2 – White Noise
Chapter Two
White Noise
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Not every night was a great performance. Sure, the audience always seemed happy, but there were off nights. Fluttershy heard the same show four or five times a week, she could tell the difference between a good night and a bad one.
And true, there was some comfort in knowing that most fans couldn’t really tell. Most of them didn’t go to a concert for a sonic masterpiece of sound, they went for an entertaining night, and that could happen even on off nights.
Even so, the mood was sour when the band walked backstage. No one said anything, no one congratulated each other on a great show. It hadn’t been awful. There were no major equipment malfunctions, the crowd didn’t throw things at them, nothing nearly so drastic.
But it wasn’t what their fans deserved, and they all knew it.
Rainbow sunk into a chair, so Fluttershy passed her a bottle of water. Wordlessly, she opened it and chugged it down. Fluttershy passed out waters to the rest of the band, some of whom mumbled a thank you, some of whom just fumed silently.
Eventually, as it usually was, Rainbow broke the silence. “Well, that sucked.”
“Yeah…” Lemon Zest said. “I lost time on the first song and it really threw me off all night.”
“I overshot my solo,” Windfall offered.
“I kicked ass,” Gilda said with a shrug. “But not as much as usual.”
Fluttershy smiled, even if she didn’t really feel like it. “It was an off night. Tomorrow will be better.”
“Wait, tomorrow?” Lemon Zest’s head snapped towards Fluttershy. “I thought we had the night off tomorrow?”
“Nope, that’s the next night,” Windfall reminded her.
“Urgh!” Lemon Zest buried her head in her hands.
“And… we have a radio spot,” Fluttershy said. “Tomorrow before the show, a half-hour interview and an acoustic performance.”
“So we have to get there extra early…” Lemon Zest groaned.
“Can’t we just do it over the phone?” Rainbow asked.
“A performance over the phone?” Fluttershy said with slight irritation creeping into her voice. “Come on, Dash, they deserve better than that.”
“Fine by me,” Windfall said. “I wasn’t really in the mood to hang around late tonight anyway.”
“VIPs coming in,” the bassist of the support band told them. They all nodded and picked themselves up. The least they could do was be on their best behavior for the fans that cared enough to buy backstage passes.
People filed in, and the band wound up getting pulled in different directions. Fluttershy wished they had alcohol. She didn’t want to get drunk, but she was in a bad mood and wanted something to take the edge off it. Otherwise, the night felt like white noise; just a static of annoyance that grated on Fluttershy and made her want to just tune everything out.
Well, there were other options besides alcohol. Fluttershy saw a girl with a bottle of beer that she must have brought from the front. She had a fade haircut and masculine clothes that gave Fluttershy a pretty good guess she might be interested in girls. She walked over and said, “Hi there. Did you enjoy the show?”
The other girl gave her a big smile. “Hey! Yeah, it kicked ass!”
Fluttershy smiled back. “That’s great.” She pointed out the beer bottle. “Lucky, I’ve been stuck back here all night with nothing but water to drink.”
“Oh, what? Last time I was backstage they had an open bar.”
“Yeah, we had some issues.”
The girl held out the bottle. “Here, take it.”
Fluttershy smiled and accepted it, then took a swig. It was only one beer, and not even a whole bottle. That hardly counted on the no alcohol backstage rule. “Thank you.”
When she tried to hand the bottle back, the other girl held out her hand in refusal. “Hey, I had a few already. That one’s all yours.”
“You’re too nice.” Fluttershy took a sip and leaned back. “To tell you the truth, it wasn’t a great show. I shouldn’t say that, but they made a few mistakes.”
“I guess you’d know, huh?”
It occurred to Fluttershy that she hadn’t introduced herself, and yet this girl knew who she was. Ever since the Coda album came out, that happened once in a while. Not often, but here and there.
That was a nice surprise for the night. It wasn’t often she had her own fans, after all. “Yeah, well, you notice things night after night. I wish you could’ve seen them on a better night.”
“I don’t mind, this has pretty much made my night right here.”
Fluttershy couldn’t help but grin. She really wasn’t used to having her own fans. “This might be a little forward of me, but are you doing anything after this?”
“Nah, I’m wide open. I called out of work tomorrow and everything. I wanted to, you know, be ready for whatever happened tonight.”
Oh, so she had come here planning on hooking up. That made things even simpler. “That’s good to know. Wish I could call out tomorrow.”
“On to the next town, ey?”
“Yeah. Early departure too.”
“Oh, lame. Well hey, we’ll just have to make the most of tonight then.” She looked around and then grinned sheepishly. “You wanna maybe just head out, since you have to be off early and all?”
