Chapter 2
It was the evening of a hastily planned thunderstorm, when I’d caught Rarity and Applejack stuck out in the rain. I’d welcomed them in to take shelter, and it was becoming clear to me that they might not want to go home in this weather.
I feel a little bad about them being stuck. But as Applejack washes up outside, and Rarity dries off inside, an inkling of something starts to bubble up.
They were already here after all. It wouldn’t be as much of an imposition as it normally was…
I slowly pick a book off one of the shelves, holding it tenderly, almost reverently. Could I really ask this? I know what the girls said in our big talk, but still.
And then from behind me, Rarity chimes in, “Darling, what are you up to over there?”
I freeze, not having a good way out of that question other than the truth.
“I... well, I was just contemplating...” I say, attempting to keep myself in between Rarity and the book, “That since... you may be stuck here for the night... we could hypothetically—“
“Out with it darling!”
I wince, slowly floating the book from behind me and presenting it. “That we could... have a sleepover!” Saying the last part quickly, I open the book to its title page and shove it toward Rarity, looking away in embarrassment.
“Slumber 101,” she reads, “All You've Ever Wanted to Know About Slumber Parties But Were Afraid to Ask.” Rarity tilts her head. “There’s a book about slumber parties?”
“Of course! It’s actually a fantastic reference guide! I made sure to study it, just in case! I’ve always wanted to throw one! Especially since we talked about... that stuff!”
Rarity smiles warmly. “A sleepover? Oh Dusk!” She coos, like a grandmare fussing over a particularly adorable grandfoal. Then Rarity’s face freezes, eyes wider, grin plastic. “A sleepover? Tonight? With you, and me, and Applejack?” She looks around nervously. “Well, I mean it’s a lovely idea Dusk! But really I think we should do it some other time, don’t you? It’s just— You see I’m quite busy actually!”
I take the book back, clutching it at my chest. What in Equestria did I think I was doing? “Right, no, it was a stupid idea. Sorry for being weird!” I laugh it off, quickly turning around with the excuse of putting away the book. But the book floats awkwardly, because stupid tears are blurring my vision, and I have to shove it against the shelf till it finds the opening.
Stars, I am being weird. Why am I crying over something that doesn’t even matter? I really don’t want Rarity to see, because I want to respect her very reasonable boundaries, and not guilt trip her by being a crybaby over nothing. She looked so uncomfortable. Of course I can’t expect to just spring a sleepover on my friends and have it go fine!
I just need to wipe these tears off my muzzle, and turn back around. “Dusk!” I hear her call, and am forced to turn back around, hoping I look normal.
She’s looking at me with a determined expression. “Dusk, it is not a stupid idea, it’s wonderful! And obviously very important to you! My hesitation was merely because I want your first sleepover to be under the most ideal circumstances.” She turns her nose up nobly, tossing her mane with a hoof. “But for you darling, I will make it work! Your first slumber party will go off without a hitch, despite any—” Rarity pauses as there’s a crash from outside, which must be Applejack wrestling with the hose, making Rarity narrow her eyes. ”—Obstacles that may challenge us!” she finishes.
My gut feels warm but confused, light and buzzing. “I— Rarity, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want—”
“Oh, no no, I insist!” She levitates the book back off the shelf, opening it for Dusk. “Just follow that book of yours, and Rarity will make sure everything is just so~”
She… she really means it! And I couldn’t ask for a better pony to help with a sleepover than Rarity! This could actually work then! I’m going to throw a sleepover with my friends!!
“Yes yes yes!” I clap my hooves together excitedly, giggling, “Thank you Rarity!” Unable to hide my grin, I start flipping through the book. “You’ll see, you won’t be disappointed, it’s going to be great! I’ve done lots of research!”
“I’m sure you have dear.” Rarity smiles.
It’s then that Applejack strides back through the doorway, sopping wet, but in a way that is probably cleaner than mud.
Rarity quickly strolls over to her, pulling her into a hushed conversation. I don’t know what to make of it, so I just go back to Slumber 101. They throw a few glances my way, voices strained.
When they emerge, Applejack puts on a charming grin and says, “Well Dusk, a slumber party sounds like a mighty fine idea to me! Sure beats slogging back home through that storm.”
