5 – A Lesson in Restraint
When you’re good at a musical instrument, something a lot of people will suggest is that you should teach others how to play it. It’s a pretty easy logic to follow: if you’re proficient at something, you must be knowledgeable, and as such you should be able to impart that knowledge to others with relative ease. However, as I’ve come to find out, proficiency is not what makes a good teacher.
Not long after Battle of the Bands, I tried to give lessons with little success. Most people ghosted me after the first, and while it might be because they decided guitar just isn’t for them, I can’t help but blame myself. Simply put, I am not a great teacher.
There’s a point you hit when you become so practiced at certain concepts that it becomes difficult to, for lack of a better way to put it, dumb them back down. You forget what it was like when everything was new to you. You retain what you learn, but not how you learned it, or what made everything click.
This is a problem that transcends trying to teach beginners. Rainbow Dash, the other lead guitar player in our band The Rainbooms, has trouble grasping half of what I’m talking about musically. While we’re both self-taught guitarists, I made an effort to study theory while honing my technical skill, while she mostly learned through imitating stuff by ear. There are still plenty of gaps in my understanding of theory, but I have a good understanding of most basic and some intermediate concepts. Rainbow, meanwhile, simply decides what she wants to play and figures out how as best she can.
So, while our technical abilities are comparable, there’s a bit of a gulf of theoretical understanding between us. This has led to multiple instances of me writing a guitar riff, trying to teach her how to play it, and then being unable to clearly explain to her how it’s done. When this happens, she usually gets frustrated and accuses me of intentionally writing something too hard for her to play just so I can outshine her. On more than one occasion, we’ve almost come to blows over this. So now, instead of arguing with the chromatic brick wall, I just groan and retool the riff into something easier. It’s unsatisfying, but it’s either that or hearing her whine about not instantly being good at something.
Trying to get her to study theory on her own is impossible as well. The moment I suggest she try and learn something about music, she adamantly refuses. Her reasoning is always, and I quote, “I’m above that egghead shit.”
Proficiency is not the key to being a good teacher; it’s the ability to communicate an idea to someone regardless of their level of experience. You have to teach your student in a way that helps them understand, not in a way that shows your skill level. You must restrain your expertise and put yourself in the position of someone who doesn't know everything you do. My lack of this restraint is why I’ve struggled to teach almost anyone how to play guitar – or anything in general, for that matter.
But there are exceptions.
“So this C major scale is different from the pentatonic scales you taught me last time because it’s seven notes instead of five. The notes of the scale are called intervals and arranged in the order of C, D, E, F, G, A, and B. And like with the pentatonic scale, whatever note I play first is considered the root note. And that also means this scale shape can be played anywhere on the low E string and all that changes is the root, right?”
“Yes, that’s correct!” I beamed. It never ceases to amaze me how much of a knowledge sponge Twilight can be.
Twilight had been coming over to my apartment every other weekend since before school started again. Not long after performing at the Crystal Ball, she took an interest in music. One day, she texted me asking if I could teach her how to play guitar. Had it been anyone else asking me, I'd have told them to take lessons from someone else or to look up a tutorial on the internet. But I wasn't about to pass up an excuse to spend time with my adorkable beloved.
“So it would stand to reason that this shape could be repeated across the fretboard given the proper numerical fretting adjustments based on the string I start the scale on?” she asked.
Her face was practically glowing as she continued to piece everything together. It was hard to stop myself from smiling as wide as she was. “Yes, but–”
Twilight looked so excited as she interrupted me with her next question. “And since there are six other degrees of the scale, does that mean I could pick something like D and play the notes in the same order as D, E, F, G, A, B, and C? Does that have a name or–”
“Twilight,” I interrupted back, holding up my hand as I smiled at her, “You’re getting ahead of yourself again. First, you should focus on actually playing the scale. Then we can move on to what you’re talking about.”
