4 – Facing Guilt
Chapter Four
Facing Guilt
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“Welcome back,” Daffodil Breeze said as she greeted Fluttershy in the lobby.
Fluttershy smiled at her. “Hi, Daffodil.”
Daffodil gestured for Fluttershy to follow her, so she did. They went through the lobby, into a hallway, up some stairs, through another hallway, and then into Daffodil’s office. It was decorated a lot like a school classroom, with motivational posters on the wall and little else.
Fluttershy took a seat beside Daffodil’s desk. There were three seats at various parts of the room that Fluttershy could choose between, but she always sat in the one closest to Daffodil. They both sat on the same side of the desk, and for the most part, they faced one another with nothing in between them. Daffodil had a computer on her desk that she would occasionally turn to type on, but otherwise she always gave Fluttershy her full attention.
“So how are you doing today?” Daffodil asked once they were both seated.
“I’m good,” Fluttershy said, and for once she felt like it was true. “I got a dog.”
“Oh, great! Pets are a great source of companionship.”
“I think that’s why I wanted a dog. Someone that’ll light up whenever she sees me.”
Daffodil nodded. “Yes, they can be very expressive animals. What’s her name?”
“Cherub. She’s a German Shepherd.”
“Very loyal breed.”
Fluttershy smiled. She didn’t specifically think she’d needed a dog that could protect her, but she thought she might feel safer being home alone with a dog like that. “She’s just a puppy right now, but she’s already the light of my life.”
“I’m really glad to hear you have something positive going for you.”
Fluttershy nodded, all smiled. But that couldn’t last. “Although…”
“Oh?” Daffodil gave her a concerned look. “Is something wrong with her?”
“Oh, no, she’s fine. The vet said she’s in perfect health, and she’s doing good in her training. But it’s just… I know we only have so much time to talk, and well…”
“Is there something else you’d like to talk about?” Daffodil smiled at that, and Fluttershy understood why; she’d never once been the one to initiate a conversation.
“I don’t know. I guess.” Fluttershy sighed. “My friend Lemon Zest says I need to open up more to you about stuff. I don’t know if it’ll help, but…”
Daffodil nodded and smiled. “Opening up is definitely a good idea. Where would you like to start?”
Fluttershy glanced out of the window. “I guess I’d just like to talk. And maybe if I get stuck you could help me keep going, but mostly I think I should just talk.”
“That sounds good to me.”
Even though it was what she wanted, Fluttershy still hesitated. There was just so much… “There’s a lot of stuff I haven’t told you. And I thought it didn’t matter because I thought I was over it all, but maybe… maybe I really wasn’t.”
“That’s not uncommon.” Daffodil inclined her head. “Start wherever you’d like. I’m listening.”
“Right. Well, I guess the best place to start is with my mom. She died when I was fourteen. She was everything to me. She was always sick, so it wasn’t a surprise, exactly, but still.”
“No fourteen-year-old expects to go through that. Nor should they. How did you feel about that?”
Fluttershy smiled. “It hurt, and I probably could’ve used some therapy back then. But I’ve come to terms with my mom’s passing. Really, it isn’t like the other things I need to talk about, I’m okay with it.”
Daffodil smiled. “Okay, we’ll move on from there then. What happened after your mom passed?”
Fluttershy’s smile fell away. “Then I was alone with my step-father.”
“I can tell you don’t like him much.”
Fluttershy let out a small laugh. “No, I don’t. He was… well, even when my mom was alive, he was abusive. He would yell at me, and sometimes, when he was really drunk he’d hit me.”
“And after she died?”
“Then he never stopped hitting me…” Fluttershy took a deep breath. “And… and he started doing other things…”
Daffodil pursed her lips, pausing with Fluttershy for a moment. When she spoke, however, her voice was level and professional. “Are you comfortable talking about what he did?”
“He raped me,” Fluttershy said simply. “I was only fifteen. One night he came into my room and… and he raped me. And then he did it again. And again. He raped me for over three years.”