It was like this woman was tailor-made for this evening. “I’d like that a lot. Do you have a car? I can pay for a cab if not.”
“Yeah, I have a car, no worries.”
The two them started walking, then Fluttershy grabbed her by the shoulder. “Not that way, we can leave through the back so we don’t have to wade through the crowd.”
“Oh, cool. Private exit, huh?”
Fluttershy giggled. “Yeah.”
It was good that they had another way out, there seemed to be a crowd forming near the front. Fluttershy idly wondered why, but she figured it was probably just where Rainbow was. Wherever she went, the crowd followed.
“So, hey, I hope this doesn’t sound weird or anything, but I’m really glad I ran into you.”
Fluttershy smiled and began wondering if she should ask for a name. “Me too.”
“I, uh, I still think about you a lot, actually.”
That was a weird thing to say. Fluttershy stopped walking and turned to face her, no longer sure she should get in a car with this woman. “Really?”
“Yeah, I mean…” She stopped as well and blushed a little. “Not like, in a weird way, you know? Just like oh hey, wonder how Fluttershy’s doing.”
That was pretty weird. Fluttershy decided whatever happened, she was not getting in a car with someone who was starting to sound like a stalker. “Oh. Well, I’m flattered.”
“That was the wrong thing to say, wasn’t it? I’m sorry, I just…” She turned away and shoved her hands in her pockets. “Please don’t think I’m a weirdo, I really just meant, you know, last time was really cool.”
Fluttershy scrunched up her face. “Last time?”
The other woman stared at Fluttershy for a moment. “You, er, you don’t remember me, huh?”
Fluttershy blinked, trying to remember if she had seen this woman somewhere before. “I, uhm, no, I don’t. Have we met before?”
“Yeah, last year, Bitchette came through and I met you at the bar. You got me backstage, and then we went back to the hotel and slept together.”
Fluttershy didn’t usually drink out at the bar, but if she was, she’d probably been pretty drunk by the time she even met this woman. She couldn’t find any words to say, so she said nothing.
“It… it was my first time. And then when I told you that afterwards, you got all worried that you’d done something wrong, and we wound up staying up all night talking.”
Fluttershy facepalmed. “We went down to the pool. It was closed, but we hopped the fence.”
“Yeah.” Being remembered didn’t really seem to lift her spirits. “I guess for you it was just another night, huh?”
“No, it was a really nice night. I do remember that, I just…”
“Didn’t remember me.” She smiled at Fluttershy. “Hey, no, I get it. I mean, I really should’ve known. I asked if we could keep in touch, and I gave you my number, but you never called. I mean, I guess I knew, you know? I just wanted to think, like, you were busy. And then when you came up and said hi, I thought, you know, it was because you remembered me.”
“I was busy. I’m so sorry for not recognizing you, but let me make it up to you.”
“I… I think I’m just gonna go, actually.” The other woman gave her an authentic smile. “It was nice seeing you again, really. Take care of yourself, and uh, good luck finding someone to spend the night with.”
“Wait, please…” Fluttershy felt like such an idiot. She couldn’t even ask her to wait by name.
The other woman just waved and disappeared into the crowd, leaving Fluttershy alone. She felt like shit. That night had clearly meant something to the mystery woman, and it had meant something to Fluttershy too.
No, not really. It had been a great night, one she could look back on fondly as one of the best of the tour. But the woman she spent it with? That could’ve been anyone. It was just like she’d said – Fluttershy remembered the night, but not the girl.
It took a moment for Fluttershy to realize she was still holding the beer bottle. She drank what little bit was left and threw it away. The crowd still hadn’t died down, and all their chatter was feeling even more like static to her ears. She should just go.
But then she realized the crowd really hadn’t died down, so she walked over to see what was going on. As expected, Rainbow was over there, as were Lemon Zest and Gilda.
But seeing who they were struck Fluttershy harder than anything else that night possibly could.
“Sunny?”
Standing before her was Sunset Shimmer. And not just Sunset, but Twilight and the other Fluttershy too. If there was anything Fluttershy didn’t want to see this night, it was these three.
“Shy…” Sunset blinked and closed her mouth. She scratched at the back of her head as she stared at Fluttershy. “So, uh… long time no see?”
“What…” Fluttershy shook her head, her disbelief working its way into her voice. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
Sunset swallowed. “I came to see you. I… I wanted to say I’m sorry.” She glanced towards Rainbow. “Is it okay if… can we talk?”