“R-Right, sorry,” she stammered. Her eyes darted to the side as she blushed a little. Then she pouted as she looked down at the guitar in her lap. She was always most excited for the learning portion of her lessons, but the doing part usually took the wind right out of her sails.
“Don’t worry about it,” I assured her. “I’m thrilled that you’re so enthusiastic to learn, but it’s important to pace yourself. And for what it's worth, what you're talking about has a name, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.”
It pained me to stop her from flying ahead of herself. When she started making connections and discovering concepts on her own just by piecing bits of information together, it made my heart sing. She was just so unfairly adorable. If I weren’t determined to keep her at a steady pace, I’d just sit there and let her keep going forever. It probably wouldn’t take long for her to piece together every bit of music theory on her own just by teaching her this one scale.
When we started, I tried to start with generic cowboy chords. It didn’t quite seem to grab her, as most of the work in learning those is in finger placements. As cute as her little hands are, they struggled to hold chord shapes and she didn't seem to be having much fun trying to do them.
Since we weren’t making much progress with chords, I decided to pivot to scales instead. Since scales involved numbers, it seemed like something she’d have more fun with. Judging by how quickly she got the hang of them conceptually, it seemed like that was the right call.
I adjusted the guitar strap resting on my shoulder as it was close to pulling my tank top sleeve down. “We’ll go over it a few more times together. Then we can wrap it up for today.”
Placing my index finger on the eighth fret, I strummed once. She did too, producing a C. I looked at her hand as she followed my movements. Middle finger on the tenth, strum, that was a D. Pinky finger on the twelfth, strum. She paused for a moment before placing her ring finger on the twelfth before strumming an E.
“Ah ah!” I pointed at her left hand with my right. “Remember what I said: use your pinky.”
Twilight slumped forward and pouted. “Ugh, why though? My ring finger is stronger!” she whined.
“Because if you don’t get used to it now, you’re going to run into a lot of problems further down the road,” I explained. “It’s much harder to start using your pinky after you’ve played for a while than it is to learn in the beginning, trust me.”
“Fine,” she sighed in resignation.
Then we started again. Index on the eighth, middle on the tenth, pinky on the twelfth. Her hand strained just to press the string down hard enough. She plucked, and a muted note rang out for just a split second. I could see her arm tense up as she tried to press a little harder. There was something so cute about seeing her dainty little hands trembling as she struggled to push down on a guitar string.
When she finally managed to hit the note, I just wanted to grab her hand and kiss it all over. Was that weird? Probably.
“Umm, Sunset?”
Blinking a few times, I brought my focus back to the lesson, moving my index finger down one string. Her pinky finally relaxed, as did the rest of her arm. Her eyes darted between looking at my hand, for reference, and her own as she awkwardly repositioned hers so her fingers were over the next string down.
A sound interrupted us before I could make the next move on the fretboard. Twilight’s phone, which had been sitting on the coffee table in front of the couch, started to buzz. She looked over at it, and then back at me.
“Sorry, that’s probably Timber,” she said in a sheepish tone.
Ignoring the pang of irritation hearing that name caused me, I gestured for her to look at it. “It’s okay if you wanna check. We’ll just start from the top again.”
Smiling awkwardly, she leaned forward to grab it. I could hear her grunt as she reached over the guitar in her lap trying to reach the phone. With just a single noise, Twilight almost made me forget why I felt annoyed. Every noise she made was just that adorable. I wanted to pick her up and squeeze her. I’d bet anything that if I did squeeze her, she’d squeak. Just imagining the sound she’d make made my heart flutter.
As she picked up her phone and read the notification on the screen, I could see her smile dissipate. The glow she’d carried since we began our lesson faded right before my eyes. Immediately, I felt concerned.
“Is everything okay?” I asked.
“Wha–? Oh,” she responded. It was as if she wasn’t expecting me to notice her sudden mood drop. “Yeah, everything’s fine! It’s just…”
Several seconds passed without a word as she looked away from me. I didn’t want to be pushy, but “just” wasn’t enough for me to work with. Still, I held my tongue until she was ready to speak.
