Soul
A few years after Big Mac was born...
"Are you sure you can do the deliveries alone now, Bright, I know Granny is a little old now and she's got that business meeting with Mr. Rich but-"
Big Mac, who was around 4 at this point, Applejack and Applebloom were yet to be born, was running around in the orchard with Pear constantly glancing behind her to make sure he doesn't hurt himself while talking to her husband about the trip he had to take to deliver some pies to a currently developing town called Appleloosa, founded by some of his cousins. Nobody knew how the Apple family tree worked honestly.
"I'll be fine, Buttercup, someone needs to watch someone as loud and energetic as BigMac to make sure he doesn't hurt himself."
As he said this Big Mac ran into a tree, got back up, and started running again. Pear ran shortly after him.
"Be careful hon, and don't forget to stay there overnight if it's dark!"
"I know Buttercup, don't worry bout me, worry about our son."
"Alright, see ya tomorrow or tonight, Bright!"
Bright was carrying the two pie carts to Appleloosa, keeping up a decent steady pace on the safe and long trek to Appleloosa.
"Phew, with this pace, I should be there by dusk and can sleep with Sheriff Gran' Uncle' Apple Strudel and the Deputy Silver Star."
On the way, there Bright looked at the scenery and hoped that he, one day, could take his colt, Big-Macintosh Apple, on a delivery run with him. Father and Colt. Eventually, due to Bright just watching the autumn scenery a lot in mini stops, around dusk he arrived with the pie delivery carts.
"20 Macintosh pies, 20 Smith pies, and 10 Pacific-Rose Apple pies."
Silver Star and Apple Strudel greeted him with a hoof shake.
"Thank you very much, Bright, yer gunna help the family grow this town to a thriving orchard!"
Apple Strudel had a wide grin on his slightly aging face, he was Granny Smith's brother, after all, similar ages.
"We had an issue with some Buffalo, but we shooed them off, these pies are perfect timing, we're all famished."
Silver Star licked his lips after handing Bright the bag of bits.
"What were buffalo doing on pre-sanctioned land?"
Strudel shrugged and gave an answer as Silver Star gulped down a piece of Smith pie.
"Aw, heck if ah' know, sumn' bout needing to run there or som bullshonkey"
"Interesting... well, lemme know if ah' can help with any future issues, now I'm stayin' with you Strudel?"
Gran gave a nod and pointed over yonder.
"I got some important papers to do, Deputy Star, showing Bright up to the cabin."
Silver Star gave a nod as he gulped down another slice of his granny smith flavored pie.
"Eeyup, right this way BrightMac."
Silver Star and Bright talked, and Silver struck up the conversation.
"Who made the pies this time, and how is Buttercup?"
"Well, Buttercup is fine, I think being a parent of a now four-year-old, or a 52 moons old colt, is doing a lot to her. I made the pies with maw'."
"I knew it had to be you and granny, ain't no pair like you two in the kitchen!"
BrightMac gave a slight smile to that, he liked being praised for his work, though he'd never admit such. They eventually got to Strudel's complex where Bright would be staying in the guest bedroom.
"Alright, I gotta go make sure the buffalo aren't causing any trouble, you have a good night now, Bright."
Bright let out a small yawn and stretched out a hoof, waving as he headed inside with his stuff.
"You too, deputy."
Pear Butter was putting BigMac to bed around the same time.
"Mama, daddy's gonna be back tomorrow, right? In time for my birthday the day after, right?"
"Of course honey, we just can't have him traveling in the dark so he can get here safely."
BigMac heard this answer but as he was being tucked in he was already half asleep as his mother sang a lullaby.
** Goodnight, my sweet apple, good night under the moon of the orchard where no more Nightmares of the Moon shall sign, sweet tight sweet apple, under the covers where the sun will rise and help you soon bloom. Goodnight, dear sweet apple of mine, as you sleep to this sweet apple lullaby~**
This song that Pear had written herself always put BigMac to sleep and worked just the same tonight.
The day after, an exhausted Bright arrived back home with the empty apple carts in the late afternoon and BigMac nearly tackled him, he was very excited that he was back home safely, running around and rambling.
Cheerilee paused his story.
"Hold up, I still refuse to believe my silent lover was this energetic and talkative, even as a colt."
"Eeyup, hard to believe it myself sometimes."
"Anyways, continue..."
That next day BigMac's party was set up and Granny Smith and Burnt Oak helped with activities while Chiffon Swirl, or Mrs. Cake, helped with the... cake. The party was small, but BigMac didn't care, he and his friends all ran around till he and his friends basically collapsed from exhaustion, took a nap, ate cake, and then opened presents. After that Bright and Pear got... a night to themselves while Granny watched over BigMac for the night. The reason that's important is... That around 11 months later... Applejack was born. BigMac gained an early birthday present in form of the element of honesty, his sister. Applejack. Though they fought a lot through youth, BigMac and Applejack would come to appreciate each other. Then shortly after Applejack learned how important honesty was with the Mr. Rich incident, Applebloom was born, when BigMac was nine years old, Applejack was five years old, and Granny Smith was... 25+. The family was complete. A grandma, her son, his wife, and their three kids. Everything was perfect. Nothing could go wrong now that they were the perfect family. Nothing could go... wrong. Right?
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11152564
its up :>
The story seems to be ok for now. having writers block is not healthy... and to prevent from that is not making another story (making multiple stories could effect your writing and maybe never go back to it like some authors.) Hopefully you don't do that. hopefully you make a fiction and complete this first before anything else. I wish you the best of luck.
P.S I do agree with Mystic Sunrise on this that disable ratings could also effect as a writer since most people rate the first chapter most of that is pretty true. Your true goals is to not make the fiction go into bad groups... (which will effect you entirely if it does.) if you can't accept critics then writing will be hard for you. As users of this site have their ideals and opinions.
For the The Gilded Fox comment I have to say that is true and false... True that people like to give the fiction some hope this may put less stress on the writer. For the false that it can be is that trolls and other mean people on the site can control if it's good or not. (such as troll groups and gangsters.)
In my opinion though I have to say their both correct though. Wondering what kind of audience your trying to grasp?
11242651
I already explained that Id rather have people rate the finished story first. Thats just the way id prefer it. Ill hapilly take constructive in the comments. As for what audience Im going for, people who prefer a slow buildup for the outcome, i promise it goes somewhere i Just have to set everything up first.