“Wonderful! let’s get started then!” I say, then flip through my book, “First on the list is—” I stop short. I had forgotten that was first. I force my ears not to droop. My friends said they would treat me as one of the girls, but that would be a step too far right? I’m already imposing on them… I— It pains me, but I’ll just have to skip over the makeovers step, and get to it some other time. Or never. Whichever comes first.
My voice skips back to life, “—First on the list, scary stories!”
The ghost stories had been a success I believe! Rarity and Applejack’s stories had been oddly short, but I managed to rescue the ambiance with mine. The headless horse is a favorite of mine, I’d heard it from my big brother a long time ago! The use of a sheet to imitate the headless horse was an embellishment of my own, but it made the climax suitably climactic! Applejack and Rarity had practically shrieked, holding onto each other. My only worry was that I made my story too scary, I didn’t want to put them off. But my book said those were successful reactions, so I used that to soothe my nerves.
After that was making s’mores, which was very fun! Though they both seemed a little tense, It was a chance to just enjoy the company of my friends. I sat there watching Applejack roasting marshmallows over the fire, and Rarity gliding by me while arranging the ingredients. It made something in my chest loosen, my muscles relaxing and a small smile on my face. Being here with them felt right, my insides a little warm and fuzzy. That’s something you’re supposed to feel at slumber parties, right? It was cozy! Rarity showed me the proper way to arrange a s’more, and Applejack showed me the way to eat them!
“Now, the next item of fun on our list is, truth or dare!” I announce, checking off S’mores. I’m both giddy about and dreading. What kinds of questions would they ask me? Or dares? That could get embarrassing, but that was kind of the point I think.
Rarity starts, putting a hoof to her chest, “Be helpful for once Applejack and let me show him how it’s done. I choose truth!”
Applejack raises an eyebrow. “If’n you say so, didn’t think truth telling was really your style.”
Rarity scoffs, “I’m sure I have no idea what you’re implying,” she says, motioning for Applejack to go on.
“I’ve always wondered, what age are you?”
A gasp! “Applejack! A lady never reveals her age!”
“It is called truth or dare. Now who’s showing him how the game works?”
“You did that on purpose! Give me a dare instead!”
“Fine, I dare ya to mess up your mane, and leave it that way for the rest of the night!”
“Hmph! Very well,” She raises her hoof, hesitates for a moment, then limply swipes at her bangs. A single silken hair flies out of place. “There! Are you happy?”
Applejack stares flatly. “Uh, no.”
“You are a cruel task mistress, but I am a sporting mare.” Then she sighs, screwing her eyes shut, and proceeds to run her hooves back and forth rapidly on her mane, a massacre of perfectly manicured follicles.
Locks of mane spring every which way, the elegant spiral curves distorted beyond recognition.
“Alright, now I am.” Applejack smiles. “I choose dare.”
“I dare you to come up with dares that have a little more class. You’re being far too aggressive for poor Dusk’s first time!”
“Oh really? How’ bout this—”
My eyes dart between them, stomach going fuzzy with dread, my ears droop down. They go on like that, trading responses that seem a little too pointed for a game.
What’s going on? Why are they so stressed out? Did I miss a step, or set up the game wrong or— or what?
I quickly check back in my book. What did I do wrong? The two mares had been to slumber parties before, so I had assumed they knew the rules. But that was such an obvious mistake as a host! “Um, I don't think this is how the game's supposed to work. You have to give an honest answer to any question or do whatever anypony dares you to do,” I say, hoping that will fix my mistake.
Rarity pauses her heated back and forth long enough to wave me off. “Yes I know, that’s very good Dusk. Just give me a moment here and we can get back on track.”
They just seemed to get even more upset, ignoring me and trading dares back and forth with no regards for the order of operations. And the dares seemed a little… adversarial. Like they were purposefully trying to make the other mare uncomfortable. Did they not feel comfortable asking for truths with me here? Was I messing it up?
Applejack points to me, breaking me from my reverie. “Now look at what you’ve done! You’re making Dusk uncomfortable!”
“I’m not the one who ruined the mood of the game—”
I shrink back. My friends are fighting and arguing all because I wanted to have a stupid slumber party. It didn’t seem like anypony was having any fun. So it was my responsibility as host to put a stop to it and fix this. Even though I didn’t even get a turn.