“It’s just a stupid personal thing. I don’t want to dump that on you,” she finally responded, a mirthless chuckle punctuating her deflection.
The way she responded immediately made me think of the sleepover. It was a habit of hers. If something bothered her – no matter how big or small – she’d say it was stupid. It drove me crazy, but I never told her it did. There was a reason she always responded like that, and while I didn’t know what the reason was, I knew it wasn’t her fault. The only thing I could do in moments like these was to reassure her that her feelings weren’t stupid. As many times as it took until she realized it was the truth.
I gave her my best comforting smile. “Twilight, I don’t know how you aren’t sick of hearing me say this, but if it’s bothering you, it’s not stupid.”
She looked at me and gave a half-hearted smile back before her eyes began to wander around the room. Then she propped the guitar I was letting her use up against the vacant couch cushion next to her. I placed my own on the stand next to me. Another few moments of silence passed.
“Timber just texted me,” she finally answered. “We’re supposed to hang out tonight, and he wants me to come over early.”
A fiery anger ignited in me as my heart sank. Once again, he was encroaching on my Twilight time. It had been almost a couple of months since my drunken conversation with Rarity, and I'd done an excellent job restraining my feelings, but it never got any easier. Every single time I heard that guy's name it made me feel every negative emotion all at once.
Before I could get caught up in jealousy, it dawned on me how weird this was. Why would that deflate her mood so quickly and suddenly? Even more concerning was how she tried to deflect the issue when I asked at first. If something in her relationship was bothering her, why would she say it was stupid? Up until now, she was usually pretty happy when she talked about him.
“And I take it you don’t want to?” I asked.
Placing her phone back down on the table, she looked down and shook her head. “Things have been a little weird between us, and it’s mostly my fault,” she explained.
Rarity’s words repeated in my head. I guarantee you in a month or two the cracks in their relationship are going to start to show. And when they do, the first person she’s going to go to for help is her Sunny Shimmy.
I still really hated that she called me that.
My heart was like a box full of fireworks, and her response was like someone dropping a match inside of it. What could she have done to make things weird between them? Was it actually her fault, or had he said and/or done something to her? Were these the cracks Rarity mentioned would be showing? Was any of this truly my business? My brain was buzzing with an angry swarm of ten billion questions, but I had to keep myself grounded.
“How so?” I probed.
“It’s just that–” she began before pausing again. Her eyes darted toward her phone, then back down at the floor again before she looked back up at me. Her expression looked pained.
“Promise me you won’t tell anyone else? Especially the rest of our friends?”
My stomach dropped. That was never a good question. Regardless, I nodded. She took a deep breath, then let it out slowly.
“At first, we were getting along fine,” she began to explain, “He was really nice, and for the most part he still is. But lately, things have gotten a little… difficult for me. He can tell, and he doesn’t like it.”
My brow furrowed at that last remark. I nodded, gesturing for her to continue. She took another deep breath.
“I’m not the touchy type, but he is. And while he hasn’t gone too far or anything, he’s still very insistent. I’ll fidget around while he’s holding me, and he’ll tighten his grip on me. He’ll kiss me, and I’ll try to pull away but he won’t let me go until he’s satisfied.”
Anger is an emotion I’ve been unfortunately intimate with my entire life. When I was a worse individual, small things were enough to send me into explosive tirades. Things that really pissed me off would cause me to have such catastrophic meltdowns that I’d be everyone’s problem until I calmed down. Since I’ve changed, I’ve grappled with anger issues, but I have never felt fury anywhere near as intense as I used to.
At least, until today. Until right now.