Even at that, Daffodil didn’t break professionalism. “I can’t imagine what that must have been like. Did you tell anyone?”
Fluttershy shook her head. “It didn’t feel like I could. I was so ashamed, and I felt like if I told anyone, they’d believe him over me. He was supposed to be my dad, he was supposed to be taking care of me, and he was the adult. I thought if I told anyone, he might hurt me worse, or even kill me. And I thought… and… I was just so ashamed.”
Daffodil saw what was coming and handed Fluttershy a box of tissues. She had thought she had come to terms with this ages ago. The nightmares had mostly stopped, she could go days or weeks without thinking of him now, she thought she was better.
Fluttershy wiped her eyes and blew her nose. Daffodil moved a trash bin closer to her, so she threw away the tissue, keeping the box on hand. “I used to spend the night at my friends’ houses every chance I could. I could handle him in the day, I could deal with the beatings and the insults, but at night… he’d come home smelling like alcohol, and I’d try to hide under my blankets, and…” Fluttershy took a deep breath. “And it never helped. I even tried locking my door once. He broke it down, and… well, after what he did that night, I never tried locking the door again.”
“Of course. He had all the power, and all you could do was pray.”
“I prayed a lot. I used to believe so much more than I do now, I used to go to church and I’d pray to God, and…” Fluttershy looked away, feeling deeply ashamed for what she was saying. “And He never helped.”
“Religion is a difficult subject.”
Fluttershy smiled a little. “I know. Maybe we could talk about that another time, but there are really other things I’d rather focus on today.”
“Of course.” Daffodil nodded. “So you got out, though. How did that happen?”
Fluttershy closed her eyes. “Sunset Shimmer. My friend, and later my first girlfriend. She got me out.”
“You told her what was happening?”
Fluttershy shook her head. “No, she saw what he was doing. Not everything he was doing, she didn’t know I was being raped, but she could tell he was abusive, I guess. She convinced me to move in with her.”
“I think it’s safe to say that was a positive move?”
“It was.” Fluttershy smiled briefly. “I was happy, for a while. It was the only time I was ever really happy. But I was still so scared, and I was so lonely.”
“Did something happen between you and Sunset?”
Fluttershy nodded. “My step-father told me so many times that I was only good for one thing. And I thought if that’s all I was good for, I could use that. I thought if I had sex with Sunset, then she wouldn’t leave me. That she’d protect me.”
“Did you know you liked girls at the time?”
“Yes. I knew even when I was little. What I never knew was if I’d like guys if it wasn’t for Stormy Skies. Oh, that’s his name, my step-father. I usually just call him that.”
“We can call him that if you want. Whatever you’re comfortable calling him.” Daffodil smiled a little. “We can just call him The Asshole if that makes you feel better.”
Fluttershy smiled at that. Despite her constant professionalism, Daffodil Breeze really was personable too. “Stormy Skies is fine. But uhm, I think he ruined men for me, in a way. I mean I don’t know if I would like guys romantically if it wasn’t for him, but I… I don’t like being around men now…”
“What do men make you feel?”
“I guess… scared… But, uhm, not always. I have guy friends. Windfall, our guitarist, I pretty much live with him when we’re on tour. And he’s great, he’s a perfect gentleman, and I know he’d never lay a hand on me. But… sometimes, if I don’t know he’s there…”
“It triggers you when he catches you off guard?”
“Yes. Especially if, uhm, if I’m asleep and he’s the one who comes to wake me up. Then it’s like I’m fifteen again.” The more she talked about it, the stupider Fluttershy felt for ever thinking she was over Stormy Skies and what he did to her. “I feel so bad. I just feel so guilty for having these feelings when Windfall is such a good friend to me.”
“It’s important to remember you can’t control your triggers.”
“I know, but I just feel so damn guilty. All the time, about everything! I always have something I feel guilty about. And Windfall… he’s so tall, it’s hard to not feel like I’m a teenager again when I’m standing next to him. But Gilda’s just as tall, and she doesn’t set me off…”
“But Gilda’s a woman.” Daffodil folded her hands in her lap. “You know, some women in your situation would cut ties with men completely.”