I pipe up, too brightly, “Why don’t we, uh, check off truth or dare for now, and move on to our next really fun activity!”
Applejack looks over at me and sighs, “Maybe that’s for the best.” Then she glances over at Rarity, giving her the stink eye.
Guilt and embarrassment burn in my stomach, but I flip to the next page of my book. Surely the next activity will fare better! “Next up is… a pillow fight? What is that?” I peer down at the text.
“Ah! It is a rather crude activity, but it’s such a staple I rather feel it’s our responsibility to pass on our knowledge for your first slumber party! Right, Applejack?”
Applejack just raises an eyebrow.
“Very well then!” She holds up one of the available pillows in her magic, inspecting it and giving it a squeeze. “Now, pillow firmness is obviously the first attribute one thinks of!” I nod along, attention rapt. "But the true key is the stuffing, feathers too downy and small will spill out everywhere! You’ll have made yourself a pillow mess instead of a pillow figh— ” The dull thump of a pillow hitting Rarity’s face at high speed interrupts her.
Rarity shakes her head, eyes locking on Applejack. “Applejack! You can’t just start tossing pillows willy nilly!”
Applejack replies with an easy smile, “Reckon’ I just did.” before kicking another pillow, hitting Rarity square in the face. “Dusk’ll learn better from doin’ that from just frettin’!”
Rarity practically growls, “Oh that is it! You have this coming!,” then grabs a pillow and returns fire with equal force!
“Oh! I get it! Pillow. Fight. Fun—Oof!” A pillow whacks me in the side of my head. Then another from the other side, then another. Too late I realize I’m directly in the crossfire, as I collapse into a pillowy heap. I had never imagined pillows could be such effective projectiles.
I peek my muzzle out of the pillows and consider my options. I’m a stallion, I can’t just throw things at a mare! But treating them differently just because of their gender is also wrong! The book doesn’t say anything about this! I wish I was somepony who’d been born with common sense, who could understand where the line was without a guide book! Oh what do I do? I can’t ask them, they’re already so upset!
I just want to crawl back under the pillows and hide, but instead I make myself speak up, “Uh, girls I don’t mean to interrupt, but could we maybe take it down a notch?”
“If she would let me finish anything properly I could!” Rarity answers, as another pillow soars over my head.
“Well If you would finish anything at all, I wouldn’t have to,” Applejack replies, still tossing pillows.
I rise slowly, pillows sloughing off of me, and it seems to be enough to give them pause. “I’m actually feeling pretty tired. Could we just… call it a night and go to bed?”
Distracted from their feud, they both take in my words. And they both deflate, ears turning down. I would feel even more guilty at the sight of it, but I’m already past the saturation point, and all I want is to curl up in bed and get this over with. It’s definitely too early to go to bed, but I don’t care about that either. Of course my first slumber party was a weird mess, it fits me perfectly.
The sleeping arrangements had already been laid out, a spare bed placed across from mine on the other side of the bedroom loft. I tried to put on some semblance of brightness, of host-worthy attitude, as I wished them goodnight. Even I knew my heart wasn’t in it.
I’m laying stiffly in bed, trying to sleep in a ‘normal’ way. I don’t know exactly what that means, but I just… try to make myself as still and unnoticeable as possible. I don’t want to cause any more problems. Any other time, two of my friends sleeping in the same room with me would be scary, maybe thrilling? But right now I’m just tired.
I focus on my breathing, and try to make myself drift off to sleep, but something tickles at the edge my hearing as I do, distracting me. It grows, slowly building into whispers, hushed voices. I’m ignoring it. I am ignoring it and going to sleep. Whatever Rarity and AJ are talking about is their business, and not mine. Because I am an asleep pony. Asleep ponies don’t have business, except maybe dreaming.
But instead of fading or petering out, the voices just get more heated. They’re arguing, again. Because of me, because of this horrible idea. A choking sob works it’s way up my throat, but I keep it inside, it feels sharp stuck there in my throat. I’m just stuck here, tension slowly filling up my body.
I don’t want them to be stuck here, unhappy, with me. Sitting up in bed, I see Rarity and Applejack with the blanket in their mouths, tugging it back and forth between them. Not for one more minute. I can’t take it anymore!