Fluttershy frowned. She didn’t want to talk to Sunset. She wanted to have security throw her out right then and there. What right did she have to come back like this? And to make matters worse, she’d brought her along. The other Fluttershy, the perfect one. She looked so pretty with her perfect, unmarked skin and her long flowing pink hair, dressed in soft fabrics like what Fluttershy herself used to wear.
She was everything that Fluttershy could never live up to, and she was right in front of her. Well, if they were going to talk, they weren’t going to do it in front of her.
“Come on. The dressing room is over here, the two of us can talk there.”
Although it was exactly what Sunset had asked for, she still had the audacity to stop and look at the others for support. Of course she found it, because Sunset’s fucking wives were nothing short of perfect.
“Go on, we’ll be fine,” Twilight said.
“This is what we were hoping for,” the other bitch said. “Go talk to her.”
Fluttershy didn’t see what came next. Hearing her voice set her on edge and made her want to scream. At Sunset, at the other Fluttershy, at Rainbow for not getting rid of them sooner, at herself for everything she’d done wrong, Fluttershy just wanted to scream.
Instead, she walked calmly to the dressing room, trusting that Sunset could make it there on her own.
Then it was just the two of them. Fluttershy and the person who she had once wanted to give everything she had for, alone for the first time in years. She gritted her teeth as she turned to face her. “Okay, so what the hell do you want?”
Sunset didn’t seem too taken aback by the tone in her voice. “Like I said, I wanted to say I’m sorry. I… wasn’t always fair to you when we were together.”
“You think? You tried to get me to give up on the one thing I managed to do all by myself!”
“I know.” Sunset held up her hands. “And I was wrong, and I’m glad you stuck with it.”
Oh, right, because that’s what Fluttershy was missing in her life, Sunset Shimmer’s validation. “Of fucking course you’re glad!” Fluttershy threw out her hands. “You got to go off to a magical land where you’re rich and famous and have two supportive wives. Your life turned out fucking perfect once I wasn’t in it anymore!”
“Whoa, hold on.” Sunset shook her head. “It’s not like that! And things aren’t perfect for us. Yeah I know we’re lucky in a lot of ways, but it’s not like it’s been easy.”
“Oh really?” Fluttershy took a step forward and raised her voice some more. “Tell me, Sunny. Tell me all about how difficult it’s been for you, because you wouldn’t fucking believe what my life has turned into since you left me!”
Sunset’s face muscles tightened. “Okay, I was wrong about a lot of things, but you left first. I offered to stick around and wait for you, and you told me not to because you were already seeing someone.”
As if Fluttershy had ever once forgotten that mistake. “I lied, okay!?” She turned and took a step away. “I lied about seeing someone because I wanted you to move on. So yeah, I got exactly what I fucking wanted. Yay me.”
“How was I supposed to know that!? I’m so sorry for believing you!”
“Do you know what my life has been like since you left?” Fluttershy spun back around and pointed at her hair. “Because this? This is nothing compared to the other ways I’ve changed without you.”
Sunset folded her arms. “I’m listening.”
Where to fucking start? “I sleep with a different girl pretty much every night because if I don’t, I don’t sleep at all. I’m up for days at a time, I drink nonstop, the only thing stopping me from trying to kill myself again is the pills I have to take every god damn day!”
Sunset stared at her for a moment, then finally said, “Again?”
Fluttershy hadn’t meant to let that slip, but now that it had, she just laughed. “Yeah, that’s right, Sunny! I tried to kill myself because that’s how much my life just fucking sucks! And half the time even with the antidepressants, I still think back on that day and wish I hadn’t thrown up those damn pills.”
“And it’s all my fault?” Sunset asked.
Fluttershy shook her head “I don’t know, but you sure as hell aren’t making it better by showing up unannounced like this! For fuck’s sake, Sunset, what did you expect? I’d just fall into your arms and you could have two of me?”
“No! I just wanted to try things over again. Not us, not like being together, just you know, as friends this time. Because I still love –”
They both stood in silence for a moment as Sunset’s words washed between them.
“You still love me?” Fluttershy asked doubtfully.
“Well… yes,” Sunset said reluctantly. “Look, it’s not like, you know, a burning love like when I thought we’d spend our lives together. But yes, I still love you. I probably always will.”
It was too much. It was just too fucking much. Sunset showed up unannounced, dragging a perfect version of Fluttershy along to flaunt in her face, and now she wanted to say she still loved her?
“I hate you, Sunset.” Fluttershy folded her arms. “You were once the best thing that ever happened to me, and now the rest of my life has to struggle to live up to that without you. I hate you so much.”
“Shy, it doesn’t have to be like that. I want us to be friends again, I want to be part of your life again.”