Fluttershy shook her head. “I wouldn’t ever want to do that. It’s not Windfall’s fault. It’s not any other man’s fault, it’s all Stormy Skies.”
“I think that’s very mature of you.” Daffodil glanced away for a second, then asked, “Fluttershy, what happened to Stormy Skies? Did you ever report him to the authorities?”
“Yes, with Sunset’s help. We proved he was guilty, and before we even could, he violated a restraining order and threatened me on camera. I was really scared that night, but it added a lot of time to his sentence.”
Daffodil nodded. “That’s a relief to hear. So often people in his position get away without any repercussions. And I’m glad you’re confronting these feelings. It may take some time to sort through them all, but you’re taking a big step here.”
Fluttershy took a deep breath and tried to think of what they were talking about before she got off on a tangent. Oh, right, Sunset. “It’s kind of funny, alcohol was a trigger of mine at first too. Then I moved in with Sunset, and she drank a lot. We were both underage, but she drank a lot.”
“Did she know it bothered you?”
“No. I think she would’ve stopped if she did.” Fluttershy chuckled. “And then I started drinking, because I couldn’t be mad at her for drinking if I was doing it too.”
“Well, I wouldn’t recommend that course of action with alcohol, but it’s safe to say you got over being triggered by it.”
Fluttershy laughed. “Yes, a little too over it. I know I became an alcoholic. Sunset was too, though neither of us really knew that at the time. We both got sober for a little while, when we found out… oh.”
“Oh?”
Suddenly Fluttershy’s mouth went dry as she realized what was coming. “I’ve… I’ve never told you about her…”
“About who?”
“Sky Shimmer.” Fluttershy looked down. “My daughter.”
“Your… oh God…”
Ah, she’d finally cracked through the professionalism. “Yeah. I didn’t know it, but when I moved in with Sunset I was pregnant.”
“And you decided to keep the child?”
Fluttershy sighed. “I was a stupid teenager. And I was devoutly religious at the time. We were dirt poor, we had just started dating, we were both fresh out of high school… We weren’t in a good place for a kid. I know that now. But back then, I just thought of this little life inside of me, and I couldn’t do anything to get rid of it.”
“But… something happened.”
“Yeah. Sky was five months. We had just gotten confirmation about her gender. Then there was a car accident.”
“Oh, dear…”
“You have to understand, Sky was everything to me. To us. Sunset didn’t want to keep her at first, but once I made my decision known, she dumped all our alcohol down the sink the next day so we could get sober together. From that moment on, everything, everything she did was for Sky, and everything I did was too. Sky was our daughter, and we were… we were going to be so happy together.”
Fluttershy took a steadying breath to keep from crying again. “I still think if Sky had survived, things would’ve worked out somehow. But I don’t really know. We never really built ‘us’, me and Sunset. It was always ‘us’, me, Sunset, and Sky. The three of us, there was never a two of us.”
Daffodil nodded. “You built a relationship around one thing, and then that thing wasn’t there anymore.”
“Yes.” Fluttershy ran a hand through her hair. “I don’t know. I want to believe we could have figured out our relationship if we had Sky to bind us a little longer. But I’ll never know.”
“It’s not good to dwell on things like that. Maybe it would have been different, but you have to focus on what did happen and figure out how to move on from all that pain.”
“Yeah, you’re right. So after Sky died, Sunset and I turned to drinking. We drank all the time, nonstop, and when we drank… we got angry.”
“You said Stormy Skies would yell at you. Do other people being angry cause any reaction with you?”
Fluttershy hesitated, tempted to deny it. “Yes. I get angry back. Really angry, like… just like Stormy Skies…”
“You’re not like him, Fluttershy.”
Fluttershy frowned and looked down at her hands in her lap. She hadn’t noticed, but at some point she had folded them together and was rubbing one thumb along the other. “I thought it made me strong at first. Yelling at people, getting mad at them, I thought I was so tough. I thought I’d come so far from the paralyzed little girl who couldn’t stop that disgusting man from doing things to her. I thought I was finally the one in control.”