I was utterly livid. My entire body felt like it was going to spontaneously combust. I wanted to scream so loud I’d shatter every window in Canterlot City. Every single nerve in my body was shrieking for me to get up, walk down to wherever this guy lives, and–
Deep breath, hold and let it out slowly. In my mind, I had every right to be furious, but now was not the time for that. There was plenty of time for me to be angry at him later. Right now, though, Twilight needed my help. The only way I was going to help her is if I kept my cool.
“Have you tried talking to him about this?” I suggested. “Maybe he just doesn’t realize what he’s doing?”
She nodded. “When I try to talk about it, he gets terse. Then he’ll act cold and distant. He won’t respond to what I say, he’ll stop texting me back as quickly, and when I ask if there’s anything wrong he acts all confused about it. The next time we meet up, he’ll hardly acknowledge me unless I let him do what he wants, then everything goes back to normal.”
My blood pressure rose about ten points upon hearing that.
“When he’s finally willing to talk about it, he tells me I just need to get over myself. I know he’s right. I just wish I knew how to be a better girlfriend,” she concluded.
My blood pressure rose about ten thousand points upon hearing that.
Without thinking, I grabbed onto her hand. I wanted to squeeze it so badly, but I forced myself to be gentle. Her eyes perked up and met mine. I was struggling to keep my expression subdued. The last thing I wanted to do was show how angry I was, but even then I couldn’t help but hold a stern glare. I was overcome with the need to be fiercely protective. I wanted to pull her into me and hold her close and never let him near her again. But right now, it’s not about what I want.
“Twilight, I may be an outsider in this situation, but nothing you just said tells me the problem is with you,” I asserted. “It sounds to me like he wants what he wants, and when he doesn’t get it, he punishes you for it. That’s not fair to you.”
Using her free hand, she took her glasses off and placed them on the coffee table next to her phone. Her eyes were welling up with tears.
“But… we’re dating. That’s what a girlfriend is supposed to do, right?” she quavered. “This is my first relationship a-and I don’t want to mess it up, but I just… I don’t know what to do!”
My grip on her hand tightened. “Just because this is your first relationship doesn’t mean it’s meant to last,” I insisted. “You’ll have plenty of other chances in the future. It’s not the end of the world if you two aren’t meant for one another.”
Alarm bells started ringing in my mind. Suddenly I remembered one of the other things Rarity told me.
Don’t try to sway her in any direction she isn’t already leaning.
While that may be applicable, how could I not? If she wasn't already leaning toward leaving him after all this, she should be. I couldn't just let this go on knowing I could have said something. Knowing I could have done something.
“He always tells me how lucky I am that he likes me, and it’s not like he’s wrong,” her voice trembled. “No one’s ever really wanted to be with me before, a-and I don’t know if anyone else ever will, and–”
Words failed her as she rapidly approached a full-on breakdown. Even as the pace of her breathing increased, she was trying to hide it. She was trying so hard not to cry, not to panic, not to let her pent-up hurt and self-doubt overflow in front of me. Worst of all was the fact that she thought this was all her fault. Like she was the one doing something wrong. There’s not a word in any language that could truly express how livid I felt at this moment. It was getting even harder to set aside how I felt, but I had to.
With nothing left to say, I did the only thing I could think to do. Pulling her in close, I held her as tight as I could. As soon as I wrapped my arms around her, I could feel the dam break. Tears fell from her eyes, rolling off her cheeks and landing on my bare shoulder as she sobbed. I rubbed my hand up and down her back gently as she curled into me. Hearing her like this was enough to make me choke up as well, but I swallowed the lump in my throat and held firm.
With my mouth next to her ear, I spoke as softly as I could. “I promise you haven’t done anything wrong, Twilight. He’s wrong. There’s plenty of people out there who will love you far more than he ever will.”
Twilight’s body slowly relaxed. Her breathing began to slow as I continued to hold her tight, periodically whispering more soft reassurances in her ear. There was so much I wanted to say, but so much I had to hold onto.
I wanted to tell her he doesn't deserve her. That she deserves so much more than he could ever give her. That I loved her more than anything in the entire world – any world. That I would never let anyone make her feel this way ever again.
