44: Self Reflection
Chrysalis kept her back to Twilight, letting her words ring through the hollow chamber. Even the water fell still, showing a perfect image of the changeling queen.
“You mean it?” Twilight asked, her trembling form sending ripples through the glassy water.
“I do.” Chrysalis closed her eyes. “Maybe it is a mistake. But it’s a mistake I’m willing to make. Even one I’m all too happy to make. I’m sorry for causing so much trouble—”
A trio of splashing steps gave her only the briefest hint of the inevitable. She braced herself, trying to warn Twilight, but was interrupted by the full force of the alicorn tackling her into the bath in a sort of aggressive embrace.
“Ow. Ow. Ow. Twilight, knock it off.”
“I was really worried that you were actually going to leave. I was so worried about you. You disappeared without a trace, then –”
Twilight’s face paled as she glanced down at Chrysalis’ face.
The changeling turned her head, as though Twilight’s gaze burned the deep gashes running over her cheek. She herself struggled to ignore the mar on her reflection. The alicorn released her, slinking away to a safer distance.
“I’m sorry. I forgot you were hurt. Did I . . . well, hurt anything else?”
“No.”
Chrysalis regained her footing, still hiding the damage from Twilight’s searching gaze.
“Did the Ursa do that to you?”
“Yes,” she groaned. “It caught me off guard. Got a pretty good hit in before I even knew it was there.” She ran her hoof over the wound.
“Let me look at it.”
“Twilight . . .”
Chrysalis relented with a heavy sigh. She turned back toward her companion, allowing her to study the full extent of the damage. Three long gouges began just below her broken horn, stretching down over her closed left eye before tapering off at her jawline.
“Can you open your eye?”
In response, the dark eyelid fluttered, never rising enough to allow a glimpse beyond.
“Does it hurt?”
“Yes. I had to use the last of my magic to patch up the bite.” She flexed her foreleg. “Didn’t have anything left for the eye. It bled for hours.”
“That sounds awful. I’m sorry I didn’t make it sooner.”
“Don’t apologize, Twilight. You’ve done nothing wrong. Just give me a minute to say my goodbyes, then we can go.”
Chrysalis glanced around the room, never focusing long on a single point.
“It’s strange. I had always felt such comfort here. It’s where I became a queen, where my children were born, and where I spent so much of my life fighting. But I guess that fight is over. Now it’s nothing more than a ruin, destined to crumble under the withering touch of time.”
“You could rebuild it,” Twilight suggested. “Start over. Start a new hive.”
“That’s what I came here to do. I would rebuild my throne and restore this hive to a form greater than ever before. But . . .”
“I guess the Ursa kind of derailed that plan,” Twilight said.
Chrysalis shook her head.
“No. I knew from my first step that it would never work. These stone walls were never home to me. I understand that now. It was the ones I cared for that saw me through all those years.”
She bowed her head.
“And now they’re gone.”
“Hey, don’t forget about Thorax.” Twilight splashed forward to stand at Chrysalis’ side. “He’s sent his changelings out all around Equestria searching for you. He’s been a nervous wreck without you. And don’t count me out, either. There are still others who care about you, Chrysalis.”
The changeling leaned against her companion, nearly toppling her.
“You still love me?”
“Of course.”
“Even after everything I’ve done?”
“Yes.”
“Thank you, Twilight. It means a lot to hear you say that,” Chrysalis said in a voice far lighter than before.
“Do you want to stay here a little longer?” Twilight asked, shifting around so she could lay her head over Chrysalis’ back.
“No.” She stepped away, untangling their embrace. “I’ll always have my memories of here, but I really need to head home.”
Side-by-side, the two of them made for the shallow end of the pool and out into the hall beyond.
Thorax was the only member of the crew still waiting for them at the door.
“Mom!” He cried, bounding forward in a child-like sprint. He wrapped his forelegs around her, pressing his cheek into her chitin chest plate.
“It’s good to see you too, Thorax.” She patted him on the head with her free hoof.
“I was so worried about you. I’m sorry about the other night. With Pharynx and the others. I won’t let them treat you like that again,” he promised, tearing up.
“It’s alright.”