Sunset reached out for Fluttershy’s shoulder, but Fluttershy slapped her hand away. “Did you fucking hear me? I said I hate you! I don’t want you back in my life, Sunny, I never want to see your stupid face again! If you really love me, you’ll stay in Equestria. Far far away from me.”
“Shy…”
Fluttershy stamped her foot. “Don’t fucking ‘Shy’ me! I’m not yours anymore, and I don’t have to put up with what you want! Just go back to your perfect little pony life. You’ve already got a better version of me waiting out there to cheer you up from the bitch I am in this world anyway.”
“It’s not like –”
“Just go!”
Sunset stood and stared for a minute, then she turned and ran. Fluttershy watched her go, and then she screamed.
She grabbed at her short hair, grabbing fist fulls of it and pulling tightly. It was at least long enough for that.
Before she even knew someone was in the room with her, she had a pair of arms around her. She looked to see Lemon Zest was hugging her, while Rainbow, Gilda, and Windfall all waited off to the side.
Fluttershy sighed. “I’m okay, Zesty.”
Lemon Zest let go, but she looked at her uncertainly. Gilda was the first to speak, however. “So that was the bitch, huh?”
“Yeah,” Fluttershy said since no one else answered. “That was Sunset.”
“You okay?” Rainbow asked.
Fluttershy sunk into a chair. “What fucking right does she have…?”
“She’s gone now,” Windfall said. “She left with those other two women, the ones that look like you and Twilight.”
Fluttershy nodded.
“So, uh, what do we wanna do now?” Lemon Zest asked.
“I don’t know…” Fluttershy stood up. “I’m going back to the hotel.”
“I’ll come with you,” Rainbow said.
“Me too,” Lemon Zest added.
Windfall nodded. “We can all go.”
“No, we can’t.” Fluttershy frowned. “Those fans paid money to spend time with you all. I’m a grown woman, and I can take care of myself.”
Gilda folded her arms. “Yeah, that’s great and all, but it’s bullshit. If you go back on your own, you’re gonna get piss drunk.”
“I will not!” Fluttershy said, even though she probably would.
“You’re right that we can’t all leave, though,” Rainbow said. “I’ll go, everyone else should stay here.”
“Dash, you’re the one they want to see the most,” Windfall pointed out.
“Look, I’m going with Shy,” Gilda said. “There’s too much weird shit going on tonight, and I’m done with it. I’d want to go to the hotel even if Shy wasn’t going, so it might as well be me who dips.”
“Yeah, alright.” Lemon Zest gave Fluttershy an uncertain look. “But hey, we won’t be far behind, alright?”
“Yeah, okay,” Fluttershy said. “I’ll see you all at the hotel.”
Even though she wasn’t leaving with them, Rainbow still escorted them to the door. When they reached it, she put her hands on Fluttershy’s shoulders. “Hey, so… This doesn’t have to be a big deal, you know? She’s only got as much power over you as you let her have.”
“I know, Dashie. I’m really okay, just… a little out of it. I just need to sleep it off.”
“Yeah, okay.” Rainbow pulled Fluttershy into a hug, then smiled as they pulled apart. “See you later then.”
“Yeah, and Dash? Try and enjoy the night.”
Rainbow flashed her a grin as she waved her off, then Fluttershy and Gilda left the building. Gilda put her phone in her pocket and told Fluttershy that she’d already ordered them a cab, so they made their way to the parking lot to wait for it.
Being with Gilda was both good and bad. She wouldn’t crowd Fluttershy with meaningless comments about how things were going to be okay, but on that note, she wasn’t exactly talkative in general.
And so they waited for the cab in silence, Fluttershy passing the time with her phone. She posted on the band’s social media, thanking fans for coming out to the show and reminding people about the radio show that would be coming the next day.
Thankfully, being downtown meant it didn’t take long for their ride to get there. They climbed into the back of the car, greeted their driver, and they were off.
All along the way back to the hotel, Fluttershy noticed that Gilda was stealing glances at her. She didn’t say anything though, so neither did Fluttershy. She did get the feeling that a conversation was coming, but that it would wait until they weren’t in a car with another person.
Since the driver also wasn’t talkative, they passed the entire drive in silence. They thanked him when they reached the hotel, then made their way inside.
It was in the elevator that Gilda finally spoke. “So that was fucking weird.”
Fluttershy couldn’t help but smile. She was glad that it was Gilda she was with after all. She was the only one who would be more concerned about their visitors being Equestrian than Sunset being Fluttershy’s ex. “Imagine how I felt.”
“Yeah… So like… there’s two of everyone?”