“Please stop! Please!” I almost yell.
They both freeze, eyes turning to me.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” My voice breaks, “I never should’ve dragged you two into my weird fantasy! I just made you m-miserable! I thought I had followed everything in my book, so that you’d be happy, and things would be good!” Tears of shame start to mat my coat. “It wasn’t the book that was wrong, it was me. I’m not supposed to be here, I shouldn’t be here!” Flickers of my magic pulse up and down my spine, like it’s trying to tear itself out of me, my body shakes with the effort of keeping it in. “I ruined e-everything!”
Through my tears, I see Applejack and Rarity stare at me incredulously. I hug the sheets to my chest. The blanket drops from Applejack’s mouth, and she approaches my bedside, frowning with concern. “Sugarcube, what in the hay are you talkin’ about? You didn’t do anything wrong, you put in all that work to throw a right swell Slumber Party, it was sweet as can be!”
Rarity approaches from the other side of the bed, resting a hoof on my shoulder. “You poor dear, you have absolutely nothing to feel bad about, of course you belong here! You were a delightful and charming host!”
I sniffle, confused, eyes roaming between them, “B-but— It wasn’t any fun at all… If I didn’t mess it up, why were you both so upset?”
They both turn and speak simultaneously, “I just didn’t want her to ruin it for you!” Applejack is pointing at Rarity. Rarity is pointing at Applejack.
I let out an involuntary whimper at their loud declaration.
Hearing it, their voices hush. Their wide eyes dart to me, then to each other, then back to me. Their ears droop down.
“Oh horseapples,” Applejack murmurs, looking down at her hooves.
Rarity turns to Applejack, voice a little hesitant, “But— I was the one trying to make this Slumber Party a success!”
“You were?” Curiosity has replaced Applejack’s ire. “But so was I!”
“Of course I was,” Rarity explains with a furrowed brow, “I could tell how much doing things correctly meant to Dusk! So I went through everything slowly and properly, I didn’t want him to have to worry about a thing!”
“Rarity, I wanted the same exact thing! I know how anxious Dusk gets, so I was just trying get em to let loose and relax a little, that’s what slumber parties are for!” Applejack shuffles her hooves. “I… I didn’t even notice what you did. I just knew Dusk was unhappy, and I blamed you without lookin’ to see what the real issue was!”
Rarity looks up to the side, pronouncing her woe, “Well I was so caught up in teaching every last thing, I failed to even notice we were making our friend miserable!”
Applejack sighs, then chuckles softly, “It kinda sounds like… we both coulda used the other’s help tonight.”
Rarity pouts. “I’m afraid to admit, you may be right.”
“Well ain’t that a first!” AJ smirks.
“Oh don’t you start with me!”
“Sorry, force a habit.”
The dread in my gut loosens. “So you’re sure you’re not… mad because of me?”
“Not one bit. We let our own silly argument get in the way of having a fun night with our friend!” I recognize the same guilt I’ve been feeling on her face, “And that you were here blamin’ yourself is just the lid on the apple crate, I’m awfully sorry.”
“I apologize as well, this incident is a shame upon my socialite record!” Her eyes soften at me. “And thinking poorly of yourself is the last thing you should do. You’re a wonder darling!”
My stomach is doing flip flops from the sudden reversal. Now they’re apologizing to me. And— And saying nice things about me. Oh goodness.
At the same time, the analytical part of my mind is contextualizing this, figuring out how this could make a letter to the Princess. I loosen my hold on the covers, body relaxing. “I’m just glad you girls aren’t fighting anymore…”
“That ain’t exactly a high bar.”
“I agree Applejack, Dusk deserves much more of a resolution,” Rarity says, “We’ll have to make it up to you the best way we can! By turning this around into the best Slumber Party you could imagine!” She strikes a pose, head tilted in stylish contrition. ”I swear it upon my honor as a lady!”
She cracks one eye open to look over at Applejack. “If you would join me, that is…”
The slightest smile spreads onto Applejack’s muzzle. “Sure thing Rarity, reckon I can manage that.” She turns to look at me. “What’dya say? Ready for another go?”
