhoof, collapsed against the glass, slumping in place and fogging up the pane with his heavy breathing.
Fighting back tears, he looked up at the ethereal form of his friend floating in the water, ringed by a halo from the floodlights embedded in the top of the tank.
“Thought so,” Rockhoof remarked numbly.
After leaving Mistmane, he had made his way to the clock room, a massive machine of interlocking gears that controlled the grand clock on the exterior of the mansion. The clock, however, was permanently stopped shortly after three, but not for a lack of trying. The gears kept attempting to continue their advance, but were gummed up by a shape stuck between the cogs.
A hole in the ceiling above filtered light from the guest rooms to the chamber Rockhoof found himself in. Puddles of red dripped from the teeth of the gears and pooled on the floorboards from the object that had fallen through.
“I’m sorry, Som.”
Taking his time, Rockhoof meandered out of the clock room and up into the guest quarters. He made his way down long hallways to room four-two-three. Pushing open the door with a shoulder, he entered the run-down, ratty guest room and took a seat at the end of the single bed.
He looked off into the distance and away from the mutilated form of Flash Magnus.
“Failed again, Flash.” Rockhoof chuckled humourlessly. “Ya know, it’s funny. This used to be devastating to me, but it’s gotten easier recently. Still haven’t saved a single one of our friends, but I’m just numb to the whole thing now.”
Using a hoof, he idly wiped away the tears flowing down his face. “I never figured out what did this to ya. What ripped you to shreds. Looks like an animal, could have been another pony I don’t know about, but in this place, I cannae really tell either way.
“Well, not wholly true. Can’t figure out Som either. You’re a total mystery, but Som’s death just keeps changing. Leave it to her to never be consistent, even in dying.” He released a chuckle that turned into a pained sob.
“Really wish it could have been someone else to deal with dis mess. I shouldn’t have been the one chosen for this. I don’t have the brains like Misty, or Styg, or Swirl. Definitely don’t have the gumption that you, Som, and Brook have. Just a mindless brute whose best trait is being able to smash his way through things.
“And what good is that here?”
Getting off the bed, he leaned down, and kissed Flash on the unwounded part of his face, between the crisscross of red scars that cut into his skin, oozing blood onto the floorboards.
“Love ya, Mags. I’ll try to save you next time. Gotta deal with the idiot wizard next.”
Rockhoof left the room, closing the door gently behind him.
“Why does it always end like this?” Rockhoof asked.
Back at the end, Starswirl held onto Rockhoof’s shovel as Rockhoof desperately tried to convince him to hold on, to not give in and be taken by the abyss.
“Because I’ve failed you all, my friend,” Starswirl replied. “This is the only way I can atone. The only way I can free you all from myself.”
“Sorry, Swirl, but I'm afraid I’ve been the biggest failure as of late.”
“Nonsense. You—”
“Don’t even try. I haven’t been able to save a single one of you and I’ve had all the time to do it.” Unbidden tears came to his eyes. “I’ve had so many chances and I just… can’t do it. It’s getting harder to keep going, Swirl. I can’t ignore what I am.”
“Rockhoof, you are not a failure.”
“No, you’re wrong. I cannae—”
“Stop,” Starswirl interrupted, the blackness in his eyes fading momentarily to grant him temporary lucidity. “You are the pillar of strength for a reason. It is not just because you are physically capable, it is because you are a source of stability for us all. That is why we need you.”
“You don’t need—”
“I won’t hear you degrade yourself like this. Though you may not be the wisest, nor fastest, nor the most durable, you have the most important trait of any of us: heart. You are what keeps us moving forward, what keeps us grounded in this world that sees fit to destroy us at every turn. Without you, we could never have the strength to do what we must.”
“... I don’t believe you, Swirl.”
“You should.” Starswirl smirked. “I’m considered the smartest unicorn of a generation.”
“You don’t act like it most times.”
