Eagle contact
Announcement : I want to let you guys know that all the jokes I add are only for comedic and ironic reasons, everything is based off of memes I got from Twitter or YouTube, so please don't take it seriously, I just want to make a combination of Realism-Fantasy-Comedy type story, I am also not siding with any country in this story, and by the way, I am an Indonesian.
=///Eastern Pacific ocean\\\=
at 9 a.m. in the sky of the Pacific Ocean there are 6 objects flying in the air with supersonic speed, it is not a bird, nor is it a UFO, nor is it the Ohioans state government's secret weapon for world domination. It was apparently a 94,4 million dollar aircraft built by Lockheed Martin. Perfectly financed by American taxpayer money with absolutely 'no' corruption or scandal during its development stages.
The F-35 Lightning II is the pinnacle of America's military-industrial complex, they spent 1.5 trillion dollars and 11 years to develop this aircraft, because the US Senate found out that spending taxpayer money on homelessness or public transportation is not very beneficial for them.
The six planes fly in a 'V' formation, the pilots are ready to die to serve their country and become the first humans to contact the aliens, this was basically a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, their names would be permanently inscribed in the history books.
Michael Klein is one of those brave pilots, he enlisted in the navy in 2021, one of his experiences was when he was deployed in the South China Sea, where he and his team helped the Philippine navy to expel Chinese destroyers that entered their maritime territory. He and his team are deployed on the most extraordinary mission of his life, where he will be one of the first humans to fly in the sky of the alien continent.
"Overlords, this is Dagger 1, ETA to the unknown continent in 3 minutes"
"Copy that Dagger 1, Procide towards the continent and settle at 1500 feet."
"Understood."
"Dagger 2, this is Dagger 1, activate please your Electro-Optical Targeting System."
"Copy that Dagger 1, activating the Electro-Optical Targeting System."
The Electro-Optical Targeting System (EOTS) for the F-35 Lightning II is an affordable, high-performance, lightweight, multi-function system that provides precision air-to-air and air-to-surface targeting capability.
"All right everyone, slow down to 600 miles per hour, and make no sudden maneuvers except to try to avoid a threat or collision."
"Affirmative."
"Dagger 1, this is Dagger 6, should we activate the weapon system?"
"Negative Dagger 6, our mission is to peacefully scout the unknown continent, take some photos or gather data, and then return to the fleet."
"But what if we get attacked, shouldn't we--."
"Listen to Dagger 6, the top brass don't want to start a war with these aliens, the world is watching us, we better contact them peacefully or die trying."
"Erk-, Affirmative."
Michael and his Squardon kept flying for several minutes until they finally spotted something on the horizon.
"Overlords, this is Dagger 1, we have visuals of the unknown continent, I think I saw some kind of structure on the coast."
"Copy that Dagger 1, can you explain what kind of structure you see?"
Michael uses the visual zooming feature with his helmet, the helmet in the F35 has advanced capabilities that can give pilots very good situational awareness, one of the features is being able to see an object/structure from a very far distance, he even has access to the X-ray feature where he is able to see through from his airplane.
"It's some kind of a statue, wait--
The statue that Michael saw from his helmet had a really familiar color, so he zoomed in even further.
What he saw was a statue that bore a very significant resemblance to an iconic statue on the American east coast.
"is...is that statue of Liberty? oh god.."
"Dagger 1, this is Overlords, could you repeat what you said?"
"Overlords, this is Dagger 1, we found some sort of statue structure, the statue has a very similar resemblance to the Statue of Liberty, and the height of the statue appears to have been 310 feet"
"Can you describe the similarity of the statue with the Statue of Liberty?"
"Erggh, yes, the statue is made on some kind of island and has a green color, the difference is that the statue does not depict a human but, rather, a kind of horse... with wings and...horn?.."
The statue that Michael saw was the statue of Harmony, it was a statue of Alicorn mare holding a torch in her right hoof, and in her left hoof she holds a 6 crystal similar to the element of Harmony crystal.The statue was built in 1073 CLD, seventy-three years after the Lunar Schism (Luna turned into Nightmare moon) The statue symbolizes the beginning of a new era of peace and harmony for a thousand years in Equestria. All materials and statues like copper and steel are made in Prance, the ponies took at least 9 years to complete the statue.