“But you don’t think that now.”
“No.” Fluttershy bounced her leg up and down. “When I’m angry, I hurt people. I don’t hit them or anything, but I know what to say to make them hurt. I did it with Sunset, I did it with Rainbow, I do it with everyone. I know just what to say, and I don’t ever stop to think about saying it. I’m not in control, I’m just on a fucked up power kick…”
“Well, it’s more complicated than that, I think. I think you’ve lived a long time with someone in control of you, and I think when you feel like that control is being taken from you, you have to lash out to get it back. Not to mention that you weren’t ever shown how to disagree with someone when you were growing up, you learned from a young age that this is how you disagree.”
Fluttershy nodded slowly. “I guess you’re right.”
“So you fought with Sunset a lot, and drinking made it worse.”
“Yes. We broke up after I…” Fluttershy put her head in her hand. “After I threw a glass at her. Just like Stormy Skies, I tried to hurt her.”
“Did you mean to hurt her?”
“I… I don’t even remember. It all happened so fast, and I… I just don’t remember…”
Daffodil nodded. “And you’ve never done anything like that again?”
“No, never. I was so disgusted with myself that I couldn’t tell Rainbow what happened. She grew to resent Sunset because she only ever heard my side of the story. That was my fault.”
“Another thing you feel guilty about.”
“Yes. There’s so many…”
“That’s okay,” Daffodil said brightly. “We have the chance to go through all that guilt now. For right now, it’s enough to just get it all out.”
Fluttershy nodded. “Well, after that we broke up. But we couldn’t stay broken up, so we got back together a few months later. And it was good again for a while, but then…” When Daffodil didn’t say anything, Fluttershy finished, “Then we started drinking again.”
“Is it fair to say alcohol was what really ended your relationship?”
“There were other things that ended it. But… I think alcohol turned it into something that wasn’t worth saving. In the end though, it was because things picked up with Bitchette. We got invited on tour, and I had to choose between Sunset and the band. She made me have to choose.”
“I sense you’re still bitter about that.”
Fluttershy winced. She had meant to focus on her own faults where Sunset was concerned; she had focused on Sunset’s for long enough. “Yes. I’m still bitter that she made me choose. She wanted me to take what she thought was the safe choice and continue school, but I was already failing school. I needed to try being a band manager.”
“And she didn’t support you.”
“No, she didn’t.”
Daffodil drummed her fingers on the desk. “Well, if she didn’t want to have a girlfriend on tour, she had the right to make that decision for herself.”
Fluttershy frowned. “Maybe if she had just said she wanted to break up, but she kept belittling me. She kept making me feel like it was stupid to even try, and I… it reminded me of him, so I dug my heels in and I did it anyway.”
“And that was the end of you two?”
Ever so barely, Fluttershy shook her head. “No. I told her… I said I found someone else. It was a lie, I just… We couldn’t stay apart, and she was already talking about waiting for me, and I just felt like if she moved on I could move on and we could go back to being friends and everything would be better.”
“And did she move on?”
“After she moved away, yes.”
“I see.”
“She moved away, and she got her perfect fucking life, and she married two other women, and one of them looks just like I did before I got fat and chopped my hair off.”
“It must be hard to see her with someone that reminds you of yourself.”
“It is. And then she fucking showed up to our concert, with her two perfect wives in tow and –” Fluttershy winced. “And I’m getting angry again. I’m sorry.”
“It sounds like you have good reason to be angry.”
Fluttershy sighed. “If she had called ahead… I don’t know, it’s been a long time, maybe I would’ve been okay. Or maybe I wouldn’t, but dammit, that was my decision!”
“It was. She shouldn’t have taken that decision away from you.”
“But… I told her it was her fault that I tried to kill myself. I never should have said that. It wasn’t true.”
“Have you tried to reach out to her since that happened?”
Fluttershy shook her head. “No. I don’t know what I’d say. I… I should let her know I didn’t mean what I said, though.”