“And that’s why I need you to call me out on it.” Starswirl chuckled. “I confess, my dear friend, that in this moment of clarity, I do not know what is happening, but, whatever, may happen—
“I believe in you.”
Before Rockhoof could reply, the abyss reared up and grasped Starswirl in its embrace. The last thing Rockhoof saw was a beaming smile from his friend as he let go and allowed himself to be swallowed.
Tears rolled down Rockhoof’s face and—
—onto the shattered remains of the hourglass.
Rockhoof took a deep breath to steady himself and gather his thoughts.
“... I’ll start with Brook this time,” he declared.
He wiped the tears roughly off his face and glared defiantly up at the sky to whoever had trapped them in this place.
“And I won’t give up until I save everyone.”
He galloped off.
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I believe that this is what kids would call, Poggers
The writing is detailed and vivid, and the premise is intriguing, with enough details to really grab the interest. We haven’t seen much of the other Pillars yet, and while your depiction of Stygian was a bit different than the more skittish version I’m used to, Rockhoof is well-written and in character.
You have my attention, friend. I look forward to reading more.
Nice!
Nice character work, and very concise writing
All you need to do to break a time loop is waggle K9's tail.
Tom Baker has ALL the answers!
“I see many people die because they judge that life is not worth living. I see others paradoxically getting killed for the ideas or illusions that give them a reason for living (what is called a reason for living is also an excellent reason for dying)." -Albert Camus Absurdist Philosopher. "We must imagine Sisyphus happy." -Albert Camus Absurdist Philosopher.
Inspired
fuck yeah angsty time loops! can't wait to read more!
Why have I read the title as "Sisyphilis"?
I’m going to be really honest, here. I think the first chapter feels a little too sparse to get me invested in the story as a whole. I get that the intention of the first chapter is to get people hooked, and so you want to present as much mystery as possible. And that’s great! Very good plan.
My issue, though, is that I feel you’ve left too much out. The setting is clearly very important to the story, but you’ve done very little to establish it. It’s referred to as a mansion, but we’re never really grounded in that reality. The various locations Rockhoof visits feel separate from each other, not part of a coherent whole, and they’re barely described. I feel like this was a mistake. I also think you could have done more to hint at what’s going on. Obviously you don’t want to play all your cards straight away, but I think that a little bit more info to whet my appetite would have made me feel a little more invested. Unless you have and I just missed it, which is totally a possibility.
Overall, I think it’s a good start to a story, but I feel like a little more detail could have improved it a lot. The scenario and Rockhoof’s character, though, were great.
Anyway, that’s my thoughts. As a fellow competitor, best of luck in the sci-fi contest!
11529706
You are incorrect. The setting is the least important part of this story. The reality of the situation Rockhoof finds himself in being ungrounded is also a key point of the plot. The leaving out of details is both intentional with the setting being solely window dressing to what eventually unfolds. I will freely admit, that this is very experimental compared to what my usual writing is like, but clearly grounding the writing and providing more than what is necessary for explanation would take away from what I am going for on the themes of the story. Thank you for the criticism.
oh no, anything but the darkly ominous poem that encapsulates the entire story before it even begins :(
ooh that is not good!
honestly, this is just so very Starswirl, somehow. of course he would phrase it in a way to make it sound to others (and himself) that whatever he does is for the greater good of all
oof, just the ordering alone gives 6!=720 combinations, not to mention needing to find out what the right actions are in each case…
oof, what a curse to be under! definitely great fodder for narrative tension
oof, so many ways that could go horribly…
oof, the combinatorics just gets more and more brutal!
augh, yeah. that insecurity at his core that we see in “A Rockhoof and a Hard Place” would make him feel this way, and also makes him the perfect protagonist out of the seven for this kind of story
oof, brutal
love how Starswirl finally says something genuine and heartening and follows it up with that, that is just perfect
and oof. “moment of clarity” indeed, really makes you think…
so true he would never give up love him