But it just wasn't the right time.
As her breathing further stabilized, I paid close attention to her body language. I wanted to be sure to let go the moment she wanted to pull away. But even as she stopped crying, even as her breathing normalized, she didn’t budge. She didn’t unwrap her arms around me. To my surprise, it was me who eventually had to pull away from the hug, even though I didn’t want to.
Twilight leaned back, wiping her eyes and looking around the room as she did so. “I-I’m… Really sorry about–”
“No,” I interrupted. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for. I’m glad you told me.”
With a half-hearted smile, she nodded. Even with her eyes swollen and bloodshot from all the tears, she was still so beautiful. It melted my heart, simultaneously cooling the burning rage inside of me.
“What do you think I should do?” she asked.
This was it. This was the moment Rarity was telling me about. Be honest, but don’t be too honest. Be sincere, but not too sincere. Act as you would with any of your other friends. Don’t push her in any way she isn’t already leaning. The only problem was that I couldn’t tell which way she was leaning. I grabbed my chin and began to contemplate my answer.
She blamed herself for everything. But at the same time, she said she tried to talk about her problems with Timber. When she did, he’d retaliate by withholding affection. He’d make her feel like she was at fault for how he reacted to not getting his way, and then made her feel like he was her only hope at love. He was a manipulative asshole, and the only reasonable solution would be for her to leave him and move on.
It was a simple solution, but was I saying that from a genuine place, or was this because I wanted to be selfish? Was this truly reasonable, or was I just excited at the prospect of Twilight being back on the market? Could this issue be mediated with enough time and care? Was it even worth the time and effort it would take to patch this relationship up? Would Timber even be willing to work on himself?
There were far too many factors to consider, but I couldn’t just sit here silently forever. As much as I wanted to figure everything out for her, at that moment, Twilight needed at least some kind of answer.
So what would I do if I were in her position? The first thing I could think of made me realize he was lucky he was. Had he been dealing with me, I'd probably toss a brick at his head for treating me like that. It would probably reflect poorly on me to suggest something that violent. She’d either see it as a joke (which it wasn’t) or unhinged (which it was).
Eventually, I could only see one reasonable solution.
“Honestly? You should just ghost him.”
Twilight looked bewildered as she raised an eyebrow. I assumed ghosting was a term she was unacquainted with.
“Don’t respond to any of his texts anymore. Block him on every platform. Cut yourself out of his life without any closure.”
She looked uncomfortable with this idea. “Isn’t that kind of cruel?”
Admittedly, it was, but I still shook my head. “Maybe if he wasn’t acting so selfish, yeah. But he wants to have you any way he wants, and he doesn’t care how you feel about it. Worse than that, he goes out of his way to make you feel bad when he doesn’t get his way. If anything, you’d be doing him a favor. He deserves so much w–”
I stopped as I looked over at Twilight. She looked just as uncomfortable as before. Had I said what I was planning to say next, she’d have been even more uncomfortable.
“I’ll… I’ll think about it,” she responded. “You still won’t tell any of the other girls, right?”
“My lips are sealed,” I confirmed. “Though, I don’t think any of them would react any differently than I did.”
“I know,” she replied, “I just… really don’t want this to be a big thing.”
“It won’t be,” I reassured her. She looked back down at her phone once more.
“Is he coming to pick you up today?”
She shook her head. “No. He wants me to make the drive. He always wants me to drive over there. I think he’s come to my place once since we’ve been together.”
Of course he’d be like that.
“Well, that's good at least,” I stated. “That way, when I take you home today, you don’t have to worry about him showing up.”
Twilight nodded and shifted her eyes back and forth, “I hope so.”
Her words weren’t very reassuring. She looked tense. Was she worried he’d make the trip over some missed text messages? Or was she just being paranoid because she was emotional? Was it my place to even ask those questions?
Was it really my place to suggest what I was about to impulsively let slip out of my mouth?