"Dagger 1, please do not joke around, we are on the most important mission in American history, or I will have your ass on a slammer."
"This is Dagger 5, I confirmed the existence of the structure."
"This is Dagger 4, I also see the same structure, there is also some kind of city near the statue."
"Copy that Dagger 4, Dagger 3, can you take some footage of the structure and the city please?"
Dagger 3 then sent photos of the structure, everyone on board the USS Theodore Roosevelt was really shocked by what they saw.
In the picture is the said statue, and nearby are dozens of skyscrapers and other modern buildings. But the two of the skyscrapers look really striking, the buildings are similar to the twin towers that were collapsed 28 years ago by some Saudi pilots.
The Equestrian Trade Center (ETC) tower was built in 1973 CLD by the Tishmoon Realty & Construction Company, the building became the trade and commercial center in Manehattan the two towers are about 1368 feet high, this building is the second most iconic part of the Manehattan after the Statue of Harmony.
Michael and his squadron are getting closer to the city, they also begin to take dozens of photos and videos of the city from their plane.
Meanwhile, the citizens of Manehattan start to panic with the sudden arrival of some sort of iron dragon that let out a roar of lightning in the air from the east. This was because the Equestrians had never developed a concept of an airplane before, they only had an Airship for long-distance air travel.
=/// Manehattan Citizen P.O.V \\\=
"Wha-,..what the buck is that?"
"Is it some kind of dragon?"
"I've never seen a dragon like that."
"Why doesn't it flap its wings?
"It's Monsters!!"
"Arrhhhh, runnn..."
"Everypony, please stay calm." Manehattan Police Department (MPD) Personnel said.
Michael and his Squadron circle the city of Manehattan like crows on the prowl, they fly low and slow so they can get detailed pictures of the creatures that live in the city. The roar of the jet engines hurt the ears of many ponies, especially the bat ponies, they also cracked some of the glass windows of several Manhattan skyscrapers.
"Jezz, is that a horse?"
"I think yes... This is really unexpected, I was expecting some kind of short bipedal creature with green skin."
"But, how could they build a city with just a hoof?"
"I don't know, scientists would spend a whole century studying this creature."
"And by the way, why does this city look so similar to New York City? I thought the Chinese were masters of copycats, but it looks like I was wrong."
"Maybe because they've been spying on us? the difference between this city and the Chinese copycat is that the building does not look lifeless."
"Yeah you're right, hardly anyone lives in that fake Chinese city."
=/// Canterlot castle \\\=
The princesses packed up anything they might need and prepared to teleport themselves to Manehattan.
Twilight and Starlight packed up copies of their new spell, Celestia prepared a bunch of files with a brief explanation of Equestria and its history and also its industrial capabilities, for diplomacy and possible trade deals. Meanwhile, Luna was preparing her toys that had been kept in the armory for a long time.
"Luna, I told you not to bring your halberd in this matter."
"I don't want to take any chances, they're invading our airspace, and there's a high chance they're hostile."
"Arhh fine... just don't try to start a war with them okay?"
"As long as they don't attack us first, everything is fine."
"Great, by the way, Twilight, have you prepared a complete copy of your new language spells?"
"I actually named it 'the universal translation spell', and yes, I have prepared a copy of it."
"Good, now let's start teleporting to Manehattan."
Air intrusion like this rarely happens in Equestria, the last time it happened was 30 years ago when dozens of dragons entered Equestria territory without permission and burned some farmland for no reason, which made Luna have to go to the Dragonlands to slap the dragon lords in the ass and demand huge amount of gold for compensation.
The four ponies stood close to each other, they began to channel their energy into their horns and then cast a teleportation spell, and with a flash of light they all disappeared.
=///Downtown Manhattan\\\=
In the midst of panic among the citizens of Manehattan, a flash of light suddenly appeared and three Alicorns and one Unicorn appeared in the middle of the street. The ponies who noticed the arrival of their leader/demigods immediately bowed before them. For the ponies, Alicorn is not only the political leader of their country but also their religious leader.
It was a beautiful site for Celestia to have her subjects bow before her every time she saw them, the scene never gets old although it has been repeated for more than 2 thousand years, but unfortunately, the site didn't last long, the roar of the fighter jets circling the city made the ponies start to panic again. Celestia looked up at the sky and what she saw frightened her, some kind of strange object shaped like an arrowhead that let out roars like thunder and spit fire from their ass flew above the city.