“Well, we’re not focusing on her right now, we’re focusing on you. Do you think it would be helpful for you to talk to her?”
“No,” Fluttershy answered quickly. “I’m… not a good person when I’m with her. I don’t think I can be.”
“Then do you have any mutual friends who could get a message to her? Just to tell her that you didn’t mean what you said, but you don’t want to talk?”
“Yes. Her best friend, Applejack. They keep in touch all the time, and I still keep in touch with AJ whenever I’m in town.”
“I think it may help your feelings of guilt to do that.”
“Maybe you’re right.” Fluttershy looked out the window. “I asked Applejack to ask her to come home for me once, not too long after she moved away. Applejack asked her, and she said no.”
“She’d already moved on,” Daffodil said gently. “It’s time for you to do the same.”
“I thought I did. I always think I’ve moved on, and then something reminds me that I haven’t.”
“There’s no sign that tells us, ‘congrats, you got over it.’ Sometimes it’ll sneak up on you. And sometimes, like with your feelings towards your mom’s passing, you’ll one day realize you have moved on.”
“I have so much to move on from…”
“You’ll get there, and I’ll help you.”
Fluttershy smiled a little. “Thank you.”
Daffodil looked at the clock. “We covered a lot today, but our time is coming to a close. How do you feel after talking about all of that?”
Fluttershy shook her head. “Exhausted.”
“That’s normal, I’m afraid. But it’ll help you to go through it all. Trust me.”
“I do. I… I think I feel a little better, actually.”
“Well, that’s great! Just remember that recovery isn’t a straight line. There will be bad days in the future, but that doesn’t mean your progress here is any lessened.”
“I know. Thank you, Daffodil.”
“My pleasure, Fluttershy. Before we wrap this up, is there anything else we should talk about?”
For what felt like the hundredth time in the past hour, Fluttershy hesitated. “Yes… But… it’s hard to say.”
“After all that? You should know you can tell me anything.”
Fluttershy frowned and wouldn’t look at Daffodil. “I’m still having suicidal thoughts.”
“I see. Do you have a plan?”
“A plan?”
“If you were going to kill yourself, do you have a plan of what you’d do?”
Fluttershy shook her head. “No. Last time I didn’t either, I just… did it.”
Daffodil nodded. “People with a plan are more likely to act on it, so that’s a good sign. What kind of things make you want to hurt yourself?”
“That’s just it, it’s all the time. I don’t think I’d ever act on it, but those thoughts never stop coming.”
“I see. I’m glad you don’t plan on acting on it. You have to realize, you’ve been depressed for a long time. I’m not saying this isn’t serious, just that it can be expected.”
“Really?”
“It’s more common than you’d think. Suicide has been an answer for years. Not the right answer, but it’s been an escape. A card you could always play if you needed to. Those thoughts often take a long time to go away. That said, how are you doing on your medication? Has it affected the suicidal thoughts at all?”
“No. They were always there, and the meds don’t make them go away.”
“And they don’t make them worse?”
“No.”
“Talk to your prescriber about it anyway. They may want to try a different med that might get rid of those thoughts altogether.”
“Okay.”
“In the meantime, I want you to promise me something.”
Fluttershy smiled a little. “I wouldn’t ever go through with it. I know how it sounds when I already tried once, but I learned my lesson.”
“Well, forever’s a long time. We make plans that last forever, and we get burnt out with them. I just want you to promise me you’ll stay alive until the next time we speak.”
“Okay. I can do that. I promise.”
“Good.” Daffodil stood up, so Fluttershy did as well. They walked to the door, and Daffodil escorted them out the way they came. “We’ll go more in detail with some of what you told me today in our next session. I’ll come up with some specific questions to help guide us, now that I know a little more about what’s going on.”
“Okay.” Fluttershy couldn’t help but smile. “I really thought if I told you everything, something bad would happen.”
“Even with what you told me, I don’t believe you’re a danger to anyone. Including yourself. You’re just someone who needs a little help, and who’s finally going to get it.”
“Thank you so much.”
“That’s what I’m here for.”
