Bug In The City

by PointlessGizmo

Chapter 11 - High Society: Act 1

It took quite some time for Trixie to battle her way through her crowds of admirers, and all of her willpower not to use a repulsion spell to toss them out of her way. As annoying as she found the attention (something she never thought would be possible), she also recognized the importance of keeping her fans on her side. Throwing them halfway across the city would probably sway public opinion against her in a very short space of time! Exhausted, bedraggled and irritated, Trixie finally stumbled into her apartment and closed the door behind her, slumping onto the couch with a relieved sigh.

She glanced towards the clock - half past seven. She had just thirty minutes to get ready for Fancy Pants' arrival, but all she really wanted to do was curl up with a nice cup of cocoa and have a nap! Summoning what little strength remained in her aching legs and what little inclination remained in her heart, she dragged herself to her hooves and slowly trudged to the bathroom to begin preparing for her evening, starting with a shower. As she made her way across the apartment, she nonchalantly opened the balcony doors with her magic - Leech would be home soon, and Trixie wasn't sure how many more impacts with the glass doors his cranium would withstand!

Sure enough, Leech buzzed his way through the fading evening light, the cool breeze flowing over his chitinous shell as he made his way towards his intended destination; home. Launching into a steep downwards dive towards the balcony, Leech hurtled closer and closer to the apartment complex before, unusually, applying reverse thrust and touching down gently on the balcony.

"Leech izz not zzstupid!" he thought out loud. "Leech divezz down, goezz zzsplat into doorzz! Thizz time, Leech izz ready!"

With this, Leech smugly trotted up to the doors, before rearing up onto his hind legs and giving a great push with his forehooves. Unfortunately for Leech, the door he had been intending to push was already open, and Leech only realized this when it was too late. He overbalanced and fell forwards, unable to lower his front legs in time to avoid stumbling awkwardly through the door and landing flat on his snout.

"Why univerzze hate Leech?" he mused sadly, sitting up and rubbing his face.

"Leech, is that you?" called Trixie from the bathroom.

"Yezz, Leech izz home!" Leech called, cheering up and forgetting about his sore snout. "How did Trixzzie's photo thingy go?"

Trixie emerged from the bathroom, a cloud of steam bursting forth from behind the door as she cantered into the room and towels wrapped around her mane and tail.

"Ugh... don't even ask!" she answered, rolling her eyes. "It's been a long day!"

"Aww, that izz shame. Izz Trixzzie ready for big evening out at Cazztle?" Leech asked.

"As soon as I'm dry and in my best cloak, I will be!" Trixie replied. "It'll be good to have a bit of down-time before my next show."

"When izz nexzzt show?" Leech enquired, suddenly feeling a little uneasy. "If Leech rememberzz right, your nexzzt show izz..."

"...Ten thirty. TONIGHT." Trixie gasped in horror, her face becoming pale and her pupils tiny. "Leech, I've double-booked myself! What can I do? This is a disaster! I can't cancel my show, Class Act will withdraw my contract! But I can't afford to miss this dinner evening either, I need to get myself in with Canterlot's social elite!"

"It'zz OK, dinner thingy finishezz at ten!" Leech interjected. "Trixzzie can get to cabaret in that time!"

"Yes, but I'll need at least an hour to... how shall we say... enhance my act." Trixie wailed, a spark of green magic shooting from her horn.

"Mmm... if only there wazz more Trixxzie to go around. Leech hearzz legend about zzsomething called the Mirror Pond? Maybe we could uzze that!" Leech replied, thoughtfully.

"We haven't got time to go hunting for something for something that may or may not exist! Besides, there's only room in Equestria for ONE Great and Powerful Trixie! But... you've given me an idea. Leech, make sure you're outside the castle entrance by nine thirty sharp!" Trixie said, her melancholy tone giving way to excitement accompanied by a devilish grin.

She promptly finished drying herself and cast the towels aside. Glancing at the clock, she noted that Fancy Pants would be arriving imminently.

"Trixzzie hazz planzz?" Leech asked.

"I certainly do! Now, if you'll excuse me... I have a carriage to catch!" announced Trixie, quickly levitating her best evening cape over from her bedroom, draping it over her back and fastening it around her neck. "Remember Leech - nine thirty! See you later!"

----------

As the carriage rolled through the streets of Canterlot, Trixie gazed outside at the scenery as it glided past and at all Canterlot's ponies milling around the streets, blissfully unaware of who was inside the carriage that passed them by. She was thankful for the carriage's windows being made from tinted privacy glass - she'd had enough rabid admirers for one day! Feeling the rumble of the wheels beneath her and the gentle swaying of the carriage moving from side-to-side, her mind was suddenly cast back to the days where Leech would haul her along in her wagon. Her moment of reminiscence was interrupted by Fancy Pants, who was sitting opposite her.

"So, Ms Lulamoon," he ventured confidently, "how are you finding your stay in Canterlot so far?"

"Oh it's... lovely. Everything I dreamed of, plus a lot I hadn't bargained for!" Trixie replied, trying to hide her tiredness and her trepidation at what the evening would hold.