“But if you’re worried, you can stay the night over here,” I suggested. “If you’d like, that is.”
Her head turned toward me. Our eyes met and, for the first time since this conversation began, a genuine smile slowly spread across her lips.
“I-If you wouldn’t mind taking me to my house to feed Spike and pick up a few things, I’d like that,” she stammered.
“You can bring him with you, if you want,” I suggested. “As long as he’s okay with riding in one of the back saddlebags. There’s no doggy seat on a motorcycle, unfortunately.”
She giggled, “He’s fit into tighter spots before, but I’ll clear it with him first. I’m sure he won’t mind.”
“Alright! Let me get myself together and we can do it right now.” I smiled and patted her gently on the shoulder. She smiled even wider at me. Our eyes met again. And before I could get up, she did something that took me by surprise.
In the blink of an eye, she wrapped her arms around my waist and squeezed me tight. Even tighter than when she was upset not too long ago.
“Thank you, Sunny,” she muttered.
At first, I wasn’t sure how to react to her sudden display of affection, but after a few moments, I hugged her back just as tight. Once again, I sat there paying close attention to her body language. I waited for a pull, a loosened grip – anything to indicate that she wanted me to let go.
But it never came. Twilight remained tightly wrapped around me. And I was content to hold her for as long as she wanted me to. It could be a few more seconds, a couple of minutes, the rest of the day, maybe even forever; I would have been fine with it regardless.
I had to stifle a giggle, though. I didn't mind the name "Sunny". I just really hoped she wouldn't ever call me Sunny Shimmy.
This chapter contains back shadowing. I refuse to elaborate on that.
If any of the music theory jargon is incorrect, that's because guitar players have the worst grasp on music theory. Even when they understand some of it. It's just a fact of life. Don't think too hard about it.
I feel like every chapter I add requires an additional tag. Don't worry though, I promise I'm not laying down the tracks in front of the train as it speeds along. Certainly not!
Trust the plan. 
Thanks for reading. 
1/20/23 EDIT: Thanks once again to EileenSaysHi for editing this chapter!
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11357229
I feel like the plan here is for all three of them to be in one polyamorous relationship.
well, speaking of fast updates, and about the chapter... I love it!
TBH, Timber one of the reasons I disliked Timber almost immediately was he reminded me far too much of guys I knew in highschool and college that were, for a lack of a better description "skirt-chasing pricks." Was that the author's intentions? I'm pretty sure not. But that doesn't change that it's how it came across.
Protective Sunny would be scary to be on the receiving end of. Particularly since she's psionic, so if she touches you, congrats, all your personal information is her's, like bank account numbers and passwords.
Of course Timber is being a jerk to Twilight and made her feel like she wasn't a good girlfriend, despite that he was being a terrible boyfriend!
It's a good thing Sunset was there to help Twilight out, even as only a friend.
Holy fuck I made such a noise when Twilight called her "Sunny". and the moments of them holding each other was enough to give me lil tingles when thinkin bout it, and not to mention i mega-related when Sunset would talk about how every little part of sunset was fucking adorable and also especially the part about how twilight would probly squeak when squeezed fdfssdfs like sunset girl i know all those feelings they are fuckin amazing arent they x3👭
also calm levelheaded protector sunset shimmer ftw girl you are knocking it outta the fucking park keep it up!
Never liked Timber. This version. I like even less. Brick to the head sounds perfect.
Not a fan personally of making Timber abusive. Admittedly, I'm adverse to the trope of the protagonist winning their crush from a rival ever since Gravity Falls when Wendy rightfully explodes at Dipper because of how he was being selfish when he exposed Robbie as a bad boyfriend and treated her like a prize to be won. Sunset here is really worried about coming off this way.