They reached the lobby, where they would part ways. Daffodil held the door open for her, and Fluttershy walked through. “See you next week, Fluttershy.”
“Bye. See you next week.”
Daffodil Breeze closed the door, and Fluttershy walked up to the checkout window. Her head was racing with all the things that they talked about, about Stormy Skies, Sunset, and suicide. They hadn’t even had time to talk about Sonata. Fluttershy made a mental note to go over that in their next session.
She smiled as it occurred to her. She was looking forward to another session. Oh sure, it had been hell to go through all that baggage, but now that she had, she felt lighter.
It was only a week ahead, but for the first time that she could remember, Fluttershy was looking forward to something other than work. Something that was going to help her, not just keep her busy.
For the first time in ages, Fluttershy was looking forward to just being alive in a week.
The clerk at the window called her, so she stepped up and presented her insurance card. While she was waiting on that to go through, she pulled out her phone and texted Applejack.
Are you busy? There’s something I’d really like to talk to you about.
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I really love the chapter! I’m so glad Shy is finally opening up now she can really start to heal. Thanks for the chapter!
5 stages of grief and Fluttershy finally enters the last one.
Shy? On the road to better days?
Krickis, are you feeling ok?
No complex analysis this time. I liked it. Though, just like Shy, I feel exhausted after going back through remembering all of that.
Anyway, good job!
Well it's about time fluttershy get all this off her chest and now maybe the healing will begin also really interested in how her talk with A.J. will go, eagerly waiting for next week to see how it goes.
Finally. Happy Fluttershy's actually opening up to her therapist. Can't believe she's mentioned none of this before. This is...all the reasons that led up to her needing help to begin with. Also happy she's going to send a message to Sunset. Because it's very good that Fluttershy realizes she's not a good person around Sunset but still wants to apologize.
And yeah, Sunset is a much better person now, but she's done a lot of bad in the past.
God, I feel that, Shy. After the first couple of times I started seeing my first therapist, I was exhausted and socially burnt out for almost a whole week. After a while I started going to café afterwards and ordering a large hot chocolate, and then just spent up to an hour just sitting there, listening to music or watching random stuff on my phone.
I usually love therapy scenes in stories (I suppose it's not exactly a mystery why), and this was no exception. Even if I could infer most if it from before, it was great to hear some of Shy's thought patterns spelled out, and some of it surprised me, like her saying she first slept with Sunset to ensure her staying around (if this was brought up during Playing House I must have forgotten, my memory can be like a siv sometimes).
I feel like 'all smiled' is a typo, but can't quite figure out what it was meant to be.
So good to see a positive change in Shy that is of her own doing. I really liked the recap from Fluttershy's current point of view, and how she now views the events a little differently or realises her mistakes in the past.
I finally read this chapter again, I didn’t get to it yesterday oops. Anyway,
This one... hits hard. It makes you remember everything that happened in Playing House, and maybe for some readers that was a while ago. For me, it wasn’t that long ago (cause I reread it recently hehe) but either way, I know that this one must have hurt for everyone. I know it hurt for me.
Shy moving forward and making progress in her recovery is great to see, and her opening up more to her therapist definitely marks a positive change. It’s important for Shy to notice her own faults, but it’s also okay for her to be upset at what happened, you know? You have to be able to recognize your own shortcomings in order to be able to get better, but also, she’s human, she can’t help but feel upset at some of the things that happened to her. I know I’d be mad about Sunset’s surprise visit, for one.
It’s interesting that she hadn’t mentioned this before, seeing as it is pretty much the reason she needs therapy to begin with. But I’m extremely glad she’s finally mentioned it. This is a great step toward recovery, and maybe it’ll never really be fully okay, but that’s alright! She will get better, and she put herself on that path.
Also dog! Yay!
Anyway, great chapter, bun. Thank you for writing, it felt real.
Yeah! Finally some good things for Fluttershy.