“No, it isn’t. I abandoned you. You needed me, and I abandoned you. Just like before.”
“Hey.” She peeled Thorax away, guiding his chin with a hoof until he looked her in the eye.
“Your eye . . .” Thorax gasped.
“Listen to me, Thorax. I want you to promise me something.”
“Anything.”
“I don’t want you to worry about me anymore.”
Thorax jerked his head free from her grasp.
“What? Why?”
“I . . . I should be the one apologizing to you. I spent a lot of time thinking before you and Twilight arrived. I realized that I never taught you how to lead. Nor did I ever give you a role model to look up to. I know you love me, and I would never ask you to feel otherwise. But you’re not just a drone anymore. You’re the king. The others look up to you, just as you once looked up to me.”
“I-I don’t understand,” he stammered.
“You’ve done well so far. I can’t deny that. But there are more important things than me that demand your attention. So, promise me, as your queen, and as your mother, that you’ll stop fussing over me. Know that I don’t blame you for anything that happened between us.”
Chrysalis leaned forward, wrapping herself around a paralyzed Thorax.
“I’m proud of you. I’ll always be proud of you. And while I’m more than happy to offer advice and aid, you can’t fret over me forever. There are others who need you. Your subjects need you. I want you to be the king I know you can be. Will you do that for me?”
“W-Why are you saying all of this? What happened?”
“You said you’re upset with how your brothers and sisters treated me? I wondered about that myself while I was alone. And I think I know why. I’m not their queen anymore. And their king has spent far more time fussing over me than ruling. I know you’re disgusted by the way they’ve forgotten me, but they only do so because there are more important things to be done than worry for me.
“Will you do this for me, Thorax.”
“I . . . I’ll try,” he said, wiping a tear from his cheek.
“Thorax?”
“Yeah,” he sniffled.
“Remember what I taught you. A King doesn’t cry.”
The two of them shared one final squeeze before separating. The sound of sniffling drew their attention to Twilight, still standing off to the side, nursing her own brewing tears. She blushed as the changelings laughed.
“Don’t make fun of me. That was beautiful,” Twilight berated them, only prompting them to laugh harder. Their echoes finally garnered the attention of the two Crystal Guards standing at the mouth of the Great Hall.
“Did we miss something?” Glaze asked, noticing the teary-eyed smile decorating Twilight’s face.
“Well, looks like she’s still kicking after all,” Dusti mused, staring down Chrysalis, earning her a furtive glare from Thorax.
Chrysalis tugged Twilight aside.
“What are those two here for?”
“They were my backup.”
“In case I didn’t want to come home?”
Twilight frowned.
“No. They’re friends of mine. They helped me find you.”
“What are you two whispering about?” Dusti asked.
“Nothing important,” Chrysalis assured them.
“Right.” Dusti rolled her eyes.
“We should start making our way back to the entrance. We don’t want to keep the Captain waiting.” Glaze said, stepping between the two of them.
“Right.” Twilight nodded.
At her royal command, the group set off, making their way through the labyrinthian circuit back to the entrance of the caves. Chrysalis’ face scrunched whenever they passed the bloody breadcrumbs that marked their path.
“Does it still hurt?” Twilight asked.
She and Chrysalis slowed, allowing a space to open between the groups.
“What?”
“The claw marks. Do they still hurt?”
“Stings a little. Nothing you need to worry about.”
“Why shouldn’t I worry about it?”
“It’s not a bother to me. Is something wrong, Twilight?”
Twilight glanced ahead, making sure the rest of the party had moved out of earshot. “Everything you said about Thorax back there. That he needs to stop worrying about you and focus on ruling. Is that what you expect me to do? Because I won’t.”
“Relax, Twilight. I know better than to try and convince you of that.”
“I didn’t ask if you thought I would do it, I asked if you expected me to do it.”
Chrysalis tilted her head side-to-side, letting her thoughts rattle around her skull.
“I think it would be for the best. If you were forced to choose between your people and myself, could you do it?”
Twilight took a deep breath.
“I wasn’t going to come find you.”
“Is that so?”
“I was sending Thorax along with a complement of guards to bring you back. Without Luna, I didn’t want to leave the ponies without a princess to look over them. So, I didn’t plan to come find you.”
