Death of a Queen

by Arkane12

41: Decisions

“Oh.”

It was the only word Twilight thought to utter.

Thorax stayed frozen as he finished, watching the years race by before his eyes.

“And you know the rest of the story. I couldn’t stop her from invading Canterlot. We spent a lot of resources we didn’t have to make it as far as we did. When we were driven back . . . well, that was the end.”

“The end?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah. I saw you and your friends fighting against the swarm. When I felt that true love and friendship, all I could think of was the ponies we took. Each one of them had friends and family waiting for them, I’m sure. What right did we have to take that away from them?”

“So, what did you do?”

“I couldn’t return to the hive. Knowing the terrible things we did, how could I face my brothers and sisters? I always knew we were monsters, but I’d spent too long lying to myself to realize it. I didn’t even say goodbye.”

“I’m sorry, Thorax.”

“For what?” He scoffed. “Are you going to apologize for fighting a battle you didn’t start? We made our choices, Twilight. We needed to pay for the consequences. And we did. After I left, the hive fell apart. From what the other drones tell me, Chrysalis . . . stopped functioning.

“She spent all her free time in her chambers, planning ridiculous schemes. Orders stopped coming. Love stopped pouring in. Changelings have a sincere devotion to their Queen, sure, but most didn’t just wait around to die. By the time she launched her attack against you and your friends . . . it was just a matter of time.”

“And then you came to rescue us.”

He looked tired. Thunder echoed from the distant darkness. In desperation, Twilight turned upward, toward the sky. A full moon hung low amidst the veil of stars. They reminded her of Luna.

“Sometimes, I wonder what would have happened if I’d stayed.”

“You can’t think like that, Thorax.”

“It’s not that simple, Twilight. I knew she’d be devastated if her plan failed. I knew she’d need me. And I ran as fast and as far as I could to get away from her. In her most desperate moment, I abandoned her.”

“You didn’t abandon her,” Twilight argued.

“What would you call it, then?” He snapped back.

“Chrysalis pushed you away.”

“She loved me, Twilight. She sacrificed so much for me. And I repaid her with treason.”

“If you hadn’t left, we would never have met you. And there’s a decent chance your changelings wouldn’t have survived,” Twilight said.

“Maybe. I guess it doesn’t really matter now though, does it?”

“I’m sorry. I know things haven’t been easy on you.”

“I’m not telling you all of this so you’ll feel sorry for me, Twilight. I’ve made my bed. I’ll sleep soundly in it. You deserved to know the real Chrysalis. The cruelty. The kindness. Twilight, I want you to make me a promise.”

He rose to his hooves. The rumbling thunder grew closer. Occasional bolts of lightning illuminated the deck brighter than any sunny morning. With a heavy sigh, he turned his back to Twilight.

“When you find her, you’ll have to make a decision. I can’t tell you what’s right, but I want you to assure me that you’ll make that decision for yourself. If you choose Chrysalis, do it because you think she deserves it. If you don’t . . . then it’s not your problem to live with. We chose the path that led us here, Twilight. You shouldn’t suffer because of our choices.”

“That’s not true—”

“Promise me, Twilight.”

“I . . . I promise.”

“Good.”

With that, Thorax left. He headed toward the cabin, disappearing behind the tinted glass of the wheelhouse and leaving Twilight nearly alone on the deck. Twilight didn’t notice the figure approaching until it sat down beside her.

“A lot on your mind?”

Twilight jumped, her train of thought derailing.

“Dusti?”

Lieutenant Diamond winked, tipping an invisible hat toward the princess.

“The one and only.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to jump like that. You just . . . surprised me.”

“Yeah. Looks like you were pretty deep in thought. I thought I’d help you with that.”

Twilight chuckled, leaning back against the wooden rail.

“I’m not sure the most talented therapist in Equestria could fix me.”

“Well there’s your problem. You don’t need a therapist to help you think. Just a distraction. Seriously, have you ever tried thinking less?”