But before she said anything, Luna suddenly flew into the air with a speed that would make Rainbow Dash look like an amateur.
"LUNA WAIT!--,,..Twilight stay here with Starlight, I'll follow Luna."
"Okay princess."
Celestia flew herself into the air to catch up with Luna, it had been quite a while since the last time she flew at supersonic speed, the last time she flew this fast was when she fought against the Nightmare Moon a thousand years ago.
Meanwhile
"Erggh... Dagger 1, this is Dagger 3, I think we made the population to panicking."
"But...why, have they never seen a fighter jet before?"
"Speaking of jets, weren't they supposed to send out some kind of interceptor? I don't detect anything on my radar."
"I think we should--"
Before Michael finished his words a blue trail flew at supersonic speed and almost hit his plane.
"shit, what the fuck is that?"
"Dear God I had to open my fat mouth..."
"A missile?"
"Negative Dagger 1, it's some kind of...HORSE?"
Luna started to turn around and quickly dashed towards Michael's plane.
"Oh fuck, Dagger 1, WATCH OUT!"
A kind of blue aura suddenly surrounds Michael's plane and the plane suddenly begins to come to a sudden stop, Michael had his face smashed into his cockpit avionics, were it not for his seatbelt and helmet he would probably have died.
"Damn, what the hell is this?"
Michael tries to activate his plane Afterburner, but the plane doesn't move at all, some kind of unknown force grabs the plane and holds it in position.
"Dagger 1, this is Dagger 2, what happened to your plane?"
"I don't know, some kind of blue aura caught my jet, I lost control of my plane."
"Argh shit,.. Overlords, we have a situation--..."
=/// Meanwhele on USS Theodore Roosevelt \\\=
The crew on the USS Theodore Roosevelt were stunned by what they saw, first was a statue that looked a lot like the Statue of Liberty and city itself which has a significant resemblance to New York City. They don't know if it's some kind of coincidence or some kind of copycat job like China.
They also finally got a clear picture of the creatures that inhabit this continent, a kind of colorful horses with wings or horns on their bodies. Admiral Jordy Wilson was really interested in how they could build a city with just their hoof.
All of the missions run until some sort of blue tail flies at supersonic speed and almost crashes one of their planes, at first they thought it was some kind of missile until Dagger 3 sent live images of the mysterious object or creature.
Some kind of blue horse with wings and horns somehow caught the Dagger 1 aircraft by emitting some sort of blue aura from its horns.
'What kind of technology is this?' everyone in the room thought.
They had never seen anything like that before, the only thing they could relate to was the Jedi Force power from Star Wars.
"Overlords, this is Dagger 4, what should we do?"
"This is Overlords, do not engage, I repeat, do NOT engage, over!"
"Overlords, This is Dagger 3, I'm spotting the other bogey."
Dagger 3 turned his EOTS camera at another creature that was flying toward them, but this time it didn't try to catch another one of their aircraft. but instead went to the position of the blue creature that captured the Dagger 1 plane.
=/// In the sky of Manehattan \\\=
Celestia quickly flew towards Luna where she caught one of the 'iron dragons' with her telekinesis.
She saw that the other 'iron dragons' were still circling the city, and she was really worried that Luna's behavior would actually cause a war between Equestria and the natives of this world.
"LUNA, Stop! What do you think you are doing?"
"Tia, these 'creatures' intruded into our airspace and frightened our subjects!"
Luna was right, the Americans had essentially entered Equestrian airspace without permission and caused panic among the citizens of Manehattan.
If they did this to a normal country on earth it could create an international incident.
(For example: Russia)
Their plane would be shot down with SAM and the pilot would be captured and sent to Brazil for punishment. But since Equestria status is still not considered a country by any other nation on Earth yet, the Americans are technically allowed to fly over their territory without permission.
"Just look at these creatures Tia, I seriously doubt they're even alive at all."
Celestia also looked at the creature, the creature had gray-black skin, its body was stiff and it didn't have a mouth or even eyes.
A creature that has 6 wings, 2 big wings in front and 4 small wings to its tail, but strangely they didn't flap at all, the creature also spewed a kind of fire behind its body, Celestia could also see some kind of strange symbol on its wings, some kind of star symbol surrounded by a circle.