“I must say, I’m impressed—”
“Well don’t be,” Twilight interrupted. “I hated it. If something had happened . . . if they weren’t able to convince you . . . If you didn’t come back . . . I would have blamed myself for it.”
Chrysalis nodded solemnly. “Then, you decided you would put me before Equestria?”
“I didn’t choose anything. Luna was able to take over for me.”
“What would you have done if she hadn’t done that?”
“I . . . I don’t know.”
“It’s something you should consider, Twilight.”
Twilight scoffed. “Fine. But then there’s something I want you to consider, too.”
“And what is that?” Chrysalis asked, observing Twilight from the corner of her eye.
“Don’t think you’re expendable.”
“I don’t.”
“But you act like it sometimes. You say that we shouldn’t worry about you, and that you’re not worth jeopardizing our subjects . . . ”
“Do you think you should sacrifice your ponies for me?”
“No . . . But I hate hearing you say it so casually. Like you expect it to be simple for us to sacrifice you. You’re special, Chrysalis. Not just to me, but to Thorax too. That’s why we worry about you. I don’t know what either of us would do if we lost you.”
“I . . . I suppose I hadn’t thought of it that way.”
“Even if it makes me unworthy of being a princess . . . I don’t know if I could choose between you and my subjects. I know what the right answer is, of course, but that wouldn’t make it any easier.”
“No. You’re right. I suppose it’s not quite that simple. Decisions like that are never simple . . .”
“But?”
Chrysalis turned her attention to the far wall.
“But . . . they do get easier . . .”
“That’s cruel,” Twilight whispered.
“Maybe. But it’s something I’ve learned from experience.”
“So then, would you sacrifice me to save another?” Twilight questioned, her voice taking on a harder edge.
Chrysalis hung her head. “I . . .”
The silence between them gave way to the sound of rain and thunder.
“We’re here.” Glaze announced, gesturing to the apocalyptic storm beyond the mouth of the cave.”
“I’ll signal the ship,” Dusti said, stepping as close as she could do the clattering hail without getting caught up in it. Her horn lit up, the same as when she conjured the light that guided them. With a wave of her head, she launched the light high into the air. It hung there for several seconds before fading.
“Think the Captain saw it?”
“I’ll send another if he doesn’t show. Until then, I guess we just wait here.” Dusti shrugged. She trudged over to the cave wall, plopping down and leaning her head back against the granite. Glaze set himself down beside her, tossing his helmet to the side. Thorax did likewise, though on the opposite wall.
Twilight looked to Chrysalis, waiting for her to make a move. The changeling joined neither group, instead simply falling where she stood. Twilight took a moment to circle, looking for a comfortable position to join her.
“How do you live underground like this?” Dusti asked, focusing on neither changeling in particular.
“We’re not the only species that lives underground, you know. Dragons usually live in caves, too.” Thorax said, his voice a little defensive.
“Yeah, but dragons also have scales strong enough to soak in lava. I doubt they feel any difference no matter what they’re laying on.”
“Where else would we go?” Chrysalis shrugged.
“I don’t know. Build a city on the surface. I’m sure the ponies wouldn’t have minded sharing their towns. Well, before you started eating them, I mean,” she added, spitefully.
“My dear,” Chrysalis began, raising her head and forcing Twilight to adjust her position, “we’re parasites. No species in their right mind wants to deal with us. Do you honestly think Equestria is the first continent we’ve settled in?”
“I’ve never heard of changelings anywhere else,” Glaze mused.
“Because they’re in hiding or dead. So far, Equestria is the most hospitable land we’ve ever lived in. You still try to kill us, but you’ve never raided our hives or hunted us down. Now that I think about it, it might just be sheer incompetence, though.”
“You make it sound like we’re the bad guys,” Dusti snorted.
“I didn’t say anything of the sort.”
“Did you expect anything besides hostility? For most of Equestria, our first interaction was your invasion of Canterlot.”
Chrysalis tilted her head, asking, “Were you there?”
“I was. Do you know how many friends I lost that day?”
“None, I would guess. There were strict orders about killing.”
“Perhaps we might try a different topic?” Twilight interrupted.
Dusti ignored her.