Twilight squinted an eye at her companion. “I’m a princess of Equestria. Acting on a whim sounds like a good way to start a war.”

Dusti shrugged.

Twilight sighed.

“So, Your Majesty, what’s on your mind?”

“It’s . . . complicated.”

“I’m a complicated girl. Try me.”

“It’s not really something I want to talk about, Dusti.”

“That’s why you should talk about it. You’re struggling to reach a decision, right? Well, bounce some ideas off me. I promise I don’t gossip. In fact, I’ve been known to give good advice every few years or so. Unless it’s like . . . something embarrassing you did.”

“It’s Chrysalis.”

Dusti raised an eyebrow.

“So . . . does she count as something embarrassing you did?”

A fit of coughing overwhelmed Twilight as she felt her cheeks burning bright red. Her wings bristled. “What? No. I mean . . . We didn’t . . . What?”

Dusti laughed. “You should see the look on your face right now.”

“It’s not funny. You don’t just make insinuations like that about a princess. You’re a soldier. What ever happened to the Chain of Command?”

“If you want me to leave, just give me the order,” Dusti challenged, her wispy chuckle finally fading into the night.

“I . . .” Twilight exhaled slowly. “No. Just . . . don’t say something like that again or I’m telling Shining and Cadence.”

“Bringing in the big guns, huh? Alright. I promise. No more insinuations about your probably very active love life.”

“Dusti!”

“Sorry. Force of habit. Let’s get back on topic. You were telling me about your problems?”

“I was considering telling you about my problems. I haven’t decided anything yet.”

“Well, that’s a good place to start.” Dusti squirmed around until she was lying on her back, staring up at the stars. She folded her forelegs behind her head, forming a soft surface to cradle her. Her hind legs kicked toward Twilight in an uneven rhythm. “You think too much.”

“We’ve been through this.”

“Look, I get it. You have to consider every possibility. You have to understand all the long-term effects to make sure Equestria is safe. But we’re not talking about the future of Equestria here, are we?”

“Maybe we are. I guess that depends on Chrysalis.”

Dusti chewed her lip thoughtfully. “Okay, let’s try this. Despite my royal beauty and charisma, I am just a humble soldier. I’ve been in my fair share of scrapes throughout my tour. Do you have any idea what happens to a soldier if they get caught up thinking on the battlefield?”

Twilight frowned.

“Suffice to say, the long-term effects don’t really matter to them anymore. Do you see what I’m getting at here?” She leaned forward just enough to read Twilight’s rather dour expression. “Sometimes, thinking about something is just going to get you in more trouble. You’ll get so caught up in thinking about the decision, that you forget to actually make it.”

“I know. I’ve done it before.”

“Well, with that established, we can move on to Chrysalis.”

“I know you don’t like her,” Twilight muttered.

“What’s your point? I don’t like Glaze either, but that’s never stopped me.”

Twilight studied the soldier’s expression, unsure of whether she should take her seriously or not. This confusion prompted an annoyed groan from the soldier.

“No, Princess, I don’t like her. But you do. And you’re the one on trial here.”

“Since we started working together, I saw a side of her I never expected. Beneath that tough exterior, she can be gentle and kind.” The slightest hint of a smile crept across Twilight’s lips. “I liked that side of her.”

Dusti gagged silently. Twilight’s grin vanished.

“But at the same time, she’s done a lot of terrible things, too. What if I misjudged her? What if I’m just biased? What if I take her back and she starts hurting ponies again? I thought I knew her, but I’m having second thoughts. What if I didn’t really love her?”

“Quite the conundrum,” Dusti interjected.

“That’s not helpful,” Twilight said flatly.

“Twilight . . . I don’t have much experience in the whole ‘love’ department. Well . . . not the kind of experience you’re looking for here. My point is . . .”

She trailed off, her mouth frozen on the last syllable.

“Your point is?”

“Give me a second, I’m trying to think of a good point.”

“Dusti . . .”

“I think you should drag her back in chains.”

“Isn’t that a little . . . harsh?”