The creature basically looked really lifeless but not completely dead either, Celestia then tried to cast a spell and try to scan the creature, she could detect electricity and some kind of internal combustion inside the creature's body, she scanned further, and she detected some kind of biological being inside the creature body, she could sense the fear, anger, confusion, and...curiosity? Inside creature's body.
She really wondered how a creature like this could even exist, a sort of hybrid between a mechanical and a biological construct, but that is a question for Twilight and her marefriend to answer later, for now, she must try to de-escalate the situation.
"Luna, please release the creature."
"Wha--..why?"
"Listen, Luna, we still haven't even been a week since we came to this world, I don't want you to start a war with whatever this creature is, we know nothing about them!."
Luna originally wanted to refuse, but Celestia was right, going to war without knowing anything about your enemy was not a very wise decision, so she had no choice but to free the creature.
=/// Meanwhile \\\=
"They're talking between each other?"
"Yeah, I don't understand what they're talking about though."
"Maybe they're talking about a better way to kill you? The blue one carries a kind of halberd."
"Nice joke Dagger 4, I don't think they would--"
Suddenly the blue aura holding Michael's plane suddenly disappeared, and the plane was immediately able to move again, which caught him off guard, Michael almost fainted because of the sudden acceleration, and his plane almost crashed into a building due to stalling, but fortunately he managed to recover from the situation.
"holy shit, I didn't see that coming."
"Overlords, this is Dagger 2, the aliens have released Dagger 1."
"Copy that Dagger 2, all Dagger Squadron members, retreat back to the fleet, we're done here."
"Copy that Overlords, all Dagger Squadrons R.T.B. Over."
Michael and his Squadron withdrew from Manehattan, they activated their Afterburners, and quickly disappeared into the horizon.
"Damn, I can't believe that you're going to be taken hostage by an alien horse, fortunately, I put my GoPro in my cockpit to immortalize that moment."
"SHUT UP!" Michael said.
=/// Manehattan \\\=
"See, they are retreating."
"I think you're right, but that doesn't mean they can go scot-free like that, I will send out an Airship to find out where they are coming from and hold them responsible for this aerial intrusion."
"Huh... alright then, let's get back to the surface, we have so many panicking ponies to be calmed today."
Celestia and Luna then descended back to the surface, where the citizens of Manehattan cheered for their Princess who managed to drive away the 'iron dragon' flying over the sky of Manehattan. Celestia and Luna went to the city mayor's building to make an announcement about the area intrusion that happened that day and how they'll attempt to investigate where the iron dragon came from.
Immediately they were surrounded by hundreds of reporters and journalists that bombarded them with millions of questions. The news about the aerial intrusion by these strange creatures spread throughout Equestria like wildfire, all garrisons and airship fleets began to be mobilized to guard all major cities on the coast of Equestria.
Meanwhile, Luna deploys the 1st and 2nd Airship fleet to try to guard Manehattan and trace where the creature came from, which the Local Magidar Station and the Magidar Detector tool on the Airship show that they detected some sort of fleet of ships at least 898 kilometers from Equestria.
Equestria will show natives that they are not the kind of nation that can be easily underestimated.
=///Washington D.C.\\\=
In a secret basement beneath the White House, President Adam Wright and many important people in the United States government gather to discuss the result of the first contact.
Even though it didn't end the way they had planned, at least things ended peacefully. With this, the second stage of Operation Eagle contact can finally begin.
"So this is the target?, this city has a very similar appearance to the New York City from 3 decades ago." President Adam asks.
"Yes, Mr President, based on satellite results, this is their largest city, so we'll get their government's attention easily."
"So, when will the fleet reach their shores?"
"Based on the speed at which the fleet was moving, they should arrive in 18 hours, we are sure that there will be no incidents that will disrupt the operation."
"Speaking of the incident, what happened to one of the Squadron members that got his plane captured by some kind of weird blue aura, how did the Alien do that?"
"We still don't know sir, there is a possibility that these aliens have some kind of technology that we still don't know/understand, and about the pilot, he was fine, he just had a light injury due to the plane sudden acceleration the moment he was released from the strange blue aura."
"Alright then, by the time the fleet begins to approach the coast of their city, I want all ships on alert, just don't want to have my men taken as hostages again."