"I hear you've got a show to perform immediately after our dinner party. I admire your commitment to your work! I definitely like commitment in a mare." Fancy Pants continued, giving a wink to Trixie as he finished.

"Oh... um... thank you. Yes, I definitely like to be committed to my chosen profession! After all, I'd be foolish not to, since it's perfect for me! Or rather, I'm perfect for it!" Trixie answered, her confidence returning a little.

"That's the ticket! I'm certain with an attitude like that, you'll fit in perfectly tonight. We'll be sharing a table with all manner of high-society go-getters! I'm certain you'll be the talk of the banquet - you're Canterlot's hottest new celebrity and of course, you're my guest!" said Fancy Pants.

"Sheesh. And I thought I had an ego..." murmured Trixie under her breath.

"What was that?" asked Fancy Pants.

"Oh, I-I-I er, was asking h-how much further we had to g-go." Trixie stammered in shock.

"We're just making our way through the castle gates now. We'll be disembarking soon." answered Fancy Pants smoothly.

A minute or two later, the carriage gently bumped to a stop and a royal Earth pony guard, dressed in a valet uniform, opened the carriage door and bowed his head as Fancy Pants and his new favorite party guest made their way through the castle's grand entryway.

----------

Before long, Trixie found herself seated beside Fancy Pants at a colossal dining table, which stretched for several yards down the center of a huge dining hall. Velvet banners bearing the royal crest dangled from the room's magnificent ceiling arches, illuminated by the glow of ornate silver lanterns attached to the many support pillars that ran then length of the room. The soft ambient music of a harpist and cellist could be heard amid the hustling and bustling of the various waiters and serving staff moving around. Trixie looked up and down the table - all of Canterlot's movers and shakers were present. From fashionistas such as Hoity Toity and distant royalty like Prince Blueblood, to global superstars including Sapphire Shores and successful business magnates like Filthy Rich. Trixie's nervousness increased again - not due to her (much deserved) presence among such company, but due to the plan she'd conceived to alleviate the double-booking situation.

Her attention was soon drawn to the waiters bringing out the food - at first glance, it appeared to be a simple dish of a carrot soup starter with a clover and hay baguette as the main. However, by the time the waiter had finished explaining about how the carrots were hoof-selected, imported carrots from halfway across the globe and that the baguette was home-made using only the most expensive ingredients, Trixie couldn't care less what it was. She was starving, and desperate to dig in! Eagerly levitating a spoon from the table, ready to demolish her carrot soup, Trixie stopped when she noticed several of her fellow guests giving her quizzical stares.

"Trixie my dear," whispered Fancy Pants, leaning over to her, "that's your dessert spoon. Your soup spoon's the one on the right."

"Right. Of course, Trixie was just testing you all!" Trixie blurted out, attempting to hide her embarrassment and levitating the correct spoon.

"Bah, a spoon's a spoon! It holds stuff long enough for you to eat it! Who the buck cares what its designation is?" thought Trixie, although she wisely chose not to raise the point out loud.

----------

After the starters were gone and all present were busy devouring their main courses, Trixie was feeling more comfortable. She'd avoided any more etiquette gaffes, and had been making pleasant small talk with the other ponies at the table. Just as Fancy Pants had predicted, all attention was on her for much of the banquet, and Trixie had enjoyed answering the others' questions regarding her act and her new-found stardom.

"I was there when when you made your debut." said Sapphire Shores, admiringly. "And I gotta say, Trixie, you were sen-sation-al! Say, when I go on my tour next year, I'm gonna give serious consideration to making you my support act!"

"Wow! I'd definitely accept such an honor if it were offered to me!" replied Trixie, a mixture of surprise and shock in her voice.

"Support act? Ha! Honey, this time next year YOU'LL be supporting ME!" she thought, again making the decision not to speak out loud.

"A tour sounds great - myself and Leech would love to go travelling again!" Trixie continued, maintaining her veneer of politeness. "It's one aspect of our old lifestyle I liked, and Leech especially misses it!"

The other guests looked towards each other uncomfortably before all eyes turned back to Trixie. Hoity Toity broke the brief awkward silence that followed.

"Trixie, darling, let me give you possibly the most valuable piece of career advice anypony will ever give you. For Celestia's sake, ditch that cretinous little bug friend of yours!" he said, turning his nose up as he finished the sentence.

"But Leech is..." Trixie tried to counter.

"Leech is a changeling. It's really not good for your image. Do you think my empire would have gotten anywhere if I started employing dangerous feral species?" interrupted Filthy Rich. "In my line of work, image and reputation are everything. If your associates are of ill-repute, some of that ill-repute will rub off on you. Imagine if I'd opened my first store with a manticore stacking the shelves!"

Filthy Rich's quip had everypony at the table in stitches, their laughter attacking Trixie from all sides like a swarm of invisible hornets, their barbs stinging her in places that real hornets could never reach. Fancy Pants, noticing Trixie's crestfallen expression and increasingly red cheeks, stifled his own sniggers and spoke up.

"That's quite enough." he said, calmly but firmly. "I'm certain Trixie knows what she's doing in regard to the company she keeps. Any future decisions she makes, whether we agree with them or not, will undoubtedly be the correct ones."

