Sunset Shimmer having left Equestria in search of her destiny begins a journey that will shake the universe.
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That got a bit dark. This chapter should come with a Self Harm tag. I wouldn't say to put it at the story's title, but as a warning at the beginning of the chapter.
10532665
Okay.
10532665
Fixed it but I also put the tag in the story because it may continue to happen.
That cutting scene didn't get enough time. Scenes of self-harm are all about the mentality of the character. You made it sound almost clinical. More than that, in this kind of story that's all about heavily summarized, rapid-fire scenes, I doubt you'd be able to make it work without disrupting the tempo.
10532733
You know what, I will rework this chapter tomorrow.
nice work
hmmm... that also means the invasion will likely happen. curious...
10533697
Remember Sunset what was the leader of the Inquisition designed to face... well you know.
10533764
What?! Was that WH40K??!! What the Heck!?
10534247
Reread Chapter 39.
10532742
I see you definitely fleshed that scene out. The idea that she was smiling at her self-inflicted wounds threw me for a bit, but I guess maybe she's just finding some solace in the fact that even though she's become this 'perfect' existence she can still bleed. After all, 'if it bleeds, it can die'. So perhaps there's some comfort to be had in that thought because it means she's still imperfect in some ways
10537385
It DOESN'T Change the fact that the scene is still "F*** Up!!!!
Why CAN'T Vegeta, Goku, Miss, Bulma, DBZ/Super Versions of the Main Six, and the rest of the Z Fighters Help her or something.
Plus, even if she bleeds, she did at least have a God Like Healing/Regeneration Powers that probably Surpass Piccolo's and Namekians, Cell/, Maijn Buu/Super Buu/Kid Buu, Android 21, and even Immortality like Zamasu.