• Published 11th Sep 2012
  • 10,325 Views, 235 Comments

Geoverse Part Three: To Live Is Human - GeodesicDragon

Geo is back in Equestria. But so is someone else...

  • ...


The weeks turned into months, and Twilight and I grew closer together; we were eagerly awaiting the arrival of our foal, and Twilight's twice-monthly check-ups had reassured the two of us that he – or indeed she – was as healthy as they could be.

Twilight and I were stocking up on all sorts of baby goods in preparation for our bundle of joy: toys, nappies, dummies, a crib, more toys, a baby monitor, blankets, bottles... the list went on. As any parent will tell you, all that stuff does not come cheap so, with that in mind, I decided to get a proper job. After all, Twilight had learned everything she could from me about humans; John was no help, and Ace was busy with his own work. I put the word out that I was looking for a job, and was soon offered one – as a bouncer, of all things – by none other than Vinyl Scratch.

Twilight worried about me for the first week I was working; I managed to get her to relax by telling her that the job was the easiest money I had ever made, and the money was good.

"I'm as tall as Princess Celestia," I told her. "As such, I never have any trouble with drunk and/or abusive clubbers."

"Well, okay," she replied. "If you're sure."

And that was that; I carried on working, with every spare bit I earned going towards the foal. I worked during the night, meaning that I was free to spend the daylight hours with my wife and friends, enjoying life for all that it was worth.


"Twilight?" I called up the stairs.


"Vinyl wants to see me, so we can discuss my hours for next week," I said. "Will you be all right on your own for a while?"

"I'll be okay," she replied. "I'll invite the girls over for a chat, and try to refrain from hitting Rainbow Dash with something when she makes the now inevitable 'house' or 'hippo' joke."

"All right." I chuckled. "I'll see you later, Twi. Love you!"

"Love you too!"

I stepped out onto the streets of Ponyville, taking in a lungful of cool crisp air. The sun hung lazily in the sky, the market traders were out in force and school was out for the day. After admiring the sights, I put my hands in my pockets and started walking to the club. Vinyl was waiting for me outside, wearing her usual goggles; she raised a hoof in greeting as I approached.

"Hey boss,"

Vinyl nudged me with a hoof. "Don't call me that, Geo," she said sternly. "I hate it when you do. Call me 'Vinyl,' for Celestia's sake!"

"Sure thing, boss," I replied mockingly.

Vinyl rolled her eyes and led the way into the club. Even after a few months of working here, I still found the eerie quiet of the place during the day to be strange. It was much different when it was packed with ponies eager to bust a move... or somepony's face.

We entered Vinyl's office and sat down at her desk, where she produced a piece of paper. "Right, your hours," she said. "I've made a few changes to your schedule for next week."

I sat down on the chair in front of the desk and made a pyramid with my fingers. "Changes such as... what, exactly?"

Vinyl put the rota on the desk and jabbed at it with a hoof.

"I'm giving you Monday off for Twilight's next check-up, so you can come in on Tuesday. And I know I said you could have Wednesday off, but I actually need you because it's the Nightmare Night party. In return, you can have Thursday off instead; after that, you'll be back to your normal working hours."

She pushed the paper over to me and I read it, then gave her a thumbs up. "Suits me, Vinyl." I stood up.

"It had better suit you, bub." Vinyl shot me a sly wink. "Anyway, that's all; get outta here and tend to that wife of yours."

We both grinned at each other as I left the office, tucking the paper into my pocket. Stepping back onto the Ponyville streets, I caught sight of John walking along the road. I called out to him and he stopped, looked around, then walked over when he saw it was me.

"Hey, Geo," he said. "I thought it was your day off?"

"It is, but Vinyl wanted to discuss my hours for next week," I replied. "Twilight is having a 'girly thing' back at the library, so I was looking for something to do. Fancy joining me?"

"Yeah, sure," John said. "But, er..." He looked around furtively. "I was kinda wanting to talk to you privately first."