The elevator door opened and they walked down the hallway. Fluttershy went straight for her room, and Gilda followed. “Yeah, that’s the idea. What, you suddenly believe us?”
“Well I mean, shit, what am I supposed to think?” Gilda followed Fluttershy into the room, closing the door behind them. “Everyone talks about it, Limestone’s sister’s fucking been there, and now there’s god damn two of you! And don’t think I didn’t notice that suddenly Twilight’s half a foot taller.”
Fluttershy shook her head. “I don’t know why Princess Twilight’s taller.”
“Princess Twilight?”
“Oh, yeah, she’s a princess. And they’re all married, so all three of them are princesses now.”
Gilda started looking through Fluttershy’s fridge and helped herself to a can of soda. She gave one to Fluttershy as well. “Jesus. So like… they’re like magic horses from another world and they’re fucking princesses? Weird shit, man…”
Fluttershy opened the soda and took a sip. “Yeah, it is. But when you and your friends use friendship magic to stop an evil demon from terrorizing your school, everything kinda becomes relevant.”
“You’re fucking with me.”
“No. Rainbow was part of it too. It’s… a long story. You want to know about it?”
“Honestly? No, I really don’t. Maybe someday I’ll have you tell me about it, but right now it’s enough to try and just wrap my head around this whole other world thing.”
Fluttershy nodded. “It’s a lot to take in.”
“So you and Rainbow never went though?”
“No. I was going to go with Sunset, but I was pregnant at the time and we didn’t know what it would do to Sky.” Fluttershy frowned and looked at the ground. She had learned to talk about Sky ever since her suicide attempt, but it was still hard.
“Yeah, makes sense.”
Fluttershy took a deep breath. “And then it just… didn’t seem as pressing. I don’t actually remember the next few months all that well. I got really messed up.”
“You don’t say.”
“Worse than I am now.”
“I didn’t say nothing.”
Fluttershy smiled. She finished her soda and threw out the can. “Guess I’ll never get to go now though.”
“You know, for someone who doesn’t like to talk about shit, you’re talking an awful lot.”
Fluttershy bowed her head. “Oh, sorry.”
“I mean, it’s good, right? You should talk about shit. I’m just saying, you know, say what’s on your mind.”
Although she hadn’t been intentionally dancing around the subject, it was clear that she’d been doing it without meaning to. Fluttershy frowned. “Why the fuck would she just show up like that?”
“Because she’s a moron.”
“No, she’s really smart.”
“Yeah, smart people are almost always morons. Look, I don’t know everything that happened between you two, but she clearly wanted to make up for it. She didn’t show up tonight to start shit, which means she’s just a god damn idiot.”
Fluttershy sighed. “Yeah. Yeah, she really is. A well meaning idiot…”
“Yeah, maybe.”
“And I just bitched her out. The first time we’ve seen each other in years, and I just told her to get lost.”
Gilda shrugged. “Yeah, well, sometimes it doesn’t matter if someone has good intentions. What she did was shitty. Honestly, I would’ve decked her.”
“Gilda, she’s a foot taller than me.”
“So? She’d never hit you back.”
“No. No, she wouldn’t.” Fluttershy leaned back in her chair. “I threw a glass at her once. I don’t even remember why. But I wanted to hurt her, and she… she’d never do that to me…”
“You know, I’m just gonna say it, you need to talk to your therapist about this shit. Like I’m here for you, you want me to go fuck her up, I’ll do it. But you wanna sort this shit with your head out? I’m not the one to go to for that.”
“Yeah, I know. I don’t mean to put anything on you.”
Gilda finished her soda and threw it out, the can clinking against Fluttershy’s. “It’s fine. I just don’t know what to say.”
“I wouldn’t either.”
Gilda stood up and walked over to the bed. She sat down and turned on the TV, flipping through channels until she stopped on a movie. It was an old sci-fi horror movie. Not really Fluttershy’s kind of movie, but she didn’t mind. She had seen it before, so she knew it wouldn’t scare her too much. Sunset had owned it, back when they didn’t have cable and only had DVDs to watch.
She kicked off her shoes and lay down on the bed next to Gilda, focusing on the movie. A wormlike alien was tunneling out of a man’s chest with blood splattering everywhere. She remembered the first time she had seen it, she had jumped right into Sunset’s arms.
“If you try to cuddle me, I swear I’ll kick you out of this bed,” Gilda deadpanned.
Fluttershy smirked. “Limestone is so lucky to have such a doting girlfriend.”
“Fuck off.”
There were a lot of thoughts running through Fluttershy’s head. She wasn’t sure if she had done the right thing with Sunset. She still couldn’t believe she had actually talked to Sunset again at all. Not to mention seeing her double again, who was Sunset’s wife now.