The other ponies at the table quickly subsided and went back to conversing among themselves as they polished off the remainder of their main courses. Trixie said nothing, and instead looked towards a nearby clock. Nine-twenty-five. Close enough.

"Excuse me, everypony." she said, hopping down from her seat. "I need to go and powder my Great and Powerful nose!"

----------

Trixie cantered casually to the door of the dining hall and slipped out, bursting into a gallop as soon as she was sure nopony else could see her. Her hooves clacked on the castle's polished floors as she raced to find the exit. She was having serious doubts about her plan, given the nature of the conversation that had just taken place, but it was too late to back out now. She had to make this work.

Emerging from the castle, Trixie looked frantically about the moonlit gardens. To her relief, Leech had shown up just as he's promised too. Trixie gently trotted over to her friend, who was facing in the opposite direction, and tapped a hoof on his withers.

"BLAAGH!" yelled Leech, quickly spinning 180 degrees to face Trixie. "Trixzzie, don't zzsneak up on Leech like that!"

"Sssssh!" Trixie hissed, putting a hoof to Leech's mouth. "I'm sorry, but we have to keep quiet! Nopony can know you're here!"

"Zzso what izz Trixzzie's plan to make banquet and show run zzsmoothly?" asked Leech as Trixie retracted her hoof.

"You are to take my place at the banquet." Trixie sighed, the words sticking uncomfortably in her throat. "You take my form, and then head back in there for the final half-hour of the banquet. As soon as it finishes, get away as fast as you can and return to the apartment. Under no circumstances allow anypony to accompany you home!"

"Leech cannot keep company with Canterlot poniezz, Leech knowzz nothing about culture! Leech can barely fly zzstraight, never mind make zzsmall talk with important poniezz!" gasped Leech, mortified at the prospect.

"Leech, I'm not thrilled at the idea either. But it's the only way! Please!" she implored, giving Leech her best puppy-dog-eyed look.

"Leech... will try." conceded Leech, unable to forsake his friend like this.

In a puff of green plasma, Leech quickly transmogrified himself into a near-perfect double of his friend, save for a chipped tooth on the left side of his mouth. Trixie removed her evening cape from her own body and levitated it over to the disguised Leech, draping it over his back and fastening it around his neck.

"You'll do." she said, stepping back to admire her new duplicate. "Just don't smile wide enough for anyone to see that tooth, and try not to get involved in any intelligent discussion. Just nod and agree with what everypony else says and if they ask, you're feeling a little unwell. That's why you're not saying much. Got it?"

"Got it." replied Leech, "But Leech hopezz Trixzzie knowzz what she izz doing!"

"That makes two of us. Good luck!" replied Trixie, turning and galloping out of the castle gardens and into Canterlot's darkened streets, hoping to find some decent tricks to use for her show.

Gulping hard, Leech turned on his hooves and slowly began to trot into the castle, his body tingling with nervousness and his mind repeatedly telling him;

"Thizz... will not end well."

Comments

[Metaflare]

This can only end well

[Karna]

Oh god. Poor Leech.

I mean, sending even an ordinary Changeling in there is cruel, but sending in Leech, Spirit of Incompetence in there?

Life is going to suck for Leech, and he knows it.

[Mr. Grimm]

Uh...Oh...I think I have a pretty good idea as to who's going to follow 'Trixie' home...

"In my line of work, image and reputation are everything. If your associates are of ill-repute, some of that ill-repute will rub off on you. Imagine if I'd opened my first store with a manticore stacking the shelves!"

He's got it all wrong. Having a Manticore working in your store would be awesome.

[Zephyrus Scary]

With every second of this night, it seems Tattle-Tale's job is getting easier and easier...

[Georg]

Picturing Iron Will as a stockcreature in one of Hoity Toity's stores. "IF THE SHOE DOES NOT FIT, YOU MUST FORCE IT!"

[Thisisalongname]

I cant possibly see how this can backfire. This is by far your best plan yet Tixie

[PointlessGizmo]

1728155

Huddah huddah huh!

[Blue_Paladin42]

FLAWLESS VICTORY ASSURED

[Themaskedferret]

1721323 I love the title! He needs a protrait of him looking proud and the title underneath proclaiming: Leech: Spirit of Incompletence *dies laughing*

Awesome series, I'm really enjoying it. I wodner if it could work that Leech does the trick and Trixie can learn it from him. It'd certainly save her a lot of trouble. Though I wouldn't mind seeing her get some magic lessons from Twilight too. That could be a fun dynamic to address.

[NaughtSought]

This is going to end perfectly. I can't see anything going wrong with it.

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

I'll be over here, wincing and cringing. Anyone wanna join me?

[SIGAWESOME]

2136585
Save us a seat as well...
There appears to be a sh!tstorm looming on the horizon and we are about to sail full speed through it

1721820
IF YOU WANT TO TRY, YOU MUST FIRST BUY!
ATTACK THE SALES! SEIZE THE DISCOUNTS!

[nemryn]

2136585
Same here!

[Vigriff]

1721323 Out of the frying pan and into the fire.