MADE ON MY BIRTHDAY

the ending my rubs hurt ohh and put more spacing

1336571Um...... Happy Birthday?

1336872
I'm sorry to have hurt your rubs......

Thanks for the shout out buddy!
Also, good story Idea, but I think Twilight would've been dead on the Deathclaw first though. The first one I ran into killed me, raped the body, and then stripped me naked and left me in the quarry. In no apparent order too!

Moar. MOAR! I WANT MOAR!

Okay, your paragraphing needs work.
Also, a few minor grammatical and spelling errors I picked up, but nothing too severe. Really, the walls of text are what makes it a little hard to read.
Still, I'm curious. Just what kind of point is Twi trying to make? If it's "Good does not mean Nice", then I say she's got the best possible candidates.

1343099
Would you mind pointing out a few of those errors so I can fix them?
And I've always had a problem with paragraphing. I shall attempt to fix.
The truth is I'm not sure exactly what she's trying to prove anymore. I had a proper idea, but outside of what I've already put down in the first two chapters the story is constantly evolving in my head.
And.......... Did you........ Did you add my story to the Mojave Express?........ Was it realy found worthy after only 2 chapters

1343130
The rules state that as long as it's connected to the greater Fallout universe and isn't an abomination to the English language and all things sensible, it can be added. So I added it.
Just minor things, like getting letters switched around, uncapitalised "I"s, that sort of thing. Just run everything though a spell-check first, that's what I do.
As for the "story constantly evolving" thing, I know precisely what you mean. The whole thing with Shiny in Wayward Courier? Honest to God, I just thought that maybe he would be bitter about the Changeling attack, and took things from there. I find that best.
Have a start, have a finish, but the journey between those two points? No maps, no guide and no sense of direction.

1343157
EDITING TIME! Thank you good sir

He poked it with a stick... for SCIENCE!

I am heavily curious on where this will go now.This should be good.

And nice choice for Big Iron.

1343212When in doubt....... Poke it with a stick.

he poked it with a stick.
...
...
BAHAHAHA

1343818 I honestly didn't think that people would find it that funny........ Well I suppose I underestimated the comedic value of poking things with sticks.......

1343841
what I think it is is that in a lot of fallout fics, they would carry Twilight to safety or something, but instead he just gets a stick and pokes her with it.

1343841
Trust me, things you might think that isn't funny will be. Other notes another Independent Courier. One complaint though, really....the Burn Man armor with the red beret? Also Holorifle. If you have full 100 energy weapons skill it can become more powerful than even an Anti-material rifle, even in sneak mode. Deathclaws being killed left and right.

1345216
Really, The Holorifle? I used it and I seemed to be really terrible, but that may have just been how fast it broke, how little ammunition i had, and the toughness of Ghost People. :P I never used it after because I thought it sucked.

1345216 What about my armor and beret? It's the most bad ass looking outfit I could think of that wasn't actual armor. Darren prefers little to no armor. Only slows him down. Don't diss the outfit. Thanks for the input though.

Oh my gosh, I hope The courier Talks about science like the brains in Big MOUNTAIN!

1350057No. I hate those assholes. Darren is intelligent but not a super genius and while he can use his intelect and charisma to get out of a situation he prefers to rely on his good old rifle.

1350084 I loved those assholes though! The way they talked and everything they said was so damn funny!

1350139 I realy didn't find anything about them funny. More annoying than anything. Dala was a perv and the others were just plain idiots despite being so inteligent.

1351350 I guess we just have different sense of humors then.

1351413 There was only one thing they said that made me laugh because it was so random...............

"Are those 'penises' on its feet?" I suppose I chuckled