"Understood, Mr President."
Everyone in the room stood up and saluted the president before leaving the room, meanwhile, Adam looked back at the files brought by the defense secretary, in the file contained a picture of the physical appearance of the alien, they looked like colorful quadruple horses with horns and wings.
He originally thought they would really look hideous like they used to show in the movies he used to watch as a child, but at least he was grateful they didn't look like monsters and had been nice enough not to shoot down the plane the US sent into their territory.
'Can't wait to see them on the R34.' he thought.
He then closed the file and started to go to his private room to rest.
As the cabinet left, a General within this room regarded this meeting with vicious intent.
=///Manehattan\\\=
Twilight was sitting in one of the rooms in the Manehattan public library, she was trying to perfect her new spell, and this time she didn't take any time to rest, she didn't want to be caught unprepared again when the natives of this world come again, she and her universal translation spell will be ready.
Since the aerial infiltration in the sky of Manhattan occurred, she and the other princess decided to have stayed there to keep watch and try to track down where these strange creatures came from, they said some kind of unknown fleet was detected and was heading towards Manehattan, the Magidar station officers said they would be arriving in Manehattan shore tomorrow, Princess Celestia and Luna has prepared and mobilized the 1st and the 2nd Airship fleets to protect Manehattan from possible attacks.
The two fleets consist of 30 Airships
2 Princess-Class Airship, EAS Celestia, EAS Luna.
12 Provisional-Class Airship, EAS Neigherlands, EAS Neigh York, EAS Mareland, EAS Califoalnia, EAS Germane, EAS Ukrida, EAS Ethioponia, EAS Kurea, EAS Mareocco, EAS Fillyvania, EAS New Zaeland, EAS Austaillia.
16 City-Class Airship, EAS Canterlot, EAS Foaledo, EAS Tokye, EAS Fillydelphia, EAS Manechester, EAS Faris, EAS Horsululu, EAS Whinnyapolis, EAS Stalliongrad, EAS Los Pegasus, EAS Sydniy, EAS Manilu, EAS Manehattan, EAS Trottingham, EAS Roma, EAS Seaddle.
All of the Airships were floating above the city, casting shadows on the city below. Ponies are advised to stay in their house or apartment for a while.
After spending several hours perfecting the spell, at 9 p.m., Twilight finally managed to complete it. After that, Twilight collected her spell sheets and put them on the book cover and named them 'The Universal Translation Spell', she used her magic to make dozens of duplicates of the book so all the information could be easily found in libraries all over Equestria. Duplication spell is a very rare magic, only Alicorns and high leveled and trained Unicorns are capable of casting it.
"I hope this time the spell will work."
Twilight got off her seat and put the books in the library back in place, she left her new book at the local librarian's desk so they could distribute her books, and she kept at least one copy of the new spell for her use.
She then goes to the hotel that Celestia had ordered for her temporary stay in Manehattan, there she finds Starlight playing with some 'interesting' toy that she bought in the Manehattan Red-light district. Good thing that no pony saw them together in that room. (Or so she thought) They both had a very fun night together.
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Damn, in the most interesting place.
Don't underestimate us either. After all, you're in our world after all.
So, please don't do anything highly stupid!!! Especially you, Luna!!!!!!!
I’m sorry celestia but airships won’t do shit against the US fleet
This chapter is filled with the most stupidity out of all the chapters I think, luna rushing the planes for simply flying in circles and going at super sonic speed.
The pilot, Michael, is somshow alive after being in a jet that was suddenly stopped midair going at 600mph but then the story remembers that reality exists when the plane is released (nearly passing out and the stall.)
Now my question is if the mission was peaceful only, then why is it implied the F-35s are carrying weapons then? You know you can take off the missiles right?
Also chad 911 joke, so funny, hahaha.
No offence but you really need an editor. The story is great but it barely has any structure or consistency.
11444716
1. I just thought that was a typical for luna to be aggressive. (Because to me she is the complete opposite of Celestia but still somewhat Benevolent.)
2. I just think because it's magic prevent him from turning into jelly, and also because human (especially the air force pilots) has high resistance to withstand sudden deacceleration.
3.Just because they come in peace doesn't mean they won't bring something to defend themselves, just in case something go worng.