Too many thoughts, too much noise in her head. All of it demanding her attention. So Fluttershy did the only thing she could think to do: She didn’t think about any of them. She would let the world around her be the white noise to drown out the sounds she couldn’t deal with. For now, she was watching a gory space movie with a friend, and that was all.
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Wow.. This is exactly what was needed after the chapter in Open Road. The other side of the argument. I sympathize with Shy so much here. Also, everyone needs a Gilda. Lastly, I wasn't expecting to see a callback to the hook up but my heart dropped the second I figured out where that scene was going and when I figured out that the scene with Sunset was coming up so overall, great job with the gut punches. Keep it up!
10679215
That's what I'm hoping. Seeing things from Shy's perspective might make readers realize how horrible it was for Sunset to just drop in unannounced. And yeah, I love Gilda in these fics, she's a favorite for sure.
10679237
Honestly I have no patience to explain why Sunset is wrong here, if you can't see it then fuck off at this point. I frankly don't care if you've enjoyed my other stories because, as you say, you never comment. Someone who only comments to shit on the characters is not someone I need reading my stories. I can't stop you from reading further, though I wish I could, but I can block you because I don't need your negativity in my life. Bye.
Edit since the original comment was deleted (not by me), this was in response to a comment that was wholly negative towards Fluttershy, showing a toxic attitude towards people with PTSD/depression. I don't mind when people respectfully disagree with my characters or how I write them, the issue was the way in which the commenter went about it, and the fact that their only comments have been entirely negative.
Even though I knew what exactly was going to happen it still hurt.
Honestly, as smart as Sunset is, she’s still so fucking stupid sometimes haha. Why did she think it was a good idea to show up to the after-show meeting with Twilight and pony Shy without as much as giving Shy a warning??? What did she think was going to happen??? Honestly, Shy was very much justified in her outburst here in my opinion because if it was me, it would have gone a lot worse. Holy fuck. Anyway, this is like the PERFECT addition to The Open Road because it gives you the other side of the coin. Like obviously, we see Sunset’s rationale for her unexpected drop in that story, and it almost makes sense. But it was still incredibly stupid of her LMAO. Ugh, poor Shy. I feel bad for her :(. But yes, yet another great addition, Kricks. Don’t let the haters get you down, you know I’d fight tooth and nail for you.
Seeing things from Sunset's perspective it almost made sense, but seeing it from Fluttershy's point of view... this was the ice skates scenario from Breaking the Ice all over again. Sunset is really good at well-intentioned fuck-ups.
10679283
I'm glad this companion to The Open Road is going over well with most readers at least.
Yeah, Sunset is often a well meaning dumbass
10679352
She does tend to take everything on by herself without so much at consulting other people. I didn't directly mean to make this similar to the ice skates but yeah you're right that it is pretty similar.
Oof. I feel you, Shy. That desire to just... lash out when you're hurt and vulnerable. And while Sunset probably didn't deserve all of that, she sure as hell made herself an easy target for it. Still don't get how she thought showing up out of the blue would do anything but what happened, but I suppose she doesn't know what we know of what Shy's been through since they split, and might have assumed (hoped?) that Shy's life had gotten back on track, just like her own has. Ironic that Sunset is the optimist nowadays.
Also, I really hope that those two will be able to have a friendly conversation at some point. Just, you know, not until they're both ready.
And yes, Gilda is right! This is definitely something you shouls talk about with your psych. Bouncing around these kinds of brain ghosts in your head isn't very healthy.
10679490
Yeah, she definitely went overboard on Sunset, but Sunset really did fuck up on this one. I think Sunset mostly heard good things from Applejack about Fluttershy, who wanted to paint her friend in a positive light, and that made her think things would go differently. To that end, Applejack probably doesn't know everything going on with Shy either...
All I'll say is that these two do meet again. How that conversation goes is another matter entirely... And a healthy outlook on therapy? In my story??? What is this witchcraft...
Well that was a interesting wrap up to the end of the open road ,not sure how to feel about but at least she knows now sunsets intentions were well meaning, really stupid of course, but well meaning and it was great Gilda could be there to help out.
Plus they're totally watching alien.
Can't wait to read more.
sunset REALLY seems to be good at the whole "i'm gonna resolve this lasting issue" thing /s
good chapter as always, love gilda's quip about smart people being morons... and just gilda in these in general, actually.
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Hehe yes, Alien is one of my favorite movies and I enjoyed sneaking it in there
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Gilda's a treat, I love her. My older brother was a hardcore punk guy, but he was also respectful and caring, and I think he's the biggest influence on Gilda.