Not that I'm wholly against Timber being portrayed as abusive; being older and having more life experience, it would be plausible for him to think that he knows best, try to make the relationship move at his pace and get frustrated when Twilight disrupts that pace. It's just that the other stuff, like the blanking and emotional blackmail, feels unnecessarily tacked on just so Sunset can rescue Twilight from him, which in of itself is a somewhat manipulative way to start a relationship.
I think that you don't need to make him abusive for this relationship not to work out: the fact that they met and started dating when he was the responsible adult over her (and her group) isn't exactly appropriate. Add in the long distance, their different schedules and lifestyles (her education and his jobs) and the implicit incompatible orientation, and the result is Twilight being conflicted about whether she should make it work or not, while Sunset is afraid of looking like or being a saboteur.
Oh Rainbow Dash.
Lol, knowledge sponge.
Guess Rarity was right.
Damn, he's a completely different person when you really get to know him.
Poor Twilight.
Good question.
Who knows Sunset.
Way to go Sunset. Your getting closer to getting your wish.
Hopefully she won't.
Hmm... to be honest, I'm torn here. Cause... as much as I dislike Timber as a character... I'm kind of with 11393579 that making him actually abusive feels disingenuous, a little contrived and kind of... emotionally prescriptive, if that makes sense. And while this is not the worst I've seen of that particular choice and it's not a deal-breaker for the story... it does come unpleasantly close to souring me somewhat.
However, what doesn't help is that, to be honest... that feeling of mine, though sincere, is somewhat in spite of myself. Because... well, I do dislike him. I was always pretty creeped out by him, to the point that in his first scene, I actively wondered if he was a "pick-up artist"
, cause it kind of sounded like it, and while that specific feeling didn't persist, very little of that movie's ham-fisted romance made him any more endearing nor their relationship any more enjoyable or believably enduring. And as a result, while I don't pretend this feeling is rational or realistic, I can imagine him being a less-than-ideal boyfriend. So, this feels... unpleasantly resonant - like seeing my own feelings amplified and distorted in a funhouse mirror.
On the positive side, though, the fact I do feel like that as opposed to just going "nope!" and moving on as I've done for certain other fics that have done similar things suggests a degree of realism - like it or not, there are people and relationships like this in the world, so it felt more viscerally unpleasant than other stories that just cartoonishly demonize him. So, there's definitely something to be said for that.
And I'm not going to give up on the story, but... well, suffice it to say I'm a little trepidatious. Still, I apologize for dumping all that on you - just felt like something I needed to put into words and get out of my system.
Also, unrelated and irrelevant to anything, but apparently the words "Creeped", "Funhouse", "Cartoonishly" and "Trepidatious" aren't in the comments' spellcheck's vocabulary. But apparently, "Spellcheck" is. Huh.
11492756
No need to apologize! I appreciate the feedback.
I've mentioned it in other comments before, but he is definitely the weakest element of this story. I was going through some stuff when I wrote this, and I was trying to make him an analog to someone I knew in my own life and the things they made me experience, but I don't think I stuck the landing. It's one of my only regrets with this story. I appreciate you carrying on, though, and I do hope you find the rest of the story enjoyable beyond that.
I am eagerly awaiting the moment when I know exactly what the backshadowing is
11493148
It will be in my other, currently in progress story!
11492868
That's fair enough. And, if it helps, as I said, it did feel very real, so you definitely succeeded in that respect; I just didn't really think it was the right fit for this story. So, if you'll forgive me stretching the metaphor to breaking point, it wasn't so much that you didn't stick the landing so much as landed well in, in my opinion, the wrong place.
But regardless, I do hope that writing this helped you work through some of that stuff. And do rest assured, I've been enjoying the story otherwise and I think your response to these criticisms has been very admirable, so definitely good on you for that.
I'm in love with this fic too!!
11518018
I'm so glad! Thank you so much. It means quite a bit to me to hear that from you
10 bucks says Sunset Shimmer is going to completely lose her s*** and Timber Spruce is going to die after he sees exactly why she was known as the queen b**** of Canterlot High