“What I’m trying to tell you is that this isn’t a question I can answer for you. But I can offer you this advice: sometimes . . . sometimes the difference between right and wrong isn’t that clear.”

Twilight’s brow furrowed.

“What do you mean?”

“Fighting changelings has cost me a lot of good friends. But . . . it’s a little funny . . .”

Dusti unleashed a mournful chuckle.

“How is that funny?”

“I’ve spent every night since the invasion wishing I could be there as Chrysalis drew her last breath . . . as if that would somehow magically fix all the pain she’s ever wrought.”

The unicorn stared into the stars, her vision far beyond them.

“You really hate her, don’t you?” Twilight asked hesitantly.

“That’s the part that I find funny. How many ponies have thought that same thing about me? I’m a soldier. I’ve spent years moving from battlefield to battlefield. I’ve hurt others. I’ve . . . I’ve ruined my fair share of lives, Princess. Does that make me evil?”

Twilight simply stared at the mare lying beside her.

“I fought for my country; for my princesses. Chrysalis fought for her hive and drones.”

“Dusti, are you okay?”

“Good and evil aren’t always so black and white, Twilight. If that’s the question you try to answer, you’ll be wondering about it the rest of your life. So, think of it this way. Which choice will you be able to live with? If you choose her, maybe she’ll betray you later down the line. Or maybe she’ll build a new life with you. I doubt even Celestia knows. But what do you think?”

“I . . . I don’t know.”

“That’s the question you have to ask yourself.”

Twilight let her shoulders droop, chewing thoughtfully on Dusti’s advice.

“I suppose it doesn’t matter too much right now anyways.” The lieutenant’s somber expression twisted into a grin. “Luna’s orders are to bring her back regardless.”

“Oh, now you care about orders,” Twilight mused.

“Well, yeah. Princess Luna ordered it.”

“Dusti . . . you might be the craziest mare I’ve ever met—”

“I try.”

“But you made a few good points.”

“I did?” Her eyes lit up. “I did!”

“Thank you.”

“It’s all in a day’s work. Unfortunately, that’s all my good advice for the year. Hope Glaze doesn’t need any. I mean, I’ll still give him advice, it’ll just be terrible.”

Dusti clicked her tongue as she grinned.

The ship sailed into a sea of grey clouds. Each crack of thunder shook the boards of the ship. Twilight could feel the static from each bolt that arced beneath them. The loudspeakers on the ship crackled to life with a momentary whine.

“This is Captain Shield.” His voice echoed from the brass speaker.

The two figures still on deck looked to the wheelhouse.

“I’m giving the order to clear the decks. We will be starting our descent soon and this ride is going to get a little bumpy. I want every pony on this ship standing by just in case. That is all.”

Dusti rose, brushing off her armor. “Sounds like we should get inside.”

Twilight looked out past the ship’s bow. Blackened clouds swirled like waves.

“You’re a good friend, Dusti.”

The lieutenant flipped a loose strand of her mane over her shoulder.

“Just remember that when you’re giving your brother a performance review, okay?”

“And tell him what? That you refused to listen to the Princess? Or maybe I should tell him all about your comments about my love life?”

Dusti gasped behind a hoof. “After everything I did for you? How could you be so cruel, Princess?”

The two of them broke into a fit of giggling.

“Alright. Let’s get going.” the soldier nodded toward the cabin. “All of this static electricity is messing with my mane.”

“I’m right behind you.”

Comments

[Kessie_amarra]

Thanks for the fic so far!

[Arkane12]

10603132
Thanks. Did you just find it, or have you been reading along for a while now? What do you think?

[Kessie_amarra]

10603534
I just found it and binged it. I am really liking it so far

[Razzy]

Yeah, it's totally your fault, you traitorous rainbow moose you.

[Venerable Ro]

“Since we started working together, I saw a side of her I never expected. Beneath that tough exterior, she can be gentle and kind.” The slightest hint of a smile crept across Twilight’s lips. “I liked that side of her.”

The Celestia side?