I've said my piece on Sunset and The Open Road by now. What I will add, though, is that everyone deserves a Gilda in their life. Someone who's there to listen when you want them to, and also good for a friendly reminder to talk to your therapist, jesus fuck, 'Shy. Gilda was right on the money here: Sunset was a well-intentioned idiot. She didn't have any ill will, but I'm not sure why no one told her that was a stupid idea. Her wives don't know the full story, but AJ?
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Shy and AJ will actually have a talk about that before too long. And yes, we all absolutely need a Gilda lol
I still feel Shy was in the wrong. This perspective at least tell us she knows she wasn't in the right. Sunset's visit wasn't a good idea that's for sure but Shy should have handled it better.
(And don't get me started on RD...)
Wow, just wow. I had to stop and reread that a few times. She just called Fluttershy a bitch (in her mind not out loud, but still) I'm not sure if anyone but Fluttershy could get away with thinking that of Fluttershy.
Makes you realise how changed she is.
The misdirects were nice, how at the start of the chapter you think: oh no the band members were not playing well, this will be the drama.
Then the 'strange' fan.
Then the fan that is technically not really a stranger but kinda still is.
Then Sunset. Oh Sunset.
You know, I think that calling ahead would have not just helped Fluttershy but Sunset as well.
Like, assume that there would still be a meeting after Fluttershy heard Sunset's voice again. Sunset is great at reading people, even just from hearing a voice. She could have figured out a bit of what was going on in Shy's head and at least come to realise that a reunion would not be 100 percent welcome, that Shy was no where near happy in life. And planned accordingly. Maybe not get as distracted as she seemed to be at seeing Shy again and could have been better with words and getting her point across.
But even was her point? The meeting would still be surely just for Sunset's benifit, realistically what would Fluttershy gain from a reunion? Still it would be difficult for it to go down worse than it did. The difference might have only been that Shy would be more composed, and not shout and let slip about the suicide attempt. I honestly don't think Sunset for all her smarts (and dumbs) has a single way of helping human Fluttershy right now.
Oh, but Gilda was great, as ever, in this!
(Kinda scary how disconnected Shy can be, when she just automatically went back to being the the band's manager and posting on social media about the band just minutes after meeting Sunset. But that's her way of coping, just work to forget about her issues.)
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Short of refusing to talk to Sunset, what could Shy have done differently while staying in character? When considering all that is, and has been going on in human Shy's life (there is allot that has happened to her, I would list it all but I'd just end up feeling dumb at the stuff I'd miss out of the list).
I like Sunset, and I don't want people to shout at her, but when she is being this dumb (as gilda pointed out) how else will she learn.
Don't get me wrong, I would love for Shy to be in a place where she could calmly tell Sunset how she made a mistake in forcing the meeting apon her. Then tell her how she has dealt with her issues since Sunset left. But right now Fluttershy has allot of issues and she is not dealing with them well.
Maybe if Fluttershy was progressing better with her theropy she could have dealt with it better. So I get where you are coming from if you meant that Shy should be more open to her theropist then she would be able to talk to Sunset from a healthier place. But becoming more open with the theropist would be massive progress. And until she does, expecting Shy to handle her demons in a more reasonable manner seems like a tall order.
(sorry for long reply, got carried away with how much I like the series)
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No worries for the long answer I get it.
My issue comes from both having made terrible choices but only one of them actually growing from them. I'm not saying they're bad character or badly written, just that they're bad human beings/pony. (Or at least very flawed)
Fluttershy has only gotten worse since Sky died and hasn't shown any sign of improvement or willing to improve. It doesn't mean I don't get it, I've been depressed and still am, I know what it's like but I also happens to know that you can't be helped if you don't want to be helped and Fluttershy so far hasn't realised that and it doesn't make her a likeable character in my opinion.
As for Sunset, meeting Shy unannounced was the absolute dumbest thing she could have done and I'm just disappointed in pony-shy and in Twilight for not pointing out how dumb of an idea it was.
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Hmmm
I think where we differ on this, is on seeing Shy's potential to change and grow. Maybe as well, the interest of the specific part of journey Shy is on.
While you seem to want Shy to have grown already, I want to see how Shy will grow, one step at a time. And come around to the idea that she really needs to grown even more than she has. I think this story is the struggle to accept that Shy is not going to be okay with just bearly coping with the past as she has leant to (with heavy focus on work as well as depending on alcohol and sex for peace in her mind)
She is not Sunset. And Sunset is only where she is because of a princess of friendship and a pony bearer of the element of kindness in a world she was able to return to without much issue.