“You didn’t have to kill them. Your drones drained them. Stole every ounce of emotion and left them as nothing more than a husk. Maybe we should have raided your hives. You would have deserved it.”
“Dusti, that’s enough,” Thorax chimed.
“We should have chased you down to the borders of Equestria. And now here you are, worming your way into the good graces of the princess—”
“Lieutenant Diamond, that’s enough,” Twilight snarled. “The changelings aren’t our enemies anymore. You would do well to remember that.”
A crack of thunder filled the air.
“As you say, Princess,” Dusti relented.
They sat in silence until their ship appeared overhead, drifting towards the ground.
“Looks like Sky managed to fix his navigational charts,” Glaze said, hoping against hope to clear the sour taste in the air.
“Dusti?” Twilight’s voice became gentle.
“I’m sorry, Princess. I got a little carried away there.”
Twilight shook her head. “This has been a little stressful on all of us. We should just get to the ship and get home.”
“That sounds like a great plan,” Chrysalis agreed, stepping out into the rain. Thorax followed close behind her, his face solemn. The hail bounced harmlessly off their chitin.
“Dusti, I know how you feel, but things have changed since the invasion of Canterlot,” Twilight whispered.
“I know, Princess. I just . . .” In the somber atmosphere of the storm, with the few streams of silvered sunlight that poured through the clouds, the unicorn’s age started to show. She looked mournful without the spark of youthful energy in her face.
“We’ll talk more about this when we get back to Canterlot.”
“Yes, Princess.”
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Thanks for the chapter!
10631097
Thanks for the comment!
Really perfect thorax you have
He holds no resentment or ill will and would jump at the change of helping chrysalis
You do better than the show ever will
Congrats!
10631366
Thanks. Thorax is one of my favorite characters to write, since he sort of holds that balance between being a king and still being a kid. It's a fun perspective to write. I'm glad you're enjoying it.
Oh, caught up. Huh.
10631464
Yup. I've been following your comments as you go. I'm still not entirely sure whether or not you liked it, though . . .
10631469
To be honest neither am I.
As you can no doubt see, I feel Twilight is going way too fast with this, infatuation is a very shaky foundation to build a permanent relationship on. Especially if the person you're infatuated with may or may not be under the influence of emotion-altering magic.
On the other hand, you do a reasonable job of writing the characters, and I suppose I'm not strictly opposed to the ship. I just think it's rushed. I guess I just want to see how it ends.
10631475
That's fair. To be honest, I wrote this sort of as practice exercise. This is the first time Ive ever written romance, so I figured it would have some issues to iron out . . .
Ouch, I hope her eye is just swollen shut, not damaged beyond repair. D:
Well, it's not like Chryssie drained those ponies personally, the other changelings had a choice of how much to drain. >.>
Also, eeeeeeeee, they're coming back together! :D
10632251
Glad you're enjoying it.
10636303
it didn't hurt the story for me at all I'm still enjoying it and continuing to read
its just the shift in chrysilas's emotions were rushed and for twilight not to be freaking out and either at celistias bed side 24/7 or experimenting just feels out of character
but besides that im loving it so far and i definitely got to give you props for the part where the Captain consoles twilight and compares her anxieties to war cuz like honestly anxiety can really feel like that
10637257
Glad to hear it. Have you caught up, or did you just comment on the main page so it put it in the last chapter?
10637321
im on chapter 27 i just comment on the main page cuz that's where it took me to reply :P
10637346
Yeah. If you see all the deleted comments from me, that's why. I'll reply to a comment on Chapter 20 something on Chapter 40. So I just delete it then go comment in the right spot. It drives me crazy.
I'll be interested in reading your comments as you go through the story . . . *wink*
Anything I said in the previous chapter feeling as though it ended abruptly should be ignored. Note to self read next chapter before commenting. Great installment love the story.
10731788
It's all cool. I'm just glad you're enjoying the story.
Honestly the only casualties were changelings in the show a d that's cause like all kids cartoons with monsters and stuff it's alright to kill it if it doesn't look like your species, is a machine, or a bug or animal. But its rare on the animal part.
11251530
I'd like to imagine that in this canon, it was a little less one-sided.