4. Sorry about that, i will delete that now
11444719
I've been doing that for a month now, But sadly I haven't found any yet.
Do you know any editors that i can ask for help?
Is it possible to have a battle soon?
11444735
Sadly no, not anytime soon at least.
11444728
First one is sort of understandable but iirc most of her character is head canon due to lack of screentime, but I'd like to think a more than 1k year old warrior and ruler could keep their head from becoming a rocket and charging at the first possible insult.
High speed crashes are massively deadly, let me grab this from google (nsfwish warning)
What happens to a body in a high-speed crash?
The physical force of the crash can send your internal organs slamming forward into your rib cage.
Going from memory of a Myth that the Mythbusters did and google, of which ill share right here:
One thing that happens when your body suddenly stops in a vehicle is this:
Now, Michael the pilot of the F-35 which luna has stopped suddenly but not the human inside which can move and press bottons. (like using the afterburner for example)
Now what happened to all energy and G-forces? The Jet itself stopped but not him so that means he would be the first human in history to have the single worst case of whiplash and exploding organs since his entire body is being yeeted in one direction, the same direction the plane was going in before it stopped.
And bout the 911 joke, thank you for that but the most you probably needed to do is get rid of the whole chad bit, I think at this point it's probably okay for some jokes but to paint the terrorists as chads is pretty far.
Okay last bit, sorry for the wall of text/rant, i do think the story has promise (the actual story, Equestria going to earth and all that) but if you're going for realism then you'll need two things, a rule of the degree/level of realism you're going for, and consistency, a editor (or pre-reader) can massively help with both, it's a okay fic with many holes but it's not the worst thing in existence. Plus! You can improve and either fill in the holes or just make a new ship, one with many less holes and maybe even some highly interesting decorations on it in the future.
11444734
Do you happen to be in any MLP discord servers? Iirc That's how KK slider (writer of CE) got his and how Connor (writer of noble six) kept his, if not there should be some groups on fimfiction made solely about finding editors or proof-readers.
If it really comes down to it ask a friend who you trust whose a brony
or furry11444771
Thank you , although I'm just an ordinary high school student, I will take the time to study so i can make the story is more realistic.
Also, yes, I'll be hiring an editor soon, I have the money, but haven't found the candidate yet.
Do you know any good editor?
11444781
Sadly no, i would highly recommend one that has a clear set of prices instead of meh pay me this for that and then this for that and one whose cheap enough for you to hire for say a 4k word chapter without spending a massive amount of cash.
Edit: actually if you know Squirrel whose a brony on discord, see if he'll do editing.
I've known em since they were the former editor of connor and his friend so i know he has fair/fairish prices and does a good job
11444782
Oh okay, thanks for the advice.
Nitpick on the timeline:
If Luna returned more than 30 years ago I find it unlikely that Starlight is still Twilights student. She’d be middle aged by that point.
11444843
Errhh, didn't I explain that in this AU that Luna wasn't banished to the moon?
11444867
Musta missed it. Oh well. Sorry.
This is an interesting concept that has appeared much too few and far in between the years. Sadly, I couldn't really continue reading past the first 3 chapters and I'll try and explain why.
The characters so far, Celestia, Luna, US president, scientist, are basically very flat. There are not much inside thoughts or weight behind their actions. Celestia and Luna are very reactionary, almost like she doesn't exist outside of the spotlight.
We cannot grasp how bad the situation is because we don't understand why they react the way they do. Even if the reaction is as cookie cutter as it can get, as long as they have a smidge of relatable, we feel more inclined to stick with the character you made.
The second point is how frantically the scene is moving. There is no smooth transition other than "Celestia walked to Luna room" and "Celestia talked to Luna over breakfast". No one just walks for probably a minute to another room with just blank thoughts or expressions when the whiteout is concerning. Even more so that the two sisters' rooms are probably not close to the dining room.
Especially the breakfast scene. I was hoping to see some characterisation that tells me the rest of the fic is worth reading. Rather, it felt robotic with a blank faced Celestia casually asking Luna about what had happen as if it was boring chatter. They don't feel worried, even when the US president screamed what had happened.
The third is the unnecessary back story dumped into the third chapter. In fact, it was a bad time to be putting a backstory like this. I would still rather know more about the serious situation before the unalarming history lession. I don't really like skipping the history of the universe that any writters made, but if it was an info dump, I would stop reading or adding it to my favourite because it feels like the writter might not respect theirs or our time.