I hesitate, looking at the two of them, and the warmth in their eyes. It reminds me of why I wanted to have this slumber party in the first place. “I…” my eyes light up. “I— Yes! Yes!” I hop out of bed. “I’ll go get my book!”
A few hours later, we’ve gone through all sorts of games and activities. And actually had fun doing them! It’s amazing how much of a difference having your friends actually want to be together makes! Rarity described what everything meant, and then Applejack would help me actually do it. Slowly all the tension wound out of me, and in its place a sense of lightness. I was getting really relaxed. Maybe a little too relaxed, because I left Slumber 101 sitting open on the table, and Rarity’s eyes latched onto something that even I had almost forgotten.
She holds the book in her telekinetic grasp. “You know Dusk, it says here that the first activity is makeovers!” She tsks, “My my, you must really not want to do it, if you skipped a step on a list!”
“It’s not that!” I look away awkwardly. “It would just be… weird, right?”
Rarity stares at me, incredulous. Then she stamps her hoof on the ground valiantly. “Dusk, we agreed to treat you like one of us girls. And I intend to do exactly that!” her posture relaxes. “Isn’t that what you wanted?”
I scrape at the ground. “Well, yes…”
She grins, trotting behind me. “Then I’m definitely giving you a make over!”
“But—”
Rarity starts pushing over towards the mirror. “No buts! Sorry Dusk, everypony gets a makeover, colts too! You must simply grin and bear it, for the good of the Slumber Party!”
From that point, very many things happened that are beyond my comprehension. There were flat irons, and powders, and lipstick, and quite a lot of hair pulling that Rarity insisted was all “part of the process of beautification.” A desperate look to Applejack resulted in a sympathetic eye roll.
Though despite the occasional discomfort, I had to say having Rarity work on me like this is always really nice. There’s something calming about the gentle touches, moving and adjusting my body. And with her giving me a… a makeover with makeup and everything, it becomes a lot more intimate. Like I’m a canvas upon which she paints, her shaping me, recreating me.
I start to drift off a little, only responding to the occasional request to turn my head this way or that. Suddenly, Rarity’s voice demands my attention.
“And, done!” She spins me around to face the mirror. “Take your time to marvel.”
My eyes focus on the reflection in front of me. I stare for a moment, tilt my head and then it suddenly clicks that I’m looking at myself.
Taking a step closer, a breath escapes me. I look good. I look really good. The makeup is surprisingly naturalistic. It’s hard to articulate the difference except that I look softer and brighter. The eyes staring back at me seem larger, and more curious somehow. My hair is brushed out and flattened, instead of the tousled mess that usually accompanies me, and it looks longer, almost stylish.
As I look in that mirror, a smile grows, and my hooves start to tap excitedly. I look so good I look—
Cute. Soft and cute. This is the first time in recent memory I’ve ever wanted to look at myself in the mirror. And I do! It’s hard to look away, seeing it just… makes me feel good about being me! Seeing me, I guess. Gosh that’s weird to say. Why is that weird to say? Why am I smiling?
I’ve dressed up before, I looked good, aesthetically. I think. So why am I—
I notice Rarity is beaming at me, stars in her eyes. Her hooves are rubbing together in a fashion I can only describe as sinister.
Applejack raises an eyebrow at her. “Now what are you schemin’?”
“Oh nothing~,” Rarity replies singsong, “So Dusk, how do you favor your transformation?” she asks, acting like she already knows the answer.
I feel on the spot suddenly, the attention of these two mares focused on me as I'm sitting here wearing makeup. Why is she asking me like that? I blush. “Um, good! It’s very neat! You are very skilled at makeup.” It sounds stilted even to me.
“Wonderful, wonderful!”
“Yeah,” Applejack drawls, “Not too shabby Dusk! Though you don’t need no makeup to look pretty.”
My first thought is translating that double negative. The second thought is wait what? Pretty? That— Is a very odd thing to imply about me. Why would she… say that?
“Uh. should I, keep it on?” I ask the two sheepishly.
“Well it’s customary to keep it on at least until one goes to bed, I’ll help you remove it as well.”
I breath a sigh of relief. Ok. Just… play it cool. There’s nothing weird about stepping out of your comfort zone, that’s what this is for, right? Rarity and Applejack are both taking it in good fun, no need to get so serious about it! No need for me to get weird about it. “Sounds good!” I smile casually.