This was actually the chapter that I was waiting for. Of all Fluttershy's trauma, the rape/incest she went through has always been the heart of it all. Fluttershy was able to get out of her home situation, but sometimes it feels like that was where the focus on her abuse ended: getting Stormy Skies behind bars (hopefully one day into an electric chair) and Fluttershy out. Getting her treatment for what she had been through and an honest place to discuss it and find help hadn't come up until now. It is very clear what she needed most was the chance to walk on the road to recovery, and up until this chapter, human Fluttershy being able to voice her experiences has been non-existent. In a world where the familial rape that is incest is wrongly fetishized, stories like this and chapters like this should exist in place of the other kind.
Hey y'all, so first off a bulk message for everyone, sorry for not replying sooner! This week has gone some unexpected places (nothing bad) and I just got a bit distracted. I read all the comments as they came in and appreciate them all though! Now, individual replies...
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Glad you enjoyed it, and yeah, this was a long time coming for sure!
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But yeah, Shy's finally coming to terms with stuff 
I don't actually believe in the five stages of grief
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Lmao I can be nice sometimes
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I can see how this would be an exhausting chapter. I was actually afraid people would just be bored going through it all, but it seems I was wrong lol
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Glad to hear you're looking forward to it, only a few more days now and this story will end with Shy's talk with Applejack
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It kinda comes from experience. When I first went to therapy, I mostly only talked about the things my therapist would ask me. It wasn't even that I was hiding stuff (like Shy actually was) it's just the therapist would have to figure out where my issues stemmed from, which is never easy. It may seem obvious, but it took me a long time to figure out that I needed to be the one to tell my therapist what the issues were. Plus like, unlike me Shy didn't ever want therapy, she agreed to it reluctantly.
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Shy sleeping with Sunset specifically to get her to stay was a thing in Playing House, but because it worked out (in a way) it's easy to forget about that. It was intended to be an early indicator that their relationship had a bad foundation, which meant when the one thing holding them together was gone...
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And I'm glad everyone seems to enjoy this recap, I was worried about it lol
Was meant to be "all smiles", it was indeed a typo
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As always, lots of complicated feelings there. Of course, some blame is on one of them, some on the other, but for so long all that blame has been tangled up for Shy to where she puts it all on both of them, which isn't healthy for her outlook to herself or to Sunset. Finally it's untangling and she's seeing that Sunset wasn't so bad as she thought, and she now has a more manageable share of the blame for herself that she can forgive easier. Anyway, thank you for the long comment, it means a lot!
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Heck yeah!
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Well, to be fair, Twilight in Playing House tried to get Shy into therapy (even offered to look into it for her and do the legwork) but she declined it. Shy had to get to a point where she would be open to therapy, which took her years, but she finally managed
How exciting!
Huh, was expecting a smaller dog, but if it makes Fluttershy happy, that's what I care about.
Sometimes I forget how awful that man was to her!
Never thought I'd hear a therapist say that!
Imo, she should seriously consider trying it again. But this time, apologizing and becoming friends again. Even if Sunset no longer resides in Everton they still deserve to be friends.
Of course.
I've basically been waiting for this chapter the entire series. That seemingly immovable mountain of guilt is the reason for some people that you just can't rely on friends and family for help sometimes. Even if you know you're not okay, burdening people you care about with your problems is just another source of that paralyzing guilt.
I knew this entry in the series was going to be difficult, but I knew it was going to be worth it too.
I mean if anything I found it relieving, if a little bit quick-moving. Fluttershy's been carrying so much pain and burden for such a long time and to see her open up and improve and heal instead of meeting a horrible end all alone with pills and a bottle of booze or what-have-you...she needs this. And she and by extension everyone else will be much better off if she gets this much-needed healing. The recap is almost like a bookend in some way (not that things are ending right here right now). Playing House feels like such a long time ago along with all the trials and events that followed years on down the line and here it feels like it's loose ends being tied up. Plot points and remaining issues being resolved, leaving a sense of optimism for the future.
I'd forgotten about that call.
Still though, with renewed hope from what looks like continued healing for 'Shy, that's still that chance out there for them to reconnect as friends years on down the line...