I wasn't sure what to make of this; part of me still didn't trust him after the whole 'being a spy' revelation, but it was also my idea to give him a second chance. The least I could was follow it.

"Sure thing," I said. "But where?"

"I know a place," he replied. "Follow me."

I nodded, following him as he walked down the winding streets, onto a path leading past Fluttershy's house, and into the Everfree Forest. We came to rest in a forest clearing. I laughed inwardly to myself; I seemed to spend a lot of time in such clearings.

"So," I said. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

John took a deep breath and let it out. "First of all, I want you to promise that you won't laugh at me," he replied, to which I nodded. "Right, okay, here goes. Over the last few months, I've been working my butt off at the farm to thank Applejack for giving me a second chance. That has meant spending a lot of time working alongside her, getting to know her, and..." He paused for a moment. "Falling head over heels in love with her."

It took me a moment to realise what he'd said; when I did, I smiled. "Why would I laugh at that?" I asked, sounding bemused.

John threw his arms up. "Hello?!" he said loudly. "She's the freakin' Element of Honesty, and I'm a no-good, two-faced, lying bastard."

"No," I said. "You used to be a no-good, two-faced, lying bastard."

"I still did it," John said flatly.

I sighed. "Okay, fine, you're in love with AJ," I said. "But what exactly do you love about her?"

John smiled contentedly and leaned against a tree. "She makes me laugh, she's strong, she's a hard worker, she listens to my problems, and I get on well with her family." he blushed. "She is also really attractive with her hat off and her mane down."

"That all sounds very exact," I replied. "And what's stopping you from telling her all of this this?"

"My nerves." I slapped him as hard as I could upon hearing those words. "Hey!" He shouted. "What the fuck was that for?"

"Slapping me at my wedding, for starters." I smirked. "And also because you need to stop fretting and tell her how you feel about her. Ask her out; the worst she can do is turn you down."

"But when you told Twilight you loved her, you nearly died." I grimaced, and John's eyes widened. "Shit, sorry."

"No, it's fine," I replied. "You're right, I did nearly die. But I'm here now, am I not? Alive and kicking, married with a foal on the way... you can have all that too, if you want." John nodded, and I continued. "Has AJ given you any signs that she feels the same way about you as you do her?" I asked.

"I could be mistaken, but she has started walking with a bit more 'sway' lately, if you know what I mean," John replied. "She has also taken to flicking me with her tail whenever I make a lewd joke."

I raised an eyebrow. "I think those are clear enough signals."

"You're right, Geo. I need to tell her, and I need to do it soon. You have Twilight, Ace has Pinkie... now I need somepony to love."

I patted him on the shoulder. "Attaboy." I said, ruffling his hair for the hell of it. "Now, what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to tell AJ I love her."

"I can't hear you!" I said. "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!"

"I'M GOING TO TELL APPLEJACK I LOVE HER!" he roared, with enough force to send the local bird population flying.

We both cheered and gave each other a high five. But, as our enthusiasm died down, dull clapping could be heard.

"How positively sickening," a voice said, full of venom. "You two make me ashamed to call myself human."

John and I looked around. "Who the fuck is that?" John hissed.

"I don't know," I replied. "But their voice sounds familiar."

"Of course my voice is familiar, you dense prick!" A figure emerged from the tree line, wearing a blue t-shirt with matching blue trousers. "After all, you heard enough of it at my trial."

I narrowed my eyes and glared at him.

"Derek," I snarled. "How wonderful to see you again."

"Wait a minute," John said. "This is Derek?!" I nodded. "The guy who shot you and left you to die in the street?"

"Yep," I replied. "That's him."

"Oh, shit." John walked over to Derek, who seemed unphased by his presence. There was a pause before he spoke again, during which Derek glared at him. When he did finally speak, I was shocked. "Well, this is one reunion I had hoped to avoid..."