We push a couple hours later into the night, digging deeper into our tome of activities. I couldn’t be more delighted that Applejack and Rarity actually seem to be enjoying each others company. Their bouts of one-upsmareship seem good natured, judging by the mutual laughter.
I’m a little sad when the time comes to take off the makeup. It must be because I don’t want this night to end. It started out rough, but in the end it was even more special than I could’ve hoped for!
It was awkward having to be told by Rarity how to clean myself off, like I was a foal again or something, but that was over quickly. The look of me in that mirror won’t leave me. Maybe I should care more about my appearance, then I might feel the way I did more often.
Applejack’s already left the room, and I turn to Rarity. “Maybe we could… do something with my appearance again some time? I kind of… liked how I looked, it was different,”
It wasn’t a smirk, but her smile was certainly thinking of becoming one. “Oh of course! That is my wheelhouse after all.”
Ok, oh. That’s… ok. I really did ask her that. “Thanks… Rarity.”
“Well, what are friends for darling!”
Pretty soon we were headed to bed for real this time. Without my heightened state of distress, the reality of my two friends sleeping in the same room as me actually starts sinking in. It’s so strange!! I have mares sleeping over in my room! They aren’t sleeping here in that way of course, we’re friends, it’s totally different. Their presence is a little nerve wracking, but it’s also comforting in a way. Even in this quiet and this privacy, my friends are still with me, and I’m not alone. They help drive away the uneasy silence that happens when Spike isn’t here.
As the sound of the two mares’ breathing slows, it seems they finally fallen asleep for real. I guess they really do feel comfortable around me. That thought glues a sleepy smile to my muzzle. I can’t help but peek open one eye and take a look at them. In her sleep, Applejack absentmindedly threw a hoof over Rarity, and Rarity’s snuggled into it. I smile, it’s just wonderful that two ponies who seem so different can end up being such good friends!
I lay back down. I snuggle my pillow for lack of another pony. Maybe I’m not so weird after all? With that thought in my head, I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.
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I lub sum wholesome stoof like dis *squees excitedly*
yea
Hmm... I was going to say that Dusk's self-esteem and Twilight's were inversions, but Twilight very much seems to alternate between pride and inadequacy. Is Dusk also supposed to have both sides, or just the latter?
11139147
Dusk is Twilight, I think. It’s not really a healthy way about thinking about transitioning people to split them into a before-transition self and after-transition self. Dusk/Twilight is really one person, and she’s experiencing the inadequacy, the pride, and more that comes from encountering these new and strange things, like makeup and sleepovers.
Unless you mean canon Twilight, in which case I think Dusk does have plenty of moments of pride, the story is just about those moments when she feels inadequate.
aww, the sleepover episode! the recontextualization here is already so interesting
augh, there's a whole other layer in this context to Twilight getting ideas for sleepovers from a book because they've never had one before
and of course Dusk is too fixated on their anxiety about being bad that they miss the very italicized and Applejack in Rarity's objection, agh, so good
ah, i just want to slice up Rarity's dramatics and eat them like a delicious cake
augh what a wonderful RariTwi exchange, love it!
aww, the obliviousness!
just seeing the episode's events from Twilight/Dusk's point of view is very fun for some reason
so Rarity i love this
oof, the scrupulosity here is so relatable. that other people have their own lives going on, and their own reasons for having bad times or being upset that have nothing to do with my own actions is a lesson that it took my twenties to slowly internalize, and seeing it here just reminds me so much of my old self
aww, poor Dusk! i just want to give them a hug
ah, i've played this game!
oof, and that is where it diverges from the canon episode
augh, and this re-expresses the episode's conflicts in this new context so perfectly for these characters! i love it
aww, this sounds so heavenly! augh, Rarity...
hehehe can totally picture this
ooh, brain-breaking moment! oh, to be called pretty by Applejack...
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just noticed that Spike has his own tag, I wonder how he is gonna come into play later on.
Overall Chapter Rating is:
Cute
Although this version of Twilight seems to be a lot more depressed and dejected than our normal nerdy purple fluff. Probably has something to do with being unknowingly trans their whole life.