Putting an Alternate Universe tag is already enough to expect that this is not the pony world we knew. A better solution is writting this version of Equestria as if it is common knowledge, then later slowly revealing why and how it got so different.
Sorry I had to chew into you with this wordy criticism, but I had too because this is an interesting story in and of itself that I like to see improved.
I hope you don't stop writting because of this. Good luck with your future endeavours Wordsmith!
11444892
that's actually a very good criticism and I can see why, I'm actually still a bit unfamiliar with MLP lore and its characteristics, I joined Fandom when the covid quarantine started, I still haven't even watched half of all the episodes of MLPFIM, I spend a lot of my time enjoying on Fanart and Fanfiction stuff instead of learning MLP lore.
Originaly I only planned to make this story 10 chapters long where Equestria conquer all earth nation and stuff, but because I saw that people seriously liked this concept, I decided to try to seriously writing this story properly. (Although I have basically zero experience in writing).
I intend to hire an editor to edit or rewrite the earlier chapters if needed, I hope I can find it soon.
btw I hope you can let them see in the world old tech never go out of date, there basically use old and new tech like how techies make a MSX computer run on the internet and have a GUI os and so on
11444756
Awww.....No boom boom?
they probably had to repair that statue of harmony at least 20 times
Ya know, Luna just grabbing a 600-mph jet is gonna cause problems, unless she throws in some sort of stasis, so nothing come apart from the stresses. Problem with that is the pilot doesn't know what happen, being in stasis, other than a time skip in the recordings ...
Welcome to the class 12 deathworld planet called Earth ponies. Everything is here designed to kill or injure you. The local gravity is 9.8 m/s squared. Poisonous plants competing with animals and carnivores,
Fluttershy: Oh my.
Infectious microorganisms, natural disasters, earthquakes, hurricanes, high background radiation. Humans have a tendency to consume Ethanol, which is toxic to them. Compared to some of the alien species humans are stronger have more mass, and faster. Did I mention that the planet's magnetic field is unpredictable, and can flip every 10,000 solar cycles?
damn, I can't wait for the next chapter to come out (sorry for the mistakes, google translator is to blame)
11447500
Don't worry, the next page is half done.
11448003
Thanks
Well this is what I expected from the writer based on his current skill level.
This Admiral needs to be Court Martialled for handling the first contact so badly. You do not send freaking fighter jets on a zero level pass of a city, low enough to crack windows as part of a _peaceful_ first contact. You would send in a high altitude drone or drones initially to observge the contact site and gather as much information as possible. You would have an actual first contact team with actual scientists, anthropologists and linguists analysing the visual and EM take for everything they could get.
When you were ready to initiate contact, it would be via unarmed helicopter, approaching cautiously, ready to stop if challenged.
I would also expect the Princesses, especially of this more advanced Equestria to recognise the fighter as a machine and not a creature, it's made of metal and glass and has a pilot inside. Even canon Equestria has airplanes, though they are at the WW1 biplane level of technology.
I've continued reading this since the whole business with the solar system out of curiosity as to what would happen rather than any real enjoyment, as the glaring errors in handling many elements and the flat characters suck any sense of depth or engagement out of the story. I applaud the writer for attempting something this challenging, but they definitely need an editor and to do more research to make a proper job of it.
11702981
Yeah, I'm sorry if this story doesn't live up to expectations, only copied the original Summoning Japan novel, they sent a plane, Warships, and Helicopter carriers for 'Scouting' and this is because this novel is essentially JSDF propaganda.
hazardous events of this chapter: *happening*
Discord, watching everything from the Warp: I'll need more popcorn for this!
That was great!
I got to this chapter now, I just wanted to say that I think it's funny how the geopolitical predictions the author used, probably some prediction he saw in the media at the time he was writing, is proving to be extremely wrong as time goes on, I wonder what it will be like when I get to the current chapters and if there will be anything on the issue of current Israel or Congo or etc.
lol, I remember these jokes about being sent to Brazil, considering that I am and am in Brazil I can't say if the meme has become real or not nowadays, mainly because of the heat wave and the whole current economic political issue
11768520
Hehe, to be fair, this problem happened to almost every fanfiction ever written.