So, Sunset had unique help with her growth but Fluttershy just picked up bad habits. These habits make it harder for her to move past what has happened. So progress is there but it's just slower and different. I'm still interested in Shy and while she has a way to go I don't see her as staying in place. Just struggling to get out of her damaging way of coping that she has found for herself.
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I guess that's fair. It doesn't heal my disappointment in her as a human being still. I don't doubt that she will grow one day but I don't see how she can when everyone around her keep encouraging her to keep her bad mentality.
Like, the band let Fluttershy drink and fuck her feelings away (and still does a bit) and didn't do anything until it's too late. Rainbow especially kept reaffirming that Fluttershy can't do anything wrong and keep putting her on a pedestal where everyone else is wrong and she's always right.
Thanks for the chapter!
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For once I don't feel like RD did anything wrong at all in this chapter. She only tried to prevent exactly what happened lol. But anyway, while in general I take Shy's side in this particular situation (yes she went too far, but she was triggered by Sunset's sudden appearance), I appreciate that you can at least disagree with the character respectfully, unlike many of the commenters who disagree with Shy
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Sunset thought it would benefit both of them to bury the hatchet, and in better circumstances, I think she'd be right. Looking only at her intentions, she was good here, but her actions...
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Thank you for reading!
Well, I guess it’s good to see Shy had reason to be extra on edge and emotional for that encounter.
Hopefully she reaches out to AJ or Pinkie and gets them to help convince her therapist she hasn’t gone full blown coo-coo if she starts talking about magical portals and people turning into pretty purple pony princesses and stuff.
I figured seeing things from Shy’s view on this moment would open up some things and looks like I was right. Ol Sunny idea of getting some closure was sound but still not all thought out by not calling ahead and counting on how different Shy is over the years(which granted that part she couldn’t know) and the whole tuning things out with white noise can be useful but do be careful on what you tune out. Never know if it might be important or can be heard differently
Also still hoping that Gilda one day knows her double is a griffon
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I'm glad you found it enlightening to what was going on in Shy's mind. I have a lot of issues regarding the way that people have responded to Shy in this series, and seeing people that get where she's been coming from is always great.
Seems like the hype for Bitchette is going down.
I had a feeling this was coming.
Of course that was her reaction.
I'm getting scared by this Fluttershy now!
Probably because she's an alicorn in Equestria.
Which was just wrong!
Imo, what you did was awful Fluttershy.
Yeah, as I said in the open road, that went about how I expected it to. Neither of them have really changed, Sunset's as thoughtless as she ever was, and Fluttershy's in an even worse place than she was the last time they communicated. As Gilda said, sometimes the smartest people you'll ever meet can also be the dumbest. Fluttershy still can't be honest with anyone, herself especially, and Sunset still can't put herself in someone else's shoes. Honestly, what does it take? A suicide attempt wasn't enough of a reality check for Fluttershy? Dash knows she still drinks and does the groupie dance every night she can manage it, and she just lets her slide back into those behaviors. What's she supposed to do, though? The last time the band actively tried to help her, Fluttershy tried to kill herself. Does Fluttershy even think about how much they might blame themselves for that?
At the end of the day, Fluttershy's story has always felt like a suicide in slow motion, and watching everyone around her fail her as deeply as she fails herself is the hardest part.
Well, damn. So Fluttershy was already primed up in a bad way when Sunset came to talk to her.
Must have already been quite the shock to her, after all of her unattached flings, to against the perceived odds re-encounter one that she'd already been with and feel the pain of separation from something that wasn't supposed to be there. Then right after that Sunset showing up out of the blue at quite possibly the worst possible time. Yeah, there was no way that was going to go well.
I already said my statement on this in The Open Road and I pretty much stand by it, with maybe some changes. Sunset for her part, no matter how well-intentioned to fix things up between her and 'Shy, still lost her cool and fucked things up in the execution. With new perspective on the other side of this, it seems likely that 'Shy wasn't going to listen anyways in her state. She also seems to bear some regets about how that interaction went, or at least spent some time reevaluating it and why Sunset would show up. So maybe I was wrong about it being the last chance for them to patch things up...but if any remains it won't happen for a long, long time.
Let's see how much the two change a few years on down the line after Sunset's had her big life changes raising Morning Glisten and slowly mending things with her parents.
Small steps, 'Shy.
Also, points to Gilda for being supportive in her own Gilda way.
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I really like this fic, and I think it's an important one for Shy in so many ways. I hope you enjoy it!
We'll get to a very clear view of why Shy did what she did and how she